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Alaskamom - Another, and hopefully final, try! Former PPer


alaskamom

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Hi everyone - I am a 42-year-old homeschool mom of 3 girls ages 11, 13 and 15. I've been married to my DH for 23 years and live in Alaska. My journey with Paxil began in 1998 when I told my family doc I was homesick after moving away from home for the first time to a new state. I had two children while on Paxil, and then tried to quit in 2001. I followed doctor's advice and ended up having a devastating anxiety attack that landed me in the hospital for a week. It was so bad I couldn't see my DH or children as they made my anxiety level much worse. I tried to go home and ended up back in the hospital as it caused another anxiety attack. So I reinstated Paxil and then tried to change to other antidepressants (per my doctor's orders) and to wean-- all ended unsuccessfully with anxiety problems.

 

I had my last child while on Paxil and then resigned myself to being on it forever. Tapered down and then back up over the years. My DH is in the healthcare field and was learning more and more about the dangerous side effects of antidepressants and wanted me off. (I wanted me off too - lol.) Finally found PP, a website that taught me how to taper slowly, and I am at the lowest dose I have been in 16 years. I realized the drug had quit working for me years ago and was causing me lots of problems. I am managing anxiety on my own, and with some help from a super-antihistamine that helps calm me down when my body freaks out.

 

Mornings are the hardest,, as many of you know. I fear and dislike waking with the morning anxiety and dread. I use exercise, prayer, and quiet time to manage my anxiety. I recently just moved from bush Alaska to a real city! It was a horrible two-week anxiety-provoking adventure, but we are here and I made it though! I am glad to have a lifeline and support again.

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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I was a member of PP as well (kairbear over there) Glad you found this site and joined. Welcome. I agree that the feelings of anxiety and dread are horrible. I have them as well. Congrats on the success of your taper this time around.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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Glad you found us!  There is a lot of good information here.

Paxil 20mg 1994-2005
Tried to quit twice, finally did it on my 3rd attempt in 2005.

I went from 20mg to zero in about four months, believing at the time that it was a reasonable taper.  It wasn't.  I suffered mostly emotional symptoms: frequent episodes of "anxious depression" lasting for about 17 months before it got noticeably better.

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Hi alaskamom-- it's good to see that you made it over here.  I hope all is going well getting ready for your other big move.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Good to see you here, Alaskamom!  Difficult dose ranges vary between individuals, but I also had a lot of trouble with the dose range you are in now.  I believe there is a point or threshold where the drug goes from "working" to "not working", and that these thresholds can be different for different subsystems of the body, which may be why symptoms can change as our dose gets lower.  I think it is good to taper very slowly through these difficult ranges so that going from "working" to "not working" doesn't happen as suddenly, if that makes any sense.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Wondering about B12?  I began taking B12 injections about a year ago for fatigue, lethargy, mental fog, etc.  Sound familiar?  That was before I really intensely began tapering at the 10% rate every 4 weeks.  I didn't realize it was withdrawal and/or Paxil doing it.  B12 did help with the energy boost, but most of the time I can say I don't need it.  Since I am on such a small Pax dose, my energy level is very high and at a near-anxiety attack level most of the time.  There are some waves of fatigue and lethargy when I crave coffee and the B12, but I quit taking it a few weeks ago as I was over the moon with energy and anxiousness.  Now I am craving my B12 shot.  Anyone have experience with this?  I should really just enjoy the break from the hyperactivity, but I need a mood lift!

 

Going to a new church today.  We went last week, but meeting new people requires lots of energy and reserves I am short of these days.  Need to get my game face on and that's where the B12 would help with some energy!

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Glad you found your way here. :)

 

Welcome.

2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....

5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

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Hi, alaskamom! Welcome! Glad your taper seems to be working for you. Yes, I agree--mornings are the worst. Hope you like it here!!

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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So, I wanted to write about the last couple weeks of my life, since I finally found the PP people :)  I've been anticipating a move from this horrible rural Alaska town I've lived in for 6 years.  So, the good news was my DH got a great job in a nice city in Alaska.  We moved ahead of him two weeks ago which is a stretch for me.  (new town, new people, new everything)  I got to babysit the moving team that flew into the bush town to help us, organize, sell and give away most everything including all the furniture and beds.  Got on a plane and began a new life.

 

We already bought a house in the new city, but we have a friend housesitting.  He is also waiting for a house to close, so we chose not to displace him in our house and went to a hotel.  Great idea as we were so busy with everything and a few mini disasters that I couldn't have provided a nice, warm home with real beds if I wanted to.

 

The first thing I had to do was pick up a car my DH bought online from craigslist.  Because the guy selling it was an auto body shop owner, my DH forewent having a mechanic examine it.  I didn't even drive it before we bought it.  It was a great deal.....  Had it checked by a mechanic who said nothing was wrong and cleared it.  Slid all over the place on the icy roads, so made two visits to tire shops to find the tires are fine - everyone's sliding.  Okay.  Until the electricity began flashing on and off, and finally a week later, all the electrical failed,, except the driver's window which kept going up and down by itself.  Took it to Walmart Auto as it was the only one open on a Sunday and they are clueless.  So... had it towed to a shop to be checked out about a week later. 

 

After 3 rental cars and a ton of stress that we bought a lemon, the dealership said it was a  loose ground fault wire.  Fixed it up for $136 and seems to be okay.  Now I am imagining that the lights are blinking on/off occasionally and worrying that something is wrong.  sigh...  Did I mention, I despise auto shops and am ignorant of all things automotive.

 

Then, we got to babysit movers here who brought in our air frieght, unpacked that, then the rest of our stuff came, unpacked that, looked like a bomb went off.  Spent the next 4 days organizing.  No furniture yet...  My DH found a guy selling a houseful of furniture for a great price on a plane ride!  Guy works on the North Slope so he is never home where we can get it.  So no furniture - guy keeps bailing on coming home.  He is supposed to come tomorrow so we can get the furniture (beds most important) and FINALLY check out of the hotel.

 

Meanwhile, my DH bought another vehicle off Craiglist.  He flew my eldest to Anchorage to pick up the vehicle and drive home to Fairbanks with him.  So, up at 3:30, to the airport, back home, and trying to stalk furniture guy on text so we can rent a truck and get furniture tomorrow.  If he made it home.

 

In the middle of all this, I have 3 teenage daugthers who are lonely and wanting to get plugged in.  2 of 3 have copped MAJOR attitudes with me and are trying to get us kicked out of the hotel by screeching at each other and me.  My eldest has been very sick and finally began turning blue.  I think I discovered I was giving her too high of an iron supplement dose and making her sick :(  STRESS for her and me...  She seems to be getting better, but bad momma here....

 

Went to a new church, put on a brave face for the girls and drove them in the rental car and/or dubious electrical functioning car to various youth group functions late at night.  Talked them through new experiences and the inevitable girl cliques that breaks hearts.  I have met so many new people:  mechanics, clerks, cab drivers, rental car and airport people, kids, church people, and even a visit to Bassett Army Hospital to have my eldest checked out.  I am done.

 

During all this, I had so much energy I could have flown around the world without an airplane.  Waking every couple hours, early morning dread, tearful.  AND, we are in the deep darkness of winter.  Today is the shortest day (daylight speaking) of the year.  Get up in dark, 2 hours of light, back in the dark.  Very depressing and oppressive.

 

ALSO trying to get Christmas together for my family.  I feel I am failing as I try to make it nice for my family every year.  My DH and my family never do much for us or our kids for Christmas, and we are always far from family.  I bought a new tree, new decorations, bought gifts, wrapped, etc.  Not much for the spiritual Advent, traditions like cookie making, Christmas movies or just enjoying holiday.

 

We have been off homeschool for about 3 weeks.  I had hoped to start back after Christmas is over and shorten our holiday break, but I don't think we are ready.  Stressing that we are going to forget everything, especially math, and it will be a disaster to start again.

 

Back to my daughters....  Trying to encourage them to try new activities so they will find kids their age.  They are being hermits and refusing to try new things except church youth group.  Then they are sad when the kids are cliquey.  So I try to find them more ways to plug in and they refuse.  Sigh....  Then they complain that the "public school" kids are not nice (please don't be offended if you have public school kids - I know they are not always that way), but then beg to go to public school where they will be around the kids all day 5 days a week!

 

Haven't seen my DH in a couple weeks.  Haven't been alone in a much longer time.  Can't shake my kids to do any Christmas shopping, buy Christmas dinner food, or to renew my mind.  Even sharing a hotel room with everyone.

 

I think I am holding up better than I thought.  I also stepped down to my next 10% taper on Dec. 16 because I lost my pill cutter and most of my remnant pieces met the right weight requirement, and I couldn't cut them down anyway until I get a new one.  Can't remember to do that of course :-/  Think I feel the drop today - it's not a great time as more church and new people today, but if I survived the last two weeks, I can survive a week or two of feeling crappy with a MUCH reduced stress load.

 

DH arrives tonight with my eldest and his newest Craigslist truck - which seems to be running and doing well.  So far....  Add one more to the hotel room tonight.  Sigh.

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Wow... What a story! Hope you enjoy the holidays and your new home! Hope the next step in your taper is not too hard on you. I wish I had known to taper. I'm afraid mine was more what they call a "cold turkey taper", and I am paying for it dearly now! Best wishes!!

Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).

Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

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Bloody hell Alaskamom!   All that AND going through wd as well?   You are amazing!

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Wow dealing with all that is insane without the withdrawals. Ever is right. Bless you dear. You have alot on your plate.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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  • Moderator

You're doing great!!!!!  Making moves like that are harrowing in the best of times.  Having moved a gazillion times I know that it will settle down pretty soon.  Be careful with the B12 as you have seen it is very stimulating, and can cause some real anxiety problems.

 

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

You are doing brilliantl to deal with all that.  Make sure to take some time out to rest and recover, it is very important when you are constantly stimulating your nervous system with all that stressful stuff.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Alaskamom.

 

Very impressive energy level as it is! You might want to try sublingual vitamin B12, in tablets.

 

For the anxiety on waking, we suggest keeping the bedroom very dark in the morning, with blackout shades. Also use a sleep mask. It's the light that triggers the daytime activating hormone, cortisol.

 

See more in the Symptoms and Self-Care forum.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Happy New Year AM.  Such a new beginning for you, starting over in so many ways, I'm very excited for you.  I hope the new year brings tons of improvements.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thanks, Brass!  Been thinking of you and your tooth.  Will have to read up on how it's going.  We've had another week or two of chaos that comes with moving.  I think we are finally settling in.  It seems a new house requires lots of new challenges and adjustments, never mind a new town, church, etc.

 

Now I am two weeks into my latest taper drop.  Feeling it a little bit - weepy, super high energy level, morning anxiety.  However, I have learned that when my mind starts worrying at 4 am, I just tell myself not to think about whatever topic it is currently trying to worry about.  There are certain topics that make me crazy - like the status of the "new" used vehicle we bought and it's latest scary trip to the mechanic, or the drafty, cold house we bought that we are trying to winterize better.

 

The weepiness is kind of new.  Usually, especially on Paxil, I never got weepy - ever.  Now I am getting sad more often.  Probably good to get that back!

 

Started a new Zumba class here with my 3 daughters at the local Army post since we get military privileges.  It's pretty fun - more hip hop, high energy than the usual Latin dance we've been doing, but it's something.  Hard to meet people at first in a new city.  Trying to get my daughters plugged in as they are driving me insane with being by my side 24/7.  I am forcing them to try some things to get them out of the house!  

 

I've had a lot of joint pain this round.  Seems to come and go and when I am having a rough withdrawal time it is worse.  Last night and today it's been my hips keeping me up.  It also seems to strike when I overdo it during the day physically and emotionally.

 

Good news though - love our new church.  That was a huge stressor as our last church was extremely weak and lacked any kind of support.  In fact, it was kind of the opposite of what it should have been :(  Past the initial nervousness of meeting new people...

 

Started homeschool this week since we started Christmas break early.  Hard to get back in the groove.  Takes more time to get around in a big(gish) city, so having to adjust our schedule to accommodate a longer time to do errands and cart kids around.

 

Signing off for now.  Still alive in Fairbanks....  Paula

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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So... having the usual trouble with sleep.  Sleeping in short starts, never very deeply.  Waking up early at 4 or 5 am with anxiety.  It actually gets worse if I can get myself to go back to sleep after that.  When I wake up an hour or so later, I startle awake and usually have anxious dreams and feel crappy and anxious until late morning.

 

I am getting so I am afraid of waking up!  It's not every night, so that's a blessing.  It could be worse.  I just hate mornings.

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Hi Alaskamom, sooo glad u made it over here.....I needed a fellow mom of young'uns.

I cant believe the changes you have survived in wd. i hate change, you are doing amazing! Happy about your new church too, your old one sounds like my current one. Blach. Im glad you arent still cooped up in a tiny place homeschooling, the very thought made me anxious. So...your anxiety mornings sound a lot like how mine work too. Im ok lately, but when it gets rough, I have the same things, happen around the same times, 4-6am, and jolting awake bla bla bla until late morning, then much better by evening. I hope you get a break soon. Moving and starting over like youa re would put me over the top, wow. Also, I had a harder time under 7mg also, and under 4 too...but things seem to be easing up since 2mg. There are definately easier points, they'll come for you too. hang in there!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Aberdeen, we are certainly less cranky and freaked out in our larger space! It will be even better when the kids are plugged in and have outings - away from me!

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Having a hard time today. Forced to entertain guests tonight. Entertaining has always been hard for me but worse in withdrawal. It is the last thing I want to do these days. We just moved into our house, pictures aren't even up, among other things. Friends sent this huge UNCOOKED ham which is like a whole pig leg to us and two other local friends. It came to our house completely cured but with mold (safe they say) that you scrape off, and hang in the garage, so we are on the hook for cooking and having them over. Came with dried beans (which I can handle), biscuit mix and bourbon hot chocolate (is this okay for kids?). Had my 5 am wake up anxiety attack consisting of fear that I will poison everyone and dread of having company. So new freaky food, guests and meal prep and cleaning all day while homeschooling :(. Also kids begging to do other things tonight instead of having guests. Sigh, me too... Oh and kids put meat thermometer in dishwasher so must traverse new city to buy one for giant pig leg.

 

Sorry, I just don't feel up to this. Can barely remember my name today. DH, bless his heart, wonders what the big deal is!

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Check out this bad boy :(

post-3967-0-49616900-1420833095_thumb.jpg

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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  • Moderator

www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/alton-brown/country-ham.html

 

This immediately came to mind when I saw the picture, don't know if it will help or not. 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thanks Brassmonkey!  I think there needs to be a support hotline for this sort of thing.  I ended up gushing about my problems to the grocery store clerk who tried to offer help.  I made it through.  Just waiting for everyone to arrive now.

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hope it went well and you had a lovely evening, you were very brave to do that and I admire your courage!

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Oh boy< that sounds awful, sorry but it does, hope it went ok and you got SOME fun from it!!?

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Yeah, I don't think I could cope with that, you are brave.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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It was alright.  The ham was definitely weird, but everyone was nice and I survived!  Today, though everything went in the toilet :(

 

The day started off great with a trip with the DH to Lowes and Sam's Club this morning.  It's like a mini-date for us - one of the few times we get out sans kiddos.  Got home and the girls were arguing and then tattled like crazy to us.  To make a long story short, everyone freaked out, yelled at each other, my poor little nervous system overshot and I began screaming and totally lost it.  The girls tattled to me about each other and my DH.  He yelled at me because they were bickering.   I kicked a door and left a big dent in it.  My DH then locked me in the garage!  This is so bizarre.

 

They left to go sledding this afternoon and I was alone - which was good because I had it with everyone.  I've mentioned before that I have an eating disorder.  I've had it since 21 years old.  A 42-year-old bulemic is not a pretty sight.  Well, it's been "dormant" for a couple years - maybe has morphed into an exercise obsession which is less destructive.  Today, I totally binged and ate until my stomach hurt.  My stomach digested and I went and ate more.  I don't normally keep goodies in the house because of my eating disorder, but we had leftovers from company last night.  I am gluten-free (mostly) because of joint pain and inflammation, but all the goodies had gluten in them (I do feed it to others).  Fortunately, I didn't / can't go beyond the binge to purge.  (I am being totally honest here - gross huh?)  It hurts too much in my old age.  This scares me as I haven't eaten like this (to calm down or just without control) for a LONG time.  I even took 1/4 tablet of my antihistamine to calm me down.

 

I didn't exercise yesterday or today - yesterday due to busyness of having company; today because of sinus pain and being too freaked out to focus on it.  It helps relieve stress and anxiety, as well as deal with my food problem.

 

I am feeling calmer but very sad.  It seems my DH can't remember that I have this Paxil thing and have to avoid conflict and stuff like this.  It's like force-feeding sugar to a diabetic when you know they can't handle it and it can hurt them!

 

Well, venting to all of you guys  because I have no one else to do so.  And you understand - mostly - except the eating disorder thing.  I imagine there are a few of you on here too with the same problem.

 

Bleck... I feel so sick - inside and out.  Supposed to taper in a few days.  Maybe not....  It's amazing how things can change from one day to the next.

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Note:  I am adept at opening locks without keys.  So don't worry about the garage bit.  And it's pretty warm here right now.  Not the usual -30 deg.

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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oh alaskamom - I am half laughing at it all - locked in the garage, kicking the door, bingeing and feeling sick.   lolol - I do all that and I don't have an eating disorder lololol (well I do, I just LOVE eating).    And I can pick normal locks too!    Hopefully when everything calms down you will see the funny side too.    Hugs.

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I remember in my teens kicking a big hole in my sister's door and getting into trouble!  Many years ago I had a compulsive eating disorder for a while, never purged, just ate uncontrollably.  Never had an exercise obsession, though, actually exercising at all is more of a problem for me!  I also have little tolerance for bickering or anything like that these days and tend to just blow up at my family, although not as severely as that, and I've never been locked in the garage, that would make me really mad!  I hope you feel better soon, and can put this behind you.  Don't worry about tapering until you are feeling better, you'll know when you feel ready. (((HUGS))) for you.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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alaskamom, your home sounds like mine,lol. Im relieved toknow we arent the only family who yells at each other,omg. i would  have set fire to the garage in a rage if id been locked out...ooooohhhh Id be livid. Dont worry about the blowout, they happen. For me its more likely in the two weeks before my period. Its just awful and leave you with a blow-out hangover for days. Id post pone the drop, no harm in that. Hang in there fellow mama!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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I was pretty shocked at how quickly I went from zero to total freak out.  I spent the next couple days in kind of a glazed-over shock, afraid to talk to anyone as I was so angry/emotional with them and I wanted to avoid any further blow-ups.

 

Yes, we are yellers.  I think anyone who says they never yell are lying :)  We are like a loud Italian family at times.

 

Recovering pretty well...  Although this week sucked, got a sinus infection and got phished for my social security number -which I stupidly gave out.  I was in a hurry online and entered it like an idiot.  Oh well, I guess I am a dotty old lady now who doesn't know better!

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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So, a sinus infection is REALLY interesting with withdrawal/tapering...  Dizziness, nausea, foggy head, lethargy, confusion, headache.  Got an antibiotic from the ER earlier this week.  After reading a bit on here at how that has caused anxiety and other problems, I am now worried and watching for it, but I had no choice.  I had a headache for two weeks.  My DH installed a pellet stove that leaked for about a week or so while it was burning birch wood pellets.  I had forgotten I was allergic to birch big time.  It made my head swell and sinuses fill up.  Then it resulted in an infection when the birch smoke just stayed in my head.

 

Adding to that was the fact my social security number was compromised as I fell for a phishing scam from what I thought was my credit card bank.  That really got the adrenaline flowing.  We've worked very hard to finally have good credit and pay our bills, and boom, I blew it.  I was rushing to buy airline tickets.  Went online to check my credit card balance before I booked them and my password didn't work.  So I kept trying and trying.  Finally hit the buttom to reset it and it had me fill in a bunch of info including my credit card number and social security number.  It didn't work, the 800# I called, was phony, and I finally called my bank to find out it was fraud.

 

I spent hours on the phone, but did burn off my adrenaline rush with an ambitious hour of Zumba.  After that initial freak out, I was fine with it.  Filed a police report, credit alert and moved on.

 

And dropped to my latest dose in the middle of all that.  Sleeping isn't going well,  It never really does.  Sleep in fits and starts.  Nasal steroid I have for the sinus infection gives me night sweats, so that doesn't help....

 

:blink:

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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omg Alaska mom, what a circus, hang in there!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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  • Moderator

I really hope this year settles down for everyone, there has been just too much excitement the last few weeks.  Hope the infection clears up soon.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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