Pushinthroughket-3rd attempt off pristiq

[Pushinthroughket]

Hi all, Bit of a long read- thanks if you read til the end-

Where to start, part of me wants to cry just beginning. I wont as I am trying very hard to be positive these days. I am about to attempt to come off Pristiq (the devil drug) for the third time in 3.5 years. I have a long complex mental health history and apparently suffer from Post traumatic stress disorder and borderline personality disorder- I am 23 and have had underlying depression from these things since approximately 5 years old. Although having these diagnoses', I never wanted to try anti depressants. In 2011, however, I was taken to the gp after being told I was causing too much heartache on my then partner. The Gp put me on 50mg of pristiq and after 2 weeks of no change (duh I have a mental past and need psychology not pills) I was then put on 100mg of Pristiq. 

Since then I have attempted to come off pristiq by halving the dosage then halving the 50mg dose and taking prozac and a low dose tranquilizer- experienced severe side effects- anxiety, confusion of both mind and body, aggression, headaches, dizziness,sweats, nausea, numbness of the face (left side in particular,) increased depression and the feeling of the room moving in and out.

After this I went back to 100mg then tried a few months later to taper (50mg for first week again) substituting the prozac and tranq for valium at night thereafter, however after 2 weeks the same adverse reactions was put back to 100mg.

Since then I have tried multiple other psychiatrists asking to discontinue Pristiq, however none were willing to do so, all of which told me I needed to be more 'mentally stable' before coming off the meds.

Last year I experienced an incident which turned me back into a child and I have had to rebuild my entire life in one year-however the depression, anxiety, extreme aggression and agitation plus an included physical disability (now finally gone) has meant I have lost my job, my study plans, my animals wont come near me when I start to tear up as they are now scared of me (which is devastating for me as I was studying vet nursing and animal law) and finally, two days ago my partner of 2 years asked for a break, told me she has kissed someone else a few months ago and isn't sure if she can be with me anymore after how I made her feel through my aggression- I honestly believe the pristiq increased my anger levels. I have towered over my poor partner while she has been crying in a ball, SCREAMING at her telling her everything thats wrong with her and the whole world. And some I don't even remember. I spent an entire year tearing her down into nothing! I still love my partner(although an hurting about her kiss with someone else- she was going through a hard time, I was being so depressed I was entirely focused on myself- I actually said the words, I'm the one with depression, you're not allowed to cry)

Thats not who I am- I truly believe its the damn pristiq ! I am a kind hearted girl who wants to change and save the world from all injustices, I try to live a life of compassion never cruelty- and I turned into a monster- I turned into who hurt me-

I have had enough of this drug-I am finally living a life of positive thinking but this drug is underlying and if I don't take it at the same time every day I get dizzy, confused and cannot feel parts of my face (generally the left side.)

After a recent recommendation I though I was going to get admitted to hospital to come off the drug, however I found out today this is not possible. So while my partner and I need time and space, I am in a relatively good frame of mine, I think its the time to come off the awful Pristiq!

 

After reading everyone's topics on this forum I am so scared at how long it is going to take ! My heart is racing thinking about it.

Sorry for the long intro I am lost and scared but staying hopeful regardless. I want the real me back

[Pushinthroughket]

Those who have successfully come off pristiq, how long did it take for various side effects to discontinue?

Thanks 

[Petunia]

Welcome pushinthroughket, I'm sorry to hear about everything you are going through, thank you for sharing your story and for filling in your signature, it helps us understand your situation.

 

Many antidepressants, including pristiq have been known to cause an increase in aggressive behaviour, irritability or agitation.  So its not surprising they've had an impact on the way you have been treating your partner.

 

But you have been tapering too fast.  We suggest reducing by no more than 10% of the current dose every 4 weeks, this reduces the risk of withdrawal symptoms arising.  Please read through this post which will explain why:

 

http://survivinganti...0-of-my-dosage/

 

Here is our link for tips related to tapering off Pristiq:

 

Tips for tapering off Pristiq (desvenlafaxine)
http://survivinganti...desvenlafaxine/

 

I'm sure you will have more success coming off this drug if you follow the 10% method we recommend.  If you are feeling well at the moment, with no symptoms, you could begin tapering by yourself, if you went to a hospital, or clinic, they would take you off too fast and possibly add more drugs, which only cause more problems in the long run.

 

From our experience with thousands of people, the best way to come off these drugs safely, with the least amount of symptoms is via the 10% method.  By doing it slowly and carefully, you also have a better chance of having no symptoms returning after you are completely off the drug, so its less likely you will be put back on.

 

Here is a link to a success story by our member Mogfish, who successfully tapered off pristiq:

Mogfish: successful taper directly off Pristiq using cutting up method 

 

 

You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want, I'm glad you found us.

 

Please stay in touch and let us know what you decide.

 

Petu.

[Pushinthroughket]

Thank you so much Petu

 

I agree with you, I have been tapering way too fast- I'm not going to lie, a massive part of my brain says just ride it out with the withdrawal symptoms because I just want it out of my system asap- but then my logical side kicks in reminding me that in the long run I may have withdrawal symptoms longer because of that very reason- I have to keep reminding myself that the more time I take to reduce the pill the less symptoms I will feel. 

 

And thanks for the links, funnily enough, they are already open in tabs on my laptop  

 

I will read through again anyway. My other concern is the concentration whilst coming off pristiq- I want to stay busy, feed my brain with knowledge and start preparing my life for when I am off this horrid drug. I am just scared I wont be able to concentrate on these things- I suppose I will read through the links one more time and look around, I thank goodness am on a pension until February so don't have to study or work until then but I still wanted to do night classes or something in the meantime- I am wondering if many people can successfully concentrate around a learning environment whilst tapering. 

 

I am reading and reading and reading though so I am sure I will find someone who has been able to push through 'normal' life. 

[mogfish]

Hi PT! and thank you for your lovely words on my success story. please don't be disheartened by the length of time that it takes many people to come off their antidepressants. believe me, after many attempts to come off myself from these horrible drugs, I can tell you that the slow and steady taper is the best way to go.

I tried so many times to come off quickly following Doctors recommendations and failed every time but as you know have been very successful with the slow taper method. 

Whilst on antidepressant and at times whilst tapering I too suffered from bouts of anger ( pure rage actually) anxiety ( which I never ever had prior to antidepressant treatment, sweating, depression, high blood pressure etc etc etc….. I was however able to continue working throughout the process however I am lucky in that I am a Nurse and my work is regular but casual so if i was feeling particularly crappy then I was able to have a few days to give my body and mind a rest. 

 

Concentration was an issue for me at times and would often find myself walking into a room with absolutely no idea why I had come in or what I was looking for and my memory was pretty bad at times too. From all the research i did ( much of it from this site…actually pretty much all of it ) I knew that this was part of the process so I put in place coping mechanisms and i would leave out little notes or set alarms etc. I never worked more than 3 days and very, very  occasionally 4 days in a row so that my mind and body could switch off to a point and have a break. I did find and at times still do that I have a very low tolerance for stress although this is certainly improving the longer I am antidepressant free. 

Something else I did was to have a good long break from tapering at the half way mark so I could let my nervous system have a good rest from the tapering process.

 

Try not to think to much about how long it is going to take as weaning off antidepressant is by no means a race although  i completely understand how much you must want off the drug but believe me, the fact that I tapered slowly IS the reason why I am doing so well now.

 

Don't be disheartened when you have a bad patch during your taper and it is most likely that you will experience bad patches but it is all part of the process and it does get better. I PROMISE YOU

 

Are you aware that you have access to mental health care plans in Australia? You do need to get this through your GP ( I don't recommend telling them you are tapering though) but a care plan entitles you to up to 12 free or heavily subsidised visits with a psychologist per year. Just as you said, you need counselling to deal with your traumas not drugs to mask or even  "worsen" your symptoms. Post traumatic stress is very real and the underlying issues need to be worked through with an understanding councillor who can give you strategies to deal with your hurt. As for the personality disorder diagnosis…Personally I believe that is a term the mental health profession came up with when a young person doesn't fit into a text book diagnosis. I had it thrown at me at one stage too shortly after I attempted suicide after being pulled off an antidepressant cold turkey!! Hmmmmm….. My friends and family  reckon I've got a pretty ace personality so don't get too caught up in labels and diagnoses.

 

antidepressants seem to be very in vogue these past few years and it seems everyone who has had a bad day will be offered antidepressants by a well meaning Doctor who doesn't really understand the potential harm these drugs can cause…….remember thalidomide????

 

I Wish you all the best PT and will check in on your progress and will be cheering for you ….and please feel free to ask me any questions

[Rhiannon]

Hi!

 

So many people--everyone, really--want to come off these meds fast, and of course who wouldn't? But you know now from your own experience that "coming off fast" means "not actually getting off at all" as well as "flushing your life down the toilet" (I speak as one who has done exactly that, a couple of times, in my own past, before I finally learned how to taper successfully).

 

Here are a couple of things to think about that might help.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6447-best-of-sa/?p=91582

and

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6447-best-of-sa/?p=89902

 

Pristiq is probably the trickiest med to taper because of how it's made, but people have found ways to work around it. Read through that thread on tapering Pristiq. Take your time. You can get yourself back and rebuild your life, but it's going to be a long-term project. (And well worth it.)

 

Welcome to our little clubhouse.

[Pushinthroughket]

I am just so scared. 

I am going to take the dining room apart and turn it into a meditation/exercise room - my own personal space. 

 

Thanks for all the advice I truly appreciate it.

 

I am aware of the mental health plan- when I am better I am bringing out government down with our freaking mental health plan- over 20 years of trauma and they think 12 sessions with one councilor will work? !! I used my 12 up a while ago unfortunately. I had been seeing the same psych all year however a few months ago I tried to take my life in her office and the owner of her offices said I was no longer allowed near the premises- so I start a new psych this wednesday, she is meant to be amazing so I am looking forward to it - The main problem I am facing with the dr is getting a 50mg script to be honest- none of them want me to taper so I am on a list for a new psychiatrist who will-

you're all right I just want this out of me I want my life back. The 'break' between my partner and I is kicking in too, I know its a perfect time to come off drug but I am scared when my partner does see me tapering if we are to catch up for some reason, then she will see a rage outburst- and those outburst are why she has asked for the break- 

 

 

May I ask Mogfish, how was your rational thinking whilst tapering ? I am petrified of being irrational and having a rage outburst. I will do everything possible with distractions and I suppose I just need a daily plan. God I am so so scared. But I feel positive about being off pristiq- I get the waves of being scared of depression or anxiety kicking back in but then I get a wave of positive thinking reminding myself that I have been through so much, I am still alive, I have a good heart with wonderfully kind intentions and I have a strong enough brain to live a positive happy life without antidepressants. 

From what I see, they just seem this quick fix- 

Do you think its possible to have had trauma and live a medication free life ? My positive side says it is because of who I am- then of course the scared side is there too. I am so very young and so very scared- yet I feel like I have lived for over 50 years- 

 

Like my name I guess I will just keep pushin'through!

 

Thanks all so much I am crying but they are both sad and happy tears. With love and support xxx

[Pushinthroughket]

I get that other scared voice saying just stay on them and come off them later but then I remember all the things I cannot do whilst on these drugs- 

I remember the rage whilst on it - then I think about the rage coming off- then I think well if my positive mind is controlling the rage now (of late have not had a rage outburst or blackout in 2 weeks, nor felt like it-very proud) then it should be able to control it whilst tapering - then I think if I can control it lately do i really need to come off the meds- then I remember once again all the things I cannot do whilst on them- like travel or even have some days without nausea or face tingling -

The plan has always been to go to this elephant nature sanctuary in Cambodia to volunteer for a few weeks and I wont be able to do that whilst on these meds, what if I misplace them or get awful nausea or anything really.

 

 

So much confusion as you can all probably tell- Thanks so much for this site just getting my fears out and knowing I am not alone is such a relief in itself xx 

[Pushinthroughket]

Oh sorry talky mc talk talk here- Mogfish, how were your dreams on and off pristiq ? 

[chezza]

Hi! My husband was started on antidepressants 7 years ago for one panic attack. He became addicted and his behavior changed so drastically. His last one was pristiq. These drugs turned my loving and caring partner into a monster who gambled out of control. had no remorse or emotions and became aggressive and nasty. His whole personality did a 360 degree turn. It took me years to work out what it was that caused it and more years of trying to get him to try to come off. Over the last 5 months I helped him taper slowly by cutting the tablet into halves for a few months and then quarters then half of a quarter. His behavior while on the lowest dose was getting close to normal and he was two weeks free and things were good. Yes he had some withdrawals but slowly was the way to go. Previously tried too quick and he became worse. This last week his old ways have come back where I don't exist in his world and he just doesn't care about me and he is nasty and aggressive. I think he has gone and gotten another script and has hidden it. He has done that once before. My life was happy before these awful drugs and we had a good relationship. What I have been put through with my husband on these meds is a nightmare that even I can't believe let alone anyone else. I say well done to you for making your decision and being able to see what pristiq did to you. Getting off isn't easy but staying on can ruin your life. I never took the drug but I am a shell of the person I used to be. Mentally and physically I am drained from all the hurtful things that have gone on. I feel like I have been in  battle with something evil. I kept hanging in there because I still remember my husband how he used to be. Stay strong and get other help if you need it. My husband never would because he thought there was nothing wrong with him and the rest of us were crazy. I wish you the very best and it can be done.

[Altostrata]

Hello, chezza. Please start an Introductions topic for yourself and your husband. You may also wish to participate in our Family and friends forum.

[Pushinthroughket]

Oh Chezza <3 

My heart is with you and every bit of positive energy I can send to WA is on its way <3

I am so sorry you have had to go through this and you're not even the one taking the drug. And even seeing the above makes me think, That's why part of me doesn't blame my partner for kissing someone else. She was so lonely and I was so aggressive - Its doesn't justify it but after the evil monster that drug has turned me into who can bloody blame her you know. 

 

God I am so sorry for what it has done to you- every morning when you wake up, tell yourself how beautiful and strong you are for your supportive nature and devotion. From someone on the drug taking end, not knowing who you are anymore, I thank you for being so brave with us while we are like this- Just keep reminding yourself what a wonderful person you are. 

 

Thank you for your encouragement. I have just had word that my grandmother has a brain tumor so I am off to say my goodbyes and take care of family so my tapering will now be starting in about 3 weeks not one week- but thats just more time to prepare.

 

All the best everyone xx

[Pushinthroughket]

I have decided, when I do start tapering, I am going to make a video diary every day- This is going to help me talk out how I am feeling but I am doing it for anyone else stuck in this situation and wants a look at the reality of it- I don't know how it will go, nor will the next person who tries to taper, but maybe this will help them.

[mogfish]

Hi PT!

 

Funny you should ask about my dreams. I have had night terrors on and off for years and years. I don't remember if I had them before the anti depressants but I have certainly had them since. I have had a couple since being off the pristiq but haven't had any that I can recall in the last few months so perhaps they were exacerbated by antidepressant use. 

 

My rational thinking was not the best in the early stages of my taper and again towards the very end but please be reassured that now I am Pristiq free I am a much calmer and rational person although like everyone I still have my moments( usually around the same time every month)  

[Pushinthroughket]

Thats a wonderful thing to hear !!! 

I have night terrors, awful nightmares and reoccurring dreams and in the morning it extremely hard for me to adjust to 'normal life' immediately because my dreams are always so real and repetitive- I have always had full on dreams but nothing like how they have been since being on pristiq- One nightmare was so real and felt like I was there so much that I woke up a vegetarian in the morning - have never looked back, when I do I think of anything meat related I instantly think of the dream I had- its like a flashback that never even happened !   

But like I said, they only started to be that full on and quite frankly F****d up since being on the pristiq ! 

 

I feel really positive about coming off it !!!!! hard times or not I want the real me back

[Fuzzylogic]

Hi PT

 

So sorry you are struggling so much. I wish I had never put on grain of this horrid drug past my lips.

I have been on pristiq for 2 years, tapering the last 2 1/2 months. I am going too fast, but scared that I will run out my script before I can successfully taper. My dr refuses to give me another script says I should try another AD as thinks I need to be on one. All I want to do is taper slowly and safely not start on another drug I have to taper off later. After agreeing to me cutting she has now told me I am releasing too much into my system at once. This after I had been doing ok with cutting.

I have been 'fortunate' in that I was not aggressive, just totally unemotional - used to cry if movie sad, but dry eyed on pristiq. I have recent messed with my taper and I'm paying for it. I can't really give you much advise I can only say to take it slow and believe in yourself.

Take care Fuzzy

[yima]

Hey!

I read the your post (fully, where is my cookie??? hehehe), I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Please read this: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/876-tips-for-tapering-off-pristiq-desvenlafaxine/

I don't know if it was recommended already, didn't read further down the thread.

BUT... my experience should surely give you hope!

I was VERY scared to get off Pristiq. Used 100 mgs for about 2 years, then, went from 100 to 50 mgs (ouch!), tolerated that PRETTY GOOD.

But everytime I tried to take 50 mgs further and further away, I went mad with anger, anxiety, the whole world looked grey and terrible, etc etc etc.

 

After reading the post I copied, I convinced my psy doctor to try using the capsules.

I'm not going to say it was easy, but it's completely doable!

 

I went from 50 mgs to 12 mgs (now) in 2 and a half months.

Still have some way to go and will likely experience negative effects for a few more months afterwards, but I know it can be done and IT'S WORTH IT.

 

I'm not going to lie and say that all is perfect, but it's MUCH better now that I'm much more sober.

I can think much clearer and I'm sure I will even be even better there once I quit this.

 

Best of luck!

[Fuzzylogic]

Hi PT

How are you doing?

Fuzzy