Arcticjessy Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Also what dr healy said was that often what happens is the withdrawal issues start to clear up but merge into a stress syndrome that often persists for a long time. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
MollyN Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 That makes a great deal of sense - like ptsd caused by the wd? Drug history 20mg paxil in 2001 - 4 months use 20mg paxil in 2003 - 2 months use 20mg paxil in 2008 - 8 years continuous Withdrawal history: March 2014 - disastrous alternate day taper Jan 2015 - 15mg to 10mg. Disaster Sept 2015 - 10mg to 5mg. Disaster. Reinstated to 6mg. Relief Oct 2015 - started slow 10% taper Oct 2016 - at 4mg- stop taking paxil (not recommended) I'm not a medical professional. Seek advice from a knowledgeable medical practitioner. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hi AJ, I am very sorry you are going through this too! It seems you have been away for a long while, how are things improving/changing? How long have you been since the CT? Like Molly said, you have survived so far which is a great achievement. Things should be at the turning corner soon if they havent yet. Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 9, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hi AJ , good to hear you're okay. For anyone reading , the Healy article can be found here http://davidhealy.org/rxisk-stories-withdrawal-from-antidepressants-vs-story/?replytocom=4753 As with anything you're going to try , just start with a teeny dose. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Thanks Fresh, good to hear from you. MollyN yes is was a good read and seemed to make a lot off sense. Withdrawal and CT put your body through so much that it merging into another disorder such as PTSD or cfs makes a lot of sense, but it makes me hopeful I will recover. Hi Lex. I found the CT so traumatic I find it very hard to talk or think about much without crying or panicking it will come back. My main issues are chronic fatigue, migraine type headaches, blurred vision, dizziness and pain, I feel like I have to contort my spine to relieve the pain but in reality nothing does relieve it. I unconsciously hold all my muscles tight which obviously causes the pain. The other day I went for my eyebrows shaping for the first time since all this and, as I laid on the bed I realised I was holding my back in a upward curve and had to consciously think about relaxing it. I still have insomnia and even when I do sleep it feels like I am missing a stage of sleep, I do still have the cortisol rushes in the morning but not every morning and I rarely have the massive muscle jerks that would lift me off my bed. My mood is up and down but rarely gets so bad I become suicidal as in the beginning, the feeling of anxiety are still pretty bad. I'm hopeful for the future and hopeful for everyone suffering too 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Hi AJ, I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through! Good thing is you are off the drug for a quite while which is the first and biggest success! You expressed it so well about how you feel on the spine. I feel absolutely the same that my spine is the main part I feel I need to massage for relieve as spine is the center of most nerves. I found power walking, swimming hels a lot. If you have someone at home can give you just couple of snuggling on your upper spine area, it relieves tension and pain immediately. I desparetely go to gym even I feel very sick everyday for the relieve as I live alone, spine is the only area I can't reach myself. I recently tried a massage chair which helps but not as good as human. I am too found myself in constant hold, every one of my muscle, face, head, neck, entire body, clenching my teeth etc. exercise is my main strategy here too. Stretching, deep breathing helps too. You will see the light soon I believe, Hugs Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Lex. Thank you for that, it gave me a lot of comfort to read. I really struggle with exercise, I was superfit prior to withdrawal but now I feel so tired I struggle to clean my house. I do at least try do some yoga everyday and sometimes in the evening I can do a 20 minute power walk. Something I do still have is the feeling I have to keep moving, it's not like the really bad akathasia in the beginning but a feeling of needing to be in constant motion. It's vile and the symptom that I would most like to get rid off. I have found a new Dr who is very sympathetic but does not know what to do and that is fine for the moment. She did start me on propranaol though and although I haven't had any bad reaction I don't feel it is doing anything, but I'm only taking 10mg. I do have my little one back living with me part time though and that is amazing. I hope one day to be the mum I was before, I worry everyday how it effects him. X 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 My main sxs are physical pains/ numbness etc until recently so I had energy for exercise a lot. But even during this round of cut, I feel very sick and weak most days and hours, I still push myself out for gym. I often found myself in half drunk status while workin out, but once I'm done, I still feel better. The best exercise for me is swimming which is safe and shooting to the nerves of entire body. I hope you can try it sometimes. Oh, that part is the most difficult, how our situation will I,pact our children! My son is grownup, even though, its my highest concern all the time how much negative impact of my setback on him emotionally and practically. It's very sad, but we have no control over it. The most important thing now is to take care of ourselves to be able to contribute in future, or at least make less negative impact. I read tons of stories here and online, once you are through the initial year or two after stopping, it's time for healing to show up. Believe me you are done with the most difficult part already. I wish I were in that stage. Oh one more thing I forgot to mention earlier, I have been having constant mid/low back pain caused by the constant and extreme tight/ pulling muscle. Do you find similar issue? If so, how did it go over time? I just had my X-ray done which didn't find anything but I'm still not sure if it caused any structure change. Be hopeful and wait for the good signs of healing, Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Yesterday evening I found a little energy and went out on my bike, I ended up going further than I planned and last night I could not sleep until the early hrs then very fitfully, hard exercise really revvs me up and I hate that as I did a triathlon 4 years ago and apart from my child if is my proudest achievement. I really don't know how I could have been on antidepressants for so long and not know that you can't just stop taking them, I beat myself up everyday about what I have put my mind and body through. If only I could go back and slow taper. But we can't go back so have to make the most of the here and now. To be honest Lex Iv not found anything to relieve the spine pain fully. I twist and contort to try and ease it but nothing works fully. What helps is magnesium, I take natural calm, also hot baths with magnesium salts. I occasionaly get a massage and although it s nice it doesn't really stop the pain. Does your jaw hurt. ? Mine does but not as much as before. I take ibrophen most days which also helps a little. I notice you say you often feel sick, me too it come in waves almost like morning sickness. My Dr is considering a CFS diagnosis but I almost don't want it, I don't see how putting that label on me will help my situation. Sending you a cyber hug for Sunday 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 So heartbroken thinking that every enjoyment of life being ripped off and in consistent pain, sickness and struggling! I tried magnesium once but it caused immediate muscle spasms/twitch so I stopped. I just started physical therapy which doesn't seem do anything. Oh, I also sought chiropractor he actually helped a lot at least temporarily. My jaw pain was the only symptoms back 2 years ago before the whole thing broke loose, but the severity of the jaw pain stopped me further reducing dose that was how bad it was, driving me nuts. After lot changes with dose, etc the jaw pain is not that intense or more like comes and goes, replaced by massive needling pain, deep weirded pain allover my head, face, neck, shoulders, back with killing power. It's good you can still take pain killer. Ever since my fist panic induced by cutting down to 2.5mg years back, pain killer always causes severe tension headache which can only be controlled by increasing lex dose. That was how actually my dose has been up and down so many time thanks to the multiple pain killer reaction. My energy level used to be fine even with all the sever pains and distress until this round. Going to gym and riding bikes when my back allows is the only thing I was able to keep. This round took away pretty much everything as I found myself always want to lie in bed feeling sick and weak. My congnitive ability is severely impacted as well this time, has to break down a small presentation in Several time. Don't lose hope, AJ. You are very close to the start of feeling better. It can be any day indeed. Just hold for a bit more and you will find the well deserved reward! Love and hugs to you, Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 I have an appointment to see Dr Healy, my GP was happy to refer me as she agrees my problems are related to the years on Prozac. I'm hoping he can at least give me some advise. I almost cracked and took zoplicone last night after three nights with 2 hrs sleep. I didn't though as I'm terrified of any drug that will cause more anxiety or panic. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 I tried a very small amount of mitrazapine last night, about 1mg and did get some sleep not loads but some. This is the first psych drug Iv tried in 18 months, if I took this once or twice a week is this likely to hurt? Sleep is very bad at the moment and is making me quite desperate and sad. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 24, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 24, 2015 It's not a good idea to use these drugs on an occasional basis AJ. Erratic use will bounce your cns around , you'll get w/d symptoms each time it wears off. I may be wrong , but my understanding is that it would be best for you to take 1mg every night. Reassess after a week. That's great news that it seemed to agree with you . . . my fingers are crossed for a great result. 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 Made me feel very drugged and teary the next day. It's the strangest thing, I can go to bed so tired I can hardly get undressed but within half an hour of laying in bed I'm wired and wide awake, I can literally stare through my eye balls until the light comes through the curtains. I'm going to wait until Iv seen Dr Healy next month hopefully he can at least suggest something. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
KLA324 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 AJ - I've read your entire thread and, although I have nothing to help, I wanted to just leave a post to say how brave and strong you have been through this. I hope one day very soon you are able to read through your thread and see that, even though it started out with the words of a frantic, desperate woman, you took control of your health and came out the other side even stronger. Hugs for you and your son and you are in my prayers, Karen 1999-Wellbutrin for anxiety/depression-CT after less than 1 yr with no prob 2000-2010-AD (can't remember which) a few times for a few months-CT each time with no prob 2012 - Ambien (sleep) and Propanolol (public speaking anxiety) Jan 2013 - Apr 2014 - Sertraline (25, then 50mg) Ambien after bout with depression Apr 2014 - Apr 2015 - Sertraline 100mg and Amitriptylene 25mg-CT in May/June. Did notice increased anxiety, moodiness. Aug/Sept 2015 - Trazodone 50mg (11 days for sleep), Phentermine 37.5mg 11 days), Tramadol 50mg (2 days for kidney stone pain) Oct 2nd - CT from Trazodone and Phentermine - CRASHED 2 days later. Severe depression, anxiety, constant crying RI Oct 15th - Citalopram 10mg daily, Vitamin D, Fish Oil Capsule, Magnesium, Simply Sleep at night. Will start weaning 11/15 if stable. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 Thank you KLA that's so very kind. I wish you all the best too. Can I ask anyone how long the cortisol rushes AM lasted. I'm still getting them well over a year after withdrawal stopped. Not every morning but at least half of the morning I will get the rush at 7.30. Sleep after is like trying to knit with fog. It's Makes me mad and teary. Iv tried magnesium, vit c, zinc, baby asprin and lactium. Nothing really works. I read high cortisol makes you ugly in the paper yesterday. Causes inflammation and ruins your muscles and skin. I know that's not the complete truth but it ended up in tears again. I'm not shallow but have always cared for my skin and body and it true I have aged very fast in 18 months. I have a lot more wrinkles round my eyes, my skin has sagged and I look very very tired constantly. I know It should be the least of my worries and maybe it's a good sign that I actually care now. X 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 Just updating hope to look back on this one day. The insomnia wore me down in words I can't give it justice to. Earlier this year I got a bug that wouldn't clear with antibiotics, I also developed cysts that became infected and I needed Iv antibiotics and surgery, they took months to heal and would open up again for no reason. Being in hospital was traumatic. I kept having visions of being told on here not to take any psychotropic medication again and ended up refusing anaesthetic and having one removed with only local anaesthetic which is something I will never forget. I have no doubt in my mind that the lack of sleep and resulting depression led to the infection. Still taking no medication. Still living a extremely difficult life still hopeful for improvement in sleep and mood. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 I am sorry for your health troubles in the last time. I understand this fear of anesthetic, I had to have root canal cleaned by the dentist, and I had to take anesthetic - carbocaine, and I had such adverse reaction, I thought I would not survive it - anxiety, suicidal depression, dizziness, but after some time it dissappeared. I think our bodies are very sensitive after stopping these drugs and dont react always in a reasonable way. It is great that you still try to overcome everything without drugs. It shows that you have strong character. How long are you already without drugs? Did any of the symptoms resolve already by you? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 Carbocain is that local anaesthetic martina? I had local and had no real issues but the full anaesthetic left me very very depressed and agitated and I didn't sleep for 3 nights. I stopped Prozac in May 2014, I did try amiltriptyline a few months ago but it left me with insomnia and extremely teary and revved up so I stopped. I do occasionally take diphenhydramine but nothing else. I hate living with this depression it makes me very ill I wish I had the courage to accept treatment. X 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Arcticjessy, if you want then accept the treatment, but it will be also not without problems. Because I see also on you that your body no longer accepts these drugs, that you also have this sensitivity reaction. But oh my god if you really really want to go on medication then just do it. I would not do it myself because I can not really work under medication, I feel so zombie like and that something is missing- probably my soul. But there are people which are naturally depressed who feel better on medication- everybody has to decide it for himself. And how is your child? You had a son, isnt it? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 Yes you are 100% right martina they work very well for some people. Antidepressants are neither the devil or a panacea, they save as many as they damage. The problem is the massive problem of reckless over prescribing that has destroyed many peoples lives and health. prescribed as intended short term and for the very very sick they help enormously but unfortunately that was not financially beneficial for the pharmaceutical peeps and thus we suffer. I cannot take them as I'm too scared, it is unfortunately not a option for me, if I could I would which is something I never thought I would say two years ago. He is very well thank you so much for asking not with me all the time but as much as possible which is a blessing. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 Martina, Iv just re read my post and it didn't read like I wanted to. What I meant to say is your right they do help some and I do have quite severe depression but I just can't psychologically take after all I have gone through coming off them. I'm glad you are doing ok without them and a little jealous in a nice way 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Arcticjessy, I understood it ok. You dont need to be jealous, my intrusive thoughts are still here, I am sure you would not like to have them:-) But severe depression is also not comfortable. Mine went already away. But it is good that you can enjoy your time with your son. It seems that you have also good parents - I remember they help with his care or something like that. I envy you this that you have such good parents. Mine wanted only to push me on drugs. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm sorry you do not get support martina, I'm lucky in that way but my parents also want me to take drugs but that because they do not understand and I don't expect them to because I wouldn't either. I used to get such bad intrusive thoughts, it was the reason I had to live alone as I was too scared what I was capable off, I still get them now but not as often and I pay them no mind.. I slept better last night but it has plunged my mood lower than normal, heavy sleep always does that which is a mystery 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I also get intrusive thoughts. It was already much better but yesterday came a wave and I got them again very strogly. Actually today in the morning I got so frustrated, it is already one year off and there was no change in them. I had to take care of my children in spite of intrusive thoughts as in other case if my parents saw that I am not managing the situation they would surely try to push me to the psychiatry and I wanted to avoid it. It is not easy but I learned to accept some uncertainty in life and accept that hopefully temporarily I have them. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted September 14, 2016 Author Share Posted September 14, 2016 (edited) *post and responses moved from success stories forum I wonder if it is normal for healing to stall. I'm around 3 years off a cold turkey of 15 years and nothing has changed in over a year.I find more sleep makes my symptoms much worse. When I say more I mean anything more than 5-6 hrs.I went onto ads for depression so I know I can expect a return of it but it is much worse than I remember, a soul crushing emptiness than makes everything seem completely pointless.I try very hard to fight it.I'm considering ect over medication, this is not something I'm considering lightly I fully understand the risks but living without any joy is not how I want to live. Edited September 19, 2016 by Petunia posts moved and note added 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 I'm so sorry that things have slowed down in your healing. Keep pressing on. Your time will come. <3 Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
tntd Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Hi Arcticjessy, I'm so sorry to hear that you are in so much misery. I know that the withdrawal emotions can be more intense than the original ones but at three years off I don't know if that still applies. Are there any other options you have considered that are non-medical? I use something called an Alpha-Stim http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4829-alpha-stim-fisher-wallace-sota-biotuner-pons-and-similar-devices/ that is supposed to be effective for depression. TMS also has helped some people.http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3957-tms-transcranial-magnetic-stimulation/ Do you take or have you tried fish oils? They have been shown to help with depression at higher doses. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/page-1 Know that you are in my thoughts and I hope you can find something that will help you feel better. Hugs and healing Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage. Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady 11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x 01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able; 09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day. 1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg. 5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted September 15, 2016 Author Share Posted September 15, 2016 Thank you.. In the uk TMS is not available, I have my name down for a clinical trial but not sure if it's going to happen. I still get the intense cortisol rushes when I try to sleep that I got 30 months ago, I can be trying to sleep and hear a tiny noise and waves and waves of whatever vile chemical/ hormone it is wash over me. When I do eventually drop off its light dreamy/ nightmare sleep where I feel I'm half being dragged out of it. I always sleep with my mouth open and I wake just 2 hrs later confused and trembly just like in the beginning. I feel completely traumatised by my experience of cold turkey, I had a very nice psychiatrist up until last year who understood the trauma and really didn't want me to take meds ever again but he has now retired. His replacement is the complete opposite and assured me in his 30 years of practice he had never come across a patient too sensitive to take medication! I'm not surprised by his comments Iv heard them all in 3 years but it still hurts knowing you have no one on your side. I just don't know what to do now I take fish oil and turmeric and magnesium. When Drs talk to me about chemical imbalances and clinical depression I know I have that now but it's the drugs that have caused the imbalance not my genes. I used to try to get them to agree but now I save my breath Iv learned there is no point. I will always be viewed as the author of my own misfortune for refusing meds. I do occasionally wonder if I'm being stupid refusing treatment but I genuinely feel something changed in my brain when I cold turkey'd Prozac and I don't think it can be forced to change back. I have seen dr Healy who said if I was truly desperate the trycilics are less potent but I don't know if I can do that either. I genuinely feel I have a lot to live for but I often feel so low I don't want to go on living in this way 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
coldturkmama Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 You will heal....time is key. <3 Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout October 2013 quit cold turkey Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window Late November WD nightmare Windows and waves pattern Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. Link to comment
tntd Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Have you kept any kind of journal where you can look back and see any kind of improvement? Sometimes that helps a little as we try to deal with the waves. Your are in my thoughts, Hugs and healing Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage. Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady 11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x 01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able; 09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day. 1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg. 5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted September 18, 2016 Author Share Posted September 18, 2016 The most intense symptoms of withdrawal lasted 7 months so intense I cannot find words to fully describe what happened. After 7 months I was still in agony but I had lighter days where I would get a break for a few hours here and there, physically withdrawal has wrecked my body, the muscles in my neck and back spasmed so bad I'm unable to fully support my head, when sat I have to hold my chin up with my hand and I cannot sit in a chair for long without support it's constant non stop pain and the only treatment except physio therapy which only temporarily loosens the muscles is drugs like amitriptyline. I do keep a journal and I put happy things in as well as bad but I can honestly say there has been no change in over 2 years if anything this year has been worse maybe because I'm so upset about not making progress. My relationship ended last year, he was a very patient loving man but he deserves his chance to be happy too. I'm booked in to discuss ect next week, it's a huge decision and I'm very torn. I wish I could go back and not have gone cold turkey, I don't know what I was thinking but I can't so I have to look forward and be pro active. 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
tntd Posted September 18, 2016 Share Posted September 18, 2016 Arcticjesssy, My heart goes out to you. It sounds like it has been really rough. I wish I had more suggetions or ideas to help you. Let us know how things go with your consultation and what you decide to do. Your are in my thoughts. {{{{Hugs}}}} and healing to you Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage. Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady 11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x 01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able; 09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day. 1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg. 5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. Link to comment
NoMoreADs Posted September 19, 2016 Share Posted September 19, 2016 Thank you.. In the uk TMS is not available, I have my name down for a clinical trial but not sure if it's going to happen. I still get the intense cortisol rushes when I try to sleep that I got 30 months ago, I can be trying to sleep and hear a tiny noise and waves and waves of whatever vile chemical/ hormone it is wash over me. When I do eventually drop off its light dreamy/ nightmare sleep where I feel I'm half being dragged out of it. I always sleep with my mouth open and I wake just 2 hrs later confused and trembly just like in the beginning. I feel completely traumatised by my experience of cold turkey, I had a very nice psychiatrist up until last year who understood the trauma and really didn't want me to take meds ever again but he has now retired. His replacement is the complete opposite and assured me in his 30 years of practice he had never come across a patient too sensitive to take medication! I'm not surprised by his comments Iv heard them all in 3 years but it still hurts knowing you have no one on your side. I just don't know what to do now I take fish oil and turmeric and magnesium. When Drs talk to me about chemical imbalances and clinical depression I know I have that now but it's the drugs that have caused the imbalance not my genes. I used to try to get them to agree but now I save my breath Iv learned there is no point. I will always be viewed as the author of my own misfortune for refusing meds. I do occasionally wonder if I'm being stupid refusing treatment but I genuinely feel something changed in my brain when I cold turkey'd Prozac and I don't think it can be forced to change back. I have seen dr Healy who said if I was truly desperate the trycilics are less potent but I don't know if I can do that either. I genuinely feel I have a lot to live for but I often feel so low I don't want to go on living in this way Hi, I did TMS and it didn't do anything. I think it's just a hoax. 1992-Feb. 2016- Took almost every antidepressant on the market. Cold turkeyed most of the medications I took. Stopped taking Paxil February 8 2016. I tapered the dose from 50 mg to 0 over the course of about 10 weeks On no medications as of Feb. 8, 2016 As of 10/23/16-Still unable to sleep more than 4 to 5 hours a night, sometimes less Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted September 19, 2016 Author Share Posted September 19, 2016 Thank you tntd No more ADs everyone is different but thanks 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
Arcticjessy Posted September 28, 2016 Author Share Posted September 28, 2016 Will be having ECT at the end of October. Scared but cannot live with this quality of life any longer 10 months of venlaflaxine cold turkey. Prozac 20 mg for 13 years, the last 5 years taken every other day. Cold Turkey. Hellish terror. Deep melancholic depression, chronic insomnia, swing between akathesia and chronic fatigue. Vertigo, headaches neck pain and inner tremor. Taking magnesium and vit c. Just bought seriphos not tried yet. Link to comment
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