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The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization


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On 12/9/2018 at 6:50 PM, Nena59 said:

Chochka,

I am going through this. I have been off 2 plus years and feel wd pretty bad. It seems I felt better, in that I had more windows, months ago. I did have some setbacks, my dad died in March and my mom had successful cancer surgery in April. I also get migraines almost weekly for sometimes multiple days (these are a lifetime problem, but it really affects me).

I am really getting discouraged. My main symptom is anhedonia...no joy, no energy, no hope. Any type of stress seems to affect me. I have at times thought that I wish to be dead. I wonder if I will have to go back on antidepressants. I've tried counselors, but they don't believe in paws. I have a very supportive group of friends and family. I don't know what to do except push, push, push. Mornings are usually pretty bad, but evenings are sometimes better.

I would love to hear any encouragement. I'm scared that since this is not really improving much that this is it.

 

Try not to fear, there is hope,

Mornings are not good for me either, but I push. evenings are better, are you currently working? Try to find some interests like hobbies, sports, gym, its very important to keep the  mind busy.

 

 

Have you tried in the past any herbs supplements like Omega 3 fish oil, you can purchase it from ebay, or indian herbs for energy, ashwaganda is good for relax

2011 protracted withdrawal symptoms from Effexor, managed to come off
2013-2015  risperidone consta 50 mg, started tapering from March 2015 to 1,66mg/day and from 02/2015 started seroxat 10mg/day

01/17 Seroxat 2,0mg,olanzapine 5mg,risperidone consta 25mg/every 15days

05/17 Seroxat 1mg,olanzapine 5mg,risp.consta 25mg/every 15days

06/17 Seroxat 2drops,olanzapine 5mg,liquid risperidone2mg

07/17 Seroxat 1 drop,olanzapine 5mg,Risperidone 0mg, 10/17 Seroxat 0mg,olanzapine,5mg,Risperidone 0mg, 12/17 Seroxat 1/2 drop, olanzapine 5mg,  04/18 Olanzapine 1,25mg, 04/18 xanax 0,5mg

24/06/2019 doc said to take 10mg olanzapine for 13days and down to 5mg
 been taking 10mg for 14 days, 5mg for 8 days  and  tapered to  3/4quart. 5mg  for 14 days, 1/2 for 14 days,

01/08/19 2,5mg

08/2021 5mg olanzapine

Supplements Omega 3, Turmeric, Bacopa monneri, Mucuna Pruriens

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Miko, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  Unfortunately, recovery from these drugs takes time, more than we'd like.  No, doctors and counselors don't believe in PAWS but it is very real.

 

How Long Is Withdrawal Going to Take?

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • 1 month later...

I think I'm starting to see a bit of a pattern with the windows and waves and wonder if anyone else can relate? 

When I'm in waves I don't dream. I sleep like the dead but I've started to connect the periods of dreaming with the onset of a window. 

My thought is the dreaming phase is when the brain is rewiring itself or sorting things out?? 

Does this sound feasible? 

Lexapro 10MG

Almost continually for 25 odd years 

Reduced to 5MG beginning July 2018-  end August 2018

August 2018 til now off completely 

 

 

 

 

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On 2/15/2018 at 12:29 PM, Vonnegutjunky said:

Sorry if there is already a similar topic, just looking for others who may also experience these extreme windows and waves. 

 

When im in a wave it seems I’ll never feel better again, and like my windows weren’t real. 

Then when I’m in a window I feel so normal, motivated, almost good, and it feels like my waves are all done and they won’t come back. 

 

They are just so extreme. 

 

Can anyone else relate? 

Do they become less extreme? 

Hi V I do relate. My windows are so clear.For a few months off and on.now back into a really bad wave going on 2 weeks

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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56 minutes ago, RusTW said:

Hi V I do relate. My windows are so clear.For a few months off and on.now back into a really bad wave going on 2 weeks

Thank you Rus, it’s so mind boggling 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

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  • 2 weeks later...
1 hour ago, Maryb said:

May I ask what symptoms you are having?  Are you completely off your medications?  I hope you are seeing some improvements.  I am going through a horrible wave again.  This is such suffering.  

Hi Maryb.

 

I've been completely off my meds for over two and a half years now, having gone CT after a prolonged period of jumping on and off various tablets at the doctor's advice. I thought things were improving a year or so off but I've been struggling badly again for the last year. I think the recent waves have been triggered by getting typhoid (very mildly) a year ago, which triggered a wave of about 8 months, and then taking a typhoid vaccine about two months ago which started it all off again. The symptoms aren't as bad as when I first went CT and some of them have pretty much gone, but the main ones are intense drowsiness, foggy brain, short-term memory problems, tinnitus, achy muscles and headaches and occasionally a numb face and tingly feeling up and down my body and head. The irritation has faded a lot, and the anxiety and tearfulness, although they still raise their ugly heads from time to time. It seems to me that I don't have any reserves - I'm ok(ish) if everything else is on an even keel but any kind of knock will really unbalance me and produce symptoms. And when I say 'ok' I mean that the symptoms are manageable, not that I feel 'normal'. Illness is a killer, but other things also knock me off centre, like alcohol, exercise and cold remedies. And woe betide me if I don't get a good night's sleep! I think I have at least another two if not three or more, years before I am symptom free, and I can see the symptoms coming back for years to come if anything serious happens. 

 

What about you? What are your symptoms?

Originally went on prozac 2008 for CFS - 20mg

Finished end 2012 - extreme anxiety and insomnia for a year, reinstated Jan 2014 - 40mg.

Jan 2015 tapered to 20mg - 5 months WD

Sept 2015 - took 3 tablets for vertigo - triggered 5 months WD

Switched to sertraline Dec 2015 - didn't work so went CT Jan 2016. 6 weeks of breathing and sleep problems so reinstated sertraline.

April 2016 CT - WD started.

April - August 2016 very low dose zopiclone - made WD worse so stopped end August 2017

Since Sept 2016 WD: drowsiness and fatigue; headaches (ended Christmas 2016); numb face (ended Christmas 2016); vivid dreams; anxiety and tearfulness; dizziness; nausea; loud tinnitus; irrational feelings of fear and dread; tingling up and down the backs of my legs; some insomnia but that's getting better. 

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On 3/17/2019 at 5:50 AM, RusTW said:

Hi V I do relate. My windows are so clear.For a few months off and on.now back into a really bad wave going on 2 weeks

 

I'm pretty early in to this but am blown away by the clarity of the window I had at 8 months. I was working, I was sharp, I was normal (I was employed) and then one day about a month ago (9 months after initial cold turkey off Lexapro), it was like uh oh I 'm having trouble understanding and then I felt unwell.. all the things came back, the fog, the fluey-ness, motion sensitivity, light sensitivity, sadness and today its lifted again 4 weeks later, almost back to normal ..but no job now 😞

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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On 2/25/2019 at 2:51 PM, Nevertoolate said:

I think I'm starting to see a bit of a pattern with the windows and waves and wonder if anyone else can relate? 

When I'm in waves I don't dream. I sleep like the dead but I've started to connect the periods of dreaming with the onset of a window. 

My thought is the dreaming phase is when the brain is rewiring itself or sorting things out?? 

Does this sound feasible? 

Noticed my dreams the past couple of nights, just coming off a wave now. Interesting!!

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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17 minutes ago, Dizzy4 said:

 

I'm pretty early in to this but am blown away by the clarity of the window I had at 8 months. I was working, I was sharp, I was normal (I was employed) and then one day about a month ago (9 months after initial cold turkey off Lexapro), it was like uh oh I 'm having trouble understanding and then I felt unwell.. all the things came back, the fog, the fluey-ness, motion sensitivity, light sensitivity, sadness and today its lifted again 4 weeks later, almost back to normal ..but no job now 😞

oh im sorry .im going in and out of heavy waves every 3 days fatigue fog anxiety 

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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5 minutes ago, RusTW said:

oh im sorry .im going in and out of heavy waves every 3 days fatigue fog anxiety 

every three days! 😔  How are you today?

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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Just now, Dizzy4 said:

every three days! 😔  How are you today?

beginning wave fatigue flu symptoms 

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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😔what do you do? Bed? Netflix? I feel like I watched ALL the shows last year when I was going through my initial withdrawal!

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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5 minutes ago, Dizzy4 said:

😔what do you do? Bed? Netflix? I feel like I watched ALL the shows last year when I was going through my initial withdrawal!

During waves netflix for sure. Mostly stay productive.work -art -music-hiking whatever works to distract from wd.I push myself to do new things and c new places.even when im bad.i stay out of bed in the day.i cant nap

During windows I take it all in and try to note it down for later reference.

Windows- I take care of everything i laxed on during waves.Family- friends- pets- yardwork- errands.

Like emerging from a big storm feeling relief.lol.

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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5 minutes ago, RusTW said:

Mostly stay productive.work -art -music-hiking whatever works to distract from wd.I push myself to do new things and c new places.even when im bad.i stay out of bed in the day.i cant nap

 

Windows- I take care of everything i laxed on during waves.Family- friends- pets- yardwork- errands.

Like emerging from a big storm feeling relief.lol.

Sounds like me!  After quite a few sedentary months last year, I actually don't enjoy laying down during the day. I lost muscle tone and had trouble walking my kids up the hill to school without losing my breath! I'm working on getting a stronger body again. Even when I'm feeling pretty crappy, I can walk or do Yin yoga which I've rediscovered 😍 

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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3 minutes ago, Dizzy4 said:

 

Sounds like me!  After quite a few sedentary months last year, I actually don't enjoy laying down during the day. I lost muscle tone and had trouble walking my kids up the hill to school without losing my breath! I'm working on getting a stronger body again. Even when I'm feeling pretty crappy, I can walk or do Yin yoga which I've rediscovered 😍 

Staying busy is what keeps me from going bananas .i always exercised during this wd thing.nothing like the past very mild exercise.i got over weight on zyprexa took 6 months to lose 35lbs.

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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1 hour ago, Dizzy4 said:

Noticed my dreams the past couple of nights, just coming off a wave now. Interesting!!

I don't doubt it's possible! 

Lexapro 10MG

Almost continually for 25 odd years 

Reduced to 5MG beginning July 2018-  end August 2018

August 2018 til now off completely 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi mary b,

 

Well, i'm happy to say at this point things are looking a lot better. A lot. Back in october through january more or less my symptoms were very heavy anxiety all day, most days. I would obsess about existential stuff, the afterlife, stuff like that. I would have very depressed days. Sometimes both anxiety and depression. Difficulty getting to sleep. Waking up too early. Couldnt eat any sort of carbs or sugar without getting hear palpitations. Couldnt excercise, it would make anxiety worse the next day. I feel like im out of that big wave and experiencing wavelets now. If i drink even decaf for a couple days it will make me anxious the following few days. Cant overexert myself, that makes things worse as well.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was on lexapro and mirtazipine for abot ten years so getting totally free of them may take a while. But i know it can be done.

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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On 4/4/2019 at 11:32 PM, Maryb said:

Hi Dizzy4,

 

I have a hard time watching TV everything seems to make me feel more sad.  Is that normal?

Hi Maryb, I'm so sorry I missed this!  No, not normal, although I understand. I'm really careful about what I watch at the moment i.e. what I'm feeding my brain. I keep it very light or otherwise something which takes me away to a nice place, I'm just too fragile. We watch a lot of Brooklyn Nine Nine here but that's not for everyone, it just works for me :-)

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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3 minutes ago, Maryb said:

MY CNS was very unable to watch anything when I first went into withdrawals but getting better.  Thanks for responding. 

 

Oh yes, I put the tv on and then just stare to the side of it when I'm really bad. My eyes/brain can't handle it.

Lexapro:  2013 -  20 mg, then 30 mg then 40 mg 2016. Cold turkey 4 June 2018. Reinstated August 24 2018 at 5mg (not tapering while I'm tapering the Effexor XR)

Effexor XR -  75mg  7 June 2018, increased to 150mg August 2018. Tapering September 2018 10% first drop, 5% second drops every 4 weeks 07 March 2019 112.5mg, 02 June 2019 112.5mg minus 30 beads

Seroquel 12.5mg - May 2018 - September 2018 prescribed after work stress to augment Lexapro

Phenergen - 10mg as needed from June 2018 - August 2018 for disequilibrium

Rizatriptan - 10mg as needed from June 2018 to December 2018 for "vestibular migraine" onset

Propranalol - June 2018 prescribed for vestibular migraine prevention 80mg;  30mg Oct 2018, 10mg May 2019

Valium -  2.5mg  - intermittent use for withdrawal symptoms

Stemitil - 2003 for cervicogenic dizziness and June 2018 for dizziness/nausea (not effective)

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil x 2 capsules (EPA 180mg + 120mg) 09/09/19 2 x 2000mg (360mg EPA + 240mg DHA each), vitamin C, magnesium diglycinate 3g,. Taurine 3g , vitamin D3, vitex, bone broth, 

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Sorry I took so long to reply Mary. I think you were asking me about symptoms so I'll tell you:

 

The worst was hardcore anxiety all day every day. Obsessive thoughts and worries about existential questions. Not getting enough sleep. Excercise intolerance. Food intolerance—sugar, carbs, caffeine, basically all the crap you're not supposed to eat anyway.

 

Everything has eased up a LOT at this point. I still have a lingering negative bias about nearly everything. fatigue. A vague sense of overwhelm about a lot of things that don't deserve that kind of outfreakage. meaning of life questions still linger they're just not nearly as loud.

 

If I had a "suck" knob on my brain in October it would have been on 8, now it's at about 3.5.

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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The windows and waves pattern is so frustrating and painful 

The last couple of weeks have been pretty good but yesterday was fantastic. We were looking after the grandies I was feeling so good! Playing football, basketball, walking the dog, laughing. It's the best I've felt in a long time. 

Then BAM today I'm feeling withdrawn tired absolutely no energy. Muscles feel like jelly. 

I know this is par for the course but sometimes I have to share coz I know you all understand. 

Of course I'll get through it but I hate it  😖😖

Lexapro 10MG

Almost continually for 25 odd years 

Reduced to 5MG beginning July 2018-  end August 2018

August 2018 til now off completely 

 

 

 

 

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Do other people find they have shorter and less intense waves from smaller drops? I find I have more frequent waves that are very short lived and less intense once starting a more appropriate taper? I can have multiple small waves throughout the day. Less debilitating, but more frequent than the multiple day waves I would have from bug drops. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78

Medication signature.docx

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On 4/4/2019 at 6:30 AM, Maryb said:

Good morning all,

 

I cannot taper at this time 30mg cymbalta.  I've tried many attempts to get off by switching to generic with small beads and it didn't work.  I ended up so severely in withdrawal for one month while trying on the small beads.  I hope that didn't do permanent damage; although I had many windows and waves too afterwards.  I have been back on my old generic (large beads) Lupin brand for 6 months now. I can't tell if I'm in a crappy window or less intense wave.  Can I still heal while on my medication without tapering.  I really need help.  Has there been anyone out there that has experienced this.  I'm very sad, crying, no real joy, not much to look forward to.  I'm taking xanax .5 twice a day and it was working but doesn't to be working lately.  I really need hope and to hear if anyone has a similar experience.  Please let me know your story and if it is possible to heal while still on the AD.  I think I will give it 2-3 more months and I will have to start to lower using my generic with each bead being 5mg.  My capsule has 6 beads in it.  Has anyone tapered using these beads.


Thank you for your help.

 

Regards and God bless us all. 

Hey @Maryb I’m in a similar situation as I lowered my 3 meds to low levels and got severe wds.Every symtom u can imagine,I too have had a couple clear windows but I seem to eat bad and expose myself to stress when in window and my CNS just freaks out.I know that 6/7 yrs ago I got down half my doses and had a 4/5 year window so ur brain can heal while u go thru the process of tapering as small amounts are removed from the brain.I did a small 5mg updose on the Effexor in hopes it will quiet some of the mental pain.We are all diff but myself I’m goin to hold until my windows are longer.im tryin to watch my diet now,trying to avoid trans fat,vegetable oils,sugar,gluten.Also removing myself from coaching sports as I have done for 15yrs but at this time my CNS isn’t ready.Hope that helped a lil @Maryb

1992-1995 Tofranil : was hospitalized 

1996 Zoloft, Larazepam- CT 1996

1996-  Effexor till now

2002- Remron till now

2008- Trazodone 

2010- Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010 hospitalized then CT Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010-  Lamictal till now

2011- tapered off Trazodone

2011- tapered Effexor from 150mg to 75mg / Tapered Remeron 30ng to 7.5mg / Tapered Lamictal 50mg to 37.5mg

1/27/2017 Tapered Effexor 75mg to 31.25mg

 

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Like many or all of you, I have read a TON about withdrawing from my antidepressants. Mine is Lexapro (SSRI). My waves and windows don't seem to align very closely with any withdrawal stories that I've read. So far, my waves last roughly 7 days or a touch less, (and I've had MANY). My windows tend to last anywhere from 14 days to a couple of months. Mid way through my windows, I tend to feel pretty normal and toward the end of my windows, I feel pretty darn good, but notice I start to become kind of an *******. Soon following, when my waves come on, they hit me like a truck, fast and hard. Early AM's are the worst with overwhelming feelings of absolute despair and everything else that goes along with them.

 

Does or has anyone experienced window and wave cycles like this? My cycles of high windows and low waves are making me feel like I'm bipolar.

 

In longer windows, I start to get confident that I'm healing and ready to taper again. Then a wave hits and my world crumbles again. I'm into my 4th day of a wave now and am trying desperately to make connection with what others are going through or have gone through.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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Oh yes. I thought I was DONE with this whole ride 3 weeks ago. Nope! 

 

Yes mornings suck. I have been getting a good 7.5 to 8 hours sleep but in the morning no dozing in and out of sleep. I get the grab-in-the-gut fear jolts so I'm up whether I like it or not. And then I have a nice existential crisis in the shower.

 

I've been off drugs for a year. Withdrawal didn't really kick in til 6 months after zero dosage. Still have the windows and waves. Waves are not nearly as severe as they were in Oct.-Dec.

 

It's confusing as hell. I always wonder, "How can this be withdrawal? I felt completely over it 3 weeks ago! Is it something else??  ' the hell is wrong with me???"

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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1 hour ago, MRothbard said:

Oh yes. I thought I was DONE with this whole ride 3 weeks ago. Nope! 

 

Yes mornings suck. I have been getting a good 7.5 to 8 hours sleep but in the morning no dozing in and out of sleep. I get the grab-in-the-gut fear jolts so I'm up whether I like it or not. And then I have a nice existential crisis in the shower.

 

I've been off drugs for a year. Withdrawal didn't really kick in til 6 months after zero dosage. Still have the windows and waves. Waves are not nearly as severe as they were in Oct.-Dec.

 

It's confusing as hell. I always wonder, "How can this be withdrawal? I felt completely over it 3 weeks ago! Is it something else??  ' the hell is wrong with me???"

 

Thanks for responding @MRothbard. I've been feeling like an outlier lately and have been having a harsher time than usual within this wave because of it. Awesome job on tapering down to zero! I look forward to that day. And then I look forward to the year anniversary after my last wave too, whenever that may be. It will happen!

I get decent sleep, almost normal, mid to late into my windows. I get little to no sleep in my waves. Insomnia sucks! Zero appetite, high anxiety and panic, intrusive thoughts (suicidal at really bad points), vomiting, crying, mush brain and zero short term memory, etc. You know, the usual for most of us here.

I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back sometimes with my waves, but in general, overall, my waves are better today than they were 9 months ago. It sounds similar to what you've said, but I'm not at zero yet. I pray this means we're on our way to full recovery.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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I have mostly mental symptoms, although I wonder if my hypertension isn't psych-med or withdrawal related. I think I'd trade some physical symptoms for the mental garbage.

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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so what were you on?

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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Most, if not all of my symptoms are still mental, at this point. I do feel flu like symptoms and vomit or dry heave in the mornings during the worst of my waves, and my body gets extremely restless and my legs twitch and jump a bit during the worst of it, but it's short lived and I can mentally stop them.

 

Mentally, it's despair, anxiety, panic, fear, intrusive abstract thoughts, insomnia, funky dreams, exhaustion but forced awake as I doze off, crying, extreme fuzzy brain, minimal short term memory ability, minimal ability to comprehend information, suicidal ideations, etc. etc. Basically, waves are a living Hell for me. But... They seem to be getting better. I don't suffer from brain zaps, vertigo, achey eye sockets, and a few other things, like I did at the beginning. I can totally see how prolonged exposure to all of this mental stress and anguish could eventually contribute to heart disease or a stroke or some other horrible physical ailment, but I can't worry about that now.

 

I need to update my signature, but I am currently on 0.055g of Lexapro daily, and my listed supplements.

1999: Paxil ?? mgai (Paroxetine Hydrochloride) - stopped cold turkey
2001-03: Celexa ?? mgai (Citalopram Hydrobromide) - switched to Lexapro
2003-August 2015: Lexapro 20 mgai (Escitalopram Oxalate) - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 0 mgai
December 2015 - January 2016: Short hospital stay for unknown acute AD WD due to rapid taper
January 2016-February 21, 2016: Prozac ?? mgai (Fluoxetine Hcl) and Wellbutrin ?? mgai (Bupropion Hcl) - switched to Lexapro
February 21, 2016-July 22, 2018: Lexapro 10 mgai  - rapid 5 mgai increment taper down to 5 mgai
July 22, 2018-March 17, 2019: Lexapro 5 mgai - endured horrible waves due to rapid taper
March 17, 2019-April 7, 2019: Lexapro 3.226 mgai - endured horrible wave due to rapid taper
April 7, 2019-April 28, 2019: Lexapro 3.548 mgai - updosed to level out
April 28, 2019: Implemented Brass Monkey Slide taper method (2.5% weekly reduction) - IT’S WORKING!!!
September 2, 2020: Lexapro 0.000 mgai / 0 mgpw / 100% Taper COMPLETE!

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On 4/25/2019 at 3:38 PM, Iowan said:

Like many or all of you, I have read a TON about withdrawing from my antidepressants. Mine is Lexapro (SSRI). My waves and windows don't seem to align very closely with any withdrawal stories that I've read. So far, my waves last roughly 7 days or a touch less, (and I've had MANY). My windows tend to last anywhere from 14 days to a couple of months. Mid way through my windows, I tend to feel pretty normal and toward the end of my windows, I feel pretty darn good, but notice I start to become kind of an *******. Soon following, when my waves come on, they hit me like a truck, fast and hard. Early AM's are the worst with overwhelming feelings of absolute despair and everything else that goes along with them.

 

Does or has anyone experienced window and wave cycles like this? My cycles of high windows and low waves are making me feel like I'm bipolar.

 

In longer windows, I start to get confident that I'm healing and ready to taper again. Then a wave hits and my world crumbles again. I'm into my 4th day of a wave now and am trying desperately to make connection with what others are going through or have gone through.

do not worry, you are not alone. my windows are also at least 2 weeks.  my waves are around 10 days. and i had so many like you. also, my symptoms are very similar. morning despair and anxiety are the worse for me. plus adhedonia. the truck comes from nowhere for me. last two windows i was sure it was over. it was not...so i changed the strategy. i am in a window presently. i am waiting for the new wave. i am expecting it. this time i am really waiting for it to happen.

 

a doctor who is a friend but can not accept that this is wd said to me that it looks like i have become bipolar.  when in wave i start to think that she was right. but when in window (presently) i know she is not.

 

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

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On 4/26/2019 at 5:51 AM, Iowan said:

Most, if not all of my symptoms are still mental, at this point. I do feel flu like symptoms and vomit or dry heave in the mornings during the worst of my waves, and my body gets extremely restless and my legs twitch and jump a bit during the worst of it, but it's short lived and I can mentally stop them.

 

Mentally, it's despair, anxiety, panic, fear, intrusive abstract thoughts, insomnia, funky dreams, exhaustion but forced awake as I doze off, crying, extreme fuzzy brain, minimal short term memory ability, minimal ability to comprehend information, suicidal ideations, etc. etc. Basically, waves are a living Hell for me. But... They seem to be getting better. I don't suffer from brain zaps, vertigo, achey eye sockets, and a few other things, like I did at the beginning. I can totally see how prolonged exposure to all of this mental stress and anguish could eventually contribute to heart disease or a stroke or some other horrible physical ailment, but I can't worry about that now.

 

I need to update my signature, but I am currently on 0.055g of Lexapro daily, and my listed supplements.

I have all same symtoms in waves as well but they last longer.Im polydrugged which makes it harder to figure what’s what.Fear,intrusive thoughts and the knot in my stomach they create sucks.You have done great gettin down to .0055,I’m at lower doses but have to hold and hope the windows come more often and waves less dark.

1992-1995 Tofranil : was hospitalized 

1996 Zoloft, Larazepam- CT 1996

1996-  Effexor till now

2002- Remron till now

2008- Trazodone 

2010- Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010 hospitalized then CT Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010-  Lamictal till now

2011- tapered off Trazodone

2011- tapered Effexor from 150mg to 75mg / Tapered Remeron 30ng to 7.5mg / Tapered Lamictal 50mg to 37.5mg

1/27/2017 Tapered Effexor 75mg to 31.25mg

 

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On 4/27/2019 at 1:03 PM, persistente said:

a doctor who is a friend but can not accept that this is wd said to me that it looks like i have become bipolar.  when in wave i start to think that she was right. but when in window (presently) i know she is not.

 

maybe you could give her a link to this forum? Doctors are so uninformed about WD! 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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1 hour ago, JackieDecides said:

 

maybe you could give her a link to this forum? Doctors are so uninformed about WD! 

 

i tried but when people do not want to find out the truth there is no link that can make them do so...we do not talk about this anymore..and we are not the friends we used to be...

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

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2 hours ago, persistente said:

we do not talk about this anymore..and we are not the friends we used to be...

 

I'm sorry. 

I know my doctor believes if a drug doesn't work for anxiety and/or depression it's because you aren't on the right one or need a higher dose, etc. 

this makes me not mention anxiety to her because we can't talk about it. hardly ideal for your primary care doctor!

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi all. I've posted here once before but long story short I was on Zoloft for about 5 years starting at age 16, gradually upped dosage until I had the poop out effect and got off at 21. Reinstated the beginning of this year due to symtoms getting very bad out of nowhere, which after this site I realize was probably the weird waves that hits around 8-12 months out, was 8 for me.

 

Anyway, took Zoloft again on 50mg for 2 months, after feeling better and not suicidal again and fed up with side effects (emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, etc) I quit again over the period of about two weeks. I didn't start having bad withdrawals until about two or so weeks out, which was severe anhedonia, depersonalizatuon/derealization. I went three weeks through no changes emotionally, nothing brought pleasure, couldn't cry, genital anesthesia, had a two day window, where i was maybe 50% again, then went back to a wave, and last week I had a window lasting around the whole week.

 

I'm currently in a wave again, I'm about one week out from my three month mark. 

 

 

I'm confused about Windows and what classifies as one, during all this I have never felt myself, but had periods of less symptoms. During my window I could get slightly embarrssed again, felt some periods of motivation, could cry (though not much, but had several periods of hot tears and then sometimes a bit more than that, but never full out crying) and didn't feel as disconnected from the world as usual, could put more thought into conversation, could think about relationships some, had partial return of genital feeling and orgasm intensity (maybe 60%) etc. Does that count as a window ? Do people going through Windows eventually hit one where they feel 100%, or even just 90% themself ? This wave has been weird, it started Sunday. It hasn't been as relentless up until today, it wasn't as severe, even during it I have periods it lessens by about maybe 10-20%, but not feeling as good as last week window.

 

Also, do you find periods cause a wave ? I noticed the wave hit and got worse when my period began. Lastly, why would the first time getting off Zoloft will the symptoms would resolve within 3 weeks, after being on a higher dosage longer, and now I have much more severe effects after a much shorter period and dosage. I was very reckless the first time on them, I was a teenage kid with tons of anxiety and no will to live really. Abused alcohol, skipped doses regularly, did psychedelics, etc. I guess I got lucky. I wish I had never reinstated but it is too late now. If anyone could answer any of these Id be super grateful, thank you. 

 

Also, thank you alto for this site. It's been helping immensely knowing I'm not alone.

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hormones affect withdrawals terribly in my experience. i'm peri-menopausal and i'm sure it's making withdrawal a whole lot harder to deal with. 

i class a window as the days i get when i still have the withdrawal effects but they are greatly reduced. some people class a window as any cessation in symptoms, for example i find my anxiety drops a huge amount as the evening wears on, but i don't class that as a window, that's just normal for me as my cortisol levels drop throughout the day. i've had 3 good days now which i class as a window. the first two days were great - i still had symptoms but they were manageable and not taking over my whole day. the first two days i had greatly reduced anxiety and very few intrusive thoughts, and those i had i could dismiss. the 3rd day wasn't quite so good but better than normal - that was yesterday. i was starting to feel the anxiety rising and i was getting hooked by intrusive thoughts. today my anxiety and ocd are back to what they have been throughout withdrawal so i class that as being back into a wave. i have maybe one of two days a month that i class as windows. some months go by with none, sometimes if i'm lucky i get them more often in a month. 

i just wish i could learn how to handle the waves better after a window. the windows are so blissful i never want them to end, then when i wake the next day back to 'normal' i completely wig out and feel like i'm back at square one. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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