success ☼ scottly9999: Lexapro nightmare

[scottly9999]

Still going well at 6.3mg

minimal if any symptoms.

[ikam]

GREAT

[scottly9999]

So far - good still.

Slightly fatigued, but could be diet etc.

Also another thing I've noticed, before I started SSRI's I had an episode with lower back pain.

Had a few times where I couldn't walk on and off.

Went on SSRI's didn't really notice much.

Had an episode about 4 or so years ago, where it was really bad for 6-12 months, then fine.

As I've got lower in dose, the pain has started to come back.

Again, could just be a coincidence.

[ikam]

I have had lots of physical pain, some unrelated to any injury, some just aggravated conditions I had...I think AD may be blocking pain receptors and when body becomes more alive we feel pain...

[scottly9999]

Hi Ikam

I do think that the SSRI's do inhibit some pain yes... which is probably why we get a "rebound" effect when stopping?  pins and needles and nerve type pain?

So much we just don't understand about these tablets.

Feeling a bit under the weather today - but think I'm getting a cold.

[scottly9999]

had a quiet fwe days with a cold or virus or something.

I'm positive it wasn't the tablets.

Had a good sleep last night, and feel very refreshed today.  Feel more and more like "me".

[ikam]

GREAT

[scottly9999]

We had a long weekend here - still getting over being ill.

Not sure what I've had, but have had zero energy.

It doesn't feel like it's the AD's, but don't know.

[mammaP]

Hope you feel better soon Scottly, it takes longer to get over things with withdrawal and tapering. I hope you feel better soon. 

How is Mrs Sottly doing? 

[scottly9999]

Still seem to be rundown... have had a whopper of a headache for 2 days straight now.

Mrs Scottly is doing quite well, although I'm still worried about the amount of serotonin reuptake inhibitors that are in her system....

If she lowers the Tramadol, she ends up in agony.  It's going to require a lot of work and effort.

[scottly9999]

One thing I've noticed that before I started SSRI's, I was particularly sensitive to too much sugar and processed foods, and caffeine.

While on SSRI's - I didn't seem to notice the effects nearly as much.

Now in tapering, I'm feeling the effects a bit more - like my body used to...

Again, could just be a co-incidence.

[scottly9999]

Seem to be getting better from whatever was wrong with me - could have been withdrawals, but felt more like a virus.

Had a good day yesterday - slept for 10 hours solid the night before - felt great.

[ikam]

How are you today?

[scottly9999]

Hi Ikam

 

Quite good, have been pretty much fairly consistently good since I shook off whatever I had - virus wise.

very stable mood, more and more interest in my hobbies etc.

Have been playing guitar daily - have it next to me at home, and fiddle a lot of the time.  I'm still not very good, but the improvements are enjoyable.

 

To give a measure of how I've been feeling, I've not even given the meds a second thought.

I did see an article on amotivational syndrome.  After reading that, it's clear that I was suffering from that on the meds.  May not have been "poop out".

I do recall that very soon after starting the meds, I didn't notice any particular effect, but i do remember being very "bored" most of the time, and hard to shift.

First time in years this is lifting.  

 

I can see how these drugs can help some people, but really although you can continue in your day to day life on them, you really need to be checked up on regularly for things such as amotivational syndrome etc...

I really hope that the GP who put me on them understands these drugs better.  I didn't see her after she laughed off my symptoms when I tried to stop... and almost became aggressive in the drugs defence.

In my experience, most GP's have NO idea about these drugs.  Some have an idea that they are tricky to stop - but more in a "relapse" kind of way... and most still peddle the rapid taper.

 

Finding this site, and the wonderful support of the members has been fantastic.

[scottly9999]

Update.

I was not feeling any withdrawal symptoms that I could attribute to SSRI tapering while at 6.3mg.

I gradually reduced the amount until I was on 6mg.

As of 5 days ago I've started at 5mg.

This is a milestone for me so far.  It's just half a 10mg tablet (apparently the smallest you can get of Lexapro in AUS).

No liquid top up.

I've again, not experienced any withdrawal symptoms.

I'll still hold this for at LEAST 4 weeks - as it's quite a drop from 6.3mg / 6mg.

 

Finger crossed.

[ikam]

GOOD LUCK

[scottly9999]

Bit of an update.

It's now been about 1.5 weeks on 5mg.

One thnig to point out here is that the tablets are generic escitalopram and the liquid solution is Lexapro.

Now that I've got to 5mg... that is 1/2 of a 10mg (smallest size apparently) escitalopram tablet.

I started to get SOME withdrawal symptoms, but took 5-6 days to come on.

just felt "off" in my head, not hugely, but noticibly.

Was a tad irritable, and super focused on doing a few things.

Since that - I've got mouth ulcers (canker sores to US folks) again - only just got over these a few weeks ago... under the tongue too, which is odd, and painful.

I've developed the "flat / lifeless" feeling again - as if I was on my regular 10mg escitalopram.

I was cruising quite well on 6.3mg - 6mg - with 5mg of escitalopram and 1mg of Lexapro liquid

Had interests bubbling away again.

Could just be other things, but I recognize this feeling - as being "drugged".

dunno - not overly concerned.

 

I WAS considering swapping to 5mg of Lexapro liquid - as I'd had more success with that (mixed with escitalopram)

[LexAnger]

Congrats to the huge achievement getting down quickly from 20 to 5!

It's a good idea to use liquid now with slower taper.

 

Good luck!

[scottly9999]

Thanks Lex!!

Actually, my normal dose was 10mg - for like 8 years.

And after working out what was wrong with me for nearly 7.5 of those years, as part of an experiment, I went UP in dose to 20mg..

Again not really knowing how / what / when etc... or how potent these things are.

So I was at 20mg for about 4-5 weeks, then 15mg for 4-6 weeks, then 10mg.

So SORT of down from 20mg - but only a short time.

[scottly9999]

This morning I decided to take 5mg of Lexapro liquid - INSTEAD of the 5mg (half 10mg tablet) escitalopram.

The reason being that over the last week, I've gone back to the "dead inside" feeling I'd been trying to get away from... and it feels just like how I felt on 10mg before I knew what was wrong.

I had been seeing def improvements up until recently, with emotions and feelings coming back, not over the top, just gently coming back.

But it's almost as if they've all receded again, and feel more "disconnected" again.

[ikam]

I oscillate between being connected and disconnected as well- I think this is just normal process of healing...

[scottly9999]

Ok, it's been 4-5 days since I swapped to Lexapro 5mg liquid for my AD dose, instead of 5mg escitalopram.

I really don't know if it's too early to PHYSICALLY be possible, but I DO feel a difference.

Mentally much better, wanting to do things - not manically, just normally.

On pure escitalopram, I felt dead inside, just nothing happening...

I've still got a way to go, as I can feel the drug still dulling the emotions to an extent, but massive improvement on 5mg Esci.

Again, not sure if it's even physically enough time for pure Lexapro to have an effect... or was it other factors?  busy at work?  Run-down again?  Tired?

But feel much better on Lex liquid.

if I can basically be like this until I'm off, that'll be fine.

[LexAnger]

Glad the liquid lex works well for you! Good luck for continuous peace with the brand name.

Generic gave me intolerable jaw pain. Lex gives me pain allover face, head etc. plus other fun stuff like numbness, pressure on head. I feel lexapro in general a huge pain related creator.

[ikam]

Glad you feeling better...

As for me the other factors (work, financial problems, etc.) have had a huge contribution to the way I feel...

I have noticed that I can work hard, do a lot of things almost normally, but when I crash over the weekend I am usually double tired...This is the reason I have stopped with tapering at present...

[scottly9999]

Hi GUys

 

just checking in again.

so far, mostly good.

have had jaw pain on and off, so hard to know if it's related or not.

 

As a general rule of thumb, I find the better I feel, the less I think about it, and don't post as often, as I'm busy doing things I enjoy - which is good.

Still returning slowly to me - and it's a very much up and down, back and forth - very very subtle process... and as has been said, you often  can't tell how well you're doing until later.

[LexAnger]

Glad you are going well!

Jaw pain was the only problem stopped me from further tapering back in 2013 during the initial withdrawl effort.

 

You have been cutting pretty fast, like I did back then. I didn't have huge issues until around 2.5mg.

[scottly9999]

my jaw joint feels bruised this morning, i wonder if I was clenching in the night??

I THINK I missed my dose yesterday too.

I know that when I play the guitar, I pull some of those funny guitar faces, and I THINK my jaw goes funny then too... but hard to notice at the time.

[scottly9999]

Bit of an update.

Just had a couple of days off work, annual leave (vacation) time, just needed a few days off... was covering for 3 people for 3 weeks.

First 2 days were great, felt good... a little "TOO" good really.

Had a bit of a late night Friday night with some mates... had a restless sleep Friday night - woke up with an annoying headache that I could not shift all day, and felt very very out of it.

Almost like I'd missed a few days of my Lexapro...

Hard to concentrate, didn't know where to put myself.

Went to bed early Saturday night, wife stayed up to pick up son from a party.

Woke numerous times in night - not like me at all... woke at 11:30 when wife came home... then 2am when wife came to bed, and 3 for no real reason - was WIDE AWAKE until gone 6:30am.. dozed until 7:30-8.

Headache again (still)... and was just mopey all day, sort of half wanted to do things, but couldn't concentrate or motivate myself.

Come Monday morning feeling more like my old self, still a bit dazed.

Not sure what happened to me over the last few days.

[scottly9999]

Just checking in again.

I've been exceptionally tired the last 2 weeks or so, needing more sleep than usual.  Can't say it's Lexapro related or not.

Time of year I think, 3 months of winter now here in Melbourne, bit over it.

LOTS of colds and flu going around.  Nasty ones too.

The withdrawals I got from dropping to 5mg seemed to have disappated, but they come in go in the waves and windows as described...

You find yourself studying your own mind and body TOO much sometimes... as opposed to just getting on with it.

I had a few really focused days mentally, but have been overcome with a bit of mind fog again that I can't seem to shift.

dull headaches (always had them anyway) and a slight "pressure" sensation with the headaches.

Mind fog makes it harder to find the right word while talking sometimes, and even while typing.

I do feel that THIS is related to Lexapro.

Mood wise, quite stable... although slightly low at the moment, nothing major or specific, just a bit meh.

 

I DID try and goto 4.5mg (which is a 10% drop from 5mg) and measured that out, took that - but felt REALLY foggy in my head... after 1 day, back to 5mg...

Again, not sure what it was - but didn't feel ready to handle any grief from WD.

[scottly9999]

Hi all

I've been on 4.5mg (10% down frmo 5mg) for last 3-4 days.

And so far doing quite well.

The waves I notice now are mostly how foggy I feel in the head vs how clear I feel, and how much more 3D the world feels.

Def feeling more and more like my old self... it's nothing that anybody would even notice from the outside...

Feel more stable too, less mood swings, but it's really hard to notice them when you're having them, it's not until you get a lovely WINDOW that you can get perspective.

[LexAnger]

Congrat to the great progress!

Happy for you. Wish you continuous healing!

[ikam]

This is GREAT! Makes me more hopeful...I want to re-start tapering soon...

[Wingbatty]

Your progress is really inspiring! Especially because you've been so patient & done the taper exactly right, and you're doing great. Bravo.

[scottly9999]

Hi All

 

Thanks for the support and kind words everybody!

Def having success getting off this drug.

4.5mg noticing quite a profound change in my perspective and perception of reality - in a good way.

Mood is good, have had a few waves of being a bit low, but feels sort of "normal" in a way.

It the stuff def comes in waves and windows - ebb and flow.

I do get very tired currently at night, and notice I get "restless legs" around that time too.  But only very mild

 

Ikam:  I do think that there are a LOT of people who DO get off these drugs, I personally know of quite a few that have got off Effexor (some just stopped, and another 2 years).

I think what happens to us sometimes, is we just want ANSWERS, and to UNDERSTAND whats happening, so we read and read and read.

One of the problems of the internet is that sometimes the most vocal are the ones that are suffering the most.  So that tends to be the info we read the most.

The ones that are feeling great, just get on with their lives, and not post updates.

Thats why I'm trying to make an effort to post positive updates, as well as the more negative ones initially.

[ikam]

This is the reason I stopped reading, as I was getting preoccupied with symptoms. I have ups and downs, but lots is related to my life...I don't deny I had severe response in the beginning when I had to cut really fast...

I have been pretty stable at present, but still unsure about my next step...I will never be stress free to get "the ideal time"...

[scottly9999]

Still getting small waves and windows... mostly relating to how I perceive reality around me - how "with it" I feel.

As opposed to physical symptoms.

My windows generally are of clarity of thought and focus.

The waves are "feeling off, but can't put my finger on it" - which was mostly how I felt 90% of the time on Lexapro in the first place - also a very disinterested and bored - zoned out feeling.

I'm feeling so much more hopeful and positive about getting off too.

 

Do people find it easier at the end or start of tapering off??