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ardyes

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Hey guys my name is ross. I’m from Melbourne Australia. I've been enduring this for close to 9 years now. I think my last form of psychiatric drug was in 2005. I changed to so many different types that i'm probably experiencing problems from many of them. I've used celexa effexor and paxil remeron and aurix. I think changing to effexor put me over the edge. After I was put on it I started developing problems with my jaw being locked in place constantly and I had tightening in my facial muscles and i started having really violent thoughts and nightmares and high levels of anxiety and agitation. I literally felt like I had started going insane. Thoughts were coming into my mind that I had never thought before. Like they didn't belong to me. I had already developed swings in my mood from being on medication but now they were much stronger. not long after this i started seeing another psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with having bipolar. The psychiatrist proceed to put me on various anti psychotics but they all made me extremely drowsy and I felt like they were making my agitation and problems with my face and jaw worse. I had started reading various books like the ones written by Dr Breggin on psychiatric drugs and I was browsing through the other website that is banned here. 

 

Not long after this i quit cold turkey. I had an idea in my mind that I would suffer withdrawal but I thought it would last 1-2 years max. I went through a period of not feeling anything at all. my mind was literally devoid of pleasure or pain. It just experienced constant agitation and anxiety 24/7. about a year later I started to feel emotions again. I went traveling and lived with my sister in the UK for a while. I found a job working as a kitchen hand first then in a factory I have no idea how I copped during this time because I was so exhausted and in immense pain during the time I was working. I told my father about it and he said that I could come home and work for him in Australia.

 

I did this for a few years but I coped by drinking alcohol a lot. I think this set back my recovery as I feel like my emotions were blunted again during this time. I’ve since been back overseas and worked and then come back to Australia again. Im living with my mum now and studying.

 

Im finding it quite hard as Im still suffering from the same issues a lot. The difference now is I feel like a lot of built up emotion is coming back from my past. Things I haven’t remembered or felt in years. Im actualy talking about my experience to my parents and some other people now where as before I felt like I could never express what I was going through at all. I could only describe it in a totally detached way without emotion.

 

I still deal with a lot of problems some are less than before. I still have depersonalization and derealization and high anxiety where I feel like the world feels unreal. I think this happens maybe 3 days in 2 weeks.  I still have akathisia for me this is probably the hardest symptom to deal with because I literally feel like I cant sleep or sit still or move or do anything. I feel so suicidal during these times because I feel I have no escape. The inner torment overwhelms me. The days I don’t feel anxiety I tend to feel a lot of pain in my hands and other parts of my body. Like arthritic pain. My face swells up and my body does too. I have like a pain that shoots up and down my nerves similar to pins and needles but with an added pain sensation. I still get weird electrical shock sensations but they don’t seem to happen all over. I have some pressure in my head in certain parts at times whereas before I felt like my whole head was just a stone or something. Just pressure all over my face and in parts of my brain. I twich sometimes still too but I don’t twich as often or as much. I still have problems getting erections at times and my libido is up and down but its better. Actually the times I feel really emotional I feel quite hypersexual. The times I feel numb are the times I have problems with an erection.

I started to write this post a few weeks ago while I was still studying. During this time I felt quite suicidal as I just felt like I was having to deal with too much. So much emotion and past memories have been flooding back into my mind. I called my dad and cried on the phone to him for an hour and with my mother too during a separate occasion. 

This is probably the third update to this post. I will post it eventually. I have been quite suicidal on and off lately over the months since I started to write this message. I think it’s because im coming up to 9 years of having to deal with this and I feel like I’ve not recovered. There are few people I have read about that have had problems this long. I still have many symptoms this far out. My suicidal ideations seem worse too because I feel like I’m starting to plan how I will do it. I’ve managed to talk to people a number of times before anything bad happens but I still worry.

 

Right now I’m seeing a doctor that Altrostrata recommended in a thread. His name is Dr Rob Purrsey. My first appointment with him was good as I think he does understand. The problem is I don’t know if I told him how long I had been having these problems for or how many problems I still have. I’m seriously considering asking him about reinstating on some type of medication. Maybe something that is easier to taper down from.

I’m not feeling so bad today but I decided I will finally finish this message as I would like to finally be a part of this forum as I really do need help. I will show my parents and my new doctor this message too as I’m trying to get them to understand. I still don’t know if they believe me or just think I’m a hypochondriac. I’ve tried to show them some things but they don’t really seem interested or want to ask me more about it. 

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Hey guys my name is ross. I’m from Melbourne Australia.

Hi Ross welcome ...have to say Melbourne is surely one of the nicest cities in the world.

 

...after this i started seeing another psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with having bipolar.

These psychiatrists drive me nuts!! You cant diagnose a brain thats been altered by drugs! (Scotty-isms).

 

I've been enduring this for close to 9 years now. I think my last form of psychiatric drug was in 2005.

Holy Jonah that is one long time to be suffering wdl ...i am so sorry you have had to suffer like this at the hands of the med profession.

 

I’m seriously considering asking him about reinstating on some type of medication.

Not sure i would be wanting to go down this road.

 

Wow this is the longest time-frame i have seen so far with no improvements ..i just don't know what to say ...don't give up hope Ross, i recall i think somewhere Shipko has mentioned seeing people have improvements after 7 years off, don't give up .............wishing you strength.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Ross, welcome to SA. That is a long time and I am so sorry to see that you've been suffering for so long. 

You do seem to be improving and I can see some thing is happening when reading your story. 

Recovery happens in what we call windows and waves, when it seems to get better then gets bad again, the bad times 

are waves and the better ones are windows. You can read about the windows and waves pattern of recovery here. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

I wouldn't recommend reinstating any meds because your nervous system is still struggling and it could make things worse.

There are many topics in the symptoms and self care section covering things that have helped some people. Some of us find

that magnesium helps a lot, and good quality fish oil. They are the ones that we recommend trying, but start with a very small

dose to see how it goes, we say that about starting anything new. One at a time and start low. 

You will also find topics on finding ways to cope with emotional problems, and one on neuro emotions, which is what you seem

to be experiencing at times. Take a look around and you will find a wealth of information. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/

 

You will also get lots of support and understanding here, you are in the right place. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Ross I don't know if I've understood you properly but it seems to me you say you've had no improvement in 9 years. But you have used alcohol in some of that time to cope . alcohol is a mood altering substance and would put your recovery back to square one it is impossible for any one to recover if they use any thing mood altering. If I've got this wrong please forgive me I only have your best interests at heart don't reinstate mate keep going on to full recovery.

I was originally on 350 mils doxepin started in1975 through the years I tapered down to 100 mils

I stayed on this dose for many years

I have now been off for 7 months ago

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Ross,

 

I'm a fellow Aussie. Unfortunately there are a few of us here. Have you tried any supplements? We usually recommend fish oil and magnesium as most find these tolerable and helpful. We recommend other stuff for specific symptoms but with greater caution. Sensitised nervous systems can react to almost anything.

 

Sorry you have been struggling and for so long. I hope Dr Purssey can help. Are you consulting by Skype?

 

Dalsaan

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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Yeah there are some periods where I drank quite a lot to cope. I still drink a little now but maybe one or two beers a week. Maybe I should stop that though.

 

I have had some improvement I think. I dont get nightmares or violent thoughts all the time and when I do get them they are self directed. it usually happens for 3 or 4 days in a period of 2 or 3 weeks then stops. usually pops up when I feel akistheisa type feelings. The depersonalisation and delrealisation probably lasts about the same but usually happens separately for like another 3 days. when i'm not feeling anxious or mentally bad I tend to suffer from pain or low energy. so while one thing goes away another thing pops up 

 

I just still have a lot of symptoms close to 9 years out even if they are milder and more intermittent. 

 

I do take magnesium and fish oil. I have for a long time. both help. I take ibuprofen too because it helps with the swelling in my hands and face.

I take lorazepam too if i'm desperate. like if i haven't slept in a while or feel overly anxious.

 

I have seen a doctor in melbourne about lyme disease too as I thought I may have some kind of underlying problem that is making me heal so slow. Part of the reasons for starting anti depressant use in the first place was having Chronic fatigue type symptoms. He is one of the best doctors to see for it. He did a kinesiology test on me and said that it is possible that I could have it and I should get treatment. The problem is in Australia lyme is quite a controversial issue. The medical association here believe it doesn't exist, and I would have to send $1500 for the test away to the US.  After my experience with using anti

depressants I am a bit skeptical too. I dont want to be pumped full of antibiotics for no reason. I was also a bit skeptical about him using a kinesiology test. Although he is a Graduate of Melbourne medical School and doesn't just work with lyme patients. 

 

I have seen Dr purssey in person as I am spending some time with my father on the sunshine coast before I start studying again. I will talk to him over skype later though. it will be my second appointment at the end of the month.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi ardyes ,     your story is extraordinary.     I haven't read any from someone off the ad's so long and still having quite intense symptoms , even if they are "milder and more intermittent".

Yes , in Australia we don't have lyme disease , just like we don't have protracted withdrawal syndrome , right?    Grrr . . . enough said.

Please let us know how things go for you.

Best wishes ,   Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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  • Administrator

Welcome, ardyes.

 

It's good you've seen some improvement. It could be that periodic alcohol has continued the nervous system upset.

 

To lessen stress on the nervous system, we urge people recovering from drug damage to maintain healthy habits : Regular bedtimes; fresh fruits and veggies; minimal alcohol, sugar, caffeine, and artificial additives; regular gentle exercise.

 

See information about fish oil and magnesium supplements here
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Then, we try to address specific symptoms. For example, acupuncture can be helpful for tingling pain. See the Symptoms and Self-Care forum for other suggestions.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator

Oh man, I'm so sorry you've been through all that!

 

Lyme disease is unique to the continental US, started in Lyme Connecticut.  Even so, it is controversial there, and is often overlooked by medicine because it is so difficult to diagnose.  I was just talking about this with my doctor friend in the US.  She had been told by her "functional medicine" doctor that she had "Chronic Lyme Disease" and would have to take antibiotics for life.  Being a doctor, she didn't like that option and paid only $900 for the tick antibodies tests.  She had 0 tick antibodies, and the "functional medicine" doctor (like orthomolecular here) was barking up completely the wrong tree.  NOW - I know that she has been exposed to the carrier of Lyme:  the deer tick nymph.  Because we hiked out to a lake and slept under a meteor shower on the beach - and hiked through tall grass on the way.  When we got back to civilization, we spent 2 hours with tweezers picking off the deer tick nymphs (the size of a pin head)

 

Now whatever your doctor says, there are tick problems here in Australia - it was just on Catalyst recently:  http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/4177191.htm

And perhaps the $1500 test would show tick antibodies from the paralysis tick, the tick of concern here in Oz.  It is serious, as it can kill your pets - and mess up your immune system.  BUT there is no deer tick or deer tick nymph in Australia, ergo, there is no Lyme disease here.

So I am suspicious of your doctor.  Add to that, the kinesiology thing, which is as woo as they come - and I'm doubly suspicious of him.  Now, he's not likely to hurt you (except for your wallet), but he may not be giving you good information.  Hey - I like a bit of woo woo.  I find that the woo woo gives me colorful information to fill out the facts, and can help me adjust my emotional attitude towards it.  But woo is not a primary source of information - just a supplement.

 

I'm interested to hear about your experiences with Rob Purssey.  What does he think about your protracted withdrawal?  Surely yours is the longest he has ever seen!  Has he offered you ACT?  And does that help?  Does he want to put you back on any drugs?  How do you feel about that?

 

Welcome to SA!  The "other site" was not banned, many people here were members of both.  We just have a different style here at SA, we like to stick to what works, and help people not suffer like we or our loved ones have.

 

I'd be curious to see what you would like from SA?  We cannot help you taper, you've done that - are you looking for non drug coping techniques?  Forms of exercise?  Sleep regulation?  We have others in your boat, their ocean is just not as protracted as your is.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi  ardyes ,  how are you keeping mate?

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator

Hey Ross - 

 

Here's some great information from Dr. Lucire:  http://psychrights.org/articles/newdrugsnewproblems.htm

 

and a thread here on SA about her, too:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6383-dr-yolande-lucire-adverse-reactions-to-psychiatric-drugs/

 

Are you back to Melbourne now?  How are you faring?

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 9 months later...

Hey guys Just an update. Im still in melbourne and recently I was tested for Lyme disease in both America using Igenex and at a lab in geelong. Both came back positive. I think this may be the reason why I am still quite sick years out. Having a chronic illness underlying the withdrawal has delayed my recovery significantly   Problem is with the current controversy in Australia my doctor has been banned from prescribing anti-biotics to treat lyme and forced to find a new practice.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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