Cheeky: on Paxil for 23 years needing advice

[Carmie]

Hi Cheeky, 

 

I hope you coped okay at work today. 
 

I’m not much help with the PMS and menstrual problem advice. I’m too old😂😂 I’ll be sixty in a few years. 
 

Take care🤗

[Cheeky]

1 minute ago, Carmie said:

Hi Cheeky, 

 

I hope you coped okay at work today. 
 

I’m not much help with the PMS and menstrual problem advice. I’m too old😂😂 I’ll be sixty in a few years. 
 

Take care🤗

Thanks @carmie,

today I felt fine, yesterday I was an emotional anxious mess. Windows and waves I suppose or I’m just going crazy. I’m 45 so I have a lot to lol forward to. You take care my friend x

[Carmie]

7 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Thanks @carmie,

today I felt fine, yesterday I was an emotional anxious mess. Windows and waves I suppose or I’m just going crazy. I’m 45 so I have a lot to lol forward to. You take care my friend x

I’m glad you had a better day Cheeky, 

 

I think we’re all a bit crazy in this journey with our rollercoaster of emotions🤪😂🧡

[Cheeky]

Okay so yesterday was a great day with relief and today hard again with aniexty. I have noticed a pattern though , when I have a bad night sleep and keep waking the next day is usually a wave again. This is really disheartening and I know I’m getting my periods tomorrow and I think that plays apart to this . I just am worried that these drugs have caused damages and I will never get stability again on a constant basis. How will I ever taper the rest of my drugs if I still feel unstable. I’m really doubting  everything..

[Greatful]

@Cheeky  

9 hours ago, Cheeky said:

. I just am worried that these drugs have caused damages and I will never get stability again on a constant basis. How will I ever taper the rest of my drugs if I still feel unstable. I’m really doubting  everything..

I hear you on this.  I have to work on staying the course.  I can do this one day then the next I can't think straight, blah blah blah.  Some days I can do things the next day any type of activity makes me over sensitized. 

I think you can safely say most of us have these thoughts and get scared.  My goodness we are only human and with brains that are not working right.  Be kind to yourself.❤️ We have put in some much already let's just keep walking  forward and see where it takes us.🚶‍♀️ We can be stronger if we lean on each other...🤗

 

Hang on to the better days and  just get through the hard days on day at a time.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times that is all I can tell myself, just get through the day.

 

How is work going?  When can you slow down?

 

As for the periods, I can't help you there.   I can say that even in menopause the mood still  swing a little. 

Hugs 🤗 

[Cheeky]

6 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Cheeky  

I hear you on this.  I have to work on staying the course.  I can do this one day then the next I can't think straight, blah blah blah.  Some days I can do things the next day any type of activity makes me over sensitized. 

I think you can safely say most of us have these thoughts and get scared.  My goodness we are only human and with brains that are not working right.  Be kind to yourself.❤️ We have put in some much already let's just keep walking  forward and see where it takes us.🚶‍♀️ We can be stronger if we lean on each other...🤗

 

Hang on to the better days and  just get through the hard days on day at a time.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times that is all I can tell myself, just get through the day.

 

How is work going?  When can you slow down?

 

As for the periods, I can't help you there.   I can say that even in menopause the mood still  swing a little. 

Hugs 🤗 

I have a really busy week this week, but I feel I’m better when busy as it distracts myself from the feelings I get. 
I can only Focus on the day and try to do the best I can. I just feel like these drugs have taken so much from me and it really hurts not being able to be reliable  as I never know what tomorrow brings. 
 

[Cheeky]

Ok here goes ………

I’m still in this wave and I’m starting to get worried, I really don’t understand this and it’s so hard pretending to people I’m okay when deep down I’m dying 😵 just over this. I have to keep it together.

[ChessieCat]

Um, you don't understand it?!?!?

 

You have just spent 4 months in lockdown and you've just returned to busy full time work in a stressful situation due to only vaxxed people being allow to have haircuts.

[Greatful]

@Cheeky

Oh Cheeky,  I bet you are getting over stimulated with all the talking in the salon, do you have music on? Plus all the other noise, hair dryer, etc.  How much longer do you have to work full time?  I know on some days if I do to much and don't listen to my body telling me that I am getting over stimulate I start to crash.  You know you were heading in the right direction, but the change in your schedule and the extra stimulation may be taking it's toll.

 

By the way who is Dr White that you and overwhelmelady were talking about?

 

Hang in there.❤️

 

 

 

[Cheeky]

5 hours ago, Greatful said:

@Cheeky

Oh Cheeky,  I bet you are getting over stimulated with all the talking in the salon, do you have music on? Plus all the other noise, hair dryer, etc.  How much longer do you have to work full time?  I know on some days if I do to much and don't listen to my body telling me that I am getting over stimulate I start to crash.  You know you were heading in the right direction, but the change in your schedule and the extra stimulation may be taking it's toll.

 

By the way who is Dr White that you and overwhelmelady were talking about?

 

Hang in there.❤️

 

 

 

Hi @Greatful,

I’m home today with a stomach virus, I’ve been up all night with stomach pains, not at work today , going to see a doctor soon. 
I know too well that this stress of going back to work and the pressure of being so busy is taking it’s toll. What I don’t understand is since my last taper problem I seem to be having problems and not stabilising like I did with all the other tappers I did. In the past I would drop by 1 mg feel the effects 3 weeks after and would only feel bad for a week or so. I feel like because I dropped too much last time by 3.5mg I crashed and felt relived after the updose of 1mg and was great for one month now I’m not as bad as I was before the 1mg updose but I’m still having waves and windows. Could my CNS be extra sensitive and that’s why going back to work and working with stress is making the things worse. 
This really is roller coaster   of emotions.,

Dr Ed White was a man who did a lot for our community in support when he has been going through his own battles coming of these drugs. 
It was so triggering to read and sent me into a panic 😱 

Anyway I just hate the unpredictablity of these drugs. 
One minute your hopeful the next I’m frightened. 
 

[Cheeky]

20 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Um, you don't understand it?!?!?

 

You have just spent 4 months in lockdown and you've just returned to busy full time work in a stressful situation due to only vaxxed people being allow to have haircuts.

Yes I get that but stress never seemed to be a problem before while I was tapering. It’s only been like this since I went down in my medication by too much on my last drops.

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @Greatful I can suggest  following Dr Joanna Moncrieff,a psychiatrist ,on Twitter.There is a group of psychiatrists and doctors in the UK who are working hard to visualize withdrawal problems.If you check her account and videos online you will see that she just posted a link to an article which appeared in the daily mail UK, which acknowledges all these withdrawal problems we are all suffering from.She is great,worth listening to her.

[Cheeky]

Update……..

So unfortunately I’m still getting waves and windows and there seems to be no pattern at all. I’m struggling since I did that big drop from 18.5mg to 15mg of Seroquel , I got relief for a month when I updosed  to 16mg but for the last few weeks it been all over the place with different symptoms. I feel like I need to talk to someone so I booked a session with Michael Priebe . I have watched his YouTube videos and he understands what we’re all going through as his gone off Paxil and a Benzo and has survived. I really hope I can get something out of it. 
I bought myself a Journal and decide to document everything to see if I can see some sort of pattern and to remember what I’ve done , my memory is all over the place. When I’m in a wave it feels like it’s permanent and then when in a window it feel like it never happened. My life is like a light bulb 💡 one minute I see the light the next I’m all blacked out feeling desperate. I’m so tired  of this 😟

 

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @CheekyI am sorry that you are feeling unwell but I think it's a good idea to book the session.Whatever resource is available that might bring you some relief is positive.I haven't heard of Priebe.Could you post a link to the video you made reference to or else his website in case he has one ? I am also a paxil survivor and though I am not ok at least I can say that I am still alive and struggling considering I went cold turkey. The light bulb in my case is rather dim at best so hold on ,at some point things will get better.

[Cheeky]

2 hours ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Hi @CheekyI am sorry that you are feeling unwell but I think it's a good idea to book the session.Whatever resource is available that might bring you some relief is positive.I haven't heard of Priebe.Could you post a link to the video you made reference to or else his website in case he has one ? I am also a paxil survivor and though I am not ok at least I can say that I am still alive and struggling considering I went cold turkey. The light bulb in my case is rather dim at best so hold on ,at some point things will get better.

Hi @Overwhelmedlady

I am so sorry you had to CT of Paxil. They did that to me 6 years ago and it was the worst thing I’ve ever been through . You are definitely a survivor and will heal in time .

https://www.lovelygrind.com/
This is the website I got the info from. I think having as much support as possible is important in this process. 
Thanks for coming past 😍

[Overwhelmedlady]

Hi @CheekyI have just found it.Thank you for the link.Wishing you a good week ahead.

[Cheeky]

11 hours ago, Overwhelmedlady said:

Hi @CheekyI have just found it.Thank you for the link.Wishing you a good week ahead.

You too x

[Cheeky]

Okay update……

so today has been the best day so far, little Aniexty in the morning and blocked ears all day but felt back to myself. I’m to scared to go to bed as I don’t want to wake up to a bad day again. I really hope this continues.

[Greatful]

@Cheeky

It is nice to get a break in the craziness.  

You will have to let me know how the session goes with Michael P.  

4 hours ago, Cheeky said:

blocked ears

Do you get noise sensitivity with this?

On 10/24/2021 at 3:58 AM, Cheeky said:

my memory is all over the place.

Oh my gosh, my memory has been is like thinking back in a fog.  I can hardly remember Saturday.   I mean I really have to think about the past days to recall much.  There are like blank spots  or real fuzzy spots.

 

How is work going?❤️

[Cheeky]

13 hours ago, Greatful said:

18 hours ago, Cheeky said:

 

Do you get noise sensitivity with this

Yes I do when it’s bad even bright light effects me.

[Cheeky]

13 hours ago, Greatful said:

h my gosh, my memory has been is like thinking back in a fog.  I can hardly remember Saturday.   I mean I really have to think about the past days to recall much.  There are like blank spots  or real fuzzy spots.

I feel like my brain isn’t working and get easily confused

[Cheeky]

13 hours ago, Greatful said:

ow is work going?❤️

Work is good because it distracts me of my symptoms

[Cheeky]

Okay update….

I had an hour session with Michael Priebe today and it went well. Most of the time I was talking about myself and my situation with these drugs and it was nice to be validated. I will continue to have monthly sessions with him becouse it’s nice to have support. I thought you might want to know @Greatful @Overwhelmedlady

 

[Rosetta]

On 10/25/2021 at 1:55 AM, Cheeky said:

I’m to scared to go to bed as I don’t want to wake up to a bad day again.

I relate to this.  I had forgotten that particular fear.   Someday you will, too!

[Cheeky]

15 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I relate to this.  I had forgotten that particular fear.   Someday you will, too!

@Rosetta did you ever have live frequent urinary problems in withdrawal. I feel like especially in the mornings I have pressure down there and it feel like I have a UTI coming on but that doesn't happen .

[Greatful]

@Cheeky

What all did Michael say to you?  How do you think he can help?  I am eagerly waiting to see how it goes.

57 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

I have pressure down there and it feel like I have a UTI coming on but that doesn't happen .

I have this once in awhile.  It sounds like this is another one of the wonderful W/D gifts that just keeps giving.  Some times frequent urination too.  I wonder if this is all from the ssri's I would go through frequent urination for years.  I always thought it had to do with hormonal cycling.  

 

I think Jadenatalie is experiencing similar issues.  

 

Hugs to you🤗

[Carmie]

Hi Cheeky, 

 

Just thought I’d pop in to let you know I’m thinking of you. I hope that you’re coping okay today. 
 

I’m glad to hear that you felt validated and supported in your journey by the session you had. It’s certainly not a fun journey. I find that this site is very validating, as everyone on here is or has gone through WDs. 
 

People who haven’t gone through this definitely wouldn’t understand what it’s like. It’s something that’s hard to explain. Though I guess that’s with any illness or anything that affects our minds and bodies. Unless someone experiences it it hard to just imagine what someone is going through. 
 

I hope you have a happy day☀️

[Rosetta]

7 hours ago, Cheeky said:

@Rosetta did you ever have live frequent urinary problems in withdrawal. I feel like especially in the mornings I have pressure down there and it feel like I have a UTI coming on but that doesn't happen .

Yes, sometimes I did.  I hope it goes away soon.  I think it happens to me now, too,  at times, but I have had a baby and was in labor for 32 hours.  Everything’s a little different since then.  I usually drink a lot of water, and it clears up.  Who knows if the nervous system rights itself or if I have staved off an infection by drinking water.

[Cheeky]

3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Yes, sometimes I did.  I hope it goes away soon.  I think it happens to me now, too,  at times, but I have had a baby and was in labor for 32 hours.  Everything’s a little different since then.  I usually drink a lot of water, and it clears up.  Who knows if the nervous system rights itself or if I have staved off an infection by drinking water.

Thanks , I really hope it does for both of us.

[Cheeky]

9 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi Cheeky, 

 

Just thought I’d pop in to let you know I’m thinking of you. I hope that you’re coping okay today. 
 

I’m glad to hear that you felt validated and supported in your journey by the session you had. It’s certainly not a fun journey. I find that this site is very validating, as everyone on here is or has gone through WDs. 
 

People who haven’t gone through this definitely wouldn’t understand what it’s like. It’s something that’s hard to explain. Though I guess that’s with any illness or anything that affects our minds and bodies. Unless someone experiences it it hard to just imagine what someone is going through. 
 

I hope you have a happy day☀️

Thanks @Carmie,

it’s been a difficult day and I tend to worry about everything at the moment. I just wish this never happened to me. 

[Greatful]

@Cheeky

3 hours ago, Cheeky said:

it’s been a difficult day and I tend to worry about everything at the moment. I just wish this never happened to me. 

I am so sorry Cheeky.  I can relate to this.  I think the ups and downs can be so tiring.  The last few days I have a hard time reading the forums and retaining the things I've read. 

 

You are amazing and stronger then you think, back to work full time and raising a young family.‼️

 I hope that you get some encouragement from Michael P.  

[Cheeky]

Okay update …….

So my I have been feeling okay mentally just depressed and very low mood. I’ve had this awful feeling of having to urinate all the time and it feels like I’m coming down with a UTI but it doesn’t evoke to that. It’s like my nerves down there are sensitive ( sorry for the gory details ) I’ve been reading up on people who get PGAD that are caused by antidepressants and Seroquel type drugs and this really worries me.  
Has anybody know off anyone that has had this.  @getofflex@ChessieCat@Colonial

[getofflex]

@cheeky I didn't have this symptom, so I can't speak to it.  You can try doing these google searches: 

 

"survivingantidepressants.org PGAD" 

"survivingantidepressants.org UTI" 

"survivingantidepressants.org urinary" 

 

etcetera.  

[Rosetta]

((Cheeky)) I’m sorry you are feeling so crummy.  It does get overwhelming sometimes.

 

Rosetta

[Colonial]

Since this is an issue of the nerve endings it's probably related to the chronic stress of both going to work and or the vaccinations.  Other non wd vaxxine recipients patients are reporting like issues for a time, but so many wd people do as well, so either way its from the stress on the nervous system thats destabilized for any host of reasons.  

Feel better soon!

[Cheeky]

20 hours ago, Colonial said:

Since this is an issue of the nerve endings it's probably related to the chronic stress of both going to work and or the vaccinations.  Other non wd vaxxine recipients patients are reporting like issues for a time, but so many wd people do as well, so either way its from the stress on the nervous system thats destabilized for any host of reasons.  

Feel better soon!

Thanks @Colonial

its not all the time but I feel like I have to go to the toilet all the time. I really hope it goes .