Flowers Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I think it could be the exercise too. I totally overdid things in April this year doing some very heavy gardening using a pick axe and ended up feeling just like you. I'm afraid it did last a few weeks but with rest I started to feel better and it passed. Hope this soon passes for you too. xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
AliG Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Have you taken anything else, Just? Antibiotics, supplements etc? If not , then certainly the exercise could do it. Take it easy, for a while, and see if things settle down a bit. Maybe try a less intense exercise, like Yoga. I hope things improve for you soon. Love, Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Muddles Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I can't excersise anymore Just - if I do any, it's usually light, gentle walking. You need to be easy on yourself...this will pass. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
shelby Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Just, The same thing happened to me and I'm also on 50mg of zoloft. Two days ago I was doing great, better than I have in a looooong time and then yesterday BAM! Little to no energy, instrusive thoughts, thick brain fog and muscle pains. I think I over did it also. I did some work on the computer, drove for 2 hours, and then mowed the yard again. I think we have to be very gentle to ourselves right now. I keep getting reminded that the RI was the right choice as it is helping my brain "heal" from the trauma of WD. This is my second RI after my second WD. I just pray we don't have to increase the dosage. We have to stick with it, it will get better. 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
Pugknows Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 ((((Just)))) Bless your heart, sweetie. I hate to see you suffer like this. You're going to be fine soon. You got a little revved after the exercise, but you'll settle down. Give your brain a chance to stabilize on the Zoloft. It will happen and you'll start feeling peaceful and happy. Good thoughts from me to you. Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Thank all of you beautiful people for the reassurance. Unfortunately I'm still really struggling. Extreme morning anxiety again, disorientation, terrible memory, no love or compassion for anyone, harm OCD a bit and the feelings of doom/despair/evil are back intermittently throughout the day. Scared s***less and feel like I'm going insane. When will this hell end. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 I've been on the drug now for 2 months and 6 days. I should be way more stable than this!!!! Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Hi Just I don't agree. I think you are expecting significant stabilization sooner than possible. I was off the AD for 2 weeks and off the AP for 1 week only and I'm still not stable at all after 3 months. You were off the drugs for a long long time, so your brain has a hard time adapting to all of the changes. Give it more time and don't despair. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 You're an angel Blue. So you CT both and then RI and are still having windows and waves? I have been on the 50mg Zoloft now for over a month and was doing fairly well but am back in hell these last few days. The evil darkness feeling is so deep & consuming I'm scared I'm getting possessed. I'm on a drug, how can I possibly feel as bad as I did in the midst of a CT WD?!? I can't do this. I can't. It is absolutely unbearable. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 I'm in poop out I know it!!!! Jesus please give me strength please please I can't take anymore, I've lost everything Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
AliG Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I'm so confused , Just,. Are you tapering ?? Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 No Ali, I'm still trying to stabilize. Was in WD for 8 months after a CT then restarted new drug - Zoloft which I've been on for just over 2 months now. I'm in despair and terror again and can't understand how I can feel this bad when on a drug. Scared it's not working and I'll have to WD off of it too and add to the agony I'm already in. I will. Not. Make. It. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
direstraits Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I'm so sorry the RI is not working ,just.you must be terrified. I hope someone here can help you with this predicament. I've thought about trying something again,too but so afraid what would happen now. praying you will get some relief . XO went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 I am DS, I am so terrified I can't get out of bed and am crying hysterically. I don't feel like myself, the darkness and doom is so intense I feel evil!! Please somebody please help me Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Just I'm not an expert but I don't think it is poop out..I think it's still windows and waves xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I think it's windows and waves too. Try not to be scared honey, the terror and doom are chemically induced. You are NOT in any real danger. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 This will pass..seems like an eternity..but it will. Hold On. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 I love you guys. Thank you, that helped me a lot. Feeling 60% better now (after taking a rescue 0.25 clonazepam) Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 7, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 7, 2015 Do you think you might be making your symptoms worse by working up your anxiety over them? One thing this condition teaches us is that we all must be Zen Buddhists. Please learn how to meditate to calm yourself when you have a wave. I cannot fix you when this happens. You need to manage your symptoms yourself. Please see the Symptoms and Self-Care forum for suggestions about how to cope with symptoms.I do not know what else I can suggest. It's possible holding longer with this reinstatement might work. Sometimes it can take quite a few months. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 What If it doesn't alto? What do I do if I stay in hell like this? Up the dose? Start a new drug while tapering? Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 How could anyone cope with this impending doom terror 24/7. It's inhuman. It must be how someone feels right before a semi crosses into their lane and kills them. I cannot escape it. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 ((((JWTBF)))) You're going to be okay, hon. You tried a new drug and maybe it's not the right drug for you. What does your doctor say? Maybe try Prozac again? Or Cipralex? Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 You were stable on both of these drugs previously, right? January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 8, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 8, 2015 What If it doesn't alto? What do I do if I stay in hell like this? Up the dose? Start a new drug while tapering? Your guess is as good as mine. I don't think I can add any more. Stop making yourself worse with worrying about something that may never happen. Strongly suggest you either take up meditation or Cognitive Behavior Therapy. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 8, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 8, 2015 I feel I must add -- I just skimmed all 11 pages of your topic, which I never want to do again, and I am struck by the many creative ways you have of making yourself sick with anxiety. This has happened so much that I cannot distinguish what might be withdrawal syndrome and what might be just you being you. Given you had this habit of thinking before you started taking psychiatric drugs, what do you expect me or a online support group to do to change it? You truly need to learn to deal with this within your own mind. If you want to find a drug to do this for you, please talk to a doctor. Publishing this repetition here does not benefit you or this site. Please exchange e-mail addresses with your supporters here and write them off-site if you want to discuss whatever worries you have. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks Pug, yes I was stable on both of those drugs on the past although Cipralex seemed to help a lot more than the Prozac and Prozac gave me a hell of a time getting on it. Might try upping the dose on Zoloft first before I give up - 50mg is quite low apparently and I have had quite a few decent days while on it so I don't want to give up yet. Alto - Thanks for the replies. I have an anxiety disorder and OCD, hence why I was on the meds in the first place. Not sure why a lot of people on this site think these disorders magically go away when one decides that drugs are poison and to stop taking them. Who knows how much of my issues were actual WD syndrome and which are my original affliction. Does it really matter? The majority of people on this site were prescribed these meds for some form of "mental illness" so as the creator of this site and someone giving advice & guidance I would think you could understand this is par for the course and needs to be taken into account. I appreciate everyone who has supported me and I won't be posting again. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Hi Just, please don't stop posting. You need the support this site offers. I will send you a PM. I also have anxiety, depression and OCD. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 What was the hell of the time you had going onto prozac, if I can ask? Severe anxiety and I'm hoping it's just prozac start up rather than zoloft WD.. Take care just.. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 8, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 8, 2015 Thanks Pug, yes I was stable on both of those drugs on the past although Cipralex seemed to help a lot more than the Prozac and Prozac gave me a hell of a time getting on it. Might try upping the dose on Zoloft first before I give up - 50mg is quite low apparently and I have had quite a few decent days while on it so I don't want to give up yet. Alto - Thanks for the replies. I have an anxiety disorder and OCD, hence why I was on the meds in the first place. Not sure why a lot of people on this site think these disorders magically go away when one decides that drugs are poison and to stop taking them. Who knows how much of my issues were actual WD syndrome and which are my original affliction. Does it really matter? The majority of people on this site were prescribed these meds for some form of "mental illness" so as the creator of this site and someone giving advice & guidance I would think you could understand this is par for the course and needs to be taken into account. I appreciate everyone who has supported me and I won't be posting again. Nobody on this site thinks any disorders magically go away by going off psychiatric drugs. Over and over, I have reminded people if they think the drugs are controlling certain symptoms, they will need to take responsibility for learning to manage those symptoms without drugs. Taking responsibility for your own health and behavior is key to going off psychiatric drugs. If you cannot do that, and the symptoms are hampering your life, perhaps going off drugs is not for you. In the 11 pages of your topic, I see a lot of repetition and no progress in terms of taking responsibility for your symptoms. It's very painful for me to see people engaging in any self-harming behavior. However, as we have seen, no amount of reassurance from others has an effect on your health anxiety. You must do the work yourself. In the meantime, your continuing to dwell on your preoccupations and get support for them is a misuse of this site, the attention of the moderators, and compassion of the members. I cannot permit this site to become a place to reinforce self-harming behavior. It's bad for you, it's bad for me, and it's bad for the community. Those members who disagree with my position may support you via e-mail or other private means, even your own private Google group. SurvivingAntidepressants.org is not a general mental health support site. You may wish to register at Depressionforums.org if you wish to perseverate online. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
shelby Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Alto, First I want to say many thanks for creating this site. It helps when so many people are looking for answers. However, I know what Just is talking about. I have dealt with anxiety my whole life also and these drugs seem to make things worse. I understand taking responsibility for our health, but we trusted the doctors and it only made things worse. Most of are lost and do not know what to do. Our lives have forever been altered and we are desperate to have some normalcy again. We would take more responsibility if we just knew what to do. We are stuck between trusting or not trusting the doctors, “veterans” like yourself, and family and friends who do not understand. We come to sites like yours because we are lost and confused by it all and the worst part is the organ use to take responsibility (the brain) has been compromised. I have been fighting this for 3 years now and one thing I can’t understand is how we are supposed to use CBT when our cognition is not working properly. People like Just and I are not asking people on SA to take responsibility for our condition, we just need help and answers because the medical community has failed us. We do not know what to do anymore and we are very, very scared. Trust me, if there was a “12 step program” I would be doing it, every day! Again, thank you so much for what you have done to raise awareness and provide what support and compassion you can to all those of us that are suffering. Just, I hope you come back and post. We love you and want you to get better! 40 year old male - First panic attack in May 2012 May 2012 Atenolol (beta blocker)25mg, Ativan 2mg August 2012 Rapid taper ativan, started zoloft 25mg Dec 2012... rapid taper zoloft, January 2013 Xanax 1mg for 1 month February 2013 Klonopin 1mg April 2013 to May 2013 Rapid Taper Klonopin to 0.5mg June 10th 2013 jumped from 0.5 Kpin and Atenolol 25mg July 2013 two days of Ativan 1mg b/c of hospital visit September 2013 started Effexor 75mg (this was a mistake i think) July 2014 to October 2014 tapered off Effexor... July 2015 - Reinstated zoloft 50mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted August 20, 2015 Administrator Share Posted August 20, 2015 I understand, Shelby. Worry is one thing, those who experience withdrawal are all worried, and it can take some support to overcome that worry. Most people who come to this site anxious learn about their symptoms and adopt coping techniques such as meditation. They may still worry but do not repeat it over and over. However, this site does not exist for people to publish their perseverating and get support for a behavior that is resistant to acquiring new coping skills and beyond coping with withdrawal symptoms. It's not good for them and it's not good for the site. The answer can only come from within. We cannot instill that in anyone. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
KT38 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Justwanttonefree, I cannot believe everything you are describing is what happened to me. I am 8 months of a cold turkey from only 2 months of use and very bad off. The SSRIs sent me in a crazy horrible state so they took me off cold turkey. How are you doing now on the Zoloft? With the SSRIs I always felt like this rush through my body 2 hrs after taking them that felt like my nervous system was being destroyed. Do you have that? Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
justwanttobefree Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 Well here we are. 2016. Just thought I would update here as I have received a few messages asking how I am doing. I am 75% better. The residual symptoms I have left over are brain fog, terrible short term memory/focus, and some negative thinking. I am severely traumatized from what I went through on this website and if I could change a single thing about my 26 years on this earth it would be that I had never found SA. I lost my marriage in all of this (have been legally separated since the end of August) and now live with my dad back in my hometown in BC. I take 50mg Zoloft a night, 0.5 clonazepam as needed, & l will never go off these drugs again as I need them. My only advice to everyone on here is to GET OFF THIS FORUM. I didn't see any improvement till i threw myself back out into the world and forced myself to live. It is toxic and detrimental here and from what I have read recently, only getting worse. Good luck you warriors, much of this suffering is not real. I promise. Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg C/T off 20mg Cipralex Went into dark depression (never experienced before med) September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg Weaned down to 10mg and held October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point. Link to comment
Martina23 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 Hello Just, I am happy that taking medicaments works so well with you. I can not work when I take medicaments. My rational brain does not function well under medicaments, I know that if I took them we would most probably die of hunger, my whole motivation would be away, ability to take decision, my ability to learn, to feel. But everybody is other and it is great that you feel well. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted January 1, 2016 Share Posted January 1, 2016 But you are right that living the world outside is better than be always on some forum. It also works for me. We need more distraction than to concentrate on our symptoms. I am also now looking for a way to deal with OCD, but only in a non-medicaments way. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 2, 2016 Administrator Share Posted January 2, 2016 What a good idea, JustWantToBeFree. It sounds like going away did you good. Coming back here to post your resentment -- well, that's a little twisted, isn't it? You're very welcome for any constructive advice you might have found here that enabled you to heal. You absolutely do not have to participate here any more. In fact, I urge you not to. Good-bye and good luck to you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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