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Ever


Ever

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Hello everyone.  Refugee from paxilprogress here. 

 

I smoked 60-80 cigarettes and drank 30-40 cups of coffee a day for nearly 20 years.   Stopped both cold turkey in 1989.  One month later I was incapacitated with severe depression.  I was prescribed Prothiaden and over the next few years, I recovered and came off the drug.  

 

Around 2000, due to life circumstances, I had another bout of depression and was prescribed Paxil.   It was wonderful and really helped.   However, after I felt I'd recovered, and tried to come off the drug, I 'crashed' about 2 months after quitting.   I have been attempting to get off the drug ever since, crashing over and over about 2 months after getting to zero.  

 

About 18 months ago I discovered from the net that my 'crashes' were simply delayed withdrawal symptoms.   So I started a 10% reduction every month or so.   I was doing very well and got down to 3mg.   Then I went away and forgot to take my pills and pill cutter.   I thought I'd be ok and jumped off at this 3mg.   Two months later, crashed again.

 

Re-instated a few weeks ago and I'm currently at 4mg and am feeling ok.   No big withdrawal symptoms, perhaps a little 'fragile' - as in worried that I'll relapse again.   I'll stay on 4mg until I feel stronger and will then re-commence a 10% taper. 

 

Grateful for this site.  

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Hello and welcome.  I was also on the other site when it was all of a sudden closed.  (kairbear) was my name.  You will find this site even more helpful and welcoming.  I love it here and I hope you will come to as well.  There are some very knowledgeable people here that will be along soon to welcome you as well.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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Hi there Kairbear!   Good to see you.

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Hi Ever!  Good to "see" you here!

zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks)
Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg,  1/15 10 mg, 3/15  9 mg,  5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg.  4/16  5 mg, 6/16   4.5 mg,  9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17  3.2 mg,  4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17  1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg,  1/18 0.79 mg

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Just saying Hi.    Hii!

CT at 10mg. After 3 months RI at 5mg.

Taper at 10% per month down to 1mg. Taper the last milligram a little too quickly.

After ceasing meds, hit WD.  

Currently 2 months 3 weeks drug free. 

 

Hit protracted withdrawal 3.5 months after coming off Paxil (after 17 years use). I tried to reinstate just 0.5mg of Paxil but my body would no longer accept it. Tried a number of different drugs during a hospital spell. I eventually found one that eased my symptoms a bit. Currently, 10 months (15/05/16) off Paxil in the middle of a bad wave. I'm taking 150mg Clomipramine.

 

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Ever.

 

You might consider a 5% taper. Make sure it sticks this time!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks Altostrata - yes, that might just be a good idea.   Although I had no problems with the 10% drops.   It's the zero that seems to get me every time.  

 

I didn't mean to jump off at 3mg - I had just been through an incredibly stressful 4 months at work and had actually resigned.   THAT was stressful, but I wasn't depressed and had no withdrawal symptoms even though I'd continued dropping 10% each month during those 4 months.   After I resigned, I travelled up to stay with a friend hundreds of miles away and I forgot to take the pills and the pill-cutter.   So because I felt fine (stressed about the resignation, but certainly not depressed or with any withdrawal symptoms), I thought I'd just jump off at 3mg.

 

Two months later, despite being relaxed, not working, no financial problems, exercising ok etc, I crashed badly.   Looking back, I now realise I had withdrawal symptoms in those two months -night sweats and freezing, irritability and emotional lability which increased over time until I really crashed.  

 

I re-instated just a few weeks ago to 4mg and I'm stable again - the sweats disappeared after the first tiny dose and I've gotten stronger every day since.   I have no withdrawal symptoms now.   Will keep at 4mg for another month at least.   However, I still worry about getting to zero.   So perhaps you are right and a 5% taper would help it 'stick'.  hmmm...   thinking..... lol

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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And Heya Mattage and Mustangwoman!   Good to see you!

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Ever, welcome from me too.

 

 Will keep at 4mg for another month at least.   However, I still worry about getting to zero.   So perhaps you are right and a 5% taper would help it 'stick'.  hmmm...   thinking..... lol

 

 

Its important to taper slowly as the dose gets lower.  What we recommend here is a taper that's based on a percentage of your current dose not of your original dose. This paper will show you why: http://survivinganti...concentration/ 

(Check out the charts on page 4 and see how the receptor occupancy drops much more sharply at lower doses.)

 

Theoretically, by using this method, you never actually reach zero, but in reality you will stop eventually, but the idea is to slide off so gently that the nervous system hardly registers any change.  As long as you keep tapering smoothly, listening to your body and symptoms, being guided by them as to when to cut and when to hold, getting to zero shouldn't cause the crash it did previously.

 

I think you crashed because you jumped off too soon, if you taper lower, I'm sure you will do fine.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Ever, nice to see you over here.  I think sometimes earlier drops can catch up with you later on, especially as you say you had w/d hit two months after stopping.  I realise in hindsight that when I crashed just going from 5mg to 4.5mg, that I had actually been having some trouble with a couple of the previous drops, so I probably was not stable enough to keep dropping, even though I thought I was ready at the time.  Of course, it is easier to see these things in hindsight.  That's why I decided to go a lot slower this time.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Ever great to see you have galloped over to SA.

Glad songbird has flown in as well. 

Still finding my way around ..gee at SA people can do real long signatures!

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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Petu - that was so reassuring - I seem to be able to taper well with few problems - it's only after I 'jump off' that I hit problems, but now I see that I've always jumped off far too early and that I can keep tapering as slow and low as I want to and feel capable of.   Woot!   And I do taper at 10% of current dose, not the original.  So THANKYOU!!

 

SONGBIRD AND NZ1 - Soooo happy to see you two.  I didn't realise how attached I was to everyone at pp.   This is such a journey and I had a bit of a panic until I started seeing everyone over here.   Relief!

 

Songbird - by jumping off too soon, I reckon I've lost 6 months - having to re-instate and stablise again.   I'm not too worried about it now though - learnt another lesson and yes, I'm going to watch out for symptoms and go slower and/or hold longer from now on.

 

NZ1 - lol - I noticed that too!   I was waiting for the site to cut off my signature, but it didn't.   Great eh?  :0-)

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Good to be reunited with you Ever(hopeful)!

First panic attack 2/94. On Prozac for 6 months with no relief. Then switched to imipramine for 6 months. Started on 30mg Paxil in 12/97 for panic attacks and anxiety. Worked fine until 2/13. Dose increased to 40mg and anxiety and panic got worse. Started tapering from 40mg in 11/13. Currently at 10.9mg and feeling better. Intermittent Xanax use throughout.

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Yo Greg!  :)

 

And I read the micro-taper thing Alto.  So many hopeful options - feeling so much happier about tapering lower now. 

 

And I'm feeling ok - no symptoms that I can say are withdrawal now, except that feeling that if something happens, I'll go down again.  But as the days go by, that worry is getting less and feeling a little stronger every day.  I'm going to hold at 4mg until I feel strong again - even if it takes months.   Never going to rush this again - if I rush it, I lose time in the end.  I'll probably be dead before I get of the damn drug, but who cares - at least I'll have a life meanwhile lol.  

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Administrator

That's the spirit, Ever!

 

Feel good and strong before you reduce again. Listen to your body.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVER!

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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Merry Christmas right back at ya Frustrated!   An iots of love :)

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Merry Christmas!  Hope it's a good one.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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You too Songbird!   XXXXXXXX

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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I'm feeling good.   Really good. I've had a lovely Christmas eve and day. I think I'm pretty stable now. No physical wd symptoms and feeling mentally like 'me' - not having to 'act' like me. Getting a little stronger and more confident each day.

 

Best wishes to everyone - hope for better things for us all soon.

 

XXXX

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator

Excellent Xmas present Every, I'm so glad that things are settling down for you.  Merry Christmas

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

That's great news!  (Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is stability!)

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Yay for stability! That's great news, Ever. :)

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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:)  Keep up the good work

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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I know when someone hurts me, I often spend a lot of time trying to figure out if they're evil or only stupid.

 

Allow me to give you a word of advice: It's almost always stupidity.

 

Labeling someone as "evil" gets our aggressive instincts going.

This is just excellent! Thanks for this Alto - I gotta remember it lol. Just cool.

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Thanks Tom, Ladybug, Songbird and Junior. XXX

 

I'm also very full lol. Had trifle and cream for breakfast YUM!

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Dear Ever,

 

I've finally found you, and thanks too to the moderator who gave such good advice on tapering when in the lower ranges.

 

I did a really stupid thing out of the depression I was feeling about the closure of PP.  Send me to hell, why don't you?  Another kick in the head won't make that much difference. 

 

I jumped off my 4.5mg out of depression, anger and defeat then, as was forewarned,  went back into WDNotNormal. It kicked in 3 days after cessation.  Sweats, legs wobbly, nausea, anhedonia, DEPRESSION, ideation, and all the rest. 

 

The closure of PP really knocked me for six and feel like a scapegoat of sorts (what else is new), as well as a piece of dog s**t.  Like I wrecked it for everyone, when all I thought I was doing was giving support.  I thought that was the name of the game.      

 

Have reinstated but still not stable yet.  I am going to remain on the 4.50mg for another 4 weeks then think I will try the 5% deal and take it even slower.  Do you use scales, or just cut? 

 

Have aways wondered why it can get worse in the low range, and for the first time was informed from this site.  Maybe I just didn't see it on PP, but felt relieved to get the good oil on this nagging question of mine.  It made me feel safer.

 

I don't want to moan on about my role in PP's closure as it does no one any good, and herewith promise to not bring it up again, it only serves to feed the beast.  I can assure you Ever I just thought that I was speaking my mind and had no idea that such a thing could happen.  I have been foetal for days. 

 

To pull the pin almost immediately was a rotten act and completely unprofessional.  People should have been forewarned and given time to sort out what they were going to do, and where they were going to go.  I cannot help but feel responsible in some way and I hate it.  Whatever happened to the good old Aussie "fair go"? 

 

I know that as I begin to stabilise things will have a better glow so will not keep lamenting the way I feel.  Just glad that everyone is still there, and their words of encouragement were overwhelming.  My self-esteem is crap so to see so many people reach out their hands in support is beyond my comprehension.  What?  Someone actually does give a s**t.  I thank everyone so very much. 

 

WOOT WOOT Ever.

 

As always ..... steeley

 

Glad that you are back on deck and feeling stabilised, and like you I seem to have trouble down in the dread/low zone.  Chin up, and hope all will be good when we settle into this new arena.  I don't want to be known as ;steeley who screwed it".  I want to be a productive member.   

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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Steeley. Steeley. You just gotta give up thinking about pp and that you had anything to do with it. I was there a year ago when the same thing happened. It was appalling and knocked me for six then. This time it wasn't anywhere near such a shock because I think many of us knew it could happen again at any time. Nothing to do with anyone but Scotty. Wasn't you, and wasn't anyone the last time either.

 

And Steeley - look what we've found! This place is awesome! With amazing people and such information! If we hadn't found this place, I would probably have jumped off at 1mg because that's what pp recommended and I would probably have ended up going through horrible withdrawal for years and years. So if you want to take responsibility for stopping THAT happening to me - go for it lol - I'll just have to give you big fat hugs and kisses for doing it! You silly moo. Bless you.

 

I know you are feeling absolutely appalling right now, and that's a big reason you're hanging on to feeling guilty etc, but just for me and all the rest of the gang, try to hang on to the fact that you'll stabilise before too long. Just try the Acknowledge, Accept and Float thing or just hang in there for a while until it starts getting better. Another door has been opened for us and we're all gonna make it. I'm SOOOOOOO FUCKEN GLAD YOU'RE FINALLY HERE XXXXXXX

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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I agree with Ever. And don't forget, guilt is a symptom of depression - and since you are feeling that way, I have no doubt it's a symptom of your w/d. You will feel much brighter when the RI kicks in.

 

Now get on the front foot and smack this stupid stuff for 6. A la Smith!

 

Oh and I'll be at the 'G' tomorrow! 

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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  • Administrator

Guilt is a symptom of depression?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Yes.  At least in western society.  Somatic symptoms are more common in Asian countries where displays of emotion are not part of their culture.

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Ever--

 

Just want to echo the excellent advice you've already gotten--please taper more slowly at the lowest doses.

 

Unfortunately that paper that was referenced is gone now, but you could see from the charts (when you could see them) that at 1 mg daily dose of Paxil you still had about 20% receptor occupancy (at 20 mg it was 80%) so it's a sharp drop down that last 1 mg! And Paxil was the worst of them all as far as how dramatically it dropped at low doses compared to the higher doses, I recall noticing. You're going right off a cliff down there below 1 mg, don't rush it!

 

I'm down to 0.9 mg of citalopram now myself and planning to take that last 18% or so down very slowly.

 

From all the ups and downs and ons and offs you've had, I would anticipate that you're going to be more sensitive than ever to reductions at those low doses. No point in pushing it.

 

I have found that on the low doses that I've gotten to, I've gotten so much of my original personality and zest and contentment back. So there's no need to rush, you'll be benefitting even as you go slowly.

 

Also, welcome to the forum!

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thankyou so much for re-iterating that Rhi, for the information, and for the warnings. I am so glad pp closed and I landed here. And thankyou for your welcome. xxx

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Administrator

Junior, one can feel guilty and not be depressed.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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When Junior posted the thing about guilt and depression, it DID ring a bell with me. I think I do feel guilty when I'm depressed, but because I'm not depressed at all right now, it's ******* hard to remember lol. And I'm going to do everything possible to never feel depressed again, so I hope I never get to test it out lol. Interesting discussion though....... thinking, thinking...

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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