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The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

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Justcope
On 8/16/2018 at 7:12 PM, Steve61 said:

Yes, anxiety is my constant companion. Has been my entire life , it is just ramped up by the withdrawals. I’ve got to be realistic though. It is not just withdrawals,. My anxiety is worse because of tapering my ad’s but it has always been there. Time for me to try new things. Meditation is at the top of the list. If I am going to live drug free, then I have got to try and find a way to master this anxiety that dominates my life. When my anxiety is really bad it can manifest itself as a physical illness. Especially aching joints. 

 

I have just tapered another 5 mgs and my anxiety is up a little more. I went to the cinema yesterday and while watching the film, I could hear sounds from the screen next door and it was annoying me. Just like the neighbours annoy me at night with their tv !!!!!!   I’m determined,though,to see this through. This site helps a lot. If it wasn’t for this site, I would have given up. Knowing that what I am going through is ‘normal’ makes it bearable

 

Steve

Me too. Anxiety has always been there...  

anciety has been messing with my brain lately. I wakened and reinstated from 5mg lexapro to 10mg. The scary thing is today I feel just awful with the anxiety. Do now I’m scared that I can’t even settle it with meds. And then I feel like a failure for going back up a bit. Absolute mess right now. All I can keep saying is- it’ll pass... 

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Steve61
On 8/18/2018 at 10:27 AM, Justcope said:

Me too. Anxiety has always been there...  

anciety has been messing with my brain lately. I wakened and reinstated from 5mg lexapro to 10mg. The scary thing is today I feel just awful with the anxiety. Do now I’m scared that I can’t even settle it with meds. And then I feel like a failure for going back up a bit. Absolute mess right now. All I can keep saying is- it’ll pass... 

Yes, JC , this too shall pass. That is one big positive about suffering with  anxiety for so long  - I know that eventually it will subside. Everything passes, whether I feel good, bad or indifferent - it passes.  I know the answer, for me, is to control this anxiety instead of it controlling me. So I am persevering with meditation. I’m not very good at it but I am going to keep practicing. I really think that is where my answer, to the problem of anxiety, lies.

 

I am no expert on tapering but it does sound as if you went from 20 mgs to 5 mgs a bit quick so going back up to 10 might be a good idea. It is something that I had to do and I felt better after a few days.

 

Good luck

Steve

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Justcope
13 hours ago, Steve61 said:

Yes, JC , this too shall pass. That is one big positive about suffering with  anxiety for so long  - I know that eventually it will subside. Everything passes, whether I feel good, bad or indifferent - it passes.  I know the answer, for me, is to control this anxiety instead of it controlling me. So I am persevering with meditation. I’m not very good at it but I am going to keep practicing. I really think that is where my answer, to the problem of anxiety, lies.

 

I am no expert on tapering but it does sound as if you went from 20 mgs to 5 mgs a bit quick so going back up to 10 might be a good idea. It is something that I had to do and I felt better after a few days.

 

Good luck

Steve

Yeah I went by the dr recommendations 🙄 they thought I’d be fine to stop completely after 2 weeks! 

Ive been reading a book called “how to rewire your anxious brain”. It’s pretty fantastic and has calmed me down greatly in understanding what my drain is doing. For an anxious  person, I feel this should be our bible! 😬

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neroli
On 8/8/2018 at 9:48 PM, Steve61 said:

This is my dilemma, how do we know that it isn’t the original symptoms that we took the ad’s for in the first place ?

Steve61 - the first time I went off Citalopram I got really bloated with constipation, then on a couple of occasions a weird dizzy feeling.  Still thinking ADs were benign (duh!), I went back on them.  Second time I came off I went into anxiety and depression some months later and thought oh my, it's my "condition", so went back on them.  I now know that these were withdrawal symptoms - not my original condition (which was moderate depression, the tablets never took away my uneasiness with life, though).  Third time I came off them I had all sorts of weird aching joints, jolts of SI type thinking, intense guilt - so went back on them, still thinking it was my "condition".  Then the proverbial hit the fan when I went to the Dr telling her I was soooo tired all the time and she advised changing to another AD - was taken through 4 different ones in 6 months, felt like I'd been hit by a bus by the fourth one, CTd off it - I definitely knew that the symptoms I got that time were withdrawals, there absolutely could be no mistaking it (and I'd started searching online and found David Healy which made me realise it was protracted withdrawal - well damage, really).  Your situation is different, I know but many people report being better off them than on and there has been some research about this (thought I can't quote it to you right now because I'd have to search a whole heap to find it), Healy, has some stuff on it.  But maybe this video will be of use to you https://youtu.be/yG_tA52D-rE- Laura Delano about her removal of psych meds and how she feels better.  She has started an online initiative called Inner Compass which may be something else to help you.

 

Wish I'd found SA, Healy et al many years ago when I would have learned about withdrawal risks and maybe could have tapered safely off them.

 

I'm 61, too, and facing multi-drug withdrawal now and weak wobbly legs (that's another story).

 

Wishing you well with your taper, take it slow and steady.

 

Neroli.

 

PS originally from Nottingham.

 

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Steve61
7 hours ago, neroli said:

Steve61 - the first time I went off Citalopram I got really bloated with constipation, then on a couple of occasions a weird dizzy feeling.  Still thinking ADs were benign (duh!), I went back on them.  Second time I came off I went into anxiety and depression some months later and thought oh my, it's my "condition", so went back on them.  I now know that these were withdrawal symptoms - not my original condition (which was moderate depression, the tablets never took away my uneasiness with life, though).  Third time I came off them I had all sorts of weird aching joints, jolts of SI type thinking, intense guilt - so went back on them, still thinking it was my "condition".  Then the proverbial hit the fan when I went to the Dr telling her I was soooo tired all the time and she advised changing to another AD - was taken through 4 different ones in 6 months, felt like I'd been hit by a bus by the fourth one, CTd off it - I definitely knew that the symptoms I got that time were withdrawals, there absolutely could be no mistaking it (and I'd started searching online and found David Healy which made me realise it was protracted withdrawal - well damage, really).  Your situation is different, I know but many people report being better off them than on and there has been some research about this (thought I can't quote it to you right now because I'd have to search a whole heap to find it), Healy, has some stuff on it.  But maybe this video will be of use to you https://youtu.be/yG_tA52D-rE- Laura Delano about her removal of psych meds and how she feels better.  She has started an online initiative called Inner Compass which may be something else to help you.

 

Wish I'd found SA, Healy et al many years ago when I would have learned about withdrawal risks and maybe could have tapered safely off them.

 

I'm 61, too, and facing multi-drug withdrawal now and weak wobbly legs (that's another story).

 

Wishing you well with your taper, take it slow and steady.

 

Neroli.

 

PS originally from Nottingham.

 

 

15 hours ago, Justcope said:

Yeah I went by the dr recommendations 🙄 they thought I’d be fine to stop completely after 2 weeks! 

Ive been reading a book called “how to rewire your anxious brain”. It’s pretty fantastic and has calmed me down greatly in understanding what my drain is doing. For an anxious  person, I feel this should be our bible! 😬

Thank you, JC and Neroli. Without helpful replies and support and info, I would definitely have thought it is my original complaint and gone back on ad’s. To be honest,it is that long,since I went on to ad’s, that I can hardly remember what my original complaint/condition was. It’s 25 years ago ! I have watched the video that you recommended,neroli. Very helpful to know that what I am experiencing is normal.  I will definitely read the book JC. Has it really helped you that much ?? I am in a good place in the sense that I am like a sponge and want to absorb all available info. I think that I have to take advantage of this,while I feel this way,because (this may sound weird) it’s almost like it is the path I am meant to take. I know how quickly my moods and thought process can change ,though,so I want to grab this opportunity while I can.

Many thanks 

Steve

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Justcope
On 8/21/2018 at 1:31 AM, Steve61 said:

 

Thank you, JC and Neroli. Without helpful replies and support and info, I would definitely have thought it is my original complaint and gone back on ad’s. To be honest,it is that long,since I went on to ad’s, that I can hardly remember what my original complaint/condition was. It’s 25 years ago ! I have watched the video that you recommended,neroli. Very helpful to know that what I am experiencing is normal.  I will definitely read the book JC. Has it really helped you that much ?? I am in a good place in the sense that I am like a sponge and want to absorb all available info. I think that I have to take advantage of this,while I feel this way,because (this may sound weird) it’s almost like it is the path I am meant to take. I know how quickly my moods and thought process can change ,though,so I want to grab this opportunity while I can.

Many thanks 

Steve

The book has helped me distinguish between real life and what my brain is doing- and separating the two. It goes into detail about the different parts of the brain that cause anxiety- what it’s doing and why. I too have come to terms that I am an anxious person and I want to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can to get through this. It also goes into what we need to do to “rewire” the brain to help deal with anxiety. So far, it’s things we already know- just didn’t take seriously- meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises. I’m only half way through the book. 

What got me the most was that anxiety would come from nowhere- no thought or trigger I knew of- but the book details where that comes from! Now I realise I’m not going crazy! 😂 I think it’s a must read for those of us that are anxious. I know I am- and that’s not to do with the meds- that’s why I went on them. 

I dunno- maybe I’m in a window at the moment, but bows the time to arm myself with all this info. I dropped back down to 5mg. I felt so bad going back up so decided to stay at 5 and work on meditation, breathing and exercise. 

 

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Steve61
23 hours ago, Justcope said:

The book has helped me distinguish between real life and what my brain is doing- and separating the two. It goes into detail about the different parts of the brain that cause anxiety- what it’s doing and why. I too have come to terms that I am an anxious person and I want to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can to get through this. It also goes into what we need to do to “rewire” the brain to help deal with anxiety. So far, it’s things we already know- just didn’t take seriously- meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises. I’m only half way through the book. 

What got me the most was that anxiety would come from nowhere- no thought or trigger I knew of- but the book details where that comes from! Now I realise I’m not going crazy! 😂 I think it’s a must read for those of us that are anxious. I know I am- and that’s not to do with the meds- that’s why I went on them. 

I dunno- maybe I’m in a window at the moment, but bows the time to arm myself with all this info. I dropped back down to 5mg. I felt so bad going back up so decided to stay at 5 and work on meditation, breathing and exercise. 

 

Thanks for that JC. My anxiety can come, seemingly,from nowhere. Yesterday, I had a pretty good day until I sat down last night to watch tv . Then the anxiety started. It always starts in my stomach, butterflies then churning , then my brain starts racing. At least ,now, I am trying to see it for what it is instead of reacting to it. I will definitely read the book. 

 

I think we are very similar , JC in regards to anxiety and why we went on meds in the first place. I think we are in a similar place in our recovery as well.  I feel now is the time to learn as much as I can about getting off all drugs and learning about coping strategies, vitamin supplements etc. Thanks for the encouragement and info.

 

Steve

 

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Galmond

When it comes to waves and windows can anyone shed some light on what time frames seem to be milestones for people or time frames when windows become possibly more stable or frequent? And yes I'm aware everyone is different and that can play a determing factor.

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Pepita
8 hours ago, Galmond said:

When it comes to waves and windows can anyone shed some light on what time frames seem to be milestones for people or time frames when windows become possibly more stable or frequent? And yes I'm aware everyone is different and that can play a determing factor.

I was on meds 3 years. 1 year was basically terror - then waves became shorter, a little lighter etc. Now I am 3 years off and have windows that can last around 5-7 months in which I feel normal, can train work..emotional balance "normal"..well what is normal..:D Normal for me ...I feel good. 

But waves can still catch me- specially in stressful times. Then I can see that it will definitely take a few more years until I am rid of all withdrawal induces stuff. 

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Spruce30

I have a question that I was wondering if someone might be able to answer.

 

I have PSSD, and have been having mild windows (nothing like pre PSSD) and waves, for the last 3 years.

 

What I have noticed is that my waves seem to be getting weaker but also longer, and the same with my windows, i.e they are getting longer, but also weaker. This doesn't seem to fit with the pattern of the windows getting longer and stronger.

 

Is this something I should be worried about?

 

Sometimes I feel I am not making any progress at all, and that if I look back to a year ago, I only feel I have made very small improvement, if at all.

 

Should I be worried that this very slow improvement means I might never geal.?

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Nena59

Spruce30,

Hi, 

I am worried about the same thing. MY waves and windows used to be more defined. I am really discouraged about it. Will this be my life? It seems most people get more and more windows, but that hasn't been my case either. I have had a lot of stress lately, but still. I ct 2 years ago. I wish I could give you a more positive reply, but it sounds like we are sharing the same issue.

Nena

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Spruce30

Yes, especially recently I feel my windows and waves aren't following the typical path of the windows slowly getting better and the waves getting shorter and less intense. 

 

Sometimes I actually feel my progress is going backwards or is so slow it is almost glacial, or I feel I might be imagining it.

 

I do feel I have made definite but mild improvements in the genital anaesthesia and erections, but that is about it.

 

The libido and anorgasmia has barely improved at all in the last 3 years, and sometimes I think it might actually have got a bit worse.

 

It just feels like I am not progressing at the moment

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat

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Rachellynn

My grandmother fell on her face awhile back, she broke her cheek bone. Her face was numb for a month...she kept biting her lip trying to eat but when she started getting really painful shooting pains across her face, it slowly started to heal. It’s nearly all healed now and the shooting pains hurt less and happen less. This to me is a sign that our bodies do/can hurt while trying to heal. Love your body through it. 

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Allreadygone

I’m new to SA,I’m still tapering but gonna be on a long hold after goin to fast.Im having some waves with windows that don’t feel great either just not as horrible as the deep waves.I went thru this 6 yrs ago when I was destabilized,it did get better.It just seams every time a wave hits deep that I will never get my doses down if it’s this bad all ready at lower doses.Are any of u having this pattern still tapering but on a hold till a more stable pattern returns?

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Justcope

What a bummer. Ive been in a window for ages. I felt normal. Still some bumps and anxiety, but I wouldn’t classify it as a wave. There have been a few stressors lately and this morning- there it is. The anxiety. I let my meditation slip. Trying to stay positive and not focus on it. As is most of our mantras- it’ll pass. Better pick up the meditation and exercise. 

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Allreadygone

I’m currently holding due to destabilized CNS of to fast taper of Effexor&Company.Did any of you have this happen then stabilize to continue taper?Its been 2 months with Brutal symtoms But I know it takes time @WiggleIt  @Justcope

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JackieDecides
8 hours ago, WiggleIt said:

I do suffer from a different kind of depression now because my physical health was permanently damaged by the meds, but I feel well-equipped to handle this depression.  Honestly, I'm pretty proud of how well I carry this weight.

 

I can't possibly be objective about this - how is that even possible? - but it seems to me  like this is the most I can hope for. I always had depression before meds and I hope to just be mostly functional. 

 

pretty much everything you write inspires me, Wiggle it. ❤️

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WiggleIt
4 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

I can't possibly be objective about this - how is that even possible? - but it seems to me  like this is the most I can hope for. I always had depression before meds and I hope to just be mostly functional. 

 

pretty much everything you write inspires me, Wiggle it. ❤️

 

You will DEFINITELY be functional again!  I am incredibly hopeful about that.  Heck, I'm functional—and I literally needed a wheelchair to leave my house four years ago! 

Like I said, my personality and moods feel very stable now and, after what I've survived, I feel pretty darned strong about handling anything else that life throws my way.  So I do feel that you are going to grow into a very manageable place, and you will likely surprise yourself.  You're already much better emotionally than where I was at when I started going through this.  You're quite in-touch with yourself emotionally, and that is a huge tool in your favor.

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WiggleIt
6 hours ago, Allreadygone said:

I’m currently holding due to destabilized CNS of to fast taper of Effexor&Company.Did any of you have this happen then stabilize to continue taper?Its been 2 months with Brutal symtoms But I know it takes time @WiggleIt  @Justcope


Unfortunately, I did not benefit from a taper.  My old doctors messed me up really badly and thrust me into a double cold-turkey.

My observation of other friends here on this site does favor holds, stabilizations, and tapers, though.  What I've seen others do—like what you're doing—is what I wish I could have done.  It was too late for me to reinstate by the time I found this site, so I had to just barrel through.

Anyway, yes, I've read others' threads here who have held, stabilized, then continued tapering.  

Actually, I think some of those approaches are described under Success Stories.

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Allreadygone

Doctors havnt a clue!What were your symtoms after your CT?  @WiggleIt I found the site a lil late as well,I had a brutal taper off of 3of the 6drugs tgey has me on 1CT.Took about 6-8 months to be able to be around humans again.Now I started tapering the other 3 in 2017 and went to fast and all hell has broken loose with my CNS.

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MRothbard

how long was your wave...

 

...at the roughly 6 month mark. The one I'm in started around the first of October.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added full topic title to post

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Galmond
On 11/17/2018 at 8:44 AM, WiggleIt said:


Improvement from the artificially induced, drug-induced depression/terror/fear took around a year.  Then maybe another year for my personality to really stabilize close to what it was before meds.  Now, I'm four years off and my personality and moods feel very stable.  

I do suffer from a different kind of depression now because my physical health was permanently damaged by the meds, but I feel well-equipped to handle this depression.  Honestly, I'm pretty proud of how well I carry this weight.  I did not suffer from depression before meds. 

What do you think was permanently damaged by the meds?

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Chochka

I have a question about waves and how they operate. I've been completely off everything for over two years now and initially was really bad but could see a slow improvement. However, after about 18 months I went back into a deep wave which hasn't improved at all and I'm still in it 7 months later. I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking it will go on for ever. It's nearly as bad as when I first came off and doesn't seem to fit the pattern where things slowly improve. Anyone else had this?

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Nena59
On 12/8/2018 at 1:32 AM, Chochka said:

I have a question about waves and how they operate. I've been completely off everything for over two years now and initially was really bad but could see a slow improvement. However, after about 18 months I went back into a deep wave which hasn't improved at all and I'm still in it 7 months later. I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking it will go on for ever. It's nearly as bad as when I first came off and doesn't seem to fit the pattern where things slowly improve. Anyone else had this?

Chochka,

I am going through this. I have been off 2 plus years and feel wd pretty bad. It seems I felt better, in that I had more windows, months ago. I did have some setbacks, my dad died in March and my mom had successful cancer surgery in April. I also get migraines almost weekly for sometimes multiple days (these are a lifetime problem, but it really affects me).

I am really getting discouraged. My main symptom is anhedonia...no joy, no energy, no hope. Any type of stress seems to affect me. I have at times thought that I wish to be dead. I wonder if I will have to go back on antidepressants. I've tried counselors, but they don't believe in paws. I have a very supportive group of friends and family. I don't know what to do except push, push, push. Mornings are usually pretty bad, but evenings are sometimes better.

I would love to hear any encouragement. I'm scared that since this is not really improving much that this is it.

Sorry that I can't give you positive words, sounds like we are in the same space.😢

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Chochka

Hi Nena.

 

Firstly, thank you for replying, it's nice to touch base with someone who is going through a similar thing. I also suffer from a lack of motivation, not anhedonia as such but I can't be bothered to do stuff most of the time, even things I know I enjoy. A lot of my problems are physical - I feel hungover most of the time with aches and pains and really bad drowsiness and tinnitus. I also suffer badly with a lack of concentration and cognitive problems. Sometimes I can barely string a sentence together and I can't remember what I'm reading about. I am also prone to being in really irritable moods and tearfulness. Yesterday I was so angry all day I was in tears with frustration. I was like this for the first year I came off but then things improved and although I was up and down every day I always had a part of the day where I felt ok or a lot better. I thought I was heading for the end if it all. I even went on a research trip to Zimbabwe in April and was really positive about getting my life back finally. Then suddenly in May, in Zimbabwe, I had an enormous crash and I'm back nearly to how bad it was 2 years ago and no let up for months. I'm also scared that it's not improving much and that this is it too. I've been really struggling since I crashed.

 

Positive words wasn't what I was after so much as a connection with someone else going through the same thing.I know my post won't be very encouraging to you either but I was very happy that you replied. I did get something off one of the moderators saying that she had never known anyone not recover so that was encouraging. I'm sure this is another phase but it's gone on for so long now that I'm getting discouraged too. I'd really like to stay in touch, and also hear from others in the same situation. I'm sure we are not the only ones with this experience. 

 

Hope to speak again soon xxx

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Spruce30

Hi Chochka. I have had a similar experience to you.

 

I have been off 3 1/2 years. I felt I was making good progress in late 2017/ early 2018, but since then my waves have got a bit less intense which is good, but they have also got a lot longer. It seems some aspects are getting slightly better, but other aspects are getting worse.

 

It is very frustrating and as Nena 59 said, sometimes I feel I am not making progress, and like this is as good as it gets.

 

It feels everytime I feel I make a step forward, I then go two steps backwards. 

 

I am currently in a wave that has gone on for about 50 days.

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Help777

Hi,

I would really value hearing one of the moderator’s thoughts on these entries because I have had similar questions.

with many thanks,

help

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WiggleIt
On 12/3/2018 at 8:44 AM, Galmond said:

What do you think was permanently damaged by the meds?

Dear Galmond,

I don't just "think" I was damaged.  I know I was damaged.  My altered physical mobility after the meds is quite apparent to everyone in my life.  I incurred a movement disorder (tardive dystonia) that has never fully healed.  It causes me to limp (because my right leg now permanently drags), walk with a cane, and if my muscles get overexerted, then the movement disorder will flare up into large tremors and visible jerking in my limbs.  As long as I don't strain myself, only the limp is noticeable to others.  Because my muscles no longer respond normally, I have pain all over my body all the time to some degree or another.  My physical fatigue is devastating and totally disruptive to living a normal life.  

I also now suffer from various neurological disturbances that I definitely did not have before the meds, particularly sensory hypersensitivity.  There has been improvement, but never a return to the fully physically healthy person I was before meds.  Meds also triggered some alopecia that has never fully recovered.  It's not severe, but it's enough to wound my pride, even though I can hide it.

And yet, I do cope with all of these things without medication.  I don't take anything for the physical symptoms and am proud of the fact that I survive not-too-disgracefully on a daily basis. :)  
 

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Chochka
14 hours ago, Spruce30 said:

Hi Chochka. I have had a similar experience to you.

 

I have been off 3 1/2 years. I felt I was making good progress in late 2017/ early 2018, but since then my waves have got a bit less intense which is good, but they have also got a lot longer. It seems some aspects are getting slightly better, but other aspects are getting worse.

 

It is very frustrating and as Nena 59 said, sometimes I feel I am not making progress, and like this is as good as it gets.

 

It feels everytime I feel I make a step forward, I then go two steps backwards. 

 

I am currently in a wave that has gone on for about 50 days.

Yes, I'm also in a long wave which shows no sign of going away. It's lasted 7 months now and I'm all over the place. Before that I felt like I was doing pretty well and I could see the end of it but now I can't. The waves have got a bit less intense but actually not that much. It's very frustrating. I think the worst aspect of all of this is the not knowing what is going on and when I can expect an end to it. 

 

It's nice to hook up with you though. Just knowing that someone else is also experiencing this gives me hope that this is more 'normal' and I'm not going to be the one who never recovers.

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Galmond
12 hours ago, WiggleIt said:

Dear Galmond,

I don't just "think" I was damaged.  I know I was damaged.  My altered physical mobility after the meds is quite apparent to everyone in my life.  I incurred a movement disorder (tardive dystonia) that has never fully healed.  It causes me to limp (because my right leg now permanently drags), walk with a cane, and if my muscles get overexerted, then the movement disorder will flare up into large tremors and visible jerking in my limbs.  As long as I don't strain myself, only the limp is noticeable to others.  Because my muscles no longer respond normally, I have pain all over my body all the time to some degree or another.  My physical fatigue is devastating and totally disruptive to living a normal life.  

I also now suffer from various neurological disturbances that I definitely did not have before the meds, particularly sensory hypersensitivity.  There has been improvement, but never a return to the fully physically healthy person I was before meds.  Meds also triggered some alopecia that has never fully recovered.  It's not severe, but it's enough to wound my pride, even though I can hide it.

And yet, I do cope with all of these things without medication.  I don't take anything for the physical symptoms and am proud of the fact that I survive not-too-disgracefully on a daily basis. :)  
 

Thank you for the reply. I asked the question because I also believe I have and suffer from irreparable damage. Pain is my biggest issue. I've had chronic body pain for 17 months now with no improvement. I also get the tremors in my muscles and suffer from no energy and fatigue. Just trying to see if anyone has had irreparable symptoms and admit it. Because I do think of possibly going back to meds. For me if it gives me better quality of life than this why not. But thanks for the detailed reply.

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Nena59
20 hours ago, Help777 said:

Hi,

I would really value hearing one of the moderator’s thoughts on these entries because I have had similar questions.

with many thanks,

help

I would also!

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Tom37

Hello,

 

Just  wondering if anyone has the experience of dropping to fast and trying to stabilise after a small updose  and while doing so get huge waves and windows?

 

I just had an 8 day period where I thought I was done as felt basically back to withdrawal normal (about 90 percent) but two nights ago was sent back to a brutal wave. The symptoms of the wave are different than last two but constantly have a feeling of just being soooo unwell kinda like when you have the flu. Nothing you do can make it feel better. Today is one of the few days when I have felt like being in bed is the only option. Plus have a dry mouth, go warm then cold, neuro thoughts, and trouble sleeping. Thankfully the constant shaking, anxiety, nausea, burning, and back agitation have not come back.

 

Just looking for reassurance that what I’m going through is quite common when trying to stabilise or should it be more of a gradual improvement over time? It’s just over a month since I updosed.

 

Im assuming the good window I had is a good sign as well as the earlier symptoms not returning in this wave.

 

Hate to say it but this does make me scared about how long this will go on for.

 

 Thanks 

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Kittygiggles

Hi @Tom37 ,

I think any windows are a good sign that you've not swayed too far from the healing track. I think it is common after updosing for stabilization to take a while (days, weeks, or months) and for you to experience waves and windows randomly throughout but there should be a gradual trend of things getting better generally; otherwise it's not stabilization in my opinion.

 

Nothing you mentioned is very surprising so you may take that as a good sign; although I've only my own experience to go on. Is your wave still going? From your post I see it's been about 3 days. Is that longer than your usual waves? I would try to work out how long and intense this wave is compared to your previous ones and if it seems closer to what you experienced during your worst waves then another slight increase may be in order. If not then you may be best served by holding for longer.

 

What is hard to work out is why the symptoms of this wave are different to your last two. It's not surprising with these drugs but it makes it harder to discern the cause. Could it be linked to the diazepam rather than the Lexapro? That's my suspicion and it may be worth stopping the diazepam if you can. I am not sure how to taper from a tranquilizer but tapering may not be necessary as I see from your signature you've not used it much. Even a small cluster of uses could mess things up temporarily so if it is safe and okay for you to do so, I'd give up the tranquilizers. Magnesium is pretty calming if you have it and can tolerate it. 

 

I hope things are going better for you, your wave doesn't sound pleasant at all!

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Tom37

Hey,

 

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

The first wave after increasing lasted 13 days and had a lot more symptoms than this current one so would say this one is ‘weaker’ so far. Had terrible shaking in my legs, nausea, physical anxiety, weird heartburn feeling, feeling like I had the flu yet this wave most of that hasn’t  returned apart from the terrible flu like feeling which has eased considerably today.

 

This one has been going three days but today has been better so hopefully it continues. Actually started almost the same as the first one in had a weird headache, couldn’t sleep and got a terrible dry mouth the first night.

 

Yes have only used the diazepam on two occasions for no longer than 3 nights in a row with a gap of 10 days in between. Dose was quite low and only taken once at night, never during the day but yes very conscious of taking it too often.

 

 

Thanks

 

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Justcope
On 11/18/2018 at 7:29 AM, Allreadygone said:

I’m currently holding due to destabilized CNS of to fast taper of Effexor&Company.Did any of you have this happen then stabilize to continue taper?Its been 2 months with Brutal symtoms But I know it takes time @WiggleIt  @Justcope

I’m stuck on 5mg still. Pretty stable with some small waves probably due to the Christmas period, being very tired and run down. I feel good here so I’m too afraid to stop... 

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Allreadygone

Thx for replying @JustcopeDid u ever become destabilized during ur taper,have to updose or reinstate?I completely fell off,mainly brutal mental symtoms after vertigo.I did have a 3week window of less pain but it popped up last week as u said on Xmas amd I was mentally non functional.Now I m hangin on for it to slow again.im on 3 meds still but if I get to a so called wd stable place I’m gonna hold for a long time I’m afraid as well. @Justcope

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