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Zant808: 17+ years of psychiatric drugging


Zant808

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6/1/2018 - I've been sober for nine years now.  This is such a simple accomplishment for me because how could I ever drink again when I think of the horror that I experienced whether I drank on or off meds.  It's definitely not without it's bad reminder that had I not drank alcohol a little over nine years ago, in just a month I would be celebrating 11 years off of all psychiatric medications and would probably have healed from most of my iatrogenic damages.  Now I'm stuck in a waiting game hoping that I can be lucky enough to just get off Depakote and remain on just Klonopin and Anafranil...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, cheeseburger, sweet potato fries, lemonade, iced tea, skirt steak, peppers, onions, coconut rice, korean bbq chicken wings, chocolate chili pudding, peanut butter crackers, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  walking
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

2:00 AM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 5 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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6/2/2018 - Waiting was seems like an eternity to get the chance to drop to 375 mg of Depakote Sprinkles...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, chicken cutlets, mixed vegetables, salad, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter crackers, apples, strawberries, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 6 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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6/3/2018 - Waiting, waiting, waiting...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, loin of pork, mashed potatoes, carrots, salad, chocolate donut, peanut butter crackers, apples, strawberries, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 7 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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6/5/2018 - Family stress made me not be able to post an entry yesterday and I'm barely able to do one today.  My stepfather needs to be put away for good because of his dementia but my mother will not do so for financial reasons.  He is causing too much chaos in the household.  It was just lovely having police and EMTs in the house in the middle of the night trying to convince someone with dementia to go to the hospital instead of forcing him to go since he had a fall and has dementia.  Why is it that these "genius" doctors call video game addiction a mental illness now but they don't consider dementia to be one?

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  unknown but likely excessive
Diet:  ???
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  1 out of 10

11:30 PM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 9 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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6/6/2018 - I'm still feeling horribly depressed and I can barely function.

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, steak, stir fry vegetables, salad, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  2 out of 10

12:15 AM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 10 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

6/7/2018 - I feel so depressed...almost as depressed as I was when I was taking antipsychotics in the early 2000s.  This is awful...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, granola bar, turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, salad, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, strawberries, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  2 out of 10

11:30 PM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 11 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

6/9/2018 - I skipped yesterday's entry as I was busy in the city all day.  I'm only feeling slightly better with regards to depression and burnout...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, beef taquitos, pizza, chocolate chip cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, strawberries, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  2 out of 10

11:30 PM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 13 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

6/10/2018 - I'm not feeling like I'm being blasted into a deep depression with antipsychotics anymore, so that's a good thing.  But ugh, I'm only two weeks into this Depakote Sprinkles cut...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, chicken parmesan, garlic bread, salad, chocolate chip cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

12:30 AM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 14 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

6/11/2018 - Sigh...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, ham and pea soup, biscuits, salad, chocolate chip cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

12:30 AM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 15 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

6/12/2018 - I'm getting a cold or possibly worse so I feel like total crap...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, chicken wings, salad, chocolate chip cookies, omelette with cheddar cheese, green peppers, onions, avocado and tomatoes, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  2 out of 10

12:30 AM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 16 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Your diet looks a little better recently (assuming "salad" has greens in).  Are you able to get out for a gentle walk each day?

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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  • Administrator
On 5/15/2018 at 11:38 PM, Zant808 said:

A few days ago, my brand of the .5 mg of Klonopin was switched from Teva to Mylan because they ran out of the Teva brand.  So it was either take the Mylan brand or get nothing.  I wonder if this has anything to do with how I'm feeling since I'm on 2 mg of the Teva brand and 1 mg of the Mylan brand now?

 

Are you now taking 3mg of the Teva brand? Did it make any difference?

 

On 5/29/2018 at 1:52 AM, Zant808 said:

Wouldn't taking one of those men's formula type of vitamins be a good substitute for improper nutrition for now?

 

The vitamins really don't provide everything whole vegetables provide, including enzymes and roughage. They can't substitute for good nutrition.

 

If you got fresh broccoli, it would keep for a couple of days in the refrigerator, before you cook it.

 

How are you feeling since reducing the Depakote? Any changes overall?

 

Most gyms provide cleaning wipes so you can wipe germs off the handles, etc.

 

On 6/5/2018 at 8:46 PM, Zant808 said:

My stepfather needs to be put away for good because of his dementia but my mother will not do so for financial reasons.  He is causing too much chaos in the household.  It was just lovely having police and EMTs in the house in the middle of the night trying to convince someone with dementia to go to the hospital instead of forcing him to go since he had a fall and has dementia.

 

I don't know about "put away," but it sounds like the time is approaching for him to get nursing care because he might injure himself badly.

 

This family situation must be very stressful for you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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6/13/2018 - Yep, so I have a cold and still feel miserable...

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, orange chicken, quinoa, salad, chocolate ice cream, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  2 out of 10

11:30 PM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 17 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

6/14/2018 - So the cold has expanded into pharyngitis and the doctors believe it is viral so I cannot take any antibiotics.  I had an unusual cycle of mood changes and odd temporary reversal of PSSD symptoms but now I'm feeling numb again.  At about 8:00 PM, I felt like I was about to pass out from exhaustion even though I didn't do much today, so I just tried to rest and watch TV but I wound up in and out of nightmare-like dream states where I felt like I was half awake and half asleep.  I've been cycled through 3 different brands of Klonopin within a month's time.  Teva, Mylan and now I'm forced to take Solco Healthcare brand because that's all the pharmacy has a supply of now.  This is most likely due to the numerous lawsuits happening in the generic pharmaceutical space.  I wonder if the switch to the Solco Healthcare brand of Klonopin is causing all of these symptoms.

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, milk, cereal, chicken piccata, garlic bread, salad, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  2 out of 10

12:30 AM - 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 18 of cutting to 400 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment
On 6/13/2018 at 7:24 PM, Songbird said:

Your diet looks a little better recently (assuming "salad" has greens in).  Are you able to get out for a gentle walk each day?

 

The salad has a spinach base instead of iceberg lettuce.  I walk a little bit each day but that's if I have to do things like getting my mail etc.  When I actually put down "walking" in the exercise part of the progress log, it usually means that I have done extensive walking for miles throughout a major city like New York City.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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On 6/13/2018 at 9:30 PM, Altostrata said:

 

Are you now taking 3mg of the Teva brand? Did it make any difference?

 

 

The vitamins really don't provide everything whole vegetables provide, including enzymes and roughage. They can't substitute for good nutrition.

 

If you got fresh broccoli, it would keep for a couple of days in the refrigerator, before you cook it.

 

How are you feeling since reducing the Depakote? Any changes overall?

 

Most gyms provide cleaning wipes so you can wipe germs off the handles, etc.

 

 

I don't know about "put away," but it sounds like the time is approaching for him to get nursing care because he might injure himself badly.

 

This family situation must be very stressful for you.

 

My June 14, 2018 entry explains a lot of this.  I am forced to take Solco Healthcare's brand of Klonopin now because that is all that is available at my pharmacy.  In the past month, I've been cycled between Teva, Mylan, a hybrid of Teva and Mylan and now Solco Healthcare brands of Klonopin.  I have a mysterious cold and pharyngitis which makes no sense for me to have since the weather is finally warm.  After today's weird mood cycling, horrible half awake, half asleep nightmare state, weird temporary PSSD reversal, I really have no idea what's going on.  I only have frozen vegetables available now.  Yes, every gym has the mysterious unlabeled bottle of spray and a roll of paper towels.  But again, people just don't use it and I'm guilty of doing the same.  I don't think someone with such a compromised immune system as mine (one of Depakote's most common side effects) and the inability to reach restorative stages of sleep can avoid getting sick.  By not going to the gym, I don't have any physical pain and my plantar fasciitis has gone away.  I might have to go back to a gym to try and exhaust myself once I hit that critical point where I'm dropping below 4 hours of sleep which will probably happen when I hit the 125 mg mark of Depakote Sprinkles.  The family situation is still stressful especially because my family is still in denial that any of these medications have caused me any harm and they believe that I was going to develop bipolar disorder anyway.  They're just avoiding the blame for being part of the process that forced me onto Prozac in the first place.  I highly doubt my stepfather will survive much longer since he is only something like 12 different medications and my mom has been smoking for over 50 years, so she'll likely wind up with cancer just like my grandmother did and she is by no means a fighter like my grandmother was.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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  • Administrator
8 hours ago, Zant808 said:

I had an unusual cycle of mood changes and odd temporary reversal of PSSD symptoms but now I'm feeling numb again.

 

^ This might be a good thing from the Depakote reduction. Or did your drug intake schedule change at all?

 

It's possible the Solco Klonopin is a little different than the others. It may take some time for you to get used to it. You still need to exercise your feet, plantar fasciitis can be from the muscles getting weak.

 

Anybody can catch a virus from other people. Sometimes a virus cold takes a long time to go away.

 

Eat the frozen vegetables, after heating.

 

I happened to look at the Medicare coverage for hospice and in-home care (for my mother), almost everything is covered. Whatever your mother's fears of the expense, it's very likely you can find outside care for your stepfather almost entirely paid by Medicare.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 6/15/2018 at 2:12 PM, Altostrata said:

 

^ This might be a good thing from the Depakote reduction. Or did your drug intake schedule change at all?

 

It's possible the Solco Klonopin is a little different than the others. It may take some time for you to get used to it. You still need to exercise your feet, plantar fasciitis can be from the muscles getting weak.

 

Anybody can catch a virus from other people. Sometimes a virus cold takes a long time to go away.

 

Eat the frozen vegetables, after heating.

 

I happened to look at the Medicare coverage for hospice and in-home care (for my mother), almost everything is covered. Whatever your mother's fears of the expense, it's very likely you can find outside care for your stepfather almost entirely paid by Medicare.

 

URGENT FOR ANYONE TO READ:

 

On Friday, I had a verbal argument with my mother which triggered my stepfather who has dementia to assault me.  In self defense I pushed him down so I couldn't get hurt any further.  I wound up with the majority of the physical damages and my stepfather is actually fine and didn't even have to go to the hospital.  I called the police but unfortunately once they knew of my mental health background and because of the age of my stepfather and because he has dementia they arrested me and charged me with assault.  This is the first time I've ever been arrested in my life.  I spent time in jail just for one night but it was as bad, if not worse than the state psychiatric hospital I stayed in back in 2009.  Even though my medications are legally prescribed to me, they only allowed me to have Depakote and they gave me 500 mg even though I've been taking 400 mg for so long.  They refused to let me have the 25 mg of Anafranil and the 3 mg of Klonopin.  They also said they only allow the meds to be taken as prescribed on the bottle.  My pdoc had to stagger the times instead of putting everything at night because of insurance reasons.  They do not allow Klonopin at all because they said it is an abusive drug.  They gave me one 25mg pill of Librium instead.  I have no idea why they do not allow Anafranil there since it is only a tricyclic antidepressant.  They told me they would give me Doxepin instead but I refused it since I know I had really bad reactions to it in the past.  I didn't sleep at all  from Friday to Saturday because of not having the medications, the withdrawal effects, plus the loudness of the officers in the jail yelling and blasting music throughout the middle of the night.  I was released but under the condition that I do not return home until after my court date which isn't for almost two weeks.

 

So now I'm stuck at a motel and my nervous system is completely wrecked.  My pharyngitis is even worse.  I'm crying on and off.  My entire body is shaking from anxiety.  I feel way too much emotion.  I managed to take 375 mg of Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg of Klonopin and 25 mg of Anafranil at around 9:30 PM last night.  I was still barely able to sleep and I may have gotten 4 hours total sleep total.  My public defender told me that since I'm on disability, I have such limited options, so just to behave at home if I'm allowed back.  My mother said it is ok to come back home and says she will defend me at court.  The public defender says that I'm either going to get the charges dropped but if not I face 60 days to 6 months in prison.  I won't be able to survive in there because I'm too weak and they will start changing medications on me.  I have no idea what to do with myself.  I feel like my life is really totally ruined at this point.  I can't really handle any responsibility and I am very dependent on my mother.  I don't know if withdrawal from Depakote will ever be an option.  Being cycled on and off 40+ medications, the kindling effect etc. I think has caused too much damage to my brain and nervous system.  Plus, a whole lifetime of bullying and other traumatic events doesn't really help my condition.  I'm just lost as to what to do.  I feel completely hopeless.  I know I cannot ask for legal advice technically, but can someone please give me any type of advice?

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment
6 minutes ago, Zant808 said:

 

URGENT FOR ANYONE TO READ:

 

On Friday, I had a verbal argument with my mother which triggered my stepfather who has dementia to assault me.  In self defense I pushed him down so I couldn't get hurt any further.  I wound up with the majority of the physical damages and my stepfather is actually fine and didn't even have to go to the hospital.  I called the police but unfortunately once they knew of my mental health background and because of the age of my stepfather and because he has dementia they arrested me and charged me with assault.  This is the first time I've ever been arrested in my life.  I spent time in jail just for one night but it was as bad, if not worse than the state psychiatric hospital I stayed in back in 2009.  Even though my medications are legally prescribed to me, they only allowed me to have Depakote and they gave me 500 mg even though I've been taking 400 mg for so long.  They refused to let me have the 25 mg of Anafranil and the 3 mg of Klonopin.  They also said they only allow the meds to be taken as prescribed on the bottle.  My pdoc had to stagger the times instead of putting everything at night because of insurance reasons.  They do not allow Klonopin at all because they said it is an abusive drug.  They gave me one 25mg pill of Librium instead.  I have no idea why they do not allow Anafranil there since it is only a tricyclic antidepressant.  They told me they would give me Doxepin instead but I refused it since I know I had really bad reactions to it in the past.  I didn't sleep at all  from Friday to Saturday because of not having the medications, the withdrawal effects, plus the loudness of the officers in the jail yelling and blasting music throughout the middle of the night.  I was released but under the condition that I do not return home until after my court date which isn't for almost two weeks.

 

So now I'm stuck at a motel and my nervous system is completely wrecked.  My pharyngitis is even worse.  I'm crying on and off.  My entire body is shaking from anxiety.  I feel way too much emotion.  I managed to take 375 mg of Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg of Klonopin and 25 mg of Anafranil at around 9:30 PM last night.  I was still barely able to sleep and I may have gotten 4 hours total sleep total.  My public defender told me that since I'm on disability, I have such limited options, so just to behave at home if I'm allowed back.  My mother said it is ok to come back home and says she will defend me at court.  The public defender says that I'm either going to get the charges dropped but if not I face 60 days to 6 months in prison.  I won't be able to survive in there because I'm too weak and they will start changing medications on me.  I have no idea what to do with myself.  I feel like my life is really totally ruined at this point.  I can't really handle any responsibility and I am very dependent on my mother.  I don't know if withdrawal from Depakote will ever be an option.  Being cycled on and off 40+ medications, the kindling effect etc. I think has caused too much damage to my brain and nervous system.  Plus, a whole lifetime of bullying and other traumatic events doesn't really help my condition.  I'm just lost as to what to do.  I feel completely hopeless.  I know I cannot ask for legal advice technically, but can someone please give me any type of advice?

 

this is awful, so sorry to hear what has happened, those police cells are the worse place to be for someone in withdrawal, I once spent a full weekend in one over christmas many years ago and they would not give me my diazepem as it said take as needed on the pack,

 

not sure how it all works in the USA, will your stepfather not just drop the charges? if he started it and he is not injured then I don't think you will spend any time in jail, probably just get a warning or small fine,

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

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7 hours ago, dj2010 said:

 

this is awful, so sorry to hear what has happened, those police cells are the worse place to be for someone in withdrawal, I once spent a full weekend in one over christmas many years ago and they would not give me my diazepem as it said take as needed on the pack,

 

not sure how it all works in the USA, will your stepfather not just drop the charges? if he started it and he is not injured then I don't think you will spend any time in jail, probably just get a warning or small fine,

 

Thanks for reaching out to you.  I'm sorry that happened to you with the diazepam/valium especially during the holidays.  I found out quickly that cops treat everyone equally awful while in jail.  There are more rules for the staff in a psychiatric hospital.  It seems like police can do whatever they want to you.

 

My mother and stepfather did not press charges.  One of the cops / the state is what is pressing charges against me.  My stepfather has been in the stage of dementia where he cannot remember what year it is or what happened.  I'm not even sure he'll be able to make it to court.  My mom said he has no idea that he fell or that police were there and there aren't any marks on him etc.  But since dementia is a neurological condition, it is treated as something very real and something to feel sorry for, kind of like a child with cancer or something like that...how can you be mad at someone who has that?  Since what I have is bipolar disorder and it is considered a psychiatric condition / mental illness, it is viewed as evil and that is where stigma hurts everyone in the mental health system.

 

My mom wants to have an arrangement where I'm forced to go back up on 1125 mg of Depakote or the equivalent of Depakote ER.  From her viewpoint, I was doing fine during that period of time. She is tired of all of the failed withdrawal attempts and hospitalizations.  I can understand where she is coming from.  I just find it odd that she blocks out the year where I came off everything and was doing great until I drank alcohol and ruined my recovery.  My GABA system is destroyed and I'm guessing Depakote is the only thing that raises my GABA levels high enough for stability.  I'm hoping that I can survive the neurotoxic effects of these medications and there will be stem cell therapy that will be able to repair my brain and nervous system damage one day.  Right now, the stem cell therapy place I talked to doesn't believe they can help while I'm still taking medications.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment
On 6/15/2018 at 2:12 PM, Altostrata said:

 

^ This might be a good thing from the Depakote reduction. Or did your drug intake schedule change at all?

 

It's possible the Solco Klonopin is a little different than the others. It may take some time for you to get used to it. You still need to exercise your feet, plantar fasciitis can be from the muscles getting weak.

 

Anybody can catch a virus from other people. Sometimes a virus cold takes a long time to go away.

 

Eat the frozen vegetables, after heating.

 

I happened to look at the Medicare coverage for hospice and in-home care (for my mother), almost everything is covered. Whatever your mother's fears of the expense, it's very likely you can find outside care for your stepfather almost entirely paid by Medicare.

 

As you can see from my previous posts, things changed very quickly for the worst...almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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  • Administrator

I'm very sorry, Zant. You're going to have to explain to the judge that you have been a caregiver to your stepfather and, as he's become violent, his dementia has become unmanageable for you as a caregiver.

 

Can you get the help of a social worker?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I'm very sorry, Zant. You're going to have to explain to the judge that you have been a caregiver to your stepfather and, as he's become violent, his dementia has become unmanageable for you as a caregiver.

 

Can you get the help of a social worker?

 

Thank you for replying Alto.  I was told I qualified for a public defender.  I’m not sure what the difference is between that and a lawyer.  The courts are saying I cannot change the court date or time and if I say I’m not guilty there will be multiple court dates.  I’m being told to plea guilty by my family and they said I’ll be fine since I’ll be back on the 1125 mg of Depakote by then but that doesn’t make sense.  I’m going to the court today to get a better explanation of what I need to do.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment

Just reading your post Zant as you are on similar stuff to what I am taking.

 

I am sorry you have had to deal with alot of drama. I think sometimes we have to seperate real life anxiety (anxiety that happens to all people whp don't take medications) and the anxiety felt from meds. No doubt it would have been a handful.

 

I can only say from browsing over your posts that what has helped me is asking myself. What was my problem 3 problems ago.

 

Then 2 problems ago,,, finally what was the problem before your altercation with the stepfather. And go from there.

2008-2012: Cymbalta, Zyprexa, Valium (5 days supply),

2012 - Seroquel x 4 weeks C/T. 

2014 - Seroquel x 2 Weeks C/T. Crossed to Risperidone 3mg for 6months until December.

2014 - Stopped Risperidone. Xfer > Anti-Depressant 200mg Zoloft and 6mg Clonazepam. 

2018 - 150mg Clomipromine changed Anti-depressant. Tapered Benzo to 1mg Clonazepam. 2019 - xfer to 20mg Diazepam. 

 

Currently:

Anafranil: 75mg. 17th Dec 2022 70mg. 27th Dec 22: 75mg, 14 January 23': 70mg. 16-26th January: 50mg (too fast drop no sleep). Jan 28th 2023: 70mg. 20 Feb 2023: 65mg. 11/06: 60mg 9/08: 55mg 15/08/23 : 50mg
3/03/2024: 60mg (Updose)

 

        Diazepam (V): 25th Oct 2019' 20mg. 22 Dec 19' 19mg. 04 Apr 2020' 18mg,  30 September 20' 17.5mg , 13 Nov 2020' 17mg. 01 January 2021: 16mg, 13th Aug 21' 15mg. 1st Nov' 2021 14.5mg. 1st Dec' 2021 14mg. 13 January 2022: 13.5mg, 11 Feb: 13mg.  11 April 22' 12.5mg, 12 May 22': 12mg, 6th September 2022: 11mg Valium. 9th October: 10.5mg, 25th Oct 10mg. 12 March 23: 9.5mg 2 April: 9.25mg 23 April: 9mg 12/05: 8.75 26/05: 8.5 12/09: 8.25 21/09: 8.5. 3/10: 8.25 17/10: 8mg 20th Nov Brassmonkey: (7.9.,7.8, 7.75) 5 Feb: 7.25mg. 23 Feb: 7mg 

*.      Have tried to go at faster rate than 0.5mg but is currently too fast. 

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  • Administrator

Don't plead guilty if you're not guilty. A public defender is a lawyer. Go to your local health agency and ask for a social worker as well.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
21 hours ago, Ryder said:

Just reading your post Zant as you are on similar stuff to what I am taking.

 

I am sorry you have had to deal with alot of drama. I think sometimes we have to seperate real life anxiety (anxiety that happens to all people whp don't take medications) and the anxiety felt from meds. No doubt it would have been a handful.

 

I can only say from browsing over your posts that what has helped me is asking myself. What was my problem 3 problems ago.

 

Then 2 problems ago,,, finally what was the problem before your altercation with the stepfather. And go from there.

 

 

It's difficult for me to think about what the previous problems were.  I was triggered by something, likely too much stimuli.  The barrage of medications have caused me to have iatrogenic bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder.  I have to accept that even though all the initial medications caused this, that I cannot survive without Depakote, Klonopin and Anafranil  in my system to keep me numb enough and calm enough that I can sleep.  I did not sleep well last night either and I do feel the updose of Depakote is causing burning sensations in my body.  I am hoping that I will be able to return to a safe environment and be able to sleep again.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Don't plead guilty if you're not guilty. A public defender is a lawyer. Go to your local health agency and ask for a social worker as well.

 

I will not plead guilty.  What I found out is that I do not even know who my public defender is until I appear in court, so I cannot discuss anything with him/her prior.  It doesn't make sense.  I will be seeing my pdoc this afternoon and I will ask about a social worker.  This could go against me because the pdoc might put me in the psych hospital today.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Don't plead guilty if you're not guilty. A public defender is a lawyer. Go to your local health agency and ask for a social worker as well.

 

 

Hey Alto,

 

I forgot to mention this in my last reply.  I'm just thinking of possible ideas if I'm actually able to get out of this situation.  I was wondering if there was a database of different clinical trials.  Also, I was thinking about stem cell therapy, going to the Mayo Clinic etc.  However, these things are not affordable to me right now.  Since my story is awful and one of a kind and likely no television show has ever come close to seeing something like mine, I was wondering if I could apply to one of these talk shows, go public with my experiences in the mental health system and see if they could offer something like stem cell therapy in exchange for sharing my experiences?

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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  • Administrator

Have you been ordered by a court to see a psychiatrist?

 

Don't try to argue about your medical condition. There are many, many papers about the adverse effects of psychiatric drugs but doctors have a hard time identifying them in individual patients. If your psychiatrist has made up his or her mind that you have a mental disorder, you might not be able to change minds at all.

 

You might state your case calmly and clearly: You believe you have been suffering from adverse drug effects for a very long time and you are dubious that you truly have bipolar disorder. You wish to remain on a minimal amount of drugs. If you are over 18, you have the right to make decisions about your own medical care. The psychiatrist must understand this.

 

Speak clearly and confidently. If necessary, calmly repeat your points. Do not argue, raise your voice, weep, or beg -- shows of emotion confuse doctors and confirm that what they're seeing is mental disorder. If necessary, practice what you want to say beforehand, this will make it easier.

 

Your family situation plays a huge role in your mental state, Zant. You need help with your family situation. It's not fair for your mother to force you to be a caregiver for your stepfather if he needs professional care. It's not fair for her to propose that you take even more drugs so you will go along with this plan. It's not fair that you have to sacrifice your nights and days to this plan.

 

You need a social worker or another mental health professional to help you deal with your family.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

Have you been ordered by a court to see a psychiatrist?

 

Don't try to argue about your medical condition. There are many, many papers about the adverse effects of psychiatric drugs but doctors have a hard time identifying them in individual patients. If your psychiatrist has made up his or her mind that you have a mental disorder, you might not be able to change minds at all.

 

You might state your case calmly and clearly: You believe you have been suffering from adverse drug effects for a very long time and you are dubious that you truly have bipolar disorder. You wish to remain on a minimal amount of drugs. If you are over 18, you have the right to make decisions about your own medical care. The psychiatrist must understand this.

 

Speak clearly and confidently. If necessary, calmly repeat your points. Do not argue, raise your voice, weep, or beg -- shows of emotion confuse doctors and confirm that what they're seeing is mental disorder. If necessary, practice what you want to say beforehand, this will make it easier.

 

Your family situation plays a huge role in your mental state, Zant. You need help with your family situation. It's not fair for your mother to force you to be a caregiver for your stepfather if he needs professional care. It's not fair for her to propose that you take even more drugs so you will go along with this plan. It's not fair that you have to sacrifice your nights and days to this plan.

  

You need a social worker or another mental health professional to help you deal with your family.

 

I wasn't ordered by a court to see a pdoc.  I went to see the pdoc with my mom today to explain the situation.  I got a letter in my favor.  I just have to comply with being back on the same amount of Depakote again.  What was upsetting to me was that the pdoc said there never was a mutual agreement for me to go off of Depakote even though that dates back to three previous pdocs.  How else did I get off of Zyprexa, Trazodone and one other milder med I keep forgetting the name of?  Also, the pdoc denied permanent side effects and claimed that there is always a solution for every side effect.  But anyhow, I didn't get thrown into a psych ward or anything luckily.  The purpose of trying to come off medications yet again was to escape the family situation.  But I'm at that point where I cannot withdraw from anything more.  The dozens of psych meds have caused an iatrogenic bipolar and anxiety disorder.  I'm going to see what unfolds here and hopefully I come out with no jail or another forced inpatient.  I will have to remain in the house and avoid speaking with my mother and stepfather.  I refuse to get involved with any type of caregiving with my stepfather.  Just a few weeks ago he had a fall and I was the one to help him and I got screwed over by him shortly after.  If he falls, I'm just going to let my mom deal with it.  Let the police and EMTs come and pick him up but I'll make sure I'm in my car and far away so I cannot be blamed for anything.  My mom told me she will never divorce him or put him into a dementia ward because he brings in too much money from social security and pensions.  I will need to apply for a counselor/social worker again.  There is quick turnover and high demand at the facility I go to.  I'm going to save up and perhaps do crowdfunding as well for getting stem cell therapy, going to the Mayo Clinic sleep disorder center etc.  There was a PSSD sufferer who tried SCT and while it unfortunately did not fix the PSSD, the person's sleep was fixed somewhat.  There has to be a scientific solution out there somewhere to repair the brain damage I have but it is just a matter of waiting a very long time and just trying to cope with living a life on disability while I see so many others thriving in life.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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  • Administrator

What amount of Depakote? How does the psychiatrist or your mother know how many sprinkles you take? Why does your mother go with you to appointments?

 

You don't necessarily have bipolar disorder, iatrogenic or otherwise. There are no grounds for your assumption that you have permanent brain damage. You do, however, have a fairly horrible family life.

 

Any doctor can prescribe these drugs, if you have a GP who will work with you, you don't have to go back to see a psychiatrist you don't like.

 

There is no such thing as stem cell treatment for a so-called psychiatric disorder.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What amount of Depakote? How does the psychiatrist or your mother know how many sprinkles you take? Why does your mother go with you to appointments?

 

You don't necessarily have bipolar disorder, iatrogenic or otherwise. There are no grounds for your assumption that you have permanent brain damage. You do, however, have a fairly horrible family life.

 

Any doctor can prescribe these drugs, if you have a GP who will work with you, you don't have to go back to see a psychiatrist you don't like.

 

There is no such thing as stem cell treatment for a so-called psychiatric disorder.

 

Thank you for having a positive mindset about this.  I am taking 1125 mg of Depakote Sprinkles.  They can know approximately what I’m taking because of Depakote level tests.  I’m below the therapeutic range and I need to get back up to the therapeutic range which happens when you are on around 1000 mg or so if Depakote.  I asked that she come to this particular appointment because of the legal issue.  She normally does not come to other appointments.  My GP can only prescribe antidepressants.  I was told that for medications involving bipolar disorder/ schizophrenia etc. such as Depakote it needs to be prescribed and monitored by a psychiatrist.  There is only one mental health care center in my area that takes my insurance.  I can only switch between psychiatrists at that center unless I want to pay around $250 an hour out of pocket which I cannot afford.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

Link to comment
  • Administrator

How often do you have these blood tests?

 

Have you discussed minimizing Depakote with this psychiatrist?

 

You still need a social worker or family therapist or something to help you deal with family issues.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 6/20/2018 at 4:02 PM, Altostrata said:

How often do you have these blood tests?

 

Have you discussed minimizing Depakote with this psychiatrist?

 

You still need a social worker or family therapist or something to help you deal with family issues.

 

Normally Depakote levels are taken every 6 months to see if you either fall below the therapeutic level or go too high into the toxic levels.  The minimum for me is usually around 1000 mg, but I have seen some people put onto up to 3000 mg.  My lawyer says that things need to be handled on a step by step basis in small bites.  Once the court case is over with, then we can work on having my stepfather removed from the house or have me moved out into a safe location with the assistance of a social worker.  I have recorded and written evidence saying that he said in front of police that he was going to murder me years ago.  This was before he had dementia or a stroke so there's no BS excuses that can be used there on him or my mom's part.  My head has cleared up a bit, and I think I figured out exactly what the issue is.  Check this out:

 

https://www.drugs.com/answers/i-have-been-taking-clonazepam-1mg-for-a-couple-if-428481.html

 
You'll see that Teva bought some crappy company and doesn't make the .5 mg and 1 mg pills anymore which were the ones I had used for 8 years.  Also, notice this at the bottom of the page from a user that posted just within the week:

 

"I have been taking clonazepam for nearly 20 years and this is the first time I've had an issue with the pill. This manufacturer is Solco. This pill melts in your mouth and seems to be less potent as I can't tell if I took it or not. It has to have some of the drug in it or I would have gone into seizures by now. I called the pharmacy and they are ordering new pills for me (other people have complained). I thought I was losing my mind until I did this search. I have taken the Teva generic in the past with no issues. Always a possibility of a 'bad batch'."

 

Now look at this article about how benzo withdrawal causes violent behavior:

 

https://www.benzo.org.uk/violence.htm

 

The person from drugs.com was doing well on the Teva brand of Klonopin like I was for 8 years approximately.  They switched to the crappy brand I'm on now which is Solco.  Who knows what the "real amount" of Klonopin I'm on is now.  It certain doesn't "kick in" so maybe it's like I went from 3 mg down to 2 mg or 1 mg!  Also it was even worse with me because I got switched from Teva to Teva/Mylan, then just to Mylan and then just to Solco and then after my stepfather assaulted me, I had mental health trauma and then the jail took away my Klonopin, took away my Anafranil, gave me a different generic Depakote at a higher dose, and gave me 25 mg of Librium which is only 1/6th as effective as 3 mg of Klonopin according to the Ashton Manual.  This will make anyone crazy and violent.  Teva and my pharmacy and the police caused this whole mess.  This is severe abuse of my brain and nervous system.  They ruined what was going to be a successful Depakote withdrawal by doing all that to me.  I was sleeping up to 16 hours a day when I had the Teva brand of Klonopin even on only 400 mg of Depakote Sprinkles.  The Klonopin absolutely, positively needs to be changed back to Teva, even if I use the 2 mg pills and I just cut one of the 2 mg pills in half.  I will likely never sleep normally or stabilize until this is done.  I need to bring this to my pdoc and pharmacy's attention immediately.  It's my life and I have the right to take the proper Teva brand of medication that helped me for 8 years.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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  • Administrator
14 hours ago, Zant808 said:

My lawyer says that things need to be handled on a step by step basis in small bites.  Once the court case is over with, then we can work on having my stepfather removed from the house or have me moved out into a safe location with the assistance of a social worker.  I have recorded and written evidence saying that he said in front of police that he was going to murder me years ago.  This was before he had dementia or a stroke so there's no BS excuses that can be used there on him or my mom's part.  My head has cleared up a bit, and I think I figured out exactly what the issue is.

 

This is good, Zant, keep moving forward step by step to change your life.

 

If blood tests are ordinarily less frequent, can you ask your doctor to stick to a more standard treatment plan with fewer blood tests?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

This is good, Zant, keep moving forward step by step to change your life.

  

If blood tests are ordinarily less frequent, can you ask your doctor to stick to a more standard treatment plan with fewer blood tests?

 

My best guess is that they are going to want a Depakote / valproic acid level every month now instead of 6 months until I can gain a level of trust back with "the system."  I'll do my best to keep the testing at a minimum.  These new young phlebotomists are very careless when taking blood too.

I've been on dozens of psychiatric medications starting with being forced to take Prozac back as a minor in the mid 1990s.  All doctors would cold turkey me from medications.  I did not learn about withdrawal until the mid 2000's by reading Dr. Breggin's books and finding sites similar to this one.  I had one successful full cleansing from medication in 2007 and began to recover from some of the iatrogenic damages.  I started to drink alcohol in 2008 to try and recover from PSSD and then about 6 months later, I lost my ability to sleep and was put into an inpatient psychiatric facility and redrugged.  The only med combination that has allowed me to sleep was 1250 mg of Depakote ER and 3 mg Klonopin.  However, my quality of life is terrible on these meds.  I want to try to get off everything now once again.  I have failed a couple of times trying to come off these meds recently but will try again once I can find a psychiatrist who understands withdrawal and can support me.

 

UPDATE:

 

I have not consumed any alcohol in over 10 years.  May 2019 - I started to reduce Anafranil very slowly so I can see a PSSD specialist.  I also plan on trying stem cell therapy to repair my iatrogenic brain damage.

 

Current meds:  1125 mg Depakote Sprinkles, 3 mg Klonopin

 

Current side effects:  PSSD, insomnia, odd sleep schedule, anhedonia, lack of motivation, cognitive issues, memory loss, hair loss, weight gain, dry mouth

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