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Language problems, trouble finding words, forgetting words


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Does anyone have problems with language and/or speech? I sometimes make mistakes in my writings and I'm always forced to check back over what I've written to make sure there are no mess-ups. I don't mean typos either.. I mean my brain doesn't put the word I tended to write. For example instead of "depressed" I'll often write "depression".. or instead of "anyone" I'll write "anything".. or instead of "someone" I'll put "something".. "mine" instead of "mind".. "find" instead of "found".. you get the point..and I usually never notice it as I'm doing this. I'm just wondering if anyone has "brain failures" like this? It doesn't have to be just language. I don't want to bring up the topic of brain damage either but this never happened before w/d. It's like w/d messed up something in the language center of my brain. I also do this when talking to people but not as often. I wish I had some answers.. this is something that bugs me everyday. Thank you for any responses.

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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Yes, I get this happening to me now, I have to carefully read back through what I've written and I'm often surprised by the mistakes I've made, it never used to be like this.  I also can't find the words I need when I'm talking.  I know I know the word, just can't seem to remember it, drives me crazy.  When I'm talking to someone, I have to use a bunch of words to describe something, when I know there is one word which would do, if only I could recall what it was. I used to be more.......succinct, yes that's the word I was looking for.   Sometimes it feels like I've lost half of my IQ.  I have better days and worse days though, so I'm hoping this will improve along with my other symptoms.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Yes, yes and yes. This is still happening to me and at one time even included difficulty just using the muscles of my face to form words (luckily that only lasted a short time).

 

It gets better, it gets worse, it gets better again. I just chalk a lot of stuff like this up to wd syndrome and try not to focus on it. Our brains need to be exercised during the whole of wd and for a long time afterwards. I use a site called puzzlebaron.com. Acrostic and cryptogram puzzles are excellent for exercise and I use a lot of cheats to finish puzzles. It is the doing of it that counts whether you cheat or not.

 

Crosswords are good too to help with memory recall.

 

If I had to hazard a guess as to why I would blame perturbation of neurotransmitters getting in the way of recalling things from memory. It works (or else we'd be like constant newborns) but just not that well sometimes.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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Thanks CW, I just checked out puzzlebaron.com, but I'm in an awful wave again and nothing was making much sense, I'll try again in a few days.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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  When I'm talking to someone, I have to use a bunch of words to describe something, when I know there is one word which would do, if only I could recall what it was.

 

I had this badly for a long time and still get it to some extent.  I believe it's called a "circumlocution". Took me ages to find the word for not being able to find the right word, go figure!

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Also, does anyone find that when they write what comes out is what they are thinking at the time of writing?  So say I am thinking about the word brand, but I want to write baked, instead of baked coming out the word brand does?

 

This happens to  me all the time and it's so frustrating.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Oh and there's a site called Free Rice that might help people improve their vocabularies, they give you a word and a list of definitions and you pick whichever answer you feel is right.  It's an interesting site, if you get answers right they donate rice on your behalf to hungry people. 

 

http://freerice.com/#/english-vocabulary/2212

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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I mean my brain doesn't put the word I tended to write. For example instead of "depressed" I'll often write "depression".. or instead of "anyone" I'll write "anything".. or instead of "someone" I'll put "something".. "mine" instead of "mind".. "find" instead of "found".. you get the point..and I usually never notice it as I'm doing this.

 

This happens to me a lot and I find it quite annoying as I didn't used to make as many mistakes.  It's not brain damage, just the brain not working quite right.

 

I also can't find the words I need when I'm talking.  I know I know the word, just can't seem to remember it, drives me crazy.  When I'm talking to someone, I have to use a bunch of words to describe something, when I know there is one word which would do, if only I could recall what it was.

 

This happens to me a lot too.  I feel like I used to have a better vocabulary - I guess it is still there but just not accessible quickly.  I feel quite dumb sometimes when I'm trying to talk to someone and find it hard to say what I want because the right words aren't there when I need them.  In general my memory is not as good and I don't think it is due to getting older, just the brain not working as well as it should. 

 

These problems are frustrating at times but for me they are not severe enough to have a huge impact on my life.  I'm hoping they will improve eventually.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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oh yes! I can't speak! I don't find the right words and I feel like my vocabulary has shrunk.... a lot (I was trying to find a better, more descriptive word here, but I guess "a lot" will have to do :)). It's very, very disturbing!!

in 2002- 0,5 tablet cipramil for half a year, ended it uneventfully. in 2006 - citalopram for half a year, ended in horrific state, ditched the drugs CT. 2007-2008 not feeling well but drug free. in 2008 prozac 20mg + quetiapine 25mg. 2009 tried to stop, ended up in hole after couple of months, started zoloft. 2009-2011 zoloft 50mg. went to 25mg in 2011 summer, it resulted in half a year horrible suffering. reinstated, changed drugs, nothing happened. by 2012 beginning suddenly felt great and CT meds. after 4 months came suddenly most horrible human suffering that's possible. was started on prozac and questiapine. started tapering slowly, GFCF diet and Hardy Nutritionals vitamins in 2013 summer. 

current medications: 1) fluoxetine and quetiapine since Aug 2012; 2) Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals 7 capsules / since May 2013 + omega3; 3) Gluten-free-casein-free diet since june 2013

 

Started withdrawing slowly since april 2013. Mostly around 10% cuts. 

April'13 - March'14: fluoxetine 40mg -> 19,5mg; quetiapine 50mg -> 40mg
April'14-March'15: fluoxetine 19,5mg -> 14,4mg; quetiapine 40mg -> 22mg

April'15-March'16: fluoxetine 14,4mg -> 7,4mg; quetiapine 22mg -> 15mg

April'16-March'17: fluoxetine 7,4mg -> 5,0mg; quetiapine 15mg -> 7,25mg

April'17-March'18: fluoxetine 5,0mg -> 4,0mg; quetiapine 7,25mg -> 0 (as of 1st Feb 2018)!!!!

April´18-March´19: fluoxetine 4,0mg - > 2,3mg. Jumped off fluoxetine 1,4mg due to pregnancy in July 2019. Oct 2019 severe withdrawal syndrome started.

Took mistakenly a complex for hormonal support that included pregnenolone dec2019-april2020. Stopped it april 2020 and immediately severe akathisia started. Have had life threatening akathisia since, 100% disabled, suicidal, very hard to hold on. 

 

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  When I'm talking to someone, I have to use a bunch of words to describe something, when I know there is one word which would do, if only I could recall what it was.

 

I had this badly for a long time and still get it to some extent.  I believe it's called a "circumlocution". Took me ages to find the word for not being able to find the right word, go figure!

 

 

Tee hee.......

 

When I looked up the def for circumlocution, here was an example that was given to describe it:

 

 

"when you've finished your circumlocution, maybe you could just get to the point"

 

well, yeah. The point is.... Wait, what was the point? I forgot!

 

The reason I know exercising your brain with word puzzles and such works is that I had some strange experiences happen with computers while I was in the thick of wd and it happened several times. I have worked on people's computers for several years now and am very good at it. I had long time customers call me and ask me to fix their recalcitrant machines. I dreaded every call and wanted to refuse because when I sat there and just thought about the steps I had to do to start fixing I couldn't recall any of them. The worst was an operating system reinstall because of the configuration steps I always do afterwards, something I never wrote down. But I did it any way and found out a weird thing: I'd get started somehow and then all of my knowledge would come cascading back and I could get the job done. It needed an outlet to perform. There were times when I seriously thought I had lost all of my intelligence. Not true.

 

So Petu, the acrostics and cryptograms on pb are hard if you never learned them outside of wd. (I just visited pb to get the links and I see they have added a bunch of new puzzles, something for everyone! Here is the main link.) I used to be good at them but when I tried them this past year, just figuring out how to start them was a challenge. Each different type of puzzle has its own section on the site. The site I used for crosswords was boatloadcrosswords.com because they are so easy and I needed easy and it has keyboard navigation which helps.

 

I've gotten lazy and more often just do the jigsaw puzzles on pb (um, while I am waiting for someone to post something for me to read on this site....  :)   )

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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Oh yeah, also the keyboard is not to friendly to me anymore..

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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Does anyone have problems with language and/or speech? I sometimes make mistakes in my writings and I'm always forced to check back over what I've written to make sure there are no mess-ups. I don't mean typos either.. I mean my brain doesn't put the word I tended to write. For example instead of "depressed" I'll often write "depression".. or instead of "anyone" I'll write "anything".. or instead of "someone" I'll put "something".. "mine" instead of "mind".. "find" instead of "found".. you get the point..and I usually never notice it as I'm doing this. I'm just wondering if anyone has "brain failures" like this? It doesn't have to be just language. I don't want to bring up the topic of brain damage either but this never happened before w/d. It's like w/d messed up something in the language center of my brain. I also do this when talking to people but not as often. I wish I had some answers.. this is something that bugs me everyday. Thank you for any responses.

 

This is pretty common and should improve with time. I had paraphasia and I would say things like "I'm going to take out the theater" when I meant to say.... take out the trash. I also lost a lot of my vocabulary. These were words that I knew when I was 12 years old and for the life of me I didn't know what they meant. I also had expressive and receptive aphasias that were very disturbing. All of the above is either mostly or totally resolved. My writing still isn't as fluid or creative as it once was though. 

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Spelling.  I used to be excellent at spelling.   Now I type some words and then just look at them, thinking that they just look wrong.  Often they are and I have to look them up.   And they are often not particularly difficult words to begin with.   Very frustrating and makes me think my brain is deteriorating.

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Thank you all for the helpful answers.. It's as if w/d has deleted a good chunk of my vocabulary.. and not just super-complex words but even relatively simple words that I've known for sometime. It's sooo frustrating! This and all the mistakes really bother me. I used to have more to say than I could speak.. now It's the opposite. Let's just hope to god for all our sakes that this improves. I've noticed on some days this stuff isn't as bad. Who knows what this all means?

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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Anyone have any positive testimonies with this regard? Has anyone's vocabulary recovered? Does the memory of the words still exist?

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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  When I'm talking to someone, I have to use a bunch of words to describe something, when I know there is one word which would do, if only I could recall what it was.

 

I had this badly for a long time and still get it to some extent.  I believe it's called a "circumlocution". Took me ages to find the word for not being able to find the right word, go figure!

 

 

Tee hee.......

 

When I looked up the def for circumlocution, here was an example that was given to describe it:

 

 

"when you've finished your circumlocution, maybe you could just get to the point"

 

well, yeah. The point is.... Wait, what was the point? I forgot!

 

The reason I know exercising your brain with word puzzles and such works is that I had some strange experiences happen with computers while I was in the thick of wd and it happened several times. I have worked on people's computers for several years now and am very good at it. I had long time customers call me and ask me to fix their recalcitrant machines. I dreaded every call and wanted to refuse because when I sat there and just thought about the steps I had to do to start fixing I couldn't recall any of them. The worst was an operating system reinstall because of the configuration steps I always do afterwards, something I never wrote down. But I did it any way and found out a weird thing: I'd get started somehow and then all of my knowledge would come cascading back and I could get the job done. It needed an outlet to perform. There were times when I seriously thought I had lost all of my intelligence. Not true.

 

So Petu, the acrostics and cryptograms on pb are hard if you never learned them outside of wd. (I just visited pb to get the links and I see they have added a bunch of new puzzles, something for everyone! Here is the main link.) I used to be good at them but when I tried them this past year, just figuring out how to start them was a challenge. Each different type of puzzle has its own section on the site. The site I used for crosswords was boatloadcrosswords.com because they are so easy and I needed easy and it has keyboard navigation which helps.

 

I've gotten lazy and more often just do the jigsaw puzzles on pb (um, while I am waiting for someone to post something for me to read on this site....  :)   )

 

 

lol, "maybe you could just get to the point", thanks for the laugh cw, really needed it today.

 

Also I have the same avoidance issue too re getting things done, I often have trouble thinking about the steps.  At present avoid knitting which I mostly learned in withdrawal (I knew the most basic stitch but that was it), I wasn't that bad at it, could write patterns in withdrawal even though I was utterly uselessly with most other things..Now it's overwhelming thinking about starting a fairly basic project.  But if I pick up old knitting I haven't finished it isn't as bad as I think it will be...It's just trying to pick it up that is hard.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Anyone have any positive testimonies with this regard? Has anyone's vocabulary recovered? Does the memory of the words still exist?

 

My situation is improving in some respects. I believe the memories are still there, it may just be a matter of getting at them. I had a window recently where I managed to write the beginning of a story and all of the plot details, the plot was so complicated I could barely keep up with it but I told it to someone else and they said it made sense and that it was a really good plot (and they aren't easy to impress either.)  I found while writing it though that many words did in fact return to me that I hadn't used in a long time...So take heart, it's still in there.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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I believe the memories are still there, it may just be a matter of getting at them.

 

I agree, I think they are all still in there, but accessing them is slower and more difficult for some reason.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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I believe the memories are still there, it may just be a matter of getting at them.

 

I agree, I think they are all still in there, but accessing them is slower and more difficult for some reason.

 

 

I wonder if it isn't that in withdrawal we can be in such a state of fear that the memories become inaccessible because they aren't directly relevant to what our bodies (wrongly) believe is happening. 

 

If you are in a fight/flight situation, what use are past memories that don't relate to the danger at hand?  It's doubtful if you were, say, being attacked by someone that you would need or even want to recall say the great time you had at the beach ten years ago, or a complicated word not related to what is going on...And as it seems in withdrawal it can be at times like a prolonged fight/flight reaction (especially if you have akathisia for instance) then it sort of makes sense why you can't remember things at certain times.

 

Also I just recalled, I had a doctor do some neuropsych tests on me and was told the memories I couldn't get at were likely still there, based on the test results. 

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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I wonder if it isn't that in withdrawal we can be in such a state of fear that the memories become inaccessible because they aren't directly relevant to what our bodies (wrongly) believe is happening. 

 

I guess that could be true for some people, but it doesn't apply in my case.  I've been tapering very slowly with only mild symptoms and hardly any anxiety recently.  I think it must be that SSRIs affect receptors in the areas of the brain that retrieve information - it isn't only language that my memory has problems with.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Good point songbird.. I think the problem is general information retrieval, language just happens to be a large focus. I have problems with retaining and recalling information in general.. My only theory is that the brain is functioning at a slower rate, maybe to preserve energy since we're constantly in fight or flight. That's probably wrong but it's something to do with fight or flight I'm sure.

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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I have had language issues that I associate with a broader memory problem. I think the memory of the word still exists but the recall of it at a particular time is limited. At another time it will be a different recall issue

 

My memory was particularly bad and more generalised with severe sleep deprivation. Now it's still bad but only shows in particular ways.

 

I am going to try some memory games to see if I can actually improve my memory by working on it. My memory probs are my biggest issue in my new hobby of stand up comedy. They undermine my confidence, so I want to improve my memory if possible

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I have everything described in the threads above and it causes me great emotional distress as I used to be a college English professor.

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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I have everything described in the threads above and it causes me great emotional distress as I used to be a college English professor.

 

Very interesting. Could you maybe go into more detail as to what is bothering you specifically?

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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This also causes some emotional problems for me at times. I feel like my social and intellectual life might just be over for the most part.

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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I have trouble forming words.  When I do, they are monosyllabic.  If I try to verbally express a complex thought, every other word is "mmmm" because my brain and body get stuck.  It is like there is a wall behind which my intelligence is stuck, and I cannot access the intelligence, but I know it is there, so I feel frustrated.

 

My tongue doesn't work.  It is weak and twitchy and does not obey me to form sounds.

 

Plus, I can't successfully use contractions aloud.  When I speak, every syllable comes out very slowly and overpronounced, like a slow version of Data from Star Trek if he said "mmmm" between every word.  All of my consonants come out VERY hard-sounding.  

 

For the whole battery of the rest of my symptoms, check out my signature.  You'll be appropriately appalled. 

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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Wigglelt.. I understand everything you're saying. It's a horrible situation. These docs are complete idiots who did this to us and should have their licenses and degrees revoked!

Paxil from 2005 to July 2013. 30mg. 

Very short taper. 

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Oh yeah, also the keyboard is not to friendly to me anymore..

 

I do not know if it is my keyboard or me but the one word "from" has been coming out as "form" ever since I first posted in this topic. As 'form' is a recognized word in my computer's dictionary, it won't be flagged as 'misspelled' so I have to search for every instance and correct it. It is like my brain has forgotten how to spell it.

 

It is very odd what these drug and the recovery from taking them does to our 'expression' abilities.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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I do not know if it is my keyboard or me but the one word "from" has been coming out as "form" ever since I first posted in this topic.

I do that all the time.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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I don't feel so bad now, Songbird. I sometimes wish windows had autocorrect like phones and tablets but then I have read the 'autocorrect:fail' sites and fear what might happen were I in a hurry....

 

(do you know that my browser is flagging my spelling of "autocorrect"? It wants a hyphen or 2 words. Luddite.)

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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Those sites are great when you need a good laugh.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Just to add my two bob's worth yes, yes, and more yes.  I think people (friends, etc.) think I might have Altzheimer's, but I don't.  This stuff just goes from bad to worse and I want to be a success story. 

 

I'm going to go try put a jig saw puzzle together.  It's a globe of the world (never done a 3D jigsaw before), betcha I mess it up and have Australia in Alaska. :unsure:

Prescribed 30mg Mirtazapine approximately 10 years ago.  PTSD 

 

C/T 50% of dose - dreadful, hellish

Begin to reduce by 10% every 3-6 weeks

now:

5.11.14 4.50mg - going to wait a bit longer

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I'm going to go try put a jig saw puzzle together.  It's a globe of the world (never done a 3D jigsaw before), betcha I mess it up and have Australia in Alaska. :unsure:

 

You better check with the rest of Aussies before you do that, they might not take it kindly being annexed to the US......

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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I am bilingual. I am having trouble in both my languages, but I wonder: do you think it is generally good for my brain recovery that I speak two languages? Do you think it helps it to "exercise" in some way because I use two languages?

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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I am bilingual. I am having trouble in both my languages, but I wonder: do you think it is generally good for my brain recovery that I speak two languages? Do you think it helps it to "exercise" in some way because I use two languages?

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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Read the beginning of this thread about using word games to exercise your brain.....

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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