melcita Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 No my mum's here but she doesn't really get how bad it is.....I just don't want to be like this anymore not one day..... Thanks for being here, xox Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I know. I'm in the middle of a CT WD and have just had to dose down ativan because of a paradoxical reaction. Today is the first day. And I'm scared. I'm glad you are not alone. I'm sorry you hurt right now. I do too. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 I understand not wanting to go through one more day suffering. I seem to wake up everyday with some sort of issues. They rotate. My legs and my head and my stomach and my back and my arms and feet and the mental ninjas in my brain etc... Pick a couple! It is so frustrating and tiresome. Hope you get a break soon. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
melcita Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Yeah I'm in a ct wd too....ativan is evil. ...that was my cold turkey... Hope you are safe too! I just don't know what to do with myslef all day....it'd awful Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
melcita Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Thanks frustrated! I don't have any physicals just 24/7; pure mental tordure. ..and I always think I should be doing something to help this along. Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Yeah I'm in a ct wd too....ativan is evil. ...that was my cold turkey... Hope you are safe too! I just don't know what to do with myslef all day....it'd awful Me neither. I just survive, wait for the day to end. Wait for the sun to come up on and on and on. I'm around here a lot Melcita. I'm never too far off... Just so u know... I'm close by. I'm in here all day. It helps me 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
melcita Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Thanks jdm. .... Same day same ****, I wish I would have any interest in anything I feel like a zombie. I just don't want to do this anymore...... It's awful! A nice day to you all! Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 26, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 26, 2014 I don't have any physicals just 24/7; pure mental tordure. ..and I always think I should be doing something to help this along. I used to think the same and would be critical with myself because I couldn't make myself get better faster. But beyond doing the best we can to take care of ourselves, getting rest, good food, some light exercise if at all possible, then its just time that heals the brain and nervous system. I also spend most of my days trying to find distractions from feeling awful, it does get better as more time passes. I don't feel as bad as I did a year ago and you will slowly start to feel better too. Its good you have your mum there, even if she doesn't understand how bad it is. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
melcita Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Thanks petu...... I talk to friends all day who are also sufferers but we make each other laugh. I prepare food or cuddle my dog. I'm not able to read or watch TV. ...since I have akathisia it'd hard to rest or nap.... I just hope something will change for me soon....just a little bit.... Thanks for being here for me. Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Hey there.. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
btdt Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Distractions for times like these ... walking... coloring... baking... knitting if you know how and even if you don't... I don't knitted anyway... tried.. draw a picture...make an abstract... pottery... play dough if you know any kids... computer games if you like them I hate them so don't partake... Deep relaxation on utube yoga on utube bath some ideas in case your looking peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 I bought a cd called yoga in bed... don't use it enough but it is great..not yoga person ...just a yoga in bed person easy peasy stuff. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
melcita Posted December 26, 2014 Author Share Posted December 26, 2014 Thanks for the suggestions. ... Feel like I'm getting worse by the minute. I feel so awful.....I'm sorry I can't be more positive Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 It's ok. Just keep talking. It doesn't have to be positive 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 So sorry you feel so awful xxx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Cdav Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Melcita, I just read your thread. I know what the horrible akathisia and not being able to sleep feels like. For me it comes and goes, so I do have breaks. And it is getting better. Hang in there, you will get better. I know that terrible feeling of wanting to escape from your own body. I'm sorry you're going through this without any relief. I hope you find relief soon. I'll pray for you. -Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months. -Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. -Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. - (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. - Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. -January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. -February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started. -March 2015: Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. -July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. -September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. -March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. -August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. Link to comment
melcita Posted December 27, 2014 Author Share Posted December 27, 2014 Jdm, joannad and cdav. ....This is great support.... Cvad yes that sounds exactly like me! I started sleeping a few hours now a few days ago so that's a progress. Thanks so much guys! Hope you are all ok! Lots of healing to you too! Xoxox Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 That's great your sleep is improving! Xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Jdm, joannad and cdav. ....This is great support.... Cvad yes that sounds exactly like me! I started sleeping a few hours now a few days ago so that's a progress. Thanks so much guys! Hope you are all ok! Lots of healing to you too! Xoxox This is fantastic progress!!!! Yay!!! You're going to be ok! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
melcita Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 I am very p off today. This is so ridiculous for all of us and why isn't anyone doing anything about this or acknowledging it. We should all be out there living! Nothing fighting and getting through each day!that's my 2 cents for the day. Sorry! Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
compsports Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I am very p off today. This is so ridiculous for all of us and why isn't anyone doing anything about this or acknowledging it. We should all be out there living! Nothing fighting and getting through each day!that's my 2 cents for the day. Sorry! I totally understand your frustration melcita. On a related note, I need to see my primary care physician to get wax taken out of my ear. I dread going because I know she will ask about my sleeping problems on the pap machine. I want to say to her it is your stupid drugs (even though she isn't responsible) that I fear have destroyed my sleep cyle and none of you MDs give a sh-t. Of course, I won't do that but yeah, I am angry too. I hope things improve for you. It seemed like in looking at your thread, things were improving? I know from personal experience when thing improve and then I have a severe setback, I feel devastated because it is just so tiring to get through a day. It sounds like that is what you are going through. I hope you feel better. CS Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010 Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006 Finished taper on June 10, 2010 Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016 Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia Link to comment
melcita Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hi comsports, Nice to meet you! My sleep is improving from 0 hrs to about 3. It's so nice of you all to stop by, even though I am a angry,scold in german most of the time lol. Yes, I'm just trying to get through my days?! It's crazy. Lots of hugs to all! It just has to get better! Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hugs to you too. Is that the view from your house? Wow, that's a lot of snow! 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 We like stopping by your thread. You've made us laugh! 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
melcita Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Lol joannad! At least I can still do that, that does make me happy, Yes that's the view from my window! Lots of snow. The poor dog had to pee last night at 2 am. He's really short lol so I had to shovel a path for him to pee! Did anyone feel like this too? I'm really really tired, but when I lie down I just can't stay there so agitated. That must be the akathisia too? And will leave right? Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 I am very p off today. This is so ridiculous for all of us and why isn't anyone doing anything about this or acknowledging it. We should all be out there living! Nothing fighting and getting through each day!that's my 2 cents for the day. Sorry! They won't acknowledge it because if they did they would be admitting they are at fault and would have to be made responsible for the damage. This angers me the most...the denial and lack of education surrounding these poisons. Thinking of you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
melcita Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Everyday I feel more and more discouraged and scared. It will soon be a year for me off benzos and I've lived in a torture chamber every second of the day for all this time. This can't be anymore. I haven't had a minute of relief ever. This really really scares me and makes it hard for me to hold on. There must be something seriously wrong, this may just be the way I am now. Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted December 30, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 30, 2014 Many people have felt like this and eventually turned the corner. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Sorry I don't know what to say..I'm in depths also..we are not alone xx <3 hug 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I'm sorry. I'm in a pit of suffering and despair myself. So, I don't know what to say. The thing that has kept me from doing anything drastic is knowing that all I want is peace, and if I cease to exist I won't have peace, because I won't be alive to experience it, I will have just taken away the opportunity to ever feel anything positive ever again, because I would be gone. So, if peace is what I am seeking, the only chance I truly have of experiencing it, is to stay alive. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Amen JDM. Well said. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
melcita Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hello lovely people,I guess I'm having a hell of a few days because I got my period. jdm thst was lovely said!! So so hope we get at least a little peace next year! Ugh! I started sleeping a bit... The snow got even higher now Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Your poor doggy in the snow. Best wishes to you xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 So happy you are sleeping !!!! That is my prayer for you, because I know when this comes, the rest will be easier to handle. Btw, your poor puppy. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
compsports Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Everyday I feel more and more discouraged and scared. It will soon be a year for me off benzos and I've lived in a torture chamber every second of the day for all this time. This can't be anymore. I haven't had a minute of relief ever. This really really scares me and makes it hard for me to hold on. There must be something seriously wrong, this may just be the way I am now. Your feelings are totally understandable. However, you might be interested in blog entries by this MIA Blog Author who got off of benzos successfully: http://www.madinamerica.com/author/msamet/ Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010 Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006 Finished taper on June 10, 2010 Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016 Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia Link to comment
melcita Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Thanks compsports, yes I know matt samet.....Thanks for the link, however his timeframe really really scares me. God I wish they had a cure for all of us. Thanks guys Nov2103-feb2014 1mg lorazepam cold turkeyFeb-march promethazineFeb-march dekapoteMarch-april st. Johns wortApril-may dekapote Nov single dose of low dose Antipsychotic 11 Months of pure Hell Link to comment
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