Progress! What withdrawal symptoms have gone away for you?

[Armorall]

@Superwoman no I just had the cold hands/feet in withdrawal. I never experienced any side effects on medication personally (I was taken off of Risperidone because it was elevating my prolactin levels, but I was oblivious to it). 

Can of pop, lol.

[Superwoman]

@Armorall, 

 

He was totally convinced it was a can of pop.

[direstraits]

really amazed how the depression has gone,especially since I'm still dealing w/a lot of depressing symptoms if you know what I mean.😕

[pinciukas]

On 12/14/2019 at 6:10 AM, Superwoman said:

Did you have these symptoms on the medication or just during withdrawal?  I had freezing cold hands, feet and nose on Effexor at the higher dose.  One night I touched my husbands back in bed. He about jumped to the ceiling!  I kid you not, he literally thought that I was playing a prank on him and had touched his back with an ice cold can of pop! Lol!  That’s how cold my hands were. 
 

It just occurred to me recently that my hands are rarely cold anymore since I tapered down my medication.  At least not like before.  It never occurred to me that this could be a side effect.  I wonder if antidepressants effect blood flow?

I have cold hands and feet’s but not everyday. I never experienced this before tapering.

[delsol]

I'm trying to hold onto any little teeny, tiny ray of hope right now, so I'm posting to make myself (and others) feel better haha.  Something that is better is my sensitivity to cold temps and winter darkness (not having actual coldness as in the post above; just a sensitivity to it). Just a year ago (before the majority of my taper), I was bothered by how meds made me feel so sensitive to (for instance) holding a cold beverage that had ice in it; or going outside in December without gloves on.  This winter, even though I just finished tapering and have many more worrisome symptoms, I can celebrate that the cold actually feels... dare I say it... Good?   Also I used to dread the short sunlight days but this year, despite crippling depression/anxiety from coming off meds, the lack of sun itself doesn't seem like such a big deal.

 

Also I think, if I'm honest, my stomach pain is better. Nausea is wretched, but pain itself is much better. 

[Rhiannon]

I'm looking back tonight at when I first started this tapering process 10 years ago. I was pretty intensely suicidal and in a great deal of emotional pain almost all the time. Both of those things are gone. Those intense waves of emotional pain and despair--once in a great while I will get something maybe a little like that, kind of an emotional "zap", but it doesn't last long, it feels like a "wobble" that then kind of rights itself.

 

But my emotions are up and down and come and go, they may still be being affected by the drugs and withdrawal, or maybe it's just life, I don't know. It's nothing like that agony I felt at first though.

 

I think the most noticeable change is the disappearance of suicidality. It was gradual, over years. At first I was actively suicidal, coming up with various plans, but not acting on them mostly because I did that once and I didn't want to go through that again. Then it sort of bumpily transitioned to a more passive suicidality, where I knew I wouldn't actively harm myself but I often wished I would drop dead from a heart attack or get hit by a truck or something. Then it transitioned from that into a lighter kind of thing where I realized I didn't really want to die NOW, but I sort of hoped I wouldn't have a particularly long life, like when death came it would be a relief but I wasn't really ready for it to come right this minute. And gradually that lightened up to where it was interspersed with occasional surprising days or hours of realizing that I actually do NOT want to die, that I'm happy that I'm alive, for no particular reason, just the natural survival instinct of the organism reasserting itself. And now, over the past year and a half or so, that has become my norm. I do have bad times from time to time where I feel discouraged about life and feel like "this sucks and isn't worth doing" but that is about as bad as it gets these days. I am absolutely certain that I do NOT want to harm myself, in fact quite the contrary, I feel pretty self-protective. And I hope to live quite a few more years yet, at least another 25 or 30.

 

So those are the most noticeable changes for me. And the suicidality was pretty much a constant companion every year that I was on psych meds before I started tapering officially. It was worse sometimes and better other times but always in the background for those 18 years or so, so it's a significant change for me.

 

 

[mstimc]

For me, I've stopped making the jump from vague possibility to absolute certainty and then catastrophizing everything.  I used to be constantly afraid the slightest mistake or slip-up would result in a terrible consequence.  I think I convinced myself I was one step from the grave and/or jail at least 400 times.  I'm much better about keeping my thoughts in the realm of reality.

[delsol]

On 1/9/2020 at 7:34 PM, Rhiannon said:

So those are the most noticeable changes for me. And the suicidality was pretty much a constant companion every year that I was on psych meds before I started tapering officially. It was worse sometimes and better other times but always in the background for those 18 years or so, so it's a significant change for me.

 Wow Rhiannon, thank you so much for sharing this. I too have had terribly recurrent suicidal ideations, mostly for the past 3 1/2 years, mainly due to the psych drugs, and that is the reason I've taken action to get off of them. Hope to have this symptom go away myself some day...

 

But I digress... this thread is about things that have already gone away. (I like participating in threads like this; they help balance the negativity I usually find myself in). Okay, here's one:  A few months ago, I had to always be near a bathroom, and I had some mild urinary incontinence for about 2 months that really freaked me out. But I don't even think about that anymore. It was a symptom that seems to have passed. 

 

Hoping that's not TMI 🤨 haha.

[erer]

I thought I would pitch in with a couple of major ones for me.

 

Agoraphobia (I was homebound for about 2 years).

 

Suicidality (I agree with the previous distinction between "not feeling like living" and "wanting to die". Most of my life since I was put on meds at 17 y I have passionately and sincerely wanted to die (and attempted). I don't feel that way any more. Like a switch has flipped - even when things are awful my desire and solution to it is not "to die" any more)

 

And of course there is a long list of other horrible symptoms that I have had and no longer have. Psychotic fears for example.

 

I am currently on 12,5 mg Valdoxan and 0,216 Diazepam (have tapered off Olanzapine from this particular cocktail). 

 

[Giulietta]

Hello Rhi,

 

Thank you for sharing your feelings and experience about transitioning from not wanting to be amongst the living to being happy to be alive. They are painful things to wrestle with and it takes personal courage to look these negative feelings in the eye (admit that they are real and shared by others) and then realize life is a gift. I am repeatedly told everone has a different path and this is mine.

 

I have intemittently coped with suicidal ideation but turn my feelings around eventhough it is hard - to know my life is a gift. There are things I want to accomplish and share with others - and there is the biological instinct to survive.  There are many times (passive) when I wish I had gone wtih a friend a lost to illness.

 

On the positive side - I have improved a great deal since last August, and after reinstatement, last December. Acute symptoms have lessened. Many come and go - you think they are gone - but they then return in a less intense form. A few of them are limiting. I'm grateful for days when I do not have imbalance (for one). Agoraphobia is terrible.

 

On 1/9/2020 at 7:34 PM, Rhiannon said:

'm happy that I'm alive, for no particular reason,

 

I am so glad you feel this way. So is your family.

 

Hugs,

G.

[Onmyway]

On 1/10/2020 at 6:38 PM, mstimc said:

For me, I've stopped making the jump from vague possibility to absolute certainty and then catastrophizing everything.  I used to be constantly afraid the slightest mistake or slip-up would result in a terrible consequence.  I think I convinced myself I was one step from the grave and/or jail at least 400 times.  I'm much better about keeping my thoughts in the realm of reality.

Wow, I didn't think this was a WD thing. I have been having that intensely in the last year or so and I thought it was just my personality off the drugs. Thank you for sharing this. I have days where probabilities seem more realistic but most of the time it's catastrophe after catastrophe. 

[mstimc]

Just now, Onmyway said:

Wow, I didn't think this was a WD thing. I have been having that intensely in the last year or so and I thought it was just my personality off the drugs. Thank you for sharing this. I have days where probabilities seem more realistic but most of the time it's catastrophe after catastrophe. 

 

Hi Onmyway.  Well, catastrophizing comes with OCD, but it was much worse in WD.  During recovery, I realized coming off my SSRI wasn't going to do me any good unless I also addressed my anxious and obsessive behaviors at the same time.   That's where the CBT and therapy came in.

[Onmyway]

15 hours ago, phill said:

Has anyone on this forum experienced long term insomnia withdrawal from ssris and/or antipsychotics and how did you cope with it? have you been fully healed from the insomnia where your able to sleeep for 8-10 and not wake up have broken sleep?

Occasionally I'm now able to sleep over 6 hrs. In the beginning I slept no more than 1-4 a night for a few months. In waves it gets worse, in windows it gets better but I think now I can manage an average of 5-6. 

 

Things that helped.

1) Accepting that this will get better on its own when it does and in the meantime I will be ok on the sleep that I could get

This was life changing. Really helped.

2) extended release melatonin - not sure if this was placebo. Melatonin is only somewhat helpful in staying asleep but I think it helped 

 

That's it. Insomnia gets better for everyone. It just takes time. Also accepting it and not obsessing about it is what helped me the most. 

[ThatOneGirlStitch]

My cognitive function was able to heal over a couple months. I am lucky in that regard. I hope to add more in the future.

[Ariel]

Thought it might be nice to have a community thread for posting about improvements great and small, as we notice them occurring. We mention positive developments in our intro topics and of course there are the success stories; I'd love for this to be a place to pop in for a little snack of something promising, a little pick-me-up for when we want to share a nugget or savor a nibble. 

 

*

 

I've been noticing something I think is an improvement (curious to hear what you think): increased muscle efficacy/strength -- the opposite of muscle weakness. In other words, I feel like my muscles are working better!

 

This is remarkable to me because it's been a couple of years since I've been able to exercise properly, and I'm definitely in worse shape, much heavier with more fat and less muscle mass, than I was at the beginning of WD. I haven't been lifting weights or training, I can't do much at all. However I feel like my muscles work better. I've been noticing this on and off for the past few months. I still sometimes get muscle aches and extreme full-body fatigue, but it's like my muscles have more energy, more available resources to do what they need to do. I'm not sure how to describe it but it's pretty cool. 

 

This new experience is making me realize that I may have suffered from significant drug-induced muscle weakness for decades without even realizing it. I just thought how it was was normal. Now I'm thinking it probably wasn't normal at all! How else to explain that today I am much older, overweight, out of shape, with inadequate muscle mass, and still things seem to be working better? If it is indeed the case that I had muscle weakness side effects for most of my life, consider me retroactively offended. 

 

Does this resonate with anyone?

 

[Ariel]

I've been noticing something I think is an improvement (curious to hear what you think): increased muscle efficacy/strength -- the opposite of muscle weakness. In other words, I feel like my muscles are working better!

 

This is remarkable to me because it's been a couple of years since I've been able to exercise properly, and I'm definitely in worse shape, much heavier with more fat and less muscle mass, than I was at the beginning of WD. I haven't been lifting weights or training, I can't do much at all. However I feel like my muscles work better. I've been noticing this on and off for the past few months. I still sometimes get muscle aches and extreme full-body fatigue, but it's like my muscles have more energy, more available resources to do what they need to do. I'm not sure how to describe it but it's pretty cool. 

 

This new experience is making me realize that I may have suffered from significant drug-induced muscle weakness for decades without even realizing it. I just thought how it was was normal. Now I'm thinking it probably wasn't normal at all! How else to explain that today I am much older, overweight, out of shape, with inadequate muscle mass, and still things seem to be working better? If it is indeed the case that I had muscle weakness side effects for most of my life, consider me retroactively offended. 

 

Does this resonate with anyone?

[Ariel]

 

[PortugueseSea]

Panic attacks are gone, pacing is largely gone. So is crushing chest pressure, oh, and a low grade temperature that lingered for months.

The restlessness, my worst symptom, is still here. But even that has lessened a bit. Drives me nuts though.

It is progress. Slow and painful, but progress.

[Thorin]

On 1/10/2020 at 11:34 AM, Rhiannon said:

I was pretty intensely suicidal and in a great deal of emotional pain almost all the time. Both of those things are gone.

It’s a relief to hear that these things pass with time. I’m starting to admit to myself that if it wasn’t for my kids and partner and my deep love for them I wouldn’t be here. This thought happens a lot. I haven’t experienced this level of suicidal ideation in a very long time. But I love my family too much to do that to them. I hope this passes as it did for you. It’s overwhelming and seeps into every part of my life when it’s happening 

[Thorin]

On 1/11/2020 at 5:38 AM, mstimc said:

For me, I've stopped making the jump from vague possibility to absolute certainty and then catastrophizing everything.  I used to be constantly afraid the slightest mistake or slip-up would result in a terrible consequence.  I think I convinced myself I was one step from the grave and/or jail at least 400 times.  I'm much better about keeping my thoughts in the realm of reality.

Wow I thought this was just something wrong with me…. But it’s WD? And it goes away? That’s incredible news!

[Joey805]

As far as Seroquel withdrawal: insomnia, the most obvious symptom, subsided within about 1 week after stopping. Heightened anxiety and brain fog have also mostly faded away in the time since I stopped. Overall, very few obvious WD symptoms from Seroquel.

 

The big deal for me, and the reason I decided to stop taking these drugs, was an incredibly severe reaction I was having each time I took Seroquel. This reaction didn't start happening until around 1 year into taking the drug. It was inducing basically the mother of all panic attacks. Feeling 1000% positive that something horrible is happening and that I'm going to die. This feeling persisted for hours, every single night, after taking 150mg Seroquel. I was hospitalized for this.

Happy to say that I haven't experienced that reaction since stopping Seroquel. Priority #1 was getting a handle on that reaction.

 

1 week since stopping Depakote: General feeling of confusion and unease lasted a few days, feeling fairly normal otherwise. Sleep is fine. Can't think of anything that has interfered significantly with work or day to day life.

 

I was on both drugs for a little over 1 year at relatively consistent low doses (150mg Seroquel, 500mg Depakote)

 

Things I'm experiencing that I can't confidently attribute to withdrawal: chronic pain in neck and between shoulders, low energy, moderate depression, persistent dissociation (feeling like I'm watching a movie through my own eyes), frequent leg bouncing or repetitively clenching my toes (which is controllable if I notice and decide to stop). Most of these are things I've dealt with for a long time, maybe exacerbated slightly with medication changes.

 

Diagnosed with PTSD and general anxiety disorder.

 

Hopefully this information helps alleviate the fears of those with a similar background. It's different for everybody, but I found these drugs to have a far more agreeable withdrawal than other substances I've withdrawn from: nicotine, cannabis, sertraline (zoloft), clonezepam (klonopin), and hydrocodone (norco).

[Altostrata]

Bumping! What symptoms have gone away for you?

[Joey805]

Nearly a year later, I would say the leg bouncing and repetitive clenching of toes and fists have subsided a lot for the most part, but naturally, if I have a cup or two of coffee I'll catch myself bouncing my leg a bit.

 

Insomnia is nonexistent and I sleep fully and soundly every night, though I take melatonin to help with this. I work late and on computers, so it helps offset the disturbance from screen time. I had severe insomnia for much of the time I was on ADs and during withdrawal, so this is a considerable change.

 

The chronic pain and related issues I noted earlier have been traced to a spinal problem we found through X-rays, so I can at least say that the pain I'm in and related symptoms aren't due to WD but other circumstances.

 

Strangely, I've actually seen an increase in the number and intensity of my panic attacks in the last month. Unsure of the cause. Potentially related to spinal problems, since that's so heavily tied to your nervous system.

 

Overall I'd say I'm no longer experiencing any symptoms that seem like withdrawal symptoms. It'd be nice if things improved even more as time goes on, but I'm starting to think this is about as good as it'll get, and now I need to work on other parts of my life to progress further. I think I'm mostly back to my usual self, which is a person who still had enough mental issues to "need" those scripts initially.