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☼ escitalopramsucks: PSSD by courtesy of escilatopram


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escitalopramsucks

Dear Petunia. Thanks for your adorable message. I'm sorry you have been fighting so hard against these long time. But you are clever and strong and choose no psyc meds so you have to be very proud of you.

 

Thanks for you lovely suggestions about benzos. In my case. Each single case is different... I couldn't bear it longer as I explained above along my thread. I mailed Dr. Healy and asked if benzos are potentially causers of PSSD and he told me that rthey are not seem to cause it. So life is a bascule :you have to measure and choose. I was feeling suicidal 24/7 and decided to try lorazepam. I negociated with the psychiatrist: he wanted.me to take 3 pills (of 1 mg each) per day and I rejected it. Why starting with a high dose being possible to start in a low basis? He couldn't understand how worried I was about having again pills... he couldnt se the affliction that pssd causes to me....because he just hand out pills everyday like in a birthday party candies are given to the children's hands

 

My depre and anxiety are horrible in the morning and ease at 20-21 h night no reason....

I have 0'5 mg in the.morning and 0'5 lunch. They take a long time to be effective but I just hold on in the.morning to be able to be " a person" evening and.night and don't use them.at night. So I try to sleep med free and if I wake up very early I have the.morning dose a bit earlier to be able to sleep.

Doctor told.me they don't have antidepressive effect. Only anxiolityc: again each person is so different from otherst: as soon as my rumiations and obssessive thoughts about pssd stop I become more.positive and I can sleep.better and more optimistic about my life. For me that have antidepre effect too.

I can read a book have a normal phone conversation...I'm not a top banana now in parties but Im surviving from the moment.

What i was feeling before was that i was crossing a delicate and dangerous line: last weeek i was about to.leave job and go to.psychiatric emergency because what I was feeling inside while working wasn't bearable for a person. I survived the.morning but decided i needed som extra help apart from.walking... try to work or talk to.my.psychologist. it wasnt enought.

My plan is try to.continue this way( only 0'5-0'5) maximum 1'5 the whole day.

 

Some people.from.my family take them.since ages without developing tolerance and I pray nor to build it up.for.my self. I hope I have inherited this good point!

 

I have been so scared since all this ******* pssd started 1 year and 4 months ago and.I can't be.more scared now.about the benzo... its consequences and if it may worse my pssd ...

 

Fear is the worst enemy of a human. I knew if I didn't stopped all that anxiety I was going to develop some physical illness so the balance said yes for a.controlled benzo.

 

On Christmas day I didn't have benzos all the day and during the dinner I was feeling ****. Hopeless and surrounded by my family.

My cousins... some.of them.divorced... some.of them.married but with the capacity of.falling in.love and build their own families and keep feeling! ... I'm an only child, no kids... and I though... why me? Why.pssd? I'd prefer having some.painful illness that I can control with painkillers ... but the capacity of.love... of feeling attracted by men...I'm stucked in.my 38 y.o.

 

I'm.psychologically hurted and wish my pssd would only have affected the functional part... I don't know how to.manage with the emotional part. So again, benzo weight more on the bascule.

 

Big huge kisses

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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escitalopramsucks

Aw! Ltheanine and inositol!

 

I want to be very far away of serotonin and dopamine balancers. I'm.not sure if they mess up them. Please have a look in Healy's page in the withdrawal pssd page . He has written about the different medicines than are likely to cause pssd all of them have in common they play with serotonin and dopamine etc...

 

Thank you for your caring advice and continue doing well.

 

Kisses

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
escitalopramsucks

I continue 0'5-0'5 lorazeoam per day.

 

Its curious most people have them to sleep at night. In my case I need them morning and mid day... is when i feel depressed and suicidal and the effect use to remain until the day after. I can sleep naturally.

 

The benzos have low even.more the little drive or ability for sex that.remains in my PSSD.

 

In the morning today... I felt scared and collapse. I coudnt had an intercourse with my friend.

What if even the evidence I'm worsening my PSSD?because

I don't think I can manage without the daily gram for the moment.

 

Have some of you been in that situation? Suffering from PSSD and take some benzo to be able to continue?

 

Do you think benzos can interfere the recovery from.PSSD?

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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  • 2 weeks later...
escitalopramsucks

Tiny incentive:

 

These last 3 days I have been only taking 0,5mg of lorazepam per day in the morning. My anxiety is more controlled these last days and I feel really happy :)

 

 

Yesterday, out of a sudden I noticed my libido increased a bit like at night, like if I were more prone to sex. I didn´t feel very horny but I could feel more interest and had little sexual fantasies.

 

Before these last 3 days my anxiety was terrible in the mornings but I try to control the tolerance of the benzos, so I spend most of the day not medicated and in the afternoon I had a little portion that allows me to go to a course and socialize. 

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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  • 3 weeks later...
escitalopramsucks

i´m sick of PSSD and my entire life.

 

I can´t find a ray of light that cheer me up. I feel very depressed and hopeless about recovering from PSSD.

 

I don´t have illusions, passions or wills for my life.

 

Why us? Why we had this effect from the SSRI´S? I see stories of recoveries and I see in the rxisk page stories of people suffering from decades with no improvements.

 

My parents are fed up of watching me in the state I´m currently. There are some timmes during the night when my depression in better and I feel more hope. But the rest of the day is a torture.

 

How can someone live like that? How can I gain some hope? How do you cope with this?

 

I´m so scared of being single for the rest of my life... I don´t want to finish my days alone in a care home-. I had illusions! I can´t feel atttraction for men. I can´t have a crush... I can´t pay attention in a gaze, in a conversation...

 

Please, tell me something positive. I can´t stop crying all the day long

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post

I know, it sucks :(

We have to believe we will recover, at least somewhat, one day.

 

September 2011 - 75 mg Effexor, 15 mg Mirtazapine
September 2012 - CT. Developed PSSD (mostly erectile dysfunction and diminished enjoyment of sex).
January 2016 - Symptoms persist, no improvements. In fact, things seem worse now than they were in the first year.

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  • 2 months later...
escitalopramsucks

I have been going out with m boyfriend for 5 months... yesterday after a row of big arguments I left his apartment. Another nightmare to add to pssd

 

I cannot feel attracted bi new guys. Something is.disconnected. in mi brain.

 

What if I don't reconer mi attraction? My lust... m sexualiti. I only can feel attachment with boys pre pssd

 

he was a fantasi... a reliebe like I'm.almost normal... I can feel Somethin for someone...for a pre pssd man.

 

Will this have and end and I will feel like meeting boys... hae sex with them... etc

 

???

 

I want a family... I want to be two...

 

I'm.lack of companion...not all mi friends didn't supported.me when depressed.

 

How something can be so painful... It is 1.5 years since I.don't like.men and I can't feel attraction.

 

I'm reading some.books... Bruce Lipton and Joe Dispenza... the talk.about the power of.mind to heal changing attitude and emotions.

 

Mani people have sealed from diseases using the power of their minds.

 

Help....

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
  • 1 month later...
escitalopramsucks

I havevisited a top endocrinologist... she diagnosed hypothiroidism. I'm currently taking levotyroxine. Vitamins b6 and iron and my mood is better. I'm not so.so depressed and anxious.

 

She is gonna check again my hormones and help with pssd.

 

I recommend you to find a good endoc.

 

Thanks

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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  • Member
cymbaltawithdrawal5600

Interesting reading about lorzepam (according to your sig you've been taking it for close to 6 months now). One of its paradoxical effects (something happens opposite to what is supposed to) is:

 

 

Paradoxical effects: In some cases, paradoxical effects can occur with benzodiazepines, such as increased hostility, aggression, angry outbursts

 

It is recommended for short term use only 2 to 4 weeks. Unclear as to how long you have to go between doses to not become addicted to it.

 

The other thing is it does is it interferes with the formation of new memories. It is often given before medical procedures so you don't clearly recall what happens during them. O the blessings of amnesia!

 

Long-term effects of benzodiazepines include tolerance, dependence, benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, and cognitive impairments which may not completely reverse after stopping treatment.

 

I don't like that last part "may not completely reverse after stopping".

 

Benzos just don't heal wd syndrome and my guess is that they don't help PSSD much either.

 

(Trade name is Ativan® )

What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878

 

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

 

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

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  • 4 weeks later...
escitalopramsucks

Cymbaltawithdrawal... Thanks for your advice. I had to choose between the benzo or killing myself, I chose the first. This is my story and even if I´d love being able to pass without it, for the moment is a possibility I cannot reach.

 

Anyway, I´m trying to do my best and benzos are not making me feel bad to date and hopefully they won´t.

 

The endocrinologist, according to my last blood data has put me in an hormonal treatment as she has found "The analysis shows that it is not yet compensated thyroid deficiency . To have a libido you need about 1 TSH. There are other gaps , small , but added : magnesium deficiency , ferritin and hormone DHEA. Moreover, high estrogen  is shown.

 

This is the medication:

-DHEA 25 mg

-LEVOTIROXINA 25

-PROGESTERONE

 

Apart from:

 

-Iron, B6 vitamin, and magnesium

 

 

I´m a bit concern about having hormons but this lady is known to have the feet on the fround and she has helped hundreds of people.

 

Since I started the treatment with levotiroxine, B6 and iron, my mensatruation and ovulation are correct again. (Beloved escitalopram shorted my mensatruation lenght of 30 days to 21 and discontinued my ovulations every month, so I hope this will continua improving.

One of the things I have noticed better is the sensations and orgasms that are more intense specially near the mensatruation days and my depression is still here but not as horible as on Christmas time when I was 24/7 having suicidal thoughts. Libido and interest in men are still 0.

Some other big achievements are related to sleep: I sleep better, more hours and my dreams are starting to be more complex and frequent.

 

Have some femine PSSD sufferer try hormonal treatment to exchange experiences?

 

 

Thanks!!

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
  • 1 month later...
escitalopramsucks

Updating:

 

I had to break with my boyfriend because the strong arguments and pain that adds to my life had no solution after talking for ages and it caused deeper depression to me...

 

As I have explained before I can not feel attracted by post PSSD guys( guys I meet after pssd) and out of the blue it happened again like last year at the beach... I went with my best friend (I met him long years before PSSD) there and I became lustful. I took the opportunity and even I could´t feel sexually everything like before PSSD it was great because I WANTED to have sex. I had the need.

 

After we have started a relationship with him and I feel good in it.

 

Some days I feel horrible because as usual I can not feel the outbursts of emotion that I should feel and the fear visits me causing me anxiety... but curiously, this week has been amazing:

 

I started to enjoy the summer not thinking too much in PSSD and just relaxing with him at night talking like the old friends we are... at the same time i started to be involved in a creative project that makes me feel cool while designing etc keeping my thoughts away from PSSD... and not only libido came back again...but the sensation of romaticism and love deep in my soul... I was even very nervous because I used to be very easy to feel like that and suddenly It bit me aout of the blue.

 

First time in 2 years I could feel love again and feel vulnerable and overaffectionate for someone.... I could see him attractive and desiderable, not like a sister when look at her brother and thinks he is gorgeous. I made love with a conexion I havent had in 2 years.

 

It has been the best days in two years and this has alleviate my depression. I have more hope.

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
escitalopramsucks

Here it is again: My libido, will for intimacy and conexion with him has vanished.

At the same time my attraction for life, hobbies and beauty of a beach a landscape and music has dissapeared too.

In these weeks I was able again to feel enthusiasm for the things I used to have in the past...

 

I´m gonna try to be positive although I have the anguish deep in my stomach hurting again.

 

This is absolutely misery.... Can I think I had a window?

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

It sounds as if you did have a window and that now you're in a wave.  That will be a pattern for a while. The good news is that for most people, over time the windows get cleaner and bigger and the waves get shorter and less intense.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • 1 month later...
escitalopramsucks

I am totally inmersed in a window-waves world...

 

There are weeks when I can feel love and conexion with my partner... there are others, of disconnection: It feels weird, suddendly I´m prone to have sex with him cos I have feelings (not like the old years, but surely very different as when I´m numb), and then the wave come back and my anxiety too.... I feel I don´t love him anymore and makes me suffer. I am not interested in sex, in romance and I´m scared of not having any more windows.

 

I´m attending a psychologist and I can say the windows bring me hope despite the anxiety that is always stalking. I dont´know if he helps me or not.

 

When I am in a wave I feel I´m not gonna be in a window anymore and the depression symptons come back.. it is like being bipolar in the way it affects my emotions.

 

I feel proud of myself in some way... because I have been taking  2 mgs of lorazepam for 8 months and 2 months ago I took the opportunity during a window and achieved to reduce to 1,5 with great effort as I felt deeply the withdrawal (I felt like if I had flue and I could´t sleep).

 

Its 2 years since i have been suffering from PSSD and the only tips I can suggest are:

 

- Exercise ans activity. Try to focus in something different.

- Find an endocrinologist (the best one) I´m currently taking bioidentical progesterone (14-28 day of the cicle) and bioidentical DHEA, plus magnesium, B6 vitamin and levotiroxine.

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
  • 1 month later...
escitalopramsucks

Hi. I continue in the window waves world.

The end of summer and starting a curse that keeps me sedentary and not moving but studying on a chair is not helping.

 

I feel insane sometimes: I can feel love for my partner one week and stay a pathetic next one.

 

My libido 0 again. Only a bit remarkable the days of men striations what makes me feel disconnected of my love... Disconnected from society... Trying to stay calmer to keep away from anxiety.

 

The good new: in 4 months I have cut my lorazeepam dosis from 2 mg per day to 1 per day.

 

Will I have back my desire and attraction some day???

 

Kisses for everybody

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
escitalopramsucks

Guys. Winter time is destroying me... in summer I recovered my sexual capacity and a little libido that I enjoyed so much.It wasn´t all the time but I could say I had an improvemnet and felt butterflies in my stomach and feeling of love.

Now, I am in a bad wave and my sexuality is again 0... like 2 years and 2 months ago when this hell started. Numb. Sometimes i feel i´m with a friend instead of my partner and I´m scared about going back to the depression I experienced last winter when i almost killed myself.

I try to continue with jobs, studies, but I´m inside so sad... I feel my boyfriend is the excepction: this last summer was good with him but I cannot feel atraction for any other guys or get excited with visual stimuli...etc- I feel so impaired and I´m losing my strenght again.

Winter is not helping cos bring me back memories about last winter, is something i dont have control on... I recognize situations of the past in my present cos i have lost my sexuality AGAIN.

Do you think is normal to have a recovery and after a very deep wave?

Thank you and rapid recoveries for everybody

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus

Part of the pattern of waves is windows of time where symptoms are very light or non-existent. I'm sorry that you are dealing with another wave. The good thing is that you had a long window. You will have another, and another until the waves are very short and tolerable and then there may come a time where the only place they have in your life is as unpleasant memories.

You may want to review this topic:  The Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • 1 year later...

Hey escitalopramsucks! How are you doing now?

Zoloft 50 mg from April 23, 2015 to August 28th, 2016 (1 year, 4 months).

4 week taper. Last dose on August 28, 2016

 

Mianserin 30 mg in an attempt to reverse PSSD from September 6th, 2017–around mid November 2017 after a few week taper. Did not fix PSSD

 

Currently taking: Melatonin and magnesium every night.

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  • 1 year later...

Hi @escitalopramsucks how are you these days?

- 2003 to 2015: celexa, 20 mg, ~12 years

- 2015: easy switch off celexa and onto cymbalta, 30mg

     (over a decade of fantastic years in here, with one anxiety/depressive episode brought on by a breakup, which I got through with therapy, tools, etc)

- 2017: Nov/December: tapered off cymbalta, 20mg --> 0, over 1.5 mo. in conjunction with my (former) psychiatrist. Zero date: 12/15/17

     (I was just sort of curious to try being off meds after so many (great) years. I wondered the degree to which meds may have been affecting my sex drive/orgasm/access to deeper emotions. After going off was ok for about 3 mo... then: horrible anxiety, panic attacks (first time in 14 years and way stronger than I ever had before), agitation, suicidal depression, crushing physical sensation, anhedonia, dp/dr, emotional numbness. Horrible.)

- 2018, July 21: Tried going back on celexa, 5mg

    (HORRIBLE adverse reaction, discontinued after 10 days, stopped 7/31/18, thought I would need to be hospitalized)

- 2018, Aug 3: Tried remeron, got up to 15mg for 14 days, then tapered back down to 3.5 mg/d (super sedating, couldn't think and could feel even less)

- 2018, Sept 7 - Oct: Restarted Cymbalta, ~4mg (sept 9, stopped the 3.5 mg of remeron). Went up to 13 mg Cymbalta, then right back down to 4.5mg.

    (Now see it as withdrawal and am wanting to get off and heal.)

 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to escitalopramsucks: PSSD by courtesy of escilatopram
  • 9 months later...
escitalopramsucks

Hi all!! Sorry for the delayed message but i haven't passed around here in ages!! 

 

Anyway, I can cheer you up with my comments! 

 

If you have read my posts you will have seen I. Had extreme PSSD, big problems with sleeping, extreme anxiety... Blunted emotions... I was very very depressed and certainly I didn't consider go back to antidepressants to gey some relief so I passed through this with little benzo dosis help... 

 

My life now:

 

SLEEP completely recovered! I remember about 2 years ago I phoned my best friend and told her:i have been sleeping properly for 6 days... It just came up all in a sudden, and, since then the quality of. My sleep keeps good. I couldnt believe it my life started to get better and I wasnt a zombie at work anymore. 

 

BLUNTED emotions. Over recovered. I think after all this suffering I have became hiper sensitive and hiper emotional. Nowadays Its easy for me to start crying and I feel more dramatic than before. This is in general. Perhaps I am now more prone to worry and feel fear because I was very ill (DEPREESSION) and feel authentic terror. It was too hard and though many times about death as a escape for the nighmare. 

 

It's true when I started to recover emotions bad ones came first so anxiety occupied all of then, because honestly, I was the first weeks after quitting totally numb and I gave a **** about everything.... Until anxiety knocked the door... Terror and anxiety asnunique feelings. 

During this first times i didnt have passion for hobbies  or any activitie or person, my natural excitement for travelling, going out etc disappeared. .. I didnt feel myself. I felt my identity was lost. Thats when depression came. The worst part was I didn't like men anymore. I have to say that even nowadays Im Not he same person I used to be in this sense, as everything is more like a straight line and things people,, doesn't t make me feel so excited. But I enjoy things in this different way!!!don't get me wrong! ! It has got better. For me it has been an improvement but  and at the same time an adaptation to this new way of feeling (less intense). So to sum up:Im more intense and worried but Im less passionate for activities, movies, travelling... one tip, force yourself to do things but dont think too. Much if you dont enjoy a lot. Just keep trying from time to time, when you are in the mood. 

 

Respect to what worried me most-

I couldn't feel crushes and excitement for men-I say again Im not the same as I used to be as well. But I had to reinvented myself:in the past It was  easy for me to feel sexual aroused just talking to a man  or just looking at him or flirting in a bar...I had an appetite for dating, meeting new guys.. I had this curiosity that flows naturally when you and your libido works well.I had to discover that the post antidepressants girl  needs to feel in love to get some arouse or some romantic feeling. I don't like this part because it still scares me.. It feels its not as easy for me to socializing because I still feel abnormal. But I cant say anymore I have lost the capacity to fall in love and have a family because I got it!!  The good part is I WAS ABLE TO FALL IN LOVE, so the esential is back!!!! and I feel profoundly happy for this recovery. In fact, I came across a friend of the past and little by little this friendship became a huge crush and finally a deep love. I had my first butterflies in the stomach after the pills(in the past I uswd to have this butterflies quite often) I got married last November. So, yes, we can!!! Maybe in a different way but it happened. 

 

SEX:not the same as before, but it has improved a lot. Its definitely good. I have toys and with this help I can orgasm 3 times with my husband. On the other hand I never have this sensation of... "Oh, goss, i need sex right now" as libido is poor. But when I start it feel cool. Toys can help very, very, much. And orgasms are sometimes very good and sometimes not as good. I don't know why is like this.. It doesn't depend on anything... So I'm very happy ad well with this part. The intercourses have been transformed but they are much better than years ago, and I feel more sensations year by year, for ex. On my nipples. And dryness improved.

Besides, after the horrible escitalopram(lexapro) my menstruation was wrecked. Now my hormones are perfect and have cicles every 30 days (just after the drugs every 15 days). 

 

DRUGS: My anxiety is controlled now, but when it starts is still a pain in the neck. Sense of insecurity, crying, fears...and I have to work so In my case I use a small quantity of a light benzo when I feel horrible. Avoid any medication if you are stable enought!!! 

 

Hope my experience can light some people's though. With PSSD life is dark and we need to see it at the end of the tunnel. 

 

Thanks to Altotrata and all the people I exchanged mails with. You were my guides and my support for years. I never forget your mails and your advices and your understanding. Hugs for all the good people of the forum. And keep safe now with coronavirus. 

 

-

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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  • Administrator

Thanks for this good news and the kind words, esc. What drugs are you taking now?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Administrator

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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escitalopramsucks

Dear Altostrata!! A pleasure to say hello to you. :)

 

Hope you are doing well. Thanks for this marvelous symbol I feel so identified with as, as a good Spanish I love sun and summer. 

 

Thank you, thank you thanks for all the messages and support. I couldn't have passed through this horror without people who believed in my story and read my words. 

 

Keep safe and sound. 

 

Hugs

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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escitalopramsucks
45 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Thanks for this good news and the kind words, esc. What drugs are you taking now?

0,5 lorazepam when needed. Never more than 0,5 a day

PROBLEM. PSSD 
Symptons:- 1 Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - 2 I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. -3 I have noticed that my breast  don´t get swollen before menstruation (This has improved) -4  Lack of vaginal discharge (this has improved)- 5 Barely absence of vaginal odour
Induced by In Escitalopram 1 year and two months
Begining:10 mg per day -Jun 2013 to May 2013-
Reduce to 10 gr every two days - Jun 2013 to Aug 2013

Eventually quit on September 2013.

Slight Improvements. Window:  3 days on August 2015

WHY STARTING WITH IT?Great general anxiety that Esc. cured . Novemb 2015 anxiety hasd returned
Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014.

 

December 15. 0,5-1 gr lorazepam per day. 

"if you come up with any good ideas, please let me know"

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  • Administrator

How often do you take lorazepam and what is it you need it for?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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