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Freedom15

Freedom15: reinstated amitriptyline after CT by doctor

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Just thought I’d pop by and see how you’ve been doing. 

 

Sending sunshine your way☀️☀️☀️

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Freedom15

Reducing tonight again.

 

Last reduction went a little easier.

 

Couple bad waves that lasted a day each.

 

Thanks for asking Carmie

 

Reducing to

 

10mg in 10ml water 1.25ml taken

 

Added to 2000ml water

 

0.02ml then taken from this solution

 

Dose is at 0.0000125mg I think if my maths are right

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ChessieCat

I've just worked it out backwards:

 

0.0000125mg : 0.02mL

 

multiply both by 100,000

 

1.25mg : 2,000mL

 

so it looks like you've got it right

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Glad to hear the last reduction didn’t go too badly. All the best with this next reduction.💚

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Just checking in to see how your last reduction went.💚

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Freedom15

Hi Carmie,

 

Sorry for the lateness in reply.

 

I have been wrapped up with getting married over past few weeks.

 

Its been vary emotional time so has been ups and downs with the meds.

 

I am reducing tonight.

 

10mg in 10ml water 0.6ml taken

 

Added to 2000ml water

 

0.03ml then taken from this solution

 

Dose is at 0.000009mg

 

 

 

 

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Carmie

Congratulations on your marriage Freedom,

 

I’m always amazed when I read your thread. Your doses are so tiny, it’s incredible how potent these meds are.  I’m really sorry you are struggling so much still, I wonder how low you would have to go to finally jump off?

 

Take care and make sure you get some rest too 💚

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Freedom15

Hi Carmie,

 

Thanks its amazing that even in all this chaos of the medicaiton i started and relationship and have now got married.

 

I think this just proves why people are getting in trouble when the doctors try to withdraw people from these medication.

I was told way back that i could be off the medication in 4 weeks with 25% drops.

Maybe some can do this but not all..

 

I have been reducing since 2015 and done possible over 200 reductions and as you see at a vary low dose now that the doctors

dont even understand.

 

I think i can do another 8 drops and will see then about dropping off.

As i am holding for 4 weeks thats another 8 months.

 

I made a commitment to reduce as low as i could get to give myself best chance when i drop off then its in the hands of GOD..

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Freeedom, 

 

Yes, doctors don’t seem to have a clue about tapering. You are on such tiny doses now and still having problems. Imagine if you listened to them and tried to come off in four weeks, that would have been terrible for you.

 

Wishing you all the best in your continued tapering, and also when you finally jump off. Keep us updated, sending hugs🤗

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Rachellynn

Wow! You are AMAZING!!! Are you off yet? 

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

I’m wondering how you’re doing too. I think about you quite a bit because you’ve been struggling so much on the tiniest of doses. Please keep us updated. I know it’s a hard journey, but I really look forward to reading your success story one of these days. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

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Freedom15

Hi Carmie and Rachellynn

 

I am preparing for my next reduction this sunday.

 

I will be reducing to

 

10mg to 10ml 0.6ml taken out

 

added to 2000ml water

 

then 0.02ml taken

 

This should give dose of 0.000006mg

 

Just keeping going slow and steady.

 

This months been the usall up and downs with not feeling good to being ok.

 

Always medicated and having side effects tho.

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Nice to hear from you. I’m glad you’re getting some windows in this rollercoaster journey. Yes, there’s no escaping withdrawals or side effects from these medications. We won’t know ourselves when we eventually heal.

 

Which brand of syringes do you use? 

 

Wishing you all the best with your next drop on Sunday.💚

 

 

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Freedom15

I am using Bd 1ml syringes with caps i make up a batch of 28 at one time which i then store in fridge.. 

 

Its alot easier than trying to deal with doing the syringes daily. And seems get a more consistant dose over them. 

 

 

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Carmie

Thanks for that Freedom,

 

I’m using the 5ml BD syringes. When I compared the 5ml syringes with the 1ml syringes the measurements were different. One ml of the 5ml syringe is not the same as the 1ml syringe. Very strange, as it’s the same company.

 

Take care💚

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Freedom15

Are the tips different ?

 

IE is the part that the needle would normally go on holding more or less i would think..

 

Anyway i have gone way past being able to use 5ml syringe now at the end of the 1ml almost and moving up and down few lines every time now. Doing it the best i can tho.

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Freedom15

So i have continued on with the reduction.

 

Its been few days so still feeling ruff from it.

 

The DWP have sent a ESA reassesment form out that got to fill out then send back and proberbly go for face to face assesment.

 

It creates alot of fear when this happens. My doctor is sending medical letter saying about whats gone on and that i cant work whilst doing

the reduction of the medication.

 

Also today has been tuff. My tinnitus has spiked it has not been like this for a long while.

 

Hoping its just temp with the withdrawl and go's back to what it was which was less intrusive.

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

How are you doing now since the reduction? 

 

Yes, I think the amount in the tips of the syringes are different. I’m eventually going to go to different syringes that were mentioned in the syringe section. I will have to do a crossover though, because the measurements will all be different. I actually use the 5ml syringes to suck up the 20ml of water. Still deciding how to do it all. Eventually I’ll probably have to add more water. Again, the cylinders I have, that I haven’t used as yet, also don’t correspond in measurement to the syringe. One day I’ll sit down and try and figure out what I’m going to do.

 

For now I’m just going to use my 5ml syringe until I get down to 5ml of the mixture. That will take about half a year or more. I’m taking 6ml of the mixture at moment. 

 

How’s your tinnitus, has it gone down a little. Hope you’re having a good weekend💚

 

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Freedom15

Hi Carmie,

 

Sorry for the slow reply.

 

My Tinnitus has become more profound again so i would presume that the medication was helping with it.

 

I have had to go back to using my white noise app to sleep.

 

Its been a testing time really because i find it plays into the anxiousness and aggitaition that i already have with the medicaiton.

 

I have been trying tho to not create fear from it.

 

I dont know how things will be after coming off meds as i had tinnitus and thats why i was put on the meds.

 

 

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Steve61
15 minutes ago, Freedom15 said:

Hi Carmie,

 

Sorry for the slow reply.

 

My Tinnitus has become more profound again so i would presume that the medication was helping with it.

 

I have had to go back to using my white noise app to sleep.

 

Its been a testing time really because i find it plays into the anxiousness and aggitaition that i already have with the medicaiton.

 

I have been trying tho to not create fear from it.

 

I dont know how things will be after coming off meds as i had tinnitus and thats why i was put on the meds.

 

 

You are a really great example of patience and perseverance, Freedom. I have Tinnitus and also noise sensitivity at different times. The tinnitus is far worse if I get water in my ears which I obviously do when I wash them ! It’s then bad for a couple of days and then eases off. It can cause anxiety for me. I try to ignore it, not give it any power but it’s difficult some times. I’m sure that the noise sensitivity is a withdrawal symptom but I’m not so sure about the tinnitus. I’ve had that for a long time not just in withdrawals.

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

I’m so sorry your tinnitus is ramping up again, it was caused from your work, wasn’t it? Are there any other treatments around that don’t necessitate taking meds? I guess having white noise on is the main one. Do you use white noise headphones a lot?

 

 I don’t know a lot about tinnitus, but I know what it feels like as I’ve had just brief ringing in my ears occasionally, it never lasts long though. I’m sorry you have it all the time. 

 

 I read your intro just now and the meds have certainly caused problems too. I’m glad you’re getting off them, but I’m really sorry your tinnitus is getting worse. I’m wondering though because you’re on the tiniest doses of anyone I know that it wasn’t the actual meds helping recently. 

 

Please let us know how you continue to go, sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

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Freedom15

I am reducing again in 5 days time. 

 

As for the tinnitus i or anything else i am just dealing with each day as it comes.

 

once i am fully off meds and had some proper recovery time then i will know what will be left and then look at lomg term what i will need to do.

 

I think for me staying out of the fear is a massive thing. Fear makes our brain create fear in our bodys thst then creates illness.

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Just wanted to wish you the best with your next drop in a few days time.💚

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Freedom15

My next reduction will be

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.3ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.3ml taken

 

this should give 0.0000045mg 

 

 

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Carmie

How is your latest drop going so far Freedom?💚

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Freedom15

Hi Carmie

 

I reduced on the 15th so i am 4 days in.

 

First couple days really bad physical and emotional stuff.

 

Slowing down bit now.

 

Hopefully will get easier over time.

 

Just still vary tired in myself in general

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Glad to hear the symptoms are subsiding a little. Withdrawals aren’t linear, but most of the time when I taper the symptoms seem to ramp up around day five or so. 

 

Take care, and hope your symptoms continue to be minimal.💚

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Freedom15

Have had 3 days of panic, anxiousnes and inpending doom feeling and shacks.

Also been quite agressive and agitated and circular thinking.

 

Unfortunatly i have not behaved well around my wife whilst in this early part of reduction and it has

caused some upset that i have had to make amends for.

 

Its really hard because all she sees is me and how i am behaving and not getting the inside experiance thats

going on for me.

 

Luckly there is no longterm damage altho i do know that she does not look forarwds to my reductions and not only have i been

doing this since 2014 my wife has been part this for the last 2.5 years.

 

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

I’m sorry you’ve had some stresses in your life, I hope you’ve been able to clear things up. 

 

Are you still feeling aggressive and agitated? I think all of us get ramped up symptoms when we are in waves. I get agitation, but I never feel aggressive. With me sadness ramps up more than anything, I think I get neuro-sadness.😥

 

I hope you’re feeling a bit better 💚

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Freedom15

Hi Carmie,

 

I looked up the word aggression in the dictionary and i think i have used it out of  context here.

 

I think vary aggitated is a better way to discribe how i feel. 

 

I just feel on the edge alot of the time vary snappy at things that would normally just fly by me. 

 

I have alot of physical symptoms as well and feel vary tired in my self which again is not the best breading ground for positivity at moment altho i am tryng to stay in grattitude. 

 

I am holding in here tho and doing my best a day at a time with god beside me. 

 

I have finalised the clean break order with solicitors that was hanging about from a old past relationship which just has to go to court then its finalised. Then after that i will need to focus on bankruptcy and the road to becoming debt free again. 

 

The current stuff that is worrying is my benefits reassesment is due so i have sent off a form with all my symptoms on and doctors letter and have possible go for an interview.

 

The key for me tho is i am not letting things build up and am putting in the footwork that is needed then having faith in the outcomes.

 

I have made a solid commitment to come off the medication and live a life free of it so if i have to sit in the withdrawl for while till i get more stable then i will. I have not updosed once since 2015 always going down and i have always got to some stability after going through this. 

 

Its proper tuff the hardest journey i have had to walk. Synthetic Pharmacutical  drugs are vary powrful and dangarous drugs when things go wrong. And the current health care system is not set up to help people who like us have been left to just do what we can in hipe that we will make it back from this mess.

 

Sending out love and grattitude to all who are on the same journy as i am ❤️🙏🏻

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

I’m sorry that you have so many stresses in your life at the moment, but what an accomplishment having gone forward with your tapering since 2015 without any updosing. Well done! You will definitely be med free one day. 

 

Hope today is a good day for you.💚

 

 

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Freedom15

3 more doses then its my planned monthly reduction again.

 

Next reductution is

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.3ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.2ml taken

 

this should give 0.000003mg 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Carmie

Allthe best with your next reduction Freedom.💚

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Just popping in to see how your last reduction went.💚

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Freedom15

Reducing monday to

 

 10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.15ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.03ml taken

 

this should give 0.00000225mg 

 

 

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Freedom15

3 more days till my next planned reduction.

 

Its been up and down this last reduction and i am vary tired in my self.

 

Its been a long taper altho i am still here rocking it.

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.15ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.02ml taken

 

this should give 0.0000015mg

 

 

 

 

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