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Newbies not understanding suffering (formerly CT or Rapid Taper Discussion)


Wildflower0214

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Ugh...I give up... Idk which is worse--my brain or this phone. It keeps shutting down in the middle of everything I am doing. I can't handle trying to pick a new one out, though, or trying to learn to use a new one!

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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I was put on it for situational anxiety due to my mom having cancer. I could have taken fish oil and taken up running and gotten a good counselor.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I often wonder if anyone will ever recognize what is happening to us. If anyone will ever know. If it will ever change.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I wonder the same thing, JDM.  I haven't spoken with my doctor, but from what I've seen, it appears many (most?) doctors don't even acknowledge withdrawal.  Sorry about all the extra posts I put in while messing with my phone.  I am now at home with my laptop, but I don't know how to delete them, or if I can delete them at this point :( 

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Thank you JM but I'm not really strong when really bad like yesterday I don't feel that I can be alone..was following my parents around like lost sheep yesterday. I really feel for people esp who are totally alone in this in the outside.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Joannad, I can't be alone either. My husband has had to arrange with his workplace to work from home. If I'm having an especially good day, I can be alone for maybe 30 minutes :(

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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I have no choice but to be alone unless one of my kids is here. I have no husband or friends or family to be with me. It sucks! And JDM I don't know when the docs will stop denying what is happening. I tried to talk to my doc and he laughed at me and shook his head. Then he said there are no withdrawls you probably need the meds. He treated me like I was crazy. I really am alone and no doctor will be helping me.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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Laughs? I would have swore at him..see if any doctor laughs at me when I see them ggrr!

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Thank you JM but I'm not really strong when really bad like yesterday I don't feel that I can be alone..was following my parents around like lost sheep yesterday. I really feel for people esp who are totally alone in this in the outside.

I'm sorry. I wish you could stay with your parents but I know that triggers bad memories.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Thank you JM but I'm not really strong when really bad like yesterday I don't feel that I can be alone..was following my parents around like lost sheep yesterday. I really feel for people esp who are totally alone in this in the outside.

I'm sorry. I wish you could stay with your parents but I know that triggers bad memories.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I have no choice but to be alone unless one of my kids is here. I have no husband or friends or family to be with me. It sucks! And JDM I don't know when the docs will stop denying what is happening. I tried to talk to my doc and he laughed at me and shook his head. Then he said there are no withdrawls you probably need the meds. He treated me like I was crazy. I really am alone and no doctor will be helping me.

I got mine to acknowledge it. She feels really badly. But that does me no good now.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Joannad, I can't be alone either. My husband has had to arrange with his workplace to work from home. If I'm having an especially good day, I can be alone for maybe 30 minutes :(

 

I can barely sit in the car and wait for my mom to come out of Walmart on some days.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Yep, JDM. I understand that. I'm right with you there!

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Well.

 

This week had reaction to numbing agent and then had to take something for GI. Awake. I don't know if I will sleep at all tonight. I know its from the drugs but both were necessary. I get urinary retention when I get GI problems and retention is a prescription for infection. So had to take care of it. :(

 

I want to sleep.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I'm right there with you, JDM. Still ramped up from my earlier reaction to being one hour late with snack... SMH. In an earlier post, you spoke of spending nights rocking in a corner. Well, that is where I am tonight. Pray for me please... Prayers for both of us... ALL of us who are going through this nightmare!

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Luv,

 

Praying!!!! So sorry! Hang in there!!! Let me know how you are in the morning. Praying hard now.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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JDM--Terrible! Please keep praying. Not only is the akathisia ramped up, but the panic is totally consuming me. I can barely breathe. Also vertigo and tinnitus is back. I rocked for a while in the rocker/recliner, then tried to lay it back and doze. No luck, though. Been awake since 12:40. This is different. My panic episodes had been fleeting... between 2:00 and 4:00 a.m., but not lasting long. This can't be because of a snack. Had to be coming anyway.

 

Did you ever get any sleep? I hope so. Sorry to be such a downer.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Praying now. Will go to my room in prayer now. I slept from 12-5 and woke up once, but when I woke up I had had a terrible dream, now tight burning chest, nervous stomach, anxiety, obsessive worry about sleep or getting worse couple with irrational thoughts of guilt that have come and gone and now are back. Not good.

 

But, grateful for sleep!!!!

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Yes, sleep is good. Sorry about everything else, though. Thanks for praying. I'm back to rocking again, and praying this settles some. The intensity has been unbearable.

 

Praying for you too.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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I wanted to multiquote this but couldn't manage it...

 

Alto:

 

It's not really a newbie's place to message you asking you to "do something" about your existing members who are feeling completely hopeless. Everyone's been a newbie, everything's scary at that point, what is even scarier is  getting past that point and then noticing that your situation is not matching with other members who have recovered. When I first joined the other site I was scared about a lot of things as most newbies are and will be. Reading the site was very distressing. But I would never have dreamed of messaging a mod in the type of way your suggesting other newbies are. There were articles/books which scared the hell out of me too but I still think they should be out there - I don't get this type of thinking at all. I have and continue to find this unmanageable but there is  some kind of saturation point with pain/trauma, no matter how bad you feel there are some parts of it that imo are completely mentally unsustainable, it naturally becomes something different. There are people going through the lamenting stage and they should have the space to go through it, not everyone can "self soothe".

 

"It's very, very difficult for staff", I can understand it being difficult, it's also very, very difficult for the person going through it. I would say that it's  much harder to be living that hell that is so scary for people to even read about than it is for "onlookers" affected by it. Regardless, what's coming out of this difficulty, is at times irritation and condescension and various other things that are uncalled for. I think silence is better than that. It's not "tough love", in fact that whole tough love argument is painfully familiar.

 

This isn't a gloom vs hope situation. And actually members/mods just trying to encourage people by insisting they'll get better is not really what I have the problem with at all. It's the disrespectful, condescending, paternalistic way people are going about trying to do this as well as some other things. Pseudo tough love doesn't help, the amount of people irl that have tried to give me this bs...People might be sincerely trying to help with it...they are sincerely wrong. It just makes people detach and withdraw. Unless your just looking to get rid of a behaviour (complaining) rather than actually help someone, it's NOT actually helpful.

 

"I sometimes think that a separate section, members only, for long term, protracted withdrawal, CT's and serious cases would be a good idea."

 

I can completely understand why you've suggested it be members only, this isn't against you...

 

But why do we need to be hidden in the back like some damned lepers? Why not hide all of it? Some people's experience in coming off meds is completely terrifying, idk how you get around it.

 

Journals should be a fine place to do this? I would never want to mess up anyone's head-space and am not even that bothered with people who personally believe much of this is a mind over matter for them as long as they're not being aggressive with it (like I have seen) and arguing it as fact. I feel like there needs to be a bit more acknowledgement of how bad it really gets, this site is all about research, well especially for research purposes. Both sites seem to have hit a wall when it comes to dealing with and discussing their worst off.

 

Why discuss it? What good does it do?

 

Well why does anyone want to know or discuss the truth even when it's bad.

 

I have to wait for a system I already know is uninterested and fucked up from the inside out to confirm it before I can think about major permanent damage being a possible reality? How many years away will that be? Until then people like me should just fake it here the way we fake it everywhere else, pretend we aren't thinking it? This place and the other place pretty much form the bulk of the w/d community and amount of people on both don't come up to even 1% of people who've been on/are on antidepressants. Yet largely from that we have certain guidelines and "facts", (a disclaimer come ups every now and then but tbh a lot of the time there are things on here pushed assertively as facts which aren't 100%). The same reason this stuff is pushed in spite of that is the same reason people like Iggy are out there wondering if they're part of this terrible group about to suffer for a long long time. There are naturally people making comparisons, looking for patterns, noticing who's symptoms fits with who or if their case seems different etc.  I'm not a negative person I've been dealing with this w/d **** since I was 18, before I even knew what it was. I went into everything I tried to do to fix it with hope. It is extremely insulting to read some of this stuff masquerading as positivity when I spent years unsuccessfully trying my hardest to think my way out of this.  There are people saying everyone recovers with certainty -this feels dishonest. And no I'm not arguing that telling people their doomed is the best alternative...

 

I also don't agree that if you become hopeless there's no point being here (if you still want to be), there are times when people lose hope. You can allow people to be "unrelentingly hopeless" (something practically everyone will burn out from vocalizing after a while) and have a forum which also aims to be positive/pro active.There are similar forums out there that do this, it's doable. W/d inspires hopelessness, we can't all be "brave".

I used suicide forums or crisis lines throughout the years when really desperate and I had absolutely nothing positive to say/was hopeless but it helped a tiny bit (really more than help it was something I needed to do) which when nothing else is helping, is something. There were reasons I never really felt comfortable doing that here but some people do and it's more helpful to them because they have people that can relate to here.

 

Alto, I feel that there are things people are more comfortable complaining to you about over others. There are things I've had issue with and things people have said that at I've been extremely triggered by that I never mentioned and would probably have never mentioned had I not felt like it was getting worse and for me personally, now at a point where this place is actually unhelpful. Leave? Yeah I will but me leaving has no effect on the stuff I've mentioned going on here. I think w/d people in general are used to feeling like a minority/marginalized, you would be more aware or careful about it happening to others.

 

There are similarities with the other site. Some of the stuff I now think about this place I said pretty much word for word about the old place. Something like a trigger warning should have been slapped on Iggy's thread before that situation became what it became. You had the majority of people insisting her thoughts on the situation were wrong/negative so why was there even this massive concern like she had the power to bring down the mood of the whole forum or that newbies would listen to her rather than everyone else ? Even she considered herself an anomaly. Some of the stuff said to her was plain heartless. Making people, even if it is a minority, feel uncomfortable enough that they don't post or outright locking someone's OWN journal because they're being too distraught/hopeless is pretty much as bad as banning anyway and it sends a message.

Used SSRI's for mostly 8 years.

Tapered over the course of approx. one year.

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I wanted to multiquote this but couldn't manage it...

 

Alto:

 

It's not really a newbie's place to message you asking you to "do something" about your existing members who are feeling completely hopeless. Everyone's been a newbie, everything's scary at that point, what is even scarier is getting past that point and then noticing that your situation is not matching with other members who have recovered. When I first joined the other site I was scared about a lot of things as most newbies are and will be. Reading the site was very distressing. But I would never have dreamed of messaging a mod in the type of way your suggesting other newbies are. There were articles/books which scared the hell out of me too but I still think they should be out there - I don't get this type of thinking at all. I have and continue to find this unmanageable but there is some kind of saturation point with pain/trauma, no matter how bad you feel there are some parts of it that imo are completely mentally unsustainable, it naturally becomes something different. There are people going through the lamenting stage and they should have the space to go through it, not everyone can "self soothe".

 

"It's very, very difficult for staff", I can understand it being difficult, it's also very, very difficult for the person going through it. I would say that it's much harder to be living that hell that is so scary for people to even read about than it is for "onlookers" affected by it. Regardless, what's coming out of this difficulty, is at times irritation and condescension and various other things that are uncalled for. I think silence is better than that. It's not "tough love", in fact that whole tough love argument is painfully familiar.

 

This isn't a gloom vs hope situation. And actually members/mods just trying to encourage people by insisting they'll get better is not really what I have the problem with at all. It's the disrespectful, condescending, paternalistic way people are going about trying to do this as well as some other things. Pseudo tough love doesn't help, the amount of people irl that have tried to give me this bs...People might be sincerely trying to help with it...they are sincerely wrong. It just makes people detach and withdraw. Unless your just looking to get rid of a behaviour (complaining) rather than actually help someone, it's NOT actually helpful.

 

"I sometimes think that a separate section, members only, for long term, protracted withdrawal, CT's and serious cases would be a good idea."

 

I can completely understand why you've suggested it be members only, this isn't against you...

 

But why do we need to be hidden in the back like some damned lepers? Why not hide all of it? Some people's experience in coming off meds is completely terrifying, idk how you get around it.

 

Journals should be a fine place to do this? I would never want to mess up anyone's head-space and am not even that bothered with people who personally believe much of this is a mind over matter for them as long as they're not being aggressive with it (like I have seen) and arguing it as fact. I feel like there needs to be a bit more acknowledgement of how bad it really gets, this site is all about research, well especially for research purposes. Both sites seem to have hit a wall when it comes to dealing with and discussing their worst off.

 

Why discuss it? What good does it do?

 

Well why does anyone want to know or discuss the truth even when it's bad.

 

I have to wait for a system I already know is uninterested and fucked up from the inside out to confirm it before I can think about major permanent damage being a possible reality? How many years away will that be? Until then people like me should just fake it here the way we fake it everywhere else, pretend we aren't thinking it? This place and the other place pretty much form the bulk of the w/d community and amount of people on both don't come up to even 1% of people who've been on/are on antidepressants. Yet largely from that we have certain guidelines and "facts", (a disclaimer come ups every now and then but tbh a lot of the time there are things on here pushed assertively as facts which aren't 100%). The same reason this stuff is pushed in spite of that is the same reason people like Iggy are out there wondering if they're part of this terrible group about to suffer for a long long time. There are naturally people making comparisons, looking for patterns, noticing who's symptoms fits with who or if their case seems different etc. I'm not a negative person I've been dealing with this w/d **** since I was 18, before I even knew what it was. I went into everything I tried to do to fix it with hope. It is extremely insulting to read some of this stuff masquerading as positivity when I spent years unsuccessfully trying my hardest to think my way out of this. There are people saying everyone recovers with certainty -this feels dishonest. And no I'm not arguing that telling people their doomed is the best alternative...

 

I also don't agree that if you become hopeless there's no point being here (if you still want to be), there are times when people lose hope. You can allow people to be "unrelentingly hopeless" (something practically everyone will burn out from vocalizing after a while) and have a forum which also aims to be positive/pro active.There are similar forums out there that do this, it's doable. W/d inspires hopelessness, we can't all be "brave".

I used suicide forums or crisis lines throughout the years when really desperate and I had absolutely nothing positive to say/was hopeless but it helped a tiny bit (really more than help it was something I needed to do) which when nothing else is helping, is something. There were reasons I never really felt comfortable doing that here but some people do and it's more helpful to them because they have people that can relate to here.

 

Alto, I feel that there are things people are more comfortable complaining to you about over others. There are things I've had issue with and things people have said that at I've been extremely triggered by that I never mentioned and would probably have never mentioned had I not felt like it was getting worse and for me personally, now at a point where this place is actually unhelpful. Leave? Yeah I will but me leaving has no effect on the stuff I've mentioned going on here. I think w/d people in general are used to feeling like a minority/marginalized, you would be more aware or careful about it happening to others.

 

There are similarities with the other site. Some of the stuff I now think about this place I said pretty much word for word about the old place. Something like a trigger warning should have been slapped on Iggy's thread before that situation became what it became. You had the majority of people insisting her thoughts on the situation were wrong/negative so why was there even this massive concern like she had the power to bring down the mood of the whole forum or that newbies would listen to her rather than everyone else ? Even she considered herself an anomaly. Some of the stuff said to her was plain heartless. Making people, even if it is a minority, feel uncomfortable enough that they don't post or outright locking someone's OWN journal because they're being too distraught/hopeless is pretty much as bad as banning anyway and it sends a message.

I showed up here as a newbie and got the crap sacred out of me. As I look back I understand the hopelessness that some feel. And I am regretful I did not comprehend that at the moment. I didn't know any better. Now I do.

 

I have been really hurt by some people who try to compare their situations to mine when they are on cocktails of drugs still and are numb out of their minds. I have been called "negative" and it really really made me angry. This person was taking high doses of seroquel to sleep and popping benzos whenever they were anxious and telling me I needed to be more "positive" about my insomnia and anxiety. Again, they were telling me this while in a drugged stupor.

 

I know it is hard on everyone involved mods and the people experiencing all of this.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Bells,

 

You have obviously improved...? What improvements have you had?

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Honestly, reading that this may be permanent makes me want to crawl in a hole and give up.

 

Disappointing at a point when I'm already nearing despair everyday.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I wasn't starting this thread to further despair, I was trying to give us a place to join together in similar experience, so that we could encourage one another in our circumstances.

Not to even accept that this is permanent. At a point when I'm not able to process things correctly, the idea that it may be permanent is unbelievably hard to handle. I'm beginning to cry as I write this. This is certainly not what I needed today, sleep deprived, in the middle of a wave from hell. I'm so disappointed. No words. I have to get off of here at the moment.

 

Just know that what is said, is said to those of us burning with sensations, sleep deprived, battling askathisia, tormented by intrusive thoughts etc... The list is endless. We need HOPE! It is life. It is all we have.

 

That was the purpose of this thread, to give hope to the few of us who congregate here, not to interject doubt. We already have enough of that.

 

Crying. Signing off for a while.

I'm sorry it has turned out this way.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I am not a newbie, and I have only been through only one near CT where the withdrawal was not recognized and I was highly medicated, so I don't know how hard it is, But I remember someone posting Hapoy Nee Year a year ago and I responded "there is nothing to be happy about, the only thing ahead is the drudgery of tapering." Looking back, this year has had some incredibly difficult anxiety, some horrible blow-ups at my loved ones, and the discovery of some root problems that actually have solutions. What I hope I have learned is that we don't know the future, and I am trying to receive the gift of living one day at a time without trying to predict the future. But there are surely some days when that is hard!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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This is not at all what I needed to hear today either. There are those of us that are not far enough out to even be considering whether it could be permanent. If you are still having symptoms that come and go, but are still seeing improvements, however small, then there is hope. Last night was the worst night I have had yet, and this morning, I have had a return of every single symptom I have had. It may last a few days, or even a week, Idk, but I hope (and believe) it will improve again. JDM, you spoke earlier of symptoms that had gotten better, but had worsened again. If it got better before, it will again. We have to hold on to that. Remember, there were things that aggravated your symptoms (your dental procedure), and this may take some time to resolve.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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I just did not need to hear this. I know it's the WD, but I'm just having a hard time.

 

It's like all the negative gets stuck in a negative feedback loop that takes weeks to remove. I just wish that people, anyone who comments on other threads would be careful. People say whatever in their own threads, if I read it, then that's my doing.

But, when someone is in obvious despair, for instance, you luv, I'm not gonna tell you "well, watch it cause it might get worse!" Even if that is a possibility, you don't need it in your subconscious... Just waiting to smack your brain when you're least suspecting.

 

I hope you are better..are you? I'm going to hold you in prayer all day.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Oh no luv2knit I am soo soooo sorry this is happening to you.  This withdrawal thing is truly bull s@#@!  I truly hope this is a short wave and you pull out of it.  THat is why I chickened out and reinstated a small amount which is now bothering my stomach.  I take low dose aspirin as well and was told the two together could cause a stomach bleed.  Great but I can't just stop either so now what?    I am stuck like this now for months until I can taper back off.  UGH!    I really feel for all of us.  I pray you find some peace soon.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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I am not a newbie, and I have only been through only one near CT where the withdrawal was not recognized and I was highly medicated, so I don't know how hard it is, But I remember someone posting Hapoy Nee Year a year ago and I responded "there is nothing to be happy about, the only thing ahead is the drudgery of tapering." Looking back, this year has had some incredibly difficult anxiety, some horrible blow-ups at my loved ones, and the discovery of some root problems that actually have solutions. What I hope I have learned is that we don't know the future, and I am trying to receive the gift of living one day at a time without trying to predict the future. But there are surely some days when that is hard!

Thank you. This is true. We don't know the future, and that is terrifying when you have CT off of a drug. Thank you for your words of encouragement. And for stopping by to post.

 

I hope you are well. I've read a lot of your thread, and I'm happy you have found solutions to many of your problems. That's great. I know for a while it was pretty rough for you.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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I've said this before, I feel like I get worse the more time I spend in here. And, it has nothing to do with the forum. It's a great resource.

 

I expose myself to stuff that scares the hell out of me and it takes what seems like forever to get over it. And, just when I think I'm over it, somehing else pops up, or someone says something and I'm back in the loop. It's never ending and proof of my own instability.

 

But, I have nowhere else to go... My family is over it and they are tired.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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No, not much better, if any. Actually if I had a chance to do better today, it would be impossible now. Thank you to those who have shown support on this thread. I am trying to remain optimistic that this is just a bad wave, and pray it will be brief. During the last one, I about gave up that hope, but it did come to pass.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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I really wish there was something I could do to alleviate all of our suffering.  It didn't have to be this way.  IMO the doctors made it this way.  And I have no choice but to keep going back to that same doctor because he is the only doctor my family has and we can't go without a doctor.  and finding a new one won't change the attitudes of the medical community.  It will be the same crap with a different doc.  OH man this is all so crappy and my poor baby is on these poisons too and suffering health issues now.  God help us!

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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No, not much better, if any. Actually if I had a chance to do better today, it would be impossible now. Thank you to those who have shown support on this thread. I am trying to remain optimistic that this is just a bad wave, and pray it will be brief. During the last one, I about gave up that hope, but it did come to pass.

Prayers luv

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Agree, Frustrated. Prayers for everyone, JDM.

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Thank you, JMD, f or your kind words. They encouraged me. I wish I knew a way to encourage you, I know it is very hard. It is hard when you can't concentrate on anything helpful. I think some are helped by writing notes on other's threads, some are helped by learning, some by mindless things like knitting (I know how to knit, but would never be able to concentrate enough to do it when I don't feel well). I think it helps me to study, to try to know what I am up against, to try to find as many ways of tackling it as possible. But I don't know if it has helped me more than comforted me, maybe the same things would have happened anyway. It is maybe more of a coping mechanism. I read a radiologist's story of a cancer patient who would come to him as her status changed, asking him to project the slides of her cells on a large screen. She would just sit and look at them as she decided what to do next.

 

My grandmother had two rounds of horrible post-partum mental illness in the time before drugs. After the doctors finished all they could do, they recommended placement in a state institution. in the end, my grandfather took her home and they put her on a horse for hours at a time, and she did eventually recover (whether the horse had anything to do with it I do not know). At my worst in 2006, my husband would put our then-young girls and me in the car and drive throughout the countryside. He called that a "pony-ride," a term I did not wholly appreciate. Now my pony rides are Epsom salts baths...I don't know if they actually help but I use them as a trigger for " now I'm going to feel better." Back in the dark days of 2006' I had a lot of anxiety about 4 p.m.every day, a combination of the school bus coming (how would I possibly make it to their bedtime?) and the approaching dusk. Someone suggested making a cup of tea every day at that time and it really helped...a calming tradition. But for all of you who can't even keep food down, my heart goes out to you.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Thank you for your sympathy. It means the world to me. Really. It does.

 

Prayers are always appreciated. Kind thoughts are most welcome.

 

:) thank you again.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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