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Freedom15

Freedom15: reinstated amitriptyline after CT by doctor

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Freedom15

Today's not been so good stayed in bed with anxiety till about 11. Have been bit shacky and feeling bit low today. Still feel totally numb to world and have pins needles over hands and feet and feel so distant from life. Sometimes I just don't know how I am going to be able to carry on throw this with feeling so rubbish all time.

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LoveandLight

I think we've all felt like that during this..

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Freedom15

I have contacted a medical soliciter to discuss if I have case as this has had such an effect on my life and through no fault own. I would prefere to be happy and drug free but I just thought that the doctors shouldn't be allowed to get away withthing kinda stuff Scott free. Today's been quite hard as I tend change how feel through the day. The later part day seems be worse as that is when I feel the most wd type feelings on the lower dose. People tho have said i seem alot more like Jason is able to get through now even if I feel mess totally internally. Hope everyone else is managing to ride there paths they are on.

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Altostrata

Freedom, you might want to hold on tapering for a bit, then taper at perhaps 5%. You might be able to make reductions a little more frequently.

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Freedom15

Holding altrostata both me and key worker have agreed to do this as I have dropped quite a lot.

I think smaller more frequent drops seem to be easier and seems the way to go in the long run.

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Freedom15

TodAy hasn't been so bad in the continued mess that is my life I took a couple carms in morning to see if it helped with morning anxiousness which it seemed to so I am going to made try this couple days just take 2 in morning. I also aloud myself just stay in bed for while to try let my body relax abit even if I don't feel it. Been nearly week since last reduction so maybe this is why parts me starting feel better although I am still plagued with the side effects of the drug.

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Pugknows

What are carms?

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Freedom15

Hi pug knows I think actually they are called kalms and they are a traditional plant type remedy that have hops, small amount valerian, and gentian in. They help with stress and sleep sometimes. I am just trying couple In morning to see if helps anxiousness when wake up. If makes feel worse I will stop it.

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Freedom15

Just a little update on how things are going. I am currently holding at 15.7mg. I have side effects from drugs of tremours, ticks, pin and neddles, numbness, anxiuosness. I currently havn't had any further waves at momment so i am presuming this is good thing as although i have made quite few reductions i have made smaller ones as gone on. I will try hold now for 4 weeks before reducing unless anything extreme happens. The current side effects from drugs are unpleasent but livable at momment.

I am seeing the community drugs team tomorrow for first meeting and i have been attending a drugs and alchol drop in center daily to be around people to try stay focused with outside world. As for my finances and work still unable to work. Money will run out in about 6 weeks then i will be in the hands of the benefits. Everyone around me is truly trying to suport me to get through this altho its very hard ever day. Managed to go out yesterday and be fairly happy in all this mess and take photos of a massive rc racing event. Hope everyone else is holding in there...

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Freedom15

Ok so my first experience of the community drugs team wasn't that good. She told me she thought I was anal because I was doing a 10% reduction plan and had graphs and scales. I was defornatly just feeling number and I will give it couple more meetings and if it's still same I will stop going.

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Freedom15

Just been to pick up my months worth tablets and the brand has changed again. This is the 3rd time in 3 months had deal with different brands tablets and recalculate all weights and drops again. Hopefully I won't have any adverse effects with change. I go 2 days left of tablets I am on then I will change to new ones.

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Fresh

Sounding like things are settling just a bit Freedom.   You don't have to convince the community worker about the way

you're tapering , just say this is what you're doing.   Doesn't matter what she thinks - she's been trained by the same

system that doesn't teach doctors about withdrawal.

With a bit of luck the transition to a new brand will be smooth . . . fingers are crossed for you.

:)

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Freedom15

Hi Fresh thanks for your positivity as always :-)

I managed to get the pills changed and also they have added to my notes to only prescribe that brand so this will take worry out of tapering and different brands. I am going to hold another 2 weeks so that will be 4 weeks in total then do 10% drop. I am currently constantly going to and from about what's priority which ultamitly is my health and getting me safetly off these drugs.

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Freedom15

Just an update to say i am trying out 5% reductions every week for 4 weeks. I will then see how i am at end but also stop if i get any adverse withdrawl. The reason why i am doing this is to see if the smaller drops help ver 10% every 2 weeks. Had meeting with work manager today which went better than planned and will see the community drugs worker tomorrow then i have the Citerzens advice bureau on 23rd. Feeling every so slightly better in all this although i am also feeling the slowness of the tampering now but i have so far not had any waves recently.

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LoveandLight

Glad to hear!

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WiggleIt

Just want to let you know I'm following your thread. I don't say a lot to very many people anymore, 'cause I'm too new at this and don't have advice. Your story speaks to me because I was on a TCA (tricyclic antidepressant) also and because I used to work in music. In fact, I think often about whether I will ever be able to attend a live concert ever again since I'm now so light and sound sensitive. I hope so.

 

I'm sorry the community drug center is uneducated about antidepressant withdrawal. You are being very strong.

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LoveandLight

The article at the end says: lasts 1-3 weeks! If only!

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Freedom15

Hi wiggleit and loveandlight both your input is always appreciated and welcomed.

 

I have come to the conclusion that we all have to stay strong and take responsability for our own recoverys.

 

Its also going to be slow.

 

I am going try the comunity drugs worker for few weeks and if still just not right i will get rid off her.

 

Its just so frustrating that i only signed up for these drugs for migraine prevention and now i have deal with all this.

 

Anyway the positive things that happening is i am slowly reducing the dose so its going in the right way now.

 

Hope you all managed to get some serenity in your own journeys.

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WiggleIt

Loveandlight: yeah, that part about 1-3 weeks is bogus but at least it is a government linked publication showing the problem is real.

 

Freedom: great attitude! I empathize as I was also put on these meds for a non-mental health reason... although that doesn't excuse doctors from hurting people who do have mental health probs.

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Freedom15

Very true wiggleit.

 

I am feeling little tired of all this at momment. The more you withdraw the furture away from your true self you realise you are.

 

The doctors dont care the drugs workers say look ok yourself and dont think the drugs are causing you the issues and that once off drugs will you except whats happening is you.

 

And while all this is happening every thing you worked for will be taken away because of stupid tablets that doctors gave you for miraine prevention.

 

just needed to rant lol...

 

If i could cold turkey this stuff tonight i would do it but i am aware of the conciquences to that so i will continue on with my taper.

 

I hope eveyone else is doing ok in there own worlds ?

 

peace love and light..

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Fresh

How's it going for you Freedom?   

Are you still going with the idea of 5%drops every week?    That's the same as 20% over a month , which is pretty quick.

 

Sorry if I'm being an old fuss-pot ,   Fresh  :D

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Freedom15

Hi Fresh

 

Thanks for your concern. I have been trying smaller drops but quicker for this month only.

My body has coped pritty well as i have had minimal withdrawl with only small aniouxness and maybe one night no sleep

after each drop which pass's after about 2-3 days.

I havn't had a wave for good few weeks now so i presume things are going ok.

5% every week is same as doing 10% every 2 weeks.

I will hold for little bit and see how things are after this. 

I have found the smaller but regular drops easier TBH then one 10%

Everyones commenting on how better i am becoming

but its hard for them to get full picture as they look outside in ver

my world of inside out.

 

Hows your reductuion going BTW?

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LoveandLight

Freedom..you do know that this site recommends 10% drop everything MONTH, not two weeks?! Just thought I'd point that out. Glad your doing well..

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Freedom15

Hi loveandlight

 

Thanks for pointing that out.

 

Initally the site advises 10% reductions every 4 weeks but also advises you maybe able to taper faster if you are not getting significant withdrawls.

 

It also advises you could reduce at 10% per week if you are able to tolrate it but that is not advised for everyone.

 

I have been testing out to see what i am able to tolarate and currently 5% per week is going well altho i will reconsider it

if any extreme things happen.

 

Thank you for all your worrys and concerns its nice to know people are looking out for me.

 

;-)

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LoveandLight

Oh I see, ok.

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Freedom15

I would always premote the 10% reduction and hold for 3-4 weeks as good starting point and also if you are stabile and able to continue your daily life on the meds your on. I Have always struggled cause doctors reinstated me on 2.5 times original dose so I have had to go up to go down...

I am definitely going I right direction now

Although I can have little rant sometimes though lol

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LoveandLight

Yes..ok to rant too lol

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Fresh

Good that you're on top of it Freedom.  

I do worry  - my own experience was that I felt good initially after decreasing , then the fallout came weeks later.

I guess a good hold every now and then wouldn't go astray.

My own last cut was a breeze.   I went down from 45mg to 37.5 , is that about 15% ?    NO withdrawal symptoms at all.   I'm pretty sure it's due

to CES therapy.  Even so , I'm holding for another month , to be safe.

:)

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Freedom15

I am glad your drop went well Fresh I know you was thinking of up dosing so that's great like say it's ok to just hold sometimes to see where you are actually are.

 

I think sometimes at the higher doses the cuts don't show up as much but as you get lower that's when you need to slow down and even cut less as well.

 

The problems I have always struggled with is the physical dose that to high and the side effects which I am more aware of now brains woken up.

 

Now the dose is a lot lower things are a lot easier and to be fair if you was to meet me in street you prob wouldn't think I was ill but it's the inside world where it's all going on.

 

Next month is tuff because I will not have any money other than SSP coming in which is around £88.65 week but currently I just don't feel capable of working. I have be going to drugs drop in town most days where do courses and stuff I find that easy as if feel worse wear it's none comital. But with not feeling connected to world kinda depersonalised and derealised it's hard. You keep convincing yourself that the next drop will feel more like old self but I still feel druged. Anyway I am ok in all this just nice to drop so words sometimes about what's going down.

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Freedom15

Just checking in to say i am still alive.

 

I have been tapering at 5% per week which has been going well with minimal symptoms.

 

I still have all the many drug side effects at moment.

 

The Mental health team are sending me to see a phyciatrist just incase i am mental and not really being affected by meds.

 

Next month will be interresting with having to start dealing with whats going happen with paying the bills.

 

Hope everyone else is going well.

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Freedom15

I have come to the conclusion that i must have just been a walking zombie last year on the 20mg dose that i was on.

I am almost at on 10mg pill now and the sedation is still heavey and to the point where my head is numb through day and my memory is shoot.

My overall mood has been fairly stable with only a few days unsettling after i do the reduction but dropping back to normal after that.

I have had no suicidal ideation for over 8-10 weeks now so this is good as my waves are very clear cut and go within a day or 2 and i havn't had any for good couple months now.

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LoveandLight

Ooh I'm so glad the suicidal ideation has passed for you! Doing well, freedom! :)

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Freedom15

Thanks Loveand Light

 

Just need the sedation and zombie brain fog to lift and all will be well lol

 

hope you are going well ?

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LoveandLight

Lol..

 

Hhhmm, well? That might be going to far but it's not one of my very worst days, thank you :)

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Freedom15

One thing that is starting to become clearly apparant is that as the dose is coming down by around 12-2pm everyday the sedation is starting to wear off alittle and up untill 8pm

when i take my dose i am getting cronic pain in my head as the anastetic effect of the amitriptaline wears down.

 

I hope as this gets lower all this gets easier and not harder lol.

 

Theres defornatly no way i can return to work tho with how i am currently.

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