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The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization


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On 8/16/2018 at 7:12 PM, Steve61 said:

Yes, anxiety is my constant companion. Has been my entire life , it is just ramped up by the withdrawals. I’ve got to be realistic though. It is not just withdrawals,. My anxiety is worse because of tapering my ad’s but it has always been there. Time for me to try new things. Meditation is at the top of the list. If I am going to live drug free, then I have got to try and find a way to master this anxiety that dominates my life. When my anxiety is really bad it can manifest itself as a physical illness. Especially aching joints. 

 

I have just tapered another 5 mgs and my anxiety is up a little more. I went to the cinema yesterday and while watching the film, I could hear sounds from the screen next door and it was annoying me. Just like the neighbours annoy me at night with their tv !!!!!!   I’m determined,though,to see this through. This site helps a lot. If it wasn’t for this site, I would have given up. Knowing that what I am going through is ‘normal’ makes it bearable

 

Steve

Me too. Anxiety has always been there...  

anciety has been messing with my brain lately. I wakened and reinstated from 5mg lexapro to 10mg. The scary thing is today I feel just awful with the anxiety. Do now I’m scared that I can’t even settle it with meds. And then I feel like a failure for going back up a bit. Absolute mess right now. All I can keep saying is- it’ll pass... 

Hi! I’m JustCope. 

 Currently tapering off 20mg lexapro. I’m about 10 weeks in and at 5mg- kinda fast I realise- stupidly listened to a GP who spoke to me for 5 mins about stopping lexapro. 🤕

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On 8/18/2018 at 10:27 AM, Justcope said:

Me too. Anxiety has always been there...  

anciety has been messing with my brain lately. I wakened and reinstated from 5mg lexapro to 10mg. The scary thing is today I feel just awful with the anxiety. Do now I’m scared that I can’t even settle it with meds. And then I feel like a failure for going back up a bit. Absolute mess right now. All I can keep saying is- it’ll pass... 

Yes, JC , this too shall pass. That is one big positive about suffering with  anxiety for so long  - I know that eventually it will subside. Everything passes, whether I feel good, bad or indifferent - it passes.  I know the answer, for me, is to control this anxiety instead of it controlling me. So I am persevering with meditation. I’m not very good at it but I am going to keep practicing. I really think that is where my answer, to the problem of anxiety, lies.

 

I am no expert on tapering but it does sound as if you went from 20 mgs to 5 mgs a bit quick so going back up to 10 might be a good idea. It is something that I had to do and I felt better after a few days.

 

Good luck

Steve

Quote

Dosulepin 75 mgs per night since 1993.           Dosulepin March 16  2018   75mgs and 50 mgs alternate nights.             Dosulepin. March 30. 2018.  50 mgs per night

Dosulepin. May 2. 2018. 50mgs and 25 mgs alternate nights

Dosulepin. May 27 2018. 50 mgs per night ( increased )

Dosulepin. July 11 2018. 45 mgs per night

Dosulepin. August 13 2018  40 mgs per night

Dosulepin  October 10 2018. 37.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin. October. 24 2018. 35 mgs per night

Dosulepin. December 5 2018. 32.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin.  January 2. 2018  30mgs per night   February 14 2018  29 mgs per night

Dosulepin February 27  28 mgs per night

 

 

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13 hours ago, Steve61 said:

Yes, JC , this too shall pass. That is one big positive about suffering with  anxiety for so long  - I know that eventually it will subside. Everything passes, whether I feel good, bad or indifferent - it passes.  I know the answer, for me, is to control this anxiety instead of it controlling me. So I am persevering with meditation. I’m not very good at it but I am going to keep practicing. I really think that is where my answer, to the problem of anxiety, lies.

 

I am no expert on tapering but it does sound as if you went from 20 mgs to 5 mgs a bit quick so going back up to 10 might be a good idea. It is something that I had to do and I felt better after a few days.

 

Good luck

Steve

Yeah I went by the dr recommendations 🙄 they thought I’d be fine to stop completely after 2 weeks! 

Ive been reading a book called “how to rewire your anxious brain”. It’s pretty fantastic and has calmed me down greatly in understanding what my drain is doing. For an anxious  person, I feel this should be our bible! 😬

Hi! I’m JustCope. 

 Currently tapering off 20mg lexapro. I’m about 10 weeks in and at 5mg- kinda fast I realise- stupidly listened to a GP who spoke to me for 5 mins about stopping lexapro. 🤕

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On 8/8/2018 at 9:48 PM, Steve61 said:

This is my dilemma, how do we know that it isn’t the original symptoms that we took the ad’s for in the first place ?

Steve61 - the first time I went off Citalopram I got really bloated with constipation, then on a couple of occasions a weird dizzy feeling.  Still thinking ADs were benign (duh!), I went back on them.  Second time I came off I went into anxiety and depression some months later and thought oh my, it's my "condition", so went back on them.  I now know that these were withdrawal symptoms - not my original condition (which was moderate depression, the tablets never took away my uneasiness with life, though).  Third time I came off them I had all sorts of weird aching joints, jolts of SI type thinking, intense guilt - so went back on them, still thinking it was my "condition".  Then the proverbial hit the fan when I went to the Dr telling her I was soooo tired all the time and she advised changing to another AD - was taken through 4 different ones in 6 months, felt like I'd been hit by a bus by the fourth one, CTd off it - I definitely knew that the symptoms I got that time were withdrawals, there absolutely could be no mistaking it (and I'd started searching online and found David Healy which made me realise it was protracted withdrawal - well damage, really).  Your situation is different, I know but many people report being better off them than on and there has been some research about this (thought I can't quote it to you right now because I'd have to search a whole heap to find it), Healy, has some stuff on it.  But maybe this video will be of use to you https://youtu.be/yG_tA52D-rE- Laura Delano about her removal of psych meds and how she feels better.  She has started an online initiative called Inner Compass which may be something else to help you.

 

Wish I'd found SA, Healy et al many years ago when I would have learned about withdrawal risks and maybe could have tapered safely off them.

 

I'm 61, too, and facing multi-drug withdrawal now and weak wobbly legs (that's another story).

 

Wishing you well with your taper, take it slow and steady.

 

Neroli.

 

PS originally from Nottingham.

 

2006 Citalopram 20mg on and off to 2013.  April 2013 - July 2014  Sertraline, Venlafaxine, Fluoxetine, Mirtazapine v. bad reactions. July 2014 - CT Mirtazapine.  July 2014 - February 2016 Medication free, long term w/d.  February - July 2016 Fluoxetine.  Medication free, long term w/d syndrome.  2017 Jan physical breakdown.

2017 February - March Escitalopram, Nortriptyline instated.  Lorazepam, Zopiclone PRN.  April 2017 Lithium Carbonate 250mg 1 wk. 14 August 2017 finish cross to Diazepam 22.5mg daily, stop Zopiclone

Tapers:

Diazepam 

2017 21 August - 30 Dec 21.25mg to 14.5mg 2018 6 Jan - 11 May to 12mg.  2 June updose to 12.25mg - hold. 2019 (0.5mg cuts) 12 Jan - 28 Dec 12mg to 10mg 2020 (0.25mg cuts) - 25 Jan - 29 Dec 9.75mg to 6.25mg 2021 *May have bungled dose and accidentally took 1mg more for about a month (7.25mg), so 4 Jan started again at 6.5mg; 19 Jan 6.25mg; 1 Feb 6.0mg; 23 Feb 5.75mg; 9 Mar 5.5mg; 23 Mar 5.25mg; 9 Apr 5.0mg; 6 May 4.75mg; 13 May 4.5mg; 6 Jun 4mg; 12 July 3.5mg; 2 sep 3.0mg; 15 Sep 2.5mg; 1 Nov 2mg; 15 Nov 1.5mg; 16 Dec 1mg; 26 Dec 0.5mg; 2022 1 Jan - OFF

Escitalopram - 2022 1 Mar to 9mg; 29 Mar 8mg; 24 May 7mg; 21 Jun 5mg; 19 Jul 4mg; 1 Sep 3mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 31 Oct 1.5mg; 22 Nov 0.5mg; 2023 1 Jan 0.25mg; 1 Mar OFF

Nortriptyline  2018 90mg to 2020 1 Dec down to 72.5mg; 2021 20 May 70mg; 8 Jun 67.5mg; 24 Jun 65mg; 31 July 60mg; 12 Oct 55mg; 23 Oct 50mg; 2022 13 Jan 40mg; 22 Jan 30mg; 29 Mar 20mg; 26 Apr 10mg; 3 Aug 5mg; 23 Sep 2.5mg; 2023 1 Jan - OFF

 

1 March 2023 - off all drugs - 6-year taper off three drugs.

 

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7 hours ago, neroli said:

Steve61 - the first time I went off Citalopram I got really bloated with constipation, then on a couple of occasions a weird dizzy feeling.  Still thinking ADs were benign (duh!), I went back on them.  Second time I came off I went into anxiety and depression some months later and thought oh my, it's my "condition", so went back on them.  I now know that these were withdrawal symptoms - not my original condition (which was moderate depression, the tablets never took away my uneasiness with life, though).  Third time I came off them I had all sorts of weird aching joints, jolts of SI type thinking, intense guilt - so went back on them, still thinking it was my "condition".  Then the proverbial hit the fan when I went to the Dr telling her I was soooo tired all the time and she advised changing to another AD - was taken through 4 different ones in 6 months, felt like I'd been hit by a bus by the fourth one, CTd off it - I definitely knew that the symptoms I got that time were withdrawals, there absolutely could be no mistaking it (and I'd started searching online and found David Healy which made me realise it was protracted withdrawal - well damage, really).  Your situation is different, I know but many people report being better off them than on and there has been some research about this (thought I can't quote it to you right now because I'd have to search a whole heap to find it), Healy, has some stuff on it.  But maybe this video will be of use to you https://youtu.be/yG_tA52D-rE- Laura Delano about her removal of psych meds and how she feels better.  She has started an online initiative called Inner Compass which may be something else to help you.

 

Wish I'd found SA, Healy et al many years ago when I would have learned about withdrawal risks and maybe could have tapered safely off them.

 

I'm 61, too, and facing multi-drug withdrawal now and weak wobbly legs (that's another story).

 

Wishing you well with your taper, take it slow and steady.

 

Neroli.

 

PS originally from Nottingham.

 

 

15 hours ago, Justcope said:

Yeah I went by the dr recommendations 🙄 they thought I’d be fine to stop completely after 2 weeks! 

Ive been reading a book called “how to rewire your anxious brain”. It’s pretty fantastic and has calmed me down greatly in understanding what my drain is doing. For an anxious  person, I feel this should be our bible! 😬

Thank you, JC and Neroli. Without helpful replies and support and info, I would definitely have thought it is my original complaint and gone back on ad’s. To be honest,it is that long,since I went on to ad’s, that I can hardly remember what my original complaint/condition was. It’s 25 years ago ! I have watched the video that you recommended,neroli. Very helpful to know that what I am experiencing is normal.  I will definitely read the book JC. Has it really helped you that much ?? I am in a good place in the sense that I am like a sponge and want to absorb all available info. I think that I have to take advantage of this,while I feel this way,because (this may sound weird) it’s almost like it is the path I am meant to take. I know how quickly my moods and thought process can change ,though,so I want to grab this opportunity while I can.

Many thanks 

Steve

Quote

Dosulepin 75 mgs per night since 1993.           Dosulepin March 16  2018   75mgs and 50 mgs alternate nights.             Dosulepin. March 30. 2018.  50 mgs per night

Dosulepin. May 2. 2018. 50mgs and 25 mgs alternate nights

Dosulepin. May 27 2018. 50 mgs per night ( increased )

Dosulepin. July 11 2018. 45 mgs per night

Dosulepin. August 13 2018  40 mgs per night

Dosulepin  October 10 2018. 37.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin. October. 24 2018. 35 mgs per night

Dosulepin. December 5 2018. 32.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin.  January 2. 2018  30mgs per night   February 14 2018  29 mgs per night

Dosulepin February 27  28 mgs per night

 

 

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On 8/21/2018 at 1:31 AM, Steve61 said:

 

Thank you, JC and Neroli. Without helpful replies and support and info, I would definitely have thought it is my original complaint and gone back on ad’s. To be honest,it is that long,since I went on to ad’s, that I can hardly remember what my original complaint/condition was. It’s 25 years ago ! I have watched the video that you recommended,neroli. Very helpful to know that what I am experiencing is normal.  I will definitely read the book JC. Has it really helped you that much ?? I am in a good place in the sense that I am like a sponge and want to absorb all available info. I think that I have to take advantage of this,while I feel this way,because (this may sound weird) it’s almost like it is the path I am meant to take. I know how quickly my moods and thought process can change ,though,so I want to grab this opportunity while I can.

Many thanks 

Steve

The book has helped me distinguish between real life and what my brain is doing- and separating the two. It goes into detail about the different parts of the brain that cause anxiety- what it’s doing and why. I too have come to terms that I am an anxious person and I want to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can to get through this. It also goes into what we need to do to “rewire” the brain to help deal with anxiety. So far, it’s things we already know- just didn’t take seriously- meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises. I’m only half way through the book. 

What got me the most was that anxiety would come from nowhere- no thought or trigger I knew of- but the book details where that comes from! Now I realise I’m not going crazy! 😂 I think it’s a must read for those of us that are anxious. I know I am- and that’s not to do with the meds- that’s why I went on them. 

I dunno- maybe I’m in a window at the moment, but bows the time to arm myself with all this info. I dropped back down to 5mg. I felt so bad going back up so decided to stay at 5 and work on meditation, breathing and exercise. 

 

Hi! I’m JustCope. 

 Currently tapering off 20mg lexapro. I’m about 10 weeks in and at 5mg- kinda fast I realise- stupidly listened to a GP who spoke to me for 5 mins about stopping lexapro. 🤕

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23 hours ago, Justcope said:

The book has helped me distinguish between real life and what my brain is doing- and separating the two. It goes into detail about the different parts of the brain that cause anxiety- what it’s doing and why. I too have come to terms that I am an anxious person and I want to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can to get through this. It also goes into what we need to do to “rewire” the brain to help deal with anxiety. So far, it’s things we already know- just didn’t take seriously- meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises. I’m only half way through the book. 

What got me the most was that anxiety would come from nowhere- no thought or trigger I knew of- but the book details where that comes from! Now I realise I’m not going crazy! 😂 I think it’s a must read for those of us that are anxious. I know I am- and that’s not to do with the meds- that’s why I went on them. 

I dunno- maybe I’m in a window at the moment, but bows the time to arm myself with all this info. I dropped back down to 5mg. I felt so bad going back up so decided to stay at 5 and work on meditation, breathing and exercise. 

 

Thanks for that JC. My anxiety can come, seemingly,from nowhere. Yesterday, I had a pretty good day until I sat down last night to watch tv . Then the anxiety started. It always starts in my stomach, butterflies then churning , then my brain starts racing. At least ,now, I am trying to see it for what it is instead of reacting to it. I will definitely read the book. 

 

I think we are very similar , JC in regards to anxiety and why we went on meds in the first place. I think we are in a similar place in our recovery as well.  I feel now is the time to learn as much as I can about getting off all drugs and learning about coping strategies, vitamin supplements etc. Thanks for the encouragement and info.

 

Steve

 

Quote

Dosulepin 75 mgs per night since 1993.           Dosulepin March 16  2018   75mgs and 50 mgs alternate nights.             Dosulepin. March 30. 2018.  50 mgs per night

Dosulepin. May 2. 2018. 50mgs and 25 mgs alternate nights

Dosulepin. May 27 2018. 50 mgs per night ( increased )

Dosulepin. July 11 2018. 45 mgs per night

Dosulepin. August 13 2018  40 mgs per night

Dosulepin  October 10 2018. 37.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin. October. 24 2018. 35 mgs per night

Dosulepin. December 5 2018. 32.5 mgs per night

Dosulepin.  January 2. 2018  30mgs per night   February 14 2018  29 mgs per night

Dosulepin February 27  28 mgs per night

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

When it comes to waves and windows can anyone shed some light on what time frames seem to be milestones for people or time frames when windows become possibly more stable or frequent? And yes I'm aware everyone is different and that can play a determing factor.

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8 hours ago, Galmond said:

When it comes to waves and windows can anyone shed some light on what time frames seem to be milestones for people or time frames when windows become possibly more stable or frequent? And yes I'm aware everyone is different and that can play a determing factor.

I was on meds 3 years. 1 year was basically terror - then waves became shorter, a little lighter etc. Now I am 3 years off and have windows that can last around 5-7 months in which I feel normal, can train work..emotional balance "normal"..well what is normal..:D Normal for me ...I feel good. 

But waves can still catch me- specially in stressful times. Then I can see that it will definitely take a few more years until I am rid of all withdrawal induces stuff. 

2005-2006: Cipralex 5 mg

2009-2010: Cipralex 5 mg

2012-2015: Cipralex 5mg, 10mg 

tapered 10mg-7.5mg-5mg-2,5-0 (I always waited for a few weeks on the current dosage until I felt stable. Steps were too big I realized too late)

Completely drug free since August 2015

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I have a question that I was wondering if someone might be able to answer.

 

I have PSSD, and have been having mild windows (nothing like pre PSSD) and waves, for the last 3 years.

 

What I have noticed is that my waves seem to be getting weaker but also longer, and the same with my windows, i.e they are getting longer, but also weaker. This doesn't seem to fit with the pattern of the windows getting longer and stronger.

 

Is this something I should be worried about?

 

Sometimes I feel I am not making any progress at all, and that if I look back to a year ago, I only feel I have made very small improvement, if at all.

 

Should I be worried that this very slow improvement means I might never geal.?

Last took an SSRI January 2009.

Last took a benzodiazepine May 2015.

Free from all prescription medication since May 2015.

Everything has mostly healed apart from PSSD which is still very bad, and is my most distressing symptom. Also i have developed some allergy problems/ sensitivities to things in the environment which i believe was possibly caused by the prescription medications (SSRI's and benzos).

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Spruce30,

Hi, 

I am worried about the same thing. MY waves and windows used to be more defined. I am really discouraged about it. Will this be my life? It seems most people get more and more windows, but that hasn't been my case either. I have had a lot of stress lately, but still. I ct 2 years ago. I wish I could give you a more positive reply, but it sounds like we are sharing the same issue.

Nena

Oct 2016. 20 years fluoxetine (20 mg) and bupropion (400 mg). Ceased fluoxetine without taper and bupropion after 4 wk taper. Initial extreme fatigue resolved into moderate fatigue and depression with occasional brain zaps and tingling skin.
Oct 2017. Anhedonia, 90% of my day. Occasional anxiety. Milder brain zaps. In past two weeks, 3 window days and 11 wave days.
May 2019. Anhedonia, infrequent anxiety, mild brain zaps. Sleeping 6 hours nightly after lifetime of 8 hours. Typical daily pattern is wave until late afternoon, window until bedtime. Occasional full day windows.
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Yes, especially recently I feel my windows and waves aren't following the typical path of the windows slowly getting better and the waves getting shorter and less intense. 

 

Sometimes I actually feel my progress is going backwards or is so slow it is almost glacial, or I feel I might be imagining it.

 

I do feel I have made definite but mild improvements in the genital anaesthesia and erections, but that is about it.

 

The libido and anorgasmia has barely improved at all in the last 3 years, and sometimes I think it might actually have got a bit worse.

 

It just feels like I am not progressing at the moment

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat

Last took an SSRI January 2009.

Last took a benzodiazepine May 2015.

Free from all prescription medication since May 2015.

Everything has mostly healed apart from PSSD which is still very bad, and is my most distressing symptom. Also i have developed some allergy problems/ sensitivities to things in the environment which i believe was possibly caused by the prescription medications (SSRI's and benzos).

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  • 4 weeks later...

My grandmother fell on her face awhile back, she broke her cheek bone. Her face was numb for a month...she kept biting her lip trying to eat but when she started getting really painful shooting pains across her face, it slowly started to heal. It’s nearly all healed now and the shooting pains hurt less and happen less. This to me is a sign that our bodies do/can hurt while trying to heal. Love your body through it. 

 

Rachel - 1998-2012 Prozac 20mg

2012-2014 Prozac 40mg

Sept 17 Remeron 15mg, March ‘18 7.5mg

Jan 31 - Feb 13 1/4 - 1mg Ativan

Jan 31 - feb 5 - 2mg Prozac, 4mg feb 7

feb 10 - 10mg rem, Feb 27 - 7.5mg rem

Feb 27 - March 6th - 5mg Baclofen 

March 12th - Keppra 250mg

March 24 - 30mg phenobarbital 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’m new to SA,I’m still tapering but gonna be on a long hold after goin to fast.Im having some waves with windows that don’t feel great either just not as horrible as the deep waves.I went thru this 6 yrs ago when I was destabilized,it did get better.It just seams every time a wave hits deep that I will never get my doses down if it’s this bad all ready at lower doses.Are any of u having this pattern still tapering but on a hold till a more stable pattern returns?

1992-1995 Tofranil : was hospitalized 

1996 Zoloft, Larazepam- CT 1996

1996-  Effexor till now

2002- Remron till now

2008- Trazodone 

2010- Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010 hospitalized then CT Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010-  Lamictal till now

2011- tapered off Trazodone

2011- tapered Effexor from 150mg to 75mg / Tapered Remeron 30ng to 7.5mg / Tapered Lamictal 50mg to 37.5mg

1/27/2017 Tapered Effexor 75mg to 31.25mg

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

What a bummer. Ive been in a window for ages. I felt normal. Still some bumps and anxiety, but I wouldn’t classify it as a wave. There have been a few stressors lately and this morning- there it is. The anxiety. I let my meditation slip. Trying to stay positive and not focus on it. As is most of our mantras- it’ll pass. Better pick up the meditation and exercise. 

Hi! I’m JustCope. 

 Currently tapering off 20mg lexapro. I’m about 10 weeks in and at 5mg- kinda fast I realise- stupidly listened to a GP who spoke to me for 5 mins about stopping lexapro. 🤕

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I’m currently holding due to destabilized CNS of to fast taper of Effexor&Company.Did any of you have this happen then stabilize to continue taper?Its been 2 months with Brutal symtoms But I know it takes time @WiggleIt  @Justcope

1992-1995 Tofranil : was hospitalized 

1996 Zoloft, Larazepam- CT 1996

1996-  Effexor till now

2002- Remron till now

2008- Trazodone 

2010- Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010 hospitalized then CT Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010-  Lamictal till now

2011- tapered off Trazodone

2011- tapered Effexor from 150mg to 75mg / Tapered Remeron 30ng to 7.5mg / Tapered Lamictal 50mg to 37.5mg

1/27/2017 Tapered Effexor 75mg to 31.25mg

 

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8 hours ago, WiggleIt said:

I do suffer from a different kind of depression now because my physical health was permanently damaged by the meds, but I feel well-equipped to handle this depression.  Honestly, I'm pretty proud of how well I carry this weight.

 

I can't possibly be objective about this - how is that even possible? - but it seems to me  like this is the most I can hope for. I always had depression before meds and I hope to just be mostly functional. 

 

pretty much everything you write inspires me, Wiggle it. ❤️

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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4 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

I can't possibly be objective about this - how is that even possible? - but it seems to me  like this is the most I can hope for. I always had depression before meds and I hope to just be mostly functional. 

 

pretty much everything you write inspires me, Wiggle it. ❤️

 

You will DEFINITELY be functional again!  I am incredibly hopeful about that.  Heck, I'm functional—and I literally needed a wheelchair to leave my house four years ago! 

Like I said, my personality and moods feel very stable now and, after what I've survived, I feel pretty darned strong about handling anything else that life throws my way.  So I do feel that you are going to grow into a very manageable place, and you will likely surprise yourself.  You're already much better emotionally than where I was at when I started going through this.  You're quite in-touch with yourself emotionally, and that is a huge tool in your favor.

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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  • Moderator Emeritus
6 hours ago, Allreadygone said:

I’m currently holding due to destabilized CNS of to fast taper of Effexor&Company.Did any of you have this happen then stabilize to continue taper?Its been 2 months with Brutal symtoms But I know it takes time @WiggleIt  @Justcope


Unfortunately, I did not benefit from a taper.  My old doctors messed me up really badly and thrust me into a double cold-turkey.

My observation of other friends here on this site does favor holds, stabilizations, and tapers, though.  What I've seen others do—like what you're doing—is what I wish I could have done.  It was too late for me to reinstate by the time I found this site, so I had to just barrel through.

Anyway, yes, I've read others' threads here who have held, stabilized, then continued tapering.  

Actually, I think some of those approaches are described under Success Stories.

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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Doctors havnt a clue!What were your symtoms after your CT?  @WiggleIt I found the site a lil late as well,I had a brutal taper off of 3of the 6drugs tgey has me on 1CT.Took about 6-8 months to be able to be around humans again.Now I started tapering the other 3 in 2017 and went to fast and all hell has broken loose with my CNS.

1992-1995 Tofranil : was hospitalized 

1996 Zoloft, Larazepam- CT 1996

1996-  Effexor till now

2002- Remron till now

2008- Trazodone 

2010- Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010 hospitalized then CT Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010-  Lamictal till now

2011- tapered off Trazodone

2011- tapered Effexor from 150mg to 75mg / Tapered Remeron 30ng to 7.5mg / Tapered Lamictal 50mg to 37.5mg

1/27/2017 Tapered Effexor 75mg to 31.25mg

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

how long was your wave...

 

...at the roughly 6 month mark. The one I'm in started around the first of October.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added full topic title to post

September 2014 to July 2015 - 20 mg Lexapro, 30mg Mirtazipine

 

August 2015 to November 2016- 10mg Lexapro, 30 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2016 to Nov. 2017 - 10mg Lexapro, 3.75 mg Mirtazipine

 

Nov. 2017 to Mach 2018 - 5mg/2.5mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

 

Mach 2018 to Dec. 2018 - 0mg Lexapro, 0mg Mirtazipne

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On 11/17/2018 at 8:44 AM, WiggleIt said:


Improvement from the artificially induced, drug-induced depression/terror/fear took around a year.  Then maybe another year for my personality to really stabilize close to what it was before meds.  Now, I'm four years off and my personality and moods feel very stable.  

I do suffer from a different kind of depression now because my physical health was permanently damaged by the meds, but I feel well-equipped to handle this depression.  Honestly, I'm pretty proud of how well I carry this weight.  I did not suffer from depression before meds. 

What do you think was permanently damaged by the meds?

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I have a question about waves and how they operate. I've been completely off everything for over two years now and initially was really bad but could see a slow improvement. However, after about 18 months I went back into a deep wave which hasn't improved at all and I'm still in it 7 months later. I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking it will go on for ever. It's nearly as bad as when I first came off and doesn't seem to fit the pattern where things slowly improve. Anyone else had this?

Originally went on prozac 2008 for CFS - 20mg

Finished end 2012 - extreme anxiety and insomnia for a year, reinstated Jan 2014 - 40mg.

Jan 2015 tapered to 20mg - 5 months WD

Sept 2015 - took 3 tablets for vertigo - triggered 5 months WD

Switched to sertraline Dec 2015 - didn't work so went CT Jan 2016. 6 weeks of breathing and sleep problems so reinstated sertraline.

April 2016 CT - WD started.

April - August 2016 very low dose zopiclone - made WD worse so stopped end August 2017

Since Sept 2016 WD: drowsiness and fatigue; headaches (ended Christmas 2016); numb face (ended Christmas 2016); vivid dreams; anxiety and tearfulness; dizziness; nausea; loud tinnitus; irrational feelings of fear and dread; tingling up and down the backs of my legs; some insomnia but that's getting better. 

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On 12/8/2018 at 1:32 AM, Chochka said:

I have a question about waves and how they operate. I've been completely off everything for over two years now and initially was really bad but could see a slow improvement. However, after about 18 months I went back into a deep wave which hasn't improved at all and I'm still in it 7 months later. I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking it will go on for ever. It's nearly as bad as when I first came off and doesn't seem to fit the pattern where things slowly improve. Anyone else had this?

Chochka,

I am going through this. I have been off 2 plus years and feel wd pretty bad. It seems I felt better, in that I had more windows, months ago. I did have some setbacks, my dad died in March and my mom had successful cancer surgery in April. I also get migraines almost weekly for sometimes multiple days (these are a lifetime problem, but it really affects me).

I am really getting discouraged. My main symptom is anhedonia...no joy, no energy, no hope. Any type of stress seems to affect me. I have at times thought that I wish to be dead. I wonder if I will have to go back on antidepressants. I've tried counselors, but they don't believe in paws. I have a very supportive group of friends and family. I don't know what to do except push, push, push. Mornings are usually pretty bad, but evenings are sometimes better.

I would love to hear any encouragement. I'm scared that since this is not really improving much that this is it.

Sorry that I can't give you positive words, sounds like we are in the same space.😢

Oct 2016. 20 years fluoxetine (20 mg) and bupropion (400 mg). Ceased fluoxetine without taper and bupropion after 4 wk taper. Initial extreme fatigue resolved into moderate fatigue and depression with occasional brain zaps and tingling skin.
Oct 2017. Anhedonia, 90% of my day. Occasional anxiety. Milder brain zaps. In past two weeks, 3 window days and 11 wave days.
May 2019. Anhedonia, infrequent anxiety, mild brain zaps. Sleeping 6 hours nightly after lifetime of 8 hours. Typical daily pattern is wave until late afternoon, window until bedtime. Occasional full day windows.
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Hi Nena.

 

Firstly, thank you for replying, it's nice to touch base with someone who is going through a similar thing. I also suffer from a lack of motivation, not anhedonia as such but I can't be bothered to do stuff most of the time, even things I know I enjoy. A lot of my problems are physical - I feel hungover most of the time with aches and pains and really bad drowsiness and tinnitus. I also suffer badly with a lack of concentration and cognitive problems. Sometimes I can barely string a sentence together and I can't remember what I'm reading about. I am also prone to being in really irritable moods and tearfulness. Yesterday I was so angry all day I was in tears with frustration. I was like this for the first year I came off but then things improved and although I was up and down every day I always had a part of the day where I felt ok or a lot better. I thought I was heading for the end if it all. I even went on a research trip to Zimbabwe in April and was really positive about getting my life back finally. Then suddenly in May, in Zimbabwe, I had an enormous crash and I'm back nearly to how bad it was 2 years ago and no let up for months. I'm also scared that it's not improving much and that this is it too. I've been really struggling since I crashed.

 

Positive words wasn't what I was after so much as a connection with someone else going through the same thing.I know my post won't be very encouraging to you either but I was very happy that you replied. I did get something off one of the moderators saying that she had never known anyone not recover so that was encouraging. I'm sure this is another phase but it's gone on for so long now that I'm getting discouraged too. I'd really like to stay in touch, and also hear from others in the same situation. I'm sure we are not the only ones with this experience. 

 

Hope to speak again soon xxx

Originally went on prozac 2008 for CFS - 20mg

Finished end 2012 - extreme anxiety and insomnia for a year, reinstated Jan 2014 - 40mg.

Jan 2015 tapered to 20mg - 5 months WD

Sept 2015 - took 3 tablets for vertigo - triggered 5 months WD

Switched to sertraline Dec 2015 - didn't work so went CT Jan 2016. 6 weeks of breathing and sleep problems so reinstated sertraline.

April 2016 CT - WD started.

April - August 2016 very low dose zopiclone - made WD worse so stopped end August 2017

Since Sept 2016 WD: drowsiness and fatigue; headaches (ended Christmas 2016); numb face (ended Christmas 2016); vivid dreams; anxiety and tearfulness; dizziness; nausea; loud tinnitus; irrational feelings of fear and dread; tingling up and down the backs of my legs; some insomnia but that's getting better. 

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Hi Chochka. I have had a similar experience to you.

 

I have been off 3 1/2 years. I felt I was making good progress in late 2017/ early 2018, but since then my waves have got a bit less intense which is good, but they have also got a lot longer. It seems some aspects are getting slightly better, but other aspects are getting worse.

 

It is very frustrating and as Nena 59 said, sometimes I feel I am not making progress, and like this is as good as it gets.

 

It feels everytime I feel I make a step forward, I then go two steps backwards. 

 

I am currently in a wave that has gone on for about 50 days.

Last took an SSRI January 2009.

Last took a benzodiazepine May 2015.

Free from all prescription medication since May 2015.

Everything has mostly healed apart from PSSD which is still very bad, and is my most distressing symptom. Also i have developed some allergy problems/ sensitivities to things in the environment which i believe was possibly caused by the prescription medications (SSRI's and benzos).

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Hi,

I would really value hearing one of the moderator’s thoughts on these entries because I have had similar questions.

with many thanks,

help

May 12th 2016 took last bead of effexor. 8 month taper.  Bridge = prozac 5mg, 300mg Lithium

May 31st took last of prozac. Lithium 300 mg, estrogen patch 150, magnesium.

June 14th reinstated 1mg Prozac due to intolerable emotional distress. Cont with lithium 300mg, 150 magnesium, re added omega 3, cont estrogen patch. June 15-july 5th had marked improvement of emotional wd symptoms, likely due to the reinstatement. July 5th intense emotional symptoms returned.

July 15 decreased 50 mg of lithium to see if it improved low heart rate.

July 19th - increased prozac to 1.5mg.

July 22 marked improvement of emotional symptoms...again, likely due to increase of prozac. However sudden agitation developed so decreased back down to 1.25mg prozac. Realizing increasing dose is dangerous because of these adverse effects and also seeing that wave is inevitable regardless of reinstatement.

Continuing 250 lithium, 1.25mg prozac, estrogen.

Oct 31st - continued 250 lithium, 1 mg prozac, estrogen patch.

Jan 2018  - off of prozac (bridge) as of Dec 2017.  Starting to taper Lithium 250 mg.  Will do 10% per month. 

May 2018 - lithium 115mg.  Still having waves but they aren’t as bad.  However, I really struggle with emotional symptoms about 1 week after a cut. 

dec 2018- 80mg lithium.  Tapering 1 mg per week since last June.  Symptoms improving overall but still very sensitive to light, sound, social stimulation and I cry a lot.

March 2019 - 65 mg lithium.  Still tapering 1mg per week.  Jan 2021- down to 4 mg lithium (get it compounded). Reinstated 5 mg Prozac. Jan 2023- withdraw 5mg prozac over one month Feb 20th 2023- reinstated 1mg Prozac. Still taking 4 mg lithium. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 12/3/2018 at 8:44 AM, Galmond said:

What do you think was permanently damaged by the meds?

Dear Galmond,

I don't just "think" I was damaged.  I know I was damaged.  My altered physical mobility after the meds is quite apparent to everyone in my life.  I incurred a movement disorder (tardive dystonia) that has never fully healed.  It causes me to limp (because my right leg now permanently drags), walk with a cane, and if my muscles get overexerted, then the movement disorder will flare up into large tremors and visible jerking in my limbs.  As long as I don't strain myself, only the limp is noticeable to others.  Because my muscles no longer respond normally, I have pain all over my body all the time to some degree or another.  My physical fatigue is devastating and totally disruptive to living a normal life.  

I also now suffer from various neurological disturbances that I definitely did not have before the meds, particularly sensory hypersensitivity.  There has been improvement, but never a return to the fully physically healthy person I was before meds.  Meds also triggered some alopecia that has never fully recovered.  It's not severe, but it's enough to wound my pride, even though I can hide it.

And yet, I do cope with all of these things without medication.  I don't take anything for the physical symptoms and am proud of the fact that I survive not-too-disgracefully on a daily basis. :)  
 

*I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience
**Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not
-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014

-All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness.  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage.  All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine

-Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey)

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011
-Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less)

-Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week

-Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs 

-First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened

-Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD.  Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat
-Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged
-7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia

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14 hours ago, Spruce30 said:

Hi Chochka. I have had a similar experience to you.

 

I have been off 3 1/2 years. I felt I was making good progress in late 2017/ early 2018, but since then my waves have got a bit less intense which is good, but they have also got a lot longer. It seems some aspects are getting slightly better, but other aspects are getting worse.

 

It is very frustrating and as Nena 59 said, sometimes I feel I am not making progress, and like this is as good as it gets.

 

It feels everytime I feel I make a step forward, I then go two steps backwards. 

 

I am currently in a wave that has gone on for about 50 days.

Yes, I'm also in a long wave which shows no sign of going away. It's lasted 7 months now and I'm all over the place. Before that I felt like I was doing pretty well and I could see the end of it but now I can't. The waves have got a bit less intense but actually not that much. It's very frustrating. I think the worst aspect of all of this is the not knowing what is going on and when I can expect an end to it. 

 

It's nice to hook up with you though. Just knowing that someone else is also experiencing this gives me hope that this is more 'normal' and I'm not going to be the one who never recovers.

Originally went on prozac 2008 for CFS - 20mg

Finished end 2012 - extreme anxiety and insomnia for a year, reinstated Jan 2014 - 40mg.

Jan 2015 tapered to 20mg - 5 months WD

Sept 2015 - took 3 tablets for vertigo - triggered 5 months WD

Switched to sertraline Dec 2015 - didn't work so went CT Jan 2016. 6 weeks of breathing and sleep problems so reinstated sertraline.

April 2016 CT - WD started.

April - August 2016 very low dose zopiclone - made WD worse so stopped end August 2017

Since Sept 2016 WD: drowsiness and fatigue; headaches (ended Christmas 2016); numb face (ended Christmas 2016); vivid dreams; anxiety and tearfulness; dizziness; nausea; loud tinnitus; irrational feelings of fear and dread; tingling up and down the backs of my legs; some insomnia but that's getting better. 

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12 hours ago, WiggleIt said:

Dear Galmond,

I don't just "think" I was damaged.  I know I was damaged.  My altered physical mobility after the meds is quite apparent to everyone in my life.  I incurred a movement disorder (tardive dystonia) that has never fully healed.  It causes me to limp (because my right leg now permanently drags), walk with a cane, and if my muscles get overexerted, then the movement disorder will flare up into large tremors and visible jerking in my limbs.  As long as I don't strain myself, only the limp is noticeable to others.  Because my muscles no longer respond normally, I have pain all over my body all the time to some degree or another.  My physical fatigue is devastating and totally disruptive to living a normal life.  

I also now suffer from various neurological disturbances that I definitely did not have before the meds, particularly sensory hypersensitivity.  There has been improvement, but never a return to the fully physically healthy person I was before meds.  Meds also triggered some alopecia that has never fully recovered.  It's not severe, but it's enough to wound my pride, even though I can hide it.

And yet, I do cope with all of these things without medication.  I don't take anything for the physical symptoms and am proud of the fact that I survive not-too-disgracefully on a daily basis. :)  
 

Thank you for the reply. I asked the question because I also believe I have and suffer from irreparable damage. Pain is my biggest issue. I've had chronic body pain for 17 months now with no improvement. I also get the tremors in my muscles and suffer from no energy and fatigue. Just trying to see if anyone has had irreparable symptoms and admit it. Because I do think of possibly going back to meds. For me if it gives me better quality of life than this why not. But thanks for the detailed reply.

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20 hours ago, Help777 said:

Hi,

I would really value hearing one of the moderator’s thoughts on these entries because I have had similar questions.

with many thanks,

help

I would also!

Oct 2016. 20 years fluoxetine (20 mg) and bupropion (400 mg). Ceased fluoxetine without taper and bupropion after 4 wk taper. Initial extreme fatigue resolved into moderate fatigue and depression with occasional brain zaps and tingling skin.
Oct 2017. Anhedonia, 90% of my day. Occasional anxiety. Milder brain zaps. In past two weeks, 3 window days and 11 wave days.
May 2019. Anhedonia, infrequent anxiety, mild brain zaps. Sleeping 6 hours nightly after lifetime of 8 hours. Typical daily pattern is wave until late afternoon, window until bedtime. Occasional full day windows.
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Hello,

 

Just  wondering if anyone has the experience of dropping to fast and trying to stabilise after a small updose  and while doing so get huge waves and windows?

 

I just had an 8 day period where I thought I was done as felt basically back to withdrawal normal (about 90 percent) but two nights ago was sent back to a brutal wave. The symptoms of the wave are different than last two but constantly have a feeling of just being soooo unwell kinda like when you have the flu. Nothing you do can make it feel better. Today is one of the few days when I have felt like being in bed is the only option. Plus have a dry mouth, go warm then cold, neuro thoughts, and trouble sleeping. Thankfully the constant shaking, anxiety, nausea, burning, and back agitation have not come back.

 

Just looking for reassurance that what I’m going through is quite common when trying to stabilise or should it be more of a gradual improvement over time? It’s just over a month since I updosed.

 

Im assuming the good window I had is a good sign as well as the earlier symptoms not returning in this wave.

 

Hate to say it but this does make me scared about how long this will go on for.

 

 Thanks 

20mg Lexapro 2007

10mg Lexapro 2012

Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago  from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3.

Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction.

Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October.

Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018

Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov.

Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018

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Hi @Tom37 ,

I think any windows are a good sign that you've not swayed too far from the healing track. I think it is common after updosing for stabilization to take a while (days, weeks, or months) and for you to experience waves and windows randomly throughout but there should be a gradual trend of things getting better generally; otherwise it's not stabilization in my opinion.

 

Nothing you mentioned is very surprising so you may take that as a good sign; although I've only my own experience to go on. Is your wave still going? From your post I see it's been about 3 days. Is that longer than your usual waves? I would try to work out how long and intense this wave is compared to your previous ones and if it seems closer to what you experienced during your worst waves then another slight increase may be in order. If not then you may be best served by holding for longer.

 

What is hard to work out is why the symptoms of this wave are different to your last two. It's not surprising with these drugs but it makes it harder to discern the cause. Could it be linked to the diazepam rather than the Lexapro? That's my suspicion and it may be worth stopping the diazepam if you can. I am not sure how to taper from a tranquilizer but tapering may not be necessary as I see from your signature you've not used it much. Even a small cluster of uses could mess things up temporarily so if it is safe and okay for you to do so, I'd give up the tranquilizers. Magnesium is pretty calming if you have it and can tolerate it. 

 

I hope things are going better for you, your wave doesn't sound pleasant at all!

2012: 2 weeks of paroxetine, I cannot recall the dose. Strong side effects, stopped cold turkey, had intense, horrible withdrawal thereafter

2012 to 2016: Fluoxetine 40mg daily, sometimes 20mg daily, a couple of bad tapers under doctor's advisement, increasingly bad withdrawal symptoms with each major dose change

Oct 2016 to June 2017: 10-month reinstatement of 20mg fluoxetine daily to stabilize. A very difficult period but withdrawal gradually improved

July 2017: At 20mg (100%), started a linear tapering regimen using water titration (20mg fluoxetine into 300ml of water).

June 2019: Currently at 0.200mg (1.00%). I have many symptoms, most I attribute to fluoxetine, some to withdrawal, and the rest to hypothyroidism. Continuing to reduce anyway.

July 2019: Jumped from 0.066mg (0.33%) to 0.000mg (0.00%); I'm now free of the poison.

 

My introduction thread: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14226-kittygiggles-generic-prozac-fluoxetine-stabilization/

 

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Hey,

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

The first wave after increasing lasted 13 days and had a lot more symptoms than this current one so would say this one is ‘weaker’ so far. Had terrible shaking in my legs, nausea, physical anxiety, weird heartburn feeling, feeling like I had the flu yet this wave most of that hasn’t  returned apart from the terrible flu like feeling which has eased considerably today.

 

This one has been going three days but today has been better so hopefully it continues. Actually started almost the same as the first one in had a weird headache, couldn’t sleep and got a terrible dry mouth the first night.

 

Yes have only used the diazepam on two occasions for no longer than 3 nights in a row with a gap of 10 days in between. Dose was quite low and only taken once at night, never during the day but yes very conscious of taking it too often.

 

 

Thanks

 

20mg Lexapro 2007

10mg Lexapro 2012

Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago  from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3.

Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction.

Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October.

Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018

Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov.

Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/18/2018 at 7:29 AM, Allreadygone said:

I’m currently holding due to destabilized CNS of to fast taper of Effexor&Company.Did any of you have this happen then stabilize to continue taper?Its been 2 months with Brutal symtoms But I know it takes time @WiggleIt  @Justcope

I’m stuck on 5mg still. Pretty stable with some small waves probably due to the Christmas period, being very tired and run down. I feel good here so I’m too afraid to stop... 

Hi! I’m JustCope. 

 Currently tapering off 20mg lexapro. I’m about 10 weeks in and at 5mg- kinda fast I realise- stupidly listened to a GP who spoke to me for 5 mins about stopping lexapro. 🤕

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Thx for replying @JustcopeDid u ever become destabilized during ur taper,have to updose or reinstate?I completely fell off,mainly brutal mental symtoms after vertigo.I did have a 3week window of less pain but it popped up last week as u said on Xmas amd I was mentally non functional.Now I m hangin on for it to slow again.im on 3 meds still but if I get to a so called wd stable place I’m gonna hold for a long time I’m afraid as well. @Justcope

1992-1995 Tofranil : was hospitalized 

1996 Zoloft, Larazepam- CT 1996

1996-  Effexor till now

2002- Remron till now

2008- Trazodone 

2010- Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010 hospitalized then CT Zyprexa, Seroquil

2010-  Lamictal till now

2011- tapered off Trazodone

2011- tapered Effexor from 150mg to 75mg / Tapered Remeron 30ng to 7.5mg / Tapered Lamictal 50mg to 37.5mg

1/27/2017 Tapered Effexor 75mg to 31.25mg

 

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