Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Arcticjessy: Please help


Arcticjessy

Recommended Posts

No that's fine Rhi i appreciate your honesty.

 

I really have no idea what to do I'd be lying if I said I did not at times feel suicidal which is a feeling I have never had in my life. I just don't see a end to this yet my previous happiness tells me this is not me.

 

Thank you again

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

Arcticjessy, this will be better! You have only to wait a little.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Arcticjessy,

I just read through your thread.  I'm so sorry about what you are going through, unfortunately we hear similar situations here all the time.  If the way you are feeling now, is different from the way you felt before starting on antidepressants, then this is not the return of a previous condition.  This is a new condition, its called antidepressant withdrawal syndrome and most doctors don't recognize it, but some do and there are a few in various parts of the world who actually have quite a bit of experience with it.

 

According to medical knowledge, reinstatement is the only way to alleviate withdrawal symptoms.  But in your situation, its been a long time since you stopped taking Prozac and so it may not work and could possibly make you feel worse.  But there's a small chance that a low dose might help.  As others have suggested, as little as 1 - 2mg may be enough to reduce withdrawal symptoms.

 

I'm in protracted withdrawal and have experienced all the awful things you're going through now, it does get better over time, but it can take a while.  I tried to reinstate and I also tried to take another drug, after being in withdrawal for over a year, and it didn't work for me, it made me worse and the second time I tried, the setback lasted a long time, but everyone is different, and there are members here who have been able to stabilize on a reinstatement after being off for a long time.

 

Like Rhi, I wish I could give you some good news, but unfortunately you are now part of a community you never wanted to join.  You wont be here for ever, and while you are here, you can find a lot of understanding and support and helpful advice about how to manage what you're going through.  Eventually you will recover and be back to the way you were before, or close to it, but I can't say how long it will take.

 

I suggest you go back through your thread here and read through all the links which have been posted for you and check out the videos which are linked at the bottom of my signature.

 

Post as often as you need to and let us know if you decide to try a small reinstatement.  I'm sorry that you have to be here, but I'm glad you found us.

 

Petunia.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment

Thank you for your kind words.

 

I read Dr Shipkos article saying this May be permanent and I'm now very down.

 

I'm too scared to try reinstatement, what if I'm close to seeing improvement and it sets me back that is what I keep thinking and it has been 8 months since I took prozac. I have to try and stay positive

 

Thank you again

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

I do not think it would be permanent.And until it disappears we have all each other to find support and understanding. I wish you that it goes away very quickly for you and that you can continue living your life happily and without problems.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I read Dr Shipkos article saying this May be permanent and I'm now very down.

 

Dr. Shipko specializes in extreme cases and even if he does have a minority of patients who haven't yet recovered after several years, he still can't say with any accuracy that their condition is permanent, and he doesn't, he says it may be permanent that's because he doesn't know.  They may be taking longer to recover, but its just as likely that in time, even people with long term withdrawal will start to improve.

 

But I don't see you as being an extreme case, not even close.  You were on one drug for about 13 years and have only been off it for 8 months, that's still early days.  You are young and otherwise healthy.  It may take a few years before you are fully recovered and it may take a few more months before you start to feel better, but you will recover in time, especially if you follow the good advice here.

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

Take a look at my drug history below, I was on SSRIs for 13 years, plus a lot of other drugs, I'm quite a bit older than you too, which often means slower recovery, but I'm getting better, not as fast as I would like, but getting there.

 

Feeling really negative and thinking that we are going to be the one who doesn't recover seems to be quite common, I would almost call it another withdrawal symptom.  I went through a stage of thinking I was never going to get better, at times now I slip back into thinking that way, but all I have to do is read back through my own introduction thread and its obvious that I am getting better.

 

If you keep posting here or make notes about your progress in another way, it can be a good reminder to look back on when we are having some bad days or are in a wave.  Have you seen the  The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery    topic?

 

It will help if you can put your drug history in your signature, include any over the counter drugs and supplements. 

 

You will find instructions for that here. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Here's how to add your signature from a phone or tablet:

 

http://survivinganti...nature/?p=84105

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Just wanted to stop in and say I feel your pain, you are not alone and this is not all in your head.

 

That is one of the hardest things about wd is that doctors,friends, and family don't believe us. They think it is a return of depression and its so hard to then feel misunderstood on top of being in the pit of hell.

 

I also have a young child and it's killing me to not be functional like I was just a few months ago. It's so so so so hard and I also get suicidal thoughts because no one wants to exist in a state of to torture. I'm in the process of reinstating, but no magic bullet yet. The sleep is the hardest aspect of it for me.

 

Hang on.

HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years)

Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg  02/14; 5mg  04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14;

 

Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg;  05/01/15  6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg

 

2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg;  02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml  05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg 

 

Link to comment

Hi

 

Thank you

 

I think it is one of the toughest things to be not believed or supported by your doctor because then you are constantly questioning yourself replaying conversations with doctors over and over in your head getting more and more upset and frustrated that they don't believe you, this only makes depression worse. My doctor told me that ssri do not cause long term damage and that I have to accept that I have a mental illness now, I tried to say I never felt like this before taking them but she simply said that mental illness often gets worse and it was easy to blame the pills. I want to be not angry at her because she simply does not know the truth but it's hard to argue with a professional without looking more disturbed than you already are and I want to be seen as the intelligent woman I am. So I generally just nod and leave. I genuinely do believe in years to come long term ssri treatment will be viewed in the same way the we now view lobotomies.

 

The sleep is very tough and napping is impossible even if I can manage to lay long enough to try and nap the sleep never comes I just hover on the edge until I become too agitated and have to move.

 

I hope reinstating works for you, I feel Iv left it too long to try I would happily sacrifice my arm for relief but what I'm too scared to mess.

 

Good luck x

 

AJ

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi ArcticJessy , I've updated my signature , take a look.   You do have options.

 

Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

How do I get on your signature fresh ? I can not seem to get the gang of this site yet.

 

Aj

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

It's under my post AJ , at the bottom.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

It's not showing, maybe it is because I'm in my phone rather than my laptop I will look later. Are you doing ok ?

 

Aj

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

Of course the dumb doc says mental illness often gets worse. That's been happening for years since the advent of these nasty drugs and it is probably all she knows. In the old days even bipolar was episodic and apparently resolved after a nice stay in a mental hospital, never to return. Broad strokes, I know, but I have read that in various places.

 

I relate to the inability to take a nap...just as you described. Maddening, as. I used to be able to take long refreshing naps in the afternoon.

 

Hang in there. It is indeed early days. I never thought my morning terror and all day horror would end, but they have, gradually, and with no help from doctors or drugs. I'm still subpar in mood, ability to enjoy, sleep, self-regard, etc, but I am not in the icy hot grip of the "hell helmet."

 

As for Dr Shipko, I will be seeing him late in the month and try to get some general info out of him, see if he knows anything new about people like us, how we fare, and what might help us.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

Link to comment

Hey

 

Your post made me a little emotional, knowing there is a good chance this "hell helmet" will go is amazing. Did you feel the terror ? I do not even use the word anxiety anymore as that does not convey the true horror of it. I know that feeling is not a natural state for the brain to be in despite that my doctor tells me that I'm describing anxiety. I have woke in the night to it and begged for death and although it is not that extreme constantly I can feel it lurking in the background waiting for it's moment.

Please pass on any info Dr Shipko gives you and thank you

 

AJ

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

I wondered if anyone has any tips on getting through the terror/ horror times. It's the only symptom I feel I truly cannot cope with.

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

What I did was say to myself things like "This will pass.   It always does.  It comes and then it goes away again.  That's what happens every time. It will go away , it always does. No-one has ever died from anxiety.   This will pass".

 

I wrote out a few sentences like this and would read them often.   I tried not to buy into the panic , the terror , the feeling that I may burst out of my skin , the fear that I would be like this forever. 

 

Instead I tried really hard to be logical and sensible and calm.   

 

It did help me.

 

Best ,

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

It's very hard Articjessy..when do you have this? Just the mornings? How long does it last when it happens? I haven't found anything to be honest..but I'm comforted that it will eventually go away with time.

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

Link to comment

Thanks fresh, I do try to calm myself but god it's tough, it throws me right back into the "this is forever" thinking. It's genuinely makes me suicidal not that I want to die I just feel I need to get away from that terror.

 

Joannad. I find it comes mainly late afternoon and evening and then in the night. The mornings are bad for depression and the cortisol wakes me every morning at 6 after a rubbish sleep but it's better than the terror. I have had it a few times in the morning but it's usually around 4.30 it starts. I'm still in the stage where I am finding this really hard to believe that this is happening to me, how I can go from working full time and being in the gym 5 days a week and being a mummy, to a complete wreck all in a year because of some medication I did not even think twice about taking. I'm praying for my physical and mental health back and that for everyone suffering.

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Arcticjessy - 

 

I just want to say hello, and I'm sorry you had to go through what you did - but I'm glad you found us!

 

This may be one of the few places in the world where withdrawal & serotonin syndromes are accepted without a blink.

 

I hear you when you say:  how can the doc be so clueless?

 

I just went to a meeting where a Danish research chemist / MD spoke about the horrible hazards of these drugs, and the criminality of marketing and prescribing them (Dr. Gotzsche).  Did the psychiatrists in the room listen to him, a world renowned researcher who has been cited 20,000 times in the literature?  NO, they argued with him, and talked about the need for forced treatment and anti-psychotic drugs.  The only ones in the room who "got it" were the patients (like myself) and natural health providers (chiropractic and acupuncture) and a few (but only a few) psychologists.  Robert Whitaker called it an "Anatomy of an Epidemic" because this ignorance is so widespread.

 

These doctors are educated by medical schools built and funded by the drug companies.  The "clinical trials" are funded by - the drug companies.  The continuing education in Hawaii and the Bahamas are funded by - the drug companies.  The JOURNALS that publish the new studies and latest medical treatments are funded by - the drug companies.  It's Epidemic, and it is, as Dr. Gotzsche said, "Criminal."

 

So a crime has been committed and you are thrashing around in your hell helmet - and you can't get anyone to believe it.

 

Well, have you heard of women in the military getting up successful rape charges when are run over by the "military culture?"  Nope, that doesn't happen - the CULTURE shoots it down.

 

I'm not saying this to discourage you, but mainly to answer your question about "Why don't they believe me?"  It is NOT because of you - the CULTURE does not accept any other model of illness from the one which has been currently entrenched in the last 50 years.  And is worst, in psychiatry.  (it is one of my porpoises to shine lights on as many as I can while I still live.)

 

CAN you find another doctor?  Do you need a doctor?  Maybe you need a naturopath or acupuncture?   Maybe you could take a yoga class, since you seem to like that - or if you cannot leave the house, go on youtube and find different yoga and meditation videos that are pleasing to you.

 

This agony is a waiting game.  The more you can distract yourself by waiting, the better.  

 

Mindfulness is a valuable tool.  Here's  a sample:  RIGHT NOW:  what is a color you see?  what is a sound that you hear? what is a texture you can feel?  a scent you can smell? a piece of food you can taste?  Cherish all of these things, they may not come all at once, but let's just say you look out one day and notice a fluffy cloud in front of your window.  For 5 seconds, it's just you, and the cloud.  5 seconds is easy, right?  Then, look forward to the next 5 seconds that you feel/sense something (it may be over an hour away, but it will be there, as long as you are still alive)

 

I think you said you are taking magnesium - I just wish to check that you are not taking ineffective or unhelpful magnesium.  For example, people here have found Magnesium Oxide to be not very well absorbed (only about 7%) while Magnesium Citrate is very well absorbed (but gives me diarrhea), and Magnesium Orotate seems to be the best in absorption and ability to tolerate.  But when you switch - because of your sensitivity, start small, like 1/2 tablet, just to make sure it settles in okay. 

 

Another way to get magnesium is through magnesium baths.  The cheapest of these is Epsom Salts, available at your grocery.  I'm a big fan of Magnesium Chloride salts, which are about 5x stronger than Epsom.  But in this forum, "stronger" is not always "better."  Put about 1 cup of epsom salts in warm water (not hot) and soak for about 20 minutes.  Make it a ritual, light candles, play music.  (I'm a nerd, I read in the bath!)

 

Okay, that's enough for one night.  Overall I agree with CW that reinstatement is a dangerous game, and with Rhi, that if you decide to do it be very very (one more) very careful, and only try tiny tiny (one more!) tiny doses.  Otherwise, you're looking at 1.  possibly MORE symptoms (like you need that?) or 2. yet ANOTHER withdrawal (I'm sure you don't want that!)

 

Your health will return, but time, and waiting, and being gentle with yourself  - are the key points.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment

Thank you

 

It seems that all I can do is wait as I'm far too scared to reinstate. I know I need to let this anger go but it makes me so mad this is happening, these are peoples lives being ruined, relationships, careers, all damages because we trusted a doctor. The nature of mental illness makes is so much worse, it's not like they can take a blood test and prove it is not our original state of mind returning, mental illness is subjective no one can know how your feeling.

 

I have started taking krill oil and magnesium citrate I'm hoping for positive results. Tonight I found myself watching the news for a short while I it was just ten minutes but it did happen is this a window ? I have not watched any television in months.

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I really understand the anger but I believe in the saying that being angry at someone else is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.  I try and channel my anger into healing so that I never give big pharma another cent and helping people here so that less people are in the grips of this medication madness.  I also talk to everyone about this and spread the word.  I am fighting back in every way I can.

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

AJ , I considered any time where I could engage in something "regular" , even for a short time , a window.    Just for a few minutes , the total self-absorption wasn't there.    Little windows of relief.

 

Here's to more of them :D

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

I just don't feel I can stand this anymore I'm so tired months of two hour sleeps. I was running 5 miles with weights in my rucksack just over a year ago, now I can't walk down the road without feeling like I will collapse. I'm so sick of this being my life being all I think about I don't know how to get out of this pit I'm in. I can't even remember who I was before ADs I was so young. I felt very happy on 10mg of prozac that is why I quit as I thought I would be fine off such a low dose. Sorry to moan

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

Has anyone had any joy with St. John's wort ? I know it can be troublesome for some, it's just I saw a report from Dr David Healy saying it can help with some. I would just like to have some functioning to get back to work part time as Iv been threatened with dismissal and I'm the only earner for me and my child. I understand I'm in this for the long haul but 30% functionality could keep me in my home..

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

I had some relief from 1.5mg melatonin AJ.

 

I just read  David Healy's article on withdrawal that talks about St John Wort.    He does say to be careful , and that it has it's own problems.

I'd try just a tiny dose at first to see how you respond.

Good find , thankyou.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Oooh, St. John's Wort.  No.  It's like Prozac, Junior.  It's the same class, acts on the same part of the brain, and can be overstimulating for someone who is in acute withdrawal - like you.  I wouldn't try it at all.  Wait until you've adjusted to your krill oil and magnesium citrate before you try anything else.

 

It does sound like a little time at the TV - even if only 10 minutes was either a window (Yay!) or at the very least, a distraction from the agony.  Both of these are good news.

 

I think you'll find the epsom salt baths soothing for akithisia.  It acts like a muscle relaxant, and can be very helpful for settling down and sleep.  I wouldn't try anything stronger than that just yet.

 

I see seriphos in your sig line.  Some people have had excellent results from that, but some people have thought it was money down the toilet, and other people had weird problems with it.  Again, I would wait until you've been on your krill oil and magnesium have settled in for at least 2 weeks, before trying it.

 

And then, take the smallest possible dose - like allergy testing - to see if you have any reactions before taking stronger or full doses.  In withdrawal, less is better, and slow is the fastest way!

 

Hope you see some more windows (or at least distractions!) soon!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment

Thank you.

 

Oh I just do not know what to do next. I make my mind up just wait it out and I understand this is a long term thing but it's so tough.

 

My main symptoms are

 

Panic/terror/horror that takes my breath away and has led me to feel I have no choice but to die to get away from it. Is this normal ? It's not constant but I feel it lingering in the background waiting for it's moment.

 

Deep depression that is like nothing I have had before.

 

Insomnia 2-5 hrs a night

 

No coordination can't walk straight.

 

Neck/ head pain

 

Blurred vision can't focus properly

 

Muscle jerks

 

Tinnitus

 

Agitation can't sit for long as it feels wrong somehow

 

Constant feeling of urgency like a desperate feeling that nothing is happening quick enough

 

Unable to speak for hours it's like the words just don't come out.

 

I got put on ssri for mild depression and for the last 6 years I took 5-10mg of prozac.

 

It's helped me to just write that down so It's fine if nobody can help too much.

 

I have had one day around 3 weeks ago that I felt 50% better I sat and watched a film I went for a litte walk and I played with my child. The next day I was disabled again. I do not have any other medical problems and used to be a athlete and trail runner I had a resting heart rate of 60 and a low BP will this help in recovery ?

 

Thank you

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

Hi Arctic. I feel for you. I know how overwhelming it can be dealing with intense withdrawal. My experience has been that when 

going through bad days  I think it will always be like this,and that's unbearable. However I've found a few things that help get me through another day.

Sharing what helps me might get you thinking about what might help you.

One is that  though I'm not a hugging type of person, getting a hug from someone calms me way down. I often end up sobbing and then feel better.

Another is getting out of the house. I like to go for long walks in parks, but you say walking is sometimes hard.

When I lived in London and was having a hard time, I rode around on the top of the buses a lot.

Looking out at the people and changing streets was a great distraction.Then I'd get off at parks and stroll and sit looking at the trees. 

If I'm freaking out and obsessing ( common part of withdrawal) I've found  "changing the channel"  with easy distraction can help get me through the day.

And remember every day you get through you're closer to recovery and getting your life back.

 

 

 

On 20 mg of Prozac for about ten years. Sept 2012 started reducing 10% a drop using gram scale, with average of one month holds.

When I'd reached the half way mark, taking 10 mg  powder out of the 20 mg capsules, I switched over to 10 mg capsules and cutting

down from those. Withdrawals got harder the lower I dropped.  May 2013 changed to 5% drops, holding until all withdrawal symptoms gone.

January 2015 changed to liquid prozac (concentration of 20MG per 5 mL) using a 1mL oral syringe.

Current dose of fluoxetine solution equivalent 3.4 mg. Any effort to drop below this has been disastrous so for the time being I'm staying at this level.
Adding 200 mg Tryptophan and 200 GABA a day has helped with anxiety.
Also take 1,300mg Omega- 3,  875mg  Magnesium, 1800mg Curcumin, 1000mg Vit C, 5000 Vit D.
 

 

Link to comment

Hi aj, I'm 15 months off of paxil ct and having a horrible time too, I have most of your symptoms but a few other as well. I have had very small windows like you too, first 20 mins, then a few hours and then 12 hours. The thing is I had a bad reaction to 2 meds and I made some bad decisions during my withdrawal period and now I am paying for it. Please avoid drinking any caffeine if you haven't stopped it already because it made me very ill.  These guys tell me most people completely recover and there has been much worse cases than us so we will get better even if it is very, very hard ( and I know believe me). I hope the best for you. :)

Paxil 2007-2012, somnolence for a few months so quit, anxiety gets severe again, put on citalopram (horrible reaction). Used august 2013-September 2013, quit and doctor reinstates paxil (reaction again ) on from sep to dec. Quit cold turkey and suffer problems to this day

 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Arcticjessy,

 

I'm sorry you are suffering with this.  The ruminations and thoughts that this will never get better -- catastrophic thinking -- are all part of the withdrawal syndrome.  There are odd cases of people who have suffered for longer term but the vast majority of people do recover on a more reasonable time frame.  You will be one of them -- don't think otherwise.

 

For all who are interested, attached is a link to a free series that is live today on the Future of Mental Health and the first speaker, who will be available for 24 hours, is none other than Robert Whitaker (I posted that here because someone mentioned Anatomy of an Epidemic).  In order to watch you need to sign up.  I have not watched any of these and all should watch at their own discretion.

 

Andy

 

https://www.entheos.com/The-Future-of-Mental-Health/Play

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

Link to comment

Thank you everyone

 

So the general opinion is reinstating prozac is too late ? Iv been off it 10 months. Just been told by work I'm no longer getting paid :(

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

Also Iv noticed that even though I rarely nap in the day, sometimes if I drop off even for a few seconds it's enough to set the fear response off. Like today I was exhausted after just a few hrs sleep but I did not feel too bad, I dropped off for like 5 mins exactly and when I woke I had to gasp for breath I felt like I was buzzing all over and now I have the fear. Sorry for all the questions just I need confirmation I'm not crazy

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

AJ  ,   sorry about your job situation.   Is this leave without pay , so the job will be ready for you when you're ready for it?

 

So many things you describe are "common" w/d symptoms.   If you want to medicalize it . . .

- the panic/terror/horror , and feeling like dying is the only answer ,  is part of akathisia

- muscle jerks and loss of co-ordination - psychomotor retardation

- agitation , "can't sit for long" , akathisia

- feeling of urgency , akathisia

- unable to speak , I think may be "thought-blocking".   I had that too , like my mind was working but I could only make a few words come out at a a time.

- buzzing all over , akathisia

- almost nodding off then jerking awake , myoclonic jerks.

 

You're most definitely not crazy.

 

xxx

 

p.s.    Do you have a bath?    My favourite helpful thing was hopping in and out of the bath.   I could only stay in it for a short time , but it felt wonderful , so I'd leave the water in and top it up with hot as needed.    I had lots of nights when I was in and out 6 or 7 times - sometimes had to stay in because I felt freezing as soon as I stood up to get out. :blush:

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Hey Fresh

 

I have not been dismissed but will no longer get paid from next month.

 

I think I'm just finding hard to come to terms with all this.. Even when the akathesia eases I feel so depressed I have no interest in anything I used to do, nothing means anything. I look at people talking about things on tele and I think are they faking that happiness, why do they care about that. It's so awful as I used to love life and took a Interest in everything, this is a million times worse than the depression I got put on meds for, I only felt sad back then I could still work and socialise. Will this depression ease up by itself in time ? I can't even seem to laugh anymore

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

The depression you feel now  WILL  disappear AJ.    Your old self is just waiting for the withdrawal to be done , then it can come back.    It's a matter of time.  :mellow:

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Thanks fresh actually smiled then ???? xxx

10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey.

Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet.

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy