Greg70: Greg's transformation

[Greg70]

Hello everyone. I'm Greg and have been a Paxil user since December of 1997. My "Paxil" taper was making "progress" on another forum that was shut down, and of course I won't mention the name of that forum. Anyway, I started having panic attacks back in '94 and was prescribed Prozac initially, which only drove my panic and anxiety through the roof. I was then given Xanax to counteract the anxiety. I finally CT'd the Prozac after several months after telling my pdoc that I thought it was making me worse. I then went on a TCA, Imipramine, for a year or so. It maybe helped a bit but gave me headaches and severe constipation. I discontinued it too and then just got by on occasional Xanax. In December of 1997, having run out of Xanax and having severe panic and anxiety again I sought out another pdoc who put me on 30mg Paxil. This did the trick and my panic attacks subsided but would still flare up on occasion. I was down to needing a Xanax maybe a few times a year and even went several years without any. My depression improved too, however I still had depressive episodes that would last for several days on occasion. I also gained over 125 pounds during my 18 years of use.

 

Then in February of 2013 my anxiety and panic seemed to come out of nowhere and took over my entire sense of self. I called of off work for a week and was terrified as I went in and out of deep depersonalization. My pdoc then raised my Paxil to 40mg and of course I started hitting the Xanax heavily. Wellbutrin was added to the mix. This raised my mood a bit but it also raised the anxiety. I even went to the ER one afternoon when my BP went over 200. The Wellbutrin was stopped after a month or so. I then lived from Xanax to Xanax for several months. After discovering a website that dedicated itself to making progress for Paxil users I realized that the updose may not have helped me. Thanks to Brassmonkey Tom, I had the courage to reduce my Paxil dose. Between November and May, I worked my way down from 40mg to below my 30mg long-term dose. I also weaned myself from the 1mg of daily Xanax I was taking. Finally this past summer the constant anxiety let its grasp go and I am starting to feel like myself again.

 

I'm currently down to 25.5mg on my Paxil. I'm taking my taper nice and slow and generally reduce around 1.5% every 3 weeks. I still get some waves of anxiety but I'm still able to function. I've also been seeing a counselor since February of 2013, which has helped immensely. I've learned several tricks to combat anxiety and panic as well as address issues in my life that cause it. My goal isn't necessarily to get off of Paxil, but I'd like to greatly reduce my dose and then take it from there.

Edited March 4, 2017 by scallywag
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[brassmonkey]

Hi Greg-- it's wonderful to hear that you're doing so well.  It's been quite the year hasn't it.  This next one should show a lot more gains, keep up the good work.

[Songbird]

Good to see you here, Greg!  Sounds like you are doing great with your nice slow taper.

[mammaP]

Hi Greg, welcome to SA. It's ok you can mention PP here, no-one minds and the pp refugees  seem

to be settling quite well here.   . Well done for getting off the xanax, I.m glad that you are feeling 

more like yourself now.  Could you put your drug and tapering history in your signature for us? You 

will find a link in my signature that tells you how to do that. 

[Ever]

Heya Greg! Very happy you're here

[Greg70]

Thanks for the welcome everyone. I'm doing pretty good but have some anxiety associated with some major life changes. I'm in the process of changing jobs, selling my house, and moving to another state. It's causing me some sleep issues and is challenging, but I think my life will be better in the long run. I've managed to get by without using any Xanax, although I have been taking partial Lunestas to help with sleep.

 

I've been on 25.65mg Paxil for 25 days now and am doing a small drop starting this evening down to 25.32mg.

[brassmonkey]

Three of lifes top stressors at once on top of WD?  What are you thinking? LOL  Seriously, I hope it all goes well, sometimes a good shakeup is what is needed to really get things going.  Sounds like you have a good handle on it though.

[Rhiannon]

Kudos for doing a smart slow taper.

 

When you get the chance, please enter a sig line, as MammaP explains above.

[steeley]

Hi Greg,

 

It's me, I made it off the sinking ship and no longer blame myself, yay me, sorry PP.

 

You sure are doing a long slow taper and I reckon that's the way to go, except I get impatient asnd try to rush things always to my detriment. You're doing it the right way and I'm trying to follow suit, because as I sink into the lower dosages the impact is greater with each drop, so am trying to slow it down.

 

Anyrate just wanted to make contact and say hi as a fellow refugee and traveller. We've had a fewgood laughs along the way. Je Suis Charlie.

[Greg70]

Three of lifes top stressors at once on top of WD?  What are you thinking? LOL  Seriously, I hope it all goes well, sometimes a good shakeup is what is needed to really get things going.  Sounds like you have a good handle on it though.

 

I hear you on that, Tom! I guess it goes under the category of not letting fear control me. This is all part of the relationship issue that I talked about on my PP journal. So you can add ending a longterm relationship to the list too! I know it's said not to change relationships during withdrawal, but in working with my counselor I found that not being completely happy in my relationship was a major source of my anxiety.

[Greg70]

Hello, gang! It's been a looooooooong time since I've posted. I see many of the same faces here. Hope you all are doing well. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still on the sunny side of the grass and hanging in there. I've been tapering very slowly and am down to the low 17 mg range right now. Interestingly, at higher doses anxiety used to be my problem. Now the anxiety is pretty much gone, although I get a touch here and there. Nowadays I get bad depression for a half a day or a day maybe. This is every week or so. It's usually triggered by something that the wife says or something at work and then I over react. I suppose a lot of it is learning to deal with things on my own, instead of letting Paxil mask them.

[mammaP]

Hi Greg, thanks for popping in and giving us an update. I am pleased to see that you are still doing well and that your slow taper is working for you.

You are doing great and we look forward to your  eventual success story   .

[Greg70]

I'm currently down to 15.02 now. I had a miserable night last night and a miserable day full of crying and suicidal thoughts (thoughts only, not plans!). Hopefully this will pass. 

 

One of the reasons I want to get off the Paxil is so that I will hopefully be able to lose weight. I'm well over 300 pounds and getting older so it has become a health concern. So far the weight hasn't budged as I've tapered. From what I've read, I need to be completely off or way below 10mg to make a difference. Time will tell.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Greg,

 

Thank you for dropping in to update.

 

It would be really helpful if you could Please put your Withdrawal History in Signature and update as you make changes.  This way it can be seen at a glance whenever you post so people don't have to read back through your Intro/Update topic.  Thank you.

[Greg70]

Thought I would check in and say that I'm still around. My dose is down to 10.something mg now and I'm doing pretty good. I have short bouts of depression that last a day or two. They are almost always associated with a life event trigger (job security, family loss, family disagreement, etc). I'm learning to not react so emotionally to these situations, but that takes time to learn and I have years of emotional bad habits to undo. A month or so ago I was having those preliminary feelings that I was about to go off the deep end again. I've had two complete meltdowns in the past (2/94 and 2/13) where I was unable to do anything but lay on the couch for a week in a ball of anxiety. I was worried that those strange feelings were creeping back. Fortunately, those feelings diminished and passed. Must've been a wave. I have to remind myself from time to time that I am still withdrawing from a very powerful psychotropic medication and am doing quite well all things considered. 

 

Hope you all are doing well too.

[brassmonkey]

Excellent update Greg.  It sounds like things are going quite well.  There will be "hick ups" along the way.  The periodic meltdowns are such a pain in the ..... but are rather necessary.  I always felt better a few days later as I would have raised the WDnormal level with the meltdown.  The 10.something range is a great place to be.  Three quarters of the way there, wow.  I did an extended hold at 10mg just to give everything time to settle in before continuing, might be an idea, just to "catch your breath".

[Greg70]

I was in the process of seeing if I have enough paroxetine stockpiled or if I have to go back to the doc for another scrip. It looks like I have enough. I've been kind of making up my drops as I go. Generally I'm doing around 5 mg pill weight every 2-4 weeks. I change it up a bit depending on life stuff, like vacations or work-related travel. I also don't drop if I'm having a depressive episode. My spreadsheet calculates the slope of the reduction curve and I use that to make sure I'm not getting too out of line. I realize that I have to be more careful when I get down to the lower doses. 

 

The reason I stopped by here was to see where the recommended jumping off dose is. Looks like somewhere around the 1mg range. 

[brassmonkey]

That used to be the thinking Greg, but over the past several years it has become very apparent that 1mg is way too high. We've had a number of people jump at that range and end up having a rough time and have to reinstate and taper further.  The current thinking is about 0.15mg, which is a lot smaller. I currently am at 0.16mg and still having second thoughts about taking the plunge.  I know it will add a lot of time to the taper, but it is a lot better to go slowly than have symptoms blindside you in a couple of months, suffer through a reinstatement/stabilization and retaper.

[ChessieCat]

Hi Greg,

 

Here are a couple of SA discussions:

 

When to end the taper and jump to zero?

Experiences after tapering to zero

 

Why taper paper: dose-occupancy curves

[Greg70]

I'm down to 9.26 and hit with a bit of a wave I guess. I've had a knot in my stomach for several months and bowels are kind of all over the place. I finally gave in and went to the doctor. He has scheduled me for a colonoscopy since "change in bowel habits" is a warning sign for colon cancer. So of course now my bowels are feeling even worse!  I got some relief today when I called the insurance company and found out the test is 100% covered as opposed to the 3 grand I was expecting to pay out of pocket. I thnk the fact that it got worse when he told me to go get checked points to it being anxiety related. I've always had a hair-trigger response in my gut anytime I get bad news or other stress. I seem to remember back in my paxilprogress days that a lot of people came on complaining about irritable bowel syndrome when tapering. The doctor gave me a fresh fill of Paxil so now I have way more than enough to finish my taper. With this in mind I'm going to hang out at this dose for a few months and see if things settle out.

 

The doctor also gave me a new scrip for high blood pressure called linisiprol (sp?). That could possibly be driving some of this. I must say it knocked my BP back into the same zone though.

 

Brassmonkey- if you read this, congrats on hitting ZERO! 

[brassmonkey]

Thanks Greg.

 

It really sounds like the "IBS" is an anxiety issue.  I remember a lot of people back at PriorPlace having gut issues from tapering.  It should clear up with time.  Getting to 9.26 is great, you're making wonderful progress.

[Madeleine]

Greg: 
 Don't worry about cancer. Get the colonoscopy if it makes you feel better, but it's likely anxiety and taper-related as brass said. The nervous and digestive system are very closely related.  So, whenever we are anxious, things sort of "speed up" if you know what I mean, and so we have stomach issues.  I know from first-hand experience.  Once your nervous system calms down, it's highly likely that this symptom your are describing will too.
Best wishes,

M.

[Greg70]

I've held the same dose for about a month now and my bowels have stabilized. My movements are pretty regular and a healthy consistency now. I have my colonoscopy in a few weeks and I'm no longer scared that they are going to find something bad. 

[scallywag]

Good to read that your digestion has stabilized. Wishing you all the best for the 'scope in a few weeks.

[miT]

Hello, gang! It's been a looooooooong time since I've posted. I see many of the same faces here. Hope you all are doing well. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm still on the sunny side of the grass and hanging in there. I've been tapering very slowly and am down to the low 17 mg range right now. Interestingly, at higher doses anxiety used to be my problem. Now the anxiety is pretty much gone, although I get a touch here and there. Nowadays I get bad depression for a half a day or a day maybe. This is every week or so. It's usually triggered by something that the wife says or something at work and then I over react. I suppose a lot of it is learning to deal with things on my own, instead of letting Paxil mask them.

Totally agreed. I also feel less anxious on the lower doses of paxil. And when it does come up I can handle it better, so it doesn’t span the whole day anymore.

I’m cautious though. Maybe I’m in a long stretched window. Anyway that’s how it goes I guess. Couple of steps forward, couple of steps backward.

 

All the best.

[Greg70]

I'm down to 7.7mg now and my anxiety is really starting to rage. I've had this dose for a few weeks and was at 7.9mg for at least 6 weeks before that. I've got a very stressful project at work and it's driving a lot of it. I've managed to not take any Xanax but I'm pretty miserable. I'm debating whether I should bump up the 10mg range where I'm getting a therapeutic dose. I'm also thinking about going back to a shrink and trying another med.

[nz11]

Hi Greg sorry things have turned rough.

Well done on not taking any Xanax. Although your drug sig is vague on how often you have been taking it for the last 4 ? years.

Do you think the anxiety could be caused by prior benzo use? You haven't said how often you are using this. Addiction could be established as quickly as two weeks use.

How did you feel at 7.9 mg , maybe a longer hold there could be the way to go? 

 

Switching is very high risk. I have seen some people end up on multiples of current dosage just to quell wdl symptoms of the prior drug setting the eta of being drug free back years.

Do you think the shrink will be able to understand you are having wdl symptoms? or maybe they will remain silent on this subject giving a whole new meaning to the word 'shrink.'

 

Wishing you stability,

I think a few mods may be on holiday at the moment. We need cc to jump behind the counter and get things moving again. 

Hang in there

nz11

 

[miT]

20 hours ago, Greg70 said:

I'm down to 7.7mg now and my anxiety is really starting to rage. I've had this dose for a few weeks and was at 7.9mg for at least 6 weeks before that. I've got a very stressful project at work and it's driving a lot of it. I've managed to not take any Xanax but I'm pretty miserable. I'm debating whether I should bump up the 10mg range where I'm getting a therapeutic dose. I'm also thinking about going back to a shrink and trying another med.

 

I wouldn't updose. Waves will always be there. Are you sure it's not a wave? A stressful job doesn't help either. Try meditation or other techniques to make the best out of the anxious moments. Consider staying at 7.7mg for at least two months.

 

I'm getting more anxious on the lower doses at well. Go really slow and acquire some coping techniques!

[Greg70]

Just checking in some 5 years later. I left that high stress job and that took care of most of the anxiety. About 2 years ago I had tapered down to around 3mg on the Paxil. I was getting some baseline anxiety that would come and go. I had some other things going on in my life with major health issues with family members and some concerns about my own physical health. I was having a tough time getting the baseline anxiety to let go. I did a lot of meditation and took OTC sleep aids. I started needing Xanax several times a week to cope. I talked to my doctor and they put me on 10mg of Lexapro. I had no issues with the transition, although I did a fast taper of the remaining Paxil for a few weeks and then slowly ramped up the Lexapro to the 10mg dose. After several weeks I noticed that the constant low-grade anxiety had passed. I'm doing pretty good now. I get depressed on occasion and sometimes I take small dose of Xanax if I get some devastating news but for the most part I'm able to deal with life's ups and downs.