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The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

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JackieDecides
On 4/27/2019 at 1:03 PM, persistente said:

a doctor who is a friend but can not accept that this is wd said to me that it looks like i have become bipolar.  when in wave i start to think that she was right. but when in window (presently) i know she is not.

 

maybe you could give her a link to this forum? Doctors are so uninformed about WD! 

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Maryb

I gave a copy of this link as she thinks I’m even more nuts.  Doctors are so afraid of lawsuits they will say and deny until the end. Makes my stomach turn.

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persistente
1 hour ago, JackieDecides said:

 

maybe you could give her a link to this forum? Doctors are so uninformed about WD! 

 

i tried but when people do not want to find out the truth there is no link that can make them do so...we do not talk about this anymore..and we are not the friends we used to be...

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JackieDecides
2 hours ago, persistente said:

we do not talk about this anymore..and we are not the friends we used to be...

 

I'm sorry. 

I know my doctor believes if a drug doesn't work for anxiety and/or depression it's because you aren't on the right one or need a higher dose, etc. 

this makes me not mention anxiety to her because we can't talk about it. hardly ideal for your primary care doctor!

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Ipap0

Hi all. I've posted here once before but long story short I was on Zoloft for about 5 years starting at age 16, gradually upped dosage until I had the poop out effect and got off at 21. Reinstated the beginning of this year due to symtoms getting very bad out of nowhere, which after this site I realize was probably the weird waves that hits around 8-12 months out, was 8 for me.

 

Anyway, took Zoloft again on 50mg for 2 months, after feeling better and not suicidal again and fed up with side effects (emotional blunting, sexual dysfunction, etc) I quit again over the period of about two weeks. I didn't start having bad withdrawals until about two or so weeks out, which was severe anhedonia, depersonalizatuon/derealization. I went three weeks through no changes emotionally, nothing brought pleasure, couldn't cry, genital anesthesia, had a two day window, where i was maybe 50% again, then went back to a wave, and last week I had a window lasting around the whole week.

 

I'm currently in a wave again, I'm about one week out from my three month mark. 

 

 

I'm confused about Windows and what classifies as one, during all this I have never felt myself, but had periods of less symptoms. During my window I could get slightly embarrssed again, felt some periods of motivation, could cry (though not much, but had several periods of hot tears and then sometimes a bit more than that, but never full out crying) and didn't feel as disconnected from the world as usual, could put more thought into conversation, could think about relationships some, had partial return of genital feeling and orgasm intensity (maybe 60%) etc. Does that count as a window ? Do people going through Windows eventually hit one where they feel 100%, or even just 90% themself ? This wave has been weird, it started Sunday. It hasn't been as relentless up until today, it wasn't as severe, even during it I have periods it lessens by about maybe 10-20%, but not feeling as good as last week window.

 

Also, do you find periods cause a wave ? I noticed the wave hit and got worse when my period began. Lastly, why would the first time getting off Zoloft will the symptoms would resolve within 3 weeks, after being on a higher dosage longer, and now I have much more severe effects after a much shorter period and dosage. I was very reckless the first time on them, I was a teenage kid with tons of anxiety and no will to live really. Abused alcohol, skipped doses regularly, did psychedelics, etc. I guess I got lucky. I wish I had never reinstated but it is too late now. If anyone could answer any of these Id be super grateful, thank you. 

 

Also, thank you alto for this site. It's been helping immensely knowing I'm not alone.

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thecowisback

hormones affect withdrawals terribly in my experience. i'm peri-menopausal and i'm sure it's making withdrawal a whole lot harder to deal with. 

i class a window as the days i get when i still have the withdrawal effects but they are greatly reduced. some people class a window as any cessation in symptoms, for example i find my anxiety drops a huge amount as the evening wears on, but i don't class that as a window, that's just normal for me as my cortisol levels drop throughout the day. i've had 3 good days now which i class as a window. the first two days were great - i still had symptoms but they were manageable and not taking over my whole day. the first two days i had greatly reduced anxiety and very few intrusive thoughts, and those i had i could dismiss. the 3rd day wasn't quite so good but better than normal - that was yesterday. i was starting to feel the anxiety rising and i was getting hooked by intrusive thoughts. today my anxiety and ocd are back to what they have been throughout withdrawal so i class that as being back into a wave. i have maybe one of two days a month that i class as windows. some months go by with none, sometimes if i'm lucky i get them more often in a month. 

i just wish i could learn how to handle the waves better after a window. the windows are so blissful i never want them to end, then when i wake the next day back to 'normal' i completely wig out and feel like i'm back at square one. 

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Mikegs96

Can you have windows and waves in sexual function? Because sometimes my orgasms are 100% but other times they are really weak or aren't there at all.

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On 5/15/2019 at 5:35 AM, thecowisback said:

hormones affect withdrawals terribly in my experience. i'm peri-menopausal and i'm sure it's making withdrawal a whole lot harder to deal with. 

i class a window as the days i get when i still have the withdrawal effects but they are greatly reduced. some people class a window as any cessation in symptoms, for example i find my anxiety drops a huge amount as the evening wears on, but i don't class that as a window, that's just normal for me as my cortisol levels drop throughout the day. i've had 3 good days now which i class as a window. the first two days were great - i still had symptoms but they were manageable and not taking over my whole day. the first two days i had greatly reduced anxiety and very few intrusive thoughts, and those i had i could dismiss. the 3rd day wasn't quite so good but better than normal - that was yesterday. i was starting to feel the anxiety rising and i was getting hooked by intrusive thoughts. today my anxiety and ocd are back to what they have been throughout withdrawal so i class that as being back into a wave. i have maybe one of two days a month that i class as windows. some months go by with none, sometimes if i'm lucky i get them more often in a month. 

i just wish i could learn how to handle the waves better after a window. the windows are so blissful i never want them to end, then when i wake the next day back to 'normal' i completely wig out and feel like i'm back at square one. 

That is a relief that you think symptoms might get worse just due to hormones because it is the infamous (among the men in my house) 20th of the month timeframe and The depression and anxiety are so profound I want to run to the nearest drug peddling md and get on Prozac again as soon as possible. I am guessing the hormones are revving up the horrible symptoms to a fever pitch. Maybe too much talk therapy lately, which is a 2 and a half hour drive each way has left me too exhausted to fight. I have been going twice a week here lately and am bone tired emotionally, physically, mentally.

My sleep gets a lot worse around the 20th of the month too, which also happened even when I was on the Prozac.

I am starting to wonder about the dreaded one year wave too. Could this be it?

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thecowisback

if i'd known i was heading into menopause i would never have stopped the pills. as it is i have no idea how much my anxiety is down to hormones or withdrawals, especially when i read of other womens experiences of terrible anxiety during menopause. 

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persistente

My anxiety was unberable during waves and I do not think I am heading into menopause yet.  Even if so, staying on this poison was not the option once I learned how dangerous they can be. I just wished I knew the importance of tappering before the drugs turned against my brain.

 

I had the same issues like you. Each window, and I had so many in these nearly 2 years off, I felt great but it was always shortly followed by horrible wave that felt like I was at the beginning. But with time it improved. It looks like waves are not so district anymore. It feels more like a really bad day or not so good week. I can not be sure and I fear that those waves of hell can return but when I compare myself to that person at the beginning of wd, I know there was a huge improvement. Time helps. And maybe acceptance...

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On 5/21/2019 at 1:03 PM, thecowisback said:

if i'd known i was heading into menopause i would never have stopped the pills. as it is i have no idea how much my anxiety is down to hormones or withdrawals, especially when i read of other womens experiences of terrible anxiety during menopause. 

FYI I have been thru menopause and had horrible anxiety and thoughts of dread for the first year. Just like the withdrawal symptoms but not as intense probably because I was on Prozac. I was afraid every time I was in the car and someone else was driving, which is just like the first symptoms that I got when paws started. 

I just knew we were going to go over that bridge we crossed every time we crossed it, etc ....

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thecowisback

that's really interesting tweet! i never even knew anxiety was a symptom of menopause - i stupidly thought it was just a load of hot flushes and achy joints!

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lol. That's what I thought too. Learning to laugh about it helped, though.  The seven dwarves of menopause cracked me up particularly. Grumpy, sleepy, etc. One lady said she was all seven dwarves in one morning!

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thecowisback

😂😂😂

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