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Mattage


mattage

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Good job Mat! I'm not thrilled to see you've had trouble under 1mg, but at least its nothing new to you, and so its not like a horrid crash. Im very curious what will happen when the post taper period ends, and there are no further assaults to your brain. It might just wake up and say, whoa, its over! No one changed anything on me this month! Please keep us posted. I too am struggling a lot right now, but there have also been a lot of recent circumstances that could easily account for that so of course, as usual, i have no idea. I plan to stay at .9mg for a few more weeks. No drops until Ive felt better for a bit. At this point I no longer have a plan. Going to play it by ear but not drop until after.5mg at least.

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Update: last couple of nights were bad as expected, I felt jumpy and had body tremors, fatigue and a very flat mood (also very poor sleep). Have felt a bit dizzy and disorientated in the daytime. One the bright side, I have managed to go for short walks, eat OK and generally look after myself and the house.

 

THis is exactly what has happened during the last few drops, so I am not too worried atm (my condition is irritating rather than truly terrifying). I am expecting things to improve towards the end of this week/ beginning of next week. It will be interesting to see if this actually happens.

 

Alto: thanks for the supplement advice. I have tried fish oils in the past and they didn't really help much. I might give magnesium a try though.

 

Aberdeen: Yeh, it sucks getting bad symptoms below 1mg...everyone is different though, so you may do better than I have done. If the worst comes to the worst and you struggle, at least you will know that it is not 'unusual'. I can't see my brain snapping out of things quickly, as I think it will take it's time to adjust, but you never know I guess. It will be 'interesting' to find out. ANyway, I hope you hit a window soon. 

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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The morning cortisol party was a bit more mild today so I think its winding down. i was actually quite sick for over a week with a virus and a fever. i took a lot of meds to help me through and then there have been job interviews and basically its been a stressful few weeks on my body which makes me think this wave has more to do with that than the taper itself. My post taper jitters are usually milder than this, and like you, its usually about  2 weeks when I feel them so I know when they are. I think its reasonable to assume there will be some more time of healing after zero for you, and for all of us. But the constant change to the brain will be over and that has to help a tonne! Keep posting! So great you';re finally done!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update: 24/08/2015

 

Firstly, I am now a month off the poison. Woop!

 

Things have been both better and worse than before I hit zero, if that makes any sense.

 

The bad: I seem to be in a cycle of having a few ok days and then a few bad days. The evenings of the bad days are particularly rough. I am getting: racing heart, sweats, head noise, tremors in my jaw, head pressure, pins and needles, minor muscle soreness, muscle cramps and nausea. I have these symptoms at a lower intensity during the day. During the OK days, I feel a little fatigued and dizzy but other than that not too bad at all.

 

THe good: I've definitely had some small improvements in: sexual function (this comes and goes), emotion, memory and mental sharpness (I'm still nowhere near what I once was, but I notice I can now answer some quiz questions on tv again and my appetite for reading is returning a little).  

 

WHere I'm at: I think I can keep going drug free, as long as I get some OK days along with the good ones. I seem to have accepted that this post-drug period is another journey entirely, and that it may be some time before I feel recovered. I think I will undergo a lot more ups and downs before things start to plateau out but I'm OK with that. I'm going to try to take things easy and be kind to my body (with food, light exercise ect).

 

I think the next big moment will be the six week off mark, so I will write again then (unless there is a big change in the meantime).

 

Kind regards to all those in recovery

 

Mattage

 

Aberdeen: Yes, you look to be doing really well at the moment considering all the other stuff that is going on

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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congratulations on being med free.  there will be good times ahead I can assure you.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Thanks DaddyCee. That's what I like to hear!  :)

 

Did you go through something similar? How are things with you now?

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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Hi Mattage,

 

I'm nearing 2 years off from Escitalopram / Lexapro and all I can say is that it does get better, though I don't think you ever get back to where you were before these meds as you and life have moved on.

 

I still get periods of feeling lacklustre, low and generally not with it. I know / feel I am still healing and am looking forward to seeing how I am in another 12 months.  I also find that slowly I am getting better at handling work stress, I still feel wobbly when outside my comfort zone, but it is nowhere near as bad as it was 12 months ago.

 

For the past 4 months I have been waking with a nauseous feeling but once up and about this subsides.  This has replaced the anxious stomach feeling that I had for around 12 months and the clogged / blocked head feeling that I had for 6 months previous to this.

 

Keep at whatever you are doing, and make sure that you get me time and are able to take the stress out of your life for at least one of the two days at weekends.  I find meditation, exercise and eating healthily really helps oh and I visit a great Reflexologist and Holistic Massage Therapist every couple of weeks, which definitely keeps me balanced.

 

Cheers, DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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  • Administrator

Hi, Matt. Your symptom pattern matches The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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update: the bad days seem to be improving - I have more energy with less dizziness/brain fog, head noise, nausea and depression (to early to say if this will be permanent but I remain cautiously optimistic). Sleep still very poor though and still having a bad hour in the morning and in the evening.

 

DC: I'm glad things have improved for you and hope your remaining issues clear up soon

 

Alto: thanks, yes, definitely waves and windows patterns

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I just caught up with your thread Mattage, congratulations on achieving zero :)

Its great to hear your bad days are becoming less bad.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hello all! It seems a long time since I last posted. I am now 2 months and three weeks off Paxil.  

 

My initial hope was that, once I stopped the meds, recovery would be just around the corner. This did not happen for me however and I seem to have hit some form of WD again. THis could be because I tapered the last milligram a little too fast, or it could be  that it was just going to happen anyway (I guess there is no way of knowing for sure). Thankfully, I have been in contact with somebody who also went through this and have been able to adjust my expectations. I am thinking now that it may take me around another year to recover. After some initial railing against the god of justice, to which I received no reply I seem to have accepted this (of course, if my recovery is quicker - then happy days) and feel better for it. 

 

My current symptoms are: extreme insomnia (when I am drifting off to sleep, I get a sudden jerk which wakes me up again)

                                     palpitations,

                                     muscle pain - weakness, twitches and tremors (including those under the flesh horrible wobbly things),

                                     physical fatigue - short walks have become exhausting 

                                     high pitched head noise and pressure,

                                     extreme dizzyness,

                                     unpleasant intrusive thoughts

                                     

On an average day, I do get some relief of symptoms for a few hours. In general, the night and early morning are the worst times. I have decided not to try to reinstate (which may well not work anyway this far out) and to just battle through this withdrawal. I am hoping it doesn't get as bad as when I CT'd and I guess it probably won't because the tapering must have done me some good. The person I have been talking to was actually worse than me at this stage and still recovered within a year, so I know things could actually be worse and have faith that I will be better in time.

 

I hope I am not scaring other people by posting this. It is certainly not my intention to do so. I am hoping that it may be useful to other people who find themselves in this position.

 

I have also started taking aspirin to see if it relieves some of the muscle cramps/ pains I get. My thinking is that these pains may be circulatory in nature and therefore aspirin may help.

 

I think I will be posting more frequently again now because I think it will help me to get through this.

 

 Matt

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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Hey Matt, i am 6 months out now and when i was a month out i was nearly exhausted walking a mile. I am slightly better now and have easy exhaustion, bouts of insomnia and can NEVER sleep past 4 am. , and the worst is muscle fatigue and weaknes in my thighs and knee pain. We have very similar things going on. Do you have any weight loss? I have some frightining loss of weight especially in my legs, they dont even look like mine anymore! ! Last month i did a short mile hike up a mountain and went up an old fire tower another hundred feet of stairs and my legs were so weak i was worried i wouldn't make it down. I have done this same hike for 30 years and it has NEVER affected me like this. I was sore for 2 weeks. Myositis is listed as a side effect of paxil and it sure seems like this is what is happening to me. It happens when i started these meds and whenever i jumped off. But always went away back on them. Hang in there buddy.

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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Hey DLB

 

. I'm glad you have improved a little. When were you at your worse would you say?  

 

I haven't really lost any weight tbh. I do get muscle fatigue very easily though - can't believe I was swimming 50 lengths 2 or three times a week, only 5-6 weeks ago. Going to the local shop and back is about my limit at the moment - it's crazy. I guess we just have to take it very easy and not push ourselves unless we have to.

 

I will definitely hang in there mate. There's no way I'm going back on something which has made me this ill!

 

I hope your muscle problems ease up and you start sleeping well again soon!

 

Well done on reaching the six month mark too.

 

Matt 

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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  • Moderator

Hey Mattage-- Do you remember Timinjapan from Prior Place?  He had symptoms very similar to these when he reached three months off, as I remember they cleared in a couple of weeks and things steadily improved over the course of a year.  He's doing great now.  There haven't been enough people continue to post after they jump off so it is hard to get any idea of what is typical to expect.  From everything I have read the first year can be a bit rocky with steady improvement.  I think a lot has to do with the speed of the taper and the final jumping off point, but like I said there isn't a lot of information.  There is a real need to know so please keep posting about what is happening so we can all learn.  That goes for you too DLB.

 

BTW I'm sorry to hear that you've hit a rough patch.  We all hope it will be smooth sailing once we're off.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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I was at my worst at .5 mg. But since im off i would say 3 month mark i had anxiety and ruminations and month 4 and 5 occasionally but the physical things were there at month 2 and now again at 4 and 5. Oh, and Brass, i assure you I'll be here but im sure it wont be as often because that isnt too good for the healing either. .

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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  • Administrator

Sorry to hear you're still struggling, Matt.

 

How has the magnesium worked for you? This can help with muscle tension and anxiety.

 

Acupuncture might also be helpful.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Ah, I know those dreaded hypnic jerks well. I had them quite severely for a few months (most nights I wasn't able to sleep at all because of them and had to resort to a very tiny dose of Xanax to get any sleep at all), and then moderately for a year or so after that.

 

I would be very cautious with the Magnesium, especially if it's the Glycinate form. I was taking Mag Glycinate for my jerks and it really seemed to help at the beginning but somewhere along the way it turned on me. I didn't know this until I was forced to stop the Magnesium due to stomach issues and I found that my jerks improved by about 85%. Now they are a very rare occurrence and if I do get them it will usually only be one or two, and not ALL night like it was. Congrats on getting to zero!

 

ETA: By the way, I was taking the Magnesium right before bed so that may have contributed to the problem. Perhaps if you take it during the day it won't be an issue.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Hey Brass! Yes, I remember Tim very well. I read his journal a lot. I remember he had problems with head noise like I do. That's encouraging about his improvement. Hopefully I will see some relief in a few weeks.

 

DLB: thanks for the info. It will guide me as I go along.

 

Alto: I totally forgot about the magnesium and haven't tried it. I must get some.

 

JMarie: Long time, no see. Hope you are doing well. I will be careful when I check out the magnesium - thanks for the info. 

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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hang in there Matt, just some kinks to iron out, I think you'll be ok, its just a wave. It cant get worse from here, only better now. Nice to see you around again!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Thanks for the support Aberdeen. Even though it's a horrendous wave, I have had some WD normal days when things aren't so bad, so I think I can get through it! 

 

How on earth they (GSK) can keep dealing this evil stuff is completely beyond me, though! 

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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I know, its criminal.

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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You CAN do it Matt. Been where you are and got through it and getting easier! Those jerks you get while dozing off I had also. Sometimes it was like sleep paralysis and I suddenly jerked out of it breathless( you can imagine the fear when it happened in front of my wife or kids) this too gets less. I almost miss it now lol. You just hang in there brother and you will do fine.

 

Hey Aberdeen!! Nice to see ya, hope you are doing well!

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Unfortunately, I have needed to RI at 0.5 mg. I fell off a cliff about 5 days ago through my Wd. I had some horrific symptoms, the worst off which was a feeling that I was falling through the floor. It was exceedingly unpleasant, present all the time for the last two days, and made me feel suicidal., I just could not live with it.

 

Anyway , I RI'd at 0.5mg (today is the second day) paroxetine. The suicidal feeling left within 4/5hrs of RI (I k now some people says it takes 2/3 days for any changes to occur, but this was not my experience). So far, I am experiencing the normal side effects from starting paroxetine and have some symptoms of hangover from the wd. I am obviously hoping that the RI is not going to be unbearable, and, so far, the signs are good (very early days though). I am just very relieved that I no longer feel completely suicidal.

 

I just have one question. Do you guys think that I RI'd at the right level, or should I go higher/lower. I thought I would try 0.5 mg, stick at that level for a few weeks and see how it goes. Does that seem reasonable? Also, do bad reactions to the RI tend to hit immediately, or can it hit you later?

 

Any advice would be welcome  :)

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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  • Moderator

Hi Mattage--  I'm so sorry to hear that you've hit such a bump in the road.  Making the decision to RI is a tough one, but it is better made before the symptoms can really get their claws into you.  Using the smallest effective dose is the best thing to do and it sounds like this one is working for you, so I would stay with that for a while and see how it goes.  It's not the norm for an RI to show good effects so fast, but it does happen.  If you were going to have an adverse reaction, you'd know it by now, it usually happens really fast.

 

Looks like you're getting the control back, so just relax and roll with it.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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HI Brass. Thanks for your reply.

 

Looks like I spoke to soon, as the RI symptoms hit last night (seems strange that I went through a couple of days of total calmness before this hit). They are: extremely high heart rate, shortness of breath( like I have been running rather than sitting in a chair), feeling panicky, muscle soreness and jelliness,  head noise and feeling spaced out. To paraphrase, I guess it is mostly extremely high anxiety.

 

I decided to cut down slightly to around 0.4mg,this morning, because these symptoms were so strong( thank god I did not take 10 or 20mgs, which I am sure is what a doctor would be prescribing). Things do seem to ease up from time to time but they are also really bad for hours at a time. Oh well, I guess these symptoms are slightly preferable to the WD ones, so I have to tough it out. I am hoping the start up symptoms will lessen a little in time. I must remember that it was tough the last time I RI'd but I eventually managed to get through it (although I think it is a big worse this time).

 

I think I need to make a note of how things proceed throughout a typical/ day night (so I can hopefully work out the norm), which I will start here:

 

last night: very high heart rate out of nowhere, shortness of breath and head noise all a very high level - seemed to be worst at around 2-3pm. I did get a few hours of lull during the night though.

 

morning: I got up at 5am due to the extreme symptoms. These eased a little at about 930am but were still in the background (it looks like periods of very intense symptoms lasting a few hours and then maybe an hour or two when they are reduced) .

 

early afternoon: tbc

 

late afternoon:tbc

 

early evening: tbc

 

 

PS if anybody has any advice/experience to offer, I would be glad of any comments

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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Im sorry Matt! I hate that kind of anxiety too. I wouldnt go any higher personally, than where you are...I really think you are still in a window wave pattern thing, and as they do, waves will pass on their own. I'm hoping the days get easier and easier for you! Hang in there. What happened 2 years ago? Did you CT or do a super rapid taper and then RI? My personal theory and experience...is that once you've activated bad wd, its gonna take its time to resolve, whether you RI or not..unless a RI leaves you totally symptom free, which happens for some people, but not for others ...you're going to have windows and waves for a long time. For example I crashed and rapidly tapered Effexor. I was in hell, I switched meds and managed to find a semi-state of stability, but still had windows and waves for years, and especially at 2 years. I guess I mean...don't fret too much about whether you are on .5 or .4, or that you have RI'd ect...some of this could just be a big healing wave from your original crash, and would have occured no matter what you did. But it will pass. hang in there!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Thanks Aberdeen.

 

Two years ago I CT'd rather than rapid weaned. When I reinstated I went through some kind of WD/RI symptoms for about eight months and then started to taper again. I had not fully recovered when I started to taper, but my symptoms had eased up some. You are probably right and it will take me a good long while to get totally stable again. I do feel slightly better with this small amount of the drug in my system, though I still have horrendous anxiety. Anyway, I will try to stick where I am for a good long while with no chopping and changing. I will hang in there as much has I can. I think I will feel better if I can get understand the pattern of my days, if I know when things are likely to be tough and when they might lift. 

 

Thanks for your support, it is useful to have your take on things - maybe it is all from that first CT.

 

Just to continue my journal,the rest of the afternoon went as follows:

early afternoon 12-2 pretty bad

                        2-4 moderately bad

                        4-6 things lifted a bit but panicky again at 5.50

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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I'm willing to bet it was the CT...many are still suffering from a CT at 2 years, its super common, and also, NOT the end of the world, bc these people go on to heal and be just fine. At two years after my Effexor near CT...I had a horrible few waves, and they lasted a good couple of months. i found they were weaker after that, and a bit shorter. In fact now my waves are so mild I often blame life events...then look back and say, wait, maybe that was a wave bc now I feel ok ....back then, there was NO doubt in my mind something chemical and weird (aka wd) was going on. Despite all of this...you are convincing me to keep tapering below the .7mg Im on, just in case...I mean why not...Ive tapered for over 4 years now, why blow it. Your day sounds like my pattern, i often have most of my anxiety in the morning, then a bit better, then an anxious surge at dinner time, then even better for rest of evening. This will pass! 

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Sorry to hear Matt. I went through some real rough patches myself and it does get better with shorter waves. I found out even with my 15 month taper from 10 mg. I still had issues (and still do) months down the road. Its never gonna be easy to get off this crap so you just got to push through one day at a time. Hang in there Matt..

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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Hi Matt, sorry to hear you are going through this. I'm curious how you tapered down from 1 mg? I'm having something of a crash right now at .5 mg after tapering .1 mg per month for the past year or two. I guess at this low dose range that got to be too much. I can't fathom why that other site would have us jumping off at 1 mg. This under 1 mg business is no joke. Hang in there and keep us updated on how your RI goes. 

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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HI DLB, yep I will hang in there. I hope things are going well for you..

 

HI Rachelina, I tapered quite quickly below 1mg - about 0.1mg every 2.5 weeks. I have decided to take it very slowly next time and make sure I am fully recovered between each drop (which I did not do - I tapered whether feeling rough or not). I'm also going to give it a long rest before I even think about attempting it tbh. The last milligram was really tough and only got tougher as I approached 0. Good luck with the rest of your taper.

 

Journal:

I had a better day today as the awful anxiety I had all yesterday has subsided a lot.I had a lot of anhedonia and DR instead but I would say the day was easier overall. I went to bed last night expecting palpitations and panic but they never materialised and I even managed to get some sleep.   

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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Good job. Its gonna pass, you'll be feeling better soon.

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Aw, Matt, I'm so sorry - I got excited reading your thread and thought - he's gonna make it, he's gonna let go!

 

Then saw - how brutal that last mg of Paxil can be.  I'm sorry you had to reinstate - but - happy you didn't go to a doc to do so (as you said, to 10 mg or more!), and are at a nice, sweet, conservative .4 mg (is that right?  If so, please update your sig?) - still under the bit 1 mg, but maybe enough to help you through to stabilization so you can do it again.

 

It's not a failure!  It's a success!  Now you know exactly what your body needs to do it.  And you can do it!

 

I hope you are feeling better soon.  Really, regardless of how it feels - you're doing fine.  Withdrawal is such a fickle mistress,   :huh:

 

Keep surfing that wave.  You've seen windows before, you will see them again.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Yes indeed that last 1 mg is brutal!! I'm in a very similar situation and have updosed from .5 mg to 1 mg. After a few weeks I feel I'm just beginning to stabilize. I'm hoping that by this time you have as well. I have been wondering about you, would love an update on how your RI is going. 

Trying to get off Paxil since 2007. Was tapering by 0.1 mg every 4-5 weeks. Had awful crash in November 2015 at .5 mg; updosed gradually to 2 mg. 

 

Doing better and tapering again, much slower this time.  2016: Dropped from 2 mg to 1.62 mg.  2017:  1.62 mg to 1.2 mg. 2018: 1.2 mg to .76 mg. 2019: .76 mg to .56 mg. 2020: .56 mg to .33 mg. 2021: .33 mg to .13 mg. 2022: .13 mg to .03 mg. 6/12/23 .002 mg. OFF PAXIL 9/4/23

 

Started Klonopin in November 2015 to deal with crash. 1/10/16 started milk titration taper from .5 mg. Finished taper 12/6/17. Still take Klonopin for agoraphobia 2 - 3 times a week. 

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  • 5 months later...

I feel it's time to update on my situation. I'm afraid it's not a very pleasant story.

 

I tried to reinstate Paxil at 0.5mg after being 3.5 months off Paxil. My body would not tolerate it so that I had horrific withdrawal symptoms, the worst of which included: extreme insomnia, homicidal and suicidal thoughts and a horrible vibration in the chest which made me feel completely suicidal. One night, I was so afraid of harming those close to me that I had call for an ambulance and got referred to the mental health authority. It seemed like my body could not live with or without Paxil. I put myself in the hands of a psychiatrist and tried a number of drugs to try to find one that would help. My body would not take Paxil, Sertraline or Mirtazapine. This period was so bad that I ended up on an acute psychiatric ward for three months. While I was there,having tried an SSRI, I tried an old tricyclic called Chlomipramine. My body could accept it and I began to feel a little better. It did not completely remove withdrawal which seemed to be carrying on beneath the Chlomipramine, but it made my life bearable - most importantly, I stopped getting that inner vibration in my body that made me feel suicidal . l  felt that although the withdrawal was horrendous, I could get through it. I was diagnosed with OCD because of the horrible intrusive thoughts. The doctor did not think that I was a danger to other people but I myself was terrified of these thoughts.

 

The time I spent in hospital gave me a much needed rest while I tried out a med that helped me.I am  now ten months off Paxil, taking 150mg of CHlomipramine. I am still getting the waves and windows of withdrawal but I find that I can bear them. Finally, I would still like to taper of the CHlomipramine when I am feeling better and the waves have gone. I still think these drugs are horrific and that one of them damaged me greatly. I would definitely say that tapering when still feeling bad did not help me. In retrospect, I should have waited until I was feeling better after each drop rather than continuing to taper when experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I am hoping that as I approach 12 months off Paxil, I will see some real progress. At the moment, my key symptom is extreme exhaustion but I can live with it.

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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  • Moderator

Hi Mattage--  I'm so sorry to hear that you've been in such distress for the past several months.  It's good that you were able to find something that was able to take the edge off, but what a way to find out.  Those inner vibrations are a bad one.  I've gotten them mildly from time to time and that was bad enough.  We have several others talking about having them currently too.  I'm so glad you're doing better.  Get yourself good and rested and stable.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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