success ☼ ang: help and confidence needed

[Fresh]

Ha ha , turn the knob down a smidge till it's at a comfortable level.  

[ang]

  Yeah, took me awhile to realise that!    hahaha!I thought it was either on or off, and on was full..........   I now know what ECT must feel like without the sedative.

 

I couldnt work out why everyone was saying, ah mild tingling.................... mine was BANG!  :0    I dont suppose it helped that the machine was on, when I had the earclips on, when I stuck the USB from the earclips into the machine????   

 

My GP (who is skeptical)  had told me just to hang on to an electric fence?  Wasnt quite as bad as that????????????   

 

When I used the machine PROPERLY................. I find I can not tolerate setting 1, its uncomfortable.......,  2 is a bit weird, I think I like the setting 3.          While using it, it feels like I have a headache, without the headache,  sort of weird, but I know it is doing something!  And turned DOWN,  it is just a mild tingling on the ears.......                gosh I would swear the earclips are sliding off, but they are not..... weird.....

 

So Fresh, does it matter what setting? 

 

I am using it three times a day,   like 9.00am, 12.00pm,  3.00pm.................  should I try and use different setting each time ?

 

So far?  I was humming this afternoon, and can see the humour in me turning it on full, then plugging in the USB cable?

 

As for energy, and motivation?   I cut my fingernails  (weird, but that is a milestone, for me?)...... I actually went out into the sunshine, for a few minutes.............I weeded some plants.    I have an appetite, I actually had breakfast and lunch, and am preparing dinner.                  I have not done that in more than 12 months........  I just dont eat, most would be one meal a day.         I also seem to be more aware of things,  I feel like I am a part of the day,  not just sitting in a bubble.  Also, the last couple of weeks, I have felt this sort of anger, aggression, arrogance, all inside, horrible feeling, that is a lot calmer today.

 

And, it has given me a funny feeling in my throat, like a sore throat........ I have had this on and off, during WD,   almost like a mild dose of WD flu.  I had this a few weeks ago, also, and it went away.

 

I am going to listen/watch meditation music, while using the Bio tuner, if I can from now on.

 

http://altered-states.net/barry/update160/petetownsend.htm          I found a link that works for the WHO musician, that used the bio tuner to get off all his drug addictions (he was in a very bad way). 

[AliG]

Good luck with this , Ang . I hope it works for you.      I'm curious to see how you go . It sounds like you're off to a good start !

Hugs,

Ali

[ang]

Thanks AliG.               I am sure a lot of it is just actually having my brain focussing on something, some new research, some new hope that it will help...................  

 

 

 

I hope it lasts..........   oh well

[ang]

Day two of trial, of my new ubeaut Bio tuner............   I have also reduced seroquel and SJW recently.    I actually went out to the shops today...........had a shower, washed my hair yesterday.      I expect to do a dip, because of the reduction in meds.  

 

Last night I didnt sleep very well, I eventually fell asleep early hours of the morning.....    thats fine, I find this happens sometimes..............

 

I am glad my last bio tuner session was early, I do last session at 3.00pm,   thanks for the advice that it could be stimulating, and cause insommnia..............

 

Lets see what tomorrow brings.                  Nice an sunny in Albany, am looking forward to going for walks, and enjoying them, one day  

[ang]

I know this is out of place....................    Anyhow.    All those poor babies in Brazil, born with birth defects called microcephaly........   I work in pathology....  100% of those mothers of those babies, got DTAP in pregnancy, beginning May 2015, lets just call it the Brazil Experiment.             Zika is a myth, time it got the true name. That pretend mossie?  a hypodermic with GSK,   DTAP VACCINE on its probuscus...................

 

my fb is angela coral eisenhauer            read my timeline for scientific reports, and proof if you are interested.  

[manymoretodays]

Did anybody write that all up and get it submitted to a journal or Robert Whitaker or some kind of advocate whistle blower?  Mostly for abuse unless all those women volunteered and were told their risks which I doubt.  They probably got paid a small amount.  A real small amount.  I do believe in those vaccines though.  Diptheria, tetanus, and pertussis.  There used to be epidemics of Diptheria and Pertussis and many infants and children died.  Still some pertussis(whooping cough) that wind up in the ICU for long stretches.  So.....I don't know........no easy answer as far as which is less risk overall.  I think it is with getting the kids immunized.  Less overall adverse effects.  Not microcephaly but maybe autism and learning disabilities.   So why are they doing studies anyhow?  What trimester were the women in?

 

Just babbling like I have some intelligence.

 

And how is the electrical stimulation going?  Definitely go with the low intensity.  Just common sense.

 

Brushed my teeth.  Made macaroni and cheese even.

[Fresh]

An activist called Gary Kohls has been publishing about the zika virus. He points out

that 35 countries have the virus , but Brazil is the only place where babies are being born

with microcephaly , and contends that it's from pesticides.

Worth googling him if you're interested - it makes a good read.

 

Ang , I think it's beneficial to use each of the settings. From the article you linked above

about the WHO musician , different parts of the brain are stimulated. Mix-it up , you're Bio DJ.

1 and 3 are relaxing

2 and 4 are stimulating

3 and 6 are neutral , Schuman resonance , for meditation

[ang]

Hi Manymore and fresh.                    I used the biotuner for 5 days  and felt awful, so had a couple of days off, tried again, felt awful...............         so not using it at present.                  Of course I have also done major drops in seroquel, etc, so I am really just hanging on.            Anxiety has suddenly hit with a vengeance,   and I still do not do much.  Try and shower at least weekly  

 

As for the pertussis vaccine, I worked in pathology during the first outbreaks in 2010.

All the whoopping cough (pertussis) outbreaks are directly caused by the aCellular vaccine, introduced in 1995.

 

 

The vaccine does not last very long,  maximum is ten years, average is 3 years  (yep after 6 juabs!)..............                Worse than this is the fact those vaccinated, are self protected, is their vaccine is still effective  (but like I said its effectiveness in only around 3 years average)...............                 What this means is those vaccinated, still catch, carry and spread whooping cough, they carry the bacteria in their throats, without actually getting sick themselves.   This whooping cough then gets spread, for 8 or more weeks.                     The bacteria in the throat dies...............               Then that same vaccinated person, gets re exposed, and catch, carry and spread over again                   and again  and again.

 

If they had stopped vaccinating in 2010, when they knew this, there would be no vaccinated carriers now.................  and we would again be safe in the knowledge, no symptoms no disease.

 

Instead they recommended everyone around a newborn be revaccinated, which made the problem worse.   Those recently vaccinated, as above, are more likely to be vaccinated carriers.

 

Babies cant be vaccinated at birth, as it kills them.                     Whooping cough in kids is mild, just a long lasting annoying cough.          whooping cough in babies kills them.............            So by vaccinating with this disastrous vaccine, now mothers, and siblings, no symptoms at all, are killing their own new babies.

 

Nurses have infected neonatal wards also,   4 babies got whoopiing cough,  but all those nurses were fully vaccinated , no signs of illlness.

 

In 2010, the outbreaks began, because the vaccine simply failed,  all the kids aged 6-12, fully vaccinated were getting whooping cough.

 

The Health Department, tested the kids with no symptoms, they also tested positive for whooping cough, they just didnt get ill, just carried the infection in their throats,   ie if the vaccine is working, it protects that person, but does not stop them being a typhoid mary, over and over.

 

So the next thing?  What to do?  How about pre vaccinating a baby before birth, so the vaccinated family, who could be carriers, dont infect the newborn?        So thats what they did, in Brazil, starting May ....... the microcephalic babies began being born in October.                                                  They removed the suss vaccine in December.

 

What they are not telling us, in mainstream media, is that USA has been vaccinating pregnant women like this for a few years now.............           but it is a voluntary thing.     So no direct relationships, unless you specifically ask, did you have a vaccine in pregnancy, etc etc..........               too many other variables.   But in USA 25,000 babies are born with microcephaly,             despite the fact in USA they have scans/terminations etc, which they dont have in Brazil.              

Brazil has a massive population,   some say similar to USA,  but even if their population is half,    25,000 babies a year microcephaly in USA,   doesnt raise an eyebrow, but 400?  in Brazil,  and suddenly it is blamed on a mosquito?  A mosquito that apparently hasnt invaded USA yet?

 

Thats my rant for the day,   gosh I gotta go and have a shower.......... send me a hugs someone!

[ang]

Yeah pesticides too,   anything in a pregnant woman, isnt good,  but injecting mercury, aluminium, formaldehyde, foetal cells, cow serum,   etc, etc, directly into the bloodstream of a pregnant woman?  Then telling her to eat healthy?  They are doing that to pregnant women, when all they need to do, is stop vaccinating, let kids get whooping cough, which they will vaccinated or not!           Once you have the real immunity, that gets passed on to neonate, naturally, and the breastfed babies dont get whooping cough..............                                          done naturally, immunity works,  but prevaccinating a baby, for the disease the mother already may have, because this artificial immunity, can not be passed to the baby?                How far do you go?             Lots more jabs, attempting to solve a problem caused by the jabs, with more jabs.............         crazy, but makes  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  ofro GSK, and the government machine.     Near everyone in government has shares in vaccine companies.   Our Prime Ministers wife runs one,       yeah they make billions for pushing vaccines......           Conflict of interest, of course!

[manymoretodays]

Hi Manymore and fresh.                    I used the biotuner for 5 days  and felt awful, so had a couple of days off, tried again, felt awful...............         so not using it at present.                  Of course I have also done major drops in seroquel, etc, so I am really just hanging on.            Anxiety has suddenly hit with a vengeance,   and I still do not do much.  Try and shower at least weekly  

 

As for the pertussis vaccine, I worked in pathology during the first outbreaks in 2010.

All the whoopping cough (pertussis) outbreaks are directly caused by the aCellular vaccine, introduced in 1995.

 

 

The vaccine does not last very long,  maximum is ten years, average is 3 years  (yep after 6 juabs!)..............                Worse than this is the fact those vaccinated, are self protected, is their vaccine is still effective  (but like I said its effectiveness in only around 3 years average)...............                 What this means is those vaccinated, still catch, carry and spread whooping cough, they carry the bacteria in their throats, without actually getting sick themselves.   This whooping cough then gets spread, for 8 or more weeks.                     The bacteria in the throat dies...............               Then that same vaccinated person, gets re exposed, and catch, carry and spread over again                   and again  and again.

 

If they had stopped vaccinating in 2010, when they knew this, there would be no vaccinated carriers now.................  and we would again be safe in the knowledge, no symptoms no disease.

 

Instead they recommended everyone around a newborn be revaccinated, which made the problem worse.   Those recently vaccinated, as above, are more likely to be vaccinated carriers.

 

Babies cant be vaccinated at birth, as it kills them.                     Whooping cough in kids is mild, just a long lasting annoying cough.          whooping cough in babies kills them.............            So by vaccinating with this disastrous vaccine, now mothers, and siblings, no symptoms at all, are killing their own new babies.

 

Nurses have infected neonatal wards also,   4 babies got whoopiing cough,  but all those nurses were fully vaccinated , no signs of illlness.

 

In 2010, the outbreaks began, because the vaccine simply failed,  all the kids aged 6-12, fully vaccinated were getting whooping cough.

 

The Health Department, tested the kids with no symptoms, they also tested positive for whooping cough, they just didnt get ill, just carried the infection in their throats,   ie if the vaccine is working, it protects that person, but does not stop them being a typhoid mary, over and over.

 

So the next thing?  What to do?  How about pre vaccinating a baby before birth, so the vaccinated family, who could be carriers, dont infect the newborn?        So thats what they did, in Brazil, starting May ....... the microcephalic babies began being born in October.                                                  They removed the suss vaccine in December.

 

What they are not telling us, in mainstream media, is that USA has been vaccinating pregnant women like this for a few years now.............           but it is a voluntary thing.     So no direct relationships, unless you specifically ask, did you have a vaccine in pregnancy, etc etc..........               too many other variables.   But in USA 25,000 babies are born with microcephaly,             despite the fact in USA they have scans/terminations etc, which they dont have in Brazil.              

Brazil has a massive population,   some say similar to USA,  but even if their population is half,    25,000 babies a year microcephaly in USA,   doesnt raise an eyebrow, but 400?  in Brazil,  and suddenly it is blamed on a mosquito?  A mosquito that apparently hasnt invaded USA yet?

 

Thats my rant for the day,   gosh I gotta go and have a shower.......... send me a hugs someone!

 

Hugs Ang.  I've gone from hanging (on) to grasping.  A positive change in the correct direction which is East I think.  For the moment anyway.

 

Okay.......I get it now.  Good informative rant.  The situation deserves a rant.

 

Hugs, hugs, hugs.  (((((((((Ang))))))))))  Multiple hugs look like angel wings...........ever notice that?  I sure am enjoying going through this stuff with you and all the other somebodies here.  

[ang]

Yeah, I am grasping at present also,  the stimulation thing made me worse, used it for 5 days,              then retried a few days later.                      Anything that upsets the old apple cart, I end up lying in bed all day, with all sorts of brain farts    not a nice experience.

 

On a good day I sit at the computer, at least I am upright...................   just trying to ignore the ruminations, the tears, the god, does it ever end?

[ang]

Oh giving up alcohol completely again...................   gotta try anything!

[btdt]

Hang in there Ang this too shall pass...

peace to you

B

[manymoretodays]

Yup.  More soft and gentle hugs........I'll throw in some virtual clean sheets washed in lavender water and then line dried.

[ang]

Thanks for the clean sheets!              Well it is 21 March and still struggling along.               Have dropped my seroquel again, from 18 x 3   tablets.............56mg                      to just taking at night, 1 x 25   plus  1 x 18     =  43mg.

 

If I can get up and moving without a morning tablet, that is better, otherwise I just take a tablet, get sleepy, and spend all day in bed, not good.

 

So heres hoping I dont crash and burn....................

[brassmonkey]

Hi Ang--  That's well over a 20% drop in dose which makes the chances of a crash pretty good.  I would suggest adding back in half of an 18 in the evening to keep to the 10% range.  You've been through enough pain in the past several months so please don't push your luck this way.

 

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

[ang]

My urine test              0.9 mg/L of fluoride........................... the only decent on line reference I can find, says the maximum should be 0.1mg/L fluoride..............................................                      anyone help here?  there is reference ranges for arsenic, for lead, for anything,   BUT NO REFERENCE RANGES FOR URINE FLUORIDE??????????????????? YES i SEE red!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WHY no reference RANGES                     WHY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AliG]

Hi Ang--  That's well over a 20% drop in dose which makes the chances of a crash pretty good.  I would suggest adding back in half of an 18 in the evening to keep to the 10% range.  You've been through enough pain in the past several months so please don't push your luck this way.

 

((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

I agree, Ang .  That's too big a drop .

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6632-the-rule-of-3kis-keep-it-simple-keep-it-slow-keep-it-stable/

 

Try to stabilize , if you can and focus on yourself , and your health for a while.

Hugs, Ali

[ang]

Hello everyone,  sorry only just signed in to read your posts,  yes I know it is too quick a drop,    I dont know if it was a bad thing to do, or not.........   wish I had not increased the seroquel, after my Nov 14 crash.... but had to survive somehow ....            well I guess I dont feel any worse, than the worse I have been before.............    I look forward to sleeping at night, to escape from the days,  I wake up with the dreads, but not as bad as 6 or so months ago..................

 

Looking back at signature, I need to actually congratulate myself for how far I have actually come, to get out of this drug nightmare.           Wow, after the 8 years of effexor, then the crash, and survival mode of 100mg zoloft, 400mg seroquol (?!!), mirtazapine 45mg,   and tegretol 400mg!            Yeah, why is it, first crash trying to get off their horror pills, ended up on 8 times the meds!            Yeah, reality kicked in.  The pills are deadly.                      But when I got my brain back, then the reality set in, that is hard to cope with,  what that effexor destroyed in my life.   Hope I can regain my self esteem one day.

 

I just feel so frustrated, that I am not well enough to sort of resume any life.....................but the guilts,  I try and block, or forcing myself to do things, as that just sends my anxiety through the roof.

 

Trying to stop the ruminations,  I am not the only one who has lost my marriage and finances  during this drug horror!        I can only wish this on those damn pharma people,  yeah they know what they do........  they deserve hell............   hope they go there!   And some psychiatrists,  yeah they know what they do also.

 

Anxiety is high, still dont do anything,  most I can accomplish is a shower every few days,  and doing the dishes every couple of days.  

 

If I updose, all I want to do is sleep, or lay down, and then I get the horrors.

 

I havent stabilized in the whole time I have been with you all........... and I thank you all so, so much for your support.                 The reinstatements only messed things up more,  nothing seems to work, so if I do manage to stablize on this dose, yeah would stay there.                  I really think the effexor was the worse, and I still believe I am having withdrawals from that horrid stuff, and all the stuff after that.............  I am so grateful I am not on SSRNis, or SSRIs   or damn mertazipine.              

 

So I am just keeping my head above water,   trying to pass each day, which is a cross of boredom, and horrific anxiety...................

 

When I have an appetite I am grateful,  nice to enjoy eating!

 

given up drinking again,          so dont know if that will help.............     

 

Hope everyone is having a great day, beware the April fools jokes!

[AliG]

Ang.      I think you do need to congratulate yourself .  You've been through a lot , and are starting to come out the other side , of this " medication madness ". ( to borrow a term .)  It may take a little longer , but you will get there.

Best wishes,

Ali

[ang]

Trying to think of what has helped me before..........................                   I think the main one, which I will have to force myself to do, and it is easy.   Twice a day, ie upon waking and going to bed.  Think of 3 things that I am very grateful for.   That was good.                                    Will start that one again tonight.   At the moment, I just feel like crying........         that is a new one,  havent had that for a month or two.  Just a bit weird, as I am not particularly sad.

 

Anyhow, things I am grateful for:

 

roof over my head

 

my son has found a job!!!!   James.....      Bunnings night fill, and that is a great start,  he only finished high school end of last year   .......    he is a very bright person  (and hated school!).

 

had my daughter here, with her partner,  and 5 grandkids, for easter..... love them all to bits, was a good easter. Attempted to go mountain climbing with them, didnt last long, but got out of the house!~  

my daughter is expecting baby number 6, with her new partner..    oh they are such a lovely family,  Collin is so, so great with all the kids.....           he is young, and just like one of them himself!  Fantastic to see her so happy, and such a happy family.                              Only problem is for baby number 5, she didnt make it to hospital,  like home birth alone!   Her husband got home in time, to wrap them in blankets!  She is trying desperately to get the OK to have a homebirth with midwife  (July)..                       but apparently bureaucracy says no!            Well she knows she wont make it to the hospital, and last time, the ambulance took 30 minutes!  like 28 minutes too long       She is so damn fit.  But she has a heart murmur, so apparently shes been told it has to be a hospital birth,            well, she cant stop those babies when they decide to come!   Damn the computer says no!     bureaucracy!  This is the Western Australian government apparently saying yes you can have home midwife birth, but the restrictions are so damn tight, apparently only 1 in 200 births end up being allowed at home?             Was talking to her today!  Laughing, like she said, if she had one of those birthing pools, couldnt have it half full waiting, the kids would be in it!  And if it is empty, when she goes into labour, no time to fill it!  hahaha!             So she is not paying $200 for hire of the pool..............  lets hope they eventually say OK to the homebirth, the midwife can be there in 5 minutes!     This time she is further from hospital, the ambulance aint going to be there in time! 

 

 

My other son, nearby, has found a wonderful job,  also, he and wife moved here with 4 boys a year ago..........               they are stressful,  marriage not going well............. oh well, cant do anything about that one! So glad he found a great job here................            

 

Just wish I could enjoy some hobbies, any hobbies,  I used to be so active,  now I cant even knit, or crochet, or anything!  Patience is the key!

[AliG]

Ang.      You do have a lot to be grateful for .  Many blessings !  

[ang]

So Ali,   how is the waves and windows for you?             I had two good weeks, beginning of December, but I was playing around with medications, etc, think everything just happened to balance for a couple of weeks!      

 

Nice to actually have that gap, of what life may be like someday again.

 

But I dont seem to really have windows and waves.............  I might get an hour or two in the afternoons, sometimes, when I am actually talkative, and walk around a bit.           Going shopping, or even damn paying bills (on-line!)  is a struggle, how ridiculous!

 

I forced myself to go to a friends house for a few days a couple of weeks ago.          A struggle, but kind of nice to come back with some nice memories.

 

I hope I might be able to force myself to visit friend again this weekend.             But kind of fearful of rejection....

[AliG]

Ang.      I have been in a " never ending  wave" , since November  !    Happy days .  LOL.        Practicing acceptance, and using all the skills / tools  I have acquired to navigate this , in the best way possible  . It's not easy , but I know it's temporary and  once I'm through it  -  I'm free !      

[ang]

Yeah, just been reading through your thread, catching up I suppose.         Yeah, I had two good weeks in December, then that was it!    And yes, I had one of those quotes too,  life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain!      Damnit, whoever wrote that crap, never went through withdrawals!               

 

So lets just keep floating, in the damn puddles, and wait for the storm to pass?

[AliG]

Thanks Ang .    I do love that quote !           I haven't been there ( my  thread )  for a while . I guess I'm avoiding it , as there is really nothing new to update .  I think  at this point , I'm relying on time and acceptance , as my main allies in this fight , as well as some supplements and other coping strategies.  I'm trying to build up my " tool box"  of  natural non - drug  ways  of handling , drug - induced  problems.  It is ongoing  ...   

[ang]

Hi AliG,         I am still struggling,  nose above the water!            I dont know,   my stupid fault for cutting like 20% two weeks ago.   I dont know,  I never felt good before the cut either!  Anyhow, is kind of weird, like I can feel a change today, like a few steps out of the abyss......................

Does anyone else feel like this, when they anticipate a window?                  Or is it we just get so damn low,  something in our psyche, says, kick yourself, climb out?

 

Hugs to you Ali G               !!!!!!!!!!  keeep strugglin!          One day the puddles will dry up, and we wont be drowning anymore.            Yeah, noticed you werent writing on your thread,  you helping others,  you are a true gem, in this struggle!  Thankyou for signing into my thread................. 

 

But do sign into yours every few days, others want to know you still surviving  

[ang]

Oh, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me,  tomorrow!

[manymoretodays]

Happy Birthday Ang!!!!!  There is a birthday page somewhere that I found once.  An Aires I think that makes you in astrology.  Something around when it's my birthday or shortly after always seems to naturally occur..........a comfort within that shines and helps all those around you in just the way they need to be helped.

 

I will try to tap into yours.  I got out Sunday......then over complicated it after with the obsessive thinking and analyzing stuff.  But I got out.  Trying to gear up to go to therapy tomorrow.  I'd like to go into the city and do it on my own.  I think I should set up a can't fail backup ride though just for the additional support and not feel bad about it.  Still waiting to hear if she has a spot or not though.

 

Do you watch any PBS series?  I love Call the Midwife and will go for one more round of that soon.  I picked some sage leaves and thought they might be dry enough to smoke........but they aren't so I am sniffing them vigorously, which helps.  I also picked up some kefir........blueberry, I hope natural flavoring.........that helps too........really tightened up in the gut again now and tough to relax much or enough to eat again.  So that's why I am writing I guess.  I have my calendar and writing pad all ready to go and am trying to write in cursive which feels a bit creative too.  Temperature is down again and windy but outside I keep going.........little 10 minute spurts even.  Birds, buds, and all manner of changing seasons is in our favor.

 

I'll try and compose a happy birthday something today for tomorrow though.......in your honor.  It may not be great and will just be words as I am nimwitted on shares and links again now........well, most of the time but sometimes a little more tech savvy.

 

Okay, Love you!  Boithday Girl!!!!!!

 

Many More.

 

Oh yes, me too.........I keep feeling on the verge too of even a whole couple days strung together that are just easier...........then I slide back...........then it happens again..........these are all positive healing signs.......... I don't know if it is related to the damn lows being so low............it's a definite sign of better days soon though.  I could complicate the heck out of it but that just doesn't heal me any more, never did really............and oh how I love to complicate the simple!

[ang]

haha thanks mtd    damn these idiots with long damn avatars!   WELL!  I now have wonderful gaming keyboard,  with blue lights on every key!  And a ""gaming mat"" and a wow, call it a mouse, it is a rocket ship,  buttons to forward, back thru pages, red and green and while illumination, and wowie!     at 57 STILL LOVE COMPUTERS!  well seeing as I was involved with computers before computers..............  

           Yeah my youngest son, first job, a few weeks ago,  18 now,  wow,  loooking at my keyboard,   wowie!  he is my near constant company  (ie the boor buggar has to live with me!)............      so such a wonderful birthday, I am in tears, and dont know why,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, called withdrawals I guess.     My damn daughter, sent me a  $30 booze voucher, and a card about alcoholics!  love her to bits, luv the humour!                 Nice to know people still love me, despite me be a useless thing at the moment!

So now getting quietly pickled on a bottle of red,   AND YEAH, I KNOW I WILL GIVE UP AGAIN TOMORROW  

[ang]

Yeah I am Aries, a damn ram,  I dont give up easily..................................And apparently a pig in Chinese astrology,  well why no damn appetite???????????????? confused      Everyone out there reading this,  keep your head above the waves  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Fresh]

Happy Birthday ang

 

"So now getting quietly pickled on a bottle of red, "

 

What is there left to say?

 

bw , Fresh

[brassmonkey]

Happy birthday Ang.  I'll make a present of not singing to you.

 

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

[manymoretodays]

haha thanks mtd    damn these idiots with long damn avatars!   WELL!  I now have wonderful gaming keyboard,  with blue lights on every key!  And a ""gaming mat"" and a wow, call it a mouse, it is a rocket ship,  buttons to forward, back thru pages, red and green and while illumination, and wowie!     at 57 STILL LOVE COMPUTERS!  well seeing as I was involved with computers before computers..............  

           Yeah my youngest son, first job, a few weeks ago,  18 now,  wow,  loooking at my keyboard,   wowie!  he is my near constant company  (ie the boor buggar has to live with me!)............      so such a wonderful birthday, I am in tears, and dont know why,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, called withdrawals I guess.     My damn daughter, sent me a  $30 booze voucher, and a card about alcoholics!  love her to bits, luv the humour!                 Nice to know people still love me, despite me be a useless thing at the moment!

So now getting quietly pickled on a bottle of red,   AND YEAH, I KNOW I WILL GIVE UP AGAIN TOMORROW  

 

"Wowie!!!! "  Sounds like a fun new toy and slightly activating.  Training for activism!

[manymoretodays]

That's great on the boy getting a job too.  Such a relief when they get going on something.  Mine is being dutiful and still better off with his Dad.  I kind of hope he makes it from there to his own place, an apartment or something in the city, and doesn't have further difficulties.  He seems okay.........like he is doing okay.

 

I think 57 was a pretty good year for me.  I especially liked being 55.......I'm not sure why but I think 5 is my lucky number or something.

 

Are you giving off the good birthday healing energy yet?  I will just assume it has been a good couple of days.