Horns85: Lexapro withdrawal

[Horns85]

Congratulations on your one-year off Lexapro anniversary today!

 

Perhaps wait until your next window and decide then if you want to reinstate.

 

Reinstating during a difficult wave is usually done out of desperation, and not thinking clearly.

 

Think it through, and decide if you want to spend the next couple years tapering, and wondering what might have been if you didn't reinstate.

 

Yes, it might help your symptoms to reinstate, or it might not. The last three late reinstatements I have read on here ended in suffering, confusion, and regret.

 

It is impossible to say whether reinstating would be a good move for the long-term or not. It could be, or not. But at least think it through first.

 

Reinstating may help for a couple weeks, then might get worse; then what?

 

IF your goal is to be off these meds for life, then how does reinstating fit into that goal?

 

As you said, it is a very difficult decision. Either way, do what you feel you must, in order to survive. I hope things get better for you soon -

Thanks, Clearday!

 

This wave has been tough!!! If I reinstated it would have been out of desperation. Learning acceptance and patience is key in this process.

 

I have decided against reinstatement and will press on! This wave will pass eventually!

 

The worst part about this wave has been the cortisol mornings and then sensitivity to so many foods. It's very depressing!

 

Hope you are doing better!

[Altostrata]

....

Probably not a bad idea on the diet. It almost feels the same as it does after I workout to hard.

 

Alto, I'm male some don't have a ob-gyn. :-)

 

 

Oh! Sorry -- I thought with the baby....

 

You might also want to take betaine HCL with meals for the acid reflux -- which is not an excess of acid but a lack of stomach acid. Your digestion is confused. The betaine HCL might help. (It usually contains pepsin, a digestive enzyme, too.) Plus digestive enzymes.

[Horns85]

 

....Probably not a bad idea on the diet. It almost feels the same as it does after I workout to hard.

 

Alto, I'm male some don't have a ob-gyn. :-)

 

Oh! Sorry -- I thought with the baby....

 

You might also want to take betaine HCL with meals for the acid reflux -- which is not an excess of acid but a lack of stomach acid. Your digestion is confused. The betaine HCL might help. (It usually contains pepsin, a digestive enzyme, too.) Plus digestive enzymes.

No worries! It makes sense why you would think that!

 

I tried betaine hcl early in WD but got burning after one pill. I will try again. Makes sense as to why the OTC Nexium I took for 4 days made my symptoms worse!

[Altostrata]

I find if I take betaine HCL while eating or even afterward, I have fewer problems with it.

[Horns85]

I find if I take betaine HCL while eating or even afterward, I have fewer problems with it.

Perfect, thanks Alto!

[wilderness92]

Horn, how are you now?

[Horns85]

Horn, how are you now?

Hi wilderness,

 

I'm alright. Just hanging in there. How are you doin?

[Horns85]

I have always had the difficult thought of whether or not I was in WD because my symptoms were somewhat similar to some symptoms I had prior to meds, although the symptoms I have had post meds have been much more severe.

 

If I took a small dose of Lexapro and have a bad reaction, that pretty much tells me I'm in WD, right?

[wilderness92]

I am alright, and hope you get better soon. You will soon make it to the healthier side of life.

[tgirl]

Horns,

Did you try to reinstate?

 

Tgirl

[clearday]

If I took a small dose of Lexapro and have a bad reaction, that pretty much tells me I'm in WD, right?

 

I don't agree.

 

That would just mean that you are now sensitized and have become allergic to the drug.

 

Usually the opposite is true: if you are in withdrawal from a drug, the only thing that can make WD symptoms go away is to reinstate on that drug.

 

But often, when people try to reduce WD symptoms by reinstating, they find that they are now sensitized to the drug, and then have a bad reaction. And that happens more often the longer time that you are off the drug. That's why it is usually advised NOT to reinstate after three months since last dose:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

No hard and fast rules, just general guidelines. Steps taken on a case by case basis. Making a personal choice on how to proceed.

 

Your symptoms are all very consistent with Lexapro WD. Reading your first post on this thread - and all your posts since - is a textbook case of acute and then protracted SSRI WD.

 

Personally, I think it is impossible to diagnose what baseline mental status is until at least two years since last dose. Once in obvious protracted SSRI WD, I think it is wise to wait three years before wondering what is WD and what is your normal self again. This is a very long game indeed. Lexapro has damaged our nerves, and nerves take years to heal. I know we call it "withdrawal", but it is equally true to look at this simply as nerve damage, which is taking a long time to heal. The drug caused long term changes in our nerves that are making us suffer. That sounds like damage to me. 

 

That's what makes this protracted WD so confusing, it even confuses the doctors. They are so quick to blame underlying mental conditions on symptoms while in protracted WD. We know, from so many stories, that those who have recovered often continue to suffer at least some WD symptoms well into the third year since last dose, and some into the fourth year. And some even longer. But most saying that those WD symptoms getting slowly better over the course of that time. 

[clearday]

I have always had the difficult thought of whether or not I was in WD because my symptoms were somewhat similar to some symptoms I had prior to meds, although the symptoms I have had post meds have been much more severe.

 

The underlying mental conditions that led us to go on these meds in the first place often emerge more severely in withdrawal, due to withdrawal. They may also slowly creep back in over the course of withdrawal.

 

When we decide to go off the meds, we've decided that we don't like being on them, or we realize how damaging they really are. We decide we want to address our underlying mental condition using other means, rather than being dependent on these medications.

 

To some degree we will all have to deal with this. 

 

It would be nice if we could rely on these medications as being safe and effective over the long term to address our underlying mental condtions. 

 

Many people on here have discovered that isn't possible for them.

 

Many people here wish they could turn the clock back to the day they decided to go on these medications. If they had a do-over, they would not go on them. They would rather deal with their underlying condition someway else. But instead, not only do they have to deal with their underlying conditions returning, they also have to deal with symptoms associated with nerve damage from these medications as they slowly heal during protracted WD.

[LexAnger]

So well said with clear logic!

Hope you are doing well Clear!

[Horns85]

 

I have always had the difficult thought of whether or not I was in WD because my symptoms were somewhat similar to some symptoms I had prior to meds, although the symptoms I have had post meds have been much more severe.

The underlying mental conditions that led us to go on these meds in the first place often emerge more severely in withdrawal, due to withdrawal. They may also slowly creep back in over the course of withdrawal.

 

When we decide to go off the meds, we've decided that we don't like being on them, or we realize how damaging they really are. We decide we want to address our underlying mental condition using other means, rather than being dependent on these medications.

 

To some degree we will all have to deal with this.

 

It would be nice if we could rely on these medications as being safe and effective over the long term to address our underlying mental condtions.

 

Many people on here have discovered that isn't possible for them.

 

Many people here wish they could turn the clock back to the day they decided to go on these medications. If they had a do-over, they would not go on them. They would rather deal with their underlying condition someway else. But instead, not only do they have to deal with their underlying conditions returning, they also have to deal with symptoms associated with nerve damage from these medications as they slowly heal during protracted WD.

Your spot on, Clearday. I was dealing OK until my new little one came and I freaked out because I feel like I have to be 100%, and I'm obviously not.

 

I have to remind myself that though some of my symptoms are similar, the derealization, akathisia are all NEW symptoms and vey much WD induced. Not to mention the anxiety and depression or 10x worse than before meds. I would give anything to go back to those days.

 

I believe that WD tricks you into believing that you have always been this way, or close to it. In reality, for almost all of us, it's so clear that we are in WD, but our brain tries to force us to think otherwise. A real mind game!!

 

Thank you for all you do Clearday. You put everything in perspective.

[clearday]

 I was dealing OK until my new little one came and I freaked out because I feel like I have to be 100%, and I'm obviously not.

 

I have to remind myself that though some of my symptoms are similar, the derealization, akathisia are all NEW symptoms and vey much WD induced. Not to mention the anxiety and depression or 10x worse than before meds. I would give anything to go back to those days.

 

I believe that WD tricks you into believing that you have always been this way, or close to it. In reality, for almost all of us, it's so clear that we are in WD, but our brain tries to force us to think otherwise. A real mind game!!

 

Spot on!

 

Like the saying, "I've been down for so long, I forgot which way is up".

 

It is easy to lose perspective when we are suffering.

 

It takes energy to stay focused. It's great that we have this forum to help us.

 

I had a tough week, but yesterday and today - a window. 

 

With the stress of a new child, you will be challenged, for sure. But you will adapt.

 

Feel better - try to enjoy your new baby - as hard as it is, my child's first years were very precious.

 

And now that you mention it, I spent my child's first three years while I was in difficult protracted withdrawal, at that time it was Prozac. I began my bad withdrawal late in 2003, and my child was born in early 2004. Yet I managed to enjoy it, and functioned. I got through it. I didn't even know it was WD, I thought I had some mystery illness, with no hope of recovery.

[wilderness92]

Horn, Can you please try CBT or other therapy, this can speed up the recovery. As anxiety and depression are liars can make you believe otherwise. Even the best expert on withdrawals Dr. David Healy has acknowledged the efficacy of CBT after quitting the medicines. I am having the therapy myself. It is making difference. I had a full blown panic attack this evening while driving back home. This time around I did not pulled up to Emergency Room rather took a stop at gas station and once the panic subsided, I drove back home. There was still constant fear and I kept holding on to the fear feeling until I just did some breathing exercises and started feeling a little better. I truly wish brother that we all get to the healthier side of life very soon. My ringing in ears is still there but my perception about it is changing somewhat. I hope it remains the same but maybe grounding exercises are helping a bit. You are far braver than me. Since you are holding on. I truly admire you, hence your success for me will have great meaning.

[wilderness92]

http://integratedhealthdenver.com/?gclid=CMmJk5SgtsgCFRYWjgodpZYB3A

[wilderness92]

http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/condition/anxiety

[starburst]

Hi Horns85, I've just read through your thread as I am also withdrawing from lexapro. It is interesting to note that the WD symptoms started nine months after quitting. It is a powerful drug, that is for sure. 

 

Congratulations on your new baby girl. The joy mixed with the lack of sleep must be playing havoc with you. My initial diagnoses of depression came four weeks after the birth of my last child when I was totally sleep deprived and exhausted. Lack of sleep plays a big part in how one feels. 

 

My Son in law suffered with his first bout of anxiety after the birth of his first child. A lot of it was due to lack of sleep which he did not tolerate very well at all. Luckily he had a good doctor who sent him for Cognitive Therapy before medicating him. Along with the sleep deprivation a major player was his fear of parenting due to issues within his own childhood. Thankfully their son started sleeping better at a few months old and I saw a major improvement in his demeanour. 

 

I have personally found that Omega 3 fish oil has benefited me greatly. It is only when I neglect to take it that I realise I feel 'different' and am reminded to take it again. There are quite a few studies that show it benefits those with anxiety and depression. Another interesting fact I discovered was that new mothers are often very low in Omega 3 because the baby takes a lot from her during pregnancy which leaves her depleted after birth. I wish I knew that when I gave birth to my son, a natural supplement like that would probably have taken the edge of my anxiety (although the sleep deprivation was the biggest issue)

 

In regards to food intolerances I have also experienced that whilst withdrawing. For a long time I could not stomach coffee and just the smell of it would make me run to the bathroom. Once when taking my children to the zoo for an outing I walked past the cafe and the smell of coffee sent me running to the nearest bathroom to vomit. I used to adore coffee and drank at least four cups a day. It was totally weird. I agree with what Alto suggested and perhaps try an elimination diet to see what foods cause you to react. 

 

I really feel for you and wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything better. Sending you much love and good wishes. 

[melanie]

Hello Horns85,

 

Just stopping by to say hello. I've been reading about your struggle and thoughts of RI.

 

Those thoughts are triggered by a stressful situation IMO. It intensified the WD symptoms.

 

It just isn't worth going back on the poison after one year's fight...

 

You don't have to be perfect. You will do with just being average. Lexapro will make you less than average.

 

I'm currently on 1,25 mg Lexapro and struggling.

 

Your little girl deserves the best childhood with a med-free Dad. A happy childhood to remember for the rest of her life.

 

You need to be present in the here and now, to fully appreciate this little human being, every single moment with her.

 

Even with all the suffering you endure. Lexapro won't free you of that suffering.

 

Just my thoughts...

 

Take care,

Mel

[Horns85]

I caved and reinstated 5mg for 4 days. Gave me bad akathisia. Didn't work.

 

Did I just waste a whole year worth of recovery?

[melanie]

I caved and reinstated 5mg for 4 days. Gave me bad akathisia. Didn't work.

Did I just waste a whole year worth of recovery?

Horns85, how are you doing with the Lexapro? I also tried Lexapro RI in the last two months - from 1,25 mg to 2,5 mg. For three days. Then, after some time, for two days. Did not work.

 

They say somewhere on this site, that if you have an immediate bad reaction to the drug, you should stop it immediately. 5 mg is a huge dose... I hope a mod will come along to help you...

 

You gave up this drug for some good reason a year ago...

 

Mel

[Horns85]

 

I caved and reinstated 5mg for 4 days. Gave me bad akathisia. Didn't work.

Did I just waste a whole year worth of recovery?

Horns85, how are you doing with the Lexapro? I also tried Lexapro RI in the last two months - from 1,25 mg to 2,5 mg. For three days. Then, after some time, for two days. Did not work.

 

They say somewhere on this site, that if you have an immediate bad reaction to the drug, you should stop it immediately. 5 mg is a huge dose... I hope a mod will come along to help you...

 

You gave up this drug for some good reason a year ago...

 

Mel

I took it for 4 days. Quit on Thursday. It actually did calm me and immediately lift my mood a little bit gave me bad burning skin sensation and insomnia.

[melanie]

You'll be all right, just give it time. You haven't wasted your whole year of healing, that's for sure.

 

Lexapro is notorious for insomnia.

 

Be kind to yourself, take good care of your little baby girl.

 

Mel

[tgirl]

Are you back to sleeping horns?

[melanie]

I caved and reinstated 5mg for 4 days. Gave me bad akathisia. Didn't work.

Did I just waste a whole year worth of recovery?

One more thing, Horns85... If you could note the symptoms you got during that failed RI. That's what I did. Each time I want to do the Lexapro RI, cause my emotions start to get overwhelming... I look at those notes.

 

Take care,

Mel

[Mort81]

Just came across your thread. Im also dealing with the Lexapro effects. Im also over a year off. Some of my strong symptoms have gone away. Others have decreased drastically. I had very rare anxiety during WD until recently. Its like 100x stronger than any anxiety I've had and it showed up at 12 months off. Very weird but I know what you mean. The good thing is that this is 100%WD. Its only gonna get better. We might have normal anxiety but this WD induced anxiety won't last. Anyway hope your doing well. I saw the RI didn't work. That's OK you didn't waste any recovery. At least you know it doesn't work. The what if question is put to rest.

[DaddyCee]

I'm over a little 2 years off from Lexapro / Escitalopram and still hit waves, usually work stress related. I'm a lot better than I was 1 year ago but still a way off from how I would expect to feel once WD has finally ceased.

 

Morning cortisol stomach is one of my main symptoms at the moment and that has been going on for 4 months, though I do get the odd morning respite, which I can't pinpoint as to why. Just one of those things I suppose.

 

Namaste.

[starcontrol2]

Hi Horns85,

 

Just read your thread. So sorry you are suffering.

I am in bad withdrawal from lexapro with now zoloft on top...

My visual disturbances started while on lexapro and while it improves sometimes it hasn't subsided, plus I have a severe symptoms of WD on top. My vision is fine, its the visual processing thats very off...

[LexAnger]

How are you Horns?

[Horns85]

Good Morning All,

 

Been a while. Unfortunately, I did reinstate back to 10mg of Lexapro. I have been back at this dosage for about 4.5 months now and feeling almost 100% for about 8 weeks now. My plan is to begin my taper down to 5mg over the next 6-8 months via 10% taper.

 

My doc wrote me another script for 5mg liquid. I began taking half of 10mg tablet and 5mg of liquid Lex two days ago and I feel kinda crappy. Can my body really tell the difference that I am taking half liquid? That seems crazy to me. I'll hold here for a week or so and see if it levels out before dropping the liquid to 4mg. Does this make sense to anyone?

[greentrain]

HI Horns, 

 

I've been wondering how you are holding up. I'm trying to switch my mother over to liquid Celexa once I get her stabilized on a dose and I was told to make the move slowly - 25% liquid, 50%, 75% over the course of weeks. 

 

How's the baby? 

 

I'm 21 months out now. I'm MUCH better than I was when we began conversing back when I was just 7 or 8 months out. Those were awful days; hell, the last year and half has been a nightmare. I'm still experiencing weirdness but I'm not letting it slow me down. Maybe I'll have 3-5 days a month when the symptoms are just too much to carry on with outside activities. And, sometimes even then, they pass in a few hours and I'm able to resume with life. 

 

You'll have a much easier time taking a slow road down....I'm sure you'll reach stability soon. 

 

Best wishes, green

[LexAnger]

Hi Horns,

 

I am glad to hear reinstating lex worked for you so well (that was a tricky one as many got severe and serious reaction after stopping)!

 

I dont remember I had much issues switching from tablet to liquid BEFORE I started tapering, but I did get an immediate and strong eraction switching back from liquid to teblet for just one day feeling so lost hours after dosing.

 

My guess is, once our systems are over sensitized, tiny changes of various types can shake it. I had a severe reaction to one pill of vitamin D in middle of the taper last year, now I am not able to take anything at all. 

 

I would think your body will adjust to the change rather quickly and get use to the liquid and stablize again soon.

[Horns85]

HI Horns, 

 

I've been wondering how you are holding up. I'm trying to switch my mother over to liquid Celexa once I get her stabilized on a dose and I was told to make the move slowly - 25% liquid, 50%, 75% over the course of weeks. 

 

How's the baby? 

 

I'm 21 months out now. I'm MUCH better than I was when we began conversing back when I was just 7 or 8 months out. Those were awful days; hell, the last year and half has been a nightmare. I'm still experiencing weirdness but I'm not letting it slow me down. Maybe I'll have 3-5 days a month when the symptoms are just too much to carry on with outside activities. And, sometimes even then, they pass in a few hours and I'm able to resume with life. 

 

You'll have a much easier time taking a slow road down....I'm sure you'll reach stability soon. 

 

Best wishes, green

 

 

Hey Green,

 

Baby is great! Thank you for asking. Great to hear you are doing so much better!

 

Reinstating was tough, but it was the right decision in the end. With a new baby, a 3 year old, wife and a company with over 200 employees, I had to do something. It will be a long road down to 5mg. Slow and steady. At that point I will probably hold for a while before beginning that taper.

 

Anyway, great to hear WD isn't slowing you down much! Hang in there. If you need anything, let me know!

[Horns85]

Hi Horns,

 

I am glad to hear reinstating lex worked for you so well (that was a tricky one as many got severe and serious reaction after stopping)!

 

I dont remember I had much issues switching from tablet to liquid BEFORE I started tapering, but I did get an immediate and strong eraction switching back from liquid to teblet for just one day feeling so lost hours after dosing.

 

My guess is, once our systems are over sensitized, tiny changes of various types can shake it. I had a severe reaction to one pill of vitamin D in middle of the taper last year, now I am not able to take anything at all. 

 

I would think your body will adjust to the change rather quickly and get use to the liquid and stablize again soon.

Hey Lex,

 

How are you? Yes, I am fortunate it worked. Luckily, within about 2 weeks of being back at 10mg, about 70% of my symptoms were gone. The only symptom that still lingers a bit is the DP/DR and its much better.

 

I did seem to 'stabilize' on the combo of liquid and tablet.

 

Hope you are doing better. If you need anything, let me know!

[Rose9975]

Just wanted to say hi and hope we can all support each other on this unknown journey. I'M. interested in how you approach your tapering of Lexapro.What do you plan on doing differently?