Whoopsie Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 One of these days, this horror and Grace filled journey will meet it's successful completion, maybe or maybe not.... Roughly seven years ago, this winter, I finally had the thought "These drugs are not doing me any good." The thought registered loud and clear, sitting in my sun porch, following another gloomy round of trying to figure out how to end my life without hurting anyone's feelings. I knew it would not be easy which is a gross underestimation of what this trip has really been. What was born in that moment was a spirit of fierce commitment and determination to make my life better, no doubt I have achieved that much for sure. I am keeping it short, just getting this intro portion done. I am off to do some volunteering today for a couple hours, followed by an exercise class, followed later by an art class. This is one of my full days which I love. This is new, me being out in the world again. I am in this moment, grateful that most of the morning has passed which is still the hardest part of the day. I can once again feel the arising of hope and willingness to live as the CNS revving softens. And I'm off ... A 20 year history of always a combo of 4 psych drugs sometimes more. At last I had this awakening thought "These drugs aren't doing me any good." I listened and at that point made the decision to taper off the last drug cocktail I was on of Celexa, Lamictal, Klonopin and Seroquel which I did in one year. (Shock and awe.) Drug free May 6/09. Sure is a slow healing process. "Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow." Alice Mackenzie Swaim Not a doctor ... blah, blah, blah. Not giving medical advise ... blah, blah, blah Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted January 23, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 23, 2015 Hi Whoopsie, Its good to see that you have beaten the drugs and got your life back after all those years. How did things improve for you? How long were you off the drugs before withdrawal started? That was quite a cocktail and I can imagine you must have had a really hard time, but sounds like it was hard anyway even before tapering. I was housebound and bedridden at one point before I started tapering, but felt better with each drop, went too fast and then had withdrawal which has been quite a ride but nothing compared to the years lost in a drug filled stupor. Thank you for starting your intro and for filling out your signature, it's good to know that you are doing so well. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Whoopsie Posted January 25, 2015 Author Share Posted January 25, 2015 Thank you for responding to my intro post MammaP. I'm having computer problems and will come back and post more here and replies to your questions when I get my laptop fixed. Let me just say that I'm proud of you for how far you've come getting off pdrugs and for helping out here as a moderator ... thank you. I feel that its forums like this one that save precious lives that have been affected so negatively by the medical establishment. I am grateful to Alto Stratta for having what it takes to create and maintain a forum like this one. Bless you all. A 20 year history of always a combo of 4 psych drugs sometimes more. At last I had this awakening thought "These drugs aren't doing me any good." I listened and at that point made the decision to taper off the last drug cocktail I was on of Celexa, Lamictal, Klonopin and Seroquel which I did in one year. (Shock and awe.) Drug free May 6/09. Sure is a slow healing process. "Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow." Alice Mackenzie Swaim Not a doctor ... blah, blah, blah. Not giving medical advise ... blah, blah, blah Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted January 26, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 26, 2015 Hi Whoopsie , welcome. You story sounds inspiring (and Lordy knows we could all do with some insoiration !!). Please keep posting. ; ) Fresh 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 28, 2015 Administrator Share Posted January 28, 2015 Welcome, it's my friend Whoopsie! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Whoopsie Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hello Fresh, thank you for the interest in my story and I do hope ultimately it will be inspiring to others. I have healed I'd say 80% of the way and hoping the remaining nerve pain, muscle tension, dr/dp, fear and low tolerance for stress will right themselves over the next year or two.Big wave to Alto Stratta, thank you for the welcome to your forum. Still haven't got my computer fixed so it's hard to type with the cursor bouncing around and then suddenly losing all the text. I am on it, won't be much longer. Nothing moves fast in my world. A 20 year history of always a combo of 4 psych drugs sometimes more. At last I had this awakening thought "These drugs aren't doing me any good." I listened and at that point made the decision to taper off the last drug cocktail I was on of Celexa, Lamictal, Klonopin and Seroquel which I did in one year. (Shock and awe.) Drug free May 6/09. Sure is a slow healing process. "Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow." Alice Mackenzie Swaim Not a doctor ... blah, blah, blah. Not giving medical advise ... blah, blah, blah Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 5, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 5, 2015 Hi Whoopsie, welcome from me too. I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story. How did you taper off your last cocktail? What has your recovery process been like? Did you get windows? Were there any major 'turning points'? I hope you get your computer fixed soon. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now