success ☼ Coldturkmama: Paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal

[Pugknows]

As for food: Eggs, whole grain bread, chicken, spinach, carrots, broccoli and rice, mostly. I'm not real careful with food because this WD has reduced me to a skeleton so I keep shoving calories in me all day.

[coldturkmama]

I just started some a few days ago

[Pugknows]

Magnesium should fix you right up. It did me.

[coldturkmama]

hopefully!!

[coldturkmama]

I crave sugar super bad...is that an SSRI thing or just a me thing?? lol

[Songbird]

I have seen it reported before.  But it could be you, LOL.

[coldturkmama]

I have seen it reported before.  But it could be you, LOL.

 LOL maybe!

[brassmonkey]

Cravings for cookies, cake, and chocolate should ALWAYS be blamed on WD and followed up on so as to not make the WD worse.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. LOL

[coldturkmama]

lol I'd say!!

[Songbird]

Cravings for cookies, cake, and chocolate should ALWAYS be blamed on WD and followed up on so as to not make the WD worse.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. LOL

 

Chocolate is a really great cure for lots of ailments, IMO.

[coldturkmama]

I certainly agree!!

[coldturkmama]

This crap is so freaking annoying!! Had a great day yesterday, felt awesome, got lots done, felt 99% normal.

Today?? Slam! Not so much! Felt anxious, hot/cold, chilled, stomach stuff, some head pressure, tossed in to a wave.

Not sure how long it'll ladt, hopefully not long.

Since the longer ine that started around Christmas eve and lasted almost two months, there have been shorter ones with more good/better days in the mix. God is so good, I rely heavily on him. This too shall pass!

[direstraits]

sorry ctm-Paxil is such an awful drug

 

I'm suffering,too-sending you healing thoughts& hugs

[coldturkmama]

sorry ctm-Paxil is such an awful drug

 

I'm suffering,too-sending you healing thoughts& hugs

 

It really is horrible, I don't understand whyyy Dr's pass it out like candy. 

[Cookson]

how are you feeling now? hope your doing better

[coldturkmama]

I have a cold and horrible back pain....ughhh lol I'm a joy! :-)

[direstraits]

sorry to hear that,ctm-hope you feel better soon xo

[Songbird]

Oh, no, I hate that - I get back pain too, it's not fun.

[coldturkmama]

Thankfully the back pain let up today, thank God!!  It was really bad! 

[luv2knit]

Hi, CTM. Haven't visited your thread in a while. Thought I would stop by and say hello. I have back pain and leg pain off and on too. I'm 9 months out now, and going through another rough patch. In fact, I think this is worse than 6 months. Sounds like you're seeing some pretty significant improvement at this point. Hope that continues to get better and better!

[coldturkmama]

Thanks Luv2Knit, definitely seeing improvements! 

[coldturkmama]

Not having a good couple days, but know that this too shall pass.  Man, it just gets old...! Why is it that when we're in a wave we feel like this is our reality, that this must be us, etc..I have to remind myself that this is NOT me and that this is NOT forever. Ugh ugh ugh!

[coldturkmama]

20 months OFF paxil Cold Turkey!! Thought I'd do an update! I don't come here as often because I find that I think wayyyy too much about how I am feeling etc when I do.  

I am still having some WD issues BUT I am so much better than I was that I can ride out the waves knowing that a better day is coming. Some days are harder than others, but I know that healing is happening and every time I am tossed in to the waves of WD, I can know for sure that in a little while I'll be okay, just have to make it through.

I hope all of you are doing well, finding healing and dealing with this as best you can given the circumstances. 

[Narcissus]

Thanks for checking in, coldturkmama!  Sounds like you're well on your way to becoming a success story.  When you feel fully recovered you might consider writing one for our success story section, we'd all be grateful.  Happy healing!

[coldturkmama]

Haven't been on here in a long time. Hit two years cold turkey October 16th. I'm still going through windows and waves, which really sucks- but at the same time things are better. Waves are hard, uncomfortable, horrible things, but I can survive them. Praying healing takes place fully soon but I know this process is pretty crappy!! Hope everyone is hanging in there.

[luv2knit]

Good to hear from you, CTM. Congrats on 2 years off. That's an awesome accomplishment. Praying that the waves will get lighter and less frequent, and that soon it will all be one big, wide open window!!

[coldturkmama]

How are you doing ?

[luv2knit]

Hanging in there. Now 15.5 months off, and am starting to feel like I may be having some improvement. Not really windows and waves... but what I perceive as some (slight) level of overall improvement. Whatever you want to call it--guess I'll take it!

[coldturkmama]

I'm glad you are hanging in!

Time really is our friend.

I have hit an insomnia wave. Right now it's been two weeks of waking up every night around 4 a.m. for two hrs or I just can't get back to sleep.

I ha e pain waves by times, where my back or hips will KILL me for a few weeks and then go- vanish just as quickly as it came.

I'd rather those types of waves than the anxiety ones that's for sure.

[coldturkmama]

Anxiety sucks. Had a wave of insomnia and no/hardly any anxiety but once sleep got better the anxiety was back. I wonder how long healing will take for me.. it's been 27 months cold turkey though. :/

[coldturkmama]

Well here's an update from me....

I was hoping for more improvements after the 2 year mark but the main one that I've noticed is that my head no longer feels like it is in a major vice grip....thank heavens! 

I still get brain zaps, but thankfully only a few a day, some times none at all for a day or two.  That's kinda nice.

 

My windows are still all messed up, coming in small ones now....hours or a day here and there.  It's annoying because I want big fat long ones.....

A while back I had some that lasted at least a few weeks and then I'd get slammed by a wave....but now it's like the waves arent' AS bad (but they still aren't fun!) but the windows are shorter too.  Anyone have that?'

I really wish I could go back in time and not ever touch paxil....that would be kinda awesome.

[clearday]

Congratulations on making it into your third year of healing!

 

Great to hear that you have made significant improvements.

 

I too have made it into my third year. I too have suffered tremendously, and like you I have soldiered on and have racked up the improvements.

 

I had a three week awesome window last month, thought I had turned a corner -

 

Only to be slammed by a wave for two weeks now - including the dreaded insomnia nights, and exhausted days.

 

This third year, we should start reaping more benefits of all the healing we've earned over the last two years of fighting.

 

It won't come fast enough, but it will come. We've all read the stories of bad waves up until the final phases of recovery.

 

It gets tiring. But if we made it this far, we can keep up the fight for the home stretch.

 

A few times a day I drift back to the years before going on these poisons, wishing there was a time machine, but of course there is none.

 

Yet we're not the only ones wishing for that; plenty of people who were never damaged by ADs really wish they could go back in time and do it all over, for so many different reasons. This just happens to be our reason. At least we have real reason to hope for significant improvement.

 

Thanks for your inspiring update, and your example of strength for the rest of us to keep fighting.

[clearday]

Anxiety sucks. Had a wave of insomnia and no/hardly any anxiety but once sleep got better the anxiety was back. I wonder how long healing will take for me.. it's been 27 months cold turkey though. :/

 

Same here. It is strange, that when dealing with insomnia, the normal worries don't have such weight. 

 

When I get plenty of sleep, I have all this extra energy to think about everything I can worry about.

 

But when overtired, it's survival mode, the only real worry for me then, is "will I sleep good tonight?"

[direstraits]

 

I really wish I could go back in time and not ever touch paxil....that would be kinda awesome.

 

my feelings exactly! hang in there..xo

[clearday]

I have hit an insomnia wave. Right now it's been two weeks of waking up every night around 4 a.m. for two hrs or I just can't get back to sleep.

 

Wow, I had a similar of insomnia wave back in December, after a year of mostly very good, consistent sleep. 

 

By December, not only would I wake up at 4:30 am and toss and turn for an hour or two, it also took me two hours to fall asleep in the first place.

 

And I'm getting hit with it again now in late January.

[coldturkmama]

Well Silver Star I certainly hope you are right and that we are going to turn a corner soon.  It' so awesome to be able to come here and just let it all out once in a while and get some positive feedback and confirmation that someone out there is sort of going through the same thing. I hate that other people are, but it is reassuring that we're not alone.

I hated the insomnia, but like you said it was like everything else let up and my only real concern was "will I sleep?"

It truly was weird!