calithebold: Right at the beginning

[calithebold]

Thanks Jan, I still have the burning sensation on my skin and someone last night told me my skin was getting a tan on it. This through where my shirt covered my arm, it's uncomfortable and my forehead skin is burning too and I was wearing hat. This has to be from the chlorpromazine but I just don't know what to do. Especially if I am already putting on suncream and wearing a hat. Even my feet feel burnt. If I have only been on chlorpromazine for four weeks, is there any chance is could be reduced at all? Does anyone know? And the tanning where my shoes aren't, is very prominent and I can tell it's gotten darker.

 

I've settled a bit with the G20. I did some thinking about my disaster thinking and realised that I am about four blocks up from where Melbourne st is where the cultural centre is, so it's unlikely that they will spill up this far and there are copings like ants everywhere and I am worried about them too. Luckily it's raining today, ha ha! D promised to stay away from Melbourne St and I think the reality of the situation has finally made him realise what could happen and how I feel. I am officially in lock-down, so now I won't leave my place until 17 November when everything goes back to normal. I have D's place next door and the library upstairs and pay TV on a massive TV in a room next to the library. There is also a pool table. This is on level 13, so if I feel housebound, I can do those things. Distraction techniques if you try at them, usually work. Awesomeness!

 

My darling cat woke me up at 4am this morning. She's been doing it in a sneaky way over the last four mornings because I didn't think it was her, but then I realised this morning that it was and so she spent an hour in the bathroom while I finished sleeping (not just a toilet for those thinking she is in some tiny little space). Little ratbag. I'm going to follow Dr Megan's advice, her vet, and feed her later than I have been to make her go, gee I have a long way to wait, you know the rest.

 

I will look up EFT, thanks for that. Thanks too about the magnesium, I wasn't sure about that. I don't have it yet but I'm hoping today or Monday. I've tried fish oil, but only the cheaper stuff from the chemist. I didn't notice the difference. I was though very drugged up at that time, so I really couldn't say for sure. I used and odorless one.

 

As to how I feel besides the burning skin, good. Just a bit tired and finding very hard to concentrate on reading, which kinda sucks. I also have lovely headache today too. I haven't taken any PRN seroquel, just the 100mg at lunch time and I have been fine. I'm sleeping all the way though until I get woken up. I think that will stop again. Oh and my vision is blurry today which might be why I have a headache. I hope I can read some today, even my novel if I can't my other books "Your Drug May Be Your Problem" Breggin and "Anatomy of and Epidemic" Whitaker. I guess I'll taken it hour by hour, min by min or even second by second. If I have an 'emotion', it's only an emotion, it can't stay at the high levels forever, it will come down and I will feel better for a time.  I'm hanging onto that.

[calithebold]

OMG my skin is burning eveywhere. I don't know what to do

[calithebold]

My pdoc wants me to just stop the largactil/chlorpromazine of which I am on 100mg. I think that's too fast, can anyone help me with this?

[Altostrata]

From adverse effects of chlorpromazine http://www.drugs.com/pro/chlorpromazine.html
 

Allergic Reactions of a mild urticarial type or photosensitivity are seen. Avoid undue exposure to sun. More severe reactions, including exfoliative dermatitis, have been reported occasionally.

 

If I were you, to go off after only a month, I might try a 25% decrease at first. You might tell your psychiatrist you feel more secure doing it gradually.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[calithebold]

Thanks Altostrata! I did what you suggested last night and did a 25% cut of my chlorpromazine and the only thing I've noticed is sleeplessness so far (before I went on this drug, I hardly slept past 1am, so not surprised that is happening already). It's only 4am and I've been awake but in bed since 1am when my cat woke me up again and I couldn't go back to sleep after deposited her in bathroom. I still have the burning skin though and some dark patches of skin on my face where some pigmentation has been for years, it's just darker overnight. I'm terrified of skin cancer from living in a very hot state of Australia. We are expecting 39+ (102.2F) Sunday I had to go out in the end yesterday with D because he forgot to do something for me, so now I'm paranoid that I can't go out. Have no idea what to do about the damn chlorpromazine. I know slow and steady wins the race but I don't know if I can tolerate what is happening to me with the side effects. What do you guys think? Do you think I could just get off of it tonight and just hope for the best since I've only been on it a month or hold? I am more worried about what is happening to me on it.

[calithebold]

No withdrawals so far . Plus in a happy mood .

[calithebold]

I know it's not advisable but I think I am going to go off of chlorpromazine. I can't stand the adverse side effects. I think I can do it. I'm so used to just going off of meds when my doctor tells me to and I think (I hope) it will be okay and I've only been on it for four weeks. Fingers crossed.

 

I'm really sorry if I talk to much.

[JanCarol]

You're not nearly as windy as I am!  I blabber about everything, because I can't untangle iatrogenic from withdrawal from stress from trauma from . . . . .

 

G20 is not a good time to go off the chlorpromazine.  Hey, you're not going outside for a week anyway.  compromise and go to half?

 

Lub.

[calithebold]

I have to start going out on Monday 17th, so I think I will do half tonight and depending how I feel do 75% tomorrow and then fully on 16th. I am burning all over, pretty horrible. No WD as of yet

[calithebold]

I still have not had any WD. I am really happy about that. I was expecting something, I don know what though. I had the most painful shower. The water was on a tepid temperature but it still felt horrible. My back is still burning. I've never had anything like this before, I wouldn't even have thought of something like this. I think I'd rather the WD than the burning

[calithebold]

Spoke to soon   about half an hour ago I started to feel a little down and had the strong urge to take a PRN dose of seroquel, which is how I used to deal with things before. I also started to feel a little dizzy. Now I don't know what to do. The burning is horrible, I can barely stand it. The WD symptoms are manageable. Can anyone advise me of what to do? I was going to do a 50% cut tonight and I really am scared of what will happen to me if I don't taper it a bit faster and since it's only been four weeks. I am not going to do this the wrong way. If I am going to make these changes, then I have to do it right.

[calithebold]

Woke up from a nap a while ago now and WD had gone. Feel much better. I've been waiting for them to come back but they haven't. Weird. Still have the burning though. I am going to do a 50% cut tonight and then hold as Jan was right. I often do this. I can be very impulsive. I will deal with Monday on Monday. Better for me to 'try' and see how I go. Like everyone has said here slow and steady wins the race.

[calithebold]

It took me several hours to get to sleep last night. I was thankful that when I did sleep, it was quality sleep and I slept all the way until dawn, when I normally get up. Wouldn't it be nice if in the middle/tail end of this I could sleep until 7am. That would be awesome. Anyway, this morning the only withdrawals I have is some slight dizziness and a headache. I expect it to get worse as the day goes on, but hopefully not. Maybe I'll be surprised.

 

I am so proud of myself. Normally I would have given in to either taking some seroquel to cope with either the 'emotion' from last night or (I was staying at D's place last night) giving up when I couldn't sleep and going next door home. I did neither, I didn't take seroquel, I just endured the feelings and I just gave myself time to sleep. I think the other problem was that I was on my feet a lot yesterday and my legs were really sore so I did take some paracetamol, which is what helped by stopping my legs from hurting and I dropped off to sleep really fast after that.

 

Emotionally I am feeling great. I will just ride the day out see how I feel, but I'm holding now. I want to see what happens.  I cancelled my appointment with my psychologist on Monday because I would have been wandering around it the midday heat. I don't want to do that with this burning. Yes, it's still there. I am tolerating it at the moment but it's just uncomfortable. If poor D puts his hand on me, it's feels awful, poor guy. My cat didn't wake us up last night. She came with me when I went to D's place. She really likes it there. I can't imagine life without her now, I am so lucky to have both D and kitty. I must remind myself of all this when I have more WD which I am sure are going to come soon. I can do this .

[calithebold]

I went and spoke to my pharmacist and she told me to get off of chlorpromazine now as she was very concerned it may be toxic for me to stay on it anymore and she was very worried about me and she told me it could be life threatening. All different info . I'm so confused!

[calithebold]

Just so everyone knows, I haven't had any WD since this morning when I was a bit dizzy and had a headache, but both have since past earlier today. I have been feeling really good, been crocheting and watching stuff on TV, good concentration, been able to read too. I still have the burning skin, but I wasn't expecting that to change after I had it this morning. I fell asleep for a while and feel better for it .

[calithebold]

Okay, so because I wasn't sure what to do with the chlorpromazine/largactil/thorazine for last night, I ended up following the pharmacists advice. I went off of it, I slept pretty well, no WD so far in the morning. I didn't see any more since early yesterday morning when I was a little dizzy for a couple of hours and had a headache that went away with paracetamol.

 

I still have a little of the hypersensitivity of my skin, it's not as bad. When I run my hand up my arm now I can still feel where my hand has been with the hair follicles it feels like are standing on end a bit (this is how it feels) but no burning or stinging. THANK YOU! I am so relieved it's settling. Now my concentration has to be on holding until sometime in January. I was going to go the 6th but I think that is too early now.

 

Oh, yes, the other side effects I was getting that I thought were from the olanzapine have gone. I am feeling awesome. I know some could still come on, which is why I want to hold now. One awesome thing, I picked up my old camera yesterday and I managed to get a couple of really steady shots on a slow shutter speed, meaning, I think that some of my shakes have gone a little. D says my skin looks better and I look more brighter. I'm feeling so good but not in a too good way, if you know what I mean! I just feel really happy. I'm going to go with it. Sending some happiness to all of you out there who are struggling. I hope you get even a moment of peace with it .

[calithebold]

Spoke too soon. Now I'm sick

[calithebold]

I know I had to go off of chlorpromazine quickly with the health alert but geez, do they always have to come with making you feel crappy. At first I had no WD and then all of a sudden I did. Headache, dizziness, nausea and the damned hypersensitive burning skin got a little stronger. Then to top that off about half an hour ago I started to feel really depressed. This was then turned into the strongest urge to take extra seroquel to dull the ache (I didn't) and a healthy dose of fear. This is what I am facing but probably worse. That scares the crap out of me, that I could feel like this on and off for the next five or so years. What did they do to me? This changed to anger. How I could I end up in this way where I have to fight my way out of bloody endless WD. Ugh! I could cry. I probably should cry. Note to self - step one, get a journal and start writing and remember, one step at a time.

[calithebold]

I made it through a pretty horrid day, mainly due to the heat and the different sensations my body was experiencing and later on some pain like nothing I've felt in a while. It was around 38 degrees Celsius and I left my flat at one point to go next door to D's place and this wall of heat hit us both in the corridor. It was unbelievable. When I went home, I got in contact with an after hours GP because I knew that my muscle spasms in my neck where at the worst they had ever been in a long time and I couldn't bear it and I had nothing for it. I don't keep valium anymore and he was going to give me an injection of some but he didn't have any either. So he just stayed long enough to wake me up out of my first sleep I had after taking my night meds and then left again because he couldn't give me anything because everything he had had drug interactions with what I was already taking. So then it took about an hour to get back to sleep. My cat decided to help matters (not) by sleeping sideways next to me all night, so it was hot and it was cramped.

 

As for the WD it looks like they may have, hopefully, passed for now. I have been awake for an hour and have no nausea, dizziness or headache (bar the one related to my neck pain), though in saying that there is still plenty of time for that . I also haven't got any burning skin, but again, this happened yesterday too. I reported that had neither and then they all started again. I'm not going to bet that it won't happen but I'm going to try and stay positive today anyway.

[tgirl]

How are you doing now?

[calithebold]

Hi tgirl, thanks for asking. My skin has started to burn a little again, but I was in the sun this morning for a brief time. My scalp even hurts and I was wearing a hat. I feel okay nausea wise and I still have my headache, no dizziness at the moment. I managed to fall into a deep sleep earlier this morning and it took nearly a bomb to wake me up, but I did and feel a little better for it. Sounds like you have been through a rough time too, hope you are okay!

[calithebold]

I can't go anywhere at the moment. It seems that way anyway as if I go in the sun at all, i spend a good time after when I get home with burning skin, like I did when my skin was burning all the time. I wear sun cream and a hat but it's really bad anyway and it doesn't seem to matter. I have to see Dr K tomorrow at 2pm, which means leaving at about 1pm and walking thorough the parklands near me in the sun... great! I had my last dose of chlorpromazine on three days ago, I had hoped it wouldn't affect me 'burning wise' still. I am so worried about this problem   luckily my other WD symptoms are much lessened, just physical pain symptoms are bad too

[calithebold]

I feel so much better this morning, don't I say that every morning? I haven't had a headache this time and no dizziness. It's raining today so thankfully no sun, that would be awesome as I won't get that burning on my skin. I'm feel really positive and happy today too. I hope, fingers crossed, that this is the end. How lucky would I be!!!

 

I am waiting to find out when I go back to DBT to deal with the emotions behind all these drugs. I have done really well so far in holding off on the seroquel cravings. I did take one two nights ago when that GP woke me up only to tell me he couldn't help me, which left me wide awake after my initial sleep from my medication. I lay there and lay there and in the end said to myself "this is ridiculous, you need to sleep". I am hoping my magnesium comes today. It should, it's been a while since I ordered it. Not much else to say. I am seeing Dr K today so I may have something to say after that. I can tell her at least that you do get WD from chlorpromazine .

[calithebold]

Skin now stinging again

[calithebold]

I saw Dr K yesterday and she was really happy with how things are going, though she was very worried about the skin burning thing that happens to me now only if I go in the sun (or if I try to use my skin scrubby thing in the shower). She turned to me and said "you are really sensitive aren't you", which I nodded. I always have known that I was. I told her about the WD and she wrote all the symptoms down.

 

One thing she did say, is something I worry about too, is that what happens if the puff goes out of me, in other words, what happens if I get an 'emotion' I can't deal with and suddenly give up. I have a terrible habit of being impulsive and starting something and then just giving it away. That's why I desperately need to be back in DBT and practicing with the help of the psychologist and other members of the group, how to deal with some of this stuff that will come up. How do you keep going? I know the end is incentive enough for most, but what if you're like me and you give up on everything you do?

 

This year has been good. I am studying at the moment BA in Professional Writing and Publishing and I've stuck with it now since the beginning of the year. I finished study period 1 and I am almost finished study period 3 (I quit study period 2 because I got 'unwell') and on 1 December I start study period 4, which might be stressful because (I study online) my Dad is going to do the same subject and he doesn't know how to use a computer, so I have to go on hands free and walk him through it. I think if he can't find something he will call me. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to getting to know my Dad even better than I normally do, I just hope I can deal with the pressure. Study has kept me out of hospital because it has kept me really busy and given me something to think about other than me, which was what I was doing before.

 

I was reading the magnesium info and I am really worried about the leg cramping that someone mentioned. I am really really sensitive, like I took executive stress formula and it was putting me to sleep because I became really relaxed. I am still waiting for my magnesium to arrive, hopefully today, but like I said, I hope 25mg isn't too much, though I guess I won't know until I try it. I am hoping it has a really good effect on me, it would be awesome. I tend to be highly strung, hence all the drugs. Dr K told me that she can't say no to me and because I wanted to quick fix pill all the time, that's part of the reason she was prescribing, not that that should be an excuse.  I asked her to be strict with me and she said she couldn't, so I said to her, if I try and get more drugs out of me, remind me why I am doing this! She said she would. I must admit that she is a bit of a pushover but in the end it's me making the decisions and choices. I choose whether I take another drug or whether I deal with the emotion itself. I would like to think at the moment that I deal with the emotion.

 

In any case, things are good today. I'm glad to see the back of the WD even though I think I got off lightly, it could have been worse or lasted longer. Fingers crossed it's a good day!

[mammaP]

Sounds like everything is going great right now and I'm glad your doctor is being supportive. 

 

Start low with the magnesium and you should be fine 

[calithebold]

I just got my magnesium Glycinate arrive this afternoon and I must say I am completely confused. They are 200mg tablets and they are a long oblong tablet. I have so much conflicting information that I just don't know what to do. I have been told to use 400mg, then 200mg by someone else, then half a tablet by someone else (probably the easiest if I am going to cut the tablet) and then on here 25mg (how I would cut that I don't know. Can anyone help me?  :wacko:

[calithebold]

P.S. Thanks mammaP

[calithebold]

I got a phone call yesterday from Trudi, one of the intake coordinators of the DBT program at the clinic I have been to before. This is a day outpatients program and I don't even know what the wait time is like right now. It looks like, if I get in, they will be Monday/Wednesday days, which I am happy with. That doesn't interfere with Dr K's appointments. I'll be interested to see what Trudi says, because she turned me back last time because I was too unstable. I think she'll find me, this time, a whole other person.

 

Uni study period 3 finished next week. I am in the middle of one assignment, though for some strange reason it's not stressing me out. Then the week after that I start a new subject altogether. It's funny, my uni is all online and my subjects are scattered between 2 external universities. The actual funny thing is is that my Dad is going to be doing my next subject at the same time as me. I don't know whether this is going to put added stress on me as he doesn't know how to use a computer that well. It can be frustrating for me but I never let him know that and in a way, this study could bring us closer together. We'll see. He is a very passive person so I think it will be fine. I will admit though to worrying about my stress levels. Dad hasn't finished high school, so he is worried, but I've given him some books to read and he has read them. He also has to realise that my Mum didn't finish high school either and she has completed her nursing degree. I didn't pass anything at high school and I have two degrees already. I find that study helps to keep my mood stable and it keeps me busy. I can't imagine myself without it. I only started my current degree in March this year and one subject at a time. It will take a LONG time to finish... great! I can get off the meds at the same time

 

The magnesium was very good. I remember before I fell asleep that I panicked thinking I had taken too much. My anxiety went right up but then I was just asleep and then it was morning. Does magnesium help with soreness in your joints? I noticed this morning that I wasn't as sore as normal. I'll see how it goes.

[calithebold]

Struggling today. I have so much to do but no motivation to do it. I am tired and I feel depressed today, though I don't know why. I think I am going to have a sleep.

[calithebold]

Isn't it amazing what a sleep will do! I did lots of writing today. I wrote some more for my new zine and I completed a short story for uni. I also added to and redesigned my blog. I got an order for back issues of an old zine and I reprinted them. Still have another three left to go. Very exciting as this will bring me $40 whoop, happy me :-)

[JanCarol]

This sounds really good!  So did you take a whole tablet of mag?  Or a half?  The confusing different milligrams is because there are so many different forms of magnesium, and some of them have different strengths as well as different absorption rates.  (like, Mag oxide, you can only absorb a maximum of 6% of it!  Mag glycinate is higher, but still less than 50%.)  And different people absorb at different rates.

 

So I take 2 tablets (400mg) of mag glycinate daily, but I've built up to that.   Hubby is on the same.  But you have to go by what feels right for you.  That's why MammaP said start out small, and see what you can tolerate!

 

And magnesium can RELIEVE leg cramps, more likely than causing them.  I'm a big fan of the mag thing!  (and grateful to this forum for pointing me in the magnesium direction)

 

Oops!  There's my dinner!  Talk soon!

[calithebold]

I did end up taking one whole tablet and I tolerated it. It's funny though, after I swallowed it, I had a minor panic attack and thought it was going to kill me. Then it was morning, lol!

[calithebold]

I was thinking that the magnesium dose I was was okay but again last night I felt uncomfortable and anxious but then just fell asleep until this morning. So I am going to cut the tablet in half tonight and see how I go. I hope that makes me feel a bit better. Can I ask a question? My partner is going on about 5-HTP and he is saying to try it but I very reluctant because it's another thing at the moment. Does anyone know about this?

[mammaP]

Try looking here Cali, there are lots of topics that discuss supplements. Personally I haven't tried it but

you may find some info here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-herbs-treatments/

[Rhiannon]

5-HTP might be too strong for you right now, especially if you're concerned about something as gentle as magnesium. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of discussion of 5-HTP on this forum. Try entering a Google search "surviving antidepressants 5-HTP" and see what comes up. I think people have gotten into trouble with it. The last thing you need to be doing (IMO) is messing with neurotransmitters, right now. 

 

Magnesium, on the other hand, I have only ever met one person on the forums who had trouble with that, out of hundreds, so I consider it pretty safe.