westcoast Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 Let us know if you decide to try a device. I am curious about them. I think there is discussion on this site about the various ones. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 Gotta journal the last few days. Wide swings. Sad, despondent, in the depths on Monday. Tuesday felt as close to normal as I have in months. Applied for a job, making plans and feeling positive, good mood and only a slight headache for a couple of hours. Slept great, a solid seven hours. When I awoke, felt like I had no hope and wished I were dead; must've cried a dozen times today. Up/down, up/down. More of the same, I am so sick of this. I read the board and I see other people are suffering mightily. I am lucky that my periods of depression don't generally last more than several hours before lifting somewhat. Depressed mood and crying has not been a regular feature of my WD over the last five months, not until the last three weeks. I don't know how the people who are worse off than me manage to endure this. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 A few terrible hours is bad enough. And I don't know how I got through the worst of it. Really it is just because I am opposed to suicide for many reasons. I certainly felt there was no reason to go on. I drank too much, as drink was the only drug I trusted. Not advisable, either. My days are still grim and lethargic but the burning dread is now just embers. Morning terror was gone, but seems to be creeping back, perhaps because I discontinued coconut oil. Have you considered seeing a counselor for the parts of your situation that can be addressed with mental exercises? I saw a good psychiatrist yesterday who told me to let up on myself, and give myself a couple more YEARS to feel better and get back to my old activities. He said I should work on clean house, clean clothes, and bathing, and not worry about anything else right now. It helped a lot. He realizes I've lost my social life, and suggests I work on that. Easier said than done, but worthwhile advice. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Hey westcoast. I haven't given any thought to a counselor; my doc made a suggestion about a meditation group, and I might try that. I think I am using some coping tools, but I have not been able to make a habit of meditation or exercise (the exercise just because of fatigue.) I am making a point to reach out to friends, for social purposes as well as to ask their support. I wrote a long email and sent it to about eight of my long-time closest friends, folks I've known since college and even since high school a couple of them. And I've forced myself to pick up the phone and call people three or four times in the last few weeks when I would prefer not to talk to anyone. The symptoms continue to rapidly switch up in quality and severity. After several nights of good sleep, I slept poorly two nights ago. But, I woke up feeling pretty good and had a great day. Even had a job interview. Slept better, then woke this morning with strong derealization and a deeper brain fog than I have had in months. I couldn't tell if I was awake or dreaming, and I felt incapable of the slightest logical thought. Then, by noon, this went away. A strong headache replaced it, but my brain returned to clear, normal function. And the depression/crying that was prominent many days of the last two weeks - absent completely the last two days. This deep brain fog with DP/DR was part of my typical day in December and January, but it went away. Then it came back for four hours today. This is so frigging weird. Anyway, just wanted to journal that. It is hard to remember how varied my days are, how symptoms appear and go away, and shift in intensity. There is a quote I found a while back, that I lean on a lot. "It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." ~ Nietzsche 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Friday and Saturday were two of the worst days I've had in the nearly six months of delayed withdrawal. Severe derealization/brain fog/difficulty thinking straight, for 6-8 hours. Then even when my thinking cleared up somewhat, really bad HA/tinnitus, worse than usual. Sleep was bad too. I was desperate, and seriously questioning how much more I could take. Odd, my mood was not depressed, just frustrated, sick and tired of the whole damn thing. To say it a different way, I wasn't sad/hopeless/depressed like underlying disease. I was depressed from chronic suffering, the way people with chronic pain frequently become depressed, (and appropriately) because they've been in physical pain for weeks or months. Then, just as suddenly, Sunday and today are two of the best days I've had since this mess started. Not symptom free, some HA/tinnitus and some fatigue, but thoughts are clear and normal. What the heck - and who knows what tomorrow will bring. When I feel as I do now and for the last couple of days, I am tempted to think I am on the verge of turning the corner toward wellness. And I am afraid to say it out loud for fear of hexing it. But instead, I'm saying it, and writing it here. As a reverse hex. But the depth of the swing down just three days ago, and the height of the swing back towards normal is so striking. I hope everyone finds some relief and peace. This thing sucks so bad, but I know it will end well. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 That's weird. I wish we could scan your brain on good and bad days, as yours are well-delineated. I just have fifty shades of blecccch. I am glad Sunday was better and hope today is too. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Thanks, westcoast. I am highly skeptical about brain imaging to guide psychiatric treatment, as well as many of the conclusions and judgments that rest on recent research with imaging. I think these pretty pictures are being used in vain to fill in the huge hole of ignorance we have about normal and abnormal function of this incredibly complex system. Most of this stuff is going to be as useful as phrenology. I'm sure it has its place, and I am by no means an expert. But it seems faddish. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Oh yes, I know what you mean. I sort of meant it as a figure of speech. I just wish we knew which neurotransmitters or hormones or lobes or cortices or chemicals are doing what, and when and where. We were just discussing the possible quackery of these spect scan clinics in another thread this morning. I think it was Muddles's. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Ah, I see what you mean. Me too; but today's technology and understanding doesn't do that. There is tons of wonderful research going on that is revealing the mysteries of the brain. A real golden age. But so much of that is lost in the drive to sell more drugs and in support of gimmicky stuff like functional imaging. I wonder if the whole system wasn't so corrupted by the vast pharma dollars, and if research funding was not tainted by this factor, if our understanding would progress more rapidly. I am hopeful that much will be learned in relative short order. That our understanding of depression and other common ailments at a molecular level will be vastly greater in as little as ten or twenty years. And for all I know, imaging may prove an important and practical tool. But today I don't think much of this functional imaging stuff. I saw that discussion you guys have going in another thread. Literally if I had tons of money lying around, I would not spend the time or money to get a spect scan to try to understand what is going on in my brain right now. I think it would be a total waste of time, based on my understanding of WD (which is what Alto and the rest of the folks here have taught me.) 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 By the way, the P in Pharma is silent. It is pronounced Harma. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
mustangwoman Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 How are you doing today Offeff? I hope you are feeling better. Dark days can be so hard! Sending hugs! zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks) Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg, 1/15 10 mg, 3/15 9 mg, 5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg. 4/16 5 mg, 6/16 4.5 mg, 9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17 3.2 mg, 4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17 1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg, 1/18 0.79 mg Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Third good day in a row! Now I'm really nervous. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Purplestars22 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 OffEffexor, reading your story I'm impressed and glad that you did not have have a nasty withdrawal experience for the most part since it was c/t. You must be grateful for that since not so many get that luck coming off meds(like me). Yay for having 3 good days and hope they continue to come. Oh and I like your quote in your signature I live by those words and try to be as positive as I can through this. Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety Failed attempt to stop reinstated 1 year taper skipping doses Celexa free 12/2013 1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only Link to comment
btdt Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 That's weird. I wish we could scan your brain on good and bad days, as yours are well-delineated. I just have fifty shades of blecccch. I am glad Sunday was better and hope today is too. I think when you have obvious up and downs...perhaps there is reason...like food that set you off or situation or form of thoughts ect...some common denominator. I have found this to be true for me. With many different things odd and varied things some shows for instance or sounds or food or patterns of light a situation... sleep or lack of. tv shows music for a long time I could not stand sounds or any music... I still rarely like any music in cars and have had to ask others even in their own cars to turn the music off I can't stand it... Relaxation meditation may help take you down a notch where you can think of what the "it" is to find a pattern. Common denominators have been a very useful theme is sorting my path through this mess. Time for my meditation... and the more I meditate the more stable I feel I use one on utube there are plenty to choose from peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
mustangwoman Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 So happy for 3 good days in a row! zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks) Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg, 1/15 10 mg, 3/15 9 mg, 5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg. 4/16 5 mg, 6/16 4.5 mg, 9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17 3.2 mg, 4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17 1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg, 1/18 0.79 mg Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 Thanks for the good wishes. I'm back in WD hell, but not too bad of a day so far. Headache tinnitus and fatigue about 50% of a horrible day, and tolerable. Also some sweating, for the new symptom of the day, just annoying, not too bad. I have not had any temperature issues during WD, in fact I was sweating at night when I was on the effexor, and it went away soon after stopping. Having some stress from outside life, but able to meet it. A bad but not horrible day. In two weeks it will be one year of no meds. The delayed withdrawal is about six months now. I've really had enough of this, I hopefully look forward to more good days and relief. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Did you have cold flashes at any point since quitting Effexor? 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 No, no cold flashes. Maybe two or three times I've had a little bit of sweating either at night or I notice it when I awaken in the morning. But that was a benefit I noticed right away after stopping - that aspect of autonomic function got back to normal. This little bit of sweating today is the least of my symptoms, barely worth mention. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted March 5, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 5, 2015 Hi OffEFFexor, i just read your thread - you have had quite the journey. I am hoping that your situation improves for the long term soon Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 Two bad days after three good days. Today, so far, not so good. At least these bad days are less severe than usual, so progress I guess. But I am wearing down and I'm just so tired of this, almost six months of low function, just lying in bed nearly all day. Headache, tinnitus, low energy, brain fog, some depressed mood and some crying. Not all day, but for several hours at a time. Rinse, repeat. I am grateful for my three day window, hope the next one hurries. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 After a three day window, I've had a four-day wave. I woke up this morning feeling nearly normal, but within a couple of hours the same old HA/tinnitus/brain fog and fatigue. Two nights ago, and yesterday morning, I had moments of feeling that I just cannot take any more of this withdrawal. I felt like giving up. I had no thoughts of suicide; that is not what I felt giving up means. I guess it means trying to reinstate something. For a moment it meant getting in a taxi and going to the hospital, but that thought immediately gave way to the realization that would mean multiple medications prescribed by someone who has no clue. Those feelings of despair passed, but today I feel just tired of the whole ordeal. I had a nice talk with my sister yesterday morning, and that helped get me out of the desperation mode. Today my coping mechanism has been distraction. Did a bunch of long-postponed mindless paperwork for work; listened to spring training baseball. Man, I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don't feel horrible or desperate, but I am so tired of this. I indulged in some optimism during my window at the start of the week. I'm trying to keep perspective that today would be one of the milder days I was having a couple of months ago. I don't know what to do if I do give up; so I'll just keep on. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Thanks for stopping by my thread, OE. Was really nice to read your post. We're all beaten down and sick to death of this. Maybe it all caught up with me. I don't know. You seem to have found your little corner of "acceptance" of this process. I'm sure it will help your healing, not fighting it anymore, that is. I have no fight left in me after yesterday. Howling at the moon didn't seem to help me much. But then I'm no wolfman, just look like one these days. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 When you recover, you could change your name to EffOff. I would. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Hope you chuckled at that. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 9, 2015 Author Share Posted March 9, 2015 That is the plan. EffOff Big Pharma. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Excellent. I hope you have great big fat glorious window day tomorrow. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 11, 2015 Author Share Posted March 11, 2015 four and a half day wave, feeling very frustrated and out of patience with being ill, although the severity of symptoms was only moderate. HA, tinnitus, brain fog and fatigue. Then yesterday had a busy, stressful day at work, a site inspection of our medical clinic. Most of the stress was all the little tasks to do in preparation over the prior weeks, and the worry about passing. Day itself was long but that anticipatory stress was gone as soon as I woke up yesterday. Today is just blah. Mild symptoms, but I don't feel enough energy to do anything but kill time. Mood is just blah, not depressed nor badly frustrated, just passing another day of WD. Beats suffering a horrible depressed day, or a searing headache day, or an otherwise painfully unbearable day. I don't eat much sugar, but I do like ice cream, maybe four or five times a week during WD. One reason is I usually feel a bit better (or a bit less worse) from the little sugar rush. My appetite tracks my overall state pretty closely, I have none and I have to force myself to eat when I'm feeling bad. This is one of the big clues for me that I was not having a relapse of my underlying condition. When I was depressed in the past, that meant craving carbs, lots of ice cream and chips, and weight gain. I've lost about 7-8 lbs over six months of WD, and that is with an extremely low activity level, working just a few hours a week and mostly lying in bed/on the couch all day. Blah, blauh blahb day. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Blah days would be Mardi Gras for me. I'll see your blahs and raise you akathisia and anal spasms. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 It is reassuring to hear an anesthesiologist's certainty that this is not an underlying condition. I have mention this to my family, because I am not sure they really get it. Speaking of anesthesia, I hope I haven't already asked this, but have you looked at Ketamine therapy for depression? Sure sounds compelling, but then I am still looking for a chemical fix (for this chemically-induced problem). 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 I've read some of the papers on ketamine treatment. It seems to work, but only for a very short time. A week or two later many people have their mood revert back to depressed. Ketamine has a strong addiction potential, which is a huge downside. Maybe it is useful for the most severe, hopelessly suicidal patients who are now treated with ECT, as a last resort. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 It would be awful to think you were "cured" ... for a week, then blammo. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Yeah, that would be too much like WD! That would also make getting addicted to the ketamine much more likely. (I'm having a very good day, I feel darn near normal. Don't think I'm cured just yet, though.) 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
westcoast Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I have read some horrible stories on erowid.com about ketamine addicts. Things like viscous urine with blood in it. No thanks. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Ewwww! Ketamine is long off-patent, so no drug company is going to be able to make billions off it. So at least they won't be pushing this and fabricating data to justify it. There are some anesthesiologists giving IV infusions to patients here in new york. When I am feeling better I want to talk to one of them and learn more. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Had one great day, Thursday. A wonderful window in which I felt about 90% of normal, that lasted around 30 hours. Then slipped back into the usual WD hell Friday afternoon. HA, tinnitus, brain fog, fatigue. The wide swings are disorienting, while the window is encouraging. Such a roller coaster. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
OffEFFexor Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 One year since my last antidepressant drug. Still sick, with WD symptoms from effexor. Had anyone told me a year later I would still suffer adverse effects from that drug, I would not have believed them. I've learned a lot. I never imagined I could be so sick for so many months, unable to function normally or even leave my bed for so long. Seven lost months--one month for acute withdrawal, then after a five month window, daily headache, tinnitus, brain fog, physical and mental fatigue since September, plus an array of other neurologic and psychologic symptoms coming and going almost at random. The severe up and down course has been confusing. But the last three or four weeks I have felt significant improvement. Despite some very bad days, the symptoms are much weaker than the prior months. I have been lucky because it could've been much worse. So many other people suffer much more than I have. I count my blessings; that the deep depression and suicidal thoughts have plagued me for only short periods of time; that my sleep has been far from perfect but most nights is at least ok; that I have not had any serious akathesia or any significant pains other than HA. The greatest blessing is that this website (and the pp website that closed a few months ago) led me to the correct diagnosis, prognosis and treatment for this delayed prolonged withdrawal from effexor syndrome, and to the road back to good mental health. I never would've survived this year with my sanity intact, with a full understanding of what was happening to me and why, and with the proper treatment approach to this illness without this community manifested on this website. I am grateful and indebted to you all. You are all my sisters and brothers. A special and singular thank you to Alto for everything here. You are a crucial page in the long history of medicine and psychiatry, a page you continue to write. 1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 2252014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down. Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog. July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health. Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!! ☼ Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards. Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough. Current supplements: Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime. Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure. Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation. Link to comment
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