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Mapleleafgirl: Successfully Tapered off Paxil


MapleleafGirl

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today is not a good day...the head thing is worse today...not sure why i have a couple of ok days..then a crappy day now...this thing is a roller coaster....when i feel like this..it just makes me think...why i wasted 4 years tapering so slow...then things happen..but again...when you are off the meds ...the unknown is very real....everyday i wake up thinking...maybe this will be the day i feel better.....i am just frustrated at this point..over it all....because i was getting farther away from the meds....anyway...just feeling sorry for myself today i guess...

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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Thats ok. It will improve. I feel sorry for myself sometimes too, and think, here I am going so slow, why bother? i still feel like crap a lot anyway. But even so, the healing would have been more difficult and severe, and much longer if you had left things at a rapid taper or a CT. 

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Hi MapleleafGirl

 

I just wanted to say that I had read your successful taper so many times and think you were so patient and really brave through it all. I had horrible W/D symptoms after 10 months tapering from 10mg to 5mg and 7.5mg Paroxetine and I am still on 7.5mg everyday now.

 

I am definitely going to do a slow taper like you but I am also really nervous and anxious as I still have very tingly feet and the same type of head pressure that DLB mentioned (a feeling like something is pressing on my forehead). It's been 3 months and my W/D's are definitely a lot better but I also know that there will be times it will come back while and after tapering. I do think we have to accept that it is W/D and not something else but also know it's sometimes easier said than done,  I do understand your anxiety about your symptoms returning but I really do think you have turned a corner and will only start to go from strength to strength.

 

You are a real inspiration! All the best.

 

Africa

<p>February 2009 started taking Paroxetine 10 mg everyday. Reducing very slowly in February 2015.15

December 2015 was on 5 mg Paroxetine 4 days a week and 7.5 mg 3 days a week.

Severe withdrawal. Back to 7.5mg everyday from today 25 March 2016  7.1 mg everyday (stayed on this dose for 8 weeks) 23 May 2016   6.7 mg everyday (stayed on this dose for 6 weeks) 4 July 2016   6.3 mg everyday (stayed on this dose for 8 weeks). 2 September 2016  5.9 mg (stayed on this dose for 10 weeks) 9 November 2016  5.6 mg (stayed on this dose for 8 weeks) 4 January 2017  5.3 mg (stayed on this dose for 6 weeks) 20 February 2017  5 mg (it's taken me 2 year to get half way!!) (stayed on this dose for 4 months) 20 June 2017   4.6 mg (stayed on this dose for 5 months ) 27 November 2017   4.2 mg (stayed on this dose for 7 months) 17 June 2018   3.9 mg (stayed on this dose for 7 months) 22 January 2019   3.5 mg {stayed on this dose for 2 years) 16 January 2021   3.2 mg 

3 April 2021  3mg

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I hate hearing that stuff as someone who accidentally did a cold turkey....:( gotta try and stay positive.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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coldturkmama - you are an inspiration for sure...i admire you so much for going through that...you are so strong....much more than me...i could never have delt with that...main reason why i went back on in 2007....i am trying to stay positive..

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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  • 2 weeks later...

Please update us MLG ❤️

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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Thank you Maple <3 it was one of the single worst experiences of my life but I do believe it made me stronger. I must admit, it was ignorance on my part however, that led me to do a cold turkey. Keep on keeping on, we will get through!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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not in a good place..depressed...thoughts of dying...not doing well...

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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 You are in a place of understanding .  We have all had our ups & downs. However if it's bad , please get help , right away .  Do you have a counsellor / therapist or friend you can talk to  ?

If you do , that would be a good idea , right now .

Hugs ,

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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It will get better my friend, I myself have had those thoughts as well, talk to the people you love, or friends on here, if it's bad get some help for it and remeber this too shall pass. Hugs Ali

10 years citalopram 30mg- tapered down in December 15/2015- Jan 15/2016 to 20mg for two weeks, ten for one week and five for another week, then stopped, less then two weeks later, sheer hell broke lose with debilitating withdrawal symptoms.

 

Update-- reinstated 5mg of celexa on feb 5-- within hours noticed immediate difference in WD symptoms-- Holding holding and more holding.

 

Updose- March 23/16 too 10mg- relieved the harsher head symptoms- current symptoms headaches, dizzy, numbness and tingling in my head.

 

Benzos- 2015-Ativan on and off for 6 months 2mg- switched to clonazepam nov 2015- 2mg till Jan 2016 Zopiclone 7.5mg nov-dec 2015- was tapered off over 4weeks- Currently in protracted withdrawal. ????????????????????????????????

 

Update- ended up in the hospital April 18/16 major suicidal ( never had that before) was admitted/ been there ever since, put me back to full dose celexa 30mg no drugs added, IAM FINALLY STABLE AFTER 3 months of tortuous hell. Got a great physiatrist that new all about WD, he will help me taper properly in a couple of months at 5% deductions holding 8 weeks. I never want to relive that hell again.

 

Udate- stable and holding, doing things slowly is key.

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  • Moderator

Those thoughts are just the WDs playing with you.  Don't let them have control by fearing them. Ignore them and they will settle down. If it gets too rough make sure that you have someone close by that you can talk to.

 

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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not in a good place..depressed...thoughts of dying...not doing well...

 

Hi, Michele.  I know you are down.  It is really hard to be where you are after having been in a better place for almost 2 years.  You were away from the board for 2 weeks.  Was it all bad time or did you have some more positive moments mixed in?  I'm trying to get a sense of how constant the negative feelings are? 

 

Are you sleeping at all?

 

Just remember that you are deeply cared for by a lot of people here.

 

Hang in there.  It will get better.

 

Best,

 

Andy

 

 

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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i just hope these feelings pass and soon..i have never had these before..its not fun..and its scary...i sleep minimal...

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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  • Moderator Emeritus

As BrassMonkey said, Michele, they are just other withdrawal symptoms.  They are upsetting and difficult, but they are not real.  Distract yourself to the extent you can so that you can actively use your mind in better places.

 

You will get past this bump.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Michele.  Please keep a support network in place , for these  " scary times".  If it helps , I don't sleep either . It's 4 am here , now .  I'm making small improvements , but it's tiring and repetitious !

Hang in there , and round up that support , for the bad times !

Hugs,

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi, lady. I can't remember if you ever told me your age, and it's been many years since we've talked, so this may be a longshot. (Or irrelevant.) But as I read this (so sorry you're having this wave!), it flashed into my mind that perhaps you're perimenopausal? We know these meds and withdrawal disrupt hormonal balance, so it stands to reason that even if you've been symptom-free, you might be slightly "sensitized" to even natural hormonal changes.

 

For the record, I do not recommend messing with menopausal hormonal changes if possible. (I have reasons for urging women to avoid pharmaceutical hormones for natural menopause, and I think the jury's still out with bio-identical hormones. I've been post-menopausal for so long I really haven't kept up on that.) But if you're an age where perimenopause is possible, if you haven't been tested for that, it might be helpful in understanding what might be going on with your body's biochemistry and less disconcerted with the natural changes til they balance out.

 

If that's not relevant, I'll mention that I had unexpected waves long after I thought I wouldn't, but although they could last months at first, they got briefer and less frequent - and certainly less severe - as time went on. I tended to have a knee-jerk reaction of "omg, I'm back in w/d" when they'd happen, but I learned to realize what they were and remind myself of that pattern of decreasing severity and frequency that I found was the case. It really helped me to remind myself of that, and that I would not be "in w/d" again like my my mind would reflexively think.

 

I hope you feel better very soon.

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Hi mapleleaf...I wanted to tell you, that when I have a bad/intense anxiety wave, it almost always moves into depression before it ends. maybe the intense anxiety drains our reserves and depression follows as a result, temporarily of course, and then when that bit passes the wave is done. This pattern is how most of my waves go. It'll pass!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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Hi,

 

When i reached 18 months out I started getting intense head pressure, migraines, vision problems, body felt twice as heavy etc etc. These are all starting to get better now.

 

Mindfulness has been a huge help to me lately and I would really encourage you to get started with some exercises/meditation every day. Try not to fight these feelings, accept them and you will feel the very best you can feel right now and healing will come eventually.

 

Hang in there!

Effexor 150mg July 2011 - March 2014

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Hang in there....it will pass. Come talk if you need.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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i just feel so scared right now..i just want a window..or something good...

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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  • Moderator

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi MLG,

How are you feeling? Better I am hoping. I too am in a horrible wave and can totally relate to the sleeping thing. This fight is so hard and not fair we have to endure it. I want to say you are truly an inspiration to all of us and I am praying everyday we all overcome this!

40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding.....

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  • 2 weeks later...

Checking on you MLG!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

week 8 and still in this nightmare....

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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Are any of the symptoms easing up for you  at all or are they pretty much staying the same? Any new ones come up? One thing you might consider if you have not is having your thyroid and hormones checked to see if there have been any changes to them that may have triggered this. 

40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding.....

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my hubby just majorly yelled at me..and told me i better get better and fast...he has had enough...that i am bringing on all the mental symptoms myself..and that i need to just get on with my life..or i am going to go down and fast..that i will either end up in a mental hospital or suicide..he does not believe at all the windows and waves thing..he is like..what all of a sudden you will wake up and feel better..he said..i have gotten worse in the last two months.....and unless..i just get on with my life..i wont be getting better..than i am bringing on all the depression and ideation thoughts.

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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Im so sorry!!! That must have just made your anxiety so much worse to hear all of that. He doesnt understand, he hasnt been in your shoes and he has no idea. But we do, and we all know that you can feel great one day and horrible the next, very easily. Talk to us, because we've been there and we know what its like. This too shall pass!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

 

It's so frustrating to be on the other side and not being able to help.  I went through that for years with Monica's stomach problems.  Not understanding what it's like doesn't help any either.  Don't let his anger be a reason for things getting worse.  Trying to be as normal as you can, even if it's just going through the motions can help on both sides, and with time things will sort themselves out.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Yikes, that's rough. Have you shown him these sites? Shown him what we all are going through? He might have an inkling if he could just read what these poisons do to people.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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he has no interest..he thinks its all b.s..and we are making it up..

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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I wish I could just snap out of it and that it was all b.s. and I was back to normal, unfortunately that's not the reality of this, I'm sorry he doesn't understand how you feel, that just makes things worse. Sending you healing prayers. Ali

10 years citalopram 30mg- tapered down in December 15/2015- Jan 15/2016 to 20mg for two weeks, ten for one week and five for another week, then stopped, less then two weeks later, sheer hell broke lose with debilitating withdrawal symptoms.

 

Update-- reinstated 5mg of celexa on feb 5-- within hours noticed immediate difference in WD symptoms-- Holding holding and more holding.

 

Updose- March 23/16 too 10mg- relieved the harsher head symptoms- current symptoms headaches, dizzy, numbness and tingling in my head.

 

Benzos- 2015-Ativan on and off for 6 months 2mg- switched to clonazepam nov 2015- 2mg till Jan 2016 Zopiclone 7.5mg nov-dec 2015- was tapered off over 4weeks- Currently in protracted withdrawal. ????????????????????????????????

 

Update- ended up in the hospital April 18/16 major suicidal ( never had that before) was admitted/ been there ever since, put me back to full dose celexa 30mg no drugs added, IAM FINALLY STABLE AFTER 3 months of tortuous hell. Got a great physiatrist that new all about WD, he will help me taper properly in a couple of months at 5% deductions holding 8 weeks. I never want to relive that hell again.

 

Udate- stable and holding, doing things slowly is key.

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I'm so sorry you're still not doing well. Please, please make an appointment with your doctor and request hormone level tests. Including thyroid tests like Jlynn suggested; I didn't think of that when I suggested hormone level evaluation in my previous post in this thread.

 

It's a fact that these meds mess with all those hormone levels - it's common to have changes while on them and when recovering from them. Or if one of those hormones is a bit off, it could be coincidence but resemble w/d... and also I think the body can sometimes be more sensitive to all kinds of changes for some time even after other w/d symptoms are gone. It might really help to get tests and know better what's going on.

 

(As for your husband, I think it's impossible for anyone who hasn't experienced what we have to even conceive of what we go through. It's unlike any other thing in most peoples' experience. I do wish he were more supportive, but I agree with the idea to avoid showing or mentioning how you feel with him, as much as possible. (I know how hard that is! I'm so sorry.) Please know that we care about you so much. I'll be thinking of you often, and please consider making a doctor appointment soon. You don't even need to talk about w/d if your doctor doesn't understand. Maybe just mention the symptoms that could relate to possible hormonal (including thyroid) changes, and request that they be tested thoroughly.

 

{{{{{{{{{{Hugs!}}}}}}}}}}}

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Wow I'm so sorry to hear that. ..:(

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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still feeling awful...8 weeks out...

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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It's gotta give. You have to hold on and just keep going. You WILL come out of this!  *BIG HUGS* 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

thanks Coldturkmama..i keep holding on to that....its hard struggle everyday...as i just want to end it all....i want my life back...

Michele aka MapleLeafGirl

Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014

Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001

Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil

My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/

Tapering Schedule:

3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills
05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)
04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)
06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper)

February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad

May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI  - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future

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