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UselessSpork: Mirtazapine withdrawal, from 45 mg down to 3.9 mg


UselessSpork

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So i tried taking like 2.5 to 3 mg last night because i was scared of taking anything higher. Today is better than yesterday (i really hope it stays like this the rest of the day), im not sure what i feel though. I feel really drained/tired from the mental anguish, and the mirt. Also maybe a bit depressed and some anxiety... damn i dunno. i just really really hope i don't get worse today ): good god i wished i never started taking this garbage, i was only anxious for 2 months and depressed for not even a month before i went on this crap. It seemed like an eternity at the time... but looking back it wasn't that long... could have been better by now if i hadn't taken anything >.< Also no doctor forced this **** on me... it was my decision to go on it, because i thought it was the only anwser, sigh.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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Well, that's a good sign.

 

It's important that you stay consistent in your dosing. It will take at least 4 days for the amount you're taking to reach steady-state in your bloodstream.

 

Cutting tablets is very inexact. Please consider making a liquid for more careful measurement.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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There is a compounding pharmacy close to me, hopefully they can turn my medication into liquid.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • Administrator

You can turn your tablets into liquid. Please read the links we gave you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi  UselessSpork ,      I've been following your thread , and it seems to me you've made a very sensible decision re reinstating.    However bad it's been , it would have become a whole lot worse.    

Good to hear you didn't have any bad effect from the mirt. last night - that's very promising.    As Alto said , it takes 4 days to reach a steady state in your blood stream , so hopefully you'll feel just a little better each day.

 

I had a severe wd after a too-fast taper , and around 6 months after my last dose (Cymbalta) I was losing weight rapidly even though I was eating every 1.5 to 2 hours , around the clock.  

When I look at the notes I kept , I was eating enormous amounts of food.  Just didn't make sense.

 

So I wanted to say HI , and to let you know that I love a good spork.

 

Best wishes ,    Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Hi  UselessSpork ,      I've been following your thread , and it seems to me you've made a very sensible decision re reinstating.    However bad it's been , it would have become a whole lot worse.    

Good to hear you didn't have any bad effect from the mirt. last night - that's very promising.    As Alto said , it takes 4 days to reach a steady state in your blood stream , so hopefully you'll feel just a little better each day.

 

I had a severe wd after a too-fast taper , and around 6 months after my last dose (Cymbalta) I was losing weight rapidly even though I was eating every 1.5 to 2 hours , around the clock.  

When I look at the notes I kept , I was eating enormous amounts of food.  Just didn't make sense.

 

So I wanted to say HI , and to let you know that I love a good spork.

 

Best wishes ,    Fresh

Lol, well the joke with the name is sporks arent supposed to be useless, xD heh. Yeah the weight loss for me was pretty much all the mirt withdrawal i would say, i was eating more than enough and yet still losing weight really fast. My parents were telling me it was because i stopped eating cookies and sh*tty foods (mostly) but i said "i aint got time fo dat" Today is even better than yesterday btw, im not sure if its a window or the mirt is helping, either way ill take it. Im just really glad i have been getting windows all throughout my fast taper and final withdrawal, but then it also makes things extremely unpredictable... its very difficult to plan things ahead of time with friends >.<

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

So its been a while and i thought i would update. after reinstating at 3.50 or so mg of mirtazapine on feb 5 i have had mostly decent days.. a few hiccup days that were alittle 'meh' and one crappy day, but nothing i couldn't handle..and still no days as bad as i had after i rapidly dropped to 0 mg of mirt. But today was just ridiculous, i have never had so many mood swings in one day.. it is kind of insane, mind you they weren't extreme changes like crying then laughing, but still. I would go from feeling ok about things and maybe kinda happy to feeling hopeless and slightly depressed ..then back to feeling ok... then im anxious and hopeless again, over and over and over.. within the span of 5 minutes my mood could shift from one to another. I have probably shifted moods at least 100 times in the past 7 hours or so... it feels like i got some drunken idiot upstairs just pulling random levers and pushing buttons constantly, it has been pretty frustrating. Im used to my mood shifting alot when im having a bad day but not like this, normally if i get depressed or anxious i could say to myself "ok your depressed/anxious now... just gotta hunker down and get through it" But with this horseshit i don't know wtf is going on... and i cant ignore it at all, i would rather be depressed and stay depressed than deal with the ultra rapid shifting, then at least there is some consistency. I can physically feel the change in my brain.. going from low mood to feeling ok, so it is impossible to ignore, at least i can say this isnt the norm for me.. and today still wasn't nearly as bad as the worst day i have had when i was at 0 MG. Anyways i need some insight here, has anyone ever dealt with this? and am i on my way to stabilizing? i mean my windows seem to be getting longer.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • Member

I would say you are coming along quite nicely, this statement tells me so:

 

 

today still wasn't nearly as bad as the worst day i have had when i was at 0 MG

 

The quicksilver changeability of your moods is just your system readjusting things and over/under shooting the mark. You'll have to just roll with it the best you can till your moods even out. It is just a sign that you need to keep holding your dose, ok?

 

And just a tip: make sure your dose is right on and not 'or so'. That can cause problems if you take an inconsistent amount or at different times of the day. Consistency is the key here.

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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I would say you are coming along quite nicely, this statement tells me so:

 

 

today still wasn't nearly as bad as the worst day i have had when i was at 0 MG

 

The quicksilver changeability of your moods is just your system readjusting things and over/under shooting the mark. You'll have to just roll with it the best you can till your moods even out. It is just a sign that you need to keep holding your dose, ok?

 

And just a tip: make sure your dose is right on and not 'or so'. That can cause problems if you take an inconsistent amount or at different times of the day. Consistency is the key here.

Thanks for the reply :) I have been taking it exactly the same time every night and i am cutting a pill in half and then halfing that to get my doses. It isn't the most accurate thing ever, but the way my pills are shaped i can kinda make it an even cut, it probably varies by of a 0.40 mg at the very most (when i cut it badly) i usually just cut another one if it doesn't look close to perfect. Yeah i realize that still isn't good enough though ): even though most of the time im probably only off by 0.20 of a mg. I went to a compounding pharmacy and they couldn't do anything for me unless i get a new prescription, my current one still has quite a bit left in it. Also one of the clowns at the pharmacy gave me some sh*tty advice.... saying i was put on the AD's for a reason and i shouldn't come off them. also that maybe i just need to change to another wonderful AD! Hearing clueless garbage advice like that just makes me feel hopeless ..... so either i need to get another prescription or turn them into liquid myself. I have read the thread on making your own pills liquid and it seems complicated, last thing i wanna do is eff it up and THINK im taking exactly 3.5 mg when in reality im taking double that.. or half of that. but ill have to figure something out, i just hate how complicated everything has to be.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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Hey Spork! Just wanted to say welcome. You'll get lots of support here. You seem to have a great attitude. That will carry you a looong way. Keep telling yourself it's just WD and it's temporary. Glad to see your RI is going smoothly. I pop in to check on you.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Hey Spork! Just wanted to say welcome. You'll get lots of support here. You seem to have a great attitude. That will carry you a looong way. Keep telling yourself it's just WD and it's temporary. Glad to see your RI is going smoothly. I pop in to check on you.

Thanks pug! im so glad i have the internet.. and that places like this exist, otherwise i would be on a never ending antidepressant journey. I guarantee you if i just listened to doctors and pharmaceutical companies i would still be depressed and probably on 10 different drugs 5 years from now. That's the path that people go down when they don't know any better... sadly ): There is so much evidence that antidepressants do  not help.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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You are correct, grasshopper. You will end up on the other side of this experience a changed man... GOR THE BETTER.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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FOR

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

CFS: Chubby Finger Syndrome

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

CFS: Chubby Finger Syndrome

aint nothin you can do fo dat

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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I notice i have been getting headaches alot more lately, anyone else had/have this?

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Headaches ?   Yes , they'll come and go , like all the other symptoms.

 

I've just ordered digital jeweller's scales from ebay.com.au  ($13:95 , free delivery)    for when I start my taper.   Might be worth investing in some. They weigh down to 0.01 mg.

 

It can be helpful to keep a record of your mood changes , but it sounds like overall you're improving since reinstating 3.5mg.   That's wonderful news. 

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Headaches ?   Yes , they'll come and go , like all the other symptoms.

 

I've just ordered digital jeweller's scales from ebay.com.au  ($13:95 , free delivery)    for when I start my taper.   Might be worth investing in some. They weigh down to 0.01 mg.

 

It can be helpful to keep a record of your mood changes , but it sounds like overall you're improving since reinstating 3.5mg.   That's wonderful news. 

A SCALE! thats a great idea! i think i might buy that, since i still find the whole making liquid thing complicated. Anyways i can see i am improving somewhat since going off the meds totally from my journal entries and how i rate each day with a number, But its so hard to see improvements when i still feel kinda crappy >.< I cant stand how feeling even slightly anxious and depressed can trash your rationality and logic. i have said to myself thousands of times (this will pass and there will be more good days) and it is always confirmed ... and yet my stupid brain still doesn't believe it when i feel bad. ill just say to myself... "ahh but those good days probably werent even that good" or "this time those good days wont come back..this wont ever end" its so idiotic! I know you are supposed to be patient during times like this, but i cant help feeling like some drunken moron is running things upstairs. At least i can separate myself from the stupid thoughts and depression/anxiety, i know this isnt my personality and its just my brain being screwed up... so other than hating my brain dysfunction i very much like myself. Sorry for the rant, im not mad at anyone lol.. im just frustrated and need a good rant here and there, ty for the reply :)

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ugh today is bulllshit, i feel so weird/out of it and my idiot of a brain cant figure out wtf its doing up there. i keep switching from feeling ok to getting moderate attacks of anxiety about nothing. back and forth back and forth, im so pissed off about it. i wanted to hang out with someone this weekend too.. and of course my dipshit brain decides to freak out and drop the ball, granted it's not saturday yet.... but having a bad day usually carries over somewhat into the next >.< im just so irritable and anxious and restless right now, i feel a bit like trevor from gta 5, i need a goddamned hug.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

<<<<   HUGGGss  >>>>

 

Have you read the Windows and Waves topic lately spork?

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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*hugs back* thanks >.<

 

yeah i have read it, i assumed this was a wave... the problem is knowing how long its going to last. At least i know there is always an end. Anyways i went about 3 or so weeks without having a day this bad, sure some of those days haven't been great, but better than this. Its difficult to decipher between waves and windows sometimes. My symptoms are always different everytime i get a wave.. sometimes it comes with thoughts of just wanting to die, other times there are no such thoughts. Sometimes it comes with anxiety... and sometimes it comes with depression, baw... wished my stupid brain could make up its mind.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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My weight is still not returning to normal despite eating a fair amount some days, what does this mean? also, Can the windows and waves pattern be really REALLY unstable? one word describing the last 7 days i have had so you can get a gist of what im talking about. starting from 7 days ago until today.

 

7: meh

6: meh

5: bad

4: good

3: good first half/ bad second half

2: good

today: bad

 

as you can see i am all over the place, and every bad day has different symptoms from the last, varying combinations of irritability, anxiety, depression, dizzyness, headaches, thoughts of dying, apathy.. ect. im just glad i rarely have them all at once. could i still be really unstable after reinstating around a month ago? i got a 0.001 g scale now so i can get the exact same dose everynight.. could small variations in dose be causing these swings?

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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*post and replies moved from symptoms forum

 

I have always wondered if i would be completely well by now if i had never started taking antidepressants a year and a bit ago. I am holding onto the notion that when i get off these meds and my brain has stabilized, that i WILL recover because it was just the meds keeping me screwed up. I mean i hope that it is the meds introducing new chemical imbalances that is causing me not to recover. I have heard of anti depressants CAUSING depression and anxiety in people who took them for something not related to depression or anxiety... but who can really tell if its true or not. i haven't really heard much about antidepressants preventing you from recovering from depression/anxiety. Would some of the lifelong AD users be totally recovered Long long ago if they never went on AD's? despite me trying so many things to help myself, from exercise to distractions to meditation to supplements and eating healthy, nothing seems to conclusively work for me. it seems like its purely the medication thas causing me problems now.  i would seriously like to hear everyone's thoughts on this, any interesting links would be cool too.

Edited by Petunia
added note

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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Antidepressants make you depressed, long term.  Read "  Medication Madness" by Dr Peter Breggin.  "The Anatomy of an Epidemic", by Robert Whittaker.  Look at "The Marketing of Madness"  - youtube, and youtube videos by  Dr Peter Breggin. I know now, I would  not have had depression, long term , if not for the drugs.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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ahh thanks for the reply. Its hard to talk about this kind of stuff without sounding like a conspiracy theorist huh? that taboo is still there. ill take a look at some of that stuff :)

 

i would like to hear more if anyone else has anything to add

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 could i still be really unstable after reinstating around a month ago? i got a 0.001 g scale now so i can get the exact same dose everynight.. could small variations in dose be causing these swings?

 

Yes, it can take longer than a month for some people to stabilize. Based on your reaction to CBD oil one time, I think perhaps you might be sensitive to drugs in general, I'm the same way.  There are certain people who really shouldn't mess with their brain chemistry.  Some people do take longer to stabilize and to recover in general.

 

Small variations in dose could cause symptoms to worsen so its good you have an accurate scale now.

 

Are you still losing weight?  Has the reinstatement helped with sleep?

 

It would be helpful if you added your reinstatement to your signature...dose and date. 

 

Since reinstating would you say your symptoms have got worse, stayed the same or got a little better? 

 

Another thing to consider is supplements.  Are you taking any?  Many people find magnesium and fish oil helpful.  But even these are occasionally not well tolerated by a sensitized nervous system.

 

Its encouraging to see that you're having some good days.  Stabilization happens in a windows and waves pattern, just like recovery.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hello petunia, thanks for responding! i was getting alittle disheartened that nobody was responding to me thread. My Weight has stopped going down, but it is not going back up like it did when i first started mirt. It can fluctuates by as much as 4 pounds in a day, but it's staying in the same zone, its still a bit lower than my weight was before this entire mess started... before that CBD oil. I am eating differently now, not as much sugar and greasy foods... but i am still eating just as much food overall as before. As for the reinstatement, when i went back on at 3.5 mg it helped almost instantly, i could sleep fine again. i notice nothing has really changed in the month and a bit since i reinstated. i might even feel little worse than i did when i first reinstated, but still nowhere near as bad as i was at 0mg. in general i still feel more unstable than i did prior to tapering, and keep in mind i didn't feel GOOD by any means before i started tapering, My days were just more consistent. so yeah, The lack of stability is alittle frustrating, but i don't really wanna add more =/ And about the supplements, i have tried quite a few things and have noticed a very wishy washy hit or miss pattern with just about everything.. or should i say "Do nothing at all, or make me worse" Most things do nothing, while others SEEM to make me worse. magnesium and fish oil seem to kinda work sometimes.. its so annoying having nothing that can give me any relief.

 

The last 3 days (and so far today) have been frustrating. i am worrying constantly and having headpressure/woozyness. i am just constantly worrying about my condition, worrying about if it will get better.. and constantly reminding myself i am 'unwell' i want my brain to just SHUUUT THE FUUUUCK UUUUUP. no matter how much i occupy myself, no matter what i do.. i cant get my brain to shut up. i only get relief in the later hours of the day, god this is so annoying.... im guessing this is a wave.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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Did you look at any of that stuff? What do you think?   I know it's confronting, and it makes you angry.  How's the depression?  Lot's of questions - sorry.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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I listened to a couple of videos with robert talking about the issue. Pretty interesting stuffs :o thanks

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It sure sounds like a wave Spork.     Any change in the past few days?

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Yeah things are alittle better now, last couple days the anxiety has calmed down a bit. it seems the depression and anxiety take turns.. sometimes getting depressed is the issue and other times its anxiety. the main issue for a couple weeks now has been anxiety with some depression here and there

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Cherish the good times Spork , they're a sign of continued healing.    Nice job with your sig. . . .how the heck did you get the computer to accept 17 lines?  

See how you are blessed , lol,

 

xxx

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Ehh, the sig is kind of a wall of text lol... but at least it everything there.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

Link to comment

I can only offer my own experience on your question..which I've been pondering for a few days. Being off the meds has made me realize how anesthetized I was, especially at the higher doses. I still meditated, and did some other healing practices. But I felt as though nothing helped. Perhaps it was the fact that I was so removed from my body that meant I couldn't actually feel if anything was helping or not.

 

My wife was also on meds (Effexor and Remeron). When she tried new things, I could see differences in her mood and how she handled things..but like me, she couldn't perceive that anything she tried was helping. We both had dealt with depression for decades though..so, it's hard to know to what extent it is depression itself, seeing the glass half-empty, as the source of that continued disconnect..or the meds.

 

I really question what's happening in the body/mind when the meds poop out. Why do we have to keep taking more? I came to believe it was because there's was something wrong with me...but off the meds, that's no longer what I think. I've come to see how much we pathologize normal human emotions, thoughts, and ways of being. We take those things out of context and make them wrong or "sick".

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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I can only offer my own experience on your question..which I've been pondering for a few days. Being off the meds has made me realize how anesthetized I was, especially at the higher doses. I still meditated, and did some other healing practices. But I felt as though nothing helped. Perhaps it was the fact that I was so removed from my body that meant I couldn't actually feel if anything was helping or not.

 

My wife was also on meds (Effexor and Remeron). When she tried new things, I could see differences in her mood and how she handled things..but like me, she couldn't perceive that anything she tried was helping. We both had dealt with depression for decades though..so, it's hard to know to what extent it is depression itself, seeing the glass half-empty, as the source of that continued disconnect..or the meds.

 

I really question what's happening in the body/mind when the meds poop out. Why do we have to keep taking more? I came to believe it was because there's was something wrong with me...but off the meds, that's no longer what I think. I've come to see how much we pathologize normal human emotions, thoughts, and ways of being. We take those things out of context and make them wrong or "sick".

thanks for posting free, it makes me feel better hearing stuff like that. you are surely right about pathologizing human emotions alright... i have lost the ability to tell normal lows from the illogical lows caused by my jacked up brain. just a few weeks ago i had to freaking rediscover boredom lol... i was going over in my head why i didn't wanna do a certain activity and i was thinking "oh im depressed then i guess... why else wouldn't i wanna do this?" then i came to realize i was just bored of it.

(November 26 2013) Had a reaction to taking CBD oil and had a panic attack that started this whole thing.

(November 9 2014) 8.6 months on Mirtazapine, started tapering down random amounts.

(January 17 2015) *STOPPED TAKING MIRTAZAPINE* after an unstable 2 month taper.

(February 5 2015) *REINSTATED at 3.9 MG OF MIRTAZAPINE* after nearly 3 weeks of a very unstable windows and waves pattern

(February 5 2015 ) Felt better right away after reinstating, am more stable than i was at 0mg, but am still not as stable as i was PRE-TAPER.

(April 19 2015) After waiting around 2 months from Feb 5 and i started to feel ok enough, i reduced from 3.9 mg to 3.5 mg. then continued to reduce by about .4 mg every 2 or so weeks.

The reductions were going quite smoothly and i wasn't feeling too bad in general... until...

(July 13 2015) Shortly after reducing from 1.9 mg to 1.6 mg i hit a wall and my mood started to become noticeably worse in general

(August 4) after not really improving much i reduced from 1.6 mg to 1.5 mg, and i have been holding ever since.

I feel bad in general these days despite holding, and feel im not too much better than i was during January 17 to February 5 after jumping off at 4 MG.

I am questioning if taking the drug is actually making me worse, i dunno.

 

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I think it's too easy to succumb to the belief that there's something "wrong". I'm not yet able to tease out what was meds and what wasn't in the sense that I kind of gave up on myself. I tried things, but was pretty half-hearted about if after meds. I became helpless in a way I'd never been before. I know part of it was that after decades of doing all different kinds of therapy and spiritual practice, I felt like a failure when I went on remeron.

 

I know what you mean though, about finding yourself believing it's depression, when it's something very basic. Yesterday, I was working on my taxes and was certain I'd saved before I closed the program..went back in and almost everything I'd spent over an hour entering had disappeared. I got frustrated, then immediately thought, "oh no, I'm going to have another round of WD rage"..a few minutes of deep breathing, I realized any normal person would probably be frustrated at this.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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