Mort81

[Mort81]

Thanks Skyler appreciate it!

 

One thing I meant to tell you, at one point you wondered why my psychiatrist would tell me to go on lyrica for stomach pain. I asked him a few weeks back and he said that he believes that 13 yrs of chronic headaches have been the cause of my stomach pain and thought this med would work on both. This was his theory before I brought to his attention my sporadic benzo use during my SSRI withdrawal. However eventhough he acknowledged that my theory has relevance he still advised to take Lyrica. So I haven't seen him since. Anyway just thought I'd let you know.

[Rhiannon]

Mort, your news is encouraging. The fact that you're having better days is a very good sign. 

 

Please don't be discouraged if you get hit with some bad days again. Recovery is typically roller coaster, so that's perfectly normal. People who show the kind of improvement you're having this early on generally continue to recover overall, even though they have some bad times from time to time. Just keep taking care of yourself and ride on through.

 

I agree with Dave's advice about the exercise; in withdrawal we mostly can't tolerate the kind of intense exercise we used to be able to do. You'll get it back, don't worry.

 

Docs like to prescribe drugs. It's what they know how to do. If they can't fix something, they throw drugs at it. Unfortunately all of these drugs cause changes in our nervous system, both in our brains, and throughout our bodies, and in our guts. I would avoid adding Lyrica or anything else, as well as you're doing now. Sounds like that's your plan.

 

I think you're doing great and you're on the healing path. Don't be discouraged if you hit the normal ups and downs, you're going to get through this. It will take a while but you'll get there.

 

In a year or two when you're feeling really good you can slowly taper off the clonazepam; you're on a pretty low dose so that shouldn't be a huge deal, but remember to do the 10% taper that we teach here.

[Mort81]

Thanks Rhi, I have noticed alot more roller coasters lately , way more frequent than in previous months. Having 3 better days in a row was nice , today I am not having as good of a day. Not a bad day but not a good day . Ill continue to ride the wave and focus that better days are coming. I think your right about the clonazapam. The fact that I am now having more windows is a good sign and I should wait until I Have a good year or so rather than a good month or so to make another cut. Once I am fully stable and back to exercising It will be as if I won the Lottery. That's one good thing about my life journey ,  Each time I go through something , I seem to come out much better , Its tough to see while your going through it but when you have emerged , clarity sinks in.  I have to admit this isn't my first go around with a long recovery of this magnitude. Maybe ill make a post about that as it might help some folks on here.

[PurplePlatypus]

Does anyone know the name of the documentary?

[Mort81]

I know there are a few of them out there but the I saw is called the Untold story of psychotropic drugging. I tried to cut and paste the link from my phone. Not sure if it will work

 

 

 

drugs.https://youtu.be/f4F-Ozy-wl8

[Mort81]

Had a bumpy 4 days in a row , I know I am in for a rough day when I wake up in the morning and ask my wife if she hit me with a bat repeatedly in my midsection. Breathing , eating was tough . Had some good times with family during these days but couldn't be myself. Very hard to be outgoing when you feel like junk. I am not getting too down but I am very aware than when I am not feeling good my mind questions the whole healing process. Also I was wondering is Dysautonomia the same thing as Withdrawal syndrome ? Ive been reading on it but still am confused 

[mammaP]

Withdrawal causes dysautonomia, which is nervous system instability. I'm glad to see that you have been having some good windows, that is really encouraging 

[Mort81]

Thanks MamaP! Today has been another rough one though, my stomach is so sore , its sensitive to touch. cant wait for bigger and better windows. Its weird how all my symptoms are in my Gut

[Songbird]

Many people find ginger good for stomach issues, I drink ginger tea quite often.  You could try aloe vera juice for gut problems, but if you decide to try it use a brand that contains only the inner gel (no bark or latex), you need to check the label carefully.  I found it very helpful for calming the gut, but as always, YMMV.  I've also had a lot of success with a gluten free diet, so you could try looking at your diet and noticing if any particular types of foods make things worse or better.

[Mort81]

Thanks songbird, ginger has been helpful in the past and I think I need to start having that again. I do gluten-free and dairy free but my stomach most of the time is still so sore.

 

After having 3 better days I have had about a dozen bad days again. I was wondering if anyone could give me advice about possibly reinstating a small dose of lexipro to relieve my discomfort? I have alot of pressure to go back to work in May and right now I'm in no condition to do so. I'm 7 months of Lexapro and I would never want to make my symptoms worse. I just want to be functional again and support my family but I'm stuck.

[mammaP]

I found the GAPS diet very helpful, Gut And Psychology syndrome I think it is called. You are right about it being in the gut, sort that out and the symptoms should improve.  It seems quite restrictive but it isn't a diet for life, it is to heal the gut. 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/890-scdgapspaleo-diets/?view=findpost&p=25707&hl=diet

 

A good probiotic is also recommended 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1229-probiotics-and-gut-health/?view=findpost&p=26917&hl=diet

[Mort81]

Gaps diet looks like a good protocol to base your food choices on. I will definitely use it as a guide. I went for a walk yesterday and than to the gym. I did 3 bodyweight squat sets with minimal reps and about 5 minutes of the bike. I felt really shaky afterwards. My nervous system seems so off. It's gonna take time, ill probably try some light exercises next week again. In between ill just take some walks and do light stretching. I can't wait for the chronic fatigue and weakness to get better.

[Mort81]

Just flooding with emotions today. Fear, anxiety about how physically weak I feel and how off my stomach feels. I want to cry but I can't. I'm scared that I won't be able to return to work for a long time. Losing my place is a possibility. Just really having a tough day. What a grind

[ten0275]

mort, hey.

sorry to hear yesterday was a rough one and that you have some difficult situations hanging over your head. it's a vicious cycle. your fragile nervous system is the cause of your life/situation problems which in turn dish further beatings to your nervous system. when either of the two parties settle - the nervous system or the life/situation things - the other benefits. so see if you can't find a proactive way to address one side of the balance - it takes less effort that trying to run back and forth between the two. i hope that makes sense.

and i hope today is evolving better for you. and either way, hang in there.

dave

[Mort81]

Makes a lot of sense Dave. This whole journey is summed up by that vicious cycle. If doctors recognized that withdrawal is real,than it would be easier for us to heal , getting the proper documentations for work and taking the time you need. Getting sick leave pay and focus on your healing. But we're all in that grey area unfortunately in life which can cause as many problems as the withdrawal itself. Stigma with family and friends is also problematic ,but life isn't easy I guess and I just have to accept what is. If I lose my place ill find a new one next year when I heal, same applies to my job. I'm gonna do my best to roll with the punches and not get caught up in what I cannot change. Thanks for your support Dave it means a lot! I will come out on top

[Mort81]

Just an update for anybody following my recovery. It seems as though my stomach soreness is continuing to improve , I can notice a difference , my stomach may not be my most pronounced symptom anymore. I have a general weakness and overall fatigue that is pretty troublesome. I continue to do light walking , try and get some sun and be a bit busy. However I can feel days where i cant leave my house the weakness is just so bad . So sitting outside is the best I can do.  I actually have my brothers wedding tonight and will do my best to put on a smile . One thing I know lots of you guys can relate too is trying to put on a happy face for people when your going through such a struggle. Anyway ill do my best and ill give weekly updates on my progress . Best of luck to everybody 

[Skyler]

Excellent news Mort, especially about your stomach.  Thanks for the update.

[Songbird]

Sounds like you are doing all the right things.  I'm glad to hear your stomach is improving.

[btdt]

Hi Mort I would not be surprised to see you need extra rest after a wedding.  I am sure all went well everybody loves a wedding  

Today is the first time for me at your thread.  I am curious about the ppi drug as I had never heard of it before. It seems to be a rather heavy drug as these drugs go stronger than some of the counter parts. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dexlansoprazole

 

I was wondering if you were put on this drug for a serious reason by a specialist and if you have done any follow up with a specialist if it was indeed a specialist who put you on it. 

 

I tried to take some drugs in the same family as that drugs an couldn't tolerate them... so was switched around a few times.  I also know there are some side effects from them I did not expect. 

http://www.drugs.com/sfx/dexilant-side-effects.html

 

As you can see above headache is one of the side effects.  It also says in that page to see your doc if you have stomach pain.  Just careful is all I actually had sores on my esophagus I looked at a picture of them in the specialists office he did not tell me that was a side effect of effexor that i learned on m own after I had quit taking it. 

 

I see your Canadian too eh... have a good one 

wishing you peace

[Mort81]

Thanks for the Continued support everyone!  Hello btdt and thanks for reading my threads I was on the acid blocker Tecta for roughly 5+ years before ever taking the dexilant . When I first started experiencing all my stomach issues , which was when I was tapering down to 5mg of Lexapro and I was terrified that anyone of my meds could be causing this distress.So I stopped all my meds including the tecta and I had a really bad rebound effect.  A scope was done and he notcied nothing but my bad acid reflux so he prescribed me dexilant to heal up.  So I started to take the dexilant . Im not taking it anymore , I slowly got off of it. For me I used to have a really bad diet , lots of caffiene , dairy , bread ,sugar .. When I eat right my acid is under total control 

 

I thought it was possible that years on PPI's could have hurt my stomach but I am not sure which one of the three drugs I took is the main reason for my past stomach distress. 8 months into WD and my gut tells me now the main culprit was the Lexapro. 

 

My headaches have been there since I was 19 yrs old. A combination of a few things caused this issue . 

 

The sores on the esphagus must have been painful! Hows that are for you now ?  I thought my pain at one point could have been sores or an ulcer but two scopes done and wasnt the case. It's funny we have to figure out all these side effects on our own .  Everyone be well . 

[Mort81]

Thanks Marmite that does help and makes tons of sense. My first reaction was like my stomach stopped working aswell and I threw everything but the kitchen sink at it too work . I thought I had Gastroparesis nothing moved , my stomach made no noises. After 3 months that started to improve. Now after 8 months its continually improving . things move normally through my digestive tract and the pain has subsided .Its not good to know other people have suffered through the same thing but it does provide relief in a sense that things get better. I dont know about you but at first everything i ate felt as if I was allergic to it . Now 8 months later i am introducing things into my diet ,without any issues. This whole thing has been crazy lol . I still cant believe it sometimes.  Be well Marmite 

[Mort81]

OMG that sounds rough!! Did the procedure work ? The things we have all gone through on this site ! holy cow !  

[Mort81]

Just an update, I see I haven't posted in 3 weeks. Things have been alot like a roller coaster lately. I was having more frequent better days, I even started doing yoga again and that made me super happy. But this week has been tougher, stomach very tender to touch, energy drained and just an overall feeling of frustration. I seem to be able to indulge maybe once a week by having a coffee or a cookie but anything more than that and my symptoms seem to get worse. It's possible that my stomach is still so sensitive to food that its causing a delayed reaction that bed rids me. I have thought of doing an allergy test but think it maybe pointless. My system is only reacting this way because it's not used to functioning without the med. Once that completely settles down than I won't react to it anymore. In the meantime I'm going to buckle down on my diet and do my best to stay positive and not think about the negatives. I have success when I don't think of my symptoms. Focus on happy thoughts and let the body heal the way it knows how. Wishing everyone on here happy healing

[btdt]

Some probiotics may be helpful there is a thread about it here I think. 

and wd is just like this since I have a video up here is a brief explanation of the wd process.

[Mort81]

Thanks btdt,

 

This is exactly what is happening. Everytime I feel improvement I seem to get hammered again in another wave. I was taking pro-biotics daily for 6 months or so and stopped.I thought maybe I was reacting to them. Thanks for the video

[Mort81]

I have been eating as clean as can be and my stomach is so sensitive  , even to lightly touch it , it hurts. When my stomach gets like this , I have a tough time doing anything . I am hopeful better days are coming . Be well Community 

[Mort81]

In a big wave , emotions are crazy , feelings of doom and gloom. Waves of strong feelings like my body being overtaken by Aliens.  Its funny I could be having the worst day , a crippling day and than when I am so tired that I have to sleep , it lets go.  When my body is ready to relax and my mind slows down and I think about nothing . My symptoms get better. They dont go away but they let up. The mind and body are a funny thing . I haven't awaken from my nightmare yet. I wish everyone a peaceful day. 

[Mort81]

I cant believe I was prescribed 30mg of Lexapro for 8 yrs. No wonder my body feels like it was hit by a train.

[Mort81]

Is there anyone else on this site that was on this high of a dose for a long time ? If so msg me Id like to know how your doing 

[Mort81]

Just an update for anybody interested in my recovery also I see this site as somewhat of a journal to look back on. Start with the good news first My fatigue issues are continually getting better, I would almost say that my energy is back to normal. Like maybe 80%. Huge difference and I am so thankful for that. My stomach is still struggling with tenderness and a bruising feeling,  feels like I'm recovering from a bomb wound .  It affects my whole body because it's right in my core. So any type of exercise or movement is tough at the moment. This may be the last part that goes considering it was the worst part of my whole withdrawal.

 

Something new has come u aswell but seems like an old problem that's affecting me differently. I've had chest pain and tightness for about 3 weeks. Not terribly uncomfortable but enough to make me worry. My new doctor as well as my wife believe it's my Gerd coming back and burning my esophagus. This was a major problem for me in years past. So I am back on dexilant for two weeks and not sure what PPI I would take afterwards. At first I was pissed, I can't get off these drugs.  My diet is clean, no gluten, dairy, sugar etc.  I take an enzyme. But anyway I guess baby steps and maybe letting my body  heal from withdrawal first. One thing at a time, it's possible trying to fix both problems at once is too much for  my system right now.  I am still on 0.125mg of Klonopin aswell.  Hope everyone is doing well. Better days are ahead.  Each day brings us one day closer to wholeness. 

[btdt]

Thanks for the Continued support everyone!  Hello btdt and thanks for reading my threads I was on the acid blocker Tecta for roughly 5+ years before ever taking the dexilant . When I first started experiencing all my stomach issues , which was when I was tapering down to 5mg of Lexapro and I was terrified that anyone of my meds could be causing this distress.So I stopped all my meds including the tecta and I had a really bad rebound effect.  A scope was done and he notcied nothing but my bad acid reflux so he prescribed me dexilant to heal up.  So I started to take the dexilant . Im not taking it anymore , I slowly got off of it. For me I used to have a really bad diet , lots of caffiene , dairy , bread ,sugar .. When I eat right my acid is under total control 

 

I thought it was possible that years on PPI's could have hurt my stomach but I am not sure which one of the three drugs I took is the main reason for my past stomach distress. 8 months into WD and my gut tells me now the main culprit was the Lexapro. 

 

My headaches have been there since I was 19 yrs old. A combination of a few things caused this issue . 

 

The sores on the esphagus must have been painful! Hows that are for you now ?  I thought my pain at one point could have been sores or an ulcer but two scopes done and wasnt the case. It's funny we have to figure out all these side effects on our own .  Everyone be well . 

It really hurt I did not eat much and food would not slide down like it once did... but before I found out about the sores I threw up a lot of blood like two cups full.. I was out of town so went to emerg ... there they did blood work and said I had pancreatitis I have had it a few times since too they don't do anything about it so far the first time they kept me for observation said follow up with your own doc when you get home... but at home i did not have and could not get  a doc.. doc shortage had been for years... 

 

The first hosp gave papers with my blood work ect to give to the next doc should I find one or the next emerg whatever came first well emerg came first ... horrid pain I went in and gave them the papers they said they were setting me an apt to see a specialist .. they eventually did months later.  he did the scope and took pictures... I have looked for pictures like them on the web but they were not exactly the same as mine... this doc thought I think hoped it was the sores bleeding... but I don't think so it was too much blood it felt like somehting gave way under my right breast when I was bleeding... I pushed it down hard with my hand and held it there while i drove to the hosp... 

 

I have had all sorts of problems with this since wd... but a second scope said the sores were healed I have a hernia or a couple but nothing bad enough to fix I guess... something still does not feel right in this area but they have looked and find nothing... last scope was years ago.. my gut is very sensitive I have not had on jeans or any clothes like that in years as it hurts too much ... that is my gut story... 

 

after the car accident in 2012 aparently I had spasms of the esophagus no idea why and I just found out that was the dx .. heard if from report another doc had. who knows.. but spasms really really hurt. . 

[btdt]

I would suggest a probiotic... it helps my gut...I think it helps the gerd too... if I get really bad I stop eating just happens not that I am trying then I use 3 probiotics in apple sauce.. 3 x a day... it really helps me... if apples bother you try it with something else they will not hurt you I have not hear of any reactions from them yet. I tried an enzyme once and it made me worse i will never take them again. 

peace

[ten0275]

mort, hey man.

thanks a bunch for stopping by my thread. i appreciate it. it's been awhile since you've given a full update. how are you holding up as of now? i read your update from june 2nd and things sounded not terrible, but not awesome. chest-pains were part of my benzo withdrawal experience as well - the whole core of my body, particularly the gut, took a solid hit. terrible. any way, do update when you have the chance. i've been a less frequent poster of late, but still read a ton.

hang in there.

dave

[Mort81]

No prob Dave , thanks for checking up on me .

 

Im similiar to my June 2nd post , things arent terrible but not good.  I think the emotional side of things is wearing  more on me lately. I need a boost in moral somehow , a sign, more progress , something.  Im progressing there is no doubt but as you know its ever so slow. when my physcial symptoms are heavily present or maybe my mind isnt distracted enough , than I start to get discouraged.  Racing thoughts and basically just feelings of doom and gloom accompany the physical side where I dont see the end in sight. I guess maybe a part of me thought Id be back at work and further along . Ive been off for 4 months with no income due to no diagnosis for withdrawal but I know it can take people alot longer. Physically I was able to do some light exercises for a few weeks but I ran into a snag , just doing light yoga caused some pretty severe head pain so I had to put the exercise on hold. I go for walks everyday and try to stay out in the sun a bit. Im probably outside for an hour or two a day, sometimes more. My system feels like its fighting hard to regulate , I cant wait for this to let up . Thanks for checking in I hope my next post is more positive 

 

Mort 

[Fresh]

Hi Mort , I'm just catching up with your thread.

Does 40mg of lexapro for 6 years beat 30mg of lexapro for 8 years? Lol , I had that stomach pain for so long , it felt bruised all the time. I became seriously malnourished because it was usually too painful to risk eating.

 

I did get relief from changing to a "Proper Food Combining" diet. Google it and see what you think , it's a matter of eating carbs separate from proteins , and fruit only on a empty stomach. It theorizes that the enzymes used to digest each of these groups are different , and when you eat them together the enzymes are doing battle with each other and no-one's digesting the food. See Sherry Brescia , "Great Taste , No Pain".

I had chest pains and shortness of breath too , but hardly at all now as i'm recovering. They're related to the drugs , not asthma or cardiac events.

 

It's taking longer than you'd want , but you will get back to health and work. Be patient , at least you're in good company for the ride.

 

[Mort81]

Fresh thank you so much for that encouraging post! Ive been getting down and discouraged alot lately  but I have a strong support system at home with my family and wife so I am grateful and this board has been so valuable to me. I read the recovery stories every day! I have to tell myself that people have taken more meds and higher doses than me and came out fully recovered! I  have a bad habit of feeling too sorry for myself and I think its bringing me down. I will definatley check the book out right now ! I have to maximize my nutrition and absorption.  I have gained 10 pounds in the last 3 months but because of digestion and pain some days I can barley eat, so that book seems amazing. Im off to check out the book , Thanks again Fresh! were in this together:)