success ☼ Purplestars22: celexa withdrawal

[Hopefull]

Hi Purplestars22,

Just checking in to see how you are doing?

[joey122]

Hello I was wondering how your doing if your memoyr is getting better I heard fish oil helps

[Purplestars22]

Hello Wildflower, I am grateful that I can count on my parents but unfortunately no so much understanding on some siblings. This process made me realize that I have to count on my self and not care so much what others think about my situation. I hope in the near future I could develope healthy relationships. I wish the same that for you are able to see some improvements soon and that you had glimpses of hope today.

[Purplestars22]

Hey Hopeful, thanks for asking I am doing okay the symptoms are tolerable. Some rumination, brain fog, irrational thoughts. I spent some time in my backyard and that helped me.

[Purplestars22]

Hello joey122, unfortunately my short and long term memory is still bad. I consume foods that have omega 3's like chia and flaxseed seeds but I am interested in taking a fish oil supplement I will look into that. Hopefully walking daily will help my memory. Do you have memory problems?

[Tilly]

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

[Purplestars22]

Tilly, I cannot thank you enough for posting this beautiful quote. I will print it and read it regularly. Hope you are doing good.

[Tilly]

Tilly, I cannot thank you enough for posting this beautiful quote. I will print it and read it regularly. Hope you are doing good.

Glad it was received well, lovely.

 

I am mostly well and remaining positive in spite of a pesky wave that hit the last few days.

 

I hope that life is being as kind to you as you deserve.

 

Hugs,

 

Tilly

[tgirl]

Hey Purple,

Just checking in to see how you are going?

Hope you are well

Did you ever start your classes?

Tgirl

[Purplestars22]

Hello tgirl, I am in a harsh unsettling wave maybe brought on because of PMS. I dropped my college course since I felt I was not ready to tackle that kind of stressor. Thanks for asking hope you are doing well...

[Purplestars22]

"What you endure shows your courage. Don't be ashamed if you are not able to engage fully in life at this time. You WILL overcome your challenges and life will return to normal. One day your story will inspire others, including the people who doubted your judgement, your resilience and your ability to heal" Source: Bloom in Wellness Facebook Page

 

This encouraging quote is very meaningful for me because I have been extremely ill because of wd and have been painfully stigmatized. I am in aw that I am having new disheartening symptoms but there is also minuscule improvements. This process which seems never ending suffering is not comprehendible and have to remind myself that I will heal and hopefully rebuild my life from scratch when the time is right.

[AliG]

 Hi  PurpleS,

 

What a wonderful quote & so true !      I'm sorry that you have some new symptoms , but  I hope in time, they will ease up , as they all seem to do eventually .  .However,  It's encouraging that you have seen improvements.  Small, incremental  changes over a period of time, can add up to a whole  lot of healing , at the end of the day, in my opinion.

 

This process, can seem to be so slow & unrelenting , that I think it's very easy to lose track, of the progress that has already been made.  I hope you continue to  find the strength, to push forward to the " finishing line".  I'm sure it's not far away  !!  

 

Hugs,

 

Ali.

[Purplestars22]

Hey AliG, thanks for your nice words and for stopping in my thread.

[Flowers]

Love that quote Purplestars!  I am going to keep it handy so I can read it in times of need.

 

I know it's awful when new symptoms present themselves but if there are small improvements don't be too disheartened.

 

We will be well one day I am sure.

 

Flowers xxx

[Purplestars22]

Flowers, glad you liked the quote and that is good to keep it as a reference because it changes the perspective in all this. Thanks for your reply...

[Purplestars22]

*Triggering post* Such a hard day today I have been mentally disabled. I feel like my prefrontal cortex is not working properly I feel handicapped like I lost IQ points. I am so terrified that it could be this bad. I have been doing some sudoku games and luminosity. Please GOD help me heal and get my cognitive function back which I desperately want. I would like to release my emotions to cry but I am not able to.

[AliG]

 Purplestar,

 

I understand . This is so hard . 

 

I have had one of the worst days, as well .  I'm the opposite. I've been crying on & off , all day, only relieved by bouts of " extreme " anger !  Intense " neuro - emotions", coming in waves throughout the day.

 

I hope you feel better, tomorrow . 

[Purplestars22]

AliG, I hope you are able to cope well and thanks hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for both of us.

[AliG]

   Thanks  P. S . 

 

It will be ok  !      All good !   

[JanCarol]

Hey Purple - 

 

You wrote:

 

 

One of the symptoms I have been experiencing is hairloss and hair thining. I have been searching the net and found a DIY spray to apply to the hair.(http://wellnessmama....h-serum-recipe/). The ingredients include: Nettle, Horsetail, aloe vera gel, essential oils( lavender, rosemary). I hope the spray works and I am wondering if the herbs in the spray will cause an adverse reaction?
Any recommendations to hair loss? 

 

My GP - MD recommended this:  http://www.catwalk.com.au/activance-plus-leave-in-treatment-200ml/   Activance Plus Leave-in Treatment.  Best used on wet hair, but you can use it on dry hair, too.

 

I bought a bunch of it - it did not make my hair thicker or grow new hair, but it did seem to reduce hair loss.  It is an egg based treatment with Rhodianide and MSM.  When you put it on dry hair, it feels clean, makes it soft and not at all greasy like some leave in treatments (I have some macadamia nut oil and hemp seed oil treatments which are very greasy, as would be castor oil), and not as messy as putting an egg in your hair!

 

It is available in the US and UK, as well.  It's not a miracle, but while using it, I feel I can at least hold the condition I'm in, and not lose ground.  I had to cut about a foot off o my hair due to it's horrible condition.  It used to be my pride and joy, now it is just another thing I cannot fix (like my body parts that are fat or in pain and failing).

[Purplestars22]

Hello JanCarol thank you for posting on my thread and about the product I will look into it. Hair loss and hair thinning is a prominent problem for me, I will have to look into getting tests done to check for thyroid, vitamins and minerals. I hope it's something I could fix if its not I will just have to accept it. I know that there is steroid shots given is this safe for someone in wd?

 

I like reading your post throughout the forum because they show wisdom, and insight . You are able to show people what they are not consciously aware of and bring it surface. It shows your dedication that you read the whole threads and take a couple of posts to reply thoroughly. Wish you well, ps22

[Hopefull]

Hi Purplestars,

Rosmary oil and Bur or Burdock oil is supposed to be good for rejuvenating the hair.

It regenerates the hair follicle and prevents hair loss.

When you get a chance, Google the information.

Hope you are doing well.

Best wishes, Hopefull.

[Purplestars22]

Hello Hopefull, thanks for posting I have Rosemary oil but I will look into the Bur oil and google it. I have some stressors at the moment but trying to deal with them and thankfully has not made my wd symptoms worser. I will check your thread to see how you are doing. Wishing you well, ps22

[Purplestars22]

Very rough days to say the least with intense symptoms at 22 months off, having a hard time to calm my CNS. At least I was able to cry momentarily I wasn't able to since the beginning of the year which was frustrating. It brought some relief and I was able to pray to GOD to heal me and I am tired of feeling so unwell. Last year Novemeber and December were the hardest for me because of added stress of work and holidays that caused me to crash which was a horrific experience. I hope this year these months are easier for me.

I was thinking of reconnecting with someone but I am afraid that it would add stress but also I would have someone to socialize with. I am sick should i just wait until I get better and just focus on my healing any suggestions...I hope we all see better days soon...

[JanCarol]

Hey Purple - 

 

Yeah, my hair is sucky, too.  I used to have long, silky straight hair to my waist - when it was sun-kissed it had natural highlights of gold and red.  When it looked like that, I didn't mind going grey, but since it started failing, the gray hair just looks dingy.  I had to cut another 4 inches off last weekend.    It's now around my jaw, doesn't touch my shoulders at all.  I had all the thyroid, mineral, blah blah tests.  I look healthy enough - and nobody but hubby & me notice how bad my hair is (and he's too kind to do anything other than cut it when it gets horrible) - so it's difficult to get attention to this.  It literally drove me to despair (and my p-doc gave me an antidepressant for it).  I'm since off the antidepressant, but my hair is no better (though not horribly worse, either).  This process is now 5 years on.

 

BTW - the doc who prescribed the "Activance" for me - has female pattern baldness.  Her hair is dark, so it's difficult to notice.  But it hasn't fixed her problem, either.

 

Thanks for your kind words - I am slow.  Your thread it not long, but it's taken me 3 weeks to get through it all.  I fear I am not as timely as the other excellent mods here.  I try to think of it as "style," and make notes, and pray to be helpful!  But like with everything  - whether it is words - or supplements - or exercises - you just keep trying things until something sticks!  

 

My notes say to send you to: Neuro-emotion but it seems like you've been there by now.  Maybe now you'd like to:  Change the Channel

 

I am sorry you have such relentless suffering.  It does sound like rays of light are peeking in - it may not seem that way to you - but shifts in symptoms are awesome signs for healing and "growing a new brain."

 

Now, here's the compliment (and it's a weird one):  you write so well about your suffering.  You so clearly state what is happening in your pain and confusion.  It helps us to empathize with you - and while it is hard to see you suffer, I'm sure it's harder in your shoes.  I just want to state - you have a gift for expressing your feelings (even when they're awful) that I'm not sure I could do.  The challenge will be expressing those feelings when the feelings are not so intense.  When little things, like the feeling of a warm sweater, or a cup of cocoa, or a glint of sunlight - feel "normal."  I hope you can find a way to tell us about it!

 

My ex used to have terrible, horrible, earth shattering nightmares.  And they would go into hypnopompic states where the terror was in the room with him.  Sometimes I had to defend myself from him when he was in this state.  Eventually, I left the bedroom.  For awhile, I tried to help him with those states.  We called them "bring backs."  Sometimes he would have an image or a feeling, or a herculean task he couldn't finish, or a dark enemy, or a monster or . . . etc. etc. For awhile, when I took the time, at 4 am, to talk about his "bring backs" (what he "brought back" from that completely horrifying unconscious state) - he got slightly better.

 

So please, write about your bring backs, you are documenting the process so clearly - and maybe, just by putting them down, you can get better.

 

But don't forget to look for those tiny windows.  At first, they might only be the size of a head of a pin (you know how many angels fit on that?) - but eventually, they will expand as you heal.  And you will heal.  My favorite mantra is, "I will get better."  

 

I said it in yoga class tonight.  Those poor souls thought I meant that I would be better in yoga class next week, when I was thinking, oh, maybe in 6 months this won't hurt so much!  I said so.  I said, "Maybe next year."  They thought I was quite mad - but that's the kind of long term mindset I need in order to heal!  Gently, patiently, we can do this.

[Purplestars22]

Hello JanCarol, thanks for posting I am sorry to hear about your hair. I will look again into the neuroemotion and change the channel threads. I will write on my thread about the glimpses of windows that I have so it won't seem doom and gloom my thread. Thanks for saying that I am a good writer sometimes it doesn't feel like it because of the brain fog that I have. I think it might be painful to write about the "bring backs" but I will try. I love your mantra " I will get better" I will have to use it daily for positive reassurance. I hope you are doing well, ps22.

[JanCarol]

Hey Stars - 

 

How are you going?  I see you've been around the site - how is your journey through withdrawal going?

 

I found some old notes in my notebook (probably from 6 months ago, but here goes) about something you and Jen84 were talking about.

 

Jen84 said:

 

"The looking glass self"... How can we not care about what others think of us? When I was in a real state a few years back, someone said to me " it's none of your business what others think of you"! I always go back to that quote when I'm feeling judged or self conscious.

 

and you replied:

 

Hi jen84, It's hard not to think what others think about you and it's even more harder for me because I have social anxiety and am scared of judgement by others. That is great quote to use as reference when feeling self conscious.

 

My notes say this:  

 

I would take it to the next level, not only is it none of your business what others think (of you), you are not the center of anyone else's universe.  When you feel social anxiety, it helps to realize that - whoever they are - are locked in their own internal world, their own thoughts.  You are not the center of their world, they are.  And when you realize that you are completely irrelevant to their thought processes, perhaps that makes it easier?

 

They are not thinking about you - ever.  They are thinking of themselves, their partner, their children, their job, their spouses, their own anxiety about what you think about them!   It's narcissistic, but true.  People, 95% of the time, are thinking only of themselves.

 

Something to consider, when you think your thoughts and emotions are on display for all to see.

 

Cognitive distortions.

 

I hope you see the sun today, and I look forward to hearing from you!

[Purplestars22]

Hello JanCarol, I appreciate your post so much because it so true. I helps me to think that people are not judging me or even thinking about me because they are thinking about themselves. I am going to try to be more mindful of my thoughts and change them. Thanks for posting on my thread. I didnt leave my house today but will tomorrow hopefully for a walk and see the sun.

[Purplestars22]

I am close to being two years off Celexa in less than two weeks crazy. Recently I have inmense stress because of work and family and that may be affecting my recovery because before all this I was having semi windows. My father broke his leg and he is elderly so he going to take awhile for his recovery. I have been having crying spells because I am worried for him to not get worse and its hard for me to watch him in pain. I just have to remind myself that this is only temporary and he will get better. I pray for strenght for my father to get through this.

 

As for withdrawal I am still very much sick and impaired sadly to say. I have intense brain fog, my cognitive function greatly diminished, memory loss, inability to comprehend, mentally slow, feeling out of it, adrenaline/cortisol surging,agrographobia, irrational thoughts, low tolerance for stress, feel like I am loosing my mind/sanity, horror/terror, dread, fear,terrible insomnia,agitated, antsy, anxious,inability to socialize, symptoms that mimic serious mental illness, inability to watch tv and read because it will overstimulate my CNS, and many more.

There have been some things that have improved, less dp/dr, head pressure.(hopefully this list will get longer soon)

 

This has not been the easiest of journey to go through and I never thought in my life that this amount of suffering was possible. I have been suffering for three years now and its hard to look back and even remember to feel normal which is so sad. Lately I have been feeling like I am just so tired of all this, like my soul is tired. I just have to keep going forward and not let wd tear me down, I am strong and I just have to be hopeful that the future will be better. I have learned great coping skills and taking it easy because of this forum. Lately some family members make me feel guilty and judged because I am not paticipating in life being productive. They think I am just weak and I could snap out of it. They just dont understand wd and the complications that it brings a destabilized CNS. I am grateful that at least I know its wd and I am not ingesting mulitiple medication and getting worse. I am also thankful that i could participate in this forum and talk to others of this because in my real life I cant and it could be very lonesome. I wish everyone continued healing.

ps, I apologize for any grammar errors it's hard for me to write correctly in this state of mine.

[AliG]

Hi Purplestar,

 

I'm sorry for the added stress you have been through, recently. I'm sure your father will  continue to recover.  However, in the meantime, you have to take care of yourself.  At least your ability to cry has come back . As you said there have been other improvements. I  think that is the thing to focus on, right now. I'm sorry about your family, but don't feel alone in that as I, and I'm sure many others here , can attest to having very similar circumstances. Few people understand.  At least you do know, now , and as you said , you are strong , and can continue to power through this. I think you're doing awesomely well, and don't let anyone bring you down. I,like you didn't think this amount of suffering was possible, but as we now know , it definitely is.

 

"My soul is tired ".   I think you speak for a lot of us, with this .I know that is how I can feel some days, but we do have those coping skills , now.  We need to hold on to those. Keep practicing meditation & deep breathing, and practice good self- talk .  

Hugs, Ali.

[Purplestars22]

Hello AliG, you are right I have to take some time to take care of myself. At least I am able to cry for the whole year I was not able to, but it seems my emotions came back strong with neuroemotions. Thank you for saying that I am doing it well. I will keep doing the things you listed and hopefully that will bring some relief. Thanks for posting I hope you are managing well and my best wishes to you, ps22

[Purplestars22]

Reading Rhi's description of the brain remodeling process can be be discouraging for me and the what if thoughts come to play if i will ever heal? because I have many things that work against me. Such as I was put on Celexa at a young age, history of cold turkeys, many years on meds. At least I have had periods of semi windows and hopefully as the time goes by they last longer. I just pray to GOD that I am able to survive this and heal completely and lead a fulfulling life.

[nz11]

Purplestar just noticed your avatar ...i think it is brilliant .

image saved.

 

Purplestar don't give up hope you have many things that are working for you as well remember. For one thing younger people have a better chance of making a full recovery ..these are not my words they are Breggins.

 

Hang in there.

[Purplestars22]

Nz11, thanks I found the image in a google search and unfortunately it relates to my situation of being iatrogenic harmed. I will try my best to hang in there. I hope you are doing well, ps22

[Purplestars22]

It's been one year on this site I have learned a lot of self care and about wd.

I am very that I joined this site because I don't know where I would be without it. Thanks to the moderators and Alto for running a informative and supportive forum.

[Purplestars22]

It has been very rough for me lately with increased symptoms. At times I have very frightened that I may be developing psychosis or schizophrenia because of the symptoms that I have which are: flashing images when falling asleep, paranoia thoughts( I don't believe the thoughts), very stressed, cortisol surging, obsessive, not able to read and watch tv without getting stimulated, irrational thoughts, innability to learn, very bad memory/ cognitively impaired. I know I am catastrophising with thinking that it may more than wd. I may have all this symptoms because of added stress on a destabilized CNS. My CNS just needs more time to heal because of the erratic taper that I did hopefully this is only a temporary setback. I pray to GOD I can heal and be in a clear state of mind. For now I just have to take care of myself.