Tamtam1 Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Hi maple girl I noticed that you said you are using peppermint oil, I have been told that peppermint is stimulating to the nervous system so I would look into that and stop using it. Hope you feel better soon. Took 20mg of Prozac from March 2005 until May 2014 with a couple of breaks in there, my last break was 6-7months in 2008. Tapered every other day for a couple of weeks May 2014 and quit, only symptom was rage for a couple of weeks. August 2014-major stress in life insomnia started, tried taking Prozac for 4 days and started twitching and moncylonic jerks. stopped taking it, wasn't my generic I thought that was the problem, my Prozac was unavailable for 6 weeks so I waited. October 2014- took my generic Prozac for a couple of days, twitching and jerking starts again so I stopped. November 2014-OCD make a very unwelcome appearance so I decide to start at 10mg of Prozac and it works for a couple of weeks, I am sleeping and feeling like me again, after 2 1/2 weeks insomnia kicks in and in the next couple of days the twitching and jerking start again. So I wean off in one week and that's when the problems begin. December 2014-stop the Prozac, symptoms begin. waking between 3-4 every morning with panic, tremors in back of head, waking up to my entire body vibrating, suicidal, anxiety, eyes blurry, feeling off balance reacting to sleep aids. February 2015-first window lasted a day. May 2015- 2 week window (it was beautiful) June 2015-became depressed, but lifted at the end of the month, had a couple mild waves, but can absolutely tell they are not as bad as 6 months ago. Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 I wish it were that easy to just blow over .. That would be nice... And I would be so happy... But right now I am so depressed I see No light at the end... This is by far the worst symptom... I really don't have much anxiety... Just the head stuff.. Sensitivity to light and sound.. Floaters in my eyes.. Messed up vision and this horrible depression and SI all the time ... No let up for weeks now...I can't watch tv... Listen to music.. Go out of my house.. I am basically trapped in the room most of the time... It's frustrating.... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 I'm so sorry you are going through so much. I really wish that your husband were more understanding. Is there anyone in your life that does get it, besides us? Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 My dad... He believes me 100%.. Because he took the time to read up on it all.. He belived me right away.. But he lives 5 hours away... He calls me everyday to make sure I am ok.. But it's hard when I have a hubby who thinks none of its true... Won't read about it because he thinks he is right and it's all in my mind and I am the one who let it get this bad.. Therefore I have to go back on meds to function.. So that is stressful on me as there is pressure for me to get better right awAy... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Ali4 Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 You will get through this, always here for you if you want to pm me ???? take it easy Ali 10 years citalopram 30mg- tapered down in December 15/2015- Jan 15/2016 to 20mg for two weeks, ten for one week and five for another week, then stopped, less then two weeks later, sheer hell broke lose with debilitating withdrawal symptoms. Update-- reinstated 5mg of celexa on feb 5-- within hours noticed immediate difference in WD symptoms-- Holding holding and more holding. Updose- March 23/16 too 10mg- relieved the harsher head symptoms- current symptoms headaches, dizzy, numbness and tingling in my head. Benzos- 2015-Ativan on and off for 6 months 2mg- switched to clonazepam nov 2015- 2mg till Jan 2016 Zopiclone 7.5mg nov-dec 2015- was tapered off over 4weeks- Currently in protracted withdrawal. ???????????????????????????????? Update- ended up in the hospital April 18/16 major suicidal ( never had that before) was admitted/ been there ever since, put me back to full dose celexa 30mg no drugs added, IAM FINALLY STABLE AFTER 3 months of tortuous hell. Got a great physiatrist that new all about WD, he will help me taper properly in a couple of months at 5% deductions holding 8 weeks. I never want to relive that hell again. Udate- stable and holding, doing things slowly is key. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 I couldn't put up with that, I don't know how you are coping without his support. Ugh!! It's awesome your Dad gets it but that sucks he's so far away. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 There is no hope for me that I will get better... The depression is wearing me down now Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
AliG Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 Mapleleafgirl. If you could educate your family , it would be good , including your husband. Have you read " Anatomy of an Epidemic " ? I have had depression for over two years or more , on and off , with " windows & waves ". It does get better. It just takes a while . Unfortunately , telling yourself over and over , that there is no hope is not helpful for healing . If you could educate your husband , it would be positive. Having him tell you , that you're crazy is not helpful. Instead , you have to try to do the opposite. Tell yourself that you will heal , which you will , as everyone does at some point . It just takes time. I have learned to not put a time frame on this . It is what it is and you have to accept that , as I'm sure that you have, and if you can include your husband in this , it will go better. Some men are " resistant " , but you have to persevere. Just educate him . The depression can be " brutal " , but if you hang in there, it will recede, in time. You have to be patient. There is no other way . Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 I have tried over and over with my hubby he has no interest in knowing at all.. He says he is right about it all and I have gotten myself into this hole and the only way out is to be on medication... So I have no support and its stressing me out... I can't sleep ...eat... Go out... Do anything now for a long time I try to tell myself it will get better but it's not working... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 Mlg - Maybe try something natural like Jan suggested? Also your husband sounds EXACTLY like mine!!! He refuses to even talk to me about it anymore and refuses to read about any of it - Is your wave possibly depression? I mean a 4 year taper off a horrible medication? How can you tell the difference between depression and a wave? (I know for me my depression comes with a lot more thinking, waves have little mental components and just feelings out of the blue, also waves give me physical symptoms, perceptual problems and blurry visions and burning mouth) Wether it's a wave or actual depression so much can be done to improve yourself, but it takes time and endurance- you know all of this - and you know it won't be better tomorrow - it will take weeks and weeks m, all depression ends with or without medication, so do waves, but if it were me I would try some sjw or sam-e or something natural - but ask someone with experience how much and how often - I'm in a very similar situation as you - so you are not alone *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 22, 2016 Author Share Posted April 22, 2016 I haven't suffered from depression ever .. Until now.. I was on Paxil for anxiety which I had none of at all in the 20 months... So I am on a very tough spot right now ... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Jlynn Posted April 22, 2016 Share Posted April 22, 2016 I had a long discussion with my new doctor a couple of days ago about Paxil and tapering. My other doctor quit and I had to start all over with a new one. Surprisingly he was open and sympathetic to my plight. One thing he did say that I think could make some sense is, after being on a drug like Paxil for a long time there may be a risk that the brain chemistry is changed permanently and I needed to be open to the possibility that I might have issues after paxil that I never had before i.e. anxiety and depression. He was going to do some research on it and get back to me. I guess it kind of makes sense since the drug ruins lives so easily. He told me as I taper and get off I should be open to this possibility. Of course he suggested I be open to a smaller dose of a milder anti-depressant (told him NO) but also that I may have to deal with these issues with therapy and supplements like SJW. I would hope the brain can heal completely and the mods would know more but I does make a little sense that the drug could change things enough that there are issues that need to be dealt with. I am still praying for you and hoping each day brings you relief from all of this. You are so strong! 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Vonnegutjunky Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Jlynn- Maybe someone who has more knowledge about pharmacology can chime in here, but my understanding is that ssris are derivatives of opiates - That being said there are people who religiously use heroin and cocaine for decades, creating severe brain changes - and these people successfully quit the street drugs and live normal lives - so to me even if there are brain changes brought about by the meds, they can be reversed with time - Maybe this isn't true for everyone and maybe some of us will never be the same as we were pre meds, but we never will know unless we try - Mlg - if you have struggled with anxiety in the past, it's quite possible that with all of the issues with the meds, a progression of depression is normal ( it was for me, I never got on any meds until I was in my mid 30s, my anxiety ended up giving me depression) and that makes sense to me - after you having a pretty tough few years with not sleeping right, depression is kicking in- and it's normal, completely normal, and therapy really can help- no meds are needed - it seems anyone who has gone though the crap you went through with the meds would be a bit traumatized after the proverbial smoke settles - on the other hand I have read about so many people here having waves 18 months out, it also makes sense and no meds are needed and it will abate - like everyone else on here says it does Either way- wave or natural depression - both lie to you and make you feel it will never end - but we know that it does - and it will - and I think because a lot of us felt better after taking a pill, we never had to do the real work of getting to the bottom of why we took the pills to begin with - we all probably need a therapist, at least to address anxiety or stress - the real work after the pills will be so hard - is it worth it? I can't say- but I do know once the pills are gone does not mean we are in the clear - we will all need to heal from the trauma of the drugs then the original illness I hope this makes sense - I just read it and I don't know if my message is clear *Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) *No other supplements or vitamins *Taper schedule in the pdf Blank.pdf https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564 Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Bad day again massive suicidal thoughts.. They just won't go away and I am so scared right now.. I am desperate .. I cannot imagine these for months on end day after day.. I cannot live like this... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Hibari Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 Dear MapleGirl, I am very sorry you are feeling so bad and I wish I had an answer for you. It's so unfair you are going through this. I know when I have been in a state of depression, my mind feels like it is telling the truth but it is not. I know you have been given some suggestions and it's hard to take action when depression is so crippling. I just wanted to ask where you are at in terms of hormones? My hormones put me through the ringer and it was only when I started using some natural progesterone creme and some natural estrogen that some of my symptoms eased. I have discovered that when we are in extreme states of stress, we go through our progesterone really quickly. You don't even have to be in menopause or peri-menopause to experience huge swings in hormones. I know that medication and withdrawal have a big impact on the endocrine system. I don't want to overwhelm you at this time. Please know you are not alone and if you need to find some way to stabilize yourself, no one here will judge you for it. 9/2013-4/2014: After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro, Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs 1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs 7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021 Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize 10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6 6/16 3.4 6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7 7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0 9/5 1.8 9/16 1.6 9/30 1.4 10/13 1.2 10/26 1.0 11/9 0.8 11/22 0.6 12/6 0.4 12/23 0.2. 2024 1/4/24 Remeron/Mirtazapine free Additional Support: Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs, L-theanine Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Not sure what I could do to stabilize at this point Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Hibari Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I'm not sure either though others here may know more about post taper wd. I doing some limited supplements that my current psychiatrist recommended. L-Theanine 100-200mgs 3 x a day for the anxiety that kicks in when I am tapering both Remeron and Lamictal. Will be adding magnesium and Omega 3's to help my brain with inflammation. I have a friend who tapered very differently from you (rapid) after 20 years of Prozac this past September. Now, after 6 months of feeling good, she has felt really bad. She went for a physical and her new primary doctor, just learning of her AD history said, "Antidepressants take a long time to leave the body". She like you is doing nothing wrong, it's just that her body is going through some kind of deeper shift in wd. 9/2013-4/2014: After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro, Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs 1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs 7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021 Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize 10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6 6/16 3.4 6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7 7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0 9/5 1.8 9/16 1.6 9/30 1.4 10/13 1.2 10/26 1.0 11/9 0.8 11/22 0.6 12/6 0.4 12/23 0.2. 2024 1/4/24 Remeron/Mirtazapine free Additional Support: Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs, L-theanine Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 All I know is right now I am barely making it through each day... I could deal with some of the stuff but the suicidal ideation is what is making it unbareable as that is the last thing I want to do but the feelings are so real.. I have this rush feeling in my stomach as well like adrenalin rush that won't go awAy.. I have tried mediation .. Breathing exercises.. Sipping water with magnesium ect.. It's beyond frightening Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 MLG, I had 2 months straight of suicidal ideation and was in the darkest, deepest place I have ever been in my mind (now that was a very scary depressive episode). The good news is that it vanished along with all the other physical crap I was dealing with - yes, my most recent wave is over with! Just hoping now my TOTM happens without any funny stuff. Hugs, JC Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 Ian going on 23 days now of this... It's getting worse each day... The last thing I want to do is die... Doesn't help that I have zero support from my hubby.. He says I need to fight this and get on with my life... That its all in my head and to just make it go away... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted April 23, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 23, 2016 MLG - i can imagine that you must feel very desperate and I can relate to a lot of your symptoms - all of my depressions/withdrawal waves came on very suddenly like yours did - seemingly out of the blue. before i went on AD's my depressions started like that - one day everything was ticketyboo and the next bam and it just got worse and worse. looking back, i wonder if i might have handled things differently would it have been better? I worked in the mental health field as a nurse at the time - which probably made it worse because i was catastrophising my symptoms, concentrating on them, examining them every moment and projecting an outcome for them. one day i was talking to a colleague about how i was feeling and she said to me 'what are you going to do about it'? i think what she meant was i needed to take the bull by the horns and wrestle it down, take control and stop letting myself be sucked down by the whirlpool of negative thoughts. can you find a good cognitive therapist who can work through this with you, give you some strategies to help you combat the negative thoughts and SI (i had a good month of SI, it's what finally led me to AD's in the first place as it was so scary) There is a really good little book called Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig - i listened to him interviewed and he was very inspiring. He had crippling anxiety and depression and was very suicidal - it gives hope that people can recover without drugs. Sending you good thoughts that you may be able to separate these thoughts and feelings from reality Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I never felt like this in my life until this wave... It's beyond scary and I have to fight each day to keep myself alive... I am trying my best to distract myself but nothing is working at this point.. My hubby said he will be taking me to the hospital soon if I don't snap out of it .. I have always been a strong person but this is way beyond antlything I have experienced... My hubby and mother in law think more ADs are the answer and that right now I am beyond the point of no return Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
leahy Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 i feel minimally better..yesterday was a better day as i had a better sleep night before.. i have some of my appetite back..but the head thing is the one thing bugging me...the ONLY way i can really describe it is a hung over feeling..without ever drinking as i have not touched alcohol in over 10 years.....i had a sleep study years ago and do not have sleep apnea....The Sleep issue is a big one...and one of the last to heal...there are people i know past the two year mark off this stuff who still cannot sleep...so that is a very common thing... This is exactly how I describe my wd symptoms - like a really bad hangover even though I haven't had any alcohol. I haven't heard many other people describe their symptoms like I do. I think the headache and nausea is directly linked to loss of sleep - in my case anyway. Part of a hangover is due to the inability to sleep well. I think alcohol disrupts REM sleep. I wish I had answers for you. I hope you feel better soon. Last night when I woke up at 3 AM I almost gave up and got up for the day at 4 AM. Instead I put on a sleep hypnosis and after another hour actually fell asleep. Being able to sleep completely changed my day. 2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg 2015 Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April Rem 22.5, May Rem 30 xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 2016 Jan Rem 20 xanax 2, Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg Link to comment
leahy Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 MLG, I'm wondering if a low dose of Paxil would help you stabilize? 1 mg maybe? If that helps you would know it's wd. I have resigned myself to staying at my current low dose for as long as it takes me. I was honestly not functioning at all most days of the past 14 months. It seems unbearable it is to feel this bad for so many days and nights. Just a thought... Hugs, Leahy 2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg 2015 Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April Rem 22.5, May Rem 30 xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 2016 Jan Rem 20 xanax 2, Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I just need some relief... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
leahy Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I know you do, MapleleafGirl. Just some relief. I know. 2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg 2015 Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April Rem 22.5, May Rem 30 xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 2016 Jan Rem 20 xanax 2, Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg Link to comment
Hibari Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 I don't think you are beyond the point of no return, you just need some relief. From what I have read here you don't have to go all the way back up to where you were before in order to find relief if you decide you need to reinstate. Your body is so stressed and maybe a tiny reinstatement would help. Maybe there are others here who have done the same and can share there experience with you. 9/2013-4/2014: After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro, Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs 1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs 7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021 Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize 10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6 6/16 3.4 6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7 7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0 9/5 1.8 9/16 1.6 9/30 1.4 10/13 1.2 10/26 1.0 11/9 0.8 11/22 0.6 12/6 0.4 12/23 0.2. 2024 1/4/24 Remeron/Mirtazapine free Additional Support: Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs, L-theanine Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Just remember it's not all in your head...it's all in the rewiring of your brain and things need to settle. You'll be okay. You are strong. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 MLG - I have replied to your PM but I think removing the 'triggers' will help you. Having analysed this, mine are my mother (she winds me up and makes me angry) which is bad news for my state of mind. Also health anxiety (went to doctor got checked out in regards to physical symptoms which were scaring me at the time). The other biggie was starting to focus on stuff OUTSiDE of myself - getting out of my head and my metaphorical HOLE. This is the darkest and scariest place I have ever been. I know I do well keeping busy and so reducing the amount of WORRY time I have has been working. Hang in there MLG and I am sending you big hugs. JC Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
AliG Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 MapleleafGirl. You have so much support . We are all here , cheering you on . You deserve the best ! Hang in there. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 Trying to but after reading so much here I cannot see this ending anytime soon.. Could be years before I see any improvements Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Try not to dwell on other people's success and failures through all this and remember you are unique and your healing is unique. Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 Things are not getting any better. ... I have zero quality of life.. I cannot function at all.. I am beyond scared... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
AmyK Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Is there a friend you can talk to? Your dad? You will get thru this. You will get better. I know it's so hard... We are here for you. Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
MapleleafGirl Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 I just talked to my dad he said I need to do whatever I can to get my life back.. He said if it's meds then that is what I need to do.. He is scared too because I keep telling him I just don't want to live... My hubby said there is some med that will work and I just need to get my life back...! Everyone is freaked out right now.. I am freaked out... I am going back to the doctor tomorrow... Michele aka MapleLeafGirl Paxil Free Since June 1st 2014 Was on Paxil for 8.5 years on and off from 2001 Did a 4 year successful taper off 20mgs of Paxil My Successful Tapering Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7812-mapleleafgirl-successfully-tapered-off-paxil/ Tapering Schedule: 3rd attempt at withdrawal going slow..compounded pills05/27/2010 - 03/12/12: Tapered From 20mgs - 6.2 (2nd year into Taper)04/11/2012 - 6.0 - 3.4 - 05/05/2013 (Third year into Taper)06/04/2013 - 3.2 - 1.0 - 05/31/2014 (Fouth and Final Year of Taper) February 9th 2016 month 20 off paxil and four year taper..experiencing a horrible wave bad bad bad May 2016 Made the decision to go back on an SSRI - Currently on Escitalopram 10mgs but planning to taper at some point in the near future Link to comment
AmyK Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 How are your physical symptoms? Is it mostly deep depression? Freaking out is no good. Try to see this in a bigger perspective. This is weeks, months - in a whole long life. You will probably feel better soon. I hate to see you go back on meds. Try to find some space around you. I know it's hard when you have a family. But please trust the thought that you will feel better. I hope any of the mods will chime in. **Warm hug** Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
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