alaskamom Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 Ever, it was magnesium oxide. One tab was 400 mg. Two tablets made me drowsy during the day and slept well at night except for being a witch the next day! 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 Trying to do something I used to love... Baked some cheesecakes for Valentine's Day yesterday. I even had my 11 year old help me so she could learn how! That seems like a small task, but in the last couple years, I haven't felt up to baking especially with my kids who are loud and noisy and make my flabbergasted brain misfire even more! I used to be an AWESOME baker and passable cook, but in withdrawal, it feels like an insurmountable task! Even regular, simple dinners are overwhelming and often turn out yucky. My poor family! Going to make lasagnas and garlic bread today for them - diet be dam_ed! Does anyone else ever wonder what they are supposed to feed their family? There are so many diets and recommendations out there - gluten-free, sugar-free, low-carb, "heart healthy"... I am overwhelmed by trying to feed them well. Add in my eating disorder and I pretty much gave up! (If I bake, I eat IT ALL.) Sadly, I used to cook and bake with my daughters all the time and they were awesome bakers too, but they have forgotten that we used to, and forgotten how! I must try to rally and do projects like this more often so they will be able to cook/bake for themselves and their families. I also used to love to sew, knit, crochet, etc. The girls knew how too and were quite good at it, but it too has slipped away... Feeling mostly better - still intermittent bouts of sinus pain/withdrawal crud, but I think my last dose finally stabilized after I added another two weeks onto that dose. Going to the Rockin' Bowl at the bowling alley tonight with the family and out for gelato this afternoon for Valentine's Day 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 Trying to do something I used to love... Baked some cheesecakes for Valentine's Day yesterday. I even had my 11 year old help me so she could learn how! That seems like a small task, but in the last couple years, I haven't felt up to baking especially with my kids who are loud and noisy and make my flabbergasted brain misfire even more! I used to be an AWESOME baker and passable cook, but in withdrawal, it feels like an insurmountable task! Even regular, simple dinners are overwhelming and often turn out yucky. My poor family! Going to make lasagnas and garlic bread today for them - diet be dam_ed! Does anyone else ever wonder what they are supposed to feed their family? There are so many diets and recommendations out there - gluten-free, sugar-free, low-carb, "heart healthy"... I am overwhelmed by trying to feed them well. Add in my eating disorder and I pretty much gave up! (If I bake, I eat IT ALL.) Sadly, my I used to cook and bake with my daughters all the time and they were awesome bakers too, but they have forgotten that we used to, and forgotten how! I must try to rally and do projects like this more often so they will be able to cook/bake for themselves and their families. I also used to love to sew, knit, crochet, etc. The girls are knew how to and were quite good at it, but it too has slipped away... Feeling mostly better - still intermittent bouts of sinus pain/withdrawal crud, but I think my last dose finally stabilized after I added another two weeks onto that dose. Going to the Rockin' Bowl at the bowling alley tonight with the family and out for gelato this afternoon for Valentine's Day 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted February 15, 2015 Author Share Posted February 15, 2015 Relationship trouble around here. The anhedonia is taking its toll on my marriage, along with the moodiness. I am so sad and depressed today as my DH just can't remember that my brain and emotions are a mess, and is about done with me. I just don't know how I can handle this kind of conflict in my current withdrawal state. Want to get the taper over with, but I am looking at another year (at least) of 10% drops. I am not sure we are going to make it that long and we have been married since 1991. Just trying to push on, acting normal and not exactly sure what the future is bringing. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 15, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 15, 2015 Hi AM, I am sorry that you are having problems at home. It's sad when people say that their partners don't understand because it feels so lonely when you are going through this and not feeling supported. Has your husband looked at the site? Maybe if he did some reading he might think differently. You are getting better, you went to the bowl and baked yesterday and I call those major achievements! You are getting there and will find your creative streak again, and he will be proud of you for getting there. I haven't read all your thread so don't know if it has been suggested yet but I would get him a copy of Anatomy of an epidemic by Robert Whitaker, an excellent book that shows the downside of the drugs that we have all been fed by our doctors. I would consider holding for a couple of months now to give your nervous system a break from tapering and allow yourself to stabilise properly. You are doing great but it can catch up with you after a while. Keep baking and save some for me **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
aberdeen Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 awww alaska...I could have written that myself. Its sooo hard...to be the mom and wife we want to be. how long can we coast on automatic pilot, pretending we have feelings, pretending we want to bake, or crochet, or play with our kids, or listen to our husbands or make small talk...its so essential for a healthy marriage, and when we cant connect to our emotions and desires and passions, it erodes our relationships, its SO much more than just not enjoying crafts anymore...it affects EVERYTHING, from libido to conversation to affection, to stimulating and nurturing our children...the list is endless.. Its so hard. My husband is beyond sick of my moods and irritability too. I nag and dump on him so much. I try not to..but I resent trying not to when i spend every day of my life just "trying to" with everything else too, because nothing comes naturally anymore. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. This has been going on for a few years now and yet somehow God kept this marriage going because it sure wasnt my doing.... Hang on...its going to work out for us. have faith. 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
alaskamom Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 Thank you for your prayers! They work. Things have calmed down and my DH is no longer at the end of his rope. I just have to keep reminding him of where I am at in this taper, while remembering to actively pay attention to him and touch him as it doesn't even occur to me when I am feeling bad or having anhedonia.... Just finished the last two weeks of my taper extension and feel stabilized. Today I will drop again to the lowest dose ever since beginning Paxil 16 years ago. I also realized I wasn't measuring very well (probably due to my brain fog and sinus issues), so I measured twice. Enjoying lots of light here (finally). It improves my mood along with just about everyone else's here in Alaska. Trying to take care of some houseplants too. I usually kill them, but it is a nice diversion. Like Roy, our new dog. BTW he is such a great companion. I swear dogs can read your mind. He is so joyful and happy to see everyone all the time. Wish I could be like that! 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted February 22, 2015 Moderator Share Posted February 22, 2015 Dog energy is one of the true healing powers of the universe. The butterfly habitat sounds like a lot of fun, hope it goes well. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Wow, last night was one of the worst nights I've had in a long time. I think I got spoiled by a relative absence of sleeping poorly/morning anxiety/freakouts! I woke my husband up screaming several times, along with having terrible nightmares that I couldn't remember. Tossed and turned, slept lightly, and wide awake at 4 am with racing heart, worrying about EVERYTHING including falling back asleep and waking up anxious and generally scared. When the alarm went off, I shot out of bed and got all my morning chores done in like 25 minutes. (Normally an hour) I also forgot having that super-energy from the adrenaline rush that goes with the morning freak outs. I also got back into coffee big time in the last few weeks since the morning stuff backed off. I don't think I will need much of that today. It's been 10 days since my last drop so it is the appropriate time for WD to show up. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Brain is also tied in knots today. Tried to teach my kids Algebra and Geometry (high school level) and had nothing to offer when they had questions. Add to this intense squeezing head pressure, sinus pain, brain fog and saying the wrong words to name a particular item - it has been a rough day. I am also exhausted from sleeping so poorly and waking up with anxiety. Dreading going to sleep as I will have to wake up again and who knows how that will go. Drank some coffee to try and clear my mind and it just totally jacked me up 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted March 3, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 3, 2015 Just caught up on your thread, Alaska mom. So many parallels with my experiences. I haven't dared touch coffee since my last crash. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 Plugging along here... Lots of headaches, dizziness, nausea, carsickness, sensitivity to light, easily agitated. Morning anxiety isn't at its worse; just here and there. It helps that my DH and I are waking up at the same time - a little later than when he used to get up. I used to wake up and freak out for the 45 minutes before my alarm would go off. Having lots of squeezing type pressure between my shoulder blades when I am agitated and carsick. Not a ton of energy which is good that I am not super hyper but almost not enough to get through the day. Lots of brain fog and using the wrong words to name things again. Not recognizing ways to get places or where I am sometimes in town! 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
aberdeen Posted March 15, 2015 Share Posted March 15, 2015 Heythere! Hows the weather for you? any hope of spring? I see your dose and its a rough place for lots of people, so dont worry. It gets better. I went through the 4's last year. Im finding it easier now. 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 Hi Aberdeen! We thought Spring was mostly here with melting and weather in the 30's, but then we had a cold snap and were back to -20 to -35 last week! It's supposed to warm up to 30 today, so we are all pretty excited. So far, the 4's suck Thinking of the minute decreases and how long it will take is bumming me out... 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 Woke up this morning at 4 am with the dreads/anxiety freakouts. This time it was about my eldest daughter who is leaving on a two-week trip to Washington DC/NYC on a Close Up Civics trip! Too far away, lots of expenses, etc. Since we moved in December, we've had a new financial situation to deal with (less cost of living and housing allowances, and the government messing up the paycheck and making random $700 deductions with no notice, etc.). Long story short, lots of stress, less money (at the moment). My DH also lost his stepdad (he went from feeling bad to cancer to passing away in a month), so we had unexpected travel and expenses for that. My DH also travels a lot for work which we have to supplement and get reimbursed for a lot and it has really tapped our reserves. Also, I have apparently LOST MY MIND even further. We have gotten two disconnect notices from utilities. It's not that I didn't want to pay them, I couldn't get my mind organized enough to do it! Also, two utilities have similar names -- Golden Heart Utility and Golden Valley Utility (stupid huh?). I was paying one - thinking I was paying both and managed to about get our water almost shut off too! My mind is so scattered I have actually been avoiding finances as I just can't gather my thoughts properly to do it. I hope this passes fast. I tried to get my DH to take over the money and bills, but he is too busy and doesn't want to take it on. I actually have been getting lost a lot too! Granted, we moved to a new city in December, but I keep kind of blanking out and then forgetting where I am, making random turns, and not finding my way home at night. Anyone else have this? Fortunately, I have a cell phone and Siri to help, but I am afraid I have Alzheimers. Between the money and the getting lost, I am afraid to be in charge of money or driving the car! Lots of anhedonia - keep forgetting to pay attention to the husband. Also, his very presence seems to freak me out a little. He's not mean or anything, but just makes me a little anxious - whether it be to talk to me or want anything from me. I am a mess. Couple tablets left at this dose and we taper again. Maybe you will read about me in the news as having wandered off into the woods or something Oh, did I mention I don't like my daughter being a continent away?! 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
clarabella79 Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Hi alaskamom, I'm not a very frequent visitor on here, due to work and one thing and another, but I just want to say how inspiring I've found your posts I've recently moved house within the same town during withdrawal (I'm currently @ 10mg of Paroxetine) and found it incredibly stressful, so I can only begin to imagine how much more stressful it must've been for you moving to a different area, whilst at a lower dose (with all the anxiety, sleep deprivation, etc, that goes along with it) and with familial responsibilities to take care of. I look forward to reading more of your posts and following your journey as you recover from the after effects of taking this most life-changing of drugs. Clare.x 1st Sep '14 - reduced to 18mg from 20mg; 15th Sep - 17mg; 29th Sep -16mg; 21st Oct - 15mg; 10th Nov - 13.5mg; 1st Dec - 13mg; 11th Dec - 12.5mg; 5th Jan '15 - 12mg; 20th Jan - 11.5mg; 11th Feb - 11mg; 26th Feb - 10.5mg; 5th Mar - 10mg; 1st Apr - 9mg; 29th Apr - 8.5mg; 29th May - 8mg; 18th Jun - 7.7mg; 9th July - 7.4mg; 11th Aug - 6.8mg; 2nd Sep - 6.5mg; 12th Sep - 6.3mg; 26th Sep - 6mg; 10th Oct - 5.7mg; 30th Oct - 5.3mg; 28th Nov - 4.8mg; 20th Dec - 4.4mg. Medication History: January 1997: 20mg Paroxetine (Seroxat) daily for depression with anxiety. CT withdrawal attempted 1997 and 1999. Dividing pills withdrawal attempted 2002. Liquid/pill 13 month tapered withdrawal 2007/8. Started to become very ill days after CTing at 2mg. Prescribed other antidepressants (Citalopram, Mirtazipine) but neither were as effective and had more side effects, so Paroxetine 20mg reinstated June 2008. Link to comment
Prestorb Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 Hi Alaskamom, sounds like you are going through a lot of adjustments right now with your move and all the stress that goes along with it. It doesn't seem to me like this is a good time to make another cut. I am amazed that you are handling everything as well as you are, maybe you should take a break and just hold for a bit longer? I am wondering too if the antihistamines are causing problems for you? From what I have seen on this site, they seem to be problematic for a lot of people. I am also tapering Paxil, but at 10 mg and holding. I am combatting depression and lethargy at the moment, maybe Vitamin B would help me. I stopped taking all my supplements a while back so that I could add them back one at a time as I felt that my system needed them and could handle them. Before reading on this site, I didn't realize how problematic different ones could be depending on where one is with WD, tapering, etc.. Thank you for posting, and best wishes to you and your family in your new home! Take care and don't push yourself too hard with your tapering. Cheers ☺️ 2005-2009, Lexapro 10 - 20 mg, CT WD w/severe depression and anxiety: 2010-2015, Paxil, 30 - 40 mg, tapered off at 10 mg/week, moderate anxiety and depression: 2010-2015, Clonozapam 0.25 mg, as needed for anxiety and sleep: 1/10/2015, Zoloft 25 mg, tried to increase to 50 and 75, but nausea and dizziness: 2/13/2015, Paxil 5 mg, added back after 2 weeks at zero to reduce WD: 2/28/2015, Paxil 10 mg, increased from 5 mg to reduce WD, HOLDING: 3/04/2015, Zoloft discontinued (reduced to ~12.5 mg on 2/19, ~6.25 mg on 2/26, then zero): 4/26/2015, Paxil starting 10% taper (no scale so was inadvertently at 20% taper, yikes!): 4/30/2015, Paxil 10 mg, reinstated (WD disappeared between August 2015 and May 2016) 5/02/2016, Started 10% taper, reinstated to 10 mg on 5/11/16: 4/29/2017, Last dose of Paxil (working with holistic psychiatrist, lots of supplements to aid WD): Primary symptoms: apathy, demotivation, anhedonia, fatigue, stress intolerance, moderate social anxiety 7/1/2018 Finally feeling like myself again, success!!! Praise God! Even with the stress of relocating recently, I am feeling pretty good most of the time now. Granted, I eat healthy, I exercise, I don't drink caffeine or alcohol and I try hard find a healthy balance of quiet and social times. Hang in there and keep the faith, you can do it too! Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted March 16, 2015 Moderator Share Posted March 16, 2015 Hi AM-- not Alzheimars just a nice case of CRS (Can't Remember S***) everyone I know gets it, plus the drugs don't help. Just laugh it off and roll with it as best as you can. Monica has found that on line bill pay is a godsend. Once you get a schedule set up you go online once a month to approve amounts and the internet takes care of the rest, no more missed payments. Maybe one of the girls needs some "home schooling" in accounting. Hope you're feeling better. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted March 17, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 17, 2015 I was paying one - thinking I was paying both and managed to about get our water almost shut off too! I have a vague recollection of my hubby doing something similar years ago, and he's never been on meds, he's just a bit hopeless about money. He'd been paying one company thinking it was covering another bill, which of course it wasn't. If you are finding it very difficult at this dose, perhaps think about postponing your next drop for a while and allowing more time to stabilise. You don't have to taper to a strict time schedule. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Thanks everyone. My day just got worse yesterday. I ran into the garage door backing out for the second time in a month! This time at least the door didn't open the entire way so I didn't just rush and hit it. I got it to shut but it is a big deal here as things can freeze if you can't get the door shut. So parking outside. Woke up with an anxiety and crying attack this morning. Little things that are made huge at this time of day. Also kind of lost it and yelled at the ski hill guy yesterday for messing up my girls snowboard camp. All red flags. Called my DH who is traveling and he isn't quite sure what to do with me. Praying. Will work on just getting myself stabilized. Eldest leaves today on her big trip and DH arrives home late tonight. Maybe that will help. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted March 17, 2015 Moderator Share Posted March 17, 2015 Hi AM-- sorry to hear that you're having such a bad day. One good thing is that you're recognizing the red flags that's a big step in the right direction. Now work on recognizing the situations forming before the red flag goes up and then disarming yourself before the explosion. The instant you see one of them (the situation) forming treat it like you have caught on fire "Stop, Drop and Roll"; Stop what you're doing. Drop the subject and Roll on out of there. It may be very abrupt at first, but with a bit or practice it can be handled in a fairly discreet manner. Hope DED has a safe and enjoyable trip and DH gets home safely. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 17, 2015 Author Share Posted March 17, 2015 Thanks for your hug BM. I am just not Doing well. The much dreaded anxiety is upon me. Usually it dispels by mid morning and isn't this dramatic. I took some of my antihistamine which knocks it back a bit but it keeps surging back. Little things are triggering it like a sad image on Facebook or reading other's stories on here, negative thoughts, stressors of any sort. Last time it was like this was a bit over two years ago and I ended up in the ER. Actually feeing panicky about sleeping tonight too. Not able to take as much antihistamine as I need as I have to drive my girls and be alert to be mom today. Driving daughter to airport soon. Dreading DH's midnight airport pick up as it will destroy my night even further. At this point, any task or decision is getting an adrenaline surge. Pray for me. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 18, 2015 Administrator Share Posted March 18, 2015 Alaskamom, you went from 5mg to 4.5mg recently, is that correct? You may wish to go back to 5mg and stay there for a nice, long hold until everything settles down. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Yes Alto, back on 2-22-15. I only have a few tabs left at 4.5. Alto, I might just do that since I've had a lot more problems this last drop than in the many before. I will try to cut a .5 to add to tonight's dose and recut from tomorrow for another period. Should I start with 2 more weeks or a month and see? I seem to be settling down a little bit this afternoon. The whole episode scared me and reminded me how close to the edge I am all the time. I wonder if my Paxil was getting old. I took a lot of previously cut pieces and measured them into the bottle for this last month's dosing. They were a different size and shape too and maybe as old as two years old. Does that matter? Feeling a little paranoid about that now actually. Afraid to go to sleep tonight too for fear of waking up freaked out again. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Discovered I have been weighing my doses wrong as I was trying to calculate how to up-dose. My weight chart was based on a 20 mg. pill and I've been cutting 30's. So, I am actually on 3.3 mg. instead of the 4.5 I thought. Hope I can do this correctly. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Alto, I updosed to 3.7 last night but still had the morning anxiety attack. Not as severe as yesterday but pretty bad. So you suppose the updose was enough? Note above that I messed up weights... 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Hi I need help. In the middle of anxiety attack and trying to updose. I realized I have misweighed my dose since last July or so. Back then a doctor gave me 30 mg tabs to cut up as it was easier to split than a 20. I didn't adjust the weight on Songbird's taper spreadsheet to the 30 mg. I thought I was on 4.5 mg with a weight of .056 for 30 mg tablet. I have been using a 30 mg tablet since then doing my taper 10% at a time. So trying to figure out what dose I was on I looked at the weight of .056 on the correct 30 mg chart and found 3.3 mg. to updose I would go up to 3.7 with the correct weight from the 30 mg chart, correct? Also is this enough to stabilize as the anxiety is out of control. Thank you for any help. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 18, 2015 Administrator Share Posted March 18, 2015 Alaskamom, I'm confused about where you are in your dosing. Are you saying that since you have gotten 30mg tablets, your calculations have been wrong? How long has that been? If updosing a little helped, that's the right direction. I cannot say how much of an updose you need. Your estimate is as good as mine. It takes 4 days for your system to register a dosage change completely. If you've only updosed one day, you are not getting the full effect yet. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Yes I have been weighing wrong based on 20 mg weight since last summer. I guess it doesn't matter As I have been cutting at 10% of that weight every time. My correct dose was 3.3 not 4.5 like I thought. I guess I wanted confirmation that I had calculated correctly. I will continue the updose to 3.7 or 10% since I had a tiny improvement and see. I will also use the correct weight chart. I was wondering if I should go up by more than 10%. Sounds like it is a guessing game. I am trying to get this fixed and welcome any help. It didn't help to find it I messed up my dose in the middle of this. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted March 18, 2015 Moderator Share Posted March 18, 2015 Hi AM-- Take a couple of deep breaths. it is all going to be okay. If you changed pill sizes back in July then the accidental dose switch has had plenty of time to work it's way out. Yes, if you want to updose to 3.7mg then you would use the 30mg pill weight on the spread sheet. No one can tell if it will be enough to stabilize or not, only thing you can do is try. Don't jump to conclusions if it doesn't help by tomorrow. It takes a minimum of four days for any updose to start to take effect and could take several weeks for things to calm down. I know you're going nutz with this but you have to have patience. Remember what we have talked about with adding secondary fear to the situation, panic is not going to help anything. Also you are right in the middle of one of the toughest dose ranges to be in, any little movement down or up can cause big reactions. Even if you don't change doses the symptoms can be very unpredictable and harsh. They are, however, only manifestations of the drug and are not going to hurt you, just scare the c*** out of you if you let them. I had a really rough time getting through that range, but once I did things really settled down. (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
alaskamom Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Not doing well. Weepy, can't eat, scared to drive, can't homeschool the kids, afraid to go to sleep tonight because of waking with anxiety. Nervous bowel and bladder. Can't focus and random things get the adrenaline surging. 1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted March 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 19, 2015 You could try some relaxation exercises - they're good for calming the nervous system. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
aberdeen Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Alaska Mom Im so sorry!!! I hate the feelings you are having, but it WILL settle. Especially if its because of a dose mess up. Just remember that your dose screw up is still less challenging on your system than back when you originally tried quitting, switching meds ect. Those were much bigger changes ect. You stabilized then and you will again. Prayers for you! 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
Sertramean Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Just read your thread Alaskamom, i hope things turned out ok for you? Seroxat 30mg (January 1998 > till started taper April 2013 > off completely July 2013) this was about my fourth attempt. Prozac 40mg ( July 2013 - Feb 2014) Sertraline 75mg (Feb 2014- started taper Feb 2015 - off May 2015) Mirtazapine - 7.5mg for 2 weeks - 3.75mg one week - 2mg one week (December'15 - Jan 16) Link to comment
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