Mort81

[Mort81]

Just writing a post about what happened to me yesterday and was curious if any others have experienced this. For those of you that dont know my story my main reason I tried to get off my antidepressants was my body was over heating all the time ,especially during physical activity and it would lead to uncontrollable shaking ,headaches and even synocope. So that's how my journey into the depths of WD began. Now yesterday night I was away at a wedding and was actually having a good time maybe I danced for 20 min ,nothing crazy I didnt even break a sweat . When I got back to the hotel it happened again. NO synocope thank goodness as it is extremely uncomfortable but It took me about an hour to cool down and stop shaking.The effects linger for days and sometimes weeks.foggy head and slightly blurry vison ,objects dont stay still when I look at them.Does anyone have any idea what this is ? While on Antidepressants I saw two neurologists and obviously they had no answers .My own presumption is that the meds obviously caused me to overheat and have these type of reaction and now my system is extremely sensitive due to WD so I am still prone to this at the moment?? Please I would appreciate any feedback!

When I google this issue I get something called Autonomicdystonia and my symptoms line up pretty well. However is that not Just an umbrella term for what we are all going through with WD?? The nervous system trying to balance back ?

[Mort81]

I apologize if I have ever written a similar post and forgot the answer .

[NewMe]

Is it possible you are dehydrated or it is caused from caffeine?

 

I know of a person who has this happen from time to time with the shaking. He said he has always had it and never has been on ADs. Doctors have no idea what causes it with him.

[Mort81]

Naa I didnt have caffiene. Its something I got alot while on AD . and its possible that because the med was increasing my bodyheat so much that I was getting dehydrated. But I have been off the med for 11 months . I guess I dont need to look into it , it will just drive me nuts.  My body is super sensitive still  I guess , cant wait until this **** is over!!

[stan]

after stopping paxil, during the first two years off, i had crisis of trembling shaking during half an hour, and then it went away slowly; maybe total 4 to 5 crisis in 2 years, and since no more, but i had also akathisia which appears several months after finished taper;

of course, never had something as this in my life before paxil

[Petunia]

Mort, please see:  tremors, shaking, body vibration - Surviving Antidepressants

[Mort81]

Thanks petunia!

[Jaywill]

Yes I am three years off and have been taken to hospital with extreme shaking and a variety of other symptoms. Much better that i have restricted my diet from Gluten and dairy. The last time i ended up is hospital my blood sugars were way high. Paxil and other antidepressants can really affect your sugars

[Mort81]

Ya Jaywill ive been there too. Thanks for the response. I had major problems regulating body temperature while on AD. I have it to a much lesser degree now but still present.

[Jaywill]

Yes I lost a ton of weight and was always cold. I am getting alot better with regulating my temperature as well

[Skyler]

Merged with your intro thread as this relates to your personal journey.  Please link to your intro thread from your sig. line so you can find it when you want to post. Thanks

[Mort81]

Okay thanks Skyler.  Quick Update in Mortville , population 1 . I haven't had an intrusive or disturbing thought in over a month maybe even longer. I havent talked much about those thoughts during my WD . But I know most of you guys know what Im talking about.  Those thoughts were probably and have been the worst part of WD. My stomach continues to ever so slowly improve. I have been combining foods better (Thanks Fresh) than before and more time to rest has helped. I still like to enjoy my treats from time to time as I get so much enjoyment from doing so. To be honest I probably have too many of these snacks ! but if something bugs me I will avoid it. So heres where Im at. My stomach is improving , those evil thoughts are gone . My physical weakness and Fatigue are worse lately.  I have lots of trouble sometimes walking around the block . I have  a pond at the end of my street where I go almost daily to watch all the wild life ... mainly just birds lol but anyway I have trouble walking back. My body feels like 400 lbs . I have tried to push through some days but its really backfired . Ive competed my whole life in sports and I can really push when it comes to anything physical but I am not used to having to constantly dial it back, literally to a crawl. Ive never physically felt or been this week so its very scary for me. and what makes it worse is that  Work and playing sports are constantly on my mind , and I need to find a way to let them go , until Im ready. Ive noticed the more I want something , The more I worry and than The worse I feel that I cant do it. Maybe it will benefit me down the road that I used to be so physically strong, but right now I feel that its holding me back .  I hope everyone is doing well and the next time I give an update , it will be extremely positive   maybe that I am back at work .......

[pug]

Mort,

 

Sounds like you have a mixed bag of symptoms; some improving and some that are still a struggle. I hope that your fatigue will improve soon and that you continue to heal in all areas.

[Mort81]

Just an update today is one day past my 1 year anniversary of WD. The day the sh----- hit the fan! lately I've been feeling that better and good things are coming.last year it was a sign of bad things during this time. But this year is the total opposite. I have a positive Ora feeling. My nightmares have started to disappear and I dont wake up with a ridiculous surge of cortisol. Ive felt a little more normal. My body is still out of sorts especially with the fatigue but their is more of a calmness about me.A good day maybe soon. Be well my friends

[ten0275]

mort, hey man.

happy anniversary! i remember how the first anniversary o' 365 held much weight for me, much importance. hell, the third did too for that matter. perspective, in my humble opinion, is something that is won by endurance through the passing of time. time under the weight of withdrawal is quadruple time - with sandbags on every limb. despite the lingering symptoms you have, you pulled hard to get yourself through a year. well-done. your optimism is a beautiful thing - absolutely beautiful. because i am sure there were days in the last year when you had zero optimism and wondered how you'd continue.

you can use this milestone as a testament to what you have - i mean mettle. not just in withdrawal, but as you once again begin to fully explore the broader world that is your life. you earned every bit of healing you have. i hope the next 365 brings an even clearer healing and that you see a complete cessation to your withdrawal suffering very soon.

hang in there, and thanks for sharing this good news.

dave

[AliG]

 Hi Mort,  Happy Anniversary !

Dave said it all !  I can't add much more, except to say  I hope it  all continues to go well, for you. 

[Mort81]

Thanks Dave and Ali I really appreciate it! I think this is gonna be a big year. My symptoms are still strong but nowhere near the suffering when this all started. Plus the stress I was under during the first 6-7 months of not knowing what I was dealing with wore heavily on me. I only think the last 3 or 4 months I have been truly healing. Im expecting big things and looking forward to updating you all when I feel good.

[Mort81]

Hey guys Just want to give an update on how Im doing. Last time I updated wae about a month ago.

 

Its been up and down over the last little while. But the downs are not too bad. Anxiety, fear and even some panic started occurring about a month ago but it never lasted and has been very infrequent. I usually wake up with these feelings everyday but they are improving with less intensity. My mental clarity is continuing to get better as I become more hopeful of recovery. My stomach is also continuing to improve monthly as I am constantly noticing Suttle positive changes. I find myself worrying less and am able to enjoy more of my days than before. So i am grateful for my improvements as it has made my days a little more enjoyable.

 

 

One thing that hasnt improved yet has been my physical weakness/fatigue. Its been very bad and im pretty much housebound because of it. I can get out for maybe an hour but its tough. My legs are jelly and It feels like I have to fight not to fall down. I did get a routine blood test that signaled my white blood are high. I have a doctor's appointment thursday to go over the results but my fragile mind/body seem to be consumed by these results. I got the results yesterday as I am able to access them on a website before my doctor receives them. She only works Mon-Thurs. Does anyone else have experience with high white blood cells? Is this common in WD? Any info or help would be appreciated I need to calm my mind lol and googling is not always the best idea. Thanks

 

Mort

[Mort81]

Just one note  I did have a blood test last month and my cells were also high . My doctor asked If i was battling an infection. I said other than WD nothing I know of.  Its funny I started to be able to relax more lately as other symptoms have improved! Now something else to worry about WTH! 

[Mort81]

Just an update for anyone following my progress. So I had my follow up yesterday and my doctor isn't too worried about my blood cells. As my white blood cells are normal range of high but one aspect lymphocytes is slightly High 4.7 and the normal range is 1-3.5.  Im pretty sure I've read stress can cause a raise and obviously I've never been under more in my life. 

 

So I got another note to keep my Job for at least 2 months. My doctor probably only gave me the note because she performed a physical exam of my strength.  My strength is my worst symptom by far right now so she was pretty shocked at how bad I was. Enough so that she referred me to a new neurologist and asked me if I have been tested for mono or aids. 

 

So under the care of my old prescribing doctor I did about 20 tests for my stomach as it was not functioning properly and in severe pain.  I fired her and now I have another doctor sending me for all these other tests for weakness.  I guess its good that she cares but im a bit tired of all the tests. 

 

If I didn't need notes to keep my job for me  I don't think Id see a doctor for a long time. Only cause I feel its impeding my recovery. It's caused me more stress than what it's worth. 

[Mort81]

Heres a quick and positive update about my progress. I feel like I have been away from this site for ages however its only been about 3 weeks. Good news is that some of my symptoms have drastically improved in last 3 weeks . I mean its odd and very welcoming . I wasnt bed ridden by fatigue/Weakness but I was pretty much starting to become housebound. Looking back on it I dont know how long the peak lasted it seemed like 4 or more months but I am about 50% stronger in the last 3 weeks. Ive actually been thinking of trying to do light exercise again which is so much fun for me and a big part of who I am. So If I was trying to walk around with 10% energy/strength I think its about 50% right now  Other symptoms such as Dizzyness which actually only popped up about 4-6 weeks ago have almost disappeared . I didnt write about this symptom too much but it got really strong during that stretch. At least several times during the day which lasted about 1 hour eachtime. I would feel like I  got off of one of those carnival rides that spins around in circles. I didnt panic when this happened because Ive read others experieincing the same thing. Very odd symptom that has really faded . Another symptom that was strong throughout the whole WD was nightmares . This has signifigantly decreased in intensity and has almost completley faded away. Cortisol spikes in the am have completely disappeared , I am not sure If I noted that in prior journals but I can say they are completley gone ! Anxiety has been a little bit more prevalent but not constant . Its been off and on for the last few months. This symptom also didnt rear its ugly head until late into WD . My stomach and digestive tract seem to be okay. I havent noticed a difference lately its probably still between 70-80%  of my normal based on the day. I am still very sensitive to certain foods like dairy and wheat . It has gotten better in that regard as I can eat dairy and wheat but in small amounts. I am really looking forward to my gut going back to normal . I miss the regular morning coffee and occasional baked bread with butter! I still have coffee but not as often as Id like as it can irritate my gut. So I am very happy to bring these updates to you guys , is it possible all these symptoms are starting to fade away !?? If so I am going to go to disney land or Vegas ... I dont know.....the thought of feeling good again is a dream come true. Also Im sending healing energy to everyone on the site and wishing a speedy recovery to all my friends here . Be well and know good things are coming to us ! your friend Mort 

[DLB]

Sounds great Mort! Did you ever gain your weight back? I have lost a bit and didnt need to , and it seems it is mostly muscle mass. I went from a 34 waist to 32/33 in a couple of months and i eat everything in sight..

[Mort81]

Thanks DLB! I have gained 20 pounds back since this all started. My natural weight is probably 180 and im about 170 right now. Once my stomach heals a bit more which should mean 3 or 4 meals instead of two I think ill put on the other 10 lbs.

 

Its good that you have a healthy appetite so I would think in time you should gain your weight back rather quickly.

[Mort81]

Well 3 days later and Im in a bit of a wave. Gut felt destroyed since Sunday Saturday night. Maybe it's extra stress as some things have come up or just the way the cycle goes in withdrawal. Hopefully my next update is much better. I think even as uncomfortable as this wave is, its nowhere near how bad it used to be. However im stuck in bed.

[LexAnger]

just want to say hi Mort as I only found from your post to psyguy's thread you are also one of the lexapro victims and still on your way out.

 

and want you know thta you are nt alone in struggling with the WD while hadling a full time job.

 

Me too, has been hanging for the job for 2 years but my productivity has been decreasing conistantly due to worsening WD. I feel every so often that I have to let it go.

 

I will try to read your thread from the very begining, but like to wish you continuous healing before I find time for that.

 

Lex

[Mort81]

Thanks Lex! It is very reassuring to know how much support is on here. The Job thing was the most stressful situation ive ever had in my life. My symptoms were way too strong for me to continue working. I lasted 5 months during WD but struggled so badly and it broke me down physically.My gut was in so much pain that it made it tough to do anything. Im still off work since late February which financially has been very difficult but at this point I have no options. Hopefully the symptoms weaken enough by the end of this year or the summer that ill be back in routine.I miss work a whole lot but I think I just miss being healthy more.Most people fully heal or at least come close to fully healing during 1-2 years so Im hopeful and Optiistic this will be

[Mort81]

the year

[LexAnger]

Completely understand, Mort the damage is at the very impossible level in all the impossible areas to your health along with every other aspects of your life (job, family, etc.) 

 

Also, I experienced the significantimpacts of PPI on my SSIR effects during the taper. I notice you are also on PPI. I read sayings like PPI may be your problem. I hope you are aware of it already. 

[Mort81]

Ya I am aware of the PPI Impact. Ive tried getting off them a few times during my WD but the rebound acid is so bad that it makes me feel worse. Ive managed to cut my dose in half but in order to get off them I think my body has to get a bit stronger to endure the months of rebound acid.

[Mort81]

Lex how did the PPI effect you? How long were you on it? Ive been on a PPI for about 5 yrs. When I was trying to stop during WD. I think the longest I was able to stand was 1 month and than the rebound acid made my stomach and symptoms worse. If my stomach symptoms improved while I was trying to get off maybe I would have tried to stick it out but theu got worse.

[LexAnger]

I was on PPI for 15 some years until I CTed it last year by accident.

 

I tried many time before to stop but always had unbearable pain hours later. One day last June, I forgot to take it and found I was ok mid day, so I waited and watched and just stopped without any problem.

 

Well, the impact of stopping PPI messed my entire situation with lexapro effects. I started immediate WD symptoms even I was not tapering then) with dizziness, numb, pressure etc. for like 2 weeks then I suddenly remember some reading I did earlier about the impact of PPI on SSIR effects (increasig serotonin level by up to 50% when taking together with SSIR) . Unfortunately I decided to increase lexapro dose to catch up the estimated lack of the extra effect. That was when my entire situation started spining. I believe the increase I made was too much so  ended up with severe reaction to dose increase. 

 

Anyway, looking back, I wish I reinstated the PPI instead as SSIR is so much trickier to get off than PPI. Or, if I tapered PPI instead CTed it, things might have been much better.

 

As for you, even you are off Lexapro now, I heard so much about the impact of gut health and PPI on serotonin. I would think a good thing to do to stop it if possible. 

 

There are quite discussions about PPI in the forum. I will ty to find it for you to read through.

[LexAnger]

here it is: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2533-that-acid-reflux-pill-may-be-causing-your-health-problems/

[Mort81]

Hey thanks for the thread. It was an interesting read. I am going to try and get off them soon. My stomach was really starting to calm down until last week. Its a slippery slope right now with regards to changing anything. I am scared to make any changes right now. I need my system to stabilize and get stronger. These stupid acid pills are very hard to taper because they have a million little beads in the capsule. Im at 30mg from 60mg. My plan all along was once my WD symptoms get much better than I would taper off the PPI. I tried 3 times during WD to stop these pills but it was too much for my system to handle. But I am gonna try again soon

[Mort81]

Foresure increasing your Lexapro was a big shock to your system at the time. Its so good you finally got off the PPI though. Did you switch right away to the H2 blocker?

[LexAnger]

glad you take great considertion of making any chnges during the WD. Definitely not to trigger your system when you are struggling with severe WD.

 

I did switch to H2 blocker for just 1 month before I stopped all together. I actually started feeling the WD effect already during the time I was on H2 blocker, but the severe ones started when I stopped th H2 blocker.

 

Yeah, I tink that was the thought I had then not to restart the PPI/H2 blocker as they are nasty too, and I was excited I was ok without them. well, got much worser hit by ssir resulted from that.

[Mort81]

Just an update for those who follow and for myself if I ever want to look back. Some big changes have been happening with me. Mostly good. As the rubix cube changes my symptoms have greatly reduced in most areas and ramped up in one. My weakness /fatigue is so much better. I can walk around the block without issue and Ive even gone to the park a few times to shoot some hoops by myself. I was way to weak for months to even attempt this. I think I've been working with 60% of my normal strength pretty much daily. I also did 15 min of yoga. My stomach has been very good lately. Id say consistently at 80 % of my norm. So my two biggest symptoms have been way better lately. However with the increased energy and strength my mind feels like its been sped up 100 fold which has been very unpleasant. Its ramped up fear for the last 4 days.It has really disrupted my sleep as my anxiety peaks at night. Ive tried magnesium, lemon balm teas and even a little extra klonopin but with little success. I think I have to let it run its course. I can't tolerate caffeine or anything stressful at the moment that could trigger adrenaline. Hopefully my mind calms down so I can really enjoy this new found energy!! Its so annoying when one system improves another one goes MIA. Hopefully my next update is even better with no symptoms ramping up just all abating.

 

MORT