Apple: Intro Topic

[Apple]

I was put on Paxil at age 14 for depression and OCD, and it worked magnificently for me for several years. Then when I was 20, I wanted to come off so I would be able to consume alcoholic beverages and my doctor suggested I don't come off. But I told her I really wanted to come off. So she helped me wean down 10mg at a time, from 40mg back in 2004. When I went from 20mg to 10mg, I got horrific physical and mental withdrawal symptoms. I ended up in the hospital 3 times for severe depression and OCD. I ended up on a few meds, but then came off them because I was misdiagnosed and because of side affects. The first time I was in the hospital, they raised the Paxil from 10mg to 20mg, and then raised it again and again after a few weeks/months. They also added a few drugs, including Seroquel and Anafranil. I stayed on Paxil, Anafranil and Seroquel (only those 3 psych drugs) for a total of 3-4 years after my thirst hospitalization for depression. I drank on all that too and lied to my doctor about how much alcohol I was consuming. I was so frightened to come off of Paxil, even with suggestions of the 10% weaning method.  It came to a point where I was a zombie. I eventually ended up on disability for depression, which I am still on. Going on disability made me stop drinking. And that bottom was when I realized I was too drugged up. I figured I had to start weaning off the meds slowly, so I am not a zombie, and also so I could drink. So I slowly weaned off Seroquel and I had barely and problems doing that. After that I slowly weaned off of Paxil using the 10% method and I had no withdrawal symptoms what so ever. I stayed on it for 4 years out of fear after my first attempt to withdraw from it for nothing. And for that I consider myself a success story.

 

I was still on Anafranil until this past February 1st. I stayed on that for 9 and a half years. I was on 300mg of Anafranil, and my doctor said the max is 250mg. My last dose of it was almost 4 weeks ago. I deeply regret coming off of it now, but my husband and I wanted to get pregnant. Now we are most likely not going to get pregnant because I can't take this withdrawal nonsense anymore. Might I add that I am very indecisive...but that's a whole different story that I won't get into now. When I started weaning off of Anafranil, my doctor put me on 20mg of Prozac. I believe that I can wean off of Prozac successfully using the 105 method when the times comes. My plan was to wean off of Prozac during my 2nd trimester of pregnancy and go back on another med after I had the baby.

 

I am currently having 3 major withdrawal symptoms from stopping Anafranil 4 weeks ago. I cannot fall asleep and been getting 3-7 hours a night. I have anxiety and I cry very easily. My psychiatrist put me on Vistaril (hydroxyzine) for anxiety and sleep.

 

I have to add one more thing to my introduction topic which makes this story so much more worse. When I was 24 years old, I was diagnosed with a hyperthyroid and first put on Tapazole for that. I remained on either Tapazole or PTU (another drug) for 7 years. I often switched between the two for one reason or another. It was a possibility (in my mind. Not any of my doctors') that Anafranil caused me to have a hyperthyroid. But I will never know. When I told my thyroid doctor that we wanted to get pregnant, she said that I can't get pregnant on the Tapazole whatsoever, and she's been saying that since she first prescribed it to me. The other med, PTU, recent studies showed that it can cause liver failure or death. They recently found that out a few years ago. So one of the only ways to get pregnant was to have my thyroid surgically removed so I could stop taking Tapazole and take a thyroid replacement hormone called Synthroid. She also gave me another option: go on PTU for 2-3 months and try to get pregnant. But we just said, let's go for the surgery. So I had surgery for that in October, 4 months before I stopped taking the Anafranil. Dumb decision. I should have tried coming off of Anafranil first and see if I could handle it ant then had the surgery. Should of, would of, could of. Now I have this ugly scar on my neck and no thyroid.

 

My view is that one antidepressant is ok for me. I need at least one. I haven't been without an antidepressant since I was 14 and I am now 31. My depression and OCD were so bad with no antidepressants. I was and I still am mentally ill. I will be this way for the rest of my life. I will end up in the hospital or end up drinking again if I don't take at least one antidepressant.

 

I must stop this story now, it's upsetting, but to the point. I proofread it several times so I didn't make any mistakes. I've been working on this intro topic and off since last night. That's the way I accomplish things in life, is doing it little by little.

[dalsaan]

Hi Apple,

 

Welcome to SA and thanks for taking time to do your introductory post and to complete your signature. You are obviously going through a lot. It would be difficult to tease out whether the symptoms are from stopping your drugs or starting them, probably both are making a contribution to how you feel. I recommend you read through our symptoms forum for non drug ways to address insomnia etc.

 

Do you gave any specific questions?

 

Dalsaan

[Apple]

It would be difficult to tease out whether the symptoms are from stopping your drugs or starting them, probably both are making a contribution to how you feel

 

I started the Prozac in August. When I started it in August, I was fine. No symptoms whatsoever. I hardly get symptoms from starting antidepressants. I only get symptoms when I stop taking them. I stopped taking Anafranil on February 1st. I started to go downhill with anxiety, insomnia, and crying jags on February 10th, when I had an interview for a new job. I started crying and having anxiety after the interview and I felt like I was hit by a train. Insomnia started around that time, too. This week was the worst. I didn't fall asleep until 5 am on Sunday night, 2:30am Monday night, and 4:30 am Tuesday night. Are these withdrawal symptoms or symptoms from being mentally ill?

 

I also did try Melatonin on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night. But I did it all wrong. I bought 10mg and I read on this site that I'm supposed to start with a dose much l lower than that and then gradually go up. I'll have to return the open bottle to the store I bought it from and start again with a lower dose.

 

On Thursday night I started 50mg of Visteral. I didn't fall asleep until 1 am. Tonight I take another 50mg. Tomorrow night and thereafter, I'm supposed to raise it and I take 100mg. That should work. If it doesn't, Plan B is to start taking Trazodone.

[Fresh]

Hi  Apple , welcome to the site.

  

I've just put Zoloft and vistaril into the drug interaction checker at www.drugs.com , and they are not recommended to be taken together.

 

- "using fluoxetine together with hydroxyzine may increase side effects such as dizziness , drowsiness and difficulty concentrating.  Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgement.

 

I would stop the vistaril now if it was me , and take it from there.

 

So were you taking both anafranil and Prozac between August 2014 and Feb. 2015?   That has a dangerous interaction profile too:

- " this combination may cause sedation ,dry mouth , blurred vision , constipation and urinary retention . . . altered consciousness ,confusion , poor muscle co-ordination , abdominal cramping , shivering , sweating , increased heart beat , high blood pressure". 

 

Also , your taper from anafranil was very fast.  You may well be experiencing withdrawal symptoms from  that.

 

You will get through this Apple , there's just some sorting out to do first.

 

Welcome aboard ,    Fresh

[Petunia]

On Thursday night I started 50mg of Visteral. I didn't fall asleep until 1 am. Tonight I take another 50mg. Tomorrow night and thereafter, I'm supposed to raise it and I take 100mg. That should work. If it doesn't, Plan B is to start taking Trazodone.

 

Hi Apple,

Taking Prozac and Trazodone together is also not a good idea.

 

Interactions between your selected drugs

fluoxetine ↔ trazodone

Applies to: Prozac (fluoxetine), trazodone

Using FLUoxetine together with traZODone can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

source:  http://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=2228-0,1115-648

 

Another reason not to mix trazodone with prozac is that it has an active metabolite, meta-Chlorophenylpiperazine (mCPP), and a huge number of interactions with other drugs that can make you feel very sick.  For more details about this interaction see here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2883-tips-for-tapering-off-trazodone-desyrel/

 

Are you taking 20mg of Prozac?  Please would you add the dose to your signature.

 

Its possible that this dose of prozac may be too high for you, for some people, prozac can be activating, adding to sleep problems.  I really don't have any suggestions, because as Dalsaan mentioned, its difficult to know what is causing symptoms when there have been several changes recently.

 

I've learned from my own experience that these kinds of drugs are not a long term solution to our problems with life, eventually they start causing more problems than they solve and most people end up in a downward spiral as more and more drug fixes are tried.

 

I'd highly recommend reading Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.  These drugs were never meant to be used long term.

 

Of course its your life and you need to decide what is best for you, but we can't recommend any drug treatments for symptoms, please stay in touch and let us know what you decide.

 

Petunia.

[Apple]

Thank you for your replies. I didn't forget about them. I did research little by little. I still have to do more research about what the replies said and I have to gather my thoughts. I am not emotionally ready to respond and write back to them yet. I will respond to them soon this week.

[Fresh]

Take your time Apple.   Go at your own pace.   The last thing you need is to feel stressed about having to respond.

 

Warm wishes ,   Fresh

[Apple]

In addition to going off of Anafranil, I am also going through some other things in my life. My grandma, who I was extremely close with died a month ago. I just put in 2 weeks notice to my part time job I had. In my state of the US, people on disability are allowed to make up to 1K a month, and I'm lucky if I make half of that per month. I am going to start volunteering with children so I'm not lounging around the house. Eventually down the line I will start looking for another part time job. And I'm going through this thought of being childless for the rest of my life.

 

Petunia, I did watch all of the videos in your signature. I also read all of the suggestions and links in this post. I have been a member of PP for more than a decade and I know exactly what everyone on this forum is saying about all of these drugs. I respect everyone's opinion. Everyone in this world has a different reaction to psychiatric drugs when they take them because each and everyone of us has a different biochemical makeup. One reason why I took a few days to reply to this topic was because I don't like confrontation.

 

I've been taking at least one psychiatric drug since I was 14 years old. They work best for me. Before I started taking Paxil, and I had no psych drugs in my system, I was almost delusional. I was convinced I was pregnant when it was physically impossible for me to be pregnant because I never had sex at that age. I also thought I had aids. And I had several other symptoms of depression and mental illness.

 

I have come to the conclusion, 10 years ago (after I went through that horrible Paxil withdrawal)  that I will always need a psychiatric medication. If I am dying in the hospital for whatever reason in the future, if it's liver failure or something, I will still be taking psychiatric drugs until the day I die, and it's the alcoholic brain inside me that is saying that. I can't live without them. They are my medicine for my brain. If these drugs take me to my grave, then so be it. I will even take Demerol in the future if I have to. I am an addict at heart. The depression and mental illness I have for me are worse than the physical side affects that they are doing to my body. At least I had a better quality of life on these drugs, free from most symptoms of depression and mental illness. I've been sober for 7 years and I've been out of the mental hospital for almost 10 years. Something I am doing is working, and I believe it is the psych drugs, in combination with lots of therapy.

 

Thanks for helping me and responding to my topic. I have no hard feelings against anyone here. I've been through horrific Paxil withdrawal 10 years ago, and I understand why people don't want anything more to do with these drugs. Its a double edged sword. You say tomatoe and I say tomato. It is as simple as that.

[Petunia]

Thanks for your honest response Apple, I'm sorry you are going through some difficult times at the moment and I'm even more sorry that you were put on these drugs at such an early age. 

 

Of course its your decision now, as an adult, if you want to continue taking them, its your life and we are not going to tell you what to do.  But please understand that we are a support site for helping people come off these drugs, and for that reason, its unlikely you will find a great deal of support here for your choice to continue using them.  Regardless of that, you are still very welcome here.

 

If you have any questions about how to manage symptoms from Anafranil withdrawal, here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

I hope you feel better soon,

Petunia.

[Apple]

Thanks for your honest response Apple, I'm sorry you are going through some difficult times at the moment and I'm even more sorry that you were put on these drugs at such an early age. 

 

Of course its your decision now, as an adult, if you want to continue taking them, its your life and we are not going to tell you what to do.  But please understand that we are a support site for helping people come off these drugs, and for that reason, its unlikely you will find a great deal of support here for your choice to continue using them.  Regardless of that, you are still very welcome here.

 

If you have any questions about how to manage symptoms from Anafranil withdrawal, here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

I hope you feel better soon,

Petunia.

Thanks for the response. I see my doctor tomorrow.  Now I'm really worried about these meds I'm on and been taking for the last 16 years. I've read my very last post before this one and now I'm scared. I've been through this before though.

[Fresh]

Hi Apple ,      try not to be scared.    You're in a pickle , so you need to be calm to figure out the best way forward from here.

 

After what you've been reading on here , do you think that you're having withdrawal symptoms since stopping anafranil?

 

No one is suggesting you stop the Prozac at this time.    You need to help your system stabilize , rather than further destabilize it by more changes.

You don't have to make any decisions this minute either way.   Let us know how you go with doc.

 

Fresh

[Apple]

Unfortunately, I can't make it to the doctor today because it's snowing. I called them a few times to reschedule and they aren't even answering, so I don't even think they are there yet.

 

 

I believe that I have only 3 withdrawal symptoms from withdrawing from the Anafranil. That is insomnia, crying jags,and obsessing. But I do obsess even when I am on the max dose of Anafranil. That's why I was on 300mg and not the max, which was 200-250mg.

 

I am very knowledgeable about withdrawal symptoms and everything. I could always learn more, but I'm too afraid and it gives me negative feelings. When I tried to withdraw from Paxil 10 years ago and ended up in the mental hospital 3 times because of withdrawal, and I found to pp weeks before the first hospitalization. I had over 2500 posts on pp. When I weaned off of Paxil successfully with the 10% method, I was only on Anafranil. So I was only on Anafranil for 5 years. I didn't do much research at all about withdrawal symptoms in those 5 years because I figured that one antidepressant won't kill me. Then I decided I wanted children and was put on 20mg of Prozac in August, and I started tapering off of 300mg of Anafranil in August as well. Then when I came off of Anafranil on Feb 1st, I got this insomnia and crying jags. 

 

Then I was obsessing until 5 am in the morning, over drawing over my ex friends garage door with permanent marker because she did something bad to me. So my doctor raised the Prozac from 30mg to 40mg. But I am going to try my best not to let my psychiatrist raise the Prozac any more than that. But I've been saying that for the past 10 years....so I don't really trust myself. I am very indecisive. Especially about have a kid.

[Apple]

Then I was obsessing until 5 am in the morning, over drawing over my ex friends garage door with permanent marker because she did something bad to me. So my doctor raised the Prozac from 30mg to 40mg. But I am going to try my best not to let my psychiatrist raise the Prozac any more than that. But I've been saying that for the past 10 years....so I don't really trust myself. I am very indecisive.

I just want to be clear....I wasn't going to draw or write something on my friends garage door. I was just obsessing over it. My therapist said that when I get angry I think of ways to get back at people. It's a negative coping mechanism I had since I was a kid. My therapist said I have to tell myself to step out of that world of revenge.