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Cdav: How to deal with depression and interrupted personal/career plans


Cdav

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Hello, I've been reading this forum since I started having horrible trouble with withdrawal symptoms. But this is the first time I write here. 

 

You can see my history in my signature. 

 

Right now I'm not sure if I'm in protracted withdrawal or relapse. Depression runs in my family. My mom has depression with psychotic episodes and my brother is diagnosed as bipolar. I don't know why this happens in my family, also extended family. Both my mom and brother are on medications and are stable and doing well. However, I haven't been well since I started the withdrawal journey first from going off Effexor 8 years ago, and then from Pristiq 3 years ago. I can't tolerate antidepressants now, and still have many debilitating withdrawal symptoms. 

 

So I'm not sure, if this is a combination of relapse and withdrawal. I know it has to do something with withdrawal, 'cause I continue to have brain zaps, akathisia, confusion, fatigue, nerve pain, and the list goes on and on. 

 

I am really confused right now. I had a window during the summer and I thought I was healed, but now I have a bad wave. 

 

What makes me most depressed is having to interrupt projects and plans that used to be my dreams and passions. I'm a singer/songwriter. Haven't been able to be creative for over a year, which really frustrates me. I still sing (though sometimes I do it without pleasure) since it's part of my job, but only at weddings, restaurants, etc. I recorded an album over the last year and a half (with songs I had written before withdrawal), it took me so long to finish this project due to depression and withdrawal symptoms which have been extremely debilitating. The album is done, the art of the album is ready. Now I'm faced with having to promote myself here in my country (Mexico). I don't have the energy, the mind clarity or the confidence now, since I don't know how my body and mind will do in a week, or tomorrow, or in a month, or at anytime. 

 

So my life is interrupted and I don't know for how long. I also was about to get married 3 years ago and that's when I decided to go off Pristiq. My body and mind went into chaos, turning me into someone I know is not really me. So wedding plans have been postponed (until I heal or at least get better and stay that way). The relationship has not been easy, we've broken up many times when I have waves. 

 

I just wanted to know if someone could give me some advice on how do you deal with hopelessness when dreams and plans that once excited me and gave me happiness are now on hold without knowing when I will be able to resume without fear of committing myself and then having a bad wave? 

 

Thank you

 

 

Edited by scallywag
tags added

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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I don't know to be honest I'm kind of in the same boat.

 

 

I wish you much healing.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Hello Cdav.

I have also suffered from depression for a long time.

I came off effexor nearly 8 months ago and I am following the windows and waves. Right now I'm on a bad wave, but not as bad as they were before.

I understand how you feel, and I don't fully get to see where the problem with the psychiatric drugs ends and where my depressive or melancholic nature begins. But I don't think that's the point, trying to look back for absolute answers to this is probably a waste of time. Many times I ask myself these fundamental questions, hoping that finding the answer will give me the happiness and serenity I am looking for. But this is wrong. The point is not getting answers to these questions, but to be well. 

What I am putting all my efforts right now is on being well, healing the nervous system, building resilience and in myself.

So I pay a lot of attention to eating well, doing some exercise, getting enough rest, taking supplements (omega3, magnesium, vitamin E, vitamin D3), socializing a little bit, meditating as much as I can. I am also going to try cognitive therapy, something that in the past did not have a great effect on me but I think right now it may help reinforce my work.

In a nutshell, persevere in healing, give yourself that priority.

I'm seeing progress in my healing path, but I also see there's still a long way ahead. So I'm building up patience also, something that I never truly had.

Best wishes to you.

1999-2004 citalopram 10 to 20mg with 2-3 withdrawal attempts.
2004 fluvoxamine for 4-5 months aprox. Changed to venlafaxine because of the headaches and dizziness.
2005-March 2014 venlafaxine usually starting on 150mg and coming down to 75 or 37.5. Several withdrawal attempts.
In March 2014 I stopped taking 37.5mg of venlafaxine without tapering.

Went through 5 months of confusion, anxiety, insomnia and desperation. From then I am very slowly recovering, on windows and waves.

Symptoms: muscle stiffness and aches, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, memory loss, inability to concentrate or think straight, difficulty to speak, difficulty to read (improving).

Taking omega3, magnesium, calcium, vitamin E and probiotics.

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Hello Cdav and welcome to SA,

 

I read your post in the section on Finding meaning but felt it would be more appropriate as your introductory topic.

 

After I read what you wrote I had a strong feeling that information and experience gathered on this forum might explain a lot of things that have been happening to you. I went through the same experience: stopping medication, being hit by depression worse than ever before,  starting it again and believing that something was fundamentaly wrong with me. People in my family haven't been diagnosed with depression but I would say many of them might be described as highly sensitive persons (like in the book I'm reading right now). It means we are just different than the majority of people but also more sensitive to negative situations in life. We also live in a culture which doesn't appreciate unique benefits people like us are bringing. More importantly, we don't appreciate ourselves and we don't know how to handle our emotions therefore ending bruised or in other words feeling depressed.

 

Thank you for providing your drug history. What would also be important to add is the dosages of your drugs. Just by looking at your drug history with 20 (!) drugs tried on you as if you were a guineapig, it's no wonder you feel the way you feel. Your doctor sounds like some seriously bad news! I apologise for this, but I'm really angry on your behalf for what has happened to you. Has he put all of his other patients on 20 drugs in 2 yours to conclude that you are the the only patient with this type of  hypersensibility? So treating you as as a guineapig is not his fault. He has absolutely no responsibility for the state his treatment brought you in. It's so convenient to blame everything on you "illness" and "hypersensibility". ;(((

 

I would tell you to go and look for another doctor but unfortunately most of them are like this. This is a reason we have gathered here: we didn't want to be guineapigs any more. After I read things on this forum, I started to understand what was actually happening in all those years of my suffering after discontinuing these drugs. It feels strange and arrogant but I don't consult any psychiatrists regarding my drug situation any more. This is because for many years the advice I got caused me dreadful suffering. I'm lucky that my GP respects my experience and agrees with my tapering plan that I have arranged with the help of extremely knowledgeable people here. She sees that I'm doing better than ever so she has no problem in supporting me.

 

You are right in concluding that we all need multi-layer support: one level is how to deal with and resolve issues that led us to start taking these drugs in the first place. The second level is how to deal with the consequences of drug use (which is the primary question of your post). But there is also a very important third level: how to deal with the drugs themselves, understand how they work so that we could stop using them in such a way that they don't cause us further damage and that we reduce the harm they are are causing us.

 

This forum exists for the third level questions. We try to provide support on 2 other levels but this kind of suuport is actually out of scope of what an internet forum can do. That's why I for instance work with a therapist, read a lot of self-help books, and so on.

 

We can give you advice on how to deal with hopelessness but we are actually more equipped to give you advice on how to stop using the drugs in such a way that they don't cause you this hopelessness and interfere with your life so badly. 

 

Can you add the dose of the medication you were taking and years (say for instance Effexor 75 mg 2000-2008)?

 

11 years on ADs is a long time and even if I don't know the dose, tapering over 1 year was too fast which caused the worse depression than your initial one and a host of other symptoms. Many of us here, me included, have expeerienced exactly the same thing. We also experienced that our doctor "diagnose" withdrawal syndrome as "relapse" and throw more medication onto a brain that is badly struggling to regain homeostasis. Adding 20 drugs after that was the worst thing that could have been done ;(

 

The good things is that our brains have great ability to heal and recover. But it takes time. I agree with your conclusion that you are now in protracted withdrawal and that adding any more drugs would make things even worse. We do see that reinsttaing a very small amount of a drug (much smaller than any psychiatrist thinks possible) brings a relief of symptoms. But if too much time has passed after stopping and too many drugs tried, that will probably not work. So I agree with you that now it's best to manage the symptoms. You will find a lot of tips in our Symptoms and self-care section. And also support on how to deal with accepting this temporary state of non-functioning while waiting for your nervous system to stabilise.

 

You will have to be careful with the sedatives you are now using because treating them like there were candy that you can updose, reduce, stop taking, etc. will cause even more symptoms. Before I make any change with my drugs I consult with the people here and read the information on the drugs. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find this kind of understanding in my doctors. 

 

I apologise for throwing so much information at you but when I read your story it remined me of everything I was going through for so many years. Joining this forum enabled me to take control of my life so I'm very happy for you that you have found us also.

 

Maybe you can again post your question on finidng meaning in that section. It's just that I felt the drugs played such a major role in leading you to helplessness and I wrote so much so that you could understand their role. What has been done has been done. But you are still taking some drugs so I just wouldn't like them to hurt you more. 

 

Once again, welcome.

 

Bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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It is a long and terrible journey to the twenty drug camp. I am in it as well. 

 

I can relate to drugs and withdrawal interfering with creative endeavours. Lithium stopped my creativity in its tracks. I haven't been able to write for several years. It's like I cannot make connections in my brain or "feel" the writing anymore. Because this has been ongoing for several years, I've just gotten used it. Occasionally I am reminded of my creative past, and it is painful. For instance, I recently had a film I had worked extremely hard on premiere at a festival. I didn't even attend. I don't want to be around others all talking about their next projects, among other reasons.

 

Now, theoretically, as my lithium levels decrease, I should see a return in creativity. Further, if I can lower the other drugs I'm taking, I may feel more like myself. So, in time, I hope that I can resume my creative activities. For me I think this is still a few years out. 

 

Occasionally, when I am in a more hopeful disposition, I wonder how I could make another film (with all the stress it involves) without crashing into a wave. I don't know. I suspect I will just know when it's time. 

 

Meanwhile I try and peck away at an upcoming project (mostly in vain) and I bide my time.

Many previous drugs.

 

June 2014:    Mirtazapine 30mg, Lithium 600mg, and Lyrica 100mg. (Acute withdrawal ends, but general withdrawal continues.)

June 2015:    Mirtazapine 26.5mg,  Lithium 535mg, and Lyrica 75mg.

June 2016:    Mirtazapine 20mg,  Lithium 350mg, and Lyrica 30mg. 

June 2017:    Mirtazapine 19.1mg,  Lithium 200mg, Lyrica .5mg  (Lyrica discontinued September 2017)

March 2018:  Mirtazapine 16.15mg, Lithium 90mg 

October 2019: Mirtazapine 4.65mg (Lithium discontinued March 2019)

June 2020:    Mirtazapine 1.25mg

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Cdav.

 

Jose's post sums up about all you can do to help yourself heal. Take care of yourself as best you can. It will be one foot in front of the other for a while, just remind yourself to keep walking.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you Joannad, Jose, Bubble, , Dignan and Alostrata for your answers. Reading you makes me feel not so alone. 


 


Jose, Thanks for the tips. I know it's hard when we have a depressive/melancholic nature, like you said. I'm also trying to do whatever I can to lift depression (exercise, supplements, socializing, etc) But lately the depression is extremely deep and I even have death thoughts. I know I have to be strong and patient, it's really hard, though. 


 


Bubble, thank you for putting my post on the introductory thread. I also changed the signature as you suggested.  And yes, I feel so angry and frustrated. I wish I could turn back time and not accept all the medication that followed withdrawal. But at that timeI felt so bad I just wanted to ingest whatever  could make me feel better. Now I know medication makes everything much worse in my case. I'm furious at my doctor, but the other doctors I've gone to for a second opinion are far more clueless in the matter of withdrawal. One of them was a psychoanalyst who prescribed drugs, and didn't even know antidepressants have different half lives! 


   My therapist has helped me with many issues, but she still doesn't fully understand what protracted withdrawal is and the whole list of symptoms that go along. Last time I went to therapy, she said it seems to her that I just want to find reasons to be  be complaining about something all the time. There just aren't many options to get professional help in my situation and in my town. And I'm also tired of spending so much money over this. 


  Thank you for the sympathy and your words Bubble, they are extremely helpful. 


 


Dignan, 


I completely understand how you don't want to be around other creative people talking about their projects. I feel often so jealous when I'm around other friends who are also songwriters, how the songs just pour happily out of them. I used to be that way, and now when I listen to songs I've written before withdrawal I feel so sad, because I cannot believe how I could have come up with those songs and now I just can't.  But yes, projects are stressful, and who knows if they can cause another relapse. That's what I'm facing right now. I really wish once you reduce your medication creativity will show up again.

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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Brilliant therapist they sound! That really annoys me..in this field of work and they do not know about/acknowledge withdrawal

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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My heart is with you Cdav <3

 

I am in a similar boat and its like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

I truly believe I could be a wonderfully positive changing influence in this world- I want so badly to show compassion to this world in a creative way.

If only Pristiq would get out of my system and let me do so. 

I want to see the world but can't because what if I misplace my pills in the middle of bloody nowhere and am stuck in a cold turkey situation- I'd probably die- and thats not an exaggeration, I wouldn't cope. 

 

I am a creative writer but have not been able to write anything I deem worthy since being on Pristiq. A few hateful poems is all I have mustered. 

 

I wish you all the best with everything in your life. My relationship is on a 'break' because of who I became this last year- I hope both mine and your relationships work out to make everyone happy- I wish you nothing but happiness in this world- I can only imagine how much you need it right now.

 

xx

-3rd attempt at discontinuing Pristiq-

2011-Started 50mg Pristiq from gp.
After f/n no difference started 100mg. Aggression, depression and suicidal tendencies increased.
2011-first attempt at discontinuation of pristiq; Psychiatrist halved (cut in half) 100mg tablets (contrary to recommendations)to 50mg for first week, replacing with 20mg prozac and a low dosage tranquilizer (apologies I cannot remember the name) 
Withdrawal symptoms included: confusion, disassociation, anxiety, chills, tingling in the face, increased depressed state, anxiety, agitation and aggression. Confusion of what to do with body parts and facial expression and increased heart rate were also noted. 
After 10 days psychiatrist discontinued all medications and started 100mg pristiq again.
2012- Same doctor halved tablet again to 50mg first week and recommended Valium to sleep at night. 
Withdrawal symptoms were same as previous. psychiatrist once again increased dosage back to 100mg after 2 weeks of adverse side effects.
2012-present. I am still on 100mg of Pristiq. I have seen multiple psychiatrists all of whom would not assist in discontinuing pristiq as they all believed I am suffering from ptsd and bpd and needed psychological help-which I have successfully been doing however still none will help with coming off the drug- I truly believe Pristiq is the underlying reason I cannot 'get 100% better' as my aggression increased severely when starting the drug.

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My heart is with you Cdav <3

 

I am in a similar boat and its like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

I truly believe I could be a wonderfully positive changing influence in this world- I want so badly to show compassion to this world in a creative way.

If only Pristiq would get out of my system and let me do so. 

I want to see the world but can't because what if I misplace my pills in the middle of bloody nowhere and am stuck in a cold turkey situation- I'd probably die- and thats not an exaggeration, I wouldn't cope. 

 

I am a creative writer but have not been able to write anything I deem worthy since being on Pristiq. A few hateful poems is all I have mustered. 

 

I wish you all the best with everything in your life. My relationship is on a 'break' because of who I became this last year- I hope both mine and your relationships work out to make everyone happy- I wish you nothing but happiness in this world- I can only imagine how much you need it right now.

 

xx

 

Thank you Pushingthroughket. I hate Pristiq, it's almost impossible to stop it, it clings to the brain so hard, it's just hell to withdraw from it. After Pristiq, everything fell apart for me, as I suffered through withdrawal and on top of that, the merry-go-round of countless meds that followed. Well, what's done is done. 

 

I really hope you can recover from this. 100 mg of Pristiq is a lot!  I completely identify with your aggression feelings. I was never an aggressive person until Pristiq ruined my brain. I became so easily irritated (while weaning Pristiq), I  punched my boyfriend, my dad, my brother, I  broke mirrors and things around the house, damaged my fists by hitting walls.  I was never like this before,  I was highly sensitive by nature, but serene and compassionate. The aggression is much less now, thankfully. 

 

I really hope you can free yourself from Pristiq as it is a horrible drug which can hold a person hostage forever. But it can be done, hope you find the right doctor who believes you and helps you. Wish you happiness and healing. 

 

Thank you for your kind words. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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Thanks Cdav xx

 

May I ask how you tapered from pristiq ? I am scared of the aggression coming back as I have quite good control over it at the moment (for the first time in ages) so obviously I am scared of it returning. But part of me is thinking I will get through it because I am going to taper slow and I have loads of things in place to help me stay positive. I have taken all the furniture out of the dining room and am turning into a room just for me- positive quotes all over the walls, yoga mats, meditation area, prayer flags, crystals placed, incense, exercise equipment, music. I am going to do a video diary everyday for myself to talk it all out to you all and for anyone else trying to taper.

 

I want the real me back, this has been like a fog in my brain- my emotions may not have always been pretty before, but at least they were MINE! I want ME back.

-3rd attempt at discontinuing Pristiq-

2011-Started 50mg Pristiq from gp.
After f/n no difference started 100mg. Aggression, depression and suicidal tendencies increased.
2011-first attempt at discontinuation of pristiq; Psychiatrist halved (cut in half) 100mg tablets (contrary to recommendations)to 50mg for first week, replacing with 20mg prozac and a low dosage tranquilizer (apologies I cannot remember the name) 
Withdrawal symptoms included: confusion, disassociation, anxiety, chills, tingling in the face, increased depressed state, anxiety, agitation and aggression. Confusion of what to do with body parts and facial expression and increased heart rate were also noted. 
After 10 days psychiatrist discontinued all medications and started 100mg pristiq again.
2012- Same doctor halved tablet again to 50mg first week and recommended Valium to sleep at night. 
Withdrawal symptoms were same as previous. psychiatrist once again increased dosage back to 100mg after 2 weeks of adverse side effects.
2012-present. I am still on 100mg of Pristiq. I have seen multiple psychiatrists all of whom would not assist in discontinuing pristiq as they all believed I am suffering from ptsd and bpd and needed psychological help-which I have successfully been doing however still none will help with coming off the drug- I truly believe Pristiq is the underlying reason I cannot 'get 100% better' as my aggression increased severely when starting the drug.

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Pushinthroughket, 

 

The reality is that my tapering was a living hell. I wouldn't go through it again if I had the choice. Or I would have gone much much slower. It took me a year which I thought was too long, now I realize it was a short time taking into account all the years I'd been on it.  I started cutting little slices off the 50 mg pill and stayed like that for a month, then I cut 1/4's , and so on. I suffered a lot. I had to do this alone, since the doctor I had back then wanted me to wean over a 3 week period, alternating doses. I knew better! Then I changed doctors and at the end of the tapering, he swithced me to prozac to make the "bridge". Still, a lot of suffering. I still wonder if I should've better stayed on the pills forever in order to avoid what I went through, and what followed (when doctor thought original condition was back and prescribed over 20 meds)

 

My advide to you is that you do this with the help of a doctor who aknowledges that withdrawal exists and it's specially hard with pristiq. Try to find one if you still haven't. And go extremely slowly. I would've rather tapered over a 3 year period, than have tapered over 1 year and then suffered 2 more years of protracted withdrawal. 

 

Maybe your case is different, and you will have it easier. But just be careful and reduce slowly. One is not supposed to cut the pills, but there is no other way. Once you feel good with a reduction for some weeks, then reduce again, if you start feeling the withdrawal symptoms don't try to tough it up. I wouldn't have if I had the chance again. 

 

Hope this helps, just be patient. And I'm glad the aggression is under control and you feel well prepared. It might take long, but it can be done. Keep us posted! 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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As you can see in my signature, I have been on tons of medications since I withdrew from Pristiq 3 years ago. 

 

As I was prescribed more and more medications, I became much more hypersensitive. Last time I was on an antidepressant was Prozac (From January-July of this year). I was on a 10 mg dose, I tapered and stopped it last July. I felt fine except for the horrible brain zaps, which bothered me but my mood was "okayish".

 

However, about two months ago anxiety and depression kicked in horribly, along with akathisia, twitching and explosive and constant brain zaps.  My doctor suggested trying 5 mg of Prozac again, I tried it but my body didn't tolerate it anymore, had horrible reaction.  Surprisingly brain zaps stopped during this 4 day trial with prozac. A week after stopping Prozac, brain zaps came back.

 

Well, I endured the brain zaps for two more months hoping they would diminish. But they didn't, they were getting worse along with increasing akathisia, aggression, suicidal thoughts (not wanting to live with my body doing all of these things anymore), etc… Dr. suggested 5 mg of citalopram last Monday. I was scared, but desperate to stop the brain zaps.  So after I took the 5 mgs, within hours, the brain zaps stopped! It was a relief. 

 

I was also on several natural supplements which the doctor told me to stop because he thought they were causing me to be much more irritable and unstable. These supplements were: Pregnenolone (which I only took for 3 days, prescribed by a naturopath), Omega 3 with Primrose Oil, Rhodiola 100 mg Sam-e 1,500 mg

 

He also took me off Lamictal (200 mg) and gave me 2mg of klonopin only for a week. Because Lamictal was not helping at all, only causing hair loss. 

 

I have mixed feelings about the changes in medication. I feel relieved that the brain zaps stopped, and the irritability and aggression also decreased a lot. I'm scared though about what to do next, and how I will taper from those 5 mg of citalopram (maybe I won't,  I never want to feel what I have felt again), and I'm a little scared about the Lamictal cold turkey (Had been taking it for 3 months) 

 

Well, in general, I feel better. But psychologically I feel traumatised and scared of meds and the loss of control over my brain and body's reactions. Anyway, after the brain zaps stopped with the 5 mg of citalopram, I suddendly realized I had been toughing it out more than was humanly possible. No wonder I was feeling suicidal. I don't feel great right now (still some akathisia and depression), but I feel 50% better, which is a blessing. 

 

What should I do next? Stay on the 5 mg citalopram forever? It's the only thing that suppresses the brain zaps (omega 3 doesn't work for me or anything else)  I'd appreciate your opinions. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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I just wanted to tell you that I really feel for you. I am on heaps of psych meds too and I can't imagine coming off all of them quickly. I'm really new but I wanted to say welcome anyway :)  and I'm sure some of the others that have been here for a lot longer than me can help you with some advice.

All medications::

Xanax (1995-96), Aropax (1995-96), Mellaril (1997-2000), Efexor (1997-2002), Seroquel (2000-now), Lithium Carbonate (2000-now), Avanza (2002-05), Epilim (2005), Seroquel-XR (2000-now), Zyprexa (2002-14), Raberprazole (2000-now prn), Crestor (2009-15), Gabapentin (2009-12), Lamictal (2010-now), Abilify (2011-now) Lyrica (2012-now), Diazepam (2010-now prn), Saphris (2014), Respiridone (2014), Chlorpromazine (2014) Neulatil (07/2016)

 

Current medications:

Lithium Carbonate 750mg; Seroquel-XR 600mg800mg 04/16, 600mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 200mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 500mg 04/16; Lamictal 250mg 200mg150mg 04/16; Lyrica 300mg; Abilify 20mg 30mg 11/15 Zoloft 25mg 04/16 ceased after a week due to severe suicidal thoughts; Seroquel 25mg prn; Diazepam 40mg CT Jan 2013, 5mg occasionally, (massive med changes in April 2016 due to a hospital admission).

 

SupplementsFish oil 4000mgMagnesium 100mg Niacinamide 1000mgSlippery Elm 800mg , B12 1000mcg, Zinc 50mg, B6 100mg, Vitamin D 2000IU, Calcium 1200mgP5P 100mg, Vitamin C 2000mg, Vitamin E 400IU

 

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Thank you very much calithebold :) 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi cdav,

I joined your new topic to your original introduction topic, its one intro thread per member, you may add to it as you wish as you progress in your recovery.  I'm glad you are feeling a little better.  I suggest you don't make any changes for now, give your nervous system a chance to settle down for several months.  Then when you are feeling better, you can make a decision about where to go from there.

 

You may experience waves of increased symptoms over the next few weeks as you adjust to the new drug, but as long as you continue to feel generally better, I suggest you stick with it and dont change anything.

 

Please would you update your signature with the recent changes. Are you still taking the Lyrica and Clonazepam?

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Petu, 

 

Thank you for joining my update to my original intro topic. I wasn't very aware of how the updates should be posted. But now I know :)

 

Yes, I think I'm going to stay with the 5 mg citalopram  for some months. I don't feel perfect, I don't expect to, because I'm still suffering some symptoms. Maybe it's still some withdrawal symptoms or the adaptation to the new drug like you said. Who knows. My nervous system is so messed up. 

 

Now I know better about supplements, and naturopath doctors, they are NOT good for me (at least not the ones who know nothing about withdrawal)

 

I still take Lyrica and Clonazepam. 

 

Most of my depression right now stems from my interrupted career plans (though I try to move forward and get things done on the days when I feel better), as well as my relationship with boyfriend which is not solid and great right now. I just realised (after reading the forums) my lack of sex drive was not due to anything else but the drugs and withdrawal. This is really hard, because I never ever want to have sex, I don't even feel attracted to any other good looking men, I don't even care about my vibrator (which used to be the only way to achieve orgasm when on antidepressants) In fact, sex stresses me out right now.  I always want to be with my boyfriend, I love him. But as soon as he wants to initiate sex I feel annoyed, completely unable to feel aroused. Sometimes i just feel like I have to have sex even if I don't enjoy it, just because I think it's unfair that he is faithful and loving and should at least be able to have sexual intimacy with me even if it's not as often as he would like to. I could declare myself asexual. And I've become an extremely jealous girlfriend. I'm jealous of his sexual past, I'm jealous of the sexual pleasure other women that have been with him felt, I'm jealous they were able to orgasm with him, and I can't. I know it sounds pathetic, but this torments me, it's a big issue. It's sad. I hope I recover from this. 

 

For now I'm glad brain zaps are gone. 

 

Thank you for reading. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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  • Administrator

The brain zaps are gone! Excellent.

 

Lyrica can also cause sexual numbing. Why are you taking it?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Yes, zaps are gone, thankfully!  

 

Lyrica was prescribed by doctor for twitching, nerve pain and burning sensations on arms, feet and head which were extremely bad on early withdrawal.  I no longer have the burning sensations, just the twitches and some nerve pain. Lyrica is not helping with this anymore, it does help anxiety a little bit. I'm afraid to stop it right now since I'm still recovering from all the merry-go-round of meds.  But maybe I should tell Dr. to help me taper it and see if sexual side effects improve. 

 

But what's bothering me right now SO MUCH!  is AKATHISIA is not getting better! I thought it would, with the citalopram. It's still pretty bad. Can't stop moving, crying, and kicking my legs, all day long. Any suggestions about how to lessen it? You know what a torture this is. It just doesn't stop. I don't think it'a side effect from the citalopram, because it was already getting worse since a month ago. I don't know if it's still part of protracted withdrawal. Klonopin has not helped. I don't want to take a higher dose. I've tried Akineton before for this, but makes me feel sick and weird. Right now Dr. says to take 10 mg of Propanolol. I'm afraid to, I don't want to add more meds again. But maybe I will if this akathisia continues. 

 

Today I'm very desperate and tearful. I keep telling my parents and boyfriend I wish I could be on an induced coma until the withdrawal ends. They are really worried and sad about my suffering. My dad's been making a lot of research about this. They now are understanding much more about what I'm going through. At least I have my family's support, and I am thankful for that.  

 

But, PLEASE! What has helped Akathisia for you? HELP! 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

Link to comment

Hi, 

 

A little update,

 

Had to reduce citalopram from 5 mg to 2.5 mg because it was making akathisia worse. Still taking care or the brain zaps, though. 

 

Doctor also put me on small dose of Akineton (Biperiden) for the akathisia. I refused at first, but akathisia is such a torture, I took a quarter of the pill and heavenly relief came to my body. 

 

I'm kind of glad that my doctor knows exactly was going on with me now. Even if he didn't at first (and caused so much damage). He sent me an article from a psychiatric university about antidepressant withdrawal and protracted withdrawal. I already knew this!,  But well at least he's doing his homework and recognising this is a problem that does happen even if it's not to the majority of people, or even if I'm his only patient that has gone through this. 

 

He has been very cautious with me. For example, today I came down with a cold, and stupidly went and took a cold medicine that brought more akathisia and anxiety. I called him crying and he told me that I shouldn't have taken that medication. He told me to please call him if I want to take any medication for anything else or any supplement, because everything can cause a reaction and unnecessary suffering in my hypersensitive nervous system. I have to check with him first. 

 

So, I'm feeling a little more hopeful and less alone. He tells me to be patient and to not focus on my symptoms too much or else I can create more anxiety an symptoms then feel worse. 

 

I've been so angry at this doctor for not noticing my problem at first, but all the other doctors I tried were clueless and denying my withdrawal syndrome.  Now he seems to know everything about this syndrome, my symptoms, etc and he seems focused on trying to help me feel better and eventually come off all the medication. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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  • Administrator

That is an unusually conscientious doctor. You might ask him to read our Tapering section. If he learns how to taper, perhaps we can put him on our list of doctors.

 

Good to hear Biperiden helped. Info here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biperiden

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi I was wondering if anyone can tell me something about Keppra anticonvulsant? I've been having myoclonic jerks (taking 75 mg lyrica for this) and akathisia (my doctor has been giving me biperiden for this, but it's making me very dizzy). 

 

So now he wants to try keppra for the akathisia and myoclonic jerks. I don't trust him now, I'm really scared of trying this. But I've been very agitated and deeply depressed and aggressive witth the akathisia and jerks and don't know if keppra could help. He wants to give me 250 mg. 

 

Has anyone found help with w/d with a small dosage of keppra? 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I've never heard of keppra so can't comment on that one, but straight away when I read your post I wondered

if a smaller dose of biperiden might be better? You said that you felt relief almost immediately which is brilliant,

and side effects are usually dose related so an even smaller dose might be helpful with less dizziness. I would

be very wary of switching drugs when your nervous system is unstable because it could make things worse.

 

I'm really pleased to see that your doctor is doing his homework, that is excellent news  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thank you mammaP, I'm going to try that. But for some reason, I've been on a very deep depression this last week. Since yesterday I can't eat or get out of bed at all, suicidal feelings, missing work. Horrible thoughts. And now Dr. wants to put me on a small dose of Elavil (amitriptyline). I haven't taken it. I just heard the words "you need an antidepressant" and instantly began to panic and cry. 

 

I really don't know what to do. Can't live with an antidepressant, can't live without one. This is a nightmare.  I thought my Dr. was understanding I can't add more chemicals to my already unstable nervous system. I don't know what to think or do. My mom says I should trust him. I don't. I don't trust medication, but this depression is extremely powerful, I can't even go out for a walk. 

 

Any suggestions? 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

Link to comment

So sorry you're experiencing this. IT is a nightmare..!

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Thank you for your sympathy Joannad. I hope you're doing well. I hope this nightmare stops soon, or at least be strong enough to withstand it. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Cdav,

I've been reading through your latest posts and I've noticed a similarity between your experience of cycling between extreme anxiety symptoms, like akathisia, and depression, and my own experience of protracted withdrawal.  I don't have any suggestions, but I can share what I've noticed about my own patterns and what I've learned.  Your situation may be different, but perhaps not.

 

My pattern of slow recovery from protracted withdrawal has been one of cycling between extreme anxious, hyper-aroused states of fight/flight, like akathisia, shaking/trembling, temperature fluctuations, cold sweats, panic, terror, dread etc and then brief periods where this will calm down and I seem to swing to the opposite end of the scale and become severely depressed, which I never experienced before starting on antidepressants.

 

My worst periods of depression have been caused when I've taken something to try and relieve the intense anxiety symptoms and its worked.  For me this has been inderal, and various supplements.  I would initially feel some relief from the anxiety, but then would be thrown into a depressed state where I couldn't get out of bed or off the couch and basically just stopped caring if I lived or died.  Of course this was frightening and I would soon be thrown back into anxiety again.

 

Slowly, over the months that I've been recovering, the anxiety type symptoms have reduced naturally in a kind of windows and waves pattern, like we talk about here, but even so, whenever I have noticed even a natural decrease in these symptoms, I would often feel something closer to depression rather than anything I would call normal.

 

I think that perhaps for some people, this is how the nervous system works to try and fix itself and get back to a normal balance.  Each change in one direction pushes it way beyond its mark, sending it off balance in the other direction and if the change has been caused by a drug or a supplement, then the change is more likely to be more extreme and cause an even more extreme imbalance in the opposite direction.

 

So often here, we read about supplements and small amounts of other drugs which initially 'help' reduce withdrawal symptoms, but then they go paradoxical in a sensitized nervous system.  I don't know this, but perhaps this is what has happened for you with Biperiden.  Maybe it has reduced the extreme anxiety symptoms, but now you have swung in the extreme opposite direction towards depression type symptoms.

 

If you take another drug to fix this, then you are just adding more and more drugs to fix problems which are being caused by the drugs in the first place.  Perhaps what MammaP suggested may help to reduce the depression, if you give it a little time on a lower dose of Biperiden, maybe it will still give you some relief, but not so much depression.

 

Its taken me a long time and much suffering to learn that there are no quick fixes for withdrawal symptoms, anything we do to try and make them go away faster usually ends up making things worse in one way or another.  But with time, slow, careful tapering, reducing stress and taking care of ourselves the best we can, the nervous system does recover.

 

If you are too sick to get up and go for a walk today, that's ok, perhaps you can do some light exercise in bed and look at some pictures of nature on your computer, maybe tomorrow you will feel slightly better and you can sit outside for a few minutes, next week you may be back to walking again.  Do what you can, without causing more stress.

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this, but you're not alone, there are many of us here going through it with you.  We will recover, its just going to take some time.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Administrator

Beautifully expressed, Petu.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Petu, first of all I have to thank you very much for taking the time to respond to my thread and shown such beautiful sympathy and attention towards what I'm going through. 

 

Yes, I definitely identify to what you say, swinging between extreme anxiety and agitation and deep depression. I did lower the biperiden dosage since yesterday, and today I was less depressed but I woke up with horrible morning anxiety and agitation. Still I managed to push myself through the anxiety and go do my job. I'm a singing teacher and go to my student's homes to give the lesson, so lately I've been cancelling many of my classes, which means losing money and feeling unproductive. That really frustrates me and makes me sad. But at least I have the flexibility to be my own boss. I wouldn't be able to have a job otherwise right now. 

 

It's just a cycling thing like you say. But it's really really scary and so painful for me at some moments. And the terrible thoughts of "If I'm going to be like this forever, I'd rather die now" come to my head. Most of the time it's bearable, but these past few weeks it's been really hard, lots of crying and despair. 

 

I guess I just have to accept what you say, there are no quick fixes, and just try to be strong, patient and optimistic. I feel like I'm losing so much and have nothing to fight for, but I know in my good moments (windows) my heart knows I want to live life for me and the people who love me and that there is so much I want to do and give. 

 

Still feel too weak to exercise. But I'll be trying your suggestions about walking a little bit without causing more stress. 

 

I just pray for patience and strength. Thank you for making me feel less alone. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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  • Administrator

You may have lowered the biperiden dosage too much at one time. How much did you decrease?

 

Could be you'll need to titrate biperiden to find just the right amount for you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Alostrata, yes, maybe I lowered the biperidem too much, I was very sedated and had a very dry mouth. I was taking 3 divided doses of 1.5 biperiden and now just one dose of 1.5. I use the biperiden for akathisia, but these past few days the akathisia has improved on its own I guess. I also link the akathisia and RLS to my monthly cycle. I've noticed these last two months akathisia and RLS get worse during PMS and during mensturation. In fact, all WD symptoms get WAY worse during this time of the month. 

 

What I'm experiencing right now, is not akathisia. I think it's anxiety and depression. It is almost unbearable in the morning when I wake up, and then improves a little bit during the day. I'm also going through a stomach infection since I traveled last weekend and ate something that damaged my stomach, causing diarrhoea and nausea. So maybe this is causing depression too. I don't lnow really, I just feel very sick, weak and sensitive to stress. 

 

I also had an incident with one of my singing students this week which set me off to feel even worse. I know this student is on psych meds (diagnosed as "bipolar"). I don't know what happened to her but she started calling me several times during the day because she was "receiving song ideas from heaven" and she wanted me to help her set the lyrics to music. She said many nonsensical things about me being so talented, but then she started criticising some of my songs which she has heard and telling me my  interpretation in my songs was "dead" and "robotic"  and then started to send me recordings of her version of my songs (telling me she sang with passion unlike me)… I took this very personally and was unable to cope with it. Today I received a call from my student's mother telling me she had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital because she was on a manic state. Since I'm struggling myself I didn't take her criticism and constant stalking very well or very objectively, neither could set the right boundaries. I'm no longer helping this girl with voice lessons or anything since it's not good for my health. I don't know what I will tell her when she comes out of the hospital, I feel very sorry for her. But I can't add this kind of stress to myself. 

 

Also my boyfriend hadn't wanted to see me this week because I kicked him last week during an akathisia episode. 

 

So I guess many things affected me this week. Hormones, cold, stomach flu, med dose changes, bipolar student, angry boyfriend…

 

I feel better right now. And have felt better today since my mom has been around helping me eat, and my boyfriend is not angry anymore. I just dread the morning anxiety and depression. It's physically painful. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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So, doctor insists that a very small dose of the tricyclic antidepressant Elavil (amitriptyline) could help me with WD symptoms: akathisia and WD induced depression and anxiety. 

 

I am very tempted to try that small dose. But I'm scared at the same time. I've been suffering a lot these past few weeks with the akathisia, depression and anxiety which make me feel extremely suicidal. 

 

I already "stabilized" with 2.5 mg of citalopram which thankfully eliminated my brain zaps. So this makes me think that maybe that small dose of  Elavil could help with the problems I just mentioned. But I don't know if this could make me go backwards, cause an adverse reaction or just interrupt my healing process. 

 

I also remember reading Dr. Healy's paper "Halting Antidepressants" and he recommends some medications to help with WD symptoms such as tardive dysthymia. he writes "A second option is to turn to an antihistamine, such as chlorpheniramine, or to a tricyclic antidepressant, such as dosulepin or imipramine…" 

 

So… I don't know what to do. Still have to decide. I have so many things to do, so many interrupted goals and projects, that if this could alleviate my symptoms even just a little bit, I would try it, but maybe, like I've read on so many threads "there is no magic bullet" for this and probably my body will reject it anyway. 

 

Has anyone used a small dose of a tricyclic antidepressant to help WD from SSRI's or SNRI's? and then tapered that down? Has it been helpful? 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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So, I'm giving the Elavil a try to see if withdrawal depression/anxiety lessens. I started 4 days ago with 12.5 mg for 3 days and yesterday took the whole 25 mg pill.

 

I'm feeling really scared while taking this pill, 'cause I've been through this before with many other meds, to no avail. And I feel I might be hurting my nervous system even more. But the doctor tells me to stick to it for more days, as it supposedly will help cover the brain zaps, akathisia, depression and anxiety. And he says this is a very low dose, since the "antidepressant" dose really starts at 150 mgs. 

 

I haven't had akathisia nor brain zaps. But depression is still there, especially in the morning. And the whole dose of Elavil has me feeling really sleepy and groggy, and worried, very very worried. Not knowing if this will help or worsen everything. 

 

This is a really difficult and confusing situation. At least venting this here helps a little bit. Will I ever survive antidepressants? 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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Hello Cdav,

I hope you are doing well.

I'm glad the elavil is helping your akathesia.

I'm praying for you.

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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Thank you so much Tgirl, your words are really kind and comforting. 

-Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months.  

-Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. 

-Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. 

- (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. 

- Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. 

-January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. 

-February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started.

-March 2015:  Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. 

-July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. 

-September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. 

-March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. 

-August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. 

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How are you doing now?

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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