Tattyapple: what the heck is happening?

[Tattyapple]

Hi

Stumbled on this site after extensive research on the internet And hoping I can get some advise.

Iv been on ssri for 15 years, venlaflaxine for 5 [and] cold turkey that, which was tough but no one advised of slow tapers back then. [T]hen went straight on prozac and diazepam. [R]oll on ten years, had tapered diazepam to 1mg and felt great. o May last year decided to kick the prozac. I felt on a good place and for the last 2 years had only taken it every 3 days anyway as used to constantly forget. Can't honestly remember if I tapered or just stopped as life was good. [W]as busy with work and had none of the severe problems I had with venlaflaxine so just maybe went to every 4 days then stopped.

 

Roll on September this year and start to feel stressed anxious and generally short tempted all the time. [T]hen October: one day I wake up I think I have the flu [and] my chest hurts, my legs are jelly and I have a sense of panic. I find hard to put into words. I go to the doctors and get told I have a anxiety disorder. I have never been diagnosed with this and got originally put on medication for post natal depression. The dr gives me sertraline [and] I take one and 3 hrs later I'm practically pulling my hair out. I'm sitting in the corner crying laughing screaming and banging my head on the wall. I stop taking and it calms slightly in about 3-4 hrs but I still have the complete and utter sense of panic, a feeling like I can't stand to be in my own skin one more second.

 

Since then I have seen 3 psychiatrists and been given 3 different diagnosis, none of them will listen to my sense of panic. [A]t times I have begged my partner to let me die as I could not see this ever ending. [O]n days that this eases slightly, I sob at the thought of leaving my children and family. [J]ust 6 months ago I was running marathons, working and doing normal everyday things. I find it very hard to sit [and] I feel a restlessness I cannot explain, like I'm being tortured from the inside out. [M]y dr says this is psychological and I need to [take] mirtrazapine but something is telling me not to take them.

Edited January 8, 2015 by cymbaltawithdrawal5600
added line breaks and punctuation for readability

[ten0275]

i read this and it is like reading my own story of going on 3 years ago in so many ways. marathoner, office man, father, etc. then WHAMMO... welcome to the world of tolerance/withdrawal - most likely benzo and AD tolerance/withdrawal. i am glad you found the site. you'll find a lot of support here. have much hope. hang in there. dave

[Wildflower0214]

Hey there,

 

So sorry for your suffering. Someone will be along to help you soon. It sounds as if you are going through a withdrawal. Unfortunately, your story sounds all too familiar. It is not a unique experience around here. You are not alone. hang in there.

[rapunzel2]

so sorry for what has happened to you it's definitely withdrawal, and the restlessness that you describe sounds exactly like akathisia.

[dalsaan]

Hi tattyapple,

 

Welcome to the forum. Sorry for your suffering. It does sound like a delayed onset of withdrawal and then a bad reaction to the sertraline. Unfortunately, this is not unheard of. Many people here find themselves highly sensitive to psychotropic medication after they have come off and experienced withdrawal.

 

If it was me and I had that reaction I wouldn't take any other psych medication. I would explore alternatives like fish oil and magnesium. Start slowly with these too (ie a very low dose, below the recommended dose) and build up if you don't have a bad reaction. Although they are generally well tolerated, people with sensitised nervous symptoms can react to anything. You might also was to explore our symptoms forum.

 

Dalsaan

[chicken]

Tatty,

Welcome to the forum.

 

I find this alarming as this is exactly the delayed onset akathesia that Dr. Shipko speaks of. It seems to reaffirm the slow taper method. It appears that you are too far out to reinstate. The magnesium may be answer. It has helped me.

[Addax]

Hi tattyapple.

 

I am very sorry you,'re going through what you're going through. You've come to the right place. What you describe absolutely sounds like late onset withdrawal symptoms. It's happened to me and it's horrible. In fact if you read other people's stories you'll find there are a lot of similar stories. That feeling of wanting to scream and come out of your skin sounds like Akathisia. its not psychological, it's iatrogenic, and it's horrible. People also end up with "new" diagnosis when going through withdrawal. I was also diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder during withdrawal. I hadn't ever been diagnosed with it before. In fact, I had never been diagnosed with a mood disorder either.

 

I recently had a bad episode of withdrawal symptoms and found Magnisium helpful with the anxiety and panic. A recent research artical suggested a prebiotic might be helpful as well. Here are links to bothe these discussions here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7721-schmidt-2014-prebiotic-intake-reduces-the-waking-cortisol-response-and-alters-emotional-bias-in-healthy-volunteers/

 

Also look under the " symptoms and selfcare" topic: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

 

So that the administrators and moderators and others here can provide better guidance and suggestions, could you provide more information about your medication? When was the last time you took an SSRI? creating a signature (see link provided) is helpful. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

You'll get through this. It doesn't feel like you will, but you will.

[Tattyapple]

Thank you for all your help

 

The last time I took a ssri was 10 weeks ago I took one 50mg sertraline, then a few days later took 1 20mg prozac, they both ramped my anxiety through the roof so stopped. Previous to this I took 37.5mg of venlaflaxine from 1999 to 2004 then 20mg of prozac daily for a year or so then intermittently for the next 9 years so I would regularly only take one every 3 or 4 days. I have also taken benzodiazepines for 10 years never high doses and I'm currently taking 1mg a day.

 

Iv read some pretty scary reports about delayed ssri withdrawal. That it may be indefinite, Do most people recover ?

 

Thank you for your support

[luv2knit]

Welcome Tattyapple. I'm not really one to advise, as I am fairly new myself. I am almost 6 months off Zoloft after a too-fast taper, and I had a delayed reaction as well. My symptoms (including akathisia) did not start until I had been off a month. I think you will find this is not unusual, and from what I have seen, most everyone does eventually recover. It can be a long, slow process. Sending you healing thoughts!

[chicken]

Thank you for all your help

 

The last time I took a ssri was 10 weeks ago I took one 50mg sertraline, then a few days later took 1 20mg prozac, they both ramped my anxiety through the roof so stopped. Previous to this I took 37.5mg of venlaflaxine from 1999 to 2004 then 20mg of prozac daily for a year or so then intermittently for the next 9 years so I would regularly only take one every 3 or 4 days. I have also taken benzodiazepines for 10 years never high doses and I'm currently taking 1mg a day.

 

Iv read some pretty scary reports about delayed ssri withdrawal. That it may be indefinite, Do most people recover ?

 

Thank you for your support

is the 1 mg benzo you are taking helping any?

[Tattyapple]

No I think that is causing my problems or at least making them worse

[Tattyapple]

Hi

 

I stopped prozac after 15 years of ssri use in May last year. I did not get really ill until October 2014 but I have also been tapering diazepam so I don't know which drug is causing these horrible symptoms. I make my mind up about one then read something that changes my mind. The thing is it does not really make that much difference unless it's the prozac as I'm wondering if it's too late to re start it at a low dose. Any advise would be very welcome

[Petunia]

Hi Tattyapple,

 

I merged your new post with your original intro topic, its one introduction thread per member.  You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want.

 

Perhaps you could stop tapering the diazepam for now and give your nervous system a chance to settle down.  You have been on these drugs for a long time and stopped them much too fast, its not surprising that you are having symptoms. 

 

Here is a link to a post made by Rhi on someone elses thread, it may help explain what is happening and why you are feeling the way you are:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6655-dignan-pre-work-for-an-eventual-taper-attempt/?p=98469

 

take note of the part in italics

 

This topic may also help:

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

[ten0275]

T.A., hey.

 

How are you doing w/ your diazepam taper? How are your symptoms?

 

Thinking about you.

 

Hang in there.

 

Dave

[Tattyapple]

Hey

 

So I'm completely of diazepam as off March 1st.. My main symptom is crushing depression and insomnia. I also get cortisol rushes am and sometimes at night also. I have found that I get 1 or 2 days in the middle of my menstrual cycle where my mood is somewhat lighter but it never lasts more than 2 days. It very tough on my partner as those two days we cherish make plans go for a evening meal, only to be completely debilitated within another day or so. Should I be asking my Dr for hormonal tests ? I also find a shake a lot but it feels internal rather than visible.

 

I also find more sleep means more symptoms which I find bizarre.

 

Xx

[ten0275]

T.A., hey.

 

i'm really happy to hear from you. off the diazepam altogether - wow. it sounds like you are experiencing very typical benzo withdrawal symptoms, but holding up well considering. it truly does.

 

it'd be cool for some of the ladies to weigh in on your hormonal test question, but i will say that i found most tests of that type that i undertook - cortisol, adrenal, etc - to be generally a waste of time and money during withdrawal. your system as a whole is not acting by standard operating procedures, so whatever the tests read currently are likely to be moot post-withdrawal anyway. does that make sense? but it would be cool to hear a female perspective on this as i know cyclical hormone fluctuations come very much into play when symptoms are intense.

 

thanks for checking in and i hope you'll continue to do so as you see fit.

 

hang in there!

 

dave

[Tattyapple]

Hey Dave

 

Thank you. I would be interested to hear from ladies that can relate to the hormonal issue. My worry is the depression and total inability to enjoy anything maybe with the exception of the couple of days mid month. Also the inner tremble can be very distressing and at night I often feel unable to fill my lungs with enough air, it is like 70% of my lung capacity and that is it. Strange feeling.

 

Thanks again

 

TA

[Petunia]

Hi TA,

 

If you wanted to go to your doctor for some tests, to ease your mind, then you could do that, but I tend to agree with what Dave has written.

 

It sounds to me like you have typical protracted withdrawal syndrome.  If you're getting a couple of good days a month, a regular window, that's good, its quite possible its triggered by hormonal fluctuations.  Many woman in withdrawal tend to get worse withdrawal symptoms at certain times in the cycle, you feel better in the middle of your cycle, that sounds about right.

 

This topic may be helpful:

 

Menstrual/hormonal/female problems during withdrawal

[Tattyapple]

Hey Petunia

 

Thank you, I think I will not bother with the tests.

 

It literally only last 1-2 days and is then bang switched off and it was only last month I put the connection together. I'm still regular as clockwork, it seems it is the ovulation that sparks a couple of improved days. Thank again x

[Tattyapple]

Hey.

 

I have an operation coming up,a laparoscopy. I wondered what I should be asking the anesthetist for drugs wise to minimise the chance of causing me more issues. Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Tattyapple]

Does anymore have any experience of general anaesthetic please

[Tattyapple]

I am trying very hard to reinstate Prozac, after well over 3 years off the drug  I know this is risky but I'm desperate and have been waiting so long for wellness that I just feel is not going to come. I did get a little relief from clonidine last year but had to stop it due to low blood pressure. 

I'm currently on 3mg of Prozep liquid if I go to 5mg I feel the horrible anxiety building up. Iv been offered Diaz to help but I really don't want to get back on that roundabout as I took it for many years and have not touched any in almost 3 years. 

My gp is very patient and understanding but obviously cannot help. 

Any ideas would be very gratefully received, Iv not seen any light in a long long time 

[Tattyapple]

I was asked for an update by email.

 

over 5 years of and worse now that year 2

 

costant muscle stiffness in the neck from akathesia And tinnitus, chronic fatigue, memory problems, bad depression. 

 

Cannot tolerate Prozac. My only hope is my system will eventually settle enough to go back to a antidepressant. Life is beyond difficult 

[Altostrata]

Hello, Tattyapple.

 

Very sorry that you're still suffering. Aside from the muscle stiffness, what does the akathisia feel like?

 

Are you still taking diazepam?

 

Can you handle fish oil and magnesium? A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

[Tattyapple]

Hello Alto 

 

The akathesia is a constant feeling of unease, can’t settle properly In any situation. A fast feeling that I can’t fully explain. 

 

I take magnesium and I take vit d will try the fish oil thank you 

 

 

[Tattyapple]

I don’t take diazepam anymore just propranolol 

[Tattyapple]

It’s been nearly 5 years since I stopped Prozac and I honestly think I’m not going to recover

my brain is still as stimulated and hyper alert as it was 4 years ago. I still have chronic insomnia and still get morning cortisol rushes.

i had and was diagnosed with Akathesia even though it took along time for drs to agree. The muscles in my neck stiffened up solid and have never relaxed meaning I have constant pain . I have constant tinnitus, regular vertigo and many more. 

Anxiety is very high and depression deep.

 

i want back on drugs. Nobody that has watched a love one suffer for so long  or has suffered like i have would judge me for that. 

 

Iv forgotten what it’s like to wake up without a migraine and get up and enjoy the day.  I live without peace. 

 

I don’t want much just the ability to to live with some level of peace and to function on some level so I can work and enjoy a little of life.  I don’t want everything to be hard anymore.i don’t want to hurt my family anymore  It’s torture living like this.

 

i know this isn’t the site to get help getting back on drugs and I respect that but I would be very interested if anyone with such a sensitive nervous system as mine has managed to return to medication after so long. If so please PM me, like I say I respect it cannot be discussed on the main  site. Thank you 

[ChessieCat]

If you do decide to start a psychiatric drug please start with a very low dose and increase slowly by small amounts.

[eymen23]

Hi Tattyapple,

 

I’m sorry to hear you’ve suffered for so long. Have you found that there have been easier periods where symptoms have lessened or disappeared completely, or has it been a gradual worsening over the last couple of years? 

[Tattyapple]

Hi. Things have remained very static for the last 2 or 3 years. Iv never really had windows each day varies between difficult and impossible but I have had periods when things have been a little less intense but never ever symptom free. 

 

I need a lot of help to get motivated to do anything at all even simple things like eating and basic tasks. I have no desire to do anything but doing nothing makes me very unhappy. I think that will make sense to depressed people. 

 

The dizziness, weakness and head pressure and pain are very distressing. I often get so fatigued that I panic. 

 

Insomnia is is also a huge problem. I would say I averaged 10 hrs when on Prozac I struggle to go 2 hrs without waking and still have nights of no sleep or 2-3 hrs. 

[eymen23]

Hi TA,

 

Thanks for responding. 2-3 years is a long time to suffer from such difficult withdrawal symptoms, you’re very brave and persistent to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Of course the biggest risk with going back on psychiatric drugs is that you could have an adverse reaction and feel worse, due to a sensitised nervous system. Hence it’s very important to follow Chessie’s advice. May I suggest the following, assuming you’re thinking of resinstating Prozac. 

 

1) Start on a very small dose. Much smaller than is recommended by the average psychiatrist. Perhaps 0.25mg to be on the safe side. Certainly no more than 0.5mg. 

 

2) Prozac has a long half life, so please make sure you keep detailed notes and wait at least three weeks before considering another small updose. Many sources online say it can take a full month to reach a steady state of Prozac, so that may be a more prudent waiting period. 

 

3) I see that you previously took Prozac once every 3-4 days. Please don’t do that again. Your nervous system will much prefer consistent and stable dosing. Take your dose at the same time every single day. 

 

4) As you will be starting with such a small dose and your nervous system is still destabilised, it’s essential that you get the daily dose as accurate as possible. I would suggest using liquid for this. I use the dry tapering method and I wouldn’t personally opt for that if using very low doses. In my opinion, there’s too much risk of innaccuacy for somebody in your shoes.

 

I hope the above is helpful. I just wanted to note that recovery taking longer than 2-3 years is not unheard of. Especially for long term users of psychiatric drugs, or those who used more than one drug. It could of taken you several years to slowly taper off of both Prozac and diazepam, given it’s advised to taper one at a time and stabilise before tapering the second drug. I’m just trying to highlight that you may still recover if you choose to stay off the drugs. 

 

@btdt documented a longer term pattern of improvement following a cold turkey. I respect you’re currently in a very difficult position and I wish you luck with whichever path forward you choose. 

 

[Tattyapple]

Thank you eyman. It’s been almost 5 years it’s just been stagnant for the last 2-3. 

 

I cant renistnate Prozac as I tried last year and the akathesia got much worse.

 

im thinking trazadone or lamotrgiene but unsure yet. 

 

I take propranolol but don’t feel I get much relief 

 

thank you for the info I will read carefully what you have wrote 

[eymen23]

HI TA,

 

In that case, I would recommend reading the information provided by Alto below. She used small doses of Lamotrigine to assist with her long term protracted withdrawal symptoms.

 

[Altostrata]

On 1/18/2019 at 1:06 PM, Tattyapple said:

I don’t take diazepam anymore just propranolol 

 

TA, when and how did you stop diazepam? Is that when your bad symptoms started?

 

6 hours ago, Tattyapple said:

I cant renistnate Prozac as I tried last year and the akathesia got much worse.

 

How much Prozac did you take? People who have gone on and off psychiatric drugs often have hypersensitive reactions to drugs and sometimes supplements and foods. Too high a reinstatement can cause kindling of symptoms.

 

As eymen noted, a very low dose of lamotrigine, such as 0.25-0.5mg to start, might help.

[Tattyapple]

No the bad symptoms started 4 months after  stopping Prozac. I tapered Diaz over 3. Years and stopped about 4 years ago I had no extra symptoms at all. I know it it the Prozac that caused the problems.

thank you 

[Tattyapple]

I do take zoplicone maybe once a fortnight . I only need half a 3.75 tablet to get me to sleep for a few hrs.  The insomnia is brutal. My brain just won’t be quiet since Prozac. 

 

When I tried Prozac I only took 5mg for 4 days and it made me much more agitated and depressed.

 

i have always had problems with mental health, I had anorexia as a teen and anxiety followed. Prozac gave me a near normal life for over ten years. It was bliss and extremely good for my health as I exercised daily, socialised, ate healthy and slept very well all things I cannot do now. I worry allot about the long term health implications of withdrawal. I regret every day that I chose to come off  Prozac but I try not to beat myself up too much.

 

i have 5mg lamotrgiene tablets so will try a  very low dose and see how it goes