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Nathalou

☼ Nathalou

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Nathalou

What if the reinstatement does nothing? I'm so afraid to mess my brain up, I'm considering not taking it any more. Oh goodness feel so extremely lost! Like I'm lising myself. I have appontment with the doctor tomorrow but if I say I don't want to take it but say I have suicidal udeas...? my anxiety levels are still high and I'm unable to function normally. Litd give me strenght.

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JanCarol

Please Nathalou, don't start and stop and start and stop - that is harder for you than being on a steady dose!  Start and stop, start and stop - well - your brain is not a rubber band - you can only stretch it so much before it snaps.  It makes it so much harder to come off the drug later, too.

 

Please hold just a day or two more.  I think you might have done better on a tinier (1/4 pill) dose, and here's why (for the future):  the smaller dose has fewer side effects.  You get a touch of what you need without the levels that were hard on you to begin with.

 

But I cannot judge you here - you made your decision based on what you read here, and what your doctor was telling you.  You made your best decision at the time.

 

Please stick with it a little longer, then if you're still having trouble, we'll call in the big, smart Mods (I am only a Baby Mod, still learning learning learning!) to help you with this.

 

While you are waiting, please consider some non-drug coping tools:  

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

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JanCarol

How are you Nathalou?

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Nathalou

I am currently worse than I have ever been. I reinstated the sertraline and am currently at 50mg. Don't ask how it happened... I regret it badly now but I was convinced it would help me out of the black hole. I landed twice at the Psychiatric ER and they convinced me to reinstate, gave me medications to sleep. I was anxious to the point where I was hyperventilating and shaking like a leaf due to lack of sleep. It's been a week and a half and things are getting worse. I have severe burning pains in arms, hands, fingers, legs, toes, joints,... Nausea, vertigo. I am on the verge if killing myself. I cannot take it anymore...everyone blames it on anxiety and depression and tell me to let the medications start working. I am comvinced that what's making me anxious and severly depressed is all these symptoms. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up again.

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Nathalou

I feel so utterly alone and misunderstood.

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compsports

Hi Nathalou,

 

Your feelings of extreme despair are totally understandable.  I will defer to the moderators regarding reinstatement issues but wanted to give you a big time hug and tell you to hang in there.

 

Hugs.!

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Fresh

Hi Nathalou , hugs from me too   :blush: .

 

It may be that 50mg is too much for you , it looks like you were on 25mg when you stopped last September.

I'm sure Alto can advise , but I'm wondering if you should go down by 1mg a day for a bit and see if you feel any better.

 

Did you go pretty much straight onto 50mg this time?

I remember feeling the same despair.   You will get past this , it's going to take a while though.

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Nathalou

I reinstated at 12,5 mg 10 days ago and went up to 25mg. Saw the psychiatrist who said to up the dose to 50mg yesterday. So I have only taken 50mg one time. What dose should I take today? I did read about reinstating on low doses but I was pressured by the psychiatrists and the hospital and my parents who ask me everyday if I have been taking the dose prescribed. At one point i thought the doctors where right.... I need advise on what to do now?

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Fresh

Did you feel worse after the dose of 50mg?   or still just as bad?

 

I also wonder if you've felt more agitated and suicidal since being on the  25mg.   It may be that that dose was too high , too activating for you.

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Nathalou

Definately worse after taking the 50mg! Just updated my "status" to make things clear. Would appreciate if a moderator gave his/her input on what to do.

 

Thank you for hugs/support!

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Fresh

Nat , it's about 5am in Altostrata land.   I'm sure you'll hear back soon.  In the meantime , I would hold off on another 50mg dose.

 

xxx

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compsports

Nathalou,

 

My statement to wait for a moderator still stands but if you feel worse after taking 50mg, my opinion would be to go back to the 25mg dose.  You just switched right?   Sorry if the answer is obvious but I missed that information.

 

CS

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Fresh

Good point compsports   :)

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Nathalou

When i say worse i mean the muscle/joint pain and tingling and feeling of pins and needles i much much morse. My mood asweel.

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Nathalou

Yes, i have only taken one dose of 50mg (yesterday). Before that, the dose was 25mg for the last 5 days. It's 02pm here, i took my last dose yesterday at 03pm so I will wait a little more for moderator input. Can i be completely honest with you guys? Sometimes i don't know WHO i should listen to ; the doctor or SA. My gut feeling says SA but i'm a little brainwashed..forgive me.

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compsports

Ok, I would definitely go back to 25mgs since you only took one dose of 50mg.  I was concerned you had taken so much that it would be necessary to taper.

 

Not insulted at all by your question as to be honest, even though I know your doctor is full of sh-t, like you, I am brainwashed and still not totally comfortable on advising people on medication even though now, I feel I am right based on other responses and your information.   Frankly, I think it is pretty pathetic that we can't rely on doctors for information about psych med tapering and have to depend on an internet board.   But thankfully, SA exists.

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Hexal

So sorry to hear about your complications from reinstating. Hope you find relief soon! Best wishes.

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Nathalou

Oh how could I have forget! The doctor also gave me Trazolan (don't know the name in US) and I took 100mg before bed for insomnia; the day before yesterday. Yesterday evening i took 50mg. So that's the conplete drug update if this last week, many posts sorry about that, hope it's clear.

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Nathalou

So trazolan is trazodone hcl as active ingrédient. An antidepressant used for insomnia. It's apparently a triglycéric . I will try not to take it for sleep anymore but lately i have been desperate for sleep.

 

It feels so good to be able to write here, i feel understood and a little less alone with all these thoughts. May we all find strenght. May we win this battle.

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Fresh

That's important Nathalou , thankyou.    Trazolan  has the active ingredient Trazodone Hydrochloride , a derivative of trazodone.

 

Trazodone is an another type of antidepressant.

 

Am reading about it on www.drugs.com.

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Fresh

lol . . . I'm 3 minutes behind you , sorry

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Nathalou

Okay so I just took 25mg. Should I stay on this dose for a few weeks now? Don't want to go up and down but want to get off.

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mammaP

Hi Nathalou, I am sorry to see that you are suffering so badly. The sertralene is too high a dose for you, this is why we recommend reinstating at very low doses. No-one is judging you, you did what you thought was best and followed your doctors advice. We are supposed to be able to trust them to know what is best. 

 

I would go back to the 12.5 for now, you may feel some relief  within days but it will take time for your nervous system to settle down again. 

I see you just posted and have taken 25 just now.  It will be better than the 50 but I would reduce further tomorrow. 

Can you tell us how you felt at 12.5 and how long did you stay there before going up to 25?  What was it that took you to ER and what dose were you taking at that time? It is important to know this so we can see which dose might be best for you. 

 

This will get better but it may take some time for your nervous system to stabilise. I am so,so sorry that you have ended up like this, so many of us have been damaged by those awful drugs and doctors just keep on giving more and more of them trying to undo the damage nd just make it worse  :angry:

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Nathalou

MammaP, oh darn I should have waited to take it! Okay, will go down to 12,5 tomorrow. The first time I got admitted to the ER I had not reinstated, I was admitted for the night (hadnt slept for two days, thats why I was conpletely out of myself). I reinstated at 12,5 two days later and was at 25mg after about three/four days. I got readmitted thursday evening and I was at 25mg, it was modtly my mother who insisted I go bcs I had severe muscle burning and tingling, it had a panick attack at the ER and got readmitted to stay the night to calm down. This kind of anxiety is completely foreign to me. The next day they told me to up the dose to 50mg which i did, this was yesterday. I do feel worse(muscle pain, headache, ear pain, ear ringing, vertigo or what I would call brain waves) but I suppose I had also awaited to feel relief from reinstating, which didn't come, all this adds to my anxiety tremendeously. If only i could sleep properly i suppose incould cope better. I am having that scare that "this damage is permanent". My mood fluctuates quite heavily, the nights and morning are worse, I feel truly suicidal. Afternoons and begin evening is a little better. Nightfall is torture because i am afraid to go to bed and not be able to sleep. Oh it's all so horrendous... I don't know what to believe, you know?

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Nathalou

I have this general ill feeling in my body, like inner tremor. Noises bother me, when i chew something crunchy it bothers me. Clearly reinstating has not helped me.

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mammaP

I know just what you mean it is a terrible thing that you are going through but it will get better.  I know we keep asking questions but here are some more... You reinstated on the 11th at 12.5?

 Went to 25 on the 14th after 2 days and took that for 6 days? ?

 Went to hospital on Thursday which would have been the 19th ?  

You also had trazodone 100mg on Thursday 19th and 50mg yesterday 20th?

 What about the tenesta, are you taking it regularly and when did you start taking it? 

 

I'm trying to get a good picture of what you have taken so we can see what might be causing the most problems.

My suspicion is that even 12.5 was too high a dose for you, we usually recommend tiny doses for this reason, so the dose can be increased slowly to a comfortable level because often people become sensitive to the drugs they have quit and unable to tolerate larger doses. We often see people respond well to a micro dose which alleviates a lot of the withdrawal symptoms. I understand completely why you became desperate, withdrawal is terrible. Now we just need to see what might be best for you from now. The trazodone would have made it worse too but all this will settle down. 

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mammaP

Sorry you don't need to answer all those questions, just confirm I've got it right. Just the tenesta one, you must be fed up of the inquisition!. 

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Nathalou

Mammap, thank you for your reassurance. I should have kept notes but I'll try to recall. I was admitted first time on 9th february, recieved 3,5mg Temesta in total.

Got home the 10th and took 1,5mg temesta for sleep.

On the 11th i reistated 1/4of a tablet 6,25 mg. took 0,65mg temesta for sleep.

On the 12th i believe i took 12,5mg and 0.65 temesta.

On the 13th i believe i down dosed again to 6,5mg and took 0,65 temesta.(this day i felt truly horrible)

On 14th i think it was12,5(this day was horrible)

From that on i believe i took everyday 25mg. The 15th was also horrendous day.

The 17th was a good day, I was out and about.

On the 19th i felt awful, pains in muscles etc and went back to ER. There i recieve 2,5mg temesta and 100mg trazolan to sleep.

On 20 (yesterday) i take 50mg of sertraline and 50mg trazolan for sleep. Today has been the worst day ever.

I don't really see a pattern in all of this. Just wish i had not reinstated since i had become getting windows before i did. It was in a moment if despair that i did.. So it's been 11 days back on with no consistent dosage

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Nathalou

No no mammap, i'm desperate for all the help you can give me so i answer any question! I an the one thsnking you for your time..????

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Nathalou

Where i can see a pattern is that the burning muscle/horrid muscle pain (arms legs) and pins needles feeling came back rather rapidly after reinstating and hasn't left me since then. Since thursday it's been excruciating, mostly so yesterday and today. Today i have had that spaced out feeling and feeling as if i'm on waves all the time.

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mammaP

Ok thank you for the information. Do you think the tenesta helps? It is a benzo and can become addictive quite quickly and then needs tapering also.  I would not take any more trozolan and reduce the dose back to 6.5 for now as it's only been a few days at higher doses and you did have a good day somewhere.. It may stem the withdrawal and side effects are dose related so hopefully may not be as bad. It will take time to stabilise but hang in there and try to ride the waves. Keep us posted and record your symptoms here. We all understand what you are going through, every one of us have been where you are to some degree and will help you get through this. If you can, read through the links that have been posted for you. It's hard to read in this state but a little at a time because it will help you to understand what is happening to your brain and nervous system. Understanding is half the battle, know your enemy in order to overcome it. 

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Nathalou

The tenesta did help bit i havn't taken any since they gave me 2,5mg on thursday afternoon. I am aware of the addictivness of benzos and don't want to go down that road. Okay so i take 6,25mg sertraline from now on? I am afraid i will get withdrawal from having taken the days of 25mg and testerdays 6,25mg. Will you guys be here to help me out in the next couple of days, mmaP and other moderators?

On wednesday My sick leave (dont know if this is correct word)ends, the psychiatrist would prolonge it without problème but I might lose my job if i don't go back. Also, having sonething to focuse on maybe helpful, if I only sleep!

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Nathalou

Withdrawal from Yesterdays 50mg i mean(not 6,25)

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mammaP

It is only a few days and you have reacted badly to the higher doses so hopefully 6.5 will be better. You could reduce gradually if you prefer? 12.5 for a few days then 6.5?  It is your decision and you know your body.   We are always here for you, and will do everything we can to help.  I hope that you start to feel better soon. 

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Nathalou

Okay, thank's mammaP. How long do you think i should stay on 6,25? How should i proceed from then? I couldn't ever cut less that 1/4, the tablet is too small.

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mammaP

Hold there for a few months if it helps, it will take time to stabilise. Hopefully you will feel better and be able to function. Sertraline is available in liquid form so will be easier than trying to cut pills when you are ready to taper. . 

 

http://dailymed.nlm.nih.gov/dailymed/drugInfo.cfm?id=52077:

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