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tootsieroll: another member from PP


Tootsieroll

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Hi everyone, i have sailed on over from PP. Can anyone tell me what happened to the forum? Im happy to be here but curiosity is still getting me.

I'll share a bit about myself. I was on various SSRIs for 10 years, mainly celexa, and finally tapered free Jan 2014 after a two year taper. Years before the taper i would switch meds hoping it would stave off the weight gain. Little did i know that i was in constant start up effects and withdrawal. Life seemed to have stopped at that point which is maybe 6 years ago. During this period i looked high and low for answers to why i was feeling so sick and bedbound/agoraphobic. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I do believe that withdrawal was the culprit for my symptoms and not lyme. Lyme may play a factor but i doubt it has the horrendous effects as discontinuation syndrome.

A month after my taper ended, I took two months worth of benzos due to life events and had no idea that would start a new nightmare. I am now off that for 9 months and still recovering. Benzo withdrawal was a whole new monster.

I look forward to my stay here and wish everyone the best of luck!!

Edited by scallywag
tags

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Tootsieroll - there is a thread here called 'Paxil Progress is closing', where you can get some of the background as to what happened at pp.   Very glad to see you here.  XXXX :)

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Tootsieroll, welcome to SA. Congratulations on freeing yourself from celexa and then benzo's, that

must have been a rocky road to travel. I understand what you mean about being sick with the drugs,

I was 20 years on and off various meds until effexor which I have been taking for over 12 years now

and tapering for almost 3 years. I too was bedbound and could not find out why but started to feel 

better as my dose got lower.  I'm almost there now and will never, ever touch another psych drug! 

 

Could you pit your history in your sig line for us? You'll find instructions here. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

We all have our history this way here because it is easy to see the drugs we have had or are tapering

when it appears at the bottom of every post. 

It's good to have you here. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Hi Tootsieroll-- I'm so glad you found us. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Good to see you, Tootsieroll.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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  • Administrator

Welcome, tootsieroll.

 

Visit http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-tapering-discussion/ -- benzos taperers will appreciate hearing from you.
 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks evryone!! I'll definitely visit benzo thread!

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • 1 year later...
  • Administrator

Hey, Tootsieroll, how are you doing now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Administrator

bump!!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

Sigh..well I really believed by two years I'd be a success story but alas here I am. I am having trouble functioning as a human being. Still experience anxiety, agoraphobia, heart palps, DP/DR. All of these are to a lesser degree mind you but my biggest gripe would be the cog fog/memory/cotton brain. I can't for the life of me remember something that had just happened or remember logistical information. I seem to be in a daze most times and i have a tough time speaking. I always trail off after a short sentence. Suffice it to say, i am a majorly socially inept case. I am pretty much isolated and dun socialize or work. How could I? I would forget instructions and most likely not recognize faces. Driving is dangerous and is most likely get lost walking or taking public transit. Its like my critical thinking is completely offline. If i go a day without sleep, it's pretty much end game. I am so angry that I am still at this point in time. Is this normal this far out?

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Sorry forgot to add. I am still pretty apathetic/anhedonic with the inabilty to connect or convey emotions or joy.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • Administrator

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Alto- on the positive side, better is better. But I have spent most all of my youth in this daze and i'm not getting any younger. I would like to have a career or be able to start a family. How does one go about that when they can't even leave the home? I think there is a fear that this is as good as it gets. Now i'm suppose to pick up where i left off midlife? It's infuriating to say the least. I'm sure i'll feel differently when i'm on the other side but till then I feel like a child with a tantrum lol

 

Yes i have tried both fish oil and magnesium. I take magnesium daily but i'm allergic to fish so i can't dabble with that. I hope all is well with you!

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • Administrator

I'm okay, thanks, Tootsie.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Coming up to 27 months...

 

Hi, I hope everyone is holding onto hope and trudging through.  I am coming up to 27 months and I want to give some hope but also to air some frustrations of mine.  Any acute anxieties and other mental symptoms are now far far far in the background and barely bug me on a daily basis.  I do, however, experience some symptoms that doesn't enable me to live fully.  I have this constant feeling like I'm either in a perpetual hangover or I feel stoned and couple that with extreme fatigue, I'm pretty much inactive. (symptoms include squeezing of brain, random hot flashes, slight derealization/veritgoish and anhedonia)  I have also developed this self consciousness to such a large degree that I don't feel like myself.  I did go through a short stint of benzo withdrawal so i know that didn't help my case. Anyone feel this too?  Is this common this far out?  How does one function like this?  My windows are very short lived and I can't wait for the day it opens and stays open.

 

Ps.  Sometimes my memory is so bad I feel I have Alzheimers.  I was at the book store today and I stepped out from the aisle where I found the book.  When I tried to go back to that aisle I forgot where I came from.  I walked in circles and 20 mins later(walked around pretending i was looking for books) I realized the aisle was the very very last aisle and I kept walking past it.  How is this even possible.  Im too young(30's) for this.

Edited by Petunia
New topic merged with original and title added

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thankyou for updating Tootsieroll,

I joined your new topic with the original, its one thread per member in this section. You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want. Its a good idea to bookmark it or follow it, so its easy to find again.

 

I'm sorry you are still having symptoms at 27 month out, protracted withdrawal is not uncommon here, I'm almost 3 years drug free and still have significant symptoms and non-functional much of the time. Most people do seem to recover within several months to a year or two, but a minority of people take longer to recover.

 

How did you stop taking the benzos, did you taper or go CT?

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Ha!  I was wondering why my posts suddenly disappear.  Thought I was going nuts again lol.  I never in a million years thought I'd be protracted.  I thought if I played the game right and tapered as slow as possible that I would come out of this unscathed.  Was I terribly wrong.  I took the benzos for a period of two months and then when I stopped taking it one night, I started seeing lights in my sleep and awoke to myself in a puddle of my own pee.  I guess everything just gave way.  I went back on the next night and tapered for a week.  Yeah I know....not much of a taper but I was on for such a short period that I didn't want to be on longer than I needed to be.  That was a descent to a worse hell then I have ever imagined for two years.  Now I don't know whether I'm left with residual ssri damage or benzo damage.

 

I recently found an old journal dating back to 2009-2010 and I was so angry when I found a mention of the drug Zopiclone.  It's basically a benzo type drug and I was so disappointed at the thought that these drugs have played a role in my life for such a long time.  I thought it was innocuous then and thought it was again just two years ago which started me on this recent benzo journey.  I wish the docs would refrain handing these sleeping pills out informing that they aren't addictive.  Two months is the longest I have ever dabbled with them and I remember not understanding why I was so depressed and everything looked like doom and gloom hell.  I started them at the end of my SSRI taper and for the most part, my SSRI taper was uneventful which was surprising when I experienced this unrelenting depression and anxiety that was not a resemblance of my past SSRI cold turkeys.  At that point I knew I had to put a stop to those benzos.  And here I am..drug free..but not symptom free.  Thanks for listening.  I know I'll get to the finish line...question is when.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Hi everyone, I really need encouragement. I'm going in for a surgery called a d&c for polyp removal and i'm frackin scared as hell. As my signature states, i'm still healing from ssri/benzo wd and I don't know how i'll handle this surgery. I hope it doesn't amplify my symptoms. I know in some anesthesias they include a benzo and during the phone assessment i stumbled all around the explanation of why im allergic to benzos. She eventually put it as an adverse reaction under my files. Would that be enough to deter them from giving them to me? I do get to speak to anestheologist before surgery but i know i'll stammer just like i did on the phone. Anyone here go through benzo withdrawal and deal with the paranoia of anesthesia? Not to mention, the idea of walking into that room and lying on a cold operating table and something about being put to sleep seems soooo unnatural and scary. Ur consciously putting urself into a space where you know any minute you will blackout. Also the anesthesia burns as it goes in hand which is a nice good night present.

Ps. No horror stories please. I'm already freaking out.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi guys, I'm in a wave and may need your help. My mind is stuck on a constant negative loop and I hope to get some support so I don't focus on it and go on a downward spiral. If I can interact here then maybe time will pass for me. I cant describe how awful this feels and to be dealing with it all alone. Ive even contemplated going to the hospital emergency and sitting there just to feel safe, even if i dun check in or register to be seen. This is how illogical a wave is.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Hi Tootsie,  I've just read your sig.  You have come so far.  Well done!

 

Sorry to hear you are in another wave.  How long has this one been going on for?  Have you had some windows?  How are you feeling physically.

I can relate to the negative loop.  It's horrid.  None of it is real and it will pass.  You will feel better.

 

I think it's positive that you are looking to steps to protect yourself if you need to.  Is there anywhere else you can go to try to feel safe; a short walk in a busy park?  Any friend or family you could call to come and sit with you?

March 2003 took two sartroline tablets after a traumatic incident and had a reaction so stopped.  I am not sure now whether what I had for the next 18 months was WD after the reaction or the emotional fallout from the traumatic event.  Some of it was very similar to WD in hindsight.  

 

February 2014 - Took five pristiq (50mg) tablets and three Ativan and had a severe reaction.
Extreme withdrawal symptoms for three weeks compounded by visit to naturopath -

One week later took 900mg St John's Wort x 3 daily for six weeks - more negative effects and suspected serotonin syndrome - before tapering over three weeks. Last tablet late May 2014.

Waves and windows cycle of recovery with longer windows and manageable waves.

May 2015 - already in a mild wave, following a usual pattern, I took clarithromicin and amoxicillin for two weeks for a sinus infection which I also seem to have had quite a reaction to.

 

February 2016 - Feeling much better.  I still have waves and windows but they are manageable.  I'm largely enjoying life again.

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Hi guys, I'm in a wave and may need your help. My mind is stuck on a constant negative loop and I hope to get some support so I don't focus on it and go on a downward spiral. If I can interact here then maybe time will pass for me. I cant describe how awful this feels and to be dealing with it all alone. Ive even contemplated going to the hospital emergency and sitting there just to feel safe, even if i dun check in or register to be seen. This is how illogical a wave is.

 

 

Hi, Toosieroll. I moved this post into your Intro thread here. Please remember only one Intro per customer.  :)

 

Farout gave you some great ideas. So many of us here including myself can relate to what you're going through, so I'm very happy to see you posting for support.

 

Please check out the Symptoms and self care section for even more ideas.

 

One great way I've found to deal with those negative loops is mindfulness and here's a great thread about that:

 

Guided Meditations: Calming Videos, Sleep Hypnosis

 

I hope this wave passes quickly for you.

Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"

 

And what is good, Phaedrus, and what is not good — need we ask anyone to tell us these things? ~ Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Thanks Shep for the suggestions. I'll give the link a try. I hope it is enough to hold the symptoms at bay. I know many of you can relate to this, but what a crappy thing to hv in common.

 

Farout- its been ongoing and it varies in intensity. It mostly varies on my environment. If i'm undergoing stress, if i'm alone, if i've slept or not. When its not as bad, it's still rumbling in the background. When I say it, i mean all the symptoms. This includes the body vibrations, derealization, brain fog. It has gotten to a degree where it's bearable but for some reason it is awfully strong today. I dun hv anyone to contact and not many people know im going thru this. My mind is constantly fighting with itself. Sure, i can go to a busy park..but what if i freak out while im there. See how illogical it is when a wave hits? Sigh..this non linear healing can really kick butt.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Hello Tootsieroll, I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming surgery. Just think positive on everything will go fine. Try to work on some self soothing techniques as of now. xx ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hello Tootsieroll, I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming surgery. Just think positive on everything will go fine. Try to work on some self soothing techniques as of now. xx ps22

Thnx Purplestars!! I actually had the surgery already and I was a mess on that surgery table but I got thru it and healed well. The results from biopsy taken from surgery..not so great news. Sigh..these pills and withdrawal really cause the body chemistry to change. I can't wait for my body and mind to heal completely becus I dun know what is causing what.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Hey Tootsieroll, well at least the surgery is done and over with. I am sorry about the not so great news. Well get there on being healed and figure out the aftermath of health and life. I wish you well, ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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  • 3 weeks later...

Now I'm really concerned.  I had the polyp removal in hopes that it would minimize my horrific heavy periods and I'm into my second period after the surgery and I have to say there has only been a 25% improvement.  This is not a huge improvement for someone who is anemic.  All this hormonal business didn't start happening till my first cold turkey years ago from Celexa and gradually worsened.  I'm nowhere near menopausal, have never had kids and I'm convinced this is all withdrawals doing.  I have Lyme disease too but the correlation between the heavy periods and my first cold turkey is too coincidental to even consider that it's all Lymes fault.  I'm two years and 2 months out from all psych meds.  Is it possible to have hormones disrupted for this long?  Doctor wants me to take birth control pills or prometrium I told him No way in hell am I putting some chemical into my body again.  My naturopath tested my hormones and told me while they were off the charts previously, they have come down a bit.  At the rate I'm going, it would take another 2 years to completely balance naturally.  How is this possible?  Am I doing more harm by not treating this condition?  I don't want to further imbalance my body.  Please anyone experience hormone issues and healed in 3-4 years out?

 

I am being biopsied next week for possible cancer cell tissue in uterus after abnormal cells were found from surgery.  What the heck is going on with my body?

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Hi Tootsieroll! 25 % is still an improvement. I have done the polype removal too, three years ago, and I think it took some time for my periods to be more "balanced". I had heavy periods in the beginning of my wd journey (before the polype removal). I thought it was mostly the drug, but I dont know. It is so much better now. WaIt for the biopsy results and in the meantime try not to worry too much. Take care.

Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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Coming up to 27 months...

 

Hi, I hope everyone is holding onto hope and trudging through.  I am coming up to 27 months and I want to give some hope but also to air some frustrations of mine.  Any acute anxieties and other mental symptoms are now far far far in the background and barely bug me on a daily basis.  I do, however, experience some symptoms that doesn't enable me to live fully.  I have this constant feeling like I'm either in a perpetual hangover or I feel stoned and couple that with extreme fatigue, I'm pretty much inactive. (symptoms include squeezing of brain, random hot flashes, slight derealization/veritgoish and anhedonia)  I have also developed this self consciousness to such a large degree that I don't feel like myself.  I did go through a short stint of benzo withdrawal so i know that didn't help my case. Anyone feel this too?  Is this common this far out?  How does one function like this?  My windows are very short lived and I can't wait for the day it opens and stays open.

 

Ps.  Sometimes my memory is so bad I feel I have Alzheimers.  I was at the book store today and I stepped out from the aisle where I found the book.  When I tried to go back to that aisle I forgot where I came from.  I walked in circles and 20 mins later(walked around pretending i was looking for books) I realized the aisle was the very very last aisle and I kept walking past it.  How is this even possible.  Im too young(30's) for this.

 

I am curious what your hormones are doing do you know?  

 

Not that I have any great answers I wish I did.  Depending on where you live testing can be done easily enough. 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Thanks Amyk, i will wait but it seems abnormal to have experienced this for so many years.

 

Btdt- i have been through the gamut of tests. They always come back normal in regards to hormones. Im never told anything unusual. Even though im getting biopsied in a week, even they think it might not be anything. If not, im back to square one.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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Hey Tootsie! We have a lot of similar symptoms. Hope you're doing okay..remember to stay positive! :)

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Hey Tootsie! We have a lot of similar symptoms. Hope you're doing okay..remember to stay positive! :)

 

Thanks servadei.  I love your profile pic.  Reminds me of my hamster that passed many years ago.  She was so loved!  I am trying to stay positive in the face of....bleeding.  I start to lose strength when I bleed this much each month.  Do you have similar symptoms when it comes to withdrawals or you mean menstrual wise?  So my most gnawing symptoms are heart palps, monophobia, agoraphobia, brain tightness when anxious, fatigue, slight DP/DR, insomnia and this forsaken bleeding.  I'm hanging on with the rest of you and it's great to know I'm not alone.

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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I agree with Amy, I think it probably will just take more time and the fact that you've seen even a 25% improvement is encouraging. I have a couple of polyps too, but the doctor just wanted to monitor them for now. I've also always had very heavy periods and therefore am always anemic or borderline anemic so I feel your pain!

 

I definitely worry about whether long term use of Paxil and WD are going to throw me into an early menopause. I just turned 36 and my periods are regular only in the sense that I get one every month but in the past year my cycle length can be anywhere from 23-37 days. I'm on day 34 right now and no sign of it yet. My hormones definitely feel out of whack to say the least but the only time I had them tested everything came up within range. I can't take BC pills either and I'm too scared to even take supplements that are known to help balance hormones. I do know that time is the greatest healer and thankfully you are at least of the drugs so I do believe things will improve for you.

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Hey Tootsie! We have a lot of similar symptoms. Hope you're doing okay..remember to stay positive! :)

Thanks servadei. I love your profile pic. Reminds me of my hamster that passed many years ago. She was so loved! I am trying to stay positive in the face of....bleeding. I start to lose strength when I bleed this much each month. Do you have similar symptoms when it comes to withdrawals or you mean menstrual wise? So my most gnawing symptoms are heart palps, monophobia, agoraphobia, brain tightness when anxious, fatigue, slight DP/DR, insomnia and this forsaken bleeding. I'm hanging on with the rest of you and it's great to know I'm not alone.

I meant wd. I was scared of being alone, but not anymore. I've gotten used to it.

Oh and thanks for the picture, it's my hamster, Pippin. :) You should get one too again, they're lovely. Hope everything clears up with your menstruation, I don't have problems with bleeding altough it hurts much more now in wd. And pms makes my symptoms even more intense.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I agree with Amy, I think it probably will just take more time and the fact that you've seen even a 25% improvement is encouraging. I have a couple of polyps too, but the doctor just wanted to monitor them for now. I've also always had very heavy periods and therefore am always anemic or borderline anemic so I feel your pain!

 

I definitely worry about whether long term use of Paxil and WD are going to throw me into an early menopause. I just turned 36 and my periods are regular only in the sense that I get one every month but in the past year my cycle length can be anywhere from 23-37 days. I'm on day 34 right now and no sign of it yet. My hormones definitely feel out of whack to say the least but the only time I had them tested everything came up within range. I can't take BC pills either and I'm too scared to even take supplements that are known to help balance hormones. I do know that time is the greatest healer and thankfully you are at least of the drugs so I do believe things will improve for you.

Thank you for the comforting words.  I know the words you write are true, that only time can heal but when the changes seem so small in such a long period it feels imperceptible.  Sorry you are suffering the same.  I can undoubtedly tell you that the length of your cycles will improve, that one I do know personally.  Initially I kept getting periods at around 30-34 days, now they have at least leveled out to 28-29 days.  I can only hope the rest will follow but I'm still frickin angry it took 2 years to get to this point. 

 

 

 

Hey Tootsie! We have a lot of similar symptoms. Hope you're doing okay..remember to stay positive! :)

Thanks servadei. I love your profile pic. Reminds me of my hamster that passed many years ago. She was so loved! I am trying to stay positive in the face of....bleeding. I start to lose strength when I bleed this much each month. Do you have similar symptoms when it comes to withdrawals or you mean menstrual wise? So my most gnawing symptoms are heart palps, monophobia, agoraphobia, brain tightness when anxious, fatigue, slight DP/DR, insomnia and this forsaken bleeding. I'm hanging on with the rest of you and it's great to know I'm not alone.

I meant wd. I was scared of being alone, but not anymore. I've gotten used to it.

Oh and thanks for the picture, it's my hamster, Pippin. :) You should get one too again, they're lovely. Hope everything clears up with your menstruation, I don't have problems with bleeding altough it hurts much more now in wd. And pms makes my symptoms even more intense.

 

 

 Hooray the fear of being alone has gone away for you!  Mine really ramps up when family has to go away long distance, I have yet to cope with those.  Like I said above I'm sure your pms will improve vastly as the time off meds grows longer.  We can all get through this!

 

I will think about getting a hamster.  Just don't want to neglect a furry creature by either lack of interest or lack of money to upkeep their lifestyle :)

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • 4 months later...

Hello all, i'm going through a particularly rough time at the moment. Really disappointed that I get dragged back to a moment of pain and suffering at any given time like this. Its relentless. When will it end? I pray this goes away..in the moment and in the long term. This is so uncomfortable to deal with all the old symptoms that come back up from the grave. Sorry i'm complaining. Trying to stay hopeful but I can't amongst all these symptoms. it's like fighting an uphill battle and i'm exhausted. Where has my independence gone? My will to fight alone?

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • 1 month later...

Just checking in, I am a couple months away from the 3 year milestone and still feel particularly unwell. Most hated and unwanted symptoms are the heart palpitations and negative thinking. Anyone else suffer from these and does it disappear suddenly overnight or does it gradually improve?

 

While I am proud of how far I have come, I guess I'm still holding out for an overnight miracle. But I am proud, proud I made the most difficult choice to come off of something I used as a crutch many years ago and when faced with wretched pain and fears no one else could understand, I never looked back. Then I faced a nightmare within a nightmare with the benzo withdrawal and still I didn't give up. I've learned my lessons the hard way.

 

I don't know what the point of this post is lol but it sure feels good to type this out. It's a little bit of self acknowledgement. I hope many of you who are going through this knows that you are doing the right thing even though it feels like it isn't because it feels so crappy. Your future self will thank you for the choice you so valiantly made.

 

Ok i'm going to go back to try to distract from these palpitations. Wishing you all well!

Edited by scallywag
added paragraph breaks and white space

<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to tootsieroll: another member from PP

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