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Dane22: Attempting to stop prozac


Dane22

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Sarasmiles, it's official. You are AMAZING! Yes, this is my fight song. You're one incredible human being.

 

Thank you. ????

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Thank you Pug! Thank you Just!

 

Much better day. That was one long, nasty wave. Thought it would never go away.

 

Glass half full.

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Thank you Pug! Thank you Just!

 

Much better day. That was one long, nasty wave. Thought it would never go away.

 

Glass half full.

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Hey Dane, I'm 16 months paxil cold turkey and having a hell of a time just existing. I walk/pace when I get bad too, eating healthy and drinking lots of water helps too. I hope you will have an easier time than I am, relief is very rare for me. Anyway hoping you can recover quickly :).

Paxil 2007-2012, somnolence for a few months so quit, anxiety gets severe again, put on citalopram (horrible reaction). Used august 2013-September 2013, quit and doctor reinstates paxil (reaction again ) on from sep to dec. Quit cold turkey and suffer problems to this day

 

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Thank you Blackhill. Funny about the walking/pacing. Brings about the same comfort that rocking brings a baby, lol. Well, we do whatever have to do. I'm sure if someone looked in my window while i was walking in circles they would liken me to a caged animal. Hmm, I've always hated zoos. Always felt animals shouldn't be caged, yet here we are, trying to get out of the cage in our heads.

 

Thank you for the response. I hope you have a BIG window today. You've been off long enough that you've earned a thousand of them ????

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Day 21. Yup, 3 weeks.

 

the last two day were really good. My agenda was packed and it ended up being very productive. A mix of work, socializing and enjoying the little things. I can feel small moments of organic happiness. there are times when I just smile and notice myself doing it.

 

Sleeping much better. But then again, I think I went 5 days without more than a two hour block of sleep. Fragmented and shallow sleep. Well, I must have crashed.

 

Biggest help for me in this period of recovery are (drum roll please) Be productive. Exercise. Nutrition. Avoid mood altering substances (alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, white flour and sugar). Get out of bed (GET OUT OF BED) every flippin morning, early. no naps. Socialize (sometimes hard, but I also consider this socializing).

 

woke up today and was in a funk in bed. No major nightmares, but sad dreams. I decided to focus on the day and changed my thinking. I focused on what I was going to do, the things I was going to accomplish and I was fortunate that my thinking started to shift.

 

Its not easy every day. But my glass must be half full. If its not, than I'm going to create tiny little good moments all day and keep adding them to the glass until that thing is half full. For me, I cannot sit back and wait for the glass to be half full, I need to fight somedays and really focus on a better future and work as hard as I can. Somedays it works, others are more of a challenge.

 

So. Today I will have a glass half full. Wishing all of you a window...even if it takes a frickin' pry bar to force that thing open!

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Had a good day yesterday. Actually, I felt like my pre-Prozac days. Productive, no obsessing, no anxiety, feeling basically calm and well.

 

I also notice that I'm becoming a "doer" again. On Prozac, I would create these long lists of things to do in an attempt to be organized and productive. Most of the things on the list were simple chores that would take minutes to complete. After awhile, I was overwhelmed by these "lists". What i have noticed this week, I tackle most things as they arise, no need to put them on a growing list.

 

As of today, my list has two items. Sense of accomplishment and I feel a bit "normal".

 

Today my glass is pretty full. Sending everyone here pitchers off "little good things" to fill your glasses up.

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Hi dane, glad you came out of the dry patch into shimmering goodness :) jI get what you mean about lists, I really do...

reason for medication: anorexia nervosa, depression and anxiety

 

lustral for 2-3 years at 150mg, straight switch to prozac

prozac at 60 mg for ~ 6-7 years - initial side effects included hallucinations - yay me. 

attempt to come off prozac failed due to depression returning at 20mg prozac

prozac decreased to 40 mg for ~ 2 years

attempt to come off prozac tapering 40, 35, 30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5, 2.5, 1 mg per day, two weeks at each dose: first month or so on zero dose fine then triggered into relapse of anorexia nervosa, depression and anxiety

20 mg prozac for ~3 years, attempted 30 or 25 mg to control anxiety but could not tolerate, so used valium.

March 2015, 2 years since complete AN recovery: alternate day dosing of 20mg prozac, felt like crap, switched to 10mg liquid daily, then started gradual taper

August 2015 taper has reached 5.6 mg prozac and taking 40mg omeprazole

December 2015 20 mg omperazole

May 2016 taper has reached 1.8 mg, attempting omeprazole taper to 15 mg

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just checking in on you, Dane, so you'll know I'm thinking of you. How are things?  Glass half full today?  I hope so!

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How are you doing, Dane? Hugs, Pug.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Wow. I need to update. I sign on daily to read others posts, but im so tired that I don't update my own.

 

Tired from being busy/productive. Spring is always busy, but this year I'm not on Prozac so I'm actually productive instead of just running around with nervous energy. I have to say, much clearer in thought, I feel a sense of serenity, patience and I'm much more organized in my thoughts.

 

I wake up each day and do my best, find that I'm actually flexible when things don't go as planned. Off Prozac, I feel calm.

 

I continue to take diet and exercise seriously. things are going well, so I continue to avoid stimulants (coffee, alcohol, cigarettes, et cetera). any and all medications I evaluate before ingesting (even an aspirin). I just feel too good to chance it. And my anxiety? gone. I think its a result of Prozac and stimulants that made me always feel on edge and nervous.

 

Its five weeks and one day since I went CT. I wont say success yet. I think the three month mark will make me feel confident.

 

Had a couple sad days this week, but they were a direct result of family issues that were tragic, so it was identifiable and "normal". But I made sure to follow my plan and make the most of a bad week. And I'm doing well, without any mood altering substances,

 

Sending good vibes to all. I'll check on ya'll and ill post as things unfold.

 

glass is near full this week :)

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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I can't tell you how happy I am to hear how well you are doing, Dane!!  Wonderful news!  It's so interesting that you are feeling better off of Prozac. Of course this is our hope in quitting, but it's great to learn of it's happening that way. I'm feeling better too, as I decrease my Prozac. Also clearer thinking, with more energy.  Yay!

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This is great news Dane. It sounds like you're doing well riding out the inevitable ups and downs of life. Wonderful you feel better off the meds. May it continue!

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Good job Dane!! I was waiting to hear an update from you, glad it's going so well! :)

Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD

 

November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg

C/T off 20mg Cipralex

Went into dark depression (never experienced before med)

September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg

Weaned down to 10mg and held

October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac

Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable

June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg

June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Dane - It is good that you are doing so well, but it's only just over a month since you quit.  The Day Reports I want to see are Day 183, Day 365, and Day 500.  And you think that this month went slow?  Okay.  But I won't preach. 

 

You're doing everything right - the diet, exercise, the walking, the therapy, the bright attitude.  I see a lot of myself in you - how when I started this journey - I was gonna show 'm that I didn't need their stinkin' drugs, and walk away.  But I found out that CT is a bad idea, especially with a long time on the drugs - and I can't say that tapering has been a cake walk either.  But overall, in the experience of SA, CT is dangerous - that's why we were "shouting" so loud at you to stop while you still could.

 

(ps - we don't believe in "half lives" or "therapeutic doses" in here.  Therapeutic doses are set by the drug companies, and are usually much higher, double, triple, quadruple what an "effective dose" might be)

 

We all know someone who went CT and got off no big deal.  My suggestions were strong, I know that - and it's not just because of your case, your previous CT attempts - but because of the myriads of CT cases I've seen through SA and other places, and the experience gained from them.

 

You're not gonna updose, you're gonna hunker down.  I guess we've suggested all we can, as that reinstatement success window narrows.  One last shot though - Alto thinks that at such a tiny dose, you will not have the effects and repercussions you had at higher doses.

 

Maybe you will win the CT lottery, and walk away after 3 months with no further symptoms.  I could estimate statistics on that - but that would be unprofessional.  Let's just say, if I bet on you in a horse race, it would be a huge payoff if you win (a long shot).

 

I suspect you have youth on your side, and also the fact that (other Prozac people may chime in and tell me I'm denigrating their pain) that Prozac is one of the easier antidepressants to come off of.  And I can honestly say that here in SA, we usually only see the troubles - the people who are desperate for help - we don't see the other ones "out there" in the world who are doing fine and who don't need SA.

 

They do exist, I know they do.  And I commend you for your multi-faceted approach toward becoming one of them.  I will check in from time to time, it sounds like you have some regular support here, which is also awesome to find.

 

SA is not just about going off the drugs - it's about taking charge of your own healthcare.  And you are doing that in spades!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Anyone who says Prozac is one of the easier AD's to come off of needs to spend an hour in my body and brain. It is horrific. Unimaginable. The only difference between Prozac and other SSRI's is that it has a longer half life so the withdrawal just slams in months later.

Diagnosed: Pure O Ocd, Severe Anxiety Disorder NOS, PMDD

 

November 2009 - May 2013- CIPRALEX 20mg

C/T off 20mg Cipralex

Went into dark depression (never experienced before med)

September 2013 - March 2014- PROZAC 20mg

Weaned down to 10mg and held

October 1st 2014 C/T off 10mg Prozac

Protracted withdrawal - 8 months of the most horrific suffering imaginable

June 1st 2015 - ZOLOFT 25mg

June 26th 2015 - Dose increase to 50mg of Zoloft (taken at night after dinner). Slowly improving but still have severe OCD/ruminating, intense DP/DR, and brain fog. Just trying to stabilize at this point.

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I started a topic for people coming off prozac only because I wanted to get an idea if it was easier.

I was feeling ashamed that I was having so much struggle when I was ONLY getting off prozac, which

people keep saying is the easiest one to quit.

What I realize now is that, as Will Hall emphasizes, everybody is unique, drugs affect people differently

and so everyone's withdrawal is their own journey. 

On 20 mg of Prozac for about ten years. Sept 2012 started reducing 10% a drop using gram scale, with average of one month holds.

When I'd reached the half way mark, taking 10 mg  powder out of the 20 mg capsules, I switched over to 10 mg capsules and cutting

down from those. Withdrawals got harder the lower I dropped.  May 2013 changed to 5% drops, holding until all withdrawal symptoms gone.

January 2015 changed to liquid prozac (concentration of 20MG per 5 mL) using a 1mL oral syringe.

Current dose of fluoxetine solution equivalent 3.4 mg. Any effort to drop below this has been disastrous so for the time being I'm staying at this level.
Adding 200 mg Tryptophan and 200 GABA a day has helped with anxiety.
Also take 1,300mg Omega- 3,  875mg  Magnesium, 1800mg Curcumin, 1000mg Vit C, 5000 Vit D.
 

 

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thanks for checking in JanCarol. I appreciate the positives, but the negatives are really unhelpful. I continue to do well, so the "wait and see..1/2 a year, 1 year, 500 days.", or "its a gamble..." minimizes my efforts to stay above water. Those comments are very counterproductive. I do not believe we have control all the time. When there is a bad wave, all we can do is hope it passes and do our best to exist. However, for me, when there are days that are grey, I have a choice to try my hardest to be as optimistic as I can. To create an environment that is positive, calm and productive. Signing on here to hear how I just dodged a bullet or I have yet to experience the worst is a kick in the gut.

 

Indigo and Just, yes, everyone is individual. I asked a few different times to be brought into the local psychiatric hospital as I thought I was losing my mind on Prozac. It was horrid. I would never wish it on anyone. Prozac robbed me of so much, and caused me so much grief. I am sorry I ever took it. But I did. All I can do is give my body everything I can to help repair itself.

 

Indigo and Just. Please, keep plugging along! Everyday, give it what you have. You will find your own way of coming to terms with all this as everyone is different. Maybe for us it will end up with low doses? No doses? Slow tapers? Al long as we don't give up and keep trying. May your glasses by half full today :)

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Sara and FreeSpirit, thank you. I signed on for a boost and you gave it to me:) I hope you are well and that today has more positives than yesterday. Hugs to you both!

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Hugs to you, too, Dane!  

 

JanCarol, what do you mean, "we don't believe in 'half lives' or 'therapeutic doses' in here?"  I don't think those are theories up for debate...you can't really argue with bio-chemistry.  Drugs do have half-lives.  A half life is the time required for a substance to decrease by half. It can be measured. A therapeutic dose is the amount of a medication needed to produce the desired effect.  Those aren't definitions you can reasonably say "we don't believe in".  

 

I'm so glad you're doing well, Dane.  Hang on to your optimism.  It's helping you heal! 

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Keep moving forward, Dane, and ignore the doom and gloom comments. Stay positive. It's the best thing you have going for you.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Sending a big virtual hug back to you Dane. Focusing on optimism can actually change the physical structures of your brain...naturally, without drugs. I really admire how dedicated you are to doing that. And the truth is, none of us knows what life holds for us down the road. Uncertainty is a reality of being alive. But being a "glass half-full" kind of person makes you more resilient to whatever life brings you. Plus the more we pay attention to what is beautiful, the more that's what our mind focuses on.

 

At age 60, with a lifetime of seeing the worst (I was well-trained by my Mom)...it's taking a lot more from me to shift those tendencies. But I notice the differences nonetheless. I didn't feel well physically last week, but when working outside, put my attention onto the sights, sounds, and smells of spring. It made weeding, a task I normally detest, much more pleasant. I was also contemplating what is good about having a highly sensitized nervous system--like being able to take in what is beautiful to a much larger degree. Nature and music can bring me to tears...which I see as a good thing. 

 

Keep filling that glass and admiring the water. I think you're on the right track for you.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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well now. The above posts by Sara, Pug and FreeSpirit are PERFECT examples of support and lending someone a hand. Wow. I am blown away that I have those responses on this thread. Your random acts of kindness are so important, so precious during this journey. Thank you. :D

 

Sara, thank you. And yes, I agree. I think JanCarol forgot that she referred to "half lives" in one of her original posts to me. Water under the bridge. Moving forward. I have to remember to take what is helpful and inspiring and leave the rest.

 

Pug, thank you. Very sweet. Helping people even on a day when your cup is quite half full.

 

FreeSpirit, I share your views on how optimism effects the brain. I believe in that. Its not always a backstroke through a wave...Sometimes I simply have to ride it out on a surf board...other times I can jump in and swim through it.

 

Hugs to you all! And I'm sending water for all your glasses so that they may be half full (or even more) today!

 

Planting today. Deer came through in the fall and destroyed many of our fruit trees. Rather than sulk, I simply replant and plan on a  different way of protecting them this coming fall. Its a good day today, and was a good day yesterday. Thanks to a plan that appears to be working now and the support from others, including my SA buddies!

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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I started a topic for people coming off prozac only because I wanted to get an idea if it was easier.

I was feeling ashamed that I was having so much struggle when I was ONLY getting off prozac, which

people keep saying is the easiest one to quit.

What I realize now is that, as Will Hall emphasizes, everybody is unique, drugs affect people differently

and so everyone's withdrawal is their own journey. 

This is so true and so helpful. Thanks for posting this Indigo. Sorry I missed it until now.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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FreeSpirit, I share your views on how optimism effects the brain. I believe in that. Its not always a backstroke through a wave...Sometimes I simply have to ride it out on a surf board...other times I can jump in and swim through it.

 

I'm sure there are much more technical writings on brain changes, but this is an easy to read article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prime-your-gray-cells/201108/happy-brain-happy-life

 

Keep on riding and swimming. You're finding your own way through this. As Indigo posted above, each journey is unique..and to me, this is the whole deal. Finding what's right for oneself, from moment to moment. Happy surfing!

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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7 weeks. I had to actually go back and review my thread to see how many weeks.

 

Despite having lost my brother this week to a short, aggressive battle with brain cancer, I have managed to live day to day. I am thankful to have been able to spend those last days with him off of Prozac and not chemically altered. We bonded, it was awesome. I'll miss him terribly. It means a lot to me that our last days together were spent with the "real me". We left off on an organic, truthful, loving note.

 

Things are going well. lets break it down.

 

negatives. Sleep pattern has yet to be established. At a minimum, I can fall back asleep after about an hour.

 

positives. I can feel. My thoughts are clearer. I'm more patient. I can triage and organize my day much better. I deal with negative emotions slowly and carefully, knowing that some of the times all I can do is ride them out. I'm not reaching for a pill, a cigarette, a drink, a coffee, a snack....et cetera. I have happy moments. I have sad moments. I'll take them all over the chemical lobotomy that Prozac gave me.

 

My plan has tweaked as thing have changed. Basically ; no caffeine, no alcohol, no cigarettes, ingest nothing that is mood altering, no refined sugars or flours. Always look to the positives during the day. Socialize daily (much easier now). No naps (except Saturday). out of bed right away. Be productive every day. Exercise daily (lift and run). eat healthy, no processed or junk. Live life with an "I can do it" attitude...which includes not making lists after lists of things to do. If I can do it right away, just do it. Long lists are overwhelming and not productive for me. psychotherapy biweekly.

 

basically, that's the outline. For me, its working. The only supplements I take are a vitamin B12 shot weekly and vitamin D daily. I take nothing else. If I have a headache, I take one advil if necessary. No over the counter pills, lotions, potions, voodoo anything. Everything we ingest has a side effect. Its what works for me. Hopefully, I can help someone else as I have adopted ideas from others.

 

my glass is full today.

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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Though it's sad losing your brother, what a gift that you had that time and level of connection with him. I hope that helps carry you through the grief.

 

I continue to be amazed at your attitude through this. You're an inspiration to me on the possibility of seeing life through a different lens..half-full rather than half-empty.

 

I had to laugh about the lists...I've been in that boat of lists of lists since my wife died. Lately, I'm more able to just do things rather than write them down...though writing sometimes help me remember what I would otherwise forget.

 

May your glass continue to fill.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Hey Dane,

I'm so, so sorry to read about your brother.  It's wonderful that you can see the positive in your goodbye with him, and that you are still feeling glad to be off of Prozac. Sending lots of support and good wishes your way! 

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Cheers Dane,

 

I saw this and thought of you...

glass-half-empty.jpg

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

thank you Sara and FreeSpirit.

 

tomorrow is 10 weeks since my last Prozac. No regrets. For me, the pills were making me so ill I couldn't pop one more into my body. Everyone has their own plan, this one is working for me.

 

Had a few waves recently. One lasted 3 1/2 days. They are all depression/anxiety waves. Some less offensive than others. Some difficult. My brain is still balancing itself. After all that time of forcing the chemistry to change with medications, alcohol, stimulants et cetera, I just think it'll take some time to repair itself. In the meantime, I'm learning how to deal with depression without meds.

 

today the wave is lifting. This last one was difficult. I was only at 30% of myself, finding it difficult to engage in the world around me. I'm not so sure that this has anything to do with Prozac, but I think this is my depression that hits in waves, always has. I do feel its worse now because I spent the last couple years medicating myself through these waves (meds, alcohol, stimulants, et cetea). So now, a wave hits, and I am ill prepared as I have no skills to handle them.

 

As time goes on, I will learn how to effectively deal with life's lows and they wont be as difficult.

 

adding good thoughts and anything positive to my cup to keep it half full.

 

hope you all are having a better day with some positives that randomly pop up throughout your week.

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

Link to comment

Good to hear your update, though the waves sound challenging. 30% probably doesn't seem like much, when you'd like to be there fully...but even that is better that it could be. Seems like you're learning how to ride the waves...and you will gain more skills with each one.

 

We live in a culture that encourages and supports distraction and avoidance of pain. I'm reading a book called "healing through the dark emotions", which I'm finding helpful. She describes our culture as "emotion phobic"...which I think is quite true. So you, along with everyone else, have mastered ways to get away. Sometimes though, that can also be helpful. And I'd like to think that we can learn to be with just as well as we've learned to run away.

 

I trust that you'll find what you need, as you need it. Support can come through all sorts of ways, often surprising ones, when we are willing to open to it. Seems like you're in a receptive state in your life. I think that counts for a lot.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

thank you freespirit, youre a good soul:)

 

wow. I haven't updated in awhile. 3 months without Prozac poison. thank god. been a bumpy road at times.

 

Learning how to deal with depression and anxiety without chemicals. Sometimes, I breeze right through...other times the waves are challenging and nothing in my tool box works. Those times all I can do is simply ride it out. Even now, the waves are temporary. they may last a few days (crap), or just a few hours. What I have noticed is that I have emotions. All kinds. I'll take the good with the bad, its far better than the chemical lobotomy I experienced on Prozac.

 

Today, feeling empowered. Woke up with some depression and anxiousness. I'm lucky this is a smaller wave. I was able to tell myself that I need to move on and I cant let my day pass without me. I'm learning how to deal with depression and anxiety. I'm learning how to let go of the things I cannot control. I have the foresight to see that I need to let go of things or I'll never find joy. Its not easy. Some days I simply cannot. What excites me is that I'm starting to figure this out. How to let things go and be happy and find joy is going to be a work in progress. There is light.

 

I do believe that my brain chemistry is still in the process of balancing itself out. I do believe that some of what I feel is my underlying depression and anxiety. With therapy and the other tools in my box, I am hopeful now that I will find joy. Its my ultimate goal. I think its all our ultimate goals.

 

there is a light.

not everyday is a walk in the park.

but I'm telling you, It gets easier.

 

to all of you. You are special. You are needed. You are someone.

September 2013. Diagnosed depression/anxiety. Start Prozac 10mg and slowly increase to 40mg.

October 2013. Lorazepam 0.5mg prescribed for anxiety after complaining about nervous energy

November 2013. prescribed a sleeping pill (name?) for insomnia. took once. ineffective.

January to June 2014. psychiatrist agrees to lower dose to 15 mg due to side effects.

August 2014 first attempt to quit cold turkey Lasted August 1, 2014 until October 1, 2014

November 2014 second attempt to quit cold turkey lasted Novemember 4, 2014 until Jan 13, 2015

January 2015 3rd attempt to quit cold turkey lasted feb 3, 2015 until feb 23, 2015

March 5, 2015 4th attempt to quit cold turkey.

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I feel for you Dane22. My WD symptoms are mostly anxiety and dark thoughts too. Brave of you to go Cold Turkey.

Wishing you all the best with your journey.I'm tip toeing off Prozac and even 1% drops are causing waves of dread. 

On 20 mg of Prozac for about ten years. Sept 2012 started reducing 10% a drop using gram scale, with average of one month holds.

When I'd reached the half way mark, taking 10 mg  powder out of the 20 mg capsules, I switched over to 10 mg capsules and cutting

down from those. Withdrawals got harder the lower I dropped.  May 2013 changed to 5% drops, holding until all withdrawal symptoms gone.

January 2015 changed to liquid prozac (concentration of 20MG per 5 mL) using a 1mL oral syringe.

Current dose of fluoxetine solution equivalent 3.4 mg. Any effort to drop below this has been disastrous so for the time being I'm staying at this level.
Adding 200 mg Tryptophan and 200 GABA a day has helped with anxiety.
Also take 1,300mg Omega- 3,  875mg  Magnesium, 1800mg Curcumin, 1000mg Vit C, 5000 Vit D.
 

 

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