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Success stories after many years of withdrawal syndrome?


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WinningThrough

Hi

 

Just a thought..there are some partial recovery stories on here and these are great and very uplifting. I love these stories. Recovery doesn't have to be complete. Recovery can be a place that isn't perfect but is better than it was.

 

I just wondered if anyone had any stories of partial recovery? For example, going from non-functional to functional or from the acute phase to the post acute phase.

 

It would give a lot of hope for those in the acute phase. I've gone from wanting to be 100% healed to thinking a 50% improvement would be absolutely amazing or moving out of the acute phase would be awesome.

 

Something to think about.

 

Thanks.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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Hi   Just a thought..there are some partial recovery stories on here and these are great and very uplifting. I love these stories. Recovery doesn't have to be complete. Recovery can be a place that

I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it.    But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed

We have many of those partial recovery stories in the Intro forum. As they're works in progress, the Intro topics gradually evolve.

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Altostrata

We have many of those partial recovery stories in the Intro forum. As they're works in progress, the Intro topics gradually evolve.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Withdrawal is so different for different people partly perhaps due to how they got off the drug the dose and how long they have been drugged... so may variables. Some could be well on there way to healing after 6 months while others are just crawling out of bed.  There are too many variables for this to be truly productive reading through the countless threads and finding a situation that sounds like your may seem a good idea but even then you will find our own body make up or other not yet understood variables through theories out the window. I know because I have been reading posts for 6+ years... and that is what I have found.  We are all flying by the seat of our pants here and all hoping. That is about the best I can tell you. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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No offence btdt but I have a more optimistic view that the one you present.  I don't believe I am flying by the seat of my pants.  I make good decisions for myself, despite uncertainty.   I seek advice when I am unsure. I'm prepared to admit when I am wrong,  I read others stories and heed lessons from their experience.   Witnessing others on a path to recovery helps me to maintain hope.

 

I know I am in a lot better position that others on this site, I am also in a lot better position than when I first got here.  Bit by bit I have created my own recovery-in-progress.  I agree that we should keep these in the intro section but I also think they are of great value.  No-ones story will tell you what to do but it can provide guidance, support and hope.  

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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I guess your more of the norm... I wasn't so what appears to be a difference of opinion really isn't it is a difference of experience you withdrawal experience is very different from mine... we agree on keeping this in the intro... for different reasons.  I will say there are many things I have found that have helped me they were not all on withdrawal sites or lets say just one withdrawal site I have looked every place online and in books ect.  I think it is important to keep looking.  Eventually it will all get here.   I agree if you looking for taper advice and are tapering your point is stellar but if your a cold turkey person we don't fit here quite as neatly. 

There are so many issues that differ.. even if your tapering.  Different drugs different health issues specific to each body... different healing rates ... it can be mind boggling.  

No withdrawal

Withdrawal

Tolerance 

Protracted withdrawal 

While there are common threads there are many differences too. The truth is it is asking a lot of any domain to cover all of these issues and is particularly difficult for people in withdrawal to navigate.  I understand wanting to section it to smaller bites. We have to start some place tho and so we do. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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UnfoldingSky

I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it. 

 

But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed to recover completely from severe akathisia and partly from memory loss so profound I forgot most of my memories of my own life (my problems were caused by multiple drugs, and withdrawals including a c/t, and several adverse reactions).  And many other problems as well.  A friend of mine also managed an astounding partial recovery after being drugged with almost every psych drug available, given for over a period of almost two decades, and all for a physical problem.  He reacted to pretty well all of those drugs too...His story in some respects is still more amazing than mine as at points he lost his memory so badly if I recall he didn't even know his own name or where he was...And that was a long fall for him as he was a literal genius with an incredible memory.

 

So do take heart, a lot more is possible than we may believe...

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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WinningThrough

THANK YOU unfoldingsky. You have no idea how much this helps me. Thank you.

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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UnfoldingSky

No problem Winning Through.  I am hoping you get a big window ASAP.  And I'll work on my story some more, hopefully get it up soon too.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Btdt,

 

I agree we are speaking from different experiences and that no two are the same. That's why I challenged you generalising from your experience to say that it's futile looking at what has happened to others.

 

The point is not to search through everyone's thread to find one that matches your situation and to do what they did-that's not what was being suggested and it's never going to be productive. However, learning bits and pieces from the collective experience and wisdom is useful. As is gaining hope from the fact that others have experienced positive change.

 

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it. 

 

But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed to recover completely from severe akathisia and partly from memory loss so profound I forgot most of my memories of my own life (my problems were caused by multiple drugs, and withdrawals including a c/t, and several adverse reactions).  And many other problems as well.  A friend of mine also managed an astounding partial recovery after being drugged with almost every psych drug available, given for over a period of almost two decades, and all for a physical problem.  He reacted to pretty well all of those drugs too...His story in some respects is still more amazing than mine as at points he lost his memory so badly if I recall he didn't even know his own name or where he was...And that was a long fall for him as he was a literal genius with an incredible memory.

 

So do take heart, a lot more is possible than we may believe...

Thank you for posting this is much like my story.  I wonder is the friend you speak of on here if not maybe he would like to be... I bet you have suggested it already I for one would like to hear his story.

peace to you...

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Here's a partial success story in this topic: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3078-rhi-incremental-success/

 

I've found that even after posting my success story, there's is still some recovery to go.  I didn't think that when I wrote it, but I'm realizing from time to time that I still have some withdrawal symptoms such as sleeplessness and anhedonia, but they are mild and fading away. I'm also finding that I'm needing much less medication to sleep, I'm getting up earlier, I have less physical pain and stiffness, and there are occasional moments of feeling utterly content like I used to experience on weekends when I was away from my utterly frustrating and stressful job. I'm able to keep busy nearly all of the time instead of having long stretches of boredom and consequent mild depression and fatigue. Today I was amazed that I was able to do gardening for about two hours, most of it on my knees, without having pain or exhaustion. I have been doing exercises for osteoporosis and following the alkaline-acid balanced diet, and I think both are helping now, but they might not have during earlier withdrawal.  More likely I never would have started either or stuck to them if I did.

 

Life just keeps getting better.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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UnfoldingSky

 

I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it. 

 

But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed to recover completely from severe akathisia and partly from memory loss so profound I forgot most of my memories of my own life (my problems were caused by multiple drugs, and withdrawals including a c/t, and several adverse reactions).  And many other problems as well.  A friend of mine also managed an astounding partial recovery after being drugged with almost every psych drug available, given for over a period of almost two decades, and all for a physical problem.  He reacted to pretty well all of those drugs too...His story in some respects is still more amazing than mine as at points he lost his memory so badly if I recall he didn't even know his own name or where he was...And that was a long fall for him as he was a literal genius with an incredible memory.

 

So do take heart, a lot more is possible than we may believe...

Thank you for posting this is much like my story.  I wonder is the friend you speak of on here if not maybe he would like to be... I bet you have suggested it already I for one would like to hear his story.

peace to you...

 

 

No, he's not on here.  Unfortunately we lost touch because of a rather trying circumstance.  I can post some of his story though but I will have to dig it up, he gave me permission to write about it before we lost contact.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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UnfoldingSky

Jemima, thank you for posting, it's wonderful to know things can still improve. 

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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NoMeaning25

Dear Unfoldingsky

 

 

I am interested in your story, as i am now 21 months free and still in severe hell. I have severe DR/DP, Memory problems are very severe, i feel confused and dizzy, i dont really konw whats happening around me if you know what i mean.

 

I c/t from 4 years paxil and when trying to reinstate a different drug, had a severe adverse reaction.

 

Im looking for hope. Is 21 months too early? No improvements. Really if the DR/DP would just improve i would be happy. I am worried and scared to death.

 

I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it. 

 

But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed to recover completely from severe akathisia and partly from memory loss so profound I forgot most of my memories of my own life (my problems were caused by multiple drugs, and withdrawals including a c/t, and several adverse reactions).  And many other problems as well.  A friend of mine also managed an astounding partial recovery after being drugged with almost every psych drug available, given for over a period of almost two decades, and all for a physical problem.  He reacted to pretty well all of those drugs too...His story in some respects is still more amazing than mine as at points he lost his memory so badly if I recall he didn't even know his own name or where he was...And that was a long fall for him as he was a literal genius with an incredible memory.

 

So do take heart, a lot more is possible than we may believe...

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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No offence btdt but I have a more optimistic view that the one you present.  I don't believe I am flying by the seat of my pants.  I make good decisions for myself, despite uncertainty.   I seek advice when I am unsure. I'm prepared to admit when I am wrong,  I read others stories and heed lessons from their experience.   Witnessing others on a path to recovery helps me to maintain hope.

 

I know I am in a lot better position that others on this site, I am also in a lot better position than when I first got here.  Bit by bit I have created my own recovery-in-progress.  I agree that we should keep these in the intro section but I also think they are of great value.  No-ones story will tell you what to do but it can provide guidance, support and hope.  

 

Dalsaan

I did not think my view was presented as having no optimism... I was saying you can't count on your withdrawal to be exactly like anyone else we have agreed and at the same time you feel you have to take a poke at me I am maybe taking this personally ...

I find it happens to me a  lot on this website and maybe it is time I started my own for that very reason.... bit tiring being a target.  it gets old fast

That is how I am feeling here lately...like a target.  I know you will not miss me when I am gone.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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UnfoldingSky

 

Dear Unfoldingsky

 

 

I am interested in your story, as i am now 21 months free and still in severe hell. I have severe DR/DP, Memory problems are very severe, i feel confused and dizzy, i dont really konw whats happening around me if you know what i mean.

 

I c/t from 4 years paxil and when trying to reinstate a different drug, had a severe adverse reaction.

 

Im looking for hope. Is 21 months too early? No improvements. Really if the DR/DP would just improve i would be happy. I am worried and scared to death.

 

I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it. 

 

But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed to recover completely from severe akathisia and partly from memory loss so profound I forgot most of my memories of my own life (my problems were caused by multiple drugs, and withdrawals including a c/t, and several adverse reactions).  And many other problems as well.  A friend of mine also managed an astounding partial recovery after being drugged with almost every psych drug available, given for over a period of almost two decades, and all for a physical problem.  He reacted to pretty well all of those drugs too...His story in some respects is still more amazing than mine as at points he lost his memory so badly if I recall he didn't even know his own name or where he was...And that was a long fall for him as he was a literal genius with an incredible memory.

 

So do take heart, a lot more is possible than we may believe...

 

 

OliviaS,

 

Sorry you are still doing so badly that far out.  I had a very hard time for the first three years after a series of drug reactions and c/t, and yes had DP/DR for those years that was severe along with many other severe problems too (memory loss was really bad.)  I basically felt like I was out of my body for three years and felt like the world was not quite real.

 

I don't know if this is your situation but I also would have only about one or two windows a year, for some reason in the winter.  Initially after the first (mildish) drug reaction I had the usual windows and waves pattern (I took one dose of a drug that I had a mild reaction to, stopped it, then had some withdrawal) but as time wore on and I was put back on drugs and then taken off, the situation got much more complicated, eventually leading to the three year period with almost no windows, where it was honestly all I could do to just get through each day.

 

So things can turn around even if it has been a long time and even if it is severe.  I now no longer have DP/DR, I have back many memories of my past, I have better recall of recently formed memories, no akathisia to speak of, etc..

 

And also things could change for you even more quickly than they did me since I was put on more drugs than you and had issues with most of them.

 

Keep the faith things will turn around. 

 

Best wishes,

 

Unfolding Sky

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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NoMeaning25

UnfoldingSky

 

 

Thank you very much for this. I really needed the hope and encouragement. I have only experienced one window, that was more than a year ago. I am really really hoping and praying that the DR/DP will lessen and go away. II have it very severely and like you, my memories are mostly gone.

 

I am very happy to hear that you are doing much better and that the DR/DP went away. If i may ask, was there anything specific you did to aid in your recovery? Diet, meditation etc?

 

I have severe dizziness too that i hope will go away aswell. My list of symptoms is enormous, but these few things are the most bothersome. If they would just go away i wouldnt mind the others, really. I dont have akathisia, but i have inner restlessness that comes and goes.

 

 

 

 

Dear Unfoldingsky

 

 

I am interested in your story, as i am now 21 months free and still in severe hell. I have severe DR/DP, Memory problems are very severe, i feel confused and dizzy, i dont really konw whats happening around me if you know what i mean.

 

I c/t from 4 years paxil and when trying to reinstate a different drug, had a severe adverse reaction.

 

Im looking for hope. Is 21 months too early? No improvements. Really if the DR/DP would just improve i would be happy. I am worried and scared to death.

 

I am partly recovered.  I haven't put my story up because it was so traumatizing to revisit but I am in the process of trying to write it. 

 

But for those who are in a bad way right now, I managed to recover completely from severe akathisia and partly from memory loss so profound I forgot most of my memories of my own life (my problems were caused by multiple drugs, and withdrawals including a c/t, and several adverse reactions).  And many other problems as well.  A friend of mine also managed an astounding partial recovery after being drugged with almost every psych drug available, given for over a period of almost two decades, and all for a physical problem.  He reacted to pretty well all of those drugs too...His story in some respects is still more amazing than mine as at points he lost his memory so badly if I recall he didn't even know his own name or where he was...And that was a long fall for him as he was a literal genius with an incredible memory.

 

So do take heart, a lot more is possible than we may believe...

 

 

OliviaS,

 

Sorry you are still doing so badly that far out.  I had a very hard time for the first three years after a series of drug reactions and c/t, and yes had DP/DR for those years that was severe along with many other severe problems too (memory loss was really bad.)  I basically felt like I was out of my body for three years and felt like the world was not quite real.

 

I don't know if this is your situation but I also would have only about one or two windows a year, for some reason in the winter.  Initially after the first (mildish) drug reaction I had the usual windows and waves pattern (I took one dose of a drug that I had a mild reaction to, stopped it, then had some withdrawal) but as time wore on and I was put back on drugs and then taken off, the situation got much more complicated, eventually leading to the three year period with almost no windows, where it was honestly all I could do to just get through each day.

 

So things can turn around even if it has been a long time and even if it is severe.  I now no longer have DP/DR, I have back many memories of my past, I have better recall of recently formed memories, no akathisia to speak of, etc..

 

And also things could change for you even more quickly than they did me since I was put on more drugs than you and had issues with most of them.

 

Keep the faith things will turn around. 

 

Best wishes,

 

Unfolding Sky

 

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you very much for this. I really needed the hope and encouragement. I have only experienced one window, that was more than a year ago. I am really really hoping and praying that the DR/DP will lessen and go away. II have it very severely and like you, my memories are mostly gone.

 

I am very happy to hear that you are doing much better and that the DR/DP went away. If i may ask, was there anything specific you did to aid in your recovery? Diet, meditation etc?

 

I have severe dizziness too that i hope will go away aswell. My list of symptoms is enormous, but these few things are the most bothersome. If they would just go away i wouldnt mind the others, really. I dont have akathisia, but i have inner restlessness that comes and goes.

 

 

What is DR?DP?

2005-2008: Effexor; 1/2008 Tapered 3 months, then quit. 7/2008-2009 Reinstated Effexor (crying spells at start of new job.)
2009-3/2013: Switched to Pristiq 50 mg then 100 mg
3/2013: Switched to Lexapro 10mg. Cut down to 5 mg. CT for 2 weeks then reinstated for 6 weeks
8/2013-8/2014: Tapering Lexapro (Lots of withdrawal symptoms)
11/2014 -8/2015: Developed severe insomnia and uncontrollable daily crying spells
12/2014-6/2015: Tried Ambien, Klonopin,Ativan, Lunesta, Sonata, Trazadone, Seroquel, Rameron, Gabapentin - Developed Anxiety disorder, PTSD, and Psychogenic Myoclonus
7/2015-1/2016: Reinstated Lexapro 2 mg (mild improvement, but crying spells still present)

1/2016-5/2017: Lexapro 5 mg ( helped a lot, but poor stress tolerance & depressive episodes)

5/20/2017 - Raised dose to Lexapro 10 mg due to lingering depression(Total of 2 failed tapers & severe PAWS)

9/11/2018 - Present: Still on 10 mg Lexapro and mostly recovered.(Extremely sensitive to stress which triggers Myoclonus.)

Intro page: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4149-lilu-depression-worsened-by-meds/

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Withdrawal is so different for different people partly perhaps due to how they got off the drug the dose and how long they have been drugged... so may variables. Some could be well on there way to healing after 6 months while others are just crawling out of bed.  There are too many variables for this to be truly productive reading through the countless threads and finding a situation that sounds like your may seem a good idea but even then you will find our own body make up or other not yet understood variables through theories out the window. I know because I have been reading posts for 6+ years... and that is what I have found.  We are all flying by the seat of our pants here and all hoping. That is about the best I can tell you. 

 

This is true, what you're saying. However, reading through dozens of profiles over the years, has informed me about what can happen during withdrawal. This has been important in recognizing the symptoms, physical or mental, as being DUE TO withdrawal, as opposed to, say, a permanent change in my personality, for whatever ungodly reason.   Knowing that what I am experiencing, may or may not be a symptom of withdrawal tells me that "it too shall pass".  Reading about Olivia's experience, makes me feel grateful that my experience hasn't been that bad. But it also makes me feel scared about what will happen when my taper is over.  I am optimistic however.  I'm grateful that despite the brain fog, lethargy, and fatigue, my memory has remained impeccable.   One thing we all are doing on here, is exercising our brains and our memories by reading and learning so much scientific information and employing critical thinking. 

 

I had a really hard time when I got to 1 mg of my medication.  It was a very long and nasty wave.  I came very close to trying yet another antidepressant.   Y'all talked me out of it.   And then, a window opened up.  And I was like, "Oooh, THAT's what they're talking about."  It seemed like I had to cross a very long threshold.  In the past however, I would think that "ok, i'm healed now. It's over."   But now that I know about the up and down nature of withdrawal, I am aware that I may have another wave.  I am also aware that emotionally stressful situations can bring on a wave, and that I have to do my best to avoid them.

 

I guess this kind of living forces you to live "in the now", appreciate more and take advantage of your good days. And take better care of yourself on your bad days.    There's gotta be a reason why so many of us are on this long and difficult journey.  I just wish that people could learn from each other's experience.  I wish that my experience could have stopped others from taking these drugs.  But, so far it hasn't.  In today's fast moving society, people prefer to pop a quick pill, rather than cultivate the skills necessary to manage whatever mental dis-ease ails them.

 

Of course, as I have learned from this site, many of you wound up on psychotropic drugs for NON-Mental reasons.  And that's just  unfortunate that psychotropic drugs have so many off-label uses, and doctors prescribe them without letting patients know what may happen to them.  I have made it my policy NOT TO fill any drug without thoroughly researching it, and checking if it can exacerbate my other health issues.

 

Anyway, this topic is about hope, without which we can't live without. So I'm happy to report for the moment that I have gone down to .5 mg/ml in my taper, and am feeling reasonably good.  Better than I have felt when I was in the 1.5 - .7 range.  We'll see what happens next.  One thing for sure, I just have to keep going, and believe that there's light at the end of the tunnel.  

Peace.

2005-2008: Effexor; 1/2008 Tapered 3 months, then quit. 7/2008-2009 Reinstated Effexor (crying spells at start of new job.)
2009-3/2013: Switched to Pristiq 50 mg then 100 mg
3/2013: Switched to Lexapro 10mg. Cut down to 5 mg. CT for 2 weeks then reinstated for 6 weeks
8/2013-8/2014: Tapering Lexapro (Lots of withdrawal symptoms)
11/2014 -8/2015: Developed severe insomnia and uncontrollable daily crying spells
12/2014-6/2015: Tried Ambien, Klonopin,Ativan, Lunesta, Sonata, Trazadone, Seroquel, Rameron, Gabapentin - Developed Anxiety disorder, PTSD, and Psychogenic Myoclonus
7/2015-1/2016: Reinstated Lexapro 2 mg (mild improvement, but crying spells still present)

1/2016-5/2017: Lexapro 5 mg ( helped a lot, but poor stress tolerance & depressive episodes)

5/20/2017 - Raised dose to Lexapro 10 mg due to lingering depression(Total of 2 failed tapers & severe PAWS)

9/11/2018 - Present: Still on 10 mg Lexapro and mostly recovered.(Extremely sensitive to stress which triggers Myoclonus.)

Intro page: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4149-lilu-depression-worsened-by-meds/

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Memory problems are very severe, i feel confused and dizzy, i dont really konw whats happening around me if you know what i mean.

 Olivia, have you heard of a supplement called Phosphotidyl serine?  It is recommended for memory and brain fog.  I found out about it by reading a review posted by a woman on vitacost.com where I was buying vitamins.  In turn, she said that she found out about it from Dr. Amen (who frequently appears on PBS (public television).

Here's some info:

Phosphatidyl choline – Helps increase levels of the neurotransmitter

acetylcholine, which is associated with brain speed and short-term memory function.

Appears to prevent further deterioration of mental function in Alzheimer’s patients.

 

Phosphatidyl serine (PS) – Occuring naturally in the brain, PS

supplement may reverse about 12 years of memory decline. PS is intricately

involved in the strength, permeability, elasticity and maintenance of the

structural integrity of all cell membranes, especially those of the brain.

 

Ginkgo biloba – May lessen age-associated memory impairment

(AAMI) and improve some mental functions in those afflicted with AAMI.

 

from: http://www.newyou.com/the-source/features/memory-lift/

2005-2008: Effexor; 1/2008 Tapered 3 months, then quit. 7/2008-2009 Reinstated Effexor (crying spells at start of new job.)
2009-3/2013: Switched to Pristiq 50 mg then 100 mg
3/2013: Switched to Lexapro 10mg. Cut down to 5 mg. CT for 2 weeks then reinstated for 6 weeks
8/2013-8/2014: Tapering Lexapro (Lots of withdrawal symptoms)
11/2014 -8/2015: Developed severe insomnia and uncontrollable daily crying spells
12/2014-6/2015: Tried Ambien, Klonopin,Ativan, Lunesta, Sonata, Trazadone, Seroquel, Rameron, Gabapentin - Developed Anxiety disorder, PTSD, and Psychogenic Myoclonus
7/2015-1/2016: Reinstated Lexapro 2 mg (mild improvement, but crying spells still present)

1/2016-5/2017: Lexapro 5 mg ( helped a lot, but poor stress tolerance & depressive episodes)

5/20/2017 - Raised dose to Lexapro 10 mg due to lingering depression(Total of 2 failed tapers & severe PAWS)

9/11/2018 - Present: Still on 10 mg Lexapro and mostly recovered.(Extremely sensitive to stress which triggers Myoclonus.)

Intro page: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4149-lilu-depression-worsened-by-meds/

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NoMeaning25

Derealization and depersonalization

 

 

 

Thank you very much for this. I really needed the hope and encouragement. I have only experienced one window, that was more than a year ago. I am really really hoping and praying that the DR/DP will lessen and go away. II have it very severely and like you, my memories are mostly gone.

 

I am very happy to hear that you are doing much better and that the DR/DP went away. If i may ask, was there anything specific you did to aid in your recovery? Diet, meditation etc?

 

I have severe dizziness too that i hope will go away aswell. My list of symptoms is enormous, but these few things are the most bothersome. If they would just go away i wouldnt mind the others, really. I dont have akathisia, but i have inner restlessness that comes and goes.

 

 

What is DR?DP?

 

Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010

Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks

Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better.

Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION

Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012

Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill 

Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma

Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 

 

6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms

Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello

 

I am partially recovering and it is not an easy rd but worth it

 

I also attend al anon and acoa. It has helped me with all aspects of recovery - which includes the reasons I was medicated for but never knew why I had horrid depression.

 

Now I know. I use the steps as an assist during  mindful, watchful taper. I am now facing my issues a bit at  time by working a 12 step prog and being gentle w myself. I also accept rolling through the difficult days and accepting them as they come rather than reacting to them.

 

Best wishes

I'M A WEANER!  :D 
atavan PRN ,Paxil approx 20 yrs ago for major depression
Switched to Klonopin PRN through to current
Paxil wore out
Changed to Effexor 
Depakote added
enormous weight gain - flat affect - led to depression - dropped depakote
Dropped Effexor, changed to Paxil 
PDoc added mixed salts amphetamines for ADHD - took for 2 yrs - was ok at first but had to cut as symptoms too intense -  then the crash was too much. STOPPED
Vyvanse started in 2013 (APRIL) - more smooth than IR amphetamine tabs---Have not used vyvanse daily in full amt since May 2013 

Paxil CT withdrawal 10/2012  :wacko:  Klonopin CT WD

Switched Klonopin to Xanax prn  - too strong

WD CT from XANAX after taking for a while - it was awful but can be done if you hold on!

Back to Klonopin PRN - working very hard to avoid taking it at all. 

Effexor 37.5 started 02/2013, 75mg by 03/2013, 150mg by 05/2012 (approx)  :blush:

Effexor 150mg 3/10/2014 Microtaper -3beads  :unsure:

3/11/2014-4beads ,3/12/14 - 5, 3/13/14 -6, 3/15/14 - 7, 3/18 - 8, 3/22 - 10, 3/24 - 12, 4/6 - 13, 4/7 - 14, 4/11 - 16 - on 4/19 ran out of brand took generic. Bad move. Back on brand on 4/20 and updosed 2 beads. 5/1 - 15, 5/6 - 16, 5/9 -17, 55/10 -17, 5/15 -18, 5/21 -19, 5/24 -20, 6/3 - 21, 6/6 -23, 6/13 -24,6/19- 25, 6/21 -26, 6/25 -27

6/28 -28, 6/29 -30, 7/3 -34, 7/8 -35, 7/17 -36, 7/30 -41,7/31 -42, 8/2 -43, 8/3 -44, 8/5 -45, 8/14 -48, 8/26-50, 9/24 -53, 10/24 -55, 12/1 -57, (lost the tally sheet, thus taper info for some of it), 4/19-63, 4/26-64, 4/30-65 Switched to wt reduction - now @ -.068, 7/14 -.070, August 2015 -.074, between Sept & October 10 -.077, Nov. -.078(feeling great), -.090 as of 1/10/16, down to  -.101 since January 2016 (it is now 6/24/16), -.105 as of 8/13/16
 
 

Ladies, please don't underestimate the possibility of perimenopause. The symptoms can be similar to, may intensify & in some cases mimic protracted w/d from ssri's & benzo's. 

 

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Memory problems are very severe, i feel confused and dizzy, i dont really konw whats happening around me if you know what i mean.

 Olivia, have you heard of a supplement called Phosphotidyl serine?  It is recommended for memory and brain fog.  I found out about it by reading a review posted by a woman on vitacost.com where I was buying vitamins.  In turn, she said that she found out about it from Dr. Amen (who frequently appears on PBS (public television).

Here's some info:

Phosphatidyl choline – Helps increase levels of the neurotransmitter

acetylcholine, which is associated with brain speed and short-term memory function.

Appears to prevent further deterioration of mental function in Alzheimer’s patients.

 

Phosphatidyl serine (PS) – Occuring naturally in the brain, PS

supplement may reverse about 12 years of memory decline. PS is intricately

involved in the strength, permeability, elasticity and maintenance of the

structural integrity of all cell membranes, especially those of the brain.

 

Ginkgo biloba – May lessen age-associated memory impairment

(AAMI) and improve some mental functions in those afflicted with AAMI.

 

from: http://www.newyou.com/the-source/features/memory-lift/

 

I think Alto tried that one if you search on here you may see her take on it. 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 1 month later...

An update - I am now at -48 beads of effexor. 6 wks later than my post up there ^

 

Was able to slow down the taper as I finally was accepted for coverage in hardship. 

 

I am doing ok. Some days are tough. But that is more than likely due to my living situation etc. 

 

No severe brain zaps. When on paxil I was suicidal more often than not. Started happening with effexor. I can attest that it is very different now. I do not think about suicide near as much as when I was on full strength. Sad to actually read that part in print. If nothing else, it serves as a warning re what this med did to me.

 

Thinking is pretty clear though I do not have the sensation of - - increased blood pressure to my head. Cannot describe. Some of my memory is foggy.

 

I am optimistic and hope all of you are still holding down the fort

I'M A WEANER!  :D 
atavan PRN ,Paxil approx 20 yrs ago for major depression
Switched to Klonopin PRN through to current
Paxil wore out
Changed to Effexor 
Depakote added
enormous weight gain - flat affect - led to depression - dropped depakote
Dropped Effexor, changed to Paxil 
PDoc added mixed salts amphetamines for ADHD - took for 2 yrs - was ok at first but had to cut as symptoms too intense -  then the crash was too much. STOPPED
Vyvanse started in 2013 (APRIL) - more smooth than IR amphetamine tabs---Have not used vyvanse daily in full amt since May 2013 

Paxil CT withdrawal 10/2012  :wacko:  Klonopin CT WD

Switched Klonopin to Xanax prn  - too strong

WD CT from XANAX after taking for a while - it was awful but can be done if you hold on!

Back to Klonopin PRN - working very hard to avoid taking it at all. 

Effexor 37.5 started 02/2013, 75mg by 03/2013, 150mg by 05/2012 (approx)  :blush:

Effexor 150mg 3/10/2014 Microtaper -3beads  :unsure:

3/11/2014-4beads ,3/12/14 - 5, 3/13/14 -6, 3/15/14 - 7, 3/18 - 8, 3/22 - 10, 3/24 - 12, 4/6 - 13, 4/7 - 14, 4/11 - 16 - on 4/19 ran out of brand took generic. Bad move. Back on brand on 4/20 and updosed 2 beads. 5/1 - 15, 5/6 - 16, 5/9 -17, 55/10 -17, 5/15 -18, 5/21 -19, 5/24 -20, 6/3 - 21, 6/6 -23, 6/13 -24,6/19- 25, 6/21 -26, 6/25 -27

6/28 -28, 6/29 -30, 7/3 -34, 7/8 -35, 7/17 -36, 7/30 -41,7/31 -42, 8/2 -43, 8/3 -44, 8/5 -45, 8/14 -48, 8/26-50, 9/24 -53, 10/24 -55, 12/1 -57, (lost the tally sheet, thus taper info for some of it), 4/19-63, 4/26-64, 4/30-65 Switched to wt reduction - now @ -.068, 7/14 -.070, August 2015 -.074, between Sept & October 10 -.077, Nov. -.078(feeling great), -.090 as of 1/10/16, down to  -.101 since January 2016 (it is now 6/24/16), -.105 as of 8/13/16
 
 

Ladies, please don't underestimate the possibility of perimenopause. The symptoms can be similar to, may intensify & in some cases mimic protracted w/d from ssri's & benzo's. 

 

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  • 3 months later...

Hey, I don't visit this forum very often and I was looking for some success stories to give me hope. I had a look through the success story forum but a lot of them were relatively short term recovery. I wondered if anyone here knows of any people who recovered over a longer timeline (5 years or over)?

 

I am currently approaching the 3 and half year mark after going cold turkey from citalopram (6 months use). My symptoms are still pretty severe and I don't believe I will be fully recovered any time soon.

 

I actually can become depressed reading many success stories of people who have recovered after 2 or 3 years (or ever 4 as I doubt I will be recovered by then either). I feel so envious of those who managed to dodge this bullet.

 

I'm also interested to know if anyone has experienced "bad waves" after social situations. For me, just going into a social situation for a few hours can end up triggering a bad wave the following day. It has happened so many times now and so severely that it is a clear pattern. I figure something must be messed up in that part of my brain because I also have problems relating and having conversation with others as well. I've not seen many other people with these symptoms this far out.

 

Sometimes I feel like I am improving very slowly but other times I doubt that. It's so difficult to tell.

 

 

 

Also, does anyone know of a person who has reinstated after being off for years and what the outcome was? I figure as a last resort (a few years from now if things haven't improved) I may as well try the drugs again, maybe I am just dependent on them now.

December 2010: 10mg Citalopram

April 2011: 5mg for 2 weeks then cold turkey withdrawal - Extremely bad depression / no emotions

June 2011: Reinstated 10mg - After 3 weeks started getting impulsive suicidal thoughts

July 2011: Cold turkey - Withdrawal hell begins...

 

January 2021: Reinstated 0.1mg Citalopram as last resort

February 2021: 0.2mg Citalopram for 2 days had bad foggy head so went back down to 0.1mg

Upon reducing I experienced low mood, suicidal thoughts, burning up, low appetite, very bad insomnia, mild diarrhoea

22 Feb 2021: Stopped all Citalopram after panic / depression attack and crying similar to when I reinstated back in June 2011.

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Wishing you healing!!

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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I think Alto's recovery was over a pretty long timeline. Claudius has recently written a success story, I think his recovery period was something like 7 years. Have you checked out Gianna's story on Beyond Meds? I think it was somewhere around year 4 that she gained significant improvement, and she's still healing. I'm not sure what Jemima's time frame was but I know it was long.

 

I'm sure there are others but I think a lot of people, when they get to that point after years where they're finally starting to get their lives back, they don't hang around here much. They're well enough to get back into life more, but they don't really feel "done" so they don't write a success story, and by the time they're well enough to really finally say okay, I guess I'm better, this forum is just no longer part of their lives and coming back here to write a success story either doesn't occur to them or just doesn't sound appealing (not exactly the home of their happiest memories). 

 

What you'll mostly see here are people in the beginning and middle of the process. By the time you get to the end and you're starting to be able to enjoy life, you don't stick around here because you are SO done.

 

I've definitely met people, over my five years in this "world", who have recovered over longer time frames. I would say it's more the norm (to eventually recover even if it takes a long time) than the exception.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Hi Andy,

 

I haven't posted on the forum much but am here today reading.  I am 5.5 years off and I want to tell you that over the last few months I have finally been able to get back out into the world of the living.  I have signed up for an art class, Tai Chi classes, a Swing Dance Club and am volunteering at the Senior Center doing dishes or catering.   I am not fully recovered but have come such an awful long way that I must encourage you to keep going and don't look back.  Unfortunately it does take some of us a great amount of time to heal. 

 

I'm not ready to write a success story yet as I still have struggles with negative intrusive thoughts and nerve pain in the mornings but those too are much, much improved over the first couple of years off.  I am certainly not going to give up, not ever.  I have fought valiantly for my life and my health and you have too, stick around and wait for the rewards ok?

A 20 year history of always a combo of 4 psych drugs sometimes more.  At last I had this awakening thought "These drugs aren't doing me any good."  I listened and at that point made the decision to taper off the last drug cocktail I was on of Celexa, Lamictal, Klonopin and Seroquel which I did in one year.  (Shock and awe.) Drug free May 6/09.  Sure is a slow healing process.

 

"Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go;  it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow."  Alice Mackenzie Swaim 

 

 

Not a doctor ... blah, blah, blah.  Not giving medical advise ... blah, blah, blah

 

 

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Andy, please follow this forum. We encourage people to post success stories and from time to time, they do.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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cymbaltawithdrawal5600

I think there is a time for many when they are in the thick of wd (and for some this could still be happening several years out) that you are grasping for some shred of hope that this will eventually end. You start to seek out recovery stories but don't quite find what you want. There are recovery stories everywhere and there are enough already! But you want to find someone with your exact drug or your exact length of struggle who also has this or that qualifier and THAT is impossible to find. So you dismiss what you read and moan that you are unique and recovery won't ever happen for you.

 

I've got news for you: the fat lady hasn't sung yet. I will take any and all bets that you will recover, that anyone will, I just cannot predict when. You just have to stay alive long enough for it to happen. In my case, I read all the stories (and more than once) and what they did is seep into my subconscious. At some certain point (and never during my worst withdrawal times) they would pop into my mind and I could see there might be a light at the end of the tunnel and that now I can see it. You have to be able to recognize that you are always evidencing some measure of recovery (your depression isn't as deep, you haven't thought of suicide for the last hour, you slept 10 minutes more last night) even though it may get worse again. That is the body healing and it is erratic in it's efforts but in the end it will manage to pull it all together and you will be the new and improved version of 'YOU', sadder but wiser and more resilient to life's stresses. Those things start creeping up and you finally see them and you start knowing that it will happen for you. Unfortunately you can't force it, the body has it's own wisdom and timetable. You just have to give it the tools to work with. See my post here about what I think is important (it is in the last half).

 

Everyone on this board is a recovery story waiting to happen, their thread is a journal of how they are getting there. Read them all. (Except skip the beginning of mine, I was nuttier than fruitcake when I got here...)

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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I am substantially healed today. I was on meds between 1996 and 2009. In 2009 I tapered myself off of Effexor. 

 

Here is what has worked for me:

 

A sound and light machine helped me sleep. 

 

EMDR therapy put my severe depression and anxiety into remission. The EMDR therapist also provided a safe environment and supervision while I discontinued medications. The word on the street among EMDR researchers is that one cannot successfully complete this type of therapy if one is on medication... my sense is that any EMDR therapist will likely be very supportive and have a lot of helpful experience.

 

Neurofeedback training helped with the residual side effects of the Effexor. My worst side effect was extremely severe memory loss. I had to quite my job because I could not remember what was on page one of a document when I turned to page two. Today I am able to work again.

 

Slowly, slowly, year by year, I have rebuilt my capacity to feel contentment and joy. Exercise has helped. I pay a lot of attention to diet and nutrition. I try to spend a lot of time outdoors. I make sure I sleep. I periodically refresh my neurofeedback training. 

 

Best of luck to you. One can recover. It is slow.

 

The silver lining to this cloud for me ... I have a sensitive child who worries. Due to my own experiences, I know enough to keep him away from the medication peddlers and to teach him alternative ways to calm himself down. 

 

I never regained my ability to write poetry. So that is my long term goal. I will *not* give up. 

Advice in this post is based on personal experience and reading; this is not medical advice and I am not a doctor. 

 

History: Started Zoloft 1996. On and off meds (including Serzone, Buspar, Wellbutrin) until pregnancy in 2003. Started Zoloft again in 2004. Zoloft lost effectiveness. Started Effexor low dose. In 2006, began crash and burn. Nightmares. Memory loss. Very severe depression. Loss of appetite. Insomnia. Sleeping pills did not work. In 2007, hit bottom. Very high doses of medication did not work. In 2008, sought alternatives. Entered EMDR therapy. EMDR gave relief from severe depression and anxiety after a few sessions. In 2009, I tapered off Effexor grain by grain. EMDR helped. Exercise helped. Better nutrition helped. Left with severe memory loss, probably due to Effexor. Neurofeedback therapy helped me recover memory and got rid of last remnants of depression. As of 2014, memory is much better. I have slowly regained my capacity to feel contentment and joy. I continue with exercise, nutrition, and a meditation practice.

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Thank you for your update.It gives me hope.

I am a 61 yrs man struggling with wd from 4+years of Effexor use.

I am 28 months med free now.I really don't know how I've survived.

I have seen important improvement, longer and clearer windows, but still in the rollercoaster of hell.

For what I've read 4 years seems to be the magic number for a nasty drug like Effexor..

I am giving he good fight.

You are all my heros.

 

Blessings.

4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 

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Hi andy013, I tapered last year from 10mg lexapro to 2.5 started getting sever WD, so backed up immediately to 2.7 which stopped the WD. After 10 month on 2.7 I increased to 4.5 due to other reasons ended up severe reaction getting humorous severe problems physical, mental and psyc all so bad nearly disabled. My own experience is, reinstate or even increase after a long hold can be very very harmful, lot more harmful than WD itself. It's not only damages you in all ways but also makes your brain very sensitive. I used to be able to change dose by 1-2 mg without much problems but now I can't even tolerate 0.05 mg change.

 

If I can go back, I would rather hold on dealing with the WD instead of reinstate/ increase

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Unfortunately, reinstatement is the only way medicine knows to reduce withdrawal symptoms, but as we have seen, it doesn't work for everyone.

 

I believe the hypersensitivity to subsequent increases is created when the drug was initially decreased too fast. That is why we suggest trying a very, very small dosage for reinstatement -- because the hypersensitivity may already exist.

 

AlasLlama, if you feel your healing has reached a stable place, please start a topic in this forum (Recovery Success Stories) and write up your story now that you can look back on it. This will give a lot of people hope.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Altostrata changed the title to Success stories after many years of withdrawal syndrome?

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