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Eating normally after months of not eating


DazedNConfused
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Hi,

 

During my first 12 months of withdrawal one of my most debilitating symptoms was nausea. As a result, I ate the bare minimum (often going days on end with no food) and after a while my stomach "shrunk" (for lack of a better word) to the point where if I was hungry, I couldn't eat more than a fistful of food before feeling so full that I was going to vomit and/or explode. I would have to lie down and would often fall asleep after eating because (I'm assuming) my body was using every last little bit of energy it had to digest the food. As you can guess, I turned into a walking skeleton as a result.

 

Fast forward 10 months, and my general nausea has all but disappeared. I still get the occasional flare up, but I think it is more anxiety related or when I push myself too hard. The problem is that between waking and about 3pm, the thought of preparing and eating anything makes me anxious and nauseous. Once 3pm hits, shaking and disorientated, I will ravage the cupboards/fridge desperate to find something because I know my blood sugar is at an extremely low level. This will usually be a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps.

 

Prior to withdrawing, I was quite health conscious and ate and exercised very well to keep my athletic figure (6 small balanced meals a day, etc etc). Now that I'm starting to see brief snippets of the old me again (emotionally), i really want to get back into the whole nutrition thing. It was something that I really loved back in the day. The thing is, I really don't know where to start.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can get through this mental block? I honestly feel that I will be able to somewhat speed up my recovery even just a little if I can get my physical health back on track. Right now I live off processed foods and don't exercise at all. I have zero energy. I would also like to add that I have a phobia of eating. I'm scared that anything I put into my body will trigger a panic attack. I have no idea why I have this fear as I can't recall actually having one after eating. Could stem from the uncontrollable urge to lie down and sleep from the earlier days, or from having reactions to multivitamins and other supplements. *shrugs*.

 

As a side note, I've been going through this phase of believing that if I want the old Amy back, all I have to do is think like the old Amy. "What would the old Amy think?" is a phrase that goes around and around and around in my mind whenever I'm feeling a bit on edge. Is that weird? I seem to I've been quite obsessive about it.... But I think it's helping a little.

Drug history

  • On and off ADs about 3 times in a 10 year period - All CT with no problems
  • 6 months of ADs during pregnancy (can't remember what type or dosage) - CT a week after birth with no problems
  • 2 years of alcohol abuse - CT with moderate withdrawals
  • Approx 3 weeks of Remeron (Mirtazapine) 15mg - CT with massive withdrawals
  • One dose of Cymbalta 30mg (?) - Caused severe panic attack and binned them
  • Clean of all drugs (except nicotine) since Jan 30 2013
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Dazed, good to hear of this progress.

 

If I were you, I'd eat a very small amount of something good for breakfast, perhaps yogurt? Or broth? Whatever goes down best. Don't force it, just eat a little, but at the same time every day.

 

If you wait until the afternoon to eat, you're stressing your body out with low blood sugar.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Thanks Alto. I know the importance of eating regularly. I have eaten a slice of watermelon today, and it's 3.05pm.

 

As for the progress, I was having a good day. Today I'm having an inexplicably super-bad one. Feeling so angry and upset but I don't know why.

 

Oh well, easy come, easy go hey.

Drug history

  • On and off ADs about 3 times in a 10 year period - All CT with no problems
  • 6 months of ADs during pregnancy (can't remember what type or dosage) - CT a week after birth with no problems
  • 2 years of alcohol abuse - CT with moderate withdrawals
  • Approx 3 weeks of Remeron (Mirtazapine) 15mg - CT with massive withdrawals
  • One dose of Cymbalta 30mg (?) - Caused severe panic attack and binned them
  • Clean of all drugs (except nicotine) since Jan 30 2013
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