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Freedom15

Freedom15: reinstated amitriptyline after CT by doctor

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sunnysideup69

Hi Freedom

I've been reading your thread. You're amazing and you've given me hope.

Best,

Ruth.

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Just popping in to see how you’re doing.💚

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Freedom15

Have struggled alot this last couple of reductions and seem to have got constant tremours/parkinson type movements which has not carmed down yet so i am thinking of holding for further week.

I am due to reduce in 4 days.

 

I am also vary tired and mentally and physically feeling it.

 

Holding has not been my thing to be honest altho i think i need to just rest.

 

I know i canot control the outcome at all altho giving my body time heal is needed now i think.

 

Yesterday the headache was so bacj that i ened up being sick 3 times.

 

This has not happened before so hopefully is one off.

 

I will see how feel in 4 days when remake meds up i may just make bath one weeks worth at same dose just hold and see what happens.

 

 

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Freedom15

Have made 2 weeks meds up and commited to holding for week.

 

Will see if feel better then to reduce again.

 

 

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Freedom15

Held for 2 weeks after my normal reduction.

 

I have been alot less tired and been generally more positive.

 

I have had waves of agitation and negitivity altho they have not been as much as when first reduced.

 

Have decided to reduce tonight and then hold for 6 weeks now instead of 4 weeks.

 

Reduction as below

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.075ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.03ml taken

 

this should give 0.0000011mg

 

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

So glad to hear that you’ve been doing fairly well, all the best with your next drop.💚

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Freedom15

reduction time is here again..

 

I think i may have double reduced last time any way as i adjusted the syringes after being in the fridge

to 0.02 as they were bit all over the place so this is how meds are being set this time.

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.0325ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.03ml taken

 

this should give 0.00000049mg 

 

Also as at some point vary soon i will need to do 100% reduction when i stop its worth seeing how my body copes with more reduction

because realisticly its going to get so low i will no long be able to mix the medication any lower.

 

I will keep up dates as i reduce from sunday.

 

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Freedom15

Have survived the first 9 days of my reduction.

 

Waves of symptoms as normal with lots negativity.

 

Today has been a wave day i think as i have had shacks and negativity again and pain in head.

 

Hopefully it will settle tomorrow as it only seems last a day or 2.

 

Did have a couple days where i was feeling good within the on going symptoms.

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Carmie

Hi Freedom, 

 

Glad to see you’ve been able to taper again. Hope the waves settle a bit soon. You’re on such a minuscule dose now, it’s amazing how every drop still affects us so much and then doctors say to people that are on 25mg of something to just jump off because it’s such a small dose???? 25mg is a really, really high dose. 

 

I hope all all goes well when you finally jump off, sending hugs🤗

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Freedom15

Today has been a bit of a wave day.

Feeling anxious, pacing and generally not calm.

Alot of pain in my head and sweating altho it is also vary hot.

 

Have been in this place many times altho it just is not nice energy to be in.

 

 

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Freedom15

Today i started off better but have deteriated as day has gone on.

 

tremours is always key indicater that i am not at my best.

 

Taking it as easy as i can at moment.

 

Tomorrow i will try get out for while and do some photography if can but the weather is so hot

at moment and medication messes with me being hot and sweating excessivly.

 

2 weeks of syringes left till another reduction so i will have see what i am like then.

 

So hard even at such small amount. Feel hopeless sometimes of any long term recovery or even getting off medication in one piece.

 

Possible feeling negitive from being in unsettled place so will try stick to a day at time.

 

So today i am ok uncomfortable physical and mental stuff i would like to change just make it till tonight then another day done.

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Freedom15

Seems like i am back into symptoms again.

 

Have meds made up till sunday on this dose.

 

May have to hold a further week or 2 again will see how next few days go.

 

Will make decission when i get to monday.

 

Away to scarbourgh for weekend with my wife for a well earned break so looking forwards to it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Carmie

Hope you enjoyed your break away with your wife Freedom, 

 

Also hope  you stabilise soon, and all goes well with your next drop.💚

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Freedom15

Have decided to reduce tonight.

 

Reductions are mental reallly as i am setting the meds up to what it should be but in reality its possible not as accurate as the maths.

As everything is so small now its hard.

 

I am going to add more water to the first dilution to help me reduce further.

 

So will go to 10mg tab and 100ml water which will move it back up the syringe and allow me to reduce further again.

 

I just got make sure i work out hte drops properly.

 

Today sreduction is as folllows..

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.01625ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.03ml taken

 

this should give 0.00000024mg 

 

 

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Freedom15

Started feeling bit ruff today from the reduction..

 

 

 

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Freedom15

Managed to mess up my dose last night and ended up having a much higher dose than i am on.

 

I had changed the way i made up the syringes with the dose in and i have managed to create a new problem.

 

Luckly this has happened once and altho i feel i bit ruff today with the extra medication in my body i can right it tonight and

get back to the dose i was on. Also luckly my body wont be used to the up dose of meds from only taking it once.

 

 

 

 

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ChessieCat

What a nuisance.  Be aware that you might notice an increase in symptoms over the next few days as things level out.  At least you know what it is causing it.

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Freedom15

Thanks Chessiecat i am sure there will be a settling in period again.

 

I am in the first week of my reduction any way so things are a bit up and down naturally.

 

 

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Freedom15

Went to the CAB yesterday to start the process of going bankrupt.

When i got ill my house was sold as i could no longer pay the mortgage.

There was a massive negative equity amount left over which i have no chance to pay of in my life time.

I have been paying £1 a month so it will never be payed off.

I totally stressed myself out because i was worried i would have  to lose all my pocessions.

I have decided that due to my current helath and  how streesed i got just planning to go bankrupt i am going to hold off till after christmas.

Just feel totally shot today with it.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                     

 

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Freedom15

Been under a lot of pressure at the momment which is just making me feel ill..

 

When i am stressed it just seems to put me into some kinda nerological overload.

 

Trying to just stay calm and do the things that help.

 

Have decided to pause on the bankruptcy until i can deal with it without it affecting my health.

Financial consent order has been rejected by court with questions so have wait for the outcome on this.

Home life can be hard at times due living in a blended family and the dynamics of it.

 

Going to go for a walk and try do some photography which will help carm me down.

 

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Freedom15

So much stress on my plate right now which has caused me to end up in a massive wave of not being good.

 

I am trying my best to keep everything in the day but it is really hard.

 

I have a reduction coming up in 7-10 days time so i will have to see what i am up to then.

 

Right now i feel in quite dark hopeless place where i feel like i will never be well.

 

I know this is temporary and that i will better at some point its just when you are in

this space it so hard to see anything around you.

 

My wife struggles as well because she says its like her husband has been taken away and a different person is here.

 

Sometimes i find it so hard that 2 tablets can make so much damage to a person and there life it just go's to show how dangerous

these medications.

 

 

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Freedom15

Reduction time again tonight.

 

Will post the amounts once work it out..

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Freedom15

nearly a week after ny reduction its been hard.

 

Always finding myself becoming vary agitated on the reduction and with people around me.

 

Head has been hurting alot and all the same symptoms i get from reduction.

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Freedom15

Felt good for couple days.

 

Was able to get out and fully engage in my photography which is a plus.

 

The last reduction was

 

10mg tab to 10ml water with 0.01625ml taken 

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.02ml taken

 

this should give 0.00000016mg 

 

Next reduction i am going to have to do it different due to the low dose.

 

I will be adding more water to the first part and keeping the bits taken out same now.

 

10mg tab to 15ml water with 0.02ml taken out

 

then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.02ml taken of 2000ml

 

I am not sure how work it out to get end dose but i know thats how i got to do the  reduction unless anyone has any other ideas..?

 

Any help in working it out would be good as well ??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Freedom15

Really struggling with waves of agitation and anger alot time at moment and have been upsetting my wife because i

am just saying things that are not making her feel good.

 

Its so hard it like theres just ann inner rage that wants to come out all time and i cant stop it.

 

Its all part off when i am not feeling so good but its hard for my wife also as shes feeling down with it.

 

Hope fully it will calm down soon and i will have to try to better manage myself when i realise i am in this sate.

 

Its not always easy because i think i am behaving normal when i am not.

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Freedom15

I am more stable now..

 

It is reduction time tomorrow again.

 

I am toying with either continuing on with the reduction rate that i have been which is around 25%

or trying for one month a 50% reduction to see what the difference is and how my body copes with this.

 

The reason why i have considered this is because i am getting close to having to do 100% and then totally off and wanted to do a test to see if i can come off or need to reduce further.

 

Has anyone got any experiance in this matter ??

 

 

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Freedom15

Ok so i decided in the end to drop by 30% which is just over the 25% that i have been doing for while with being at such a low dose now.

 

Did the actual reduction sunday night so couple days into it.

 

Ony physical stuff happening at the moment mental side is ok altho the kids are returning for next week

which always seems overload me.

 

I have not worked out the exact dose yet altho the last reduction was as follows

 

10mg tab to 80ml of water with 0.02ml taken out.

 

0.02ml then added to 2000ml water

 

finally 0.1ml taken out as the final dose i take.

 

If anyone wants to do maths happy to know what dose it is now...

 

 

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Freedom15

I think the dose is 0.000000125mg

 

 

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Altostrata
On 10/18/2019 at 6:32 AM, Freedom15 said:

Really struggling with waves of agitation and anger alot time at moment and have been upsetting my wife because i

am just saying things that are not making her feel good.

 

Its so hard it like theres just ann inner rage that wants to come out all time and i cant stop it.

 

Its all part off when i am not feeling so good but its hard for my wife also as shes feeling down with it.

 

Hope fully it will calm down soon and i will have to try to better manage myself when i realise i am in this sate.

 

Its not always easy because i think i am behaving normal when i am not.

 

Freedom, was it this kind of moodiness that caused you to go on drugs in the first place?

 

You may benefit from anger management coaching. When you feel confident you can manage the expression of your emotions, you could come off that tiny dose of amitriptyline you're taking. You've done an admirable job of tapering.

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Freedom15

Hi Alto,

 

Thanks for your reply.

 

I was given the drugs for migraine prevention when i got tinnitus.

 

The anger and aggitation has been a side effect of the meds/reduction.

 

I have just started a reduction couple days ago so the next time i reduce i will try doing 50% dose see how that go's.

 

 

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Freedom15

Just update

 

I am starting to feel alot better in my self.

Still have physical symptoms and the odd mental but this reduction has been alot better than before.

My wife says this has been the best reduction i have done so far and alot waves stuff has been not so prominant

I feel like i maybe at a turning point in my reduction because i was vary aware that it is suggested

to reduce to point where the reductions are no longer causing you problems when you reduce.

I am currently reducing 30% so next time i will try a 50% reduction.

I will then see how things are and report back.

 

It has been a long hard road back altho i am not quite there maybe the hard work of reducing for past 5 years will pay off..

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Freedom15

For 1.5 days i have had a wave.

 

Shaking, feeling ill, Malaise, negativity, agitated, anger, feeling total doom and gloom, depression, circular thinking and crying.

 

Today luckly it has gone and i am back to my base level of how where i am at.

 

Hopefully its just from the last reduction.

 

 

 

 

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Freedom15

Back to feeling stable again within my base level.

 

Still have side effects of meds of numbness, blurry eyesight, anxious, pins needles, confusion.

 

2 weeks then i am going for 50% reduction as test for getting ready to fully come off.

 

 

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