☼ Martina23: Lyrica

[Martina23]

Today I appealed against that our general attorney concluded that Pfizer didnt do anything unlawful or harmful and requested from them information if they checked clinical studies which I consider manipulated. I am sure that they didnt check them, there is noone working there, I guess they will not do anything also in the future, most probably they will  make only from me crazy, but I didnt want to give up so I appealed.

 

That is funny. If there is any information in the newspaper about anything like illness or vaccination, they will publish it only if it is pro pharma or pro doctors. Other opinions expcept for pharma friendly are not published. This makes me so angry.

 

My mother reproached me my activism and asked if I want to look like psychically ill, that they will make me look and stamp me as psychically ill if I will fight against them. But I cannot stay inactive just to look mentally healthy. I am mentally healthy and no stupid psychiatrist can change anything about that.

 

My daughter was so nice today. She ate the lasagne I prepared today. She is such a darling.

 

I am going painting. I found a new style and it is actually what I love doing. I love this feeling when everything is full of colours.

[Martina23]

I was so happy, so I wanted to share it also with you:

 

In 2019 I will most probably have my first exhibition of my paintings in this Austrian spa https://www.avita.at/de.html

 

I was so happy about. My life starts to make sense for me. I hope it will come out good. I love it.

[FarmGirlWorks]

Congrats on the paintings, Martina! So lovely that you're doing what you love.

[Martina23]

I have a feeling that I will suffocate. I got again answer from the authorities why they put away my criminal complaint against Pfizer. They just wrote in their explanation that Lyrica is allowed in the whole European union and so it is approved by the European authorities and therefore it is safe. I want to vomit. This unability to find someone to work here makes me desperate. I see it clearly now, the problem are not the deceivers pharma industry but the unefficient state authorities and the lame system they provided. So sad!

[Martina23]

Today I had such an unpleasant thing. When my children were little and I didnt get any child support, I turned first to the Austrian court and later when they did nothing for three years I turned to US court. I won the US court. And today there came the letter from the Austrian court, that I should send them my income situation because they want that I pay the Austrian court costs. And that they can do it even when I won the court. They did nothing for me at that time and now they say why should they turn to the father of the children, if I have sufficient income I can pay the court costs. For all the three years when they did nothing. I am still in shock.

 

But I decided that I shouldnt be angry, I should paint and write down my stories and my fantasies to create something which will make someone else happy. They can take me all my money away. It will not make them happier. Because the only one true happiness comes from making other people happy, from being creative and from love. The people who are only after money dont enjoy and live their life fully. So they can take what they want. 

[Altostrata]

Martina, write a polite appeal. These bureaucracies will send out these routine letters, but often they will back off.

 

Please don't blame yourself for being unable to sue Pfizer. Very few people anywhere have been successful in legal actions based on psychiatric drug withdrawal.

[Martina23]

Thank you Altostrata. I was so happy that you supported me.

 

I will write an appeal. I have time till Monday. 

 

On 6/12/2018 I have also a meeting with the chamber of doctors, till now this didnt bring anything, the problem is they have connection to tousand of doctors who just write an "expert" statement that psychiatric drugs dont cause such problems and the only one problem is you.

 

In the statement they even omited that there was no informed consent and that the doctor failed to inform on side effects, or that the medication was not necessary. They just write there the medication is approved by EU and thus the prescription is no failure of the doctor. This organization who should help the victims try (moderately) to help but in Austria there are no doctors like Peter Breggin, we have only these mainstream ones, who are eager all to stand for pharma industry. But I try:-)

 

I even submitted a letter at Austrian ministery of health with proposal of changes to law, but they ignored me completely.

 

But it is really great that you supported me, now I dont feel so alone in fighting this.

 

Once more thank you.

[Martina23]

So I submitted an appeal against the decision. I will not place here all the points, maybe later. 

 

But I have one more idea. I dont know if it is going to work. I have some old link from FDA where all control studies (also for Lyrica) should be situated. I can check if the authors are stated there. If yes, I can make a list and compare it with infos on internet if these people -the researchers are financially or otherwise connected with Pfizer, if they take consultant fees from Pfizer, money as advisory board from Pfizer, grants, research support, speakers fees etc (basically bribe money)

By all control studies for Lyrica. 

[Hopefull]

Good on you Martina.  It is good to see that you are proactive in en effort to bring about change. 

Good luck with everything.  I hope that someone takes notice in your country. 

Best wishes,  Hopefull.

[Martina23]

Thank you Hopeful. Good to hear from you. I am today a bit sad. I am doing so much and so less seems to work. But I didnt give up. I actually never give up :-).  I start to think that everything is question of using the right place, like marketing. And I havent found one by now. My mother made me today so sad. She is always carping about foreigners and immigrants from Africa. She is one of these simple people for whom for everything are immigrants to blame. It goes so much on nerves to me. Here in Austria it is also the whole newspaper how the immigrants are bad. I dont read newspaper anymore. But it makes me sad, because you can not escape from that. I wish I could move somewhere where the people appreciate each other.

[Martina23]

Today I feel so sad. It is such a weird day. I am a bit ill. I decided that in my painting I will concentrate on women. On women body. On these more fat women. In some way it is for me more interesting than thin, perfect women. I like to paint women nude body. But I want to support that the women feel beautiful and desired even if they have a few kilos more. Because I really think that human body is  beautiful and interesting even if it is not perfect. And I want to bring women beauty to surface in my paintings even if they are not ideal based on todays standard, so I will concentrate on painting of fat women.

[Martina23]

How I am now ill, it fell on my teeth and one tooth got inflamed.The doctor prescribed me antibiotics. I didnt want to take it but in internet there was so much scary information how I can get blood sepsis that I took it. And now I am so afraid that I will get again these intrusive thoughts. 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, Martina23 said:

How I am now ill, it fell on my teeth and one tooth got inflamed.The doctor prescribed me antibiotics. I didnt want to take it but in internet there was so much scary information how I can get blood sepsis that I took it. And now I am so afraid that I will get again these intrusive thoughts. 

HI martina do your best not to listen to these thoughts .I agree the human body is the most fascinating mind boggling thing to ever exist ,we all have one but few understand any of it .withdrawl pushed me to understand my own and I will never stop learning about it ever .

Get well soon .

[Martina23]

18 hours ago, powerback said:

HI martina do your best not to listen to these thoughts .I agree the human body is the most fascinating mind boggling thing to ever exist ,we all have one but few understand any of it .withdrawl pushed me to understand my own and I will never stop learning about it ever .

Get well soon .

Hi Powerback, good to hear from you. I took these antibiotics and I couldnt sleep at night, I got such muscle movements when I fell asleep which let me wake up, so I will not take it anymore.

 

I was today by the dentist with it. I told her that since withdrawal from Lyrica I have allergy on anesthetics so I can not take one. So she said it will pain like hell and did without. I was crying so much but she was quite patient and did it almost an hour so that it doesn't pain so much. So it is done! And I feel now very well! Sometimes I think it is good to feel pain once in a while as it is a sign that you still feel something and there comes so many negative emotions away with it.

 

It is good that you wrote me. 

 

It is now so funny time everywhere. I feel there is so much racism in Austria these days. Today there was in newspaper that they closed 7 mosques in my country and check all the imams. I dont like it. There is so much hate between the people in Austria nowadays. I dont know why. The diversity is not anymore appreciated.

 

I hope you are well. I will read through your thread when I have a free while.

 

Now I am going to buy spaghetti because children said they want spaghetti bolognese for dinner 🙂

 

Bye! Nice evening!

[Martina23]

So everything changed.

 

The doctor who made me the tooth said she cleaned it and I should have prayed it doesnt continue to be inflamed because in other case treatment of root canals is necessary and this doesnt go without anesthetics as I wouldnt be able to withstand the pain. I tried to "talk to my body" that it has to "comply" in other case we have a problem. Yesterday it started to be inflamed and I think this treatment of the roots will be necessary. I can not imagine to hold through this. I will not endure one months of intrusive thoughts but I can not imagine to hold on by such pain which comes when they treat the roots o the teeth. This everything is very unfortunate.

 

[ten0275]

hey martina,

i'm very sorry to hear about the trouble with your teeth. are you still having the intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, or are they only on rare occasions now? you know how badly i too experienced the intrusive thoughts. during withdrawal, i've had to have injections of local anethetics several times. a couple times for tooth fillings and twice for other surgical procedures. i never had a serious resurgence of intrusive thoughts as a result of local anesthetics. i know we all react differently to things, but i found that what stirred up my intrusive thoughts more was the fear of the procedure, as it heightened my anxiety and stress and that produced some mild intrusive thoughts. but that hasn't happened at all the last couple of times, as i have healed from withdrawal more. i'm just saying this as something to take into consideration. it seems that overall, you have made very good progress in your healing. it might not be as terrible as you fear to get this procedure over and done with. a tooth infection can be very painful to try to live with. just bear in mind that a shot of anesthesia now might not affect you as it would when you were in the most acute phases of your withdrawal process.

hang in there,

dave

[Martina23]

On 6/11/2018 at 5:33 PM, ten0275 said:

hey martina,

i'm very sorry to hear about the trouble with your teeth. are you still having the intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, or are they only on rare occasions now? you know how badly i too experienced the intrusive thoughts. during withdrawal, i've had to have injections of local anethetics several times. a couple times for tooth fillings and twice for other surgical procedures. i never had a serious resurgence of intrusive thoughts as a result of local anesthetics. i know we all react differently to things, but i found that what stirred up my intrusive thoughts more was the fear of the procedure, as it heightened my anxiety and stress and that produced some mild intrusive thoughts. but that hasn't happened at all the last couple of times, as i have healed from withdrawal more. i'm just saying this as something to take into consideration. it seems that overall, you have made very good progress in your healing. it might not be as terrible as you fear to get this procedure over and done with. a tooth infection can be very painful to try to live with. just bear in mind that a shot of anesthesia now might not affect you as it would when you were in the most acute phases of your withdrawal process.

hang in there,

dave

Hello Dave,

 

I was today by the chamber of the doctors as I complained what Lyrica caused to me. They all - the doctors there- said that Lyrica doesn´t cause anything like this. That this was my condition and there are so many conditions causing this. And that that is all right when the doctor doesn´t inform you on side effects. And that this is the medicament against the pain, so it is all right.  They said Lyrica is not like benzos because they read in the studies that Lyrica doesnt make such dependence like benzos, so they basically meant it was my mental illness not Lyrica.

 

I am really so crushed from this. This is all because I am living here. Here are not such wise doctors like Dr. Breggin, here are only these stupid ones.

 

I was so happy that you wrote me. 

 

I will go tomorrow to the dentist. I think with respect to Lyrica I just fought on the wrong place. I realize that the people have never sucess alone, for having success you need to have other people who at at least understand you and support you. But when these doctors here dont understand and are not able to see the reality, the winning is not possible.

 

I am quite crushed from the experience today. 

 

But I was happy that you wrote me. 

 

Now I have intrusive thoughts only occassionaly. These doctors there looked there all like "know it all" doctors.

 

You know, now in the work there is still radio going and I found I like very much the songs from Kendrick Lamar. Do you like him also? I love the most his song "Call out my name. It is beautiful. 

 

 

Martina

[Martina23]

When I read articles on this site , I sometimes have a feeling that I would like to cry my eyes out. This is so depressing that there is so much good evidence how these drugs are harmful and everywhere you step out and mention this by regular psychiatry you are only made someone who makes things out and you will be stamped as mentally ill. On Wednesday when I was at this doctor chamber, they looked at me as if I were crazy to say that Lyrica caused the issue. But it did! I was previously perfectly normal. I wanted to shout there to these people that they should wake up. It still pains me. It is such an anguish you know you were harmed, you know they will continue harming people, but you can not do something because you dont have enough money to fight back. I wouldnt be able to pay back the costs if I would lose. But it makes me very unhappy, not only for me but also for all the other people who suffer here and never got and maybe never will get justice.

[powerback]

1 hour ago, Martina23 said:

When I read articles on this site , I sometimes have a feeling that I would like to cry my eyes out. This is so depressing that there is so much good evidence how these drugs are harmful and everywhere you step out and mention this by regular psychiatry you are only made someone who makes things out and you will be stamped as mentally ill. On Wednesday when I was at this doctor chamber, they looked at me as if I were crazy to say that Lyrica caused the issue. But it did! I was previously perfectly normal. I wanted to shout there to these people that they should wake up. It still pains me. It is such an anguish you know you were harmed, you know they will continue harming people, but you can not do something because you dont have enough money to fight back. I wouldnt be able to pay back the costs if I would lose. But it makes me very unhappy, not only for me but also for all the other people who suffer here and never got and maybe never will get justice.

Hi Martina ,you will need to learn to take a step back from this ,it's causing you too much hurt ,I totally get you and I'm the same but it's way to big of an issue . only time and history will prove us correct ,if you stand and talk to a brick wall what  happens , nothing ,this is worse because culture and society and laws are on there side ,we are no further on  from  50 years ago with stigma and ignorance .stay connected to people that have woken up and are on a healthy path of understanding .

Follow doctors that are more awake and understanding .

Money and power is the ultimate ego massaging state to be in.we got to ignore them and focus on the future of health care .

You have an empathic soul ,don't waste it on the unconscious .

Eckhart tolle has a great say ,"you can't bring consciousness to an unconscious mind ".

I'm with you on this but western culture is creating and medicating it's own problems .

I'm working on trying to give up alot of these habits that made me walk into that ignorant doctor's office and go on meds .it's hard but worth it .

Take care .

 

[Martina23]

On 6/14/2018 at 12:25 PM, powerback said:

Hi Martina ,you will need to learn to take a step back from this ,it's causing you too much hurt ,I totally get you and I'm the same but it's way to big of an issue . only time and history will prove us correct ,if you stand and talk to a brick wall what  happens , nothing ,this is worse because culture and society and laws are on there side ,we are no further on  from  50 years ago with stigma and ignorance .stay connected to people that have woken up and are on a healthy path of understanding .

Follow doctors that are more awake and understanding .

Money and power is the ultimate ego massaging state to be in.we got to ignore them and focus on the future of health care .

You have an empathic soul ,don't waste it on the unconscious .

Eckhart tolle has a great say ,"you can't bring consciousness to an unconscious mind ".

I'm with you on this but western culture is creating and medicating it's own problems .

I'm working on trying to give up alot of these habits that made me walk into that ignorant doctor's office and go on meds .it's hard but worth it .

Take care .

 

Thank you Powerback. It helped me a lot. Yes, it is for me hard. It is really like talking to a brick wall. And it makes so much anguish that you try to explain, but the people just dont want to understand. I was already on the brink on Saturday that I will leave Austria, when they are so ignorant. But you explained it so well. It made me calm again. I thank you for this. I hope you are all right. We endured already so much. I pity you also, that you had to suffer so much because of their ignorance. I have to go, my boss is already looking reproachingly my direction (I am at work:-) By the way, I published on Amazon already my little book about my withdrawal story, but I published it under pseudonym so that noone knows that is me:-) I still have to put there paper version, but the ebook is already available:-) But I know I am not a big writer, it was more to fight back :-)

 

Thank you once more for writing me.

[Martina23]

On 6/11/2018 at 5:33 PM, ten0275 said:

hey martina,

i'm very sorry to hear about the trouble with your teeth. are you still having the intrusive thoughts on a daily basis, or are they only on rare occasions now? you know how badly i too experienced the intrusive thoughts. during withdrawal, i've had to have injections of local anethetics several times. a couple times for tooth fillings and twice for other surgical procedures. i never had a serious resurgence of intrusive thoughts as a result of local anesthetics. i know we all react differently to things, but i found that what stirred up my intrusive thoughts more was the fear of the procedure, as it heightened my anxiety and stress and that produced some mild intrusive thoughts. but that hasn't happened at all the last couple of times, as i have healed from withdrawal more. i'm just saying this as something to take into consideration. it seems that overall, you have made very good progress in your healing. it might not be as terrible as you fear to get this procedure over and done with. a tooth infection can be very painful to try to live with. just bear in mind that a shot of anesthesia now might not affect you as it would when you were in the most acute phases of your withdrawal process.

hang in there,

dave

Dave, I am not so much anymore on surviving antidepressants, so you can write me anytime on my email (you have my email address). I wish you a beautiful week :-)

Your Martina

[Martina23]

When I see all these contributions about withdrawal, I again remember this "serious" statement of that so called "medical expert" who said there is no withdrawal. 

 

I like one song, so I will put it here, I dont know its name, it starts at 82:20 minute and I hear it  all the time now  🙂

 

I hope everyone is well.

 

 

[Martina23]

I am now going painting, at 20 pm is always my painting time 🙂

[Martina23]

Does anyone know  how to lose weight? I always struggle with weight. I again put on two kg. I must lose them. 

[sunnylou]

Dear Martina I have been reading your posts. Sorry your having a hard time proving there is withdrawal to Dr's. I am in a scary position. I tapered Gabapentin too quickly from 900mg to 300mg. The withdrawal was horrendous. I panicked, went back up to 900mg, Its been 33 days now and it isn't working for my pelvic pain which renders me unable to sit. I'm scared of going to the Dr as they might say I have to taper off it, and too quick, They probably won't believe in withdrawals from it. It is very similar drug to Lyrica. Still getting withdrawals, and burning sensations even back on my full dose.

 

Well done for how you have endured all this!

[Martina23]

2 hours ago, sunnylou said:

Dear Martina I have been reading your posts. Sorry your having a hard time proving there is withdrawal to Dr's. I am in a scary position. I tapered Gabapentin too quickly from 900mg to 300mg. The withdrawal was horrendous. I panicked, went back up to 900mg, Its been 33 days now and it isn't working for my pelvic pain which renders me unable to sit. I'm scared of going to the Dr as they might say I have to taper off it, and too quick, They probably won't believe in withdrawals from it. It is very similar drug to Lyrica. Still getting withdrawals, and burning sensations even back on my full dose.

 

Well done for how you have endured all this!

Dear Sunnylou, I am happy that you wrote me. My withdrawal was a nightmare. Really. I dont exagerrate. You are in a quite bad position with respect to your doctor -like me when I was beginning. Please note that the withdrawal will end or get substantially better once you are off of the drug. You just have to taper it correctly so that you manage to get off. Please believe in yourself, you will manage it.

[Martina23]

I am today so sad. I dont know why. In the last time I got so many floaters in the eyes and today my mother told me that her previous colleague won her trial against her previous employer who kicked her out from the work before. And I feel sad that we suffer much more, they almost murdered us with that "medicament" and I have to worry to put my case to the trial as the "expert doctors" say there is no withdrawal. For such a small thing like a kick out you get right, for such a big thing like almost killing you get no right.

[FarmGirlWorks]

@Martina23 It think that is plenty to feel sadly about. We live in a phase of history where the predicament of antidepressant withdrawal is not widely known or accepted. I filed a complaint against Pfizer with our state government prosecutor (WA Attorney General Bob Ferguson who sued Purdue for opioid addictions in Washington state) and, as expected, they just said there is nothing to be done now. But it is a chip in the wall as was your suit.

[Martina23]

11 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

@Martina23 It think that is plenty to feel sadly about. We live in a phase of history where the predicament of antidepressant withdrawal is not widely known or accepted. I filed a complaint against Pfizer with our state government prosecutor (WA Attorney General Bob Ferguson who sued Purdue for opioid addictions in Washington state) and, as expected, they just said there is nothing to be done now. But it is a chip in the wall as was your suit.

That's great FarmGirlWorks.  You know I sent it also to General Attorney of New York and Texas in the past. New York I could forget, there was this Eric Schneidermann who is now accused from violence agaist women. There were very indifferent to the normal people misery. They were only very political against Trump. Then I put a complaint to Gen.Att. Texas, I have very good experience with them, they helped me a lot that I get child support, it was actually their success (the kids father is American), about the complaint they said they would look through it but they said they can go to trial only when there is 100 percent proof of some criminal behavior. I guess the problem with pharma is that the law is too benevolent to them, if they pay various money to doctors, for them it is not bribery, for everyone other is.

[Martina23]

I again got tooth ache today. I was not by the dentist previously as I was afraid.  It started to be better but the tooth was open and it again starts to be inflamed. I have to go on monday to the dentist. But I hope it will be ok as this tooth is dead.

 

Today I was painting again, I try to paint each day three hours. I was painting a hand of the woman figure, I try it already for a week and it is always sh*t.  I dont know why it doesnt go. 

 

Oh, this tooth pains...

[Martina23]

Today I have got such an urge to go away from Austria, I think here are people so negative turned to foreigners and I am a foreigner, I have always thought I can manage everything I want and I still think it of me, but this case with Lyrica (how I was running everywhere that the medication is toxic and that they manipulate the clinical studies and I was basically laughed at) showed me here I can not reach big things because the environment here is little and negativistic. So I can not stay here because I really want to do a lot of good things in life. It would be not easy to leave now when I am forty, but I think there is no other way.

[Martina23]

My tooth pains so much, it is terrible. I am so afraid tomorrow to the dentist. Within a few hours I have again the whole mouth inflamed. 

[direstraits]

so sorry ,Martina

 

I know how much suffering teeth can cause.😞

 

hope you can get it resolved quickly.

thinking of you.

hugs,ds

xx

[Martina23]

2 hours ago, direstraits said:

so sorry ,Martina

 

I know how much suffering teeth can cause.😞

 

hope you can get it resolved quickly.

thinking of you.

hugs,ds

xx

ds, thank you so much, it was so nice that you wrote me, it helped me a lot when I think tommorrow how I see the dentist. I hope you dont have to deal with such things and are happy and content. Now I remember, on Friday the teacher in the children' kindergarten told me that until Monday I have to put away all the red nailpolish which my son put on his hands and toes (he is five). Naturally, I forgot. So on Monday he will go to the kindergarten again with the red nails 🙂

[direstraits]

lol...they keep you on your toes,don't they.

take care,ds

xx

[Martina23]

So today I was by the dentist. She told me that the last tooth can not be saved anymore, it has to be pulled out. And the other tooth which is inflamed, if it doesnt stop get inflamed, I have to have the roots treatment. Both can not be endured without anesthetics. She meant I should try an anti allergy test, if there is some anesthetics which I endure. So it is not so good.  I have to try it with anesthetics. I am only afraid that it will be like last time - one month of terrible intrusive thoughts, this was a nightmare.