Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization


Healing

Recommended Posts

Can you have windows and waves in sexual function? Because sometimes my orgasms are 100% but other times they are really weak or aren't there at all.

Drugs I have been on- Vyvanse 30mg, Adderal, citalopram 30mg, Zoloft 20mg, rexulti 10mg,Wellbutrin, Lexapro 20mg, buspar, Prozac 20mg, Trazodone 50mg, Ritalin 20mg.

some of them I can't remember doses for. 

 

was on on Zoloft, Ritalin, and adderal between the ages of 11-13. Then I was on Celexa and Vyvanse, between the ages of 13-21. Don't remember exact dates. 

 

Then when I went off the celexa and Vyvanse abruptly and went on all of the other medications. Between the ages of 21 and 22. 

 I saw psychiatrist for about 3 months and was put on most of them on and off. I think it was the other SSRI's besides celexa and Zoloft , buspar, Wellbutrin, and rexulti. 

 

 Then I went inpatient a few times after that where it was diagnosed as a recurrence of depression and went on and off medications like celexa, Trazodone, and most recently about 3-4 weeks ago EMSam. I have been completely off medication since than.

supplements- magnesium 250mg, and 2 omega 3's. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/15/2019 at 5:35 AM, thecowisback said:

hormones affect withdrawals terribly in my experience. i'm peri-menopausal and i'm sure it's making withdrawal a whole lot harder to deal with. 

i class a window as the days i get when i still have the withdrawal effects but they are greatly reduced. some people class a window as any cessation in symptoms, for example i find my anxiety drops a huge amount as the evening wears on, but i don't class that as a window, that's just normal for me as my cortisol levels drop throughout the day. i've had 3 good days now which i class as a window. the first two days were great - i still had symptoms but they were manageable and not taking over my whole day. the first two days i had greatly reduced anxiety and very few intrusive thoughts, and those i had i could dismiss. the 3rd day wasn't quite so good but better than normal - that was yesterday. i was starting to feel the anxiety rising and i was getting hooked by intrusive thoughts. today my anxiety and ocd are back to what they have been throughout withdrawal so i class that as being back into a wave. i have maybe one of two days a month that i class as windows. some months go by with none, sometimes if i'm lucky i get them more often in a month. 

i just wish i could learn how to handle the waves better after a window. the windows are so blissful i never want them to end, then when i wake the next day back to 'normal' i completely wig out and feel like i'm back at square one. 

That is a relief that you think symptoms might get worse just due to hormones because it is the infamous (among the men in my house) 20th of the month timeframe and The depression and anxiety are so profound I want to run to the nearest drug peddling md and get on Prozac again as soon as possible. I am guessing the hormones are revving up the horrible symptoms to a fever pitch. Maybe too much talk therapy lately, which is a 2 and a half hour drive each way has left me too exhausted to fight. I have been going twice a week here lately and am bone tired emotionally, physically, mentally.

My sleep gets a lot worse around the 20th of the month too, which also happened even when I was on the Prozac.

I am starting to wonder about the dreaded one year wave too. Could this be it?

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if i'd known i was heading into menopause i would never have stopped the pills. as it is i have no idea how much my anxiety is down to hormones or withdrawals, especially when i read of other womens experiences of terrible anxiety during menopause. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My anxiety was unberable during waves and I do not think I am heading into menopause yet.  Even if so, staying on this poison was not the option once I learned how dangerous they can be. I just wished I knew the importance of tappering before the drugs turned against my brain.

 

I had the same issues like you. Each window, and I had so many in these nearly 2 years off, I felt great but it was always shortly followed by horrible wave that felt like I was at the beginning. But with time it improved. It looks like waves are not so district anymore. It feels more like a really bad day or not so good week. I can not be sure and I fear that those waves of hell can return but when I compare myself to that person at the beginning of wd, I know there was a huge improvement. Time helps. And maybe acceptance...

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

Link to comment
Share on other sites

👍👍👍

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/21/2019 at 1:03 PM, thecowisback said:

if i'd known i was heading into menopause i would never have stopped the pills. as it is i have no idea how much my anxiety is down to hormones or withdrawals, especially when i read of other womens experiences of terrible anxiety during menopause. 

FYI I have been thru menopause and had horrible anxiety and thoughts of dread for the first year. Just like the withdrawal symptoms but not as intense probably because I was on Prozac. I was afraid every time I was in the car and someone else was driving, which is just like the first symptoms that I got when paws started. 

I just knew we were going to go over that bridge we crossed every time we crossed it, etc ....

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

that's really interesting tweet! i never even knew anxiety was a symptom of menopause - i stupidly thought it was just a load of hot flushes and achy joints!

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

lol. That's what I thought too. Learning to laugh about it helped, though.  The seven dwarves of menopause cracked me up particularly. Grumpy, sleepy, etc. One lady said she was all seven dwarves in one morning!

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

😂😂😂

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, I am Mole,

 

Would like to "talk" to you guys on this topic. Although last Citralopram dose was in Sept 1917 (I tapered very slowly) I have still a lot of anxiety (not in the menopause) but now getting for the first time windows.

Persisente: I feel like you. When I get windows - I am elated - real happy.  Then comes a wave (over-sensitive and afraid)  - I see a neighbour or just hear his door bang and my brain produces an intense feeling of anxiety - brain blip - out of the blue. And pain in the brain. I am afraid to go shopping etc. Then I think I am getting worse. Lo and behold the next day I have a window. 

But your comments encourage me. Thank you.

We should talk regularly here and encourage each other and say we are getting better. Nobody else does it - and the doctors dont even believe us.

 

Take care, Mole - FYI: over 60 and I love my life (song Robbie Williams)

November  2016 Panic Attacks, severe nausea

December  2016 short stay in hospital

                           Citalopram 20 mg 

January      2017 tapering Citalopram due to side effects: hallucinations, no sleep

                            Psychologist refuses to help me                        

January - 

August        2017 Using water method, reducing by approx. 10% 2-3 weeks 

                            At 1 mg Citalopram Withdrawal symptoms including dizzyness, neck pains, 

                            diarrohea. 

                            Supplements: Fish Oil Omega, Vitamins, Ashwagandha and now Magnesium

                             

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mole I may cry with joy from your post - your sumtlms are just like mine and I have never head anyone else use the term brain blip- that's what I always say - I get brain blips and anxiety from literally everything- noises, having to talk to the bathroom- everything - it's so disheartening- thank you for your post 

 

*Currently at 8.2-8.5 mg of my 10mg pill of Paxil (they actually weigh 12.5mg) 

january 2023 I began reducing my med again. I was a 9mg weight for years, I went to 8.9 in January, went to 8.6mg in February, and in March 2023 I went down to 8.5-8.2 mg ( my scale varies, so I stick within that .3 range because of that) 

*No other supplements or vitamins 

*Taper schedule in the pdf 

Blank.pdf

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-5vShtJtwAOGA30OxIP87steLmMdFzD29F0fzAPD564

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Vonne,

 

Yeh, I got a "funny day" today.  Wanted to finish off a portrait - cant be bothered. Art normally takes my mind off my "Charly." A "wave" day.

 

Raining today here in Germany where I live - so no gardening today. Tomorrow will be better, I know that. Will do my Dr Joe Dispenza meditation tonight and relax. 

 

Lets correspond with each other - and boost each other up. 

 

Vonne, tomorrow you will have a great day. Put on some of your favourite music, get used to the loudness and dance with your husband.

 

Talk to you tmw.

 

Mole

Edited by Mole25

November  2016 Panic Attacks, severe nausea

December  2016 short stay in hospital

                           Citalopram 20 mg 

January      2017 tapering Citalopram due to side effects: hallucinations, no sleep

                            Psychologist refuses to help me                        

January - 

August        2017 Using water method, reducing by approx. 10% 2-3 weeks 

                            At 1 mg Citalopram Withdrawal symptoms including dizzyness, neck pains, 

                            diarrohea. 

                            Supplements: Fish Oil Omega, Vitamins, Ashwagandha and now Magnesium

                             

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello my felliw sufferers,

 

unfortunatelly I am also not doing well last 3 days. Adhedonia and depression are back. Thank God, anxiety is not present. No insomnia either so I feel I can get through this easier this time.

 

The rollecoster never stops. Nearly 2 years of wawes and windows. I thought it would be over at this time. It is hard to believe this is wd and that one day it is going to be over. Not soon enough. Who knows how much of this can I take?

 

I will try to stay calm...

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 days in to this wave.  They seemed to change after I began HRT.  I had a 2 week long wave and then a 2 week long window and now back to a wave 9 days in.  I have never had a window that lasted that long.  I was super productive and I really enjoyed my life during that time.  I can't wait to get back into the next window.  Hopefully it will last atleast 2 weeks again.  That would be great.  

2002-2008 On and off Effexor XR 75mg 

2010 Effexor XR 75mg Trazadone 150mg

2012 Abilify 5mg and Buspar added increased Effexor XR 150mg quick taper after 6 months due to pregnancy.

2014 Reinstate Effexor XR 75mg increase to 150mg, 150mg Trazadone, Buspar, Abilify 5mg. Quick taper after about 1 year from Effexor, Abilify, and Buspar.

2018 Trazadone taper over 1 month

2018 Attempted Effexor reinstatement due to digestive distress 37.5 mg.  Failed 2xs after 4 days.  Gastro preacribed Elavil 2 weeks later.  Failed after 2 days.  3 days later full withdrawl.

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear you, persistente. Sorry you are suffering so. 

How long were the anhedonia and depression gone?

was it just a short window?

It has been one year for me and I have improved quite a bit, but I have never thought of giving up so much.

I am so tired of thinking ugly thoughts about my husband, who has been patient and kind through all this.

I am tired of feeling nothing for my God.

I am tired of the Ground Hog Day Movie mornings, that always begin the same with high anxiety and misery, followed by deep depression....

I think we just get so TIRED of the whole mess and impatient to have our life back.

I am so angry about this poisonous medicine that sometimes it is the only thing that helps me hang in there.

keep at it!

I want to see your name in the success stories one day😊

 

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you. We can not give up. This is the only thing we can do. Everything else could make it worse...We will make it. One day. Hang on...

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anyone else have daily waves after they make a drop? It’s been almost three weeks of waves every day at 3 o’clock and 10 pmish. I find myself anticipating the waves and fearing them most of the day. 

2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2, 11/2/20: 15.1, 11/7/20: 14.8, 3/6/2-: 14.5, 3/20/20: 14.3, 4/3/20: 13.9, 4/10/2021: 13.7. 4/21/21: 13.5, 5/5/2021: 13.1, 12.2 8/12/2021 (slowly microtapered to this number. I just can’t remember the exact dates), 11.8 9/6/2021, 11.6 9/13/21, 11.2 9/27/21, 11.1 9/30/21.....11/5/21 switched to 10 mg tablet. I am holding to stabilize for the foreseeable future. 3/25/22: 9.4, 5/6/22: 9.0, 5/30/22: 8.25, 6/7/22: 8.1, 7/722: 7.65, 8/16/22: 7.39, 9/22/22: 6.91, 10/1/22: 6.78

Medication signature.docx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On ‎6‎/‎1‎/‎2019 at 7:30 PM, Adili13 said:

Anyone else have daily waves after they make a drop? It’s been almost three weeks of waves every day at 3 o’clock and 10 pmish. I find myself anticipating the waves and fearing them most of the day. 

I do notice when I do it seems to be the same time each day.  its crazy. 

 9/2018- lexapro low dose few days.11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days, Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - tbuspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg. .  12/20-  taper finished

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg current - taken  10 pm

2/20/19- luvox (generic) 25 mg.  4/6/19  to 18.75 mg .held  . Started taper again  1/7/21- 15 mg, 2/7/21- 12.5 mg, 3/7/21 -10 mg, 4/1/21- 9 mg, 5/1/21- 8.1 mg, 5/27/21- updose to 10 mg,  6/21-  in patient updose to 50 mg,  6/25/21- reduce to 10 mg (current) .  9/5- split dose 5mg am/5 mg pm.  9/20- 4 mg am/5 mg pm . 

9/1/21-  took one dose of vistril 50 mg.   

9/1/21-accidental double dose of seroquel- 50 mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/4/2011 at 3:27 AM, Brandy said:

If you're feeling good, I think the term is "window."

 

It took me years to get the terms straight (waves and windows) and I still have to consciously think about them before I use them.

 

I think with me at least, it's because I have a mental picture of a wave as water rising joyously upward in the ocean, and I can't shake that image!!!

 

Drove me nuts for years...

 

just read this and realised why i keep getting the terms the wrong way round. i too envisage a wave as something joyous - i'm always happy when being carried along by a huge wave in the sea and so it's a term that evokes happiness for me 😉

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/28/2019 at 5:41 PM, Tweet said:

I hear you, persistente. Sorry you are suffering so. 

How long were the anhedonia and depression gone?

was it just a short window?

It has been one year for me and I have improved quite a bit, but I have never thought of giving up so much.

I am so tired of thinking ugly thoughts about my husband, who has been patient and kind through all this.

I am tired of feeling nothing for my God.

I am tired of the Ground Hog Day Movie mornings, that always begin the same with high anxiety and misery, followed by deep depression....

I think we just get so TIRED of the whole mess and impatient to have our life back.

I am so angry about this poisonous medicine that sometimes it is the only thing that helps me hang in there.

keep at it!

I want to see your name in the success stories one day😊

 

 

yep, groundhog day perfectly sums up how i feel. it's a hopeless feeling that all this is never going to end even though i have to keep telling myself it will eventually. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, thecowisback said:

 

just read this and realised why i keep getting the terms the wrong way round. i too envisage a wave as something joyous - i'm always happy when being carried along by a huge wave in the sea and so it's a term that evokes happiness for me 😉

Now see I look at it as a wave is something that can come on quick and take me under.  I kind of have a fear of water like that.    And a window is nice when opened on a nice day and letting the beautiful weather in.  

 9/2018- lexapro low dose few days.11/3/2018- zoloft 2 days

11/7/18  - 11/15/18 - Prozac 9 days, from 10 mg for week, to 20

11/16  inpatient put on Lexapro for a few days, Cymbalta, 2 days

11/24-12/8 - gabapentin 100 mg 3xs per day - a very fast taper

1/7 - tbuspar for  three days- blurry vision, jerky eye

1/17/19 - 2/15/19- mirtazapine 15 mg - started taper on 1/30 

2/20/19 gabapentin 600 mg. .  12/20-  taper finished

2/20/19 - seroquel 25 mg current - taken  10 pm

2/20/19- luvox (generic) 25 mg.  4/6/19  to 18.75 mg .held  . Started taper again  1/7/21- 15 mg, 2/7/21- 12.5 mg, 3/7/21 -10 mg, 4/1/21- 9 mg, 5/1/21- 8.1 mg, 5/27/21- updose to 10 mg,  6/21-  in patient updose to 50 mg,  6/25/21- reduce to 10 mg (current) .  9/5- split dose 5mg am/5 mg pm.  9/20- 4 mg am/5 mg pm . 

9/1/21-  took one dose of vistril 50 mg.   

9/1/21-accidental double dose of seroquel- 50 mg 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have found that maintaining a level blood sugar level is essential to keeping my moods stabilized during the day.  If I go too long without eating I will turn into a raging bear.  Does anyone else find that this helps them as well?  During waves it doesn't matter as much.  But definitely when I am in a window it is essential.

2002-2008 On and off Effexor XR 75mg 

2010 Effexor XR 75mg Trazadone 150mg

2012 Abilify 5mg and Buspar added increased Effexor XR 150mg quick taper after 6 months due to pregnancy.

2014 Reinstate Effexor XR 75mg increase to 150mg, 150mg Trazadone, Buspar, Abilify 5mg. Quick taper after about 1 year from Effexor, Abilify, and Buspar.

2018 Trazadone taper over 1 month

2018 Attempted Effexor reinstatement due to digestive distress 37.5 mg.  Failed 2xs after 4 days.  Gastro preacribed Elavil 2 weeks later.  Failed after 2 days.  3 days later full withdrawl.

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks ChessieCat.  It isn't just me then.  

2002-2008 On and off Effexor XR 75mg 

2010 Effexor XR 75mg Trazadone 150mg

2012 Abilify 5mg and Buspar added increased Effexor XR 150mg quick taper after 6 months due to pregnancy.

2014 Reinstate Effexor XR 75mg increase to 150mg, 150mg Trazadone, Buspar, Abilify 5mg. Quick taper after about 1 year from Effexor, Abilify, and Buspar.

2018 Trazadone taper over 1 month

2018 Attempted Effexor reinstatement due to digestive distress 37.5 mg.  Failed 2xs after 4 days.  Gastro preacribed Elavil 2 weeks later.  Failed after 2 days.  3 days later full withdrawl.

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just fyi I have the same thing.

Anxiety kicks up when I need to eat. 

Also,  when I  get too tired. 

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Hi all,

 

A lot of reading  I’ve done suggests the windows get longer and clearer the further out you get while the waves gets weaker and shorter. I’ve been getting longer and clearer windows but currently in the midst  of what feels like the biggest wave I’ve ever had. Throw in insomnia where I can’t sleep at all at its definitely the worst. The last wave about 4 weeks ago was also bad but not as bad as this. Anyone else noticed this trend of having bad waves the further along you go? Did it result in bigger improvements afterwards? Was it the beginning of a big turning point for you? Did the waves eventually start to lessen?

 

 

20mg Lexapro 2007

10mg Lexapro 2012

Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago  from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3.

Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction.

Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October.

Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018

Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov.

Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tom 37 i would like an answer to this myself Re the waves. The further out i get, the longer the waves seem to get, although they seem to be getting a  bit weaker as time goes on. It doesn't make much sense at all.

Last took an SSRI January 2009.

Last took a benzodiazepine May 2015.

Free from all prescription medication since May 2015.

Everything has mostly healed apart from PSSD which is still very bad, and is my most distressing symptom. Also i have developed some allergy problems/ sensitivities to things in the environment which i believe was possibly caused by the prescription medications (SSRI's and benzos).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tom and Spruce.  I am feeling very much normal, except for that constant nagging anxiety, during my windows. 

They are also lasting longer, even a week maybe 2. Then comes a wave and I am completely engulfed for days, usually 2 or 3, sometimes more, but VERY difficult to manage. 

Huge suffering. 

I have even started talking to dh about medications during one of these.

I get on the brink of suicidal again. 

Our torn and battered marriage is rocked AGAIN.

I really don’t think it is the actual wave, but more that, now that I am farther out I am bone tired physically and emotionally so I am perceiving the wave as worse.

Even during the wave I know in reality I feel way better than my best day back in September-February.

I guess what I am saying is, ARE the waves longer or deeper or is our poisoned brain playing tricks on us?(again)

Tom, the 10 month and one year megawaves are very much a reality, and the length and intensity are breathtaking. These can drag on for weeks. For me one was 4-5 weeks solid.

I also have heard I think of a 15 or 18 month wave here somewhere. 

Not good to expect it, but if you are blindsided by a very deep and long one it could be that.

I think of it as Satan not wanting to let go control of my mind and giving it one last desperate

try to unhinge me from stopping the meds. 

When I insist, also, on thinking how long can I take This, or about what it will be like if I never get better

this also weakens me, so for me this thought is discouraged when it comes along.

I also try not to think about how, 6 months ago I thought this would be over, yet here I am....

 

 

This is the best of my recollection.

20 mg Prozac 3-4 days per week from 1994 until May 2018.

Beginning May 15 I began to drop doses. 

I dropped 1 dose per week for the next 4 weeks.

It was not systematic at all. I don't have which days I took what.

so the week of May 13 I took 4 doses, which was pretty normal for me.

Then the week of May 20 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The week of May 27 I took 3 doses 20 mg.

The 1st week in June l took 2 doses 20 mg.

The week of June 10, 2018 was my last dose 20 mg.

I had been on Prozac only for over 20 years.  No other medications.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

is there ever a rapid pattern of windows and waves?  I seldom have windows but if I do it just lasts one day usually and then I am back to waves, though the depth of the trough or wave varies from day to day...  Admittedly did not read all eleven pages here, but I feel like I have super long waves and mini-windows...the windows are almost the exact opposite of how I usually feel.

 

if I knew some of these symptoms were not really getting worse, but just reappearing and going to go away again soon, it would be easier.

 

Grace

  • amitriptyline from 1980-2002,
  • intermittent  use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002
  • 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and  trileptal 300 mg
  • 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T )
  • tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day
  • 2015-2023 tapered trileptal to 98 mg.  had to completely stop tapering due to multiple chronic, serious health issues
  • currently 2024 still on 98 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron
  •   Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam.   The diazepam is way weaker and brought on severe acute w/d
  • Current dose of diazepam is 7.9 and valium is 6.6.  I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023.  I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing.  I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus

Both windows and waves can last for any amount of time.

 

are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

Edited by ChessieCat

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

i am 2.5 months out. i had windows and waves after 3 months in withdrawal. then the windows were becoming stronger. i was at 70 percent in my good windows days around 1.5 years in withdrawal. then after that suddently i went in a bad wave and this bad wave has continued for about 1 year now. some symptoms like fatigue are getting a lot worse ovr time

mild depression: took effaxor XR 75mg From nov 2016 - feb 2017 for 4 months

PSSD : Since then along with continuing withdrawal.

cognition problems, headache , fatigue, concentration problems, anhedonia, PSSD ( erection 2/10, Libido1/10, orgasm 4/10) 

no significant improvements in any withdrawal symptoms or any PSSD symptoms

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi all,

 

Anyone else notice their waves seem to come in cycles for certain period of time and then change?

 

Im in my second wave of this ‘cycle’ and it feels pretty much exactly the same as the first wave. Have had this happens quite a few times with the odd random different wave sometimes in between cycles. Feels like the body keeps trying to fix a certain thing but isn’t quite happy with the result so does it again and again until it is then moves on to the next bit. 

 

I know everyone is different but that’s how it seems to go for me.

 

 

20mg Lexapro 2007

10mg Lexapro 2012

Started tapering approx (October 2017) 12 months ago  from 10mg to 9mg then 8 then 7 then 6 then 5 then 4 then 3.

Held for approx 4 to 6 weeks min on each reduction.

Hit severe symptoms (started 7th Nov) after dropping to 3mg. Dropped to 3mg approx 22nd October.

Back to 4mg (7th November) and stabilising. Current symptoms started 23rd November 2018

Used diazepam (2018) 10mg 10th Nov, 5mg 11th Nov, 2.5mg 12 Nov, 2mg 13th Nov.

Used diazepam 10mg 24th Nov, 7.5 25th Nov and 5mg 26th November 2018

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator Emeritus
On 12/4/2015 at 2:41 AM, apace41 said:

 

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.

 

 

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Love that ChessieCat! thanks for sharing. It will be a good way to explain this horrific process to my loved ones.

 

Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made.

 

Oct 2016. 20 years fluoxetine (20 mg) and bupropion (400 mg). Ceased fluoxetine without taper and bupropion after 4 wk taper. Initial extreme fatigue resolved into moderate fatigue and depression with occasional brain zaps and tingling skin.
Oct 2017. Anhedonia, 90% of my day. Occasional anxiety. Milder brain zaps. In past two weeks, 3 window days and 11 wave days.
May 2019. Anhedonia, infrequent anxiety, mild brain zaps. Sleeping 6 hours nightly after lifetime of 8 hours. Typical daily pattern is wave until late afternoon, window until bedtime. Occasional full day windows.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been free of a major wave for the last month. Last year at this time it was the same. I hope October does nog bring the hell again. However, my waves are so mild when compared to those at the beginning of wd. The time really helps. Persistence and endurance result in complete healing. I hope.

3/2012 - sertralin 50 mg, no major side effects

1/2014 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks as doctor ordered)

7/2014 - back to sertalin 50 mg, no issues

4/2016 - ct sertralin 50 mg (tappered 3 weeks, my decision)

12/2016 - back to sertalin, major side effects from the first pill and the begginning of hell

2/2017 - mirtazepine 15 mg added for insomnia

6/2017 - stopped sertralin (2 months tapper)

9/2017 - stopped mirtazepine (3 weeks taper)

waves and windows

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

@persistentethat is so nice to read! Im 17 months into this hell. And although still very very tough, my waves arent like they once were. But of course im still scared of them going back to that. I still struggled and have very tough times but I am hoping as the months go on the waves become less. I do find it hard to be feeling better and then smacked back down. Im glad you are doing better. I hope to be there soon!

13 months on 25 mg of sertraline.

Fast taper in march 2018, reinstated 12.5mg

Cold turkey sertraline april 17,2018

Zyprexa 5mg april 17,2018

Zyprexa taper to lamictal May 4-13 (life threatening rash)

Back on zyprexa 5mg for 10days & tapered over 5 weeks.

21 months off sertraline 

19 months off zyprexa

22 months into withdrawl 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy