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☼ Purplestars22: celexa withdrawal


Purplestars22

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"Worsenings" happen - part of the windows and waves pattern of healing from this.

 

We think that we're not getting better because these waves come back, sometimes it seems worse.

 

You're still only two years out from last dose, like me.

 

I still get "worsenings" as recently as last month, but I came out of it. I'm doing better now.

 

I will probably have more "worsenings", but as time goes by, eventually they will go away.

 

Quite a few people who eventually healed were still very bad at two years out.

 

Things usually get better in the third year. 

 

It is hard to have hope when the waves come back, but time is on our side. 

 

We just have to hang in there and let time do its job.

 

I've hung in there for these two difficult years, and I look forward to improvements in this coming third year.

 

In this vulnerable state of a healing CNS, stress from life and stress simply from protracted WD take their toll and make us think we're losing it.

 

Keep taking care of yourself, that's great -

 

This is a tough road!

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

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Hello Clearday, thank you so much for your encouragement in this difficult time. Its great that you came out of your last wave and are doing well. It's just really tough being this miserable for two years and sometimes I think is it always going to be like this? but I just snap out of it and know this is only temporary. Before I got on meds I had difficulty dealing with stress but being in wd it's a whole different story it's 100% worse that bring horrific symptoms. I hope you are close to your healing this year because I know protracted wd take a toll. My best wishes, ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Lately I have been feeling like I am just so tired of all this, like my soul is tired.

 

I felt like that a lot last year, and my symptoms weren't even that bad, just a lot of depression.  I just felt tired of life, fed up with it all, didn't really want to be here any more.  That feeling is gone now (for the moment, anyway), so I think it can also be part of w/d.

 

It has been very rough for me lately with increased symptoms. At times I have very frightened that I may be developing psychosis or schizophrenia because of the symptoms that I have which are: flashing images when falling asleep, paranoia thoughts( I don't believe the thoughts), very stressed, cortisol surging, obsessive, not able to read and watch tv without getting stimulated, irrational thoughts, innability to learn, very bad memory/ cognitively impaired. I know I am catastrophising with thinking that it may more than wd. I may have all this symptoms because of added stress on a destabilized CNS. My CNS just needs more time to heal because of the erratic taper that I did hopefully this is only a temporary setback. I pray to GOD I can heal and be in a clear state of mind. For now I just have to take care of myself.

 

I don't think it's psychosis, just another facet of w/d.  Catastrophising is also an aspect of w/d.  All those symptoms sound pretty "normal" for w/d.  Taking care of yourself is a very good idea!  It sounds like you have some good coping skills, being able to observe the irrational thoughts and not believing them.

 

I know it doesn't feel like it, but I believe the varying symptoms are signs of the body trying to rebalance itself.  It may feel like chaos, but actually the healing is in process. 

 

I think of it as a bit like when you have to tidy a very messy room (or garage, which is something I'm psyching myself up to do - you should see our garage - no you shouldn't, nobody should, it's so terrible).  At first it looks worse, because you have to pull everything out , figure out what everything is, and then sort through it all and then organise everything, before you put stuff back in a better way than before (and chuck out the rubbish).  Healing from withdrawal isn't exactly like that, because your brain doesn't pull everything out of its place, but it does have to keep going around the different systems, sorting and reorganising over and over again until everything is back where it should be.  So it's a similar principle of a process in which things have to get worse before they can be made better.  (((Hugs)) for you.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Purplestar,

Happy New Year. I hope this year brings healing & happiness. :)

Love, Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Purplestars, I have the same, the feeling as if I were on the verge of schizophrenie. Which kind of flashing pictures do you have? I have mostly nightmare like pictures before falling asleep like snakes running on me or monsters and similar things. Do you also have such?

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Hello Songbird, thankfully I haven't had that level of feeling tired from all this. It can be very discouraging being that exhausted but its all part of the process of wd. I try my best to not bring attachment to my thoughts and feelings and just let them pass. It's so vital to have coping skills for wd and that is one thing that I have learned in this whole process. The healing process is very confusing since its not linear. Thanks for posting in my thread I got more of an understanding of the healing process.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hello AliG, thank you you I wish you the same as well.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hello Martina23, I am also dealing with that issue but not the same images as you. It's a so horrific but hopefully it will pass for us.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have had some moments during the evening and mornings that have been pleasant a clear state of mind and peace without cortisol surging, fear, terror or dread. Even though they are fleeting I deeply appreciate those moments because they are rare for me because of the nonstop symptoms that I have experienced. It just shows that from moment to moment things can change because earlier in the evening I was experiencing irrational thoughts and cortisol surging. This may seem insignificant to someone not in wd but it just shows how severe my journey has been with nonstop psychological symptoms. After this is all done I will be grateful for the small things in life and in joy to be in a clear state of mind. I just wanted to post this so that I won't forget and post something positive. I hope everyone is managing well and wish you all healing.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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It is just wonderful to read that you have had moments of peace and clarity. I too know how important they can be when going through WD and all it's nasty symptoms.

 

Hold on to those moments - it is a taste of what life will be like when we are healed and will hopefully give you strength when times are tough.

 

So pleased for you.

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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I have had some moments during the evening and mornings that have been pleasant a clear state of mind and peace without cortisol surging, fear, terror or dread. Even though they are fleeting I deeply appreciate those moments because they are rare for me because of the nonstop symptoms that I have experienced. It just shows that from moment to moment things can change because earlier in the evening I was experiencing irrational thoughts and cortisol surging. This may seem insignificant to someone not in wd but it just shows how severe my journey has been with nonstop psychological symptoms. After this is all done I will be grateful for the small things in life and in joy to be in a clear state of mind. I just wanted to post this so that I won't forget and post something positive. I hope everyone is managing well and wish you all healing.

 

Yes, it is during those windows of normalcy that we truly see how much we've been tortured over the last couple of years.

 

Like Flowers said, these are hints of life to come.

 

Our return to some type of normalcy won't come fast enough, but it will come.

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

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Hello Flowers, yes I will cherish those moments when it gets tough. Thank you for posting on my thread and hope you are doing well in your taper. Best wishes, ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hello Clearday, what a difference of the windows and wave it's like day and night. Thank you for posting on my thread and congrats being 23 months off, time is the healer of wd.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment
  • Administrator

I have had some moments during the evening and mornings that have been pleasant a clear state of mind and peace without cortisol surging, fear, terror or dread. Even though they are fleeting I deeply appreciate those moments because they are rare for me because of the nonstop symptoms that I have experienced. It just shows that from moment to moment things can change because earlier in the evening I was experiencing irrational thoughts and cortisol surging. This may seem insignificant to someone not in wd but it just shows how severe my journey has been with nonstop psychological symptoms. After this is all done I will be grateful for the small things in life and in joy to be in a clear state of mind. I just wanted to post this so that I won't forget and post something positive. I hope everyone is managing well and wish you all healing.

 

I love to see posts like this. Good to see you're having these windows, PS.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am close to being two years off Celexa in less than two weeks crazy. Recently I have inmense stress because of work and family and that may be affecting my recovery because before all this I was having semi windows. My father broke his leg and he is elderly so he going to take awhile for his recovery. I have been having crying spells because I am worried for him to not get worse and its hard for me to watch him in pain. I just have to remind myself that this is only temporary and he will get better. I pray for strenght for my father to get through this.

As for withdrawal I am still very much sick and impaired sadly to say. I have intense brain fog, my cognitive function greatly diminished, memory loss, inability to comprehend, mentally slow, feeling out of it, adrenaline/cortisol surging,agrographobia, irrational thoughts, low tolerance for stress, feel like I am loosing my mind/sanity, horror/terror, dread, fear,terrible insomnia,agitated, antsy, anxious,inability to socialize, symptoms that mimic serious mental illness, inability to watch tv and read because it will overstimulate my CNS, and many more.

There have been some things that have improved, less dp/dr, head pressure.(hopefully this list will get longer soon)

This has not been the easiest of journey to go through and I never thought in my life that this amount of suffering was possible. I have been suffering for three years now and its hard to look back and even remember to feel normal which is so sad. Lately I have been feeling like I am just so tired of all this, like my soul is tired. I just have to keep going forward and not let wd tear me down, I am strong and I just have to be hopeful that the future will be better. I have learned great coping skills and taking it easy because of this forum. Lately some family members make me feel guilty and judged because I am not paticipating in life being productive. They think I am just weak and I could snap out of it. They just dont understand wd and the complications that it brings a destabilized CNS. I am grateful that at least I know its wd and I am not ingesting mulitiple medication and getting worse. I am also thankful that i could participate in this forum and talk to others of this because in my real life I cant and it could be very lonesome. I wish everyone continued healing.

ps, I apologize for any grammar errors it's hard for me to write correctly in this state of mine.

hi Purplestar,

Just found you from another topic and read through the main lines of your story.

I'm so very sorry you have been suffering for this long without much improvement since stopping Celexa. You are very strong going through all these and staying hold!! Hats off to you! I am so happy for you that you didn't reinstate as it could have made things even worse. And congratulations to you for being off 2+ years!

 

I am still no lexapro, a close brand to Celexa. I recen,y developed very severe mental problems, every symptom you listed above. I'm too still trying every bit of my effort to hold a job which requires intelligent thinking. I feel more each day that this dead brain I have can't hold the job any longer. I wonder how you manage your job and if there is any improvement in anything lately for you?

 

From reading others stories, I believe you are very close to the end of tunnel. It could happen any day or hour in a sudden way.

 

You hang in just a bit more like you have always been doing, the brain eventually heal starting from the zero dose and you are already at the magic point.

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi Purplestars,

 

You will get better.

I have not been myself for the last 2 years either, but I am seeing improvements.

The WDS symptoms that you have described, I can relate to.

But it will pass. I am starting to see bit of improvement.

Andrenalin surges will subside eventually in time.

I have not had them in a long time.

Things that you did not have before meds will go away eventually. Please don't loose hope.

You will get better, give it time.

Your dad will get better. You sound like a really loving daughter.

"I feel like my soul is tired", at some point the tiredness will ease.

Your soul will feel light and happy again.

Just keep on going.

Best wishes, Hopefull. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Hello Lex, its been tough going through wd for this long but I feel because of this process is I have learned self care which I didn't practice before this. I reinstated one year off at 5mg for five days and it made me feel like I was high, I had intense brain fog(like my head was completely empty had no thoughts) it was scary so I stopped. I think you are right it could have made things worse.

 

I am sorry you are going through this and that it's been hard lately. The reasons that I am still able to work is because its only a couple of days a week for a couple of hours and its retail so it's not mentally strenuous. It is still hard for me to work when I am in a wave with debilitating symptoms and have to do customer service. After work I like to do EFT and mindfullness breathing to release the stress from the day and sometimes it helps. I hope you are able to make arrangements on your job such as less hours and be able to keep it. Since that is a stressor take care of yourself and do the 100 things of self care tips that is mentioned here.

 

Thank you so much for your kind words it brought me sense of reassurance that I will get better soon. I hope you get well soon and wish you healing.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hello Hopeful, I am glad that you are seeing improvement and with time there will be more I am sure. My symptoms have subsided since December thankfully it was just a really bad wave. My dad is healing well he has a cast on so his recovery will take some time. Thank you for being so much for your compassionate words it means a lot.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

Thank you Purplestar!

 

I'm glad the work is not too demanding for you and you exercise good self care to help with the most horrendous process.

 

Have you find any improvement with the brain function? Does it have a pattern over time or within a day?

 

Sending hugs to you!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hey Lex, I have some slight lessening of brain fog than what it was during acute wd. It's one if the symptoms that I experience daily all the time. It's very frustrating because it slows me down and I am not able to do mental higher functions. I haven't been able to see a pattern over time or during the day because its all the same unfortunately.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

You are most welcome Purplestars.

:) Sometimes we just need words of encouragement.

Waves create cobwebs, we can't see beyond our suffering.

But once the wave is over, we can see a bit clearly.

Stay strong. :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

In the past month, my symptoms have been debilitating brain fog, chronic fatigue, low energy, low bp, irrational thoughts, looping thoughts, OCD, fear, terror, blank mind, antsy. Then I have the what if thoughts if this is a serious mental disease or that i am loosing it but then i have to remember that it's wd and my brain is remodeling itself and healing is taking place. I enrolled in a class for the semester because I felt I would be be able to handle and felt like I took a long enough break from school which was a year. But looking back it may have not been the wisest decision because its two days a week and 4 hours each day so I might be too much stimuli but its too late to withdraw and don't want to have that in my record since I have too many already. I was just tired of being stagnant in my schooling and wanted to move forward. I hope by taking this class it does not impede my wd journey. I will try my best to not fall behind and stay up to date to avoid any stress. I should of put my healing as the first priority which is the thing that matters most because being healthy makes it possible for a person to be productive. I hope everyone is managing well.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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  • 1 month later...

Hey Purplestars! Thanks for stopping by my thread and for telling me your story. I'm in a bit of a dark place so it helped. I'll catch up with your thread soon..just in a pretty bad wave atm. I read your last post about the college course and just wanted to say good luck but tread lightly. I enrolled full-time 2 years into WD and had to stop 2 months in..made my symptoms worse. For myself, if I could do the past 4.5 years over, I would have created as much stability as possible..least amount of stress. I believe I would've recovered by now. I guess hindsight is always 20/20. Sorry..not trying to discouraging. Just sharing my own experiences. Good luck!

Intermittent Klonopin use February, 2014 to September, 2015

- Off of SSRIs completely since April, 2012 

- Had horrible side effects from Celexa (constant feelings of terror, insomnia) so stopped taking it after 6 weeks

- Started 20 mg of Celexa in February 2012

- Began to taper off of Zoloft in May, 2011, off Zoloft completely September, 2011

- Increased Zoloft to 75 mg October, 2010 and decreased back to 50 mg in February, 2011

- June 2009- Went on 50 mg of Zoloft

- October, 2007 - July, 2008- Celexa 20 mgs (tapered off fairly quickly)

- 2006-2007- On Effoxor for about 8 months- switched to Prozac and cold turkeyed off

- 2005- Paxil and Lamictal for a few months but stopped taking because it didn't work

- 2004- Paxil for a few months but quit taking because of increased feelings of depression

 

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Hey Celeste, I hope your wave passes soon, dont worry about catching up only when you feel well. Thanks for sharing your experience its very useful. Taking that class has revved up some symptoms and new ones have arose. Doing too much impedes the process of healing but its very hard just to let life pass. But at the end it's worth taking it easy because it means a faster healing and less intense waves. Hope you had moments of peace today. Ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

I can totally relate on struggling with letting life pass! I actually haven't been able to do it. I have to now with this recent crash. That has been my experience though...the more stress I put on myself over the years..the worse symptoms got and new ones came. Im really done with the adding of new symptoms..especially these new ones with the crash..fortunately the symptoms always come and go once I let the stress up so I'm sure the new ones will pass. But yes I agree..totally worth taking it easy in the long run...slow and steady really wins the race with what we're dealing with.

Intermittent Klonopin use February, 2014 to September, 2015

- Off of SSRIs completely since April, 2012 

- Had horrible side effects from Celexa (constant feelings of terror, insomnia) so stopped taking it after 6 weeks

- Started 20 mg of Celexa in February 2012

- Began to taper off of Zoloft in May, 2011, off Zoloft completely September, 2011

- Increased Zoloft to 75 mg October, 2010 and decreased back to 50 mg in February, 2011

- June 2009- Went on 50 mg of Zoloft

- October, 2007 - July, 2008- Celexa 20 mgs (tapered off fairly quickly)

- 2006-2007- On Effoxor for about 8 months- switched to Prozac and cold turkeyed off

- 2005- Paxil and Lamictal for a few months but stopped taking because it didn't work

- 2004- Paxil for a few months but quit taking because of increased feelings of depression

 

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  • 1 month later...

I am in a really bad shape yet again at almost 2 years and a half in a wave maybe brought by doing too much, the heat or the monthly cycle. I feel very out of it, horrible cognition, terror, brain fog, feel very slow, feel like I am loosing my rational mind, chronic fatigue, irrational thoughts, intrusive dark thoughts, insomnia, neuroemotion, symptoms that mimic serious mental illness(schizo, pychosis, etc). I am really scared that my life will be like this in the years to come and be worse. I feel tired and defeated by my situation of how tough wd has been for me leaving me disabled. So far there hasn't been a great deal of improvents just less dp/dr. I dont have the motivation lately to post anything due to I feel like i have nothing to say which is so sad.

 

But one way or another I have to change my thoughts and say this is only temporary and this too shall pass. Healing thoughts to everyone...

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hi Purplestars, I have it too. I hope it subsides for you soon. I dont understand it by me either. How can it take so long.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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"Even though I don't know who I am anymore, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. I am scared to face the world. I am so uncomfortable with all has happened, why me?, why me? I don't deserve this, but I survived I am a survivor. I'am healthy. I am alive and I could explore new diets, ways of livings and with my health I will live beyond my wildest dreams. I am supported" - Gabrielle Bernstein

I saw this in a video in YouTube from OWN network channel Gabrille helping someone to deal with her struggles by emotional freedom tapping.

I will use this quote while tapping to let go of some the trauma that I have bc of withdrawal and life events.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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Hi purplestars-

 

just want to say you're not alone,I feel many of the same things as you, am so tired of dealing w/this.

 

I hope the eft helps you.

 

take care,ds

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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Hello direstraits, sorry that you are going through this also and thanks for your reply. I hope you found moments of peace today...

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

Sorry you're having a touch time PS..hope the tapping helps. I found it very helpful with releasing older traumas...did videos on fear and shame. The shame one was super helpful. I have a lot of shame for some childhood traumas and then this drug injury was a trauma on another level that deepened that shame. But it's not our fault. Anyway..hope you are finding relief with the EFT. -C

Intermittent Klonopin use February, 2014 to September, 2015

- Off of SSRIs completely since April, 2012 

- Had horrible side effects from Celexa (constant feelings of terror, insomnia) so stopped taking it after 6 weeks

- Started 20 mg of Celexa in February 2012

- Began to taper off of Zoloft in May, 2011, off Zoloft completely September, 2011

- Increased Zoloft to 75 mg October, 2010 and decreased back to 50 mg in February, 2011

- June 2009- Went on 50 mg of Zoloft

- October, 2007 - July, 2008- Celexa 20 mgs (tapered off fairly quickly)

- 2006-2007- On Effoxor for about 8 months- switched to Prozac and cold turkeyed off

- 2005- Paxil and Lamictal for a few months but stopped taking because it didn't work

- 2004- Paxil for a few months but quit taking because of increased feelings of depression

 

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Hey Martina23, sorry I missed your post. We will get through this one way or another. This is all so confusing but let's keep in mind that this is only temporary and not our true selves. Best wishes ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

Hey Celeste, thankfully this week has been much better the wave might have been really bad because of PMS. The tapping has been helpful I am also trying to motivate myself to do daily qigong but it's really hard bc of the lack of motivation. I am glad that the tapping worked out for you for releasing trauma. It's always good to release negative energy that the body carries. Thanks for your post... Ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

Hey Purplestar . I'm sorry to hear you're struggling but you have been strong and have such a positive attitude. I'm noticing improvements myself and it's taken a while. You mentioned doing too much and I have found that can definitely bring on a wave. Try and be gentle with yourself as our CNS needs calm and peace.  I hope it starts to turn around for you soon.

Hugs.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hey AliG, it's been a while since we have 'talked'. It's nice to see you as a mod being so helpful to others sharing your knowledge and experience. I am so content that things are getting better for you that's wonderful. I am learning to be gentle with myself it's an ongoing process. I can't afford to get worse or crash again. Thank you so much I hope we both see improvements soon. Ps22

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Purplestars

Thank you so much for stopping by my thread despite your own hardship.

Some of the symptoms you have described, I have also experienced.

Flashing images before sleeping, loud thoughts, obssessing over symptoms, cortisol surges, irrational thoughts, fear of going mad, etc.

Some of the symptoms have disappeared but new symptoms emerge.

How are you doing now?

What are your current symptoms?

We will get there snd heal in the end.

I wish you all the best.

Take care, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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