☼ Martina23: Lyrica

[Martina23]

38 minutes ago, Iatrogenesis said:

Well, except maybe I get too irritable at times, but maybe that's because I haven't been able to sleep well for over a year now. Hahahahaha. When I'm done, I'm going to get a good night's sleep. Ahhhhhh!

 

No, I'm joking a bit, lately it's really improved. I can finally sleep a lot, most of the days of the week.

Ok, I just thought because you wrote that "you deal with too much messed stuff on daily basis, so I thought you have some symptoms. But it is ok. Never mind.

[Iatrogenesis]

Ahhh, no. I deal with too much messed up stuff that happens in the world. I probably am not that much of an escapist.

[Carmie]

Hi Martina, 

 

I hope you have an amazing holiday. It’s nice to get away. I love new adventures n seeing new places. I enjoyed a holiday down near the beach recently. I hope you manage to enjoy some beautiful nature too. 

 

I find when im in windows it’s nice to make happy memories. Even when in a wave, as long as it isn’t too intense where I can barely move, I still find going to new surroundings lifts my spirits. I’m an explorer in my heart. 

 

Have fun. 

 

Sending hugs 🤗

[Martina23]

When we still go next time for holiday in Oktober (and if we still have some money) I decided that we would go for holiday to Venezia.

 

There is such a nice song about Venezia:

 

Beautiful is Neapol

Beautiful when the sun rises

Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia.

[Martina23]

We have already first weird moment in the hotel behind us. My son Benny so long pretended that his plate became glued to his T- shirt (that he can not bring it unstuck) that he broke the plate. I had again to apologize everywhere.

[Martina23]

Oh, I had again intrusive thoughts. 3 years out and they are still not totally away.

[Martina23]

Sometimes when I see other artists paint, I feel very unsure about my own art.

 

But there is sometimes even very bad art and sometimes these people  are successful because of good marketing. I guess the right way is not to take care what other people  do, only what I do. I had again in the night dreams how I am suing the doctors  because of Lyrica.

[Martina23]

Today I again spoke with one judge here in Austria. I was called the "person who doesnt know what she wants, then she told me that if doctors said it is my illness, than you can forget it, basically what I am bothering her with my call and questions. I can not anymore. Here is noone really working, everyone looks at you from up to down, everyone wants only to shout at you.

 

I think I have to go away from this country. Because here I would lose my ideals.

 

I ask myself where is God? Because he should be on our side, when he sees it. Please when there is some God, then he should help us.

 

 

[Iatrogenesis]

I'm sorry about your experience, Martina. The government is no doubt a place where you can find people with limited horizons and a narrow-minded mindset. I wonder though, is Austria really special in this regard? I could imagine a reaction like this from a Polish civil servant as well. Or maybe it's the other way around? What country would you like to move to where the people in power are more open-minded and idealistic?

 

I think it's good to put things into perspective, too, as much as possible. Just in general. It's healthy and can make one feel so much better about things.

[Martina23]

6 hours ago, Iatrogenesis said:

I'm sorry about your experience, Martina. The government is no doubt a place where you can find people with limited horizons and a narrow-minded mindset. I wonder though, is Austria really special in this regard? I could imagine a reaction like this from a Polish civil servant as well. Or maybe it's the other way around? What country would you like to move to where the people in power are more open-minded and idealistic?

 

I think it's good to put things into perspective, too, as much as possible. Just in general. It's healthy and can make one feel so much better about things.

Iatrogenesis, thank you that you wrote me. I really think Austrian are special in unpoliteness. There was one query and Austrians were the second most unpolite people on the world (after Kuwait). 

 

I dont know where I will go. I just want go. I have such s trauma from this withdrawal from Lyrica and here just they took a doctor - "so called medical expert" who didnt know anything who said there is no withdrawal, there is only my illness. I would let just these experts taste their own medicine, they should go to the prison.

 

But I have to calm down again. How we say the worst crash is crash with an idiot.

 

I hope you are ok.

[powerback]

Martina I really do empathise with you here ,I love analogys and here's one "if you've a headache stop hitting your head with a hammer" because this is what your doing ( in the greatest respects I say this of course).

You and all of us are tiny minos in this society let alone the withdrawal society.

You need to practice consistent avoidence of these people .

Get behind madinamerica ,give support to organizations that have clout and a voice .

You are just screaming at the bottom of the ocean talking to these imbiseals .

Judges are not there out of some altruistic warm feelings to help society .its mostly a class hiarchy .in my opinion the law and judicary system is disgusting but that's how we have it set up for way to long and its geting worse .

The best thing to do is stay well away from these people and find comfort and validation else were.

In ireland there only starting tp begin to reform this ridiculous system of law and judges .

Ive said this before ,the medical industry is far worse than the catholic church ever was for covering up , a gigantic industry is set up around it ,sadly this is the modern capatalistic world and wel be well gone when any reform happens.

Focus on your family ,its a million times more use of your time.

Take great care.

[Martina23]

Today I have actually good quite average day. Still keep thinking about this Lyrica (I shouldnt I know) which makes me nervous but the rest day is ok. We (with children) are swimming all the time, had a "Coconutkiss" drink - but without alcohol, I learned the children swimming and mostly we are doing nothing. Which is pleasant. I could not sleep that good in the night as we have a lot of misquitos. I try to relax and forget the sad things in life.

 

I dont know why but it comes to my mind this song:

I am a big big girl , in a big big world...

I have no idea why.

[Iatrogenesis]

21 hours ago, Martina23 said:

Iatrogenesis, thank you that you wrote me. I really think Austrian are special in unpoliteness. There was one query and Austrians were the second most unpolite people on the world (after Kuwait).

 

Ha, I guess you've never been to Poland, then! This guy is out of his mind, but his descriptions of the rudeness are quite accurate (perhaps he just couldn't take it and came up with this anguished theory):

https://polandian.wordpress.com/2008/03/21/myth-1-polish-people-are-rude/

But yeah, people often talk about the poverty, Soviet occupation as being the reasons for this frequent lack of civility. Anywho...

 

21 hours ago, Martina23 said:

I dont know where I will go. I just want go. I have such s trauma from this withdrawal from Lyrica and here just they took a doctor - "so called medical expert" who didnt know anything who said there is no withdrawal, there is only my illness. I would let just these experts taste their own medicine, they should go to the prison.

 

It's perfectly understandable and natural, but I don't think this experience is really limited to Austria.

 

20 hours ago, powerback said:

You are just screaming at the bottom of the ocean talking to these imbiseals .

 

I think you should do whatever feels right to you... I agree with PB this channel might not be the best way of achieving things. These people are often authoritarian, conformist, narrow-minded and we are dealing with a wrong that is so colossal that it can seem unthinkable to begin with.

 

Have you ever tried meditation? It's a great way to learn to control your thoughts. It can be very beneficial to your health, if somewhat difficult. Because what course of action you want to take is your choice, but the thoughts are completely useless, they're just suffering.

 

21 hours ago, Martina23 said:

I hope you are ok. 

 

Thanks, I'm fine. Just a bit insomniac again. Take care.

[Martina23]

1 hour ago, Iatrogenesis said:

 

Ha, I guess you've never been to Poland, then! This guy is out of his mind, but his descriptions of the rudeness are quite accurate (perhaps he just couldn't take it and came up with this anguished theory):

https://polandian.wordpress.com/2008/03/21/myth-1-polish-people-are-rude/

But yeah, people often talk about the poverty, Soviet occupation as being the reasons for this frequent lack of civility. Anywho...

 

 

It's perfectly understandable and natural, but I don't think this experience is really limited to Austria.

 

 

I think you should do whatever feels right to you... I agree with PB this channel might not be the best way of achieving things. These people are often authoritarian, conformist, narrow-minded and we are dealing with a wrong that is so colossal that it can seem unthinkable to begin with.

 

Have you ever tried meditation? It's a great way to learn to control your thoughts. It can be very beneficial to your health, if somewhat difficult. Because what course of action you want to take is your choice, but the thoughts are completely useless, they're just suffering.

 

 

Thanks, I'm fine. Just a bit insomniac again. Take care.

Iatrogenesis, I know what you mean and it was somewhat helpful because maybe I  could use it also for this unpolite Austrian person. 

 

I actually have good experiences  with Polish. I am Slovak from origin (but living already 7 years in Austria) and my tidying up woman was Polish. And actually I had no problem. She didnt speak German but talked polish and as a Slovak you somewhat understand the polish language. I think Polish are quite from heart good people. But I have never been at municipalities there.

[Martina23]

1 hour ago, Martina23 said:

Iatrogenesis, I know what you mean and it was somewhat helpful because maybe I  could use it also for this unpolite Austrian person. 

 

I actually have good experiences  with Polish. I am Slovak from origin (but living already 7 years in Austria) and my tidying up woman was Polish. And actually I had no problem. She didnt speak German but talked polish and as a Slovak you somewhat understand the polish language. I think Polish are quite from heart good people. But I have never been at municipalities there.

Iatrogenesis, I remember I have one favourite book from a polish writer. I dont know the English name, so I will write the polish name. It is called "Pan Samochodzik a Nesmiertelny", in Slovak it was "Pan Tragacik  a clovek z UFO" and it is from Zbygniew Nienacky. It is  a great book.

[Iatrogenesis]

Hm, yeah. It's mostly shop assistants, civil servants... As the Brit says people in the public sphere. The common conception is that it's because they're poor, overworked, etc. It can be pretty bad, that was my point.

 

Yeah, Pan Tragacik, I've read that in my childhood. Nice books. It's always so amusing how similar but different the neighbouring Slavic languages sound. I've been to Slovakia, great country.

 

By the way, it's actually "i" in Polish, not "a". "A" is used a bit differently. "Clovek" is "Człowiek" in Polish. It's really amusing and interesting how close but different the languages can sound.

[Martina23]

I decided that I will write all my findings to the civil court, write that I dont have money and they should decide what they do with the case.

 

If they would say that indeed if I lose there is no way to get discount, I would let it. 

 

If it would be already at the court, then I would have a good feeling that I fought even if I dont continue.

 

I will do it like this because in 1968 when the Russia marched into our country through violence, the people say nowadays we had to fight more at that time. That when we did we wouldnt be so frustrated and so easily influenced now. That this not fighting is in some negative way changing the person.

 

I dont want to be changed. Maybe I am poor but with this what I can I want to raise my voice and say No.

[Martina23]

So today I wrote to Dr. Healy if he would give me testimony that my problems were caused by Lyrica and he said he can not as he has an awful lot of work. So if he doesnt change his mind, then I can forget any trial also.

 

But I am not angry, I fought what I could and apparently it was not possible. Sometimes it is also question of luck. I tried all the possibilities (financially available to someone who has no money) and the problem is that everybody plays only for himself. I think that is the most problem.

 

I did what I could.

[Martina23]

So it is final. I can forget Healy and sadly therefore I can forget also the lawsuit.

 

It is actually so hurtful because there is noone other in European Union who testifies withdrawal.

 

I even started to cry. I tried so much. Sometimes just people think only about themselves.

 

This is so unfair.

[Martina23]

I think I will not come to surviving antidepressants for some time, this Healy really hurt me with his statement (that he refused to give me his expert statement because there is no one other who testifies withdrawal in EU), I feel that all my efforts are lost.

[DrugfreeProf]

Martina, I hope you will continue to come to SA for support, both to give it and to receive it.  I think Healy must be truly swamped with work. There are so few people who really understand WD and are courageous enough to speak out against big $harma and the money powers, not to mention people who are able and willing to give expert testimony.

I predict that there will be a class action suit one day against the drug companies for all the harm they've done through pushing SSRIs.  Just wait and see.  Whatever you do, even if you can't get justice through the legal system, take care of yourself and trust that you will get through this and past it.

[Carmie]

Hi Martina, 

 

Im sorry your doctor couldn’t give u a statement but as you probably already know they really don’t know much about withdrawals. Yes, it certainly is unfair, like u said, but we can’t change it as doctors only know what they are taught in medical school n I’m afraid they aren’t taught about withdrawals from these medications.

 

Don’t let that stop u from coming back here n checking in on SA as you will still get support n encouragement here. Only people that have gone through what you n I have gone through will understand the pain of withdrawals. People who haven’t gone through it don’t have a clue.

 

Have u been doing any more painting? Please try n find somethings in your life that bring u a little joy. 

 

Again, I’m so sorry what you’ve gone through. I hope you are able to find some peace soon💚

 

 

 

 

54 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

I think I will not come to surviving antidepressants for some time, this Healy really hurt me with his statement (that he refused to give me his expert statement because there is no one other who testifies withdrawal in EU), I feel that all my efforts are lost.

 

[Martina23]

Hi, I also turned to Goetzsche that I would like to look through all clinical studies for Lyrica  if I can turn to him for advice if I dont understand something (as I am not a scientist). The answer: "I am overworked". It is really you can nowhere turn to in this case. And I am quite hardheaded if I try something but this is totally hopeless.

 

But yes, thank you for your nice comments. It means a lot to me.

 

It hurts me somewhat that I am so unsuccessful in this. But there is nothing more I can do. I really tried everything possible and impossible.

 

I like people here. I will paint today in the evening. But I feel  so bad that now these doctors who prescribed me this Lyrica can laugh and feel that they won even if they caused me life long pain.

 

But I know with this I am like a radio. I guess I havent proccessed it within me until now. Thank you DrugfreeProf and Carmie. Thank you for your support and friendship.

[Martina23]

Two days ago I again got these tooth pains. It got inflamed. I was before yesterday and yesterday by dentist who before yesterday cleaned the rooths and yesterday when it pained said I have to wait for three days if the pain doesnt get better. It is still not better. It pains so much that I am going to faint but have to wait until tommorrow because she said I have to wait for three days and first come after these three days when it doesnt get better. The pain is unbearable.

[Martina23]

Two days ago I again got these tooth pains. It got inflamed. I was before yesterday and yesterday by dentist who before yesterday cleaned the rooths and yesterday when it pained said I have to wait for three days if the pain doesnt get better. It is still not better. It pains so much that I am going to faint but have to wait until tommorrow because she said I have to wait for three days and first come after these three days when it doesnt get better. The pain is unbearable.

[Martina23]

So I made an account on gofundme for my trial costs (to collect money to sue doctors for prescribing Lyrica)...

 

I think it will not function but when I tried everything so I really wanted to try everything...

 

How the Czech proverb says: "Desperate women make desperate things":-)

 

I know I am crazy I always was.

 

I am sending everyone a song

 

 

[Martina23]

As a part of my asking people of money on gofundme I asked them also if anyone had terrible withdrawal reaction from psych drugs to write it in the comments and if I collect enough money to start trial I will take that comments (hopefully there would be a lot of them) and show to the court that all the people were not informed on side effects and withdrawal and want a change in legislation and dont want to accept this.

 

 

[Martina23]

I was now by the doctor who said I have an inflammation of the teeth bone, the whole left part inflammed and if antibiotics dont help they have to pull me the tooth which caused it

[Martina23]

The whole pain is unbearable. I took already antibiotics and got afraid I would get again intrusive  thoughts.I looked in the subway at people and had a slight feeling the thoughts are a bit back. Till till now it wasnt so bad. I hope I will be able to sleep.

[powerback]

sorry for your pain martina ,it really wares on our senses ,a good boring documentary is usually good to keep the thoughts away but mine are so bad I get lost in my thoughts lately .

be safe .

 

[Martina23]

Today I feel a bit sad and lonely. A bit a bad day. Today I found an abscess near my ear from the teeth infection I am having. I am taking antibiotics. Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk about these things. Today is a  bit lonely. I will go to paint.

[Martina23]

Today is also a bit lonely day. I was painting today for three hours- I was painting the naked woman with  breasts. Actually I was painting breasts and that for three hours. They are not yet great but I will continue tommorrow.

 

I will make three such pictures where there will be a lot of naked women mostly in colour and on the top  one only in pencil and in coal.

 

It will be called Cemetery of vain illusions.

 

So this was what I did today.

[Martina23]

I thought I can promote my book that I will talk two videos with particular chapters of my book and put on youtube and facebook with link to the book on  amazon. I guess it is a good idea.

 

Does anyone know how to put videos on youtube?

[Iatrogenesis]

Yes, would you like some help with that?

[Martina23]

1 hour ago, Iatrogenesis said:

Yes, would you like some help with that?

Iatrogenesis, thank you for replaying me. I guess, it will be sufficient when you will explain me what should I do. I guess, I have to sign up to youtube and there will be somewhere that I can upload videos. Is it like that? Can I sign there and upload videos there without costs? I know it is stupid question but I am a solely earner with two children so such questions are for me important 🙂

[Iatrogenesis]

Happy to help, Martina. You need a Google account, as Youtube is now owned by Google. If you have Gmail, for example, you already have a Google account and you can use that for Youtube. Yes, it's free 🙂