success ☼ ang: help and confidence needed

[ang]

 

we may be dumped by family, ignored by doctors, suffer from Lyme disease, suffer WD syndrome,  but remember, we never walk alone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,                   when walking through the rain, or waling thru hell, keep walking!

[ang]

https://www.facebook.com/kaykaren.lambert?fref=nf&pnref=story

[btdt]

Thanks Scallywag.         Surviving, just.                   Day 7 now after the drop, yesterday was the worst,  today a little better.  Physically:  Vomiting yesterday morning, that seems to have settled today.  Lethargy, mini panic at the thought of even doing the dishes!  Itching, horrible, scratching face, scalp,  I need to get some more zinc, that usually fixes the dry and scabby skin.  Very dry eyes,  feels even like I have sand in them sometimes. Oh, and no cravings for wine,   weird.  No desire for my usually enjoyed coffee.  Oh and for a month now, unexplained pain top right arm,  just weird, keeps me awake at night.

 

If I could describe my thoughts, especially when I wake.       Like all my life, all the bits and pieces left over go into a big box,    like we all have this box under the sink, or wherever, where we put the odd button, that we dont know where it came from, of the little screwdriver we might need, but have no where else to put it, the washers, the bits of fuse wire, all the crap, and the box gets full, but never used.             My brain feels like it is pulling out every bit of crap, over and over again.             I just wish I could throw the box away.

 

I want to live in the here and now, go for a walk, and feel the sun, but I cant at the moment.  A bit teary eyed also,  hope I make it out the other side.

 

The horrible bit is not one person, who isnt going through it, understands.   I am just a lazy slob             So many times before in life, going through this stuff, getting off this stuff, I have managed to drag myself up and out,  I cant this time, maybe it is because I dont have to, I dont have kids I have to get to school and stuff like that, I dont know.   This is the hardest thing I have ever done.   Effexor is the devil,  and all the rest are nearly as bad.  These pills send us crazy, then they blame the crazy, instead of the pills.        Greatest pharma scam ever.  

This is how far behind I am.... sorry I have not been well. 

I made a post today of something new in how the lungs react in a neuroendoctrine sort of way to smells... I know that is not the right words... but best I can pull together right now.. it is under the " mcs video"  thread bad title I know... 

 

I would like your input on this...please

[btdt]

Ah well, had one good day, back to the couch potato.................          am taking GC Maf,   and wow, that is knocking me around I think,  just cream, and as usual, I am overdoing it.    If I do have mycoplasma infection, it is killing it off, and making me feel more awful.         

 

I was just so exhausted this morning,  I had a shower, exhausted me so much went back and slept for another 3 hours!

 

OR this is just the up and down bumpy road, hopefully back to health!

 

Great facebook page, I found, called the Rampant Greenie...............    all about pharma fraud, etc.

I may be completely wrong I use to have to go to bed every time I had a shower I avoided it so much I was mostly dirty adding to my less than desirable listing for a dinner guest... much to add to the list of course but it sure did not help... 

 

one exception epsom salt baths yes I still had to go to bed but if I was really really sick I felt better when I did get up there has been tons of talk about it being the magnesium we get thru the skin that causes this effect but a new idea on the mcs sites is that the sulfates in the salts helps to detox chemicals. I am not sure about either....

 

however what came to pass is a multiple chemical sensitivity diagnoses for me... now back to the shower it was not my heart or bp or any of the things suspected it was the f..... soap and shampoo... reacting to the chemicals in them both.... I had it years ago.. it is back worse... I react violently to many chemicals with shaking and have to get away from it and rest in bed sometimes for days.... laying in bed jerking is my new pass time... I have tried to learn as much as I can but am still not up on it... using the computer sometimes bothers me too so it is a double whammy... 

 

it may be a good idea to ditch the chemicals in your life for scent free cleaners too... baking soda and vinegar... it may help you... 

 

mcs is supposedly a next step after chronic fatigue and fibro... but who the hell knows.... since it is extremely obvious now that chemicals make me vibrate.... for years is was other symptoms now my body is not putting up with any more crap none... the sooner you start avoiding them the better off you are if this turns out to be your problem too.... 

 

wishing you peace Ang....

[ang]

Felling awful,  just want to know I will improve.   Starting to wonder if I ever will.

[direstraits]

sorry,Ang....hang on,it will get better...I feel like I'm just starting to come out of an awful wave that started last week after I finally managed to clean the bathroom floor....wondering if the cleaner affected me after reading about mcs here. who knows?

 

hang in there ,Ang...sending healing thoughts your way....xo

[ang]

Oh Direstraits,    I am losing it..............                   How long can I go on feeling so low, so awful?   I have had one day, where I managed to go for a walk, and felt half normal.           I just feel I have nothing left, like my body and mind so worn out, no joy, nothing.   I cant even do simple things.

[direstraits]

I know...it can be so horrible..I get so desperate sometimes  I pray for God to take me but then it always gets better again...not 100% but tolerable.

 

praying that you can get to a better place, Ang...you will.

 

much love and hugs, ds

[ang]

I gave in to fear, and started taking 12mg of serouqel per night,   3rd night.             I sleep better, but I know there is a downside, I am sure it makes me feel worse during the day.   

 

That silly unlrealistic  hope that taking more, or taking womething,  will make me feel better.                  I started adding supplements a few weeks back, but they are not helping either.       The hope that taking more makes things better.  

 

I know the GC Maf did work, as I had a herx reaction, and probably still am having it.....    they say this is caused by infections dying off too fast for the body to handle it.

 

Got an appointment with a lyme literate doctor on 16th, hope I make it there.  I alos started taking colloidal silver.

 

Am getting MMS thursday, but again, if that kills off bad stuff, I have to do that slowly.

 

As usual, advice welcome, as  my brain is not working too well at the moment,             That fear and anxiety for no reason, is crippling, and the sudden almost shock like sensations, of panic as I try and fall asleep, or wake up, or try and relax are awful.  If only they would go away.

[ang]

Time to sign in.

 

Seems the effexor did a lot of damage to me.    Taken me years to get over most  of that.

 

Anyhow, I am still so unwell, two years off the ADs,     So,  I managed to find a Lyme Literate Doctor,  a lovely doctor, who I managed to jump queue and get to see, although I had to drive 450km.       Wow, that was an effort, but I made it.

 

Have CFS /ME.............  also Morgellans.

So, the cause of this? We have to find out.            Had so many blood tests, so great to find a doctor who cares!!  

 

Had the bloods sent to Germany, set me back about $1200.   Also lots and lots of other blood tests done.     Anyhow, felt like I was dying, so had it done.      Will be a while for results to come back.

 

Had hair analysis done!  wow that is interesting.              And also to top it off I have two variants in the MTHFR gene.           I should never ever have been on these pills, can not tolerate folate fortified foods, and this explains so much about me and my family.

 

Also explains why my vaccinated grandkids, are candidates for autism  (4 out of 9 have autism)........                      But seems my diet and healing, will be the same as treating autism.  Hope to get the Kerry Riveria book.

 

Anyway, that is my rundown...................                hope everyone else is plodding along.....    we WILL all heal.  Just keep plodding along until we do   .

 

Merry Christmas to you all xx

[ang]

Finally guidance of a decent integrative doctor.   Well one in Perth,  and now he recommended one where I live  (no names here, as decent doctors, ie Lyme literate, are persecuted).........   Started 1 tablet of St Johns Wort,   got a Vitamin B12 shot,  a methyl one!  One that works with my MTHFR genetics..........             Wow, feeling better, lets hope it isnt just the usual placebo hopefulness!

 

Had a day off from MMS,  my doctor, doesnt know what the hell this is,  I like a doctor who admits, they dont know. 

 

Damn, I will take it again tomorrow, will do 6 days on, and the 7th day off, as I have to make it to this doctor next Friday.

 

Hugs to all people out there, finding their health.

 

Anyway, so true, as Alto says,  the problems we had BEFORE antidepressants DO return, but these problems should have been sorted INSTEAD of the antidepressant crap................MIne ? damn MTHFR genetic problems,   DEFINITE for the MTHFR problems........................       think I may have Lyme,  I reckon 80% of us have this,        but takes more infections to cause a immune disability, ie the Lyme is the real AIDS.............. (my conclusion,  Hiv aint the problem at all!).

 

http://www.morgellons-research.org/morgellons/morgellons-intro.htm

 

 

I have morgellans, blood tests gone to Germany for confirmation................                               

 

 

 

wow, finally a doctor, that gives me a decent B12 shot,   not synthetic.....................                      Oh so silly of me, not to listen to advice on this site, and get MTHFR tested sooner.

 

And as for the CYP mutations,  I KNOW I have these, because from my research, I can not tolerate most SSRIs  SSRNIs and Dothiepin............................   I could tolerate Zoloft, but with my genetics, I had a heart defect baby, due to zoloft and methylation issues.........................          

 

All clear in hindsight, hope I live long enough to help others........... in this pharma fraud, nightmare......... seems people with genetic differences are the sacrificial lambs,         wow, thanks pharma fraud!

 

I struggle on to learn more.......... my kids have same genetics, and I have 4 out of 9 grandkids, who LIKE ME, can not tolerate vaccinations, etc, they had so many, four now have autism................

 

Test your genetics, cause pharma dont care, if you the sacrificial lamb......................                     to find out now, my exhaustion years and years ago, could have been because of MTHFR methyl issues, easily treated?        and instead they gave me antidepressants, and my CYP issues,  those drugs, sent me manic for years,  another caused me mania............?                   and they lie?             All I ever had was either a methylation issue and a liver detoxification issue?          But cheaper and more profitable to give an antidepressant, and send me mad?             F em.       

 

Edited November 12, 2018 by ChessieCat
provided new link

[ang]

To find out, yes, the damn Rubella jab as a teenager, WAS the cause of 18 months unexplained depression..................      My genetics, can NOT tolerate such synthetic artificial insults,  cant detox, this fake crap.......................

 

to find out the Nitrous Oxide I took for baby number three, was the most probably reason I went nuts?       

 

To find out the synthetic folate I took religiously, during pregnancies, was the probable cause of the heart defects in two babies?             This synthetic stuff, stops the 30% uptake of real folate  (with my genetics)//////////   to find out fortified foods with synthetic folate, make me sick?

 

Stop messing with our FOOD, monsanto and pharma, and government................... I refuse to be the sacrifical lamb and I refuse to allow my kids to suffer, this synthetic fortified food crap, that makes me and mine ILL@!

[ang]

well damn still feeling good,  my only problem ever? MTHFR genetics  angela coral eisenhauer   facebook

[ang]

 

B12 deficiency?  My only problem, MTHFR genetics,  and nitrous oxide, sending me post natal psychotic  (only one baby out of 5).

 

I cant tolerate synthetic folic acid, I am hoping, my only problems,  and my three sisters on ADs, for a damn vitamin deficiency?                        Get homocysteine and MMA  tested.             B12 says nothing, without the homocysteine and MMA........... with my genetics, B12 and folate looks OK, but it isnt, I can not USE the synthetic versions.  This genetic difference is VERY common.

No one should be called alzeimers, of depressed, without the CORRECT testing for B12 deficiency, and that doesnt mean a B12 test, without proper interpretation of the results.

[ang]

Hello friends.....................  I so regret going back on the 15mg seroquel, but I was so sick,                   now I find out probably just B12 deficiency, and I may have Lyme.

 

Anyway, now I am craving alcohol again........                         seroquel, and effexor, are the cause of this, I am sure. 

 

As I reduced, the alcohol cravings went.

 

Completely,  

Now back on 18mg, ran out of 15mg compounded seroquel,  the cravings are back.

 

Dammit I aint taking no more seroquel, over it, would rather not sleep than crave alcohol.             And that one B12 shot, like wow, I can sleep properly now..................  

 

Stuff these pharma drugs,  they cause us to be crazy.

 

God, I so hope my only problem, ever was that B12 deficiency...................                   I do have some sort of infection, lets hope it ISNT lyme, but looks like it is so far.  And I blame that on the antidepressants, covering up my B12 deficiency all those years, maybe the covered whatever infection I had all those years too.                                                 

 

Paxil script, doctor is happy to hand out.............                        B12 tests, homocysteine, oh no!

 

How corrupt this world has become.

[ang]

Second problem...................... I finally started to suspect, well my chronic ear infection, for 15 years!  my staph face infection, left side of face,  MIGHT have something to do with my teeth, I only have ONE root canal, left side,              and BINGO!

I was a root canal tooth, the only one I have.

First dentist  (despite me saying I can taste the ""rotten meat"taste from that 25 year old dead tooth  ""ie root canal"" he said tooth is fine.

I went to second dentist, who must have jabbed deeper, where I said the pus was coming from, so despite the bullshti about, cracked root, and more and more, he hit oil, ie pus..............

anyne  with any sort of illness  ie for me, has been CFS, depression, exhaustion, etc get rid of those DEAD teeth.

[ang]

Yes, this problem was there before mental health issues, CAUSE mental health issues, but damn antidepressants, more profitable, than admitting, leaving something dead, ie a dead tooth in the body, is the cause of this.

[scallywag]

Shoot, ang, it's awful that you've been dealing with a misdiagnosed dental issue for that long. I hope that correct diagnosis and treatment makes things much easier for you.

[ang]

H thanks skallywag,  do you have any root canal teeth?

 

Anyone with chronic ill health, and I mean mental issues included,  rip em out.

 

Thankyou for replying,  seems no one reads my stuff anymore..

 

I just hope that when I am off the augmentin forte,        that the infections dont resurface.

 

This morning, first day without rotten tooth, no fear, no panic, no brain farts  on waking.  I had a normal dream last night,  I havent had a normal dream for years.                                  

Say this to a doctor, they send you to a psychiatrist..............                      they cover or mask problems,  like having a fake smile on rotten teeth.

 

Do you have root canals, scalyway?

[ang]

this morning, my chronic pressure front lobe of brain,,,,,,,,,,,, turned into full headache,  sinuses, were inflammed,            that has nothing to do physically with tooth removal , but heaps to do with die off of the bacteria, in my brain, my ear, my face.                                 

 

Merry Christmas to you all, especially to you Skallywag for taking the time to repsond.

[ang]

And I love this support group, get off the crap, that is MASKING underlying issues.  Only off the stuff, can you rely on your body trying to tell you the problems!  Trust the instinct.  

   

       And in the meantime, those drugs, destroyed my life.        Anyway, feel like I won lotto, cause if this rotten tooth is the source of all my mental health issues, illness, low B12, high killer cells, etc, etc.   well cant buy health, sue them? who the hell do I sue, the bastard psychiatrists, the **** dentists, the local doctors, who put me on stuff OFF label?  The local public health dentist, who refused to pull the tooth, cause xray looks fine?

 

Take health into your own hands, no one will fix you, no one...............................   this crap of being honest, or they might get sued? is masking real health,  honesty is GONE for big pharma.  I got depressed, 2 years after the damn root canal......................... 

 

Sick for years, 10 years after root canal, chronic ear infection, 15 years.  Last few years, chronic skin infections............ wow, all staph, all same side of face as root canal tooth.

Operations, to fix ear,  still so chronic, staph infection, all from a damn pretty tooth, full of staph..............  You can not have a dead body part, without infection, a root canal tooth, is a dead body part.

[ang]

Anyway, I enjoyed a lovely roast last night, well pretty crap, but I cooked it!     I can smell again, I can taste again...........................                    all because I had a rotten tooth, but a canal filled tooth, with rot, or infected, which they all are, dont show up on a damn Xray,  if in doubt, rip it out./

 

Anyone reading this with mental health or other chronic health issues,  rip out the DEAD TEETH>

[ang]

Merry Christmas everyone........................

 

The road is long and awful, but we make it eventually.

 

Get off the pills, trust your instincts and get well.

 

Hang in there,  IT  DOES GET BETTER,  but you sometimes have to be in the depths of hell to work it out..........................

 

Thankyou so much to this support group, without it, I wouldnt be here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  

 

it does get better, be in control of your health

 

angela coral eisenhauer   (fb)

[doggiemama]

Hi ang just goes to show keeping unnatural things in our body is no good weather food,tablets or teeth. Glad you got it sorted good health to you

[direstraits]

I always read your thread,Ang.....glad you got the tooth thing sorted,that sounds awful...I think every root canal I had ended up being pulled,all my bottom molars are gone ,I wear a partial denture.

 

wishing you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

love,ds

[scallywag]

I've made it this far without having any root canals done.  I do have a crown on one tooth but the root is/was fine.  I should do more to maintain that status ... <sigh> ... someday.

[ang]

Oh gosh, I had great day Xmas  and boxing day,   the antibiotics 5 day course ended on Christmas day,   then I can feel it.             Yesterday, waking up to fear and dread, and shattered brain.     Dammit, I got my family here for Christmas till New year.  So I got the 2nd script, started taking Augmentin forte again for 5 days.   Fear and Dread and shattered morning brain, gone, immediately.  Exhaustion worse, now, and nausea back,  but I dont care, clear brain.  If these antibiotics had same effect as last course,  I will be up and moving again tomorrow.        

 

I am sure sure now, yes I have Lyme, or some sort of stubborn infection.            Or maybe, it will take longer for the tooth area to heal?

 

The wonderful thing, finally getting off the psych drugs,  is I trust what my body is telling me.               BUT?  trying to get a doctor to listen, that is the difficult part.   My lyme and co infections testing should be back from Germany soon, and hopefully if positive, some sort of longer term antibiotic, or other treatment can begin.

[ang]

Back feeling absolutely awful.                   Now diagnosed COPD  (ie emphysema)  never smoked in my life, never had lung issues.   Now got asthma puffer.                        Also CFS / ME.            Still waiting lyme test reports.    Spend most of the day in bed.           Now suspecting mould in my house, been here since I moved in.             I send some samples off to a place that does biological testing.

 

Fear and dread and shattered morning brain, back a little, but now just nausea, depression.

 

My son is starting to feel ill in the mornings too.      White and black mould in his bedroom,   I have grey sort of mould in my bedroom,   and black mould in bathroom.   Homeswest dont take me seriously, I know this has been real bad house for mould before I moved in  yeah, exactly when I started to get sick, 2 years ago.

 

Even the front glass in the window, looks like the mould had etched into the glass,  the marks are there.

 

I keep searching, trying to find out what is wrong.

 

I apologise to everyone, I was meant to send plants, do this and that.    I just cant do it at present. Apologies.

[scallywag]

ang, what an awful thing to deal with -- the combination of COPD and a mould problem in your house.

 

You may be familiar with alexjuice's story, link to his intro; he had to deal with a mould issue where he was living. If I recall correctly, many of his symptoms eased or fully resolved when he left that place. He had to take some extreme measures to get away from it; I hope your situation is resolved more easily.

[direstraits]

Ang, so sorry to read you have COPD...my MIL had it but she was aheavy smoker.

 

it just seems so unfair, but who said life is fair?

 

my thoughts and prayers go out to you.....xx

 

ds

[ang]

Thankyou so much,  I will read some of Alexjuice stuff as I am able.          I am presently of the opinion the COPD is  caused by the mould.       So hard, trying to keep a clean home,  sort out mould issues, try to eat,  while feeling so unwell.  It is pure torture.

 

In my case I believe my original  ""depression"" was just exhaustion caused by my MTHFR genetics,  ie no B12.         

 

Sorted that one now,  and body has only had about 6 weeks adjusting to actually having B12.            Also the rotten tooth,  finally, after 4 lots of 5 day antibiotics, that really seems a lot better, hoping residual infection is all gone.

 

And now the mould.              I thought it was withdrawals from the ads,  but I am sure now,   that this just coincided with moving into this mouldy house.                     

 

One thing about being so sick,  do have some good days to research, thank god for internet.

 

Also one thing I have learned, is getting rid of infections etc,  with antibiotics,                   when the stuff dies,  all the toxic waste has to be moved out by the body, and with my MTHFR, and other genetic differences,   I am sure I have the susceptiblity to mould, the HLA-DR also,              seems I have to feel worse, before I can feel better.

[ang]

Still waiting, waiting on Lyme test results,  mould lab testing for the house.         

Just seem like I am exactly where I was 12 months ago.        When does life improve?  God dont we all need patience?

 

At least the CFS has let up a bit,  I make it to the computer, that is about it.            Read somewhere, that CFS  or ME,  is sort of like the body going into hibernation.              Like our bodies get so overloaded, our immune system, everything, that the bodys way of coping, is to shut down, as much as it can.                Probably explains why us sufferers, can make it to the toilet,  eat, just enough to stay alive, and thats it.      I actually prefer it when the CFS is bad,   as my brain just is exhausted too, and it finally relaxes.                But the morning vomiting ie severe nausea, and inability to swallow, even a pill, is weird.     Never heard of that being CFS?

          

 

However, the horrible morning wake up brain farts are back,  hate those!   Sudden irrelevant images, and sheer panic, like an electric shock.

 

The not wanting to wake up, because another sh*tty day like the one just gone.

 

sorry people,  I shouldnt complain,  others have it worse than me

 

5 lots of antibiotics,  over a month,   2 different ones.  One is sorting out my ear infection, and the other one seems to be helping the lung problem.    Dont need the new asthma puffer for my COPD  (I had healthy lungs last year?).   I dont smoke, never have.                 

 

Hope and pray it is either Lyme or Mould.           That is something I can then work on to get rid of.

[Edie]

Hi there! I read that you were getting a tDCS machine? Did you ever try it? I just had my first session and got a bad headache and nausea. I'm also in effexor withdrawal.

[ang]

Yes I have a biotuner  and the other type  forget the name is that tDCS..........  I am thinking of selling both of mine.             One I never tried,  the biotuner,  well didnt seem to help me.     It helped Fresh, we are all different I suppose.    I feel for you Edie,   effexor is horrible, the worst of the lot.

 

Sorry to dishearten you,  however  but I was on 225mg  effexor? I think....   6 years I think,  and I made it off the stuff, and still alive.

 

I survived the first effexor withdrawal  disaster, by switching back to zoloft.

 

Have you had MTHFR and CYP  genetics tested?               That would give you a good guide what drugs you may be able to tolerate.    I found out the hard way, zoloft and tegretol didnt make me as crazy as the others?     

Having said that they are all evil drugs.  Once on them the battle is to get off them and regain your brain.             

oh from Estonia, I have a dear friend from Estonia, now lives in Australia.

Why are you desperate to get off effexor, does that give nasty side effects in you too?                   You have been jumping around massively on the effexor,   Jan 37.5             did you stabilize on that at all?           Then back to 75mg,   and am I correct, four days ago you completely stopped the effexor,  ie 75mg to zero?

Your brain is in shock, every change, your brain is desperately trying to adjust.     

[ang]

Got the mould tests back,  got 6 types of toxic Apspergillis moulds,  about four of them cause lung problems  (aspergillosis)  and there are about 3 other toxic ones.       All class A, toxic move out.    There are a few class B ones, and just a couple of others that are not so dangerous.                 Now find out the house was an ex meth lab.          I think what they have done, is the three wash cleanup  (been researching),       ie wash and dry walls, ceilings floor three times.             

I will be getting a meth lab testing kit, on Tuesday, and two saliva swab testing kits for me and my son   (unwitting meth contamination).            
However, by doing a poor cleanup, the moulds are more toxic than the original problem of the meth lab.  Now I know why homeswest original manager, told me he wanted to remove all the top soil from the small backyard, and replace and landscape it.      apparently, with meth labs, they have to remove the top 10 cm or so of soil, as it is all contaminated.         For every 1pound of meth made, they have 10 pounds of leftover toxic chemicals, which they burn in a burn pit  (yes we had a big black, pit where they had burnt things  (tradesman who came back to fix something told me),  and the back lawn will no grow.  My son laid on the lawn there to fix his car, and he ended up with scabs and cuts all up his arms, (grass dont do that).              

So seems out backyard is totally toxic,  gotta test from meth and chemical residues on Tuesday, and the house is full of all the toxic moulds known!        (but you cant see the mould, all in the plasterboard, in the walls).     The mycotoxins from these moulds are horrific, so it isnt just the lung infection from the moulds, but the dead moulds, and toxins they produce, have now contaminated out stuff too.

Homeswest will not move us, and are denying it was a drug house/meth lab.

[ang]

I need help here,              wow, I got a new job, great job, but 2hours away from where I live, ie live there during the wekek, tc.

 

My problem, I am terrified, know I HAVE TO DO IT<      to have a chance of the future.

 

How does one get over this terror,  like I am 50% wow,  new adventure, excited, and then the old, bad vibes, this has always fallen in a hole, you cant do it, you are so stressed you cant do it.

 

I NEED to do this for a future................   I cant tolerate valium pills, I have to do this.

 

My ill health has been caused by toxic moulds in a homeswest (crap ****, public housing)...............              my son and I pay more rent, than a comparable house, but we have no rent history................ so difficult

 

IE I have to do this, help me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,